If you feel like looking over the Google document of Diamond Tiara Buys a Little Sister and leaving any comments before I put it in the EqD queue again, I would welcome the feedback.
It was rejected with no strike because of two reasons: I hadn’t totally finalized the document and I was still unhappy with the low amount of heart-rending emotional ripping at the end of the second chapter, which of course the EqD pre-reader spotted and pointed out.
Man, there’s nothing more frustrating than having a problem, other than to have other people notice it too. Sigh.
Anyway, I’ve changed a number of things and I think improved the ending by about two cardiac chambers, twelve tears and a pint of blood. I may not get you hard-hearted creatures to burst into tears, but I expect a small sniffle or two, and perhaps a rapid blink. Most of the changes are below the word 'Tuesday' in the document if you've already read through it once.
(brief spoiler below the page break)Read More