Diamond Tiara was having a good morning. Then her mother dropped dead. Then things got weird.

A collaboration with SockPuppet. Inspiration in the author's note at the end.
Story notes

In a game of truth or dare, sometimes truth can be more interesting...and disturbing. Such is the case when Trixie is asked why she refers to herself in the third person and casually explains how little regard she has for ethics.

Contains rather gross comedy as well as dark, copious cider consumption, and clones.

Oh my god, really?! Haven't we all had enough of this? I mean, just look at Sunset! The poor horsewoman can hardly take it anymore!

You know what, screw it. Just read it, you know how the story goes.

Or DO you?

...you probably do.

100th Story Special!

Featured 6/25/2022!

Inspired in part by shortskirtsandexplosion's story "Ma'am, This Is a Wendy's...?"

Which taught me not to hold back when I'm trying to be funny.

Here's a list of all my stories for easy access!

Applejack knew that Apple Bloom was growing up, and she knew that one day it would be her job to tell her about where baby ponies come from, why she suddenly has weird feelings for colts (or fillies, maybe), and what happens to mares every summer that brings the previous two facts full circle. She just didn't think that time would be now. And she also didn't think she'd have to tell her sister's two best friends about it at the same time.

In hindsight, Rarity probably wasn't the best pony to run to for help.

My hot take on what "really" happened to the 140 million dollar aircraft that our government misplaced in Carolina this week. Enjoy.

This story is a sequel to Salmon Run

When the leaves turn golden and crisp, fried by the Summer Sun to a tender perfection, Twilight Sparkle discovers something even MORE alarming than whatever was up with the pegasi in the previous fic.

Alternate Summary: The pegasi are missing. Twilight is the only one alarmed about this, and it's up to Applejack to make things worse.

Other Alternate Summary: "Twilight learns things that outrage her and Applejack uses potato as a verb."

Written as an "intentionally-bad" sequel to Mushroom's fabulous and genuinely well-written Salmon Run for a contest in which a group of friends all wrote awful expansions to each other's stuff. When asked to comment, Mushroom had the following to say:

"I am absolutely HOWLING.

I should have known this would be stupidly brilliant. I'm genuinely angry that this is so good and creative and interesting because it's literally. This. It's potatoes.

I have a mighty need to create an image of roided out RD. Silent, you're a terrifying genius. This will genuinely, truly never leave me." -Mushroom

Art done by Mushroom immediately after their comment.

You've been the only human in Equestria for some time now. However, it wasn't until this morning that your good friend Twilight suggested you take a peek through the Crystal Mirror. Supposedly, there is another world on the other side of that mirror populated by humans just like you.

She conveniently left out the fact that she herself turns into a human when she passes through it.

In hindsight, you probably should have seen this coming.

Casual McBig Piece consumption goes wrong (not at 3am), fussing turns into a violent hissing, and the stars align to create a magical moment. In the middle of the Big Fuss of 2013 war, our floppa protagonist is taken from their realm and transported into colorful horse-land. Will some talking magical mini-equines find a way to help our fusser solve the Great Fussening?

Fusstured 4/1-4/2/23

Floppite translation: "Hrm McBig Piece mmmmm hiss-ack (hyk-a), FUSSSSS hyykkk HISSSSSS, rrrewwarrwahmmmmm. Hhhyykkrrewerrr Big FUSSSSSS of 2013 ACK, hy-dlph floppa krrewrrwayaaaaaeerrrrr~. mmmewwwrrrak hhyykkawwerr Great FUSSSSSSening?"

Submitted into Racc's 2023 Crackfic Storm

The long awaited sequel is here! Will Midnight and her pineapple pizza-pen triumph, or will it be Calypso and her Mook? And why is Future Calypso riding a emo-corn? The stunning three-part mini series continues!

April Fools. I regret everything.

Have you ever decided to do something so unimaginably horrid to someone as a prank, and when common sense tells you to stop and reevaluate your life choices—you slam your foot on the gas and dump the clutch? Ugh. Car metaphors? They don't belong in Equestria. Look, this is about three griffons, one pegasus, and a really crappy prank; gone right.

So I only had 2.5 hours sleep last night. How are you doing?

See This Blog for licensing.