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Misunderstandings4,573 words
Plants vs Ponies3,546 words
Know Thy Enemy2,507 words
UnderStand and Assess4,525 words
We Need Anthers!4,441 words
An Apple a Day...2,929 words
When All Else Fails2,610 words
Deception3,080 words
Hoping for the Best4,105 words

Know Thy Enemy

The plants stared with curiosity at the creatures standing before them. They'd seen a lot of strange things that day, but these two took the cake. They looked like wolves, but they were much bigger. But the most notable thing about them was that they were made entirely of sticks. Peashooter couldn't help but ask, "What in the world are you?"

"We're what you'd call a timberwolf," one said. "We couldn't help but overhear your conversation."

Cabbage-pult narrowed his eyes. "How did you just happen to overhear us?"

"To be honest, we were watching you for some time," The other confessed. "But what do you expect? You're not exactly common around here."

The first nodded. "But whether we were spying or not, your problem still stands. Like I said before, if you need information, we may be able to help."

"And why should we trust you?" Peashooter said.

"You don't have to, but there’s no reason why you shouldn't. It's not like we're asking for the keys to your house or anything."

"If we do decide to take this information, what do you expect in return?" Sunflower asked.

"Nothing at all. We simply saw a possible friend in need and want to help."

"Suuuure...," Cabbage-pult said, "excuse us as we talk it over."

The plants turned around and huddled. "There definitely spies," Peashooter stated. "I've never heard of anyone wanting to help someone they just met. They're getting something out of this, we just don't see it."

"Actually, we help Barry without asking for anything in return," Potato Mine reminded. "What makes you think they're not doing the same?"

"We accepted fighting zombies because we thought it was cool. This is entirely different," explained Cabbage-pult. "If you want my opinion, we should tell them to go before they get hurt."

"We could do that," Sunflower said. "But if we do that we might be chasing away our only chance to learn more of our enemy. If these horses attack, we could be vulnerable to the unknown. And considering we have no lawnmowers, we can't afford that."

"'If', 'might', 'could'? Are you sure you're not being paranoid?"

"I'm not being paranoid! That is a perfectly reasonable outcome!"

"And to avoid it, we're going to have to trust them," Potato Mine said. "Besides, what will it hurt?"

"Well, if I'm right," Peashooter said, "and they're spies, they could try to learn our strategy. Maybe even feed us false information. Then we'll most certainly lose our next fight."

"We could ask them questions about the horses we already know, then. If they answer falsely, they either have a bad source, or they’re liars."

"That idea might have worked, but we don't know anything about those horses," Sunflower said.

"Oh yeah..."

"At this point, trusting them seems riskier than turning them down."

"We could just ask them if their lying," a wall-nut suggested.

The plants turned and stared at Wall-nut.

"No seriously, this could work." Wall-nut twisted himself around. "Hey, uhh...?"

"I'm Spruce," the first timberwolf said. "My brother here is Oak."

"Okay Spruce, will you guys lie to us?"

Spruce placed a paw on his chest as if offended. "Of course not!"

Wall-nut turned back to his friends. "See? How could you argue with that?"

The plants were silent. "Good enough for me," Peashooter finally said.

"Me too," Sunflower agreed.

"I guess I could go with that," Cabbage-pult admitted.

"Same here," Potato Mine said.

"Fantastic!" Oak cried. "Let's begin with your names."

"That information is on a need-to-know basis," Peashooter said. "And you don't need to know."

"Uhh, okay," Spruce said. "So the animals you were fighting are an intelligent species called ponies."

"Quick question," Potato Mine said. "Are these ponies evil or something? We don't enjoy killing something that isn't already dead unless they deserve it."

"Maybe you don't like it," Cabbage-pult said, "but I don't mind. If Barry tells us to do it, we will."

Potato Mine rolled his eyes. "Just answer the question, Spruce."

Spruce thought it over for a while. "First of all, they attacked the gardener. That makes them hostile."

"It could have been a misunderstanding," Wall-nut said. "Other humans here could have mistreated them."

Spruce shook his head. "Tsk tsk, you poor naive soul. The truth is, they hate other species. It’s as simple as that."

Peashooter looked doubtful. "What makes you say that?"

"Maybe this story will shed some light. Once a dragon decided to settle down in a cave somewhere miles away from a pony filled town. Like most, this dragon was able to talk, think, and learn. The ponies weren't excited about the idea of a 'wild animal' near their town. But remember, the dragon was miles away. So the ponies agreed to 'take care' of him and set off toward the mountain. Despite the dragon already filling his cave with its money, they forced him out. And it was only because he was different."

"Really?"

"Of course really!" Oak exclaimed, "But that's just the tip of the iceberg, another time a zebra-"

"Okay, we get the picture," Sunflower interrupted. "Though hating other species doesn't deserve a penalty of death. You still haven't given us a valid reason why they're evil."

"Haven't I?!" Spruce shouted.

Sunflower backed up at the timberwolf's sudden outburst.

"Obviously, you don't understand at all! We are like filth under their hooves to them. Our families were murdered because they deemed us inferior! 'Hate' is an understatement to what those...creatures feel about us."

"Okay, I-"

"They've enslaved nature! They fence up sapient pigs for no reason whatsoever! They’re trying to take over this world by taking control of everything else. They took over the weather. They conditioned animals so that they can't take care of themselves. They won't allow anything to grow without them knowing of it. This forest is the only place safe from their cruel ways. Oak is the only family I have left to protect." Spruce's face started dripping with tears. "From childhood, we searched vainly to find someone brave enough to fight back. When we saw you plants easily trumping them in battle, we were filled with such joy...."

Spruce couldn't control himself; he started to sob like a little child. The plants looked at each other, feeling pretty terrible. Oak comforted his brother. "Don't worry; soon it'll all be all over."

