Twilight Sparkle grunted as she rolled over in her bed. She was awake, but there were a couple reasons she didn't want to actually greet the day. One, her alarm clock hadn't gone off yet. While the little piece of clockwork was often her mortal nemesis, it was stalwart in its purpose to wake her up exactly on schedule; the only thing worse than getting out of bed was getting out of bed early. Two, the sun wasn't shining through her window; the only light seeping through her eyelids was the flickering glow of torches. She thought about that for a moment, wondering why there would be torchlight in her little Ponyville library.
Her eyes snapped open as she added ‘getting out of bed somewhere different than where you went to sleep’ to the list.
She was, sadly, not in her home. The first hint to this was the torches mounted on the stone walls. The second clue was the jail cell her entire bed was in. She bolted up, staring at her surroundings. The cell was large. Large enough for six beds to fit inside it comfortably. Twilight looked in horror at each of the beds in the room. The soft silks of Rarity's sheets caught her eye before the rough cotton of Applejack’s quilt distracted her. Sure enough, every single one of her best friends was stuck in the cell with her.
She did the first thing that popped into her mind and screamed. Her friends all scrambled awake, falling from their beds and in one case, flying straight up and hitting the ceiling with such force the stone cracked. Rainbow's voice broke through the silence that invaded the room. "What the buck, my house doesn't have a stone roof."
The friends didn't speak as they took note of their cell, instead falling into the habits gleaned from fighting evil for the past few years. Fluttershy silently hid behind Rainbow, looking over her head as Twilight ran a few diagnostic spells. Applejack began poking at the walls as Rarity inspected the bars. When they all finished their inspection Twilight broke the silence. "We're locked in with dark magic, but it's weak. There's enough Solar magic wherever we are that I could probably break it in a few minutes, but the pony that cast it would know as soon as I started."
A voice seemed to come from the ceiling. "If they were half the wizard Ragar was, they would feel it when you started the diagnostic!" There was a pause as Twilight looked around in abject horror before a cough came from the ceiling, followed by a skull sinking through the solid stone. "Erm, also if you could play along for the next hour or so, Ragar would be most appreciative. Hearthswarming for Canterlot is on the line."
The ponies stared in confusion as Ragar's head spun around, looking at each of them. After a moment he spoke again. "Could you all move together, Ragar can't decide who to look at."
The group all slowly moved to center on Twilight, who was still focused on the idea of one of her mentor’s oldest friends kidnapping her. "Ragar, you can't just kidnap us for no reason!"
Ragar's skull nodded. "Of course not! Ragar kidnapped you to save Hearthswarming. The fact that Ragar is the one who stole it has no bearing on the matter. Fear not! A warrior foretold by legend will arrive soon to free you. Also, there are fake versions of your elements under each of your beds. If you would kindly put them on, the warrior will be here soon; Ragar must prepare his final boss room for your arrival. Ragar put it off for far too long, and Black Sun has been less than helpful after I told him I put you all in a cell. He is grumpy about missing some meeting this morning."
Twilight stared at the skeleton. "He was meeting me for breakfast! We were going to head to Canterlot this afternoon and meet with Celestia!"
Ragar paused. "Oh, well then Ragar has saved you the train fare, as we're already in Canterlot! Ragar's plans are even more brilliant than he thought!" The skull ascended through the roof, with his trademark laugh following behind him.
Applejack leaned into Twilight's ear. "Erm, Sugarcube? Did that there mess of bones just say he stole Hearthswarming?"
Twilight slapped a hoof to her face. "Yes, he did. Everyone, just... play along. Ragar is mostly harmless. He just does things without thinking."
Fluttershy moved to her bed, reaching under it for the false version of her element. "Is he the one who makes those theme parks scattered around Equestria? I think I remember visiting the Zoo of Ragar when I was younger."
Rarity was the one to answer, surprising the rest of the group. "Oh yes, Darling. The nobility has all sorts of theories about him. If the rumors are to be believed, he's an immortal like Celestia, but nobody knows the details. Rumors ranging from him being a scorned lover to a secretive warlord fly around the palace with more regularity than the guards."
Twilight stared at Rarity before shaking her head, dispelling the fact she had never heard those rumors during her time in Canterlot. "Er, yes. He also apparently has Celestia's permission to study black magic. Also, I think he's completely insane, if harmlessly so. Some ponies claim otherwise, but I don't buy it."
