**For those who skip the author notes, this is not canon**
My coat glistened with sweat, the afternoon heat was stifling, the humidity oppressive.
I want to melt between the cracks in the earth. I want to wake from this nightmare…
“Aren’t you going to accept my apology?” Diamond Tiara asked.
“Please never speak to me again,” I warned.
She huffed.
“Wow, I thought maybe you were cool but-”
My blood turned to molten lava. I wanted to break her stupid face. In that moment, she was every bully I faced in my life.
“Fall down a well, Diamond Tiara.” I interrupted.
She smirked.
The feeling in my chest like I was going to burst if I didn’t scream, the hairs of my coat standing on end, the accursed stinging in my eyes… and the painful spark that I felt from the tip to the base of my horn.
Sweetie Screamed. The others quickly followed suit. I was already on the move.
I couldn’t hear my own hoofsteps over the sound of my wrongly placed heart beating too fast. The landscape seemed to remain frozen in place as my small, frail body was pushed to its limits.
Useless!
My tiny, frail legs felt like leaden weights. My too-small lungs struggled to breathe. A searing pain shot through my forehead. The tree Diamond Tiara collide with remained too far away. I pushed forward.
I tasted dirt.
I had hardly needed to move like my life, or in this case, someone’s life depended on it. The rhythms for reaching and maintaining a rapid speed were far more complicated in this body. I spat a wad of crud out of my mouth before shakily getting to my hooves. I could still hear the cries and screams from behind me.
I ignored my body’s complaints as I once more moved into a gallop.
This was my fault.
The tree came into view. And so did diamond tiara.
My coat stood on end.
A large tree branch had skewered itself through her abdomen. My gaze hyperfocused upon the short, shallow movements of Diamond Tiara’s chest. It was an honest to god miracle that she was still alive, considering the force that was required to even launch her at such a distance.
I sucked air into my lungs.
I can still fix this. Focus.
I breathed out.
Her half-lidded eyes turn to look at me as I closely inspected the wound. The first and most important thing to remember when dealing with impaled objects was to not remove the impaled object. Contrary to pop culture and movies, removing objects without proper medical expertise could trigger external bleeding that can’t be stopped with external pressure.
Focus. Breathe. I can fix this.
A choked, painful gasp left Diamond Tiara’s lips as she started to hyperventilate. Her body began to thrash before I held her in place as best I could.
“Diamond, don’t move!” I shouted. “You will be ok! Just hold still and breathe.”
I couldn’t safely remove the branch without dealing irreparable damage to her. I also didn’t know how long it would take for help to arrive… but what could I do in the meantime? I can’t risk moving her, I can’t secure the branch-
I can’t do anything right. Why do I always screw up everything?
Diamond began to wail as her body shook upon the branch. I grimaced as I wrapped my limbs around her.
“Diamond, please! You have to stop!”
Blood began to pool inside her mouth and spill onto the earth below. I froze.
I couldn’t do anything to help her.
Useless. Useless! USELESS!
Another painful spark emitted from my horn before sputtering to the ground.
No.
Diamond’s glassy eyes met mine.
No.
Her chest deflated.
No!
“Diamond!”
“Enough.”
Everything stopped.
My stomach churned at the sight of Princess Luna touching down in front of me. Even without her filly form, she looked… unbecoming of a princess. Dark rings hung under her tired teal eyes as she scanned her surroundings while her once vibrant and starry mane hung uselessly to her side, its colors deflated.
“You will not find atonement this way, little one,” Luna whispered. “We have first hoof experience in this regard.”
“...But I deserve this.”
“Do you?”
I gave Luna a puzzled look.
“My sister went to great strides after our banishment to bring an end to all barbaric punishments. This,” Luna gestured with a forehoof. “Is torture.”
“But I couldn’t save her!” I yelled. “I murdered a child!”
“And I nearly murdered millions more.”
Luna looked out to the horizon with a thousand-yard stare. I remained silent.
