Double Take

Bluecatcinema universe44 stories ·23 members

Sparkler, Rarity's cousin, come to visit, bringing with her some friends, who interact with the Mane Six in very interesting ways...

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Comments ( 5 )

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Trillionage

Trillionage #1 · Feb 11th, 2012 · · ·

Sorry to say this, but even before reading it i felt it was rushed. Your idea is one that needs lots of build up and showing (you tell just too much). The first act should have been 2000 words, not the whole fic.

Jumpitydude

Jumpitydude #2 · Feb 11th, 2012 · · ·

This felt like an "On a Cross and Arrow" type story compressed into one chapter. For those who don't know, that was about ten chapters. So this was definitely rushed. And before you bring up "Twilit Butterfly," that is more comparable to the first three chapters of a long ship-fic like "Study buddies," and I'm trying to flesh it out a bit more. So yeah, my fic is rushed, but this feels even more rushed. Don't take this as an insult, all I'm saying is, "Take your time, get it right, and you'll get noticed."