"This...is new," Hypno-shroom said as he floated through the vastness of space. But "space" wasn't the right word to describe it. The place was smothered with complete randomness. Chairs barked and playfully chased each other, while giant utensils swam through the air. Upside-down islands were scattered everywhere and pink cotton candy floated around aimlessly. Basically, nothing made sense.
"Welcome to the physical representation of my mind," a voice echoed. "Make yourself at home."
A tiny house knocked Hypno-shroom on the head. "Y'know, maybe you should try clearing your mind every now and then. You'd get more visitors that way," Hypno-shroom said with a smile.
The voice chuckled deeply. "There's a difference between visitors...and intruders."
Hypno-shroom felt a spiteful presence behind him. He slowly turned around, but no one was there. "That's strange. You move comfortably about as if you've been here before. Most people I've encountered are confused or scared at this point."
"You should know by now, Hypno-shroom, I'm not like most."
"How do you know my name?"
"Lucky guess? Honestly, you and your friends need to get real names. I mean look at Peashooter, his name is simply a pun. Repeater, his name is a pun of a pun. And don't get me started about Threepeater. When you think about it, it's actually quite amusing."
Hypno-shroom began to feel uneasy. Especially since he couldn't see the person he was talking to. "Why don't you show yourself? Unless, somehow, you know what I'm going to do next."
"Isn't it obvious?" Suddenly, white gas poured out of Hypno-shroom's cap. The gas formed and hardened into the chaotic being that absorbed him. "Your only purpose here is to brainwash me," Discord said as he began to gain color. "I thought as much when I first saw you."
"What were you.... You were reading my memories!" Hypno-shroom accused.
Discord admittedly raised his hands. "Alright, you've caught me. But know I have a strict motto here in my brain. Wipe your secrets off on the mat before you enter."
Discord lifted a claw, drawing Hypno-shroom closer to him. "Now let's talk about this 'brainwashing'. If I understand this correctly, you have two ways of accomplishing this: by force or persuasion."
Hypno-shroom nodded.
"Well then let's get started!"
The tuft on Discord's tail somehow snapped, warping the two away. Immediately after, Hypno-shroom found himself in a boxing ring surrounded by a roaring crowd. The stage lights flashed as Hypno-shroom saw Discord on the other side of the ring, cheering the crowd on.
"On this side, we have the Spirit of Chaos, the Master of Manipulation, and Conqueror of Equestria!" said an anonymous announcer who, strangely enough, sounded like Barry. "Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for our favorite draconequus, Dynamite Discord!"
At the sound of his name, the crowd went wild. Discord stood prideful, soaking up their praise.
The announcer continued. "Discord is holding up a win streak of [insert outrageously large number here]! If he wins this round, he can finally claim the title of Best Boxer in all History! Followed up by one million Discord Dollars!
"And on this side, we have Hypno-shroom...who’s also in the ring."
A quiet cough was heard from the silent crowd.
"Actually," Hypno-shroom said, "I was planning on convincing you rather than fight you."
Discord seemed disappointed. "Oh...mkay." Discord snapped the boxing ring and audience away. "But I'll have you know, I was looking forward to that trophy."
The room morphed into a smaller room with two comfy chairs and a single table. Discord stretch out before plopping on his chair. "This should be interesting. Please Hypno-shroom, have a seat."
Hypno-shroom hesitantly seated himself.
"But before we begin, I think it's only fair I mention something." Discord folded his hands on the table and leaned over slightly. His face darkened as he spoke slowly with all seriousness. "Someone has already tried to persuade me into hurting my friends once before. Being nothing more than a fool, I listened to him. I deeply regret my actions and would never betray the trust of my true friends. And I doubt anything you say will ever change that. Not that I won't be willing to let you try."
Hypno-shroom tried not to look intimidated. "Your cooperation is greatly appreciated."
"But you must know, an unquenchable hate has grown toward that person. Don't do or say anything to receive it." Discord's expression eased. "Hey, you look hungry. Allow me to get us some food."