“In our eyes, the millennia of solitary We faced was not enough. We forced ourselves to relive that cruel and empty prison, to howl into the ceaseless black until our lungs gave out. We forced ourselves to stare at the vibrant garden of a world that We so carelessly took for granted. We forced ourselves to become unmade and remade again and again as the elements burned away any semblance of our darker self.”
“The Tantabus.” I whispered to myself.
Luna turned to face me.
“It was not until we allowed ourselves to let go of our guilt and forgive ourselves that we found peace.”
With a flash from her horn, the oppressive heat was gone and I sighed in relief. Snowflakes glittered in the rays of light. Blinking my stinging eyes, I was mesmerized by the sight of snow-covered peaks poking above the dense fog below us. I sighed before closing my eyes and slowing my breathing.
“All wounds heal in time” Luna paused for a moment.“ even if they leave scars.”
Luna’s wing wrapped itself around me as she brought my tense body closer to herself. This may have been a dream, the soft comfort Luna provided was welcome. I managed to make myself believe that everything was fine, if even just briefly.
And then I felt bile rise to my throat.
“Why?”
“...Magic Surges are a random phenomenon that puzzles even our brightest minds. It can happen at any time and any place. For most foals, they merely disappear for a few hours and leave their parents worried sick. For others?”
“It can cause irreparable harm. Our subjects have made great strides to curtail such events or minimize the damage whenever possible… but sometimes it is not enough.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.
Luna’s ears folded to the side of her head as she kept her gaze outward. I was still not as well versed in pony body language, but I could feel the disgust oozing from every pore in her body. I could only imagine it was for me.
“...We have failed you, completely and utterly.”
“Luna- “
“No,” Luna interrupted, her tired dull eyes met mine. “We are just as much at fault for this. The signs were right in front of us but we did not heed them.”
“What signs?”
“During your stay at Ponyville General, the reports documented two separate cases of magic surges. The staff was… hesitant to label it as such, especially considering that surges are unheard of in foals your age.” Luna’s shoulders sagged slightly more with each word.
“We were made aware of these anomalies, but we did not act upon them, ” Luna closed her eyes. “It was inevitable that you would surge again… this folly was of our own making.”
“Luna, please don’t blame yourself,” I pleaded. “I was being inherently dishonest from the beginning, if even just by omission. I could have- no, should have come clean with you… but I took advantage of your trust instead!”
“Green, you had every right to be afraid,” Luna shook her head. “Thou wert stolen from thy home, reason as thou wish, thou wert in mortal peril.”
Luna gave me a steady look. “Thy survival was the most immediate concern.”
I couldn’t find the right words to say. I knew that I could have been honest with Luna on that first night. I could have avoided all of this had I just trusted her… but I was afraid to trust anyone. Once bitten, twice shy after all. But, perhaps she did have a point? I was at the edge of my wits when I was wandering in the Everfree Forest. Damnit, I need to fix this. Luna is not at fault for this.
“I could have tried- “
“To tell the truth? And who would have believed you?”
The staff at the hospital certainly didn’t. The elements, bar possibly Twilight, probably wouldn’t. Hell, I never believed any of my previous patients back on earth.
“The knowledge of alternate realities and the mirrors are a state secret. No good has come from it, and it will remain so.”
“...Was there really nothing I could have done differently?” I muttered dejectedly. My body slumped as I dissolved into the feathery embrace to hide my shame. What have I achieved since I got stuck in this useless, defective body? Murder a defenseless child? Steal the innocence of a few more? Why couldn’t I save her? Why couldn’t I do anything right?
I felt my stomach drop. Would this happen again?
“Ssshhh…” The tip of Luna’s muzzle brushed against my head. And I cried.
I did not know how much time had passed. An hour? Three? There wasn’t a clock in sight. It didn’t matter.
Relax, breathe in. I… I can-
Breathe out.
I can never undo what I’ve done. But...
“What will happen to me?”
Luna stirred.
