After several jumps go wrong, Anon lands himself, er, herself into another land of colorful equines. This time stuck for an entire year before being able to continue on her quest of returning home.

Question remains, will Anon want to?

Proofread and edited by PseudoBob Delightus and Discombobulated Soul

Starts shortly before season one. More character tags will be added as they become relevant.
Includes a grumpy former human.
Dark tag for flashbacks.
Violence tag for flashbacks, mentions of past violence and the second chapter and tenth chapter
Will there be cake?
Maybe?
Maybe includes cake.

This story is a sequel to Quick! Distract Chrysalis!

Half a year later and you've been going steady with your loveable changeling queen. Perhaps it is time to finally pop in the golden question of a man's lifetime? Even getting help from Twilight and her quirky bunch of friends to set up the perfect moment to do so. However, ominous forces are preventing you from getting the right moment to show her the ring. What are these forces and how will you overcome them?

Art by KP-ShadowSquirrel

Audio reading by StraightToThePointStudio

One of the mane six likes mares. Anon took it upon himself to find out who.

Head Graphics

Once upon a time, on the not-so-magical planet Earth, there was a US Marine who signed up to defend his country. He was assigned to a fire team, the fire team assigned to a squad and the squad assigned to a platoon. Together they defended the area surrounding a Forward Operating Base in Afghanistan from insurgents. If only it were that simple.

When lone Marine is transported to Equestria he finds a post-apocalyptic wasteland. With no orders, no resupply and seemingly no hope of return, he sets out to find what brought him here, and why.

Strong Language Warning: He swears like a Marine.
Disclaimer: I'm not a Marine

What do readers have to say about this story?

"[T]his has to be the dumbest sounding plot I've ever heard of. But my god do you take that and fuck it in its ass ... Its just so real and witty and genuine that the whole premise actually works!" ComprehensiveBrony

"Yes, it's human-in-Equestria, but it's good. ... the action scenes had me sitting on the edge of my seat" Tebee

Cover by me, background stock by DarkDragon774

Rainbow Dash's morning was pretty much ruined.
She tripped getting out of bed and landed flat on her face, giving herself an aching muzzle.
She forgot to buy her favorite brand of hay flakes at the store yesterday and had to eat plain toast for breakfast.
She found out she had to pull double-duty today and tomorrow on the weather patrol.
Oh, and she found a nearly-dead foal, broken and bleeding at the edge of Ponyville.

The rest of her day became a whirlpool of stress and worry but the colt woke up, thank Celestia.
Something's not right, though. Nopony can find his parents, he's not in the registers, and there's an unsettling look in his eye...

-
YouTube reading by Fire Hearth

Chinese Translation by forgivenlove

Russian Translation by Likantrop

TV Tropes page, if you're interested in that sort of thing.

Ragar the Ageless has seen many things in his non-life. He has seen fields of cotton candy, the wails of the soon-to-be-dead chanting in chorus. Once he even saw a unicorn. Well, there are a lot of those in Equestria, so maybe that one was less noteworthy. But still, he's seen a lot. Now he wants others to see him in all his glorious evil. The only issue is he's not so good at it.

** EDIT **

Well crap, featured with every chapter. I feel all special and stuff. So let me give you all some love. You're all wonderful people, trees or whatever internet capable folks have been reading.

Dang, look at all those likes. I'm feeling the love. Thank all of you for enjoying my wonderful trip through insane necromancy.

Many Thanks to Locke_Jaw for his wonderful artwork that is my new cover.

Featured on January 24th-28th, 2020

You stumbled apon facing the toughest challenge since coming to Equestria; fighting off three overpowered villains with a bell to take all the magic from the ponies. It is up to you to help stop them from getting more powerful by using yourself as bait. When Chrysalis encounters you though, a clever idea struck your vision.

To ask her out!

Cover art by mirroredsea

Audio reading by StraightToThePointStudio

When I agreed to be sent to Equestria I didn't read the fine print. I'm the wrong age, the wrong sex, and lost in the wilderness.

New Cover art commissioned from Lunar Froxy.