"No, I'm-"
Hypno-shroom didn't get a chance to speak. A waiter, who looked an awful lot like Discord, barged through the door rolling in a food cart.
"How do you feel about mushrooms?" Discord asked.
Hypno-shroom simply stared at Discord, unamused.
"Oh yes, that's right.... Well, how about a salad?"
"Discord, let's stop stalling. We're busy people, and I'm sure you have plans after this is over."
Discord frowned. "For a mushroom, you're not a very fungi. But I suppose you're right."
The waiter seemed to be upset at this as he stormed out the door. "Why do I even waste my time making this stuff anyways...." He mumbled, slamming the door behind him.
"Thank you. Now I've already taken the liberty to examine some of your memories. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all," Discord said, spawning a chocolate milk carton.
"Good. Tell me, Discord...these 'ponies'...what do they mean to you?"
Discord chuckled. "These ponies have shown me forgiveness in ways that I may never comprehend. I've tortured them, manipulated them, betrayed them.... Yet, they still extend their hooves in kindness. What do they mean to me, you ask? Everything."
Hypno-shroom nodded in understanding. "Mhm, yep. Your pony friends are evil."
Discord almost choked on his milk. "Wh-what? Is that it? That's how you're going to persuade me?!" Discord collapsed with laughter. "That is rich!"
Hypno-shroom smirked as he waited for Discord to compose himself. "Oh, believe me, I think this is the perfect way to start. As I scrolled through your memories, I've discovered the disgusting reality of these ponies. Something you've blinded yourself to see."
"Oh really? And what 'reality' did you manage to find that I haven't?" Discord righted his chair and sat back down. "Since you've only observed the ponies from my memories, shouldn't I know more than you?"
"You'd think that, but the pony kind is a deceitful race. They make Chrysalis look like Abe Lincoln! So I don't blame you for not seeing this sooner.
"Take Celestia for example. If she really loved her sister, why did she send her to the moon? Twilight Sparkle with the same elements reformed Luna, so why didn't she?"
Discord scoffed. "Really? This cliché argument? Hypno-shroom, I was led to believe this would be more challenging. Celestia and Luna were tied to the Elements of Harmony. With only Celestia, she could only use half of its power. Though half isn't enough to reform her sister, it is enough to send her away."
"You know that's not true, more than anyone. Remember when you attempted to regain you rule over Equestria? Twilight needed her friends to turn you to stone. That's why she had to gather all of them. She couldn't partially turn you to stone or give you a less harsh punishment. It's the same with Celestia."
"Then how do explain Celestia's use of it?"
"Easy, Luna wasn't a bearer. It was all a lie crafted by Celestia to blind Luna to what she truly is: worthless. And don't look so surprised. We all know Celestia doesn't need Luna to raise the moon. For a thousand years, she's been doing it by herself! She just allows her sister to do it."
Discord opened his mouth to protest, but then returned into deep thought. "Interesting.... I suppose I never conceived it that way. But even if that were true, I can't say she's evil for doing it. Like you said, her sister was essentially worthless. Celestia had to do something to assure Luna that her life had a purpose."
"Whatever reason she had, nothing can justify being so deceptive. She's been feeding her own sister lies just to make her feel better about herself. In the process, she's made Luna weak to reality. If she could do that so easily, what do you think she'll do to others? Or even the entire country?"
"The entire country? Don't you think you're stretching it a bit?"
"Not at all. Don't you see it? After Celestia banished her sister, why didn't the ponies of Equestria protest? After all, Luna was a princess! She ruled along side with Celestia! Instead, the ponies forgot all about her. Tell me, how does a country simply forget something like that?"
"Becau-"
"Don't answer that, it's rhetorical. We all know why. It's because Celestia hated her sister! She banished her to the moon when she could have reformed her and made all Equestria forget her name! Celestia's a tyrant and a bully! How can you be okay with that?"