Applejack shrugged, grabbing her own fake from its spot. "Well then, guess it can't hurt to play along. Who do you figure this lost warrior is?"
Before any of the group could voice their thoughts, hoofsteps began to sound through the hall. A young voice cut through the dungeon. "Stupid dad, going away on a business trip, stupid wizard stealing stupid Hearthswarming when I don't even get to celebrate. Why do I have to be the stupid hero to save it?"
The girls paused at the young voice before moving to the cell bars, looking down the hallway to find the foal who was obviously the hero Ragar had mentioned. They saw a simple colt with mustard-colored fur and orange mane grumbling as he walked down the hallway. Rarity was the first to act, catching on to Ragar's plan as soon as she saw the foal frowning at the floor. "Oh my! We're saved, the hero has finally arrived!"
The foal froze, staring at the cell. His eyes seemed to widen, staring at the famous heroes of Equestria. "YOU'RE THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY! OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH. YOU GUYS BEAT DISCORD!" He began making complicated hoof gestures while sitting down. "HE WAS ALL LIKE RAWR AND THEN YOU WENT PEW PEW AND SHOT HIM WITH A FRIENDSHIP LASER!"
Rainbow Dash smiled, hovering behind the bars. "Yeah, that's totally us. But we're kinda on a schedule kid. Think you could let us out real quick?"
The foal nodded. "YEAH!" He sprinted up to the cell, pulling it open while smiling like a madmare. He was jumping in place by the time the mares walked out and nearly fell when Pinkie began matching his jumps to look him in the eyes. "HI I'M PINKIE PIE, ARE YOU HERE TO HELP US BEAT THE MEANIE WHO STOLE HEARTHSWARMING?"
The foal nodded, keeping his bounces in rhythm with the pink pony. "UH-HUH, I'M GILDED CROWN! I GOT VISITED BY A GHOST WHO TOLD ME TO SAVE HEARTHSWARMING AND SENT ME DOWN HERE!"
Pinkie Pie nodded. "So you know what way to go then?"
Crown nodded. "YEAH, C'MON!!" with that, he ran down the hallway, with the six mares following closely behind. They had very few interruptions; the only thing that even tried to stop them were badly painted cardboard cutouts in the shape of Windigos. However, the final door did stump them. Crown stared at it with a grimace. "Oh come on! There's not even a handle!"
Twilight paused as the whispered voice of Ragar seemed to come from right beside her. "Only the Hero of Hearthswarming could ever open that door. One who truly knows that Hearthswarming is inside the heart, not the decorations."
Twilight looked around, seeing only empty air, before she fully caught on to what Ragar said. With a meaningful nudge at Rainbow Dash she sat down. "Oh no, without the decorations, Hearthswarming is ruined!"
Rainbow looked between Twilight and the door for a minute, before playing along. "Yeah, I bet the awesome new Scooter I got for Scootaloo is still in there too!"
AppleJack looked at them confused, before finally getting the hint. "How can I celebrate Hearthswarming without the Apple family fruitcake recipe?"
Rarity went into the act fetlock deep, swooning backward into Twilight's hooves. "Why, without my newest outfits, however will I make Hearthswarming truly memorable?!"
Fluttershy didn't say anything, instead looking dejectedly at the floor. Seeing his heroes losing hope, Crown did the only thing a foal could; try to make them feel better. "That's not true at all." He moved to the door, pushing it as hard as he could. "As long as we keep trying, we can't lose. Besides, Hearthswarming is about being friends, all the gifts and stuff aren't important! It's about being with people you love!" The door moved an inch, and his grin exploded. "See, if we all work together we can open this door super-easy!"
Twilight moved Rarity aside and began pushing beside him. "You're right, Crown. As long as we hold Hearthswarming deep in our hearts, it'll be there forever." The other mares moved forward, each one opening the door more and more until finally the door creaked open. Revealing the most decorated room to ever exist.
Every single decoration from the city of Canterlot was festooned about the room. Hearthswarming logs were stacked to the ceiling of the vaulted chamber, tinsel covered every inch of the walls, and stacks of gifts covered the entire floor except for a small path that led to a lone figure in the center of the room. It was a pony with pure green hair making up his spiky mane, the red and white suit covering his midriff a jarring contrast to the rest of him. He was smiling a devilish grin as he looked over his haul. When he spoke it was in a dulcet tone that would have been beautiful if not for the sinister edge it carried. "I've done it! All of Hearthswarming is here. Without all the decorations, I won't have to deal with all those incessant noises they make! The ringing bells, the happy cheers, those stupid carols that flood from the streets into my marvelously miserable home."
