Mane-iac is having a bad day. She has no ideas, her previous ideas have all been failures, and her confidence in herself is shattered.

With nothing better to do, she goes to see her archenemies, the Power Ponies.

Cover art by SakuraWolfer.

Twilight walks into Quills and Sofas to find out, to her surprise, that Chrysalis works there.

Art made by Kamikakushi!

Now with a silky smooth Youtube reading by Wayart Narration!

Peaches. Peaches are awesome. Peaches are best fruit. James and the Giant Peach is my favorite movie. Obviously, when I got the funds to go to Comic Con, I dressed as a giant peach.

For some reason, people hate peaches. They should hate Apples. Apples are evil. My old peach tree told me that, and because I didn’t listen, one of them burned my house down.

Continuity: Optional, or for as long as I remember the plot.

Blueshift, this is all your fault.

Author's Note: I didn't try. At all. If this gets upvotes, I'll start seeing how many sharks I can jump intentionally because this does not deserve it.
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Idiots.

Sweetie_Belle.jpg is a fantastic file, doing her duty and sending electronic heart attacks into the populace at large. But her life isn't all copy and paste, there's trouble in Equestria.zip, and only Sweetie_Belle.jpg can restore peace to the numerous files and codes in Cheerilee's_Classroom.exe

Sweetie_Belle.jpg will travel far and wide to solve the mystery of the corrupted Diamond_Tiara.png, with her friends at her side: Flightless_Chicken.gif and Apple_Bloom.png

This is their story.

Now with a reading by kingfish! Go check him out :

[This is]..one of the most bizarre yet internally coherent stories I have ever read. - PresentPerfect

Ivan is just your everyday type of guy. Middle-aged, balding, Eastern European, grew up in harsh and merciless communism, and took to smoking three packs of cigarettes a day since childhood, washing it down with vodka as well. When he heard about the great opportunities the magical land of Equestria were offering, he got one of the first green cards there and opened up shop in Ponyville. A saddle shop, to be specific, where he sells saddles and saddle accessories.

Why ponies buy saddles, Ivan doesn't know, and when he finds out, he'd like very much to go back to not knowing.

Thanks to my pre-reader RedSquirrel456 for all his help.

It was no national secret.

Celestia always told her guards that nopony was to touch her mane. Ever. If terrorists broke into the castle and held her at swordpoint, they were to let her die before anypony touched her mane. If an adoring foal ever grasped for her flowing locks in the street then they were to be tackled as if they had held a knife to her throat. If she tripped at the top of the Unreasonably Long Staircase in the highest tower of the castle, broke her wings and began to slide over the edge of the stairs then they were to look on impassively as she fell rather than grasp her by her mane to save her.

Nopony was to touch Celestia's mane; it shouldn't have been a difficult command to obey. Somewhere in the depths of the Canterlot archives lay a twisted and malicious law on the subject and now, for the first time ever, she had to exercise it.

For fate had dealt her a hand worse then death, worse than damnation, worse even than Discord.

Fate chuckled, or perhaps cackled, and threw her a mane full of Pinkie Pie.

She's been assured by her sister a thousand times that they are equals, so where the hay is her throne?

The Playcolt Magazine company recently hosted a contest in Ponyville. In order to gather publicity, they asked the Elements of Harmony to write for the magazine.

Warning: Not intended for human, alien, sapient, sentient, or otherwise functioning eyes.

A/N: now with voice reading by "TheCaptainSand". Listen to his wonderfully dulcet british tones and his hilarious Applejack impression here. Thanks again, Cap!

Due to slightly contrived circumstances, Maud Pie becomes Equestria's fifth, newest (*cough* best *cough*) alicorn princess. Inducted, she will face the most dangerous, diabolical threat anypony has ever devised:

The legal system.

Will she be as stoic as ever? Will she be able to handle the crushing paperwork? Will Pinkie get to plan her coronation party?! Only one thing is for certain:

Rocks.

Many, many rocks.

Oh, and an attempted assassination and eventual plot to take over the world as we know it.

But mostly rocks.

XXXXXXXX

Just a little something I came up with. I apologize if it has errors, i haven't had much time to edit. I did fix it up as best as I could, though.

Hope you laugh! (If not, I apologize. Maud comedy is kind of hard to write, considering that... y'know. She's Maud.)

EDIT: Featured 10/9! My second featured story, and it only took me 8 months to do it! WOO-HOO!

EDIT 2: Holy crap. as of 10/21, my story is so popular that is in the realm of being in the featured box every time it gets updated. Can't thank you guys enough, cliche as it sounds.

Twilight forgets to tuck something in when she wakes up.