Discord made a "tsk tsk" sound with his teeth, which really annoyed Hypno-shroom. He stood up and began yawning. "You poor mushroom. Calling Celestia names isn't going to get you far, seeing I do so myself. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the company, really I do. But I've grown tired of your false allegations. I'm afraid I'm going to ask you to leave."
"What? Are you afraid that I might convince you into betraying your friends?" Hypno-shroom sneered. "If you're so close to them, you should have nothing to worry about."
Discord held an unpleasant glare as he returned to his seat.
Hypno-shroom smiled and cleared his throat. "Explain, Discord. Why were you dethroned thousands of years ago?"
"Duh, what I did before was cruel and unusual; it contradicted the law of harmony."
"Isn't that exactly what they do now? They fence up sapient creatures and treat them like farm animals. They act cruelly to races they don't understand. Zecora, dragons, griffons.... Need I go on?"
"No, I understand where you're going with this."
"I don't think you do. Answer me this: who originally owned the elements?"
Discord rolled his eyes. "The Tree of Harmony, of course."
"Why didn't the tree, the very symbol of harmony, stop you itself?"
Discord shrugged. "Because it needed someone to bear them?"
"Now you see, the tree doesn't need anyone to help it. When the tree was threatened by your plunderseeds, it easily destroyed them with the elements. So I refer to my previous question: if the tree could use the elements on its own, why didn't it?"
"Okay, I give up. Why?"
"Because it'd be asserting it's will over you. You see, the tree is harmonious because it does absolutely nothing. It doesn't force its will in any way, and that's harmony. Of course, what you were doing wasn't right, but the Tree did nothing about it."
"And?"
"The ponies misuse the elements. They use it to shape the world they see fit. And we know the Tree of Harmony believes this to be wrong. The ponies are cruel and unusual; they go against the rules of harmony. So doesn't that make the ponies no better than you were?"
Discord slammed his fist on the table. "That's not true!"
Hypno-shroom sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry Discord, but I didn't want it to come to this.... Why do you think Celestia wanted to befriend you?"
"Because she saw the good in me!"
"Do you really believe that? Do you think Celestia would release someone who tortured ponies because of friendship? Get real, Discord. After everything you've done, do you really think they'll forgive you?"
Discord looked down and said nothing.
"Discord, they're playing you. Don't be their puppet. Join us and fight against these manipulative ponies."
Discord was still silent, absorbing Hypno-shroom's words. Suddenly, he burst out laughing and applauding. "Good show, Hypno-shroom! That was really convincing!"
Hypno-shroom stood still, more confused than ever. "What...?"
"Did you see my performance? I saw it on your face! You fell for it!"
"Were...were you even listening to me!?" Hypno-shroom fumed.
"Of course I was," Discord said, wiping away a tear. "I'm just amused by the irony in all this."
"What irony!?"
"You say ponies are made of lies and deception. And that they're just using me as a pawn in their game. But when I look at your memories, I see that same description in the humans that created you, and even Barry."
"I'm helping Barry on my own free will."
"You were factorized for crying out loud! Yet you have all these memories of growing up and having a life. Has it ever occur to you that those memories are false? That the humans that made you programmed you with them? You have no choice, and nor does any plant on that lawn right now."
"This isn't about me! It's about you! Let's try to keep it that way."
"Well, it doesn't matter now. I've decided that I'm finished listening to your slander. You either fight me or leave, but I don't really care which."
Hypno-shroom sighed. Discord was too far gone. Anything he said at this point would be futile. "No, I'll leave. I pity you more than I want to fight you. Don't be surprised when you learn the truth, okay? Our doors are always open."
"D'aw, how touching...." Discord mocked. "Just don't let the door hit you on your way out. Trust me, it hurts."
"But before I go, I want to know something. What made you decide not to trust me? I believed I made a good argument."
Discord shrugged. "I suppose I just trust my friends more than some mushroom."
Hypno-shroom's eyes lit up. "Oh! Oh, I see now! All this, the main reason of why you're reformed, it's because of her! You love Fluttershy!"