“...The victims of a magic surge, or their families, are compensated by the crown. The foals are not liable for any damages inflicted due to the nature of said magics and the age. For you, however, considering your age and the high chance that the Rich Family will most likely hire the best legal attorney money can buy… at best you would face a suspended sentence.”
Luna paused. Her eyes refused to meet mine.
“You may be sent to a treatment facility, Manehatten Correctional and Rehabilitation would be my first guess. You would be cared for and perhaps even learn to structure your magics.”
“I’m not going to be thrown into the dungeons?” I replied incredulously.
“Do not joke about such matters.” I shivered under Luna’s scrutinizing gaze. “You will not enjoy your stay at the correctional facility, mark my words. Our prisons are meant for healing rather than punishment, but you will not be released until they deem you safe to rejoin society.”
Images flashed before my eyes.
“No,” I replied. “What was it again?”
“I was asking how many days there are in a year.”
“Three hundred and sixty-five.” I answered.
“Not quite. Anypony else?” The teacher asked. “Yes, Diamond Tiara.”
“There are a thousand.” Her stuck up voice put my teeth on edge. “Even foals know that!”
The skin under my coat crawled.
“Now you understand the predicament you face.”
“Is there nothing I can do? I- ”
I want to die. I can’t- I won’t go! I have to get out!
“Luna, there must be something you can do! I- I can’t-” I choked back a sob that bubbled from the bottom of my throat. “I don’t want to be locked away!”
But I deserve it.
“...You can become my ward.”
Of course.
This was the logical choice. I would learn to control my magic and maybe even become used to this body someday. I had no ill will towards Luna, and I am sure she would be an excellent teacher… so why was I hesitating? I can’t go home even if I wanted to, and besides-
I burnt any bridge I was trying to build in Ponyville, anyway, so why should I stay? Being in Ponyville has brought me nothing but pain and now this...this would be a brand new start.
“I- ” I felt numb.
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” I said softly. “I accept.”
This Green is a lot more to my liking. This one chapter seem to have more character development than the last 2-3 chapters.
Interesting. I would like to see more of this alternate Green.
If there's anything I can improve on writing wise please let me know! I had a ton of fun writing this out and grilling green for his world building and characterization!
10808083
It was a bit excessive, but yeah, this.
10808097
Man we should like totally work together on a story.
10808131
and steal all of his lunch money
10808131
I know right? We would make absolute bangers 😏
Im reading like three isekai fics where the MC is now a foal in Ponyville and is dealing with DT, and it’s causing me so much confusion. And then THIS comes along to mess with me more. :)
Wow, brutal! Is it wrong of me to not feel anything for DT when she slowly died? Because in all honestly..... She kind of deserved it.... I mean... Not the dying horribly I guess... But the getting punched in the face or slammed into a tree... If she lived though that she might have learned not to bully others or face the consequences of her actions... which her being impaled on a tree was mainly her own doing.... If she would have not being bulling others she would not have died.... *shruged* I know this is no cannon but, just wanted to say that...Maybe i'm a horrible person....
Quick, fetch the copypasta!
This is pretty heavy. It's dripping with emotion and mood.
cannon ore not this was awesome ^^
green kickt twilight from the magicsurge leaderboard with this one xD
i also dont feel bad for dimond tiara, that little brat need's a wakeup call
10808201
It's going to be hard to give Diamond a wake up call, considering that's she's as dead as disco.
10808142
No kidding
I got this one messed up with "What a strange foal" more than once reading certain chapters back to back.
huh. for being non-canon it sure fits in well.
Not gonna lie... I kinda VASTLY prefer this Green and where this would be heading. Like a lot. In one chapter, it feels like there's actionable situations that are being moved, and characters are actually going somewhere, rather than the feelings I've been getting from reading this story over time of just being... stuck wading through mud.
While I've enjoyed the story, yes, I just can't help but feel that there's been so many questionable routes taken, that have just resulted in the story almost feeling like nothing is progressing, and the same character beats to keep being hit on over and over ad nauseum.