"Yeah," Wall-nut agreed, "we'll put a stop to this. No more will the ponies treat you like sticks!"

Peashooter face-leafed. "Poor choice of words."

A weak smile spread across Spruce's face. "Th-thank you…"

"But before we could do anything," Sunflower said, "we need information."

Spruce took a moment to compose himself. "Good idea, but let’s begin with your traits and abilities. It'll be easier to tell you how you can improve than to spew out knowledge."

"That's reasonable," Sunflower said, "let’s start with my abilities..."

Luna trotted down a stony pathway in shiny silver armor. It had been centuries since she'd been in a battle like this. Still, she was as confident as ever. After a talk with some of the injured guards, she had a good idea of what her opponents looked like and how to take them out. Actually, she had a quite a bit of fun strategizing and organizing.

She slowed her pace as she arrived at a field filled with her specially trained night guards. They wielded swords, shields, crossbows, and spears. Much like the first band of guards who attacked, but much more planned out.

As the guards realized her presence, they stood at attention and waited for orders.

"At ease," Luna commanded.

One of the higher night guards trotted toward her and bowed. "I did everything you asked. Each shield is enchanted to be more durable. On top of that, we gathered more than one hundred trained guards."

"Good, that will be all for now."

The guard nodded and joined his comrades. As the guard left, Celestia walked up and greeted her. "Hello, sister."

"Celestia, you came! Does this mean you'll fight with us as well?"

Celestia's smile faded. "I'm afraid not. I already invited some griffons to dinner and a serious discussion. They have been starting some trouble at the Horseshoe Bay you see."

"Tis a shame, I really hoped we could do this together. Just like old times."

Celestia chuckled. "Yes, just like old times. But don't you think it's reasonable to do this another day? I feel attacking tonight is rushing things too much."

"Maybe, but I won't be able to rest until I personally bring this creature down as soon as I can. This shame it brought upon the kingdom is too great to last much longer!"

"It’s not that bad, Equestria has been conquered before."

"Not by plants, sister!"

Before Celestia could argue more, a royal guard trotted up to Celestia. "Excuse me, your highness, but we have to go now."

"Ah yes, I almost forgot." Celestia outstretched her wings. "I wish good luck to you, sister."

Luna waved goodbye and turned to attend to her army.

A few hours later...

"...and that's basically it," Sunflower ended.

"That was...long," Oak groaned.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Peashooter said. "Now how can we use all that to our advantage?"

"First of all," Spruce started, "I couldn't remember most of what you said."

"What!? Why didn't you interrupt us or-?!"

"Second, I'm pretty sure I could just give you a basic idea on what you’re doing. Then you could discuss more complex strats on your own."

Sunflower frowned. "I still think you should have said something earlier."

Oak rolled his eyes. "What was your first attack strat anyways?"

"Oh, we just sort of shoot the guy in front of us," Peashooter explained.

"Don't forget, we also shoot off one of their limbs first. Then we go for headshots," Cabbage-pult added.

Oak burst out laughing, but then his smile slowly faded. "Oh, you're serious..."

Peashooter started to get mad. "What's wrong with our strategy!?"

"Oh, nothing!" Spruce assured, "it's the perfect strategy...if you were fighting zombies! I mean you have to admit, that plan sounds terrible."

Sunflower folded her leaves. "I'm not even going to comment. What do you suggest?"

"This is an ancient technique that is rarely seen in most battles, but can conquer wars."

"What is it?"

Spruce looked around as if to make sure no one was listening. "It's a thing called...prioritizing your targets."

Sunflower placed a leaf on her chin. "This intrigues me. Please, go on."

"They are three groups of ponies," Spruce continued, "earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. Half of you will aim for the pegasi, the ponies with wings. The other half will take on the unicorns, the ponies with horns."

"We got the pegasi!" Cabbage-pult announced.

"So that leaves us with the unicorns," Peashooter said.

"A tip to help those who fight the pegasi: keep them from the clouds. When they latch onto one, they can control the weather. Meaning they can form blizzards and shoot lightning. Those who fight the unicorns, aim for the horn, they can't use magic if you hit them."

"Wait," Sunflower interrupted, "who aims for the third group, the earth ponies?"

Spruce thought for a second. "They're pretty much useless, just hit them when they get too close."

At that moment, Barry walked out the house with his shovel. He paused immediately after seeing the stick creatures. "Huh, timber wolves. Cool." Barry continued his work and raised his shovel in the air. He proceeded to dig up one of the peashooters. As he did, the plants were engulfed in light and shrunk down into something that seemed to be two small suns. Barry took out his gun-shaped device and absorbed it.

"Whoa, what is he doing to you guys?" Oak asked a little concerned.

"You could say he's refreshing us," Sunflower explained. "When we stay out too long, we get tired and won't fight to our fullest. He may replant us, or he might mix it up and replace us."

"So different plants come and take your place, right?"

"Sometimes, yes."

"Don't forget to tell them the new strategy," Spruce reminded. "If not, this conversation would be pointless."

"Don't worry, he usually doesn't replace me."

"Spruce, we have to go now," Oak urged.

"Oh yes, I remember."

Spruce waved goodbye as they both ran back into the forest. "Good luck guys!" they cried as they disappeared into the darkness.

The plants waved back. "Thanks for your help!"

The timberwolves ran deeper into the forest. "You think we're out of hearing range?" Oak huffed.

"I think so, yes," Spruce answered. They both stopped and grinned. "They were so gullible."

"Yeah, they devoured your 'lost my family' story. Good fake tears, by the way. Now they will attack with no reservations."

"Thanks, the boss will be so pleased when we tell him we succeeded...."