Celestia was happily relaxing on her bed reading a novel Ragar had found. He had been sending interesting books to her often enough that the skeletal bird had even learned how to stay together when passing through her wards - which was slightly concerning, even if it was easier on her mane. It was currently sitting beside Philomena, quietly chirping with the phoenix.
Celestia hummed a private tune in her head while she enjoyed the strange story Ragar had sent to her. Floating islands, new magic, and blades of light; such fancy was to be applauded - and published if she had any say. And since she was a princess, she most certainly had a say. Ragar had even hinted at sequels! If each one could live up to what she was reading now, they would sell very well. She happily turned a page as a piano song began wafting from the orb in the corner. She smiled as her horn sent a mote of light towards it and Black Sun’s image formed. "Hello, little one. How are you doing?"
The colt put a hoof up to his lips. His horn had grown enough to poke out of his wild mane, and he seemed a fair bit taller - though it was always hard to judge size through the orb’s image. Black Sun normally stayed in the background, only rarely speaking to her during her calls with Ragar; despite his excitable nature, he was a quiet colt. He leaned towards the orb, making his head appear huge, and whispered, "Dad doesn't like to show off, Ms. Tia, but I think you'll love this. Check it out."
Celestia smiled at the familiarity before she heard the soft tones of a piano beginning its song. She listened as the keys marched to their master's cadence - and then she heard somepony sing
The orb shifted and brought Ragar into view, his fingers working an invisible piano. His voice was no longer the high-pitched joke that she was familiar with; instead it was deep, thick with what felt like forced joy. Like a performer trying to make a depressed audience feel better. She let her head bounce back and forth while listening intently. The song seemed to be about a bar, one that would be indistinguishable from any other bar in Equestria - but the song made the bar unique.
She wanted to write it down, to commit the song to her memory, but it wasn't hers. It was Ragar's, and he wasn't choosing to share it. She closed her eyes and relaxed, simply letting the song wash over her. Different people, different ideals, all brought together by a ratty old bar and a piano. It seemed poetic, how everypony could gather in one place and be equals; they were lost and confused, but together through it all. As the last notes of the song faded away, she opened her eyes to see the necromancer leaning back and letting out a sigh. He said something then, but it was lost in the shuffle of the orb being moved again. She heard Black Sun's whisper. "Yeah, dad does that every year. I don't know why, but the song's really pretty."
Celestia waited as the colt moved the orb back to what she assumed was its original location and his head went back to its normal size. "I thought you might like to hear it. He can play lots of songs! He even plays songs for me when I get scared."
Celestia smiled at the young colt. "Really? What songs does he play?"
The colt scratched his head. "I dunno, there's the one about being evil. It's funny. Oh, and there’s one about a bandit. But that one makes me sad, so he normally only plays it after I fall asleep. I hear it sometimes when I go to the bathroom."
Celestia nodded; she had never thought of Ragar as a musician. She was frankly surprised that a creature she had known for centuries could still surprise her. Many things that she had learned about him over the years didn't match others. It was like trying to put together a puzzle from several different sets of pieces. She suspected Ragar would enjoy that image; he seemed to enjoy the persona he had cultivated. "He is a very skilled musician. Perhaps you could convince him to play for me?"
Then she heard Ragar's high pitched voice cutting through the whispered conversation. "Of course Ragar would play for the princess, though young Black Sun has some explaining to do."
The princess let out a giggle as Black Sun tripped, fell, and promptly ran out of the room. Ragar looked at his fleeing son before laughing. "NYEHEHEHEHE. Such a lively boy, even when he does something I disapprove of. Anyways, I would gladly play for you, princess, but only if you ever manage to get to my lair."
Celestia was disappointed; she still hadn’t been able to find the hint that Black Sun had said would lead her to Ragar’s lair. It was almost certainly there; Black Sun had been quickly taught that the only thing Ragar didn't have any tolerance for was lying. She nodded. "One day I shall make it to your lair, Ragar, and when I do I expect a full concert."
Ragar beamed. "Of course, princess. After capturing the EVILEST NECROMANCER, it only seems fair. Ragar shall begin selecting songs now. Also, the last group of heroes just left. That purple pegasus was very fast; she beat almost half of the challenges on her own! Ragar has recorded the event. Would you like a copy of the crystal?"
Celestia's ears perked at this; though she’d known he had recorded the first group, he hadn’t mentioned doing so since then. Had he been recording all of the trials? That would be wonderous to watch, especially if she could get the backlog. "Yes, I would be interested in any crystals that show how my little ponies have been facing your trials."
Ragar rattled his jaw bones in his odd little chuckle. "Of course! Ragar shall deliver all his spare recordings to you. My courier shall be at your window tomorrow. Probably around noon, he is a lazy bird, but a good friend. Please do not hurt him."
She let out a giggle. "I shall warn the guards first thing in the morning. Is there anything you require of me?"
Ragar thought about this. "Yes. Ragar needs more books for Black Sun's schooling. Ragar tries to take him to town for socializing, but going to school every day has proven too... difficult."
Celestia nodded at this; the report she’d received of an army of skeletons invading a school suddenly made a lot more sense. She’d have to handle that tomorrow. "Of course. Also, the new Starswirl stories came out last week; I'll package them as well."
