Hi. My name's James. If you're reading this, then one of two things have happened. One, you're another human that got sent to this shit hole and was able to find my shelter. Or two, you're one of the ponies that found me and I'm probably rotting in a cell or getting experimented on. If the former, good luck. If the later, go fuck yourself.

Killing the undead. Those three words accurately summed Barry's life. After all, his plant army was practically built for it. The remaining weeks of the zombie apocalypse was a breeze. But now that it's all over, Barry finds himself to be unsatisfied with his life. That is, until he buys a magical amulet from Crazy Dave.

Now, Barry is trapped in a strange land where he makes unexpected enemies. Can Barry defend his pride and himself?

(A Plants vs Zombies Crossover)

You've been waiting all month for this. A day off. A trip to your secret spot in the Everfree Forest. Nothing but you, the fish, and your cider. Truly, there is nothing more you could ask for.

So why do Twilight and friends have to bother you so much?!

This story is a sequel to Error 503

Error 504: Gateway Timeout

A story was once told of a group of Anons displaced from reality. As their very existences needed a bit of time to re-calibrate, they found solace in the company of each other. However, unbeknownst to them, they were not the only ones experiencing a fatal, reality-ending error. For while they merrily gave each other silly names and drove themselves mad over the course of an excruciatingly long eight minutes, their wives were also having an accidental meet-up.

And it was much more awkward.

Error 503: Service Unavailable.

The fabric of reality is currently undergoing maintenance, leaving Anon, Anon, and... a lot of other Anons trapped in a white void. With no other ways to kill time, their only means of entertainment while they wait to be returned to their worlds is each other.

What do Anons even do in their spare time?

The war is finally over. We ponies have lost. Our plan to convert humanity into ponies has failed. Hundreds of thousands are dead. Homes destroyed. Our nation is shattered and near annihilation. All because we underestimated humanity and their refusal to become like us.

I alone now hold the fate of my people in my hooves against the humans who want nothing more than to destroy us for the so called atrocities we have committed against them. I've lost my friends one way or another. My family. My fellow Princesses.

I have but one duty and that is, reluctantly, to see that we are shown mercy.

I'm just afraid of the cost. Or what I will learn from this.

Based on The Conversion Bureau series.

Pre-Read by bahatumay and Chaotic Note

Edited by Biker_Dash and wlam and Bemmo

Please Help Out The NegotiationsVerse TV Tropes Page

The war has gone on for far too long. To end it, Celestia just has to sign the treaty.

Go read the comments. They're way more interesting than the story itself.

Now with an audio version
Now translated into Russian and with an audio version.

Daniel Habbuck, UN ambassador to Equestria, hates his job.

Sure it pays well, but it's hardly worth having to put up with flank-kissing politicians and the stomach twisting anxiety of knowing that he represents all of humanity.
One night, after a particularly tense meeting leaves him wound up, Daniel is desperate for somepony to talk to. With his friends either busy or too far away, he hires a batpony prostitute, just so he can have some company.

As he soon learns, there's much more to this streetwalker than meets the eye...

Rated T for sexual references, but no clop.

Special thanks to WingmanRed, Georg, and Kraken Hatchling for proofreading and editing

EDIT: Special, special thanks to Comrade Pony for the suggestions
EDIT: Deleted cover art.

Big Macintosh goes on strike when he sees he's the one doing all the heavy lifting and harder work at Sweet Apple Acres while his sisters frolic. His idea catches fire throughout Ponyville, and soon every stallion is up in arms! Sexism explodes in the tiny town, it's Stallions on Strike!

At the Clover Cafe, a peculiar conversation takes place.