"What!? N-no, I-"
Suddenly, a boxing glove shot out of nowhere and sucker punched Discord in the face. Before he could do anything, a two hundred ton weighed crashed on top of Discord.
"Ha ha! Stupid feelings!"
A full week. That's how long I've been stuck in this accursed forest. Already have I've been attacked five times by the natives. Scarier still, they get closer to winning with every attempt. Many times have I considered abandoning my home, but I'm no coward. Plus, it didn't look any safer out there. Even still, my options were getting low. And getting back home was starting to look impossible...until now.
I sat on the soft grass as I stared up at "Discord". His hypnotizing process was taking a long time, more than usual. I was really looking forward to having this guy on my team. From what I've seen, his power might as well be infinite. Not only that, he's the only person I'm able to understand ever since I've been here. I'm actually surprised I've kept my sanity so far.
I turned to look at the plant army beside me. They didn't seem to care much about what was going on. In fact, it looked like they were arguing. Typical.
I groaned as I fell over on my back. "Will you finish already, Hypno-shroom...."
After what seemed like hours, the creature began to move. First, it's eyebrow twitched, and then a finger. Suddenly, it began stretching its arms. "Wow, I'm glad to be out of that," he said.
My eyes lit up as I jumped to my feet. But then, a grim thought dawned on me. "That...that is you, isn't it Hypno-shroom?"
A smile spread across the creature’s twisted face. "Maybe, who wants to know?"
I didn't smile back. "Don't play games, Hypno-shroom. I have a lot to talk about."
Hypno-shroom chuckled. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. But I must mind you that our time with Discord is limited. Even as we speak, Discord is fighting back for control."
"Then we shouldn't waste any time playing jokes! Hypno-shroom can you access Discord's memories?"
Hypno-shroom nodded. "Naturally."
"So do you mind telling me where on earth am I?!"
Hypno-shroom smirked as he snapped two chairs into existence. "Take a seat Barry, we have a lot to talk about."
I drank two cups of hot chocolate and ate three pieces of toast, all in the time it took for Hypno-shroom to tell me the story of the "ponies". Needless to say, I was sickened by them. They way they looked down on others was enough to make me gag. But now that the history lesson was over, I had something else lurking in my mind.
"If these ponies were to by some miracle defeat and capture me, what would they do?"
"Nothing harsh," Hypno-shroom said, sipping a cup of tea. "They'll just get a ruler, stick out your hand, and turn you to stone."
I blinked. "Turn me to stone!?"
Hypno-shroom nodded. "Cruel and unusual punishments are these ponies specialty."
"Th-they want to turn me to stone!?"
Again, Hypno-shroom nodded, starting to get a little irritated.
"How can they do that?!"
"Barry, calm down, you won't be turned to stone."
"I know, but the thought of that much power to turn someone to stone...."
"It makes you envy them, right?"
"Yeah!"
Hypno-shroom face-palmed. "Please, Barry...just please...."
"Well, that doesn't matter now. With the power you have, you can send me back home and we can forget this."
Hypno-shroom averted his gaze. "Yeah, about that...."
"You can get me back home, right?"
"I really haven't gotten used to this chaotic power. And even if I did, I doubt Discord has the power to jump universes."
"What!? There is no way I'm staying on this communist rock!"
"I never said you would. We'll find a way back; it just won't be by Discord."
"And what do we do until then? Wait around until I'm caught and petrified?! You said it yourself, Discord won't be contained for long. When he regains control where does that leave me?"
"When I said we don't have much time with Discord, I meant two or three days worth. Besides, in that time, I have a plan to deal with these ponies."
I paused for a moment. "You do?"
"Though it might be for a short while, we still have Discord's power. If we use it right, we can do whatever we want."
It took a moment for me to let it sink in. "Oh! OH! I think I know what you mean!"
Hypno-shroom nodded. "Trust me, once we're done, the ponies won't dare mess with you again...."