But with this? Yes, it's a tad bit excessive. Yes, it's really dark. But it hooked me! Rather quickly too! I'm honestly sad this is just a bonus chapter, but I'm happy we got to see it anyways.
10808249
I was working with him while he was writing it to make sure he got Green's character right. I think he did wonderfully.
10808254
Agreed. It made me reread earlier chapters to make sure DT hadn't died.
10808268
I had a great time working with you on that! Also, I can make a little sequel omake if people want it, I have some possible ideas of where to take this.
10808300
Wow, if you did, please take your time to do it, don't rush it out okay? It's just good to see this direction.
10808326
Of course! This chapter alone I spent more time revising and editing than writing it (which green can attest to). I always try to take my time when it comes to writing.
10808300
I'm so proud. My boy is all grown up. SEE you are a good writer godamnit!
10808361
Thanks, I think I'm just too hard on myself when it comes to writing lol
10808097
A hauntingly grim "What if?" Great work with the emotional impact and capturing both Green's desperation and Luna's empathy.
10808404
Thank you for your kind words! This goes out to everyone here! I hope I can continue to improve in the future!
Wait so did she hurt Diamond or was it just a dream?
10808422
Diamond Tiara is impaled on one of the tree's branches.
Damn... I almost wish it was cannon Luna adopted Green or something alike to that... Sure, a bit cliche, but I'd still enjoy it
10808473
stuck like the pig she is lol
10808530
Oh hey it's you! I love your story "If Wishes Were Ponies".
Thanks for the corrections. Punctuating dialogue is the bane of my existence.
Horrifying prospect, a dark future. Very well written! I'm glad green hasn't had to go through this, would wreck get emotional growth and make things oh so more tortuous. Also steal from her the chance to live as a child again, growing up into a more stable, healthy pony
10808147
She's a child very likely to have family problems. Children we can understand hating bullies, adults are expected to understand no children with decent education and a stable home would become a serious one. You're advocating traumatizing a child to solve an educational and social problem.
You're not necessarily a horrible person, just one that hasn't thought about why and how some behaviors occur, like a lot of the population. Most times horrible and aggressive behaviors have origins way beyond the ones actually having them, and unless they're adults putting the responsibility for those on their shoulders is blaming the innocent for the crimes of the guilty.
10808514
She did become better after the CMC arc, but still shows some funny rough edges.
10808602
she was never seen again after the cmc got their cutie marks
10808605
In the Epilogue episode, she looks really happy and is hanging out with Silver Spoon and Twist (someone she used to mess earlier in the seasons), and they're all having a good time.
10808608
that is fair
Whew, that’s pretty dark. But I actually wouldn’t mind seeing an extension of this alternate reality either. While I have nothing wrong with unicorns being raised or cared for by Earth ponies, I think somepony with a horn is a better bet when you’re dealing with a unicorn that can’t control their magic.
"You've heard of the Star Wars alternate reality, now get ready for..."
But, seriously, good job. Very well written.
Bad transition. Explain what just happened, don't leave readers guessing.
10808473
Yeah I know that but is it a dream or not?
And thus Luna became a mother! Happy mother's day!
10808760
Nah, a short moment of not knowing what's going on is good for tension, I think this was an excellent transition.
10808892
It's an AU going on the what-if of "what if Green's magic surge in I Do Not Like Them Anywhere was much stronger than canon?"
Green here is having a nightmare flash-back.
Heh I kinda like the idea of him becoming Luna's ward
10809136
Confusion doesn't lead to tension, it just creates frustration.
10809260
My doctor told me that fish-oil capsules help fight dry-eye. There are a couple of brands that don't smell like fish when you burp.
10809409
That is your opinion, I disagree.
10808195 My hot dog grew into a bratwurst just now!
10808216 *Alondro stands over the body, blood dripping from his slavering jaws* Nope, just blood and meat flavor!
...
Now to see if Pinkie Pie tastes like bubblegum...
10808602
To be fair, she became "better" in a contrived and unrealistic manner. . .
10810441
And Green skipped through that part of the episode because it made her angry.