//------------------------------//
// Impossible Gifts and Unknown Tales 
// Story: The Worst Equestrian Necromancer 
// by Nobodyslament 
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The private study of Princess Celestia was normally nothing less than pristine. That was not the case today. Instead of the normal visage of near-perfection that colored most of Canterlots marble towers, it was more akin to a university dorm room. Streamers from the party outside had seemed to spread into the room like a parasite, with a half-eaten cake resting on the table while a fork speared it like a sword in an ancient beast. Unbeknownst to most beings, Pinkie's special tar cake was also about as tough as an ancient beast, so the analogy was apt in more ways than one. There was also a large amount of confetti in a single corner of the room, in which Celestia and Twilight sat giggling over an old book. Twilight's voice began cutting through the laughter. "No way, he really did that?"

Celestia's melodic laughter almost redoubled. "Indeed, when Ragar first met me, he demanded an invasion of his lands." Celestia raised a hoof to her snout as she began beating back her laughter. "At the time I thought him little more than a particularly skilled batch of pranksters, I have only been happier to be proven wrong once in my life." She turned the page of the book with a flick of her hoof. "But that is much later in the story, and as a princess, I feel you should have a much fuller grasp of one of the only other immortal rulers in Equestria."

Twilight smiled. "Of course Prince- I mean, Celestia." Celestia let out a soft smile as she looked over the page they were on, giving Twilight a moment to ask questions. "So, does this journal contain every meeting you've had with Ragar?"

Celestia smiled. "No, these are simply the ones which I thought might be important or particularly amusing. I believe one of the later ones was added by Luna, but our goal is to perhaps publish them."

Only Twilight flinched as a high pitched cackling came from behind them. "Ah, Tia. Are you telling Twilight tall tales of Ragar's adventures?"

Celestia let out a short titter of laughter. "Is it Tia now Lord Ragar?" Celestia turned as Ragar's illusionary self was revealed to be reading over their shoulder. "And of course I am, every tale that involves you will inevitably be considered false, as the next chapter might show."

Ragar began fiddling with his hands. "Er, yes. Ragar may have gone through a hellion phase when he first met you..."

Celestia scoffed. "A 'hellion' phase Ragar? You stole books from my forbidden archives, and doodled in the margins! I had to spend a month cleaning them personally because normal ponies go mad reading them!"

Ragar almost flinched. "In Ragar's defense, Ragar tried to fix that. Unfortunately, Ragar could only make them cause ponies to go more insane..." Ragar paused, moving a sole finger to tap on his skull. "Which Ragar may have left on." Ragar suddenly snapped his fingers. "Yes, he did! Don't let ponies read those Princess, they may turn into scions of madness and insanity only assuaged by the smooth tones of our Lord and Savior!"

Twilight stared at Celestia as she smiled at Ragar, and found a question bubbling from her throat. "And who is that?"

Ragar paused, with his hunched stance seeming to fall slightly. "Er, Ragar had to put the entity in himself, the various dark magicks powering them demanded a stand-in. Ragar made it a joke he remembered at the time, but he can't remember, something about a carriage and a weapon... Ragar believes it was a powerful figure from long ago, now sadly lost to the ages."

Twilight glanced at Celestia, who also seemed to be curious at this new development, but put it aside. "Well Ragar, You don't need to worry. Keeping those tomes from ponies is the purpose of those archives after all. However, I must ask, for what reason have you decided to drop in today."

Ragar struck a pose, with a bony hand over his chest. "Celestia! You wound Ragar with your callous disregard for his empathy! There is a new princess and one who met Ragar before she got there. Ragar must show his utter respect for her ascension and also find a clear spot to teleport Black Sun to."

Twilight froze as Black smoke seemed to rise from the floor, a small cough began escaping from it as a light blue hoof began waving through the smoke. "Geez dad, could you not use the smoke for once?"

As the smoke faded as Black Sun slowly strode forward, waving the offensive gas out of his face. His white and black mane bobbed his head shook back and forth. The short cut of his mane making the bob seem more like a gentle wave. Ragar let out a loud bark of laughter, his bones cracking as he leaned back. "Of course not son, every villain must make a suitably dramatic entrance in order for the heroes to begin their preparations. It's in the rules!"