Crown didn't seem to need the hint, and cleared his throat. "The fire of friendship lives in our hearts. As long as it burns, we cannot drift apart. Though quarrels arise, their numbers are few, laughter and singing will see us through. We are a circle of pony friends. A circle of friends we'll be to the very end."
The figure turned, staring at the group with malice in his eyes. "Foolish foal, with all these Hearthswarming decorations I am to powerful for even the Elements to stop! I, Gragar, am unbeatable!"
Suddenly, from vents barely visible through the tinsel, a tune came out. "As dawn shines on us every morn. The fire of friendship is reborn, and all the friendships we have made. We cherish in every way."
'Gragar' paused, looking to the vents. "Impossible, without the decorations and gifts Hearthswarming is cancelled! How could they possibly be singing?"
"Loyalty binds us and makes us strong
Honesty shows that we belong
And kindness shared will unite us through each day
The fire of friendship lives in our hearts
As long as it burns, we cannot drift apart
Though quarrels arise, their numbers are few
Laughter and singing will see us... through"
Twilight stepped up, smirking. "You’re wrong, Gragar. Hearthswarming isn't about all those silly gifts and decorations. Gilded Crown showed us the truth."
Gilded Crown’s eyes grew three sizes as he stared at his hero. Rainbow Dash flew up, her element appearing to glow. "Yeah, Hearthswarming is all about friends and family, and as long as we have all that, you can't stop us."
Gilded watched as all of the fake elements began glowing. The looked at the elements with confusion for a moment before they all grinned at each other, getting into position as if they were about to use their actual relics. Rarity was the one to deliver the finishing line. "And with our new friend, we can put an end to your evil deeds!"
And with that, the elements fired. A magical beam of rainbow energy flew from the young ponies, hitting Gragar full force. As the energy flew into him he let out a shriek. "NOOOOO!" The energy faded, leaving an apparently unharmed Gragar in their wake - at least, until a rainbow-tinted pool started spreading from his hooves. "Ah, I'm melting! My pure evilosity has been used against me for dramatic purposes." He began flailing as he collapsed into goo. "If only I had accepted the magic of Hearthswarming! Or moved someplace else. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?" Finally, his head sank into the pool. The six mares and colt stared for a moment before the voice called out one more time. "Blarg, I am dead."
The group jumped as yet another gust of rainbow flew through the chamber, causing all the decorations to fly from the room; when the holiday torrent died down, a very worried stallion was left in their place. He looked back and forth desperately before his eyes fell on Gilded Crown. "Crown?" Before the mares even had time to comment the stallion ran towards the colt, sliding to a stop with a hug. "I heard you went on some quest to stop some creature who stole the town's decorations! And then I couldn't find you. I swear to Celestia I'm not leaving you alone ever again!"
Twilight smiled as a soft sob came from behind her. She wasn't even surprised to see the face of 'Gragar' behind her. The green fur slowly faded, leaving only a blank skull. A napkin was held in a bony hand, dabbing at the dry skull. "Ragar loves happy endings."
Twilight smiled, tapping the skull with a hoof. "Me too, Ragar. Happy Hearthswarming."
Ragar nodded. "And a Merry Christmas to you too. Ragar is glad you played along, and when you meet Black Sun he has gifts for all of you from Ragar." Twilight raised an eyebrow, but before she could comment Ragar left.
She smiled as the rest of her friends walked up to introduce themselves to the stallion holding their new friend. After a moment she realized something. "What's Christmas?"
Be sure to be firm with those shakes, don't want to come across as insincere.
Nice
I love that guy
D’aww
Ugh, why can't I upvote every chapter, this is too good for just one like.
What a literally Hallmark Christmas, er Gilded Crown Hearthswarming moment.
goodlogo.com/images/logos/hallmark_logo_2515.gif
Yep. Let Ragar be a model for anyone who wakes up one day as an overpowered whacko in horseworld. Make the entire world believe you are harmlessly insane.
The title almost made me think, you were going to do a musical parody of Skeletor's Christmas.
Good fun chapter regardless, Ragar is the villain Equestria needs and deserves XD.
Ay you forgot the best holiday of them all... Festivus.
