An ongoing collection of stories and poems too short for standalone FIMFic publication. NOT a scraps file — there are some contest winners in here! Contents, newest first:

The Pony Door [Crossover] – A cult leader, in their pursuit of secret truths, makes a startling discovery about the goddess(es) they are chasing. (8/2021)
Retirees [Drama] – Celestia and Luna have a plan for their post-princess days. Fifth place, "Through A Mirror Brightly" Writeoff! (3/2019)
The Shipper Is: IN [Random] [Romance] – Discord takes advantage of Cadance's metaromantic powers.
The Illusion Of Choice, Or Vice Versa [Drama] – A prodigious filly struggles with the burden of high expectations. Finalist, "Illusion of Choice" Writeoff! (10/2015)
Moon Bright [Slice of Life] – Two isolated farmers try to figure out how to react to Princess Luna's return. Third place, "The Morning After" Writeoff! (12/2016)
We Only Live Twice [Slice of Life] – When Bon Bon walked into her own funeral, that didn't shock us nearly so much as Lyra walking in alongside her. Tenth place, "It's Your Funeral" Writeoff (3/2016)
Charlotte's Goop [AU] [Crossover] [Comedy] – A changeling queen is leaving messages on Applejack's barn about her farm animals.
F=MC^2 [Alternate Universe] – The great and terrible road to the Manehattan Project.
Through The Fire And Flames [Random] [Comedy] [Equestria Girls] – Blue Oyster has a fever, and the only cure is a brainless minific.
The Slow Fall of an Unfamiliar Star [Sad] [Romance] [Human] – Sunset watches a sunset, alone with her memories. Eighth place, "Just Over The Horizon" writeoff (10/2014)
Eponalepsis [Slice of Life] [Far Future] – The immortals gather at Celestia's end, and debate forgiveness. 22nd place, "Famous Last Words" writeoff. "Highly Recommended" by Present Perfect! (8/2014)
Why I Left [Human] – A chance encounter at a failed pony convention. Eighth place, "Long Way Home" writeoff (6/2014)
Torn, Discarded Pages From An Old Notebook [Romance] [Adventure] – A young Twilight Sparkle writes about the adventures of a pony who is completely made up and imaginary. First place winner in the Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder badfic contest! "Highly Recommended" by Present Perfect! (6/2014)
You, Ms. Harshwhinny, And A Pair Of Cougars Go On A Double Date [Random] – what
Night Mare's Party [Filk] – Luna's transformation vs. Oingo Boingo.
Alicornication [Filk] – Twilight Sparkle's ascension vs. the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
On Alicorn Fiction [Slice of Life] – Twilight has found plenty of nonfiction for her collection of Celestia's writings, but she's having a hard time finding any novels.
Deleted Scenes [Comedy] – Celestia introduces Luna to movies.
War Averted [Alternate Universe] – Cadence solves a problem.
From The Stars [Adventure] [Poem] – When a star falls upon ancient Equestria, a filly journeys to save what remains of her tribe.
Breaking The News [Comedy] – Ponyville prepares for disaster. (Published in the Everfree NW 2013 conbook!)

Hooray Animals! Sunset Shimmer sees all the animals! She is very happy to see all the animals.

Today she went to the zoo with her best friend New Twilight! They had a lot of fun! Come read about their funs!

Sunset Shimmer had a great time!

This story is tagged Dark Comedy. I mean it.

Why would you think this is an Adventure Clyde story? That would be silly! This is a Friendship Is Magic fanfic site!

What this IS, is a story about Twilight Sparkle and the young dragon she has an ill-defined pseudomaternal relationship with. He happens to write stories. Some of those stories might happen to be about the Alicorn of Adventure, but be that as it may, this is a character drama in which our protagonist Twilight Sparkle must struggle with Spike's first exposure to the complex legal and ethical minefields of consensuality in adult relationships.

Okay, maybe this is also a literary deconstruction and reconstruction of "Adventure Clyde" (incl. tumblr and associated reviews and written works), reconciling his existence with My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic canon, while staying faithful to the My Little Pony universe and offering subtle and profound observations into the nature of scientific rationality, Freudian psychological analysis, and oranges. But we all like literary deconstruction, right?

Right?

*crickets*

Now with a dramatic reading by Present Perfect and ShadowOfCygnus!