Twilight looked between Black Sun and Ragar. "Is it really in the rules? That seems like a rule designed to make you fail."

Ragar cackled as Black Sun managed to control his random coughs, shuffling his wings to reach under a wing. "Look Twi, don't think about what dad says too much, just sweep him under the same mental rug as Pinkie and smile, it's easier that way." Black Sun moved his head fully under his wing, pulling out a large package. "Plus dad and I have a gift for you, figured if you ever should get one, now's the time." 

He threw his head to the side, and as Twilight grappled with the packaging, Ragar leaned in towards his son. "Ragar still has no idea how you ponies can talk while holding things in your mouth." Black Sun rolled his eyes as Raga looked at him expectantly. After a frustrated groan as Twilight realized her package couldn't be opened with magic, Black Sun spoke up. "Dad, I have no idea how we do the mouth thing, it just all works somehow."

Ragar groaned in unison with Twilight, if for very different reasons. "BUT THAT MAKES NO SENSE! Ragar has studied the mystic arts, Ragar has stood against heroes of renown and villains of infamy! One time, Ragar even managed to have a calm conversation with the Smooze, and let Ragar tell you, the Smooze is no conversationalist, how can nopony know how they speak while holding something in their mouth!"

Twilight let out an annoyed scream while Black Sun turned to his father. "Look, dad, as you've said to me multiple times; There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, so go have fun."

Ragar raised a finger but stopped as his jaw hung open a moment. "Touche. However, there is a fatal flaw in your plan, Ragar is already having fun! What a twist!" Ragar began cackling causing Celestia to join in while Black Sun adopted a cocky smirk.

The giggling stopped as Twilight's horn began to glow, forcing the party to pause and look at her. She stared in concentration as the package began to glow. After a moment she stuck her tongue out in concentration, prompting Celestia to lean towards Black Sun. "I can see why you think she's cute like this."

Black Sun's face exploded into red, and as he tried to sputter a response Twilight jumped up. "It has an unbreakable charm on it, how can I open it?"

Ragar laughed. "A little princess, have you not thought of asking it?" Twilight stared at Ragar with an expression that Celestia knew was an early reaction to meeting Ragar, before a pony realized how clever he truly was. She called it Ragaric, however, it did have a more common name. Most ponies would describe it as a 'are you freaking stupid' look. Twilight rolled her eyes and looked at the gift. "Would you please open?"

The packaging rolled back quickly, revealing a book bound in a hard wooden cover. In scrawling gothic text, the title was in a foreign text, and Twilight backed away as it began rewriting itself in front of her. She read aloud as soon as she could make out the words. "Ragar's Compendium of Myths Legends, and Folklore?"

Ragar leaned in, throwing an ethereal arm over Twilight. "Of course, Black Sun was adamant you would like it. This book contains every myth Ragar could remember, whether they be from Equestria or beyond. The legends of Grogar and the Rainbow Bridge, tease that it was. Or more foreign myths, the wonders of Zeus, the epics of Gilgamesh! All there for you to be the second pony to enjoy them all!" Ragar cocked his head to Black Sun. "And maybe the first pony to enjoy them."

Black Sun smacked a hoof to his head. "DAD! Can you not! Please?"

Ragar cackled. "It is a father's sacred duty to embarrass their children. Any father worth his salt will tell you the same."

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Ragar, stop embarrassing Black Sun, and while you're at it, why didn't you ever tell me all these stories."

Ragar paused, before shrugging. "Ragar never felt the need to share the tales, as well as some of them being hard to read. Though Ragar will forever remember the epic of BEOWULF!!"

Black Sun's ear twitched, and he reared up beside his father "BEOWULF!"

Both Twilight and Celestia stared as Black Sun slowly lowered himself to the floor. Silence reigned as Twilight looked between Ragar, Black Sun, and the book. After a moment of this silent staredown, the book was whipped open, as Twilight began muttering the word Beowulf over and over. When Celestia looked to Ragar to which he simply looked back. There was a tentative pause as if both parties had something they wanted to say before Ragar spoke. "Beowolf." And with that, his image disappeared.

Black Sun looked between where Ragar was and Celestia stood before sighing. "I swear, he's just a stupid teenager whenever you're around."