Ragar's eyes literally lit up with a blood-red glow. "YEEEESSSSS!!!! Ragar will have his books. You are the best! Ragar shall send the nice crystal monitor with the viewing crystals. You can count the feathers on a wing with it!"
Celestia smiled. Ragar had an odd penchant for historical fiction, especially if it had magical adventures in it. Starswirl traveling dimensions seemed to hold his undying love - pun intended. She looked at the clock and her smile dropped. "I apologize, Ragar, but I simply must be getting to bed. I hope to speak with you soon."
Ragar nodded. "Of course. Ragar should finish what he was doing anyway. This is the first time it was interrupted in centuries. Also, he must remind Black Sun of his bedtime. It was AN HOUR AGO!!" With that, the call ended, and Celestia put her book to the side. She had a lot on her plate tomorrow.
She ended up getting very little of it done; Ragar’s messenger - a giant skeletal pterodactyl - caused panic throughout Canterlot when it arrived, though it was hard to be too mad at him for it. It had been delivering gifts, after all.
amazing
You are the most wonderful person ever for writing this. I love this fiction so much.
Billy Joel? This guy's been in Equestria for How many millennia and still remembers songs from his home plane? He must be one of the most balanced "mortal" immortals I've ever seen! This provokes so many questions!
8993127
You're most welcome.
those two really need to go on a date even if it doesn't go ware it would still be nice
8993144
The other two are songs here as well. When you're evil and the highwayman if you're curious.
8993155
Well "When you're evil" was a forgone conclusion as soon as he started singing terrestrial songs, wasn't it? I'm really loving this story, it started out as some silly Papyrus insert, but this things gaining some really excellent depth! I can't wait to see where this goes, one wonders what Ragar will do when the thousandth summer sun celebration rolls around...
8993144
I'd hardly call this guy 'balanced.'
8993176
Probably watch it while laughing like a madman. Or ignore it since it has nothing to do with the glories of his latest lair.
8993179
I think he meant as in sane.
8993179
After "living" for however many tens of thousands of years? He's doing amazingly well for himself.
OMNI:Help I can't say his name as Ragar whenever I read his name I read it as Ragnar *sigh*
Ah Billy Joel. Always nice to see a touch of his music in fics.
Hey thanks for making this ti always bring a smile and makes me laugh
I am wondering if Ragnar is trying to help distract Celestia from what she had to do to Luna.
This fic is too god damn good. Please never stop.
Oh I love Ragar. And ha! He sent her Star Wars redone for Equestria. Celestia really needs to capture this boney mane and claim him for her own. Its been quite wonderful to see her so comforted by this being with everything that went on with Luna.
Looking forward to seeing what happens when Black Sun grows up! Should be some interesting adventures until the dawn of the series!
8993146
A great series--I was wise to add this to my Favorites and hope you'll write many more chapters.
I am love-love-loving this fic so very much.
I liked the fluffiness in this chapter, and I for one will be awaiting for your next release.
Have a nice day!
8993155
Voltaire and Cash?
8993325
Eyup
I...I can't pick a favorite line, or part. It just- it's all amazing. I was giggling the whole time. I don't know what it is about this story, but something just makes it absolutely incredible. Thanks for making this a thing. It is definitely one of the better things I've ever seen
We need to see this little pony practicing his evil laugh.
That would be the first i thought his singing voice would be like
Any time I get reminded of Piano Man is a good time.
Noice
I have only this to say to you
Thank you
8993469
Still one of the funniest endings to a game for me
No offence, I like Billy Joel. But I think the song about bar that Ragar would play to Celestia should be this one. The lyric 'So let’s set the world on fire. We can burn brighter than the sun' should spook Celestia a bit.
8993155
The Highwayman really? I just found that song today. What a coincidence.
A funny song about being evil? Got to be Voltaire
Got an ad about this story while reading this chapter. That was neat.
Also, RAGAR, UNDYING MASTER OF EVIL! has great taste in music.
Moved to favourites... I have the biggest grin listening to piano man right now.
Reading this story makes me feel like I'm wrapped in a blanket. EVIL blankets! MWHAHAHA!
I love this story.
This is too precious
I really hope this doesn’t turn out to have some tragic ending or anything. That would kinda suck. XD
8994326
It does have a twist at the end, and I've obviously chosen not to tag the things that would ruin it. I'll just let your imagination go wild though. : )
I just sang Piano Man to my son as a lullaby. So seeing it referenced here was awesome.
Also, keep up the good work, i dont think ive been this entertained by a story since The Weed
Is that evil song... This one?
8993777
darn it, You beat me to it
Wait, is Celestia reading Star Wars?!
8994669
Maybe. Totally stolen idea from the series about Blank Page. I didn't feel bad since it's just a throw-away gag.
Love it!
my new favourite book
Anyone else tend to read Ragar with the Jack Septic Eye Papyrus voice?
8995544
you get a plus 1 internet from me. buuuuuuuuuutttttt.
This seems more appropriate.
Haven't smiled this hard in a long, looong time. Thanks for that.
8994364
Oh I think I understand, that is brilliant
He has a dinosaur? AWESOME!
Piano Man by Billy Joe... When you’re Evil by Voltaire... what’s the bandit one?