REVIEWERS AND ELLIPSES WARN YOU AWAY:

"This story is egregious serial nonsense. (…) I think I … hated it. (…) It isn’t great literature. (…) Recommended." — Titanium Dragon

"My god (...) No." — Present Perfect (Highly Recommended)

"(...) a terrible mess (...)" — Bad Horse (Recommended)

OTHER ACTUAL WORDS SPOKEN BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE ACTUALLY READ IT:

"Oh man. (...) bad (...)" —Protopony350
"(...) by god (...)" —Skeeter the Lurker
"(...) weeping (...)" —Orbiting Kettle
"I have no idea what the hell (...) I fear for my well-being (...)" —Skywriter

THE PRAISE FOR "THIS IS NOT AN ADVENTURE CLYDE ADVENTURE" WHICH GOT THE STORY REJECTED BY FIMFIC MODERATION UNTIL I CENSORED DUBS:

[6:19:06 PM] horizon: Hey guys! Can I get a blurb for my upcoming story?
[6:20:08 PM] Zaponator: "Literally the best thing I've ever read. A true piece of art that puts to shame any written work before it, and will likely stand as a great unconquered titan for any work after it. 7/10 —IGN.com"
[6:20:41 PM] Dubs_Rewatcher: HOLY S**T
[6:21:03 PM] Haze: and this is how Displaced became canon

Adventure Clyde™ is a registered service mark of Protopony350 Industries, Ltd.

It's a normal day in Ponyville, and Fluttershy decides to visit Sweet Apple Acres to get some apples for a dish for Angel Bunny. Little does she know that something horrible is in that apple.

Twilight Sparkle drinks tea, but feels deeply uncomfortable. You will too, if you read this story, or if you ride on a bicycle for too long, or if you are hairy and have to pull a band-aid off.

Then other things happen, as she experiences random shenanigans, including sun spots and thimbles.

Also ants.

Bat ponies. They are a part of Equestria just as much as any earth pony, unicorn, pegasus or alicorn. They make up Princess Luna's guard. But not much is known about them. Where did these ponies come from? Who were they before? One ancient tome, penned by an explorer of a time long past, tells all.

Many, many thanks to my friend DangerCloseArt for suggesting that I do a story about bat ponies. Many thanks also to my friends Kirito-Persona, Alicorn Airport, and Protopony350 for being my pre-readers. And many thanks also go to Will-Owl-the-Wisp for being a pre-reader and editor, and for the phenomenal cover art. You can find the original here.

The legends of Equestria are numerous so--
Alicorns, dragons, gryphons, and zebras, yea!
But there is one more than all ponies know,
One that will ever remain their ultimate prey.

One seeks the sea's dry on the moon's midday,
But this fable chooses to whom itself to show:
Noöne is more taxed and unfortunate than they
Who had tried this gift themselves to bestow.

Now the adventures of a colt we shall follow,
One who chanced upon such a treat one day--
Then he was on a journey with his new mæstro
Wherein wisdom to circulate was given away.

What, the question gœs, is this magical thing?
Why, it's the Blue Rose-- greater than any king!

Preread by Shinzakura and approved by Eldorado. Thanks, mates!

Reviewed by PaulAsaran.

Reviewed by Winter_Solstice (via Rage Reviews!).

Author's Note: This story was written when an earlier version of Night Terrors was posted on this site. This story will be updated sometime in the near future to better reflect the events that transpire in the current version of Night Terrors. In the meantime, enjoy!

It has been two weeks after Misty’s harrowing events in the Never, also known as the land of dreams, and she has yet to find an answer as to what threatened it. Her desperation and frustration grow with every passing day. So when she is invited by a friend to a carnival, will Misty take the time to go? And could she set aside her fears and doubts long enough to enjoy it once she arrived?

Many, many thanks to Will-Owl-the-Wisp for helping with research and for being my collaborator.

The job of a mailpony is a tough one, and is filled with challenges at every stop. Whether it be a broken mailbox, or an unruly dog, Booko Stamps has handled them with the utmost of ease.

How then, will he handle being thrown into the void between dimensions? The postal worker's creed covers inclement weather and the basic danger of the job, but it said nothing of 'inter-dimensional flying fish-beasts'.

Booko will aim to change that when all is said and done...

If only he could make it home first.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My entry for the May Writeoff: I Regret Nothing.

Thanks to Proto for gracing the original version with your glorious eyeballs of pre-reading! :D

Princess Celestia finds an iPhone, and, like most intelligent creatures, when given a smartphone, she proceeds to take a picture of herself with it.

I only did this because nobody else seems to have done it - to the best of my knowledge, that is! The soundtrack for this fic is '#Selfie" by The Chain Smokers. Enjoy. I know I certainly did.

#oneshot
#silly
#selfie