Totally awesome!
Ragar reminds me of Brooks from one piece. I keep imagining them with the same laugh. Lol
Have a merry Christmas dude!
If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?
>The looked at the elements with confusion for a moment before they all grinned at each other
They*
Wonderfully cheesy as usual, great stuff. Happy holidays
Merry Christmas Ragar
9360476
Ragar is classic Skeletor, ez. Black Sun as a colt is straight up Kevin from home-alone, but adult Black Sun is definitely Tobey Macguire.
Very nice
How very Grinch, Ragar. Grinch Ragar...Gragar...damn it.
Cheese is my favourite food.
This comment has no relation to this story, what are you talking about.
9360385
*then you make them all pay at the end when you're ACTUALLY harmfully insane and destroy everything because no one was able to stop you*
9360625
Eh, boring. The cliche of sitting on a throne of bones on a dead world, stagnant, ruined world is great as an 'or else' indicator, but in effect it's like, the guy sitting there is probably bored out of his wits, looking to do it again, and getting into something of a cycle where nothing is really satisfying anymore. Basically turning panocide into a 9-5 job you don't really like.
I think Ragar has the right idea. He actually could probably destroy the world if he set his mind to it (most competent necromancers would actually be nigh on unstoppable without a macguffin), but things that are dead are things that don't change. Things that don't change are boring. Gotta have something to keep you entertained, and the living (or at least independently animate) are far more entertaining than otherwise.
Christian Yule.
BAHAHA! XD Lovely homage to the Hearthswarming specials and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (and a slight call-out to The Wizard of Oz.) Oh, Ragar, you're freaking adorable.
Your family has fascinating traditions. XD MERRY CHRISTMAS!
That was so wonderfully cheesy my lactose intolerance kicked in
Behold, there is now human culture in Equestria!
*tries to go to the next chapter*
Nooooooo! My update immunity has expired! The dreaded wait time is here! Curses!
... DAMMIT RAGAR, you ruined a potentially romantic day
I love Ragar capturing the Elements, and them playing along to make it such a wonderful experience for the kid!
Why distracted? She never seen quilt before?
I can't help but imagine Gragar is just Ragar wearing a shitty plastic Grinch mask. The mental image is just too funny,
I really don't wanna be THAT GUY, but, it's spelled Kwanzaa.
Google Quanza and Urban Dictionary says that it's something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
Aside from that, great story so far!
When Ragar proclaimed the Elements to be fake were they merely Jewelry enchanted with illusion magic, or were they the real thing because Ragar had another experiment hiding in his holiday special?
9360445
Thank you for introducing my new favourite Christmas music!
So we have confirmation that Ragar isn't a native.
9361028 could be it appealed or clashed with her fashion sense its hard to guess
there is but one thing to say.
YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
9361674
We've had confirmation that he isn't a native tho..
- best acting award goes tooo..RAGAR! of man titales
instead of a skeletor X-mas parody, I was expecting a bit more grinch-ness to the act (and enough rhyming to annoy zecorra >;3 )
...
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* SO CUTE!!!
Ah, the trolling is glorious again. I like the fact that there wasn't even any suspense on their part. :P
Well, there's a fair chance he's truly good; he's too competent not to have taken over already, given he detected Twi poking at the wards...
Man, I was smiling throughout this chapter harder than I've smiled in a long time! I love ragar.
-Some guy who writes horse words
9364032
Das me!
This is the best holiday chapter ever.
9364350
I like the Halloween one better, but my insomnia is making me write, so another chapter should come in a week or two.
9364372
Ooo, chapter spoilers. I like it.
Maybe I should have worded it as the best Hearths Warming/ Christmas chapter. Then again I'm biased to Ragar being a dork
9364404
Possible. I actually thought it was weak myself. I had a grand plan, but.when I wrote it fully out it didn't have enough spooky boi.
9364407
I thought it was fun in a creepy way. I just try not to comment on everything when I'm behind
9364410
No worries. My biggest issue with this one has been shooting for the sky and somehow tunneling. Lots of the chapters are unrecognizable from draft one
9364416
Not a bad thing; drafts are good for establishing and editing. Long as you're happy with the outcome, than good on the drafts for establishing the consistency.
Cute!
These are good horsewords. It’s all silly and pointless, but Ragar has a lot of heart for a skeleton.
I laughed.
Out loud.
At work.