Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
About ten steps into the establishment, and Rainbow could scarcely keep her eyes open. The strobing lights stabbed through her eyes and straight into her brain with each multicolored flash. On every occasion, the luminescent blasts were accompanied by thunderously pounding bass beats as a symphonic opera rattled off in the background, far beyond the hisses, cheers, and cat calls.
"Hah!" Lyra could be heard bellowing amidst the bedlam. "You know the place is serious when their speakers pump out Depeche Mane!"
"Did I just see a lacy saddle fly overhead?" Bon Bon remarked.
"I knew Caramel left too soon!"
"Heeheehee!"
"Goddess damn! This place is packed!"
"Should we wait for some stools over by the stage?"
"Buck that nonsense!" Rainbow felt a tug as Lyra led her and Bon Bon towards the furthest corner of the place. "We've got bits, remember?! We're getting our own private booth!"
"Oh gosh! I forgot you could do that at places like this!"
"Cuz you've been too dang poor every time you've visited beforehand!"
"To be honest, I-I've only braved a club like this only once or twice in the past," Bon Bon said. "How about you, Rainbow?"
Rainbow's eyes blearily trailed the floor. The carpet was colored in little, twirly patterns. It made her head spin even harder. "Uhhhhhhhh..."
"Heehee... got a case of shyness all of a sudden? That's too cute."
"Been... it's b-been a few years," Rainbow said, teetering slightly. She spread her wings to keep balanced, nearly brushing up against a nearby stage. She looked up and caught a streak of tails lifting, then the glint of poles. The ponies around her immediate vicinity cheered and whistled. Bodies rose, fell, and gyrated. She blinked, and for a brief moment the flashing lights were replaced with the flames that consumed a floating castle filled with dragons battling equine criminals and sentient rodents. Another blink, and everything flickered once again to an erotic circus. "Urp... f-feels like ages ago..."
"Heh! Don't worry, speedy," Lyra spoke. "I've read up about Hurricane's Harem. This place is guaranteed to make you feel as giddy as a schoolfilly again. And just about as sweaty!"
"There's a booth over there, Lyra."
"Good catch, B-Squared!"
"Wow... it has three poles! Can... can we afford to sit there?"
"Can we afford not to sit there?! For shit's sake, this is the night to end all nights! Let's debauch until debauchery runs out!"
"Heehee! Why not! I've been around candied sweets and clean cotton candy for far too long!"
"Grffff..." Rainbow felt a wave of nasuea bubbling inside her. Courageously, the mare fought the sensation. She stared across the club, spotting coat colors shining... glistening in the errant beams of light. Somewhere, across the way, a pair of eyes glistened. Rainbow thought she saw a smile aimed at her, and the pegasus' heart skipped a beat. Her vision twitched, and she lost sight of the gaze, instead observing a copious amount of twirling figures. "So... like... what's the point when you, me, and Bon Bonnie are the most naked ones here?"
"Pffft! Don't be a stick in the mud, girl!" Lyra groaned as the three slumped down in their booth. "It's not about having no clothes."
Bon Bon winked. "It's about wearing sexy clothes."
"Yes—and the creative ways in which you can get those clothes off!"
"Heeheehee! What she said!"
Rainbow Dash shivered slightly in her seat. She struggled to keep her eyes even. "So... uhm... what? Do we wait for girls—"
"—or stallions!"
"Right. Do we wait for them to come visit us or—?"
"I think we can request them specifically," Bon Bon said. "Isn't that right, Lyra?"
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah..." Lyra licked her lips, squinting across the stages as she spotted a pink-coated unicorn in a gold number strutting her stuff. "That's how it works, baby! I say we be democratic about it. Choose one for each of us! Pile up the bits and have a competition! A strip-o-thon! Hah!"
"For real?"
"Totally, Rainbow! You've got your eye on somepony?"
"Uhhhhhhh..."
"Whoah!" Bon Bon suddenly gasped. "They've got zebras here! Er... I-I mean..." she sank in her seat slightly. "Uhhh... how n-nice of them to diversify..."
"Hahahahaha!" Lyra slapped Bon Bon's shoulder. "Somepony's got striped fever, eh, sweet cheeks?"
"Mmmmmmmm..." The tips of Bon Bon's ears turned blood red. "...m-maybe?"
Lyra smiled. "Well, let's make your dreams come true." She waved down a passing waitress.
"Welcome to Hurricane's Harem," the mare cooed, eyes thin and coy. "The sultriest stop in all the clouds. What can I do for you fillies that can't be written home to Mom about?"
"Oh gosh!" Bon Bon rolled her eyes, laughing.
"Lovin' this place already!" Lyra tossed a pair of coins onto the mare's tray. "What does it take to request some dancers, toots? I can call you 'toots' in a place like this?"
The mare winked. "So long as you make us see gold."
Lyra tossed another two coins. "How about corralling one of those two gorgeous zebras to pay us a visit?"
"What, you mean Sweet Sands and Frilly Fronds? Heehee... I'm sure they'd be overjoyed."
"Whichever of the two wants to get rich on tips tonight," Lyra said with a wink. "In the meantime, I'd really... really love to see that pink unicorn up close... see if she's even pinker in certain spots, y'know what I mean? Heh!"
"So... uh..." Bon Bon cleared her throat, maintaining a crooked smile. "You really like unicorns, huh?"
"When they're dressed like a Yayakistani slave, sure!" Lyra nudged the pegasus seated with them. "How about you, ace? What flavor are you in the mood for?"
"Uhhhhhh..." Rainbow Dash blinked dizzily across the throbbing environment. "Uhmmmm... I uhhhh..."
"Mmmmmmm..." The waitress giggled. "We've got a shy one, I see..."
Rainbow fought the urge to hiccup. Again, she sensed a pair of smokey eyes from across the domain, and soon it all blurred to black as she rubbed her head. "Mrmmffff... surprise me."
"Hah!" Lyra grinned wide. "Famous last words!"
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Yep.
Um.
In my head, Dash is getting a changeling stripper.
ohgod
Is that a hint to who it is? If it is, I have noooo idea who it could be. On another note...Bon Bon is into Zebras? Huh.
I wonder if Zecora is an open-minded mare...
Inb4 the waitress hooks her up with a stallion.
I can't see this ending well. Crowded place, Dash's already a little loopy, combined with the fact that someone's following her . . . I have a very, very bad feeling.
. . . Or I'm just extremely paranoid.
Oh this is going to go so terribly.
Come on lancie...
...yeah, I think Lyra nailed it with that one.
Welp... that's a tagline.
What could possibly go wrong?
Rainbow fought the urge to hiccup. Again, she sensed a pair of smokey eyes from across the domain, and soon it all blurred to black as she rubbed her head. "Mrmmffff... surprise me."
...shit.
My bets are on our stalker being Listing Breeze.
Love the Nostalgia Critic reference. He's one of my heroes.
Oh . . . my . . . goodness.
I have never been to a strip club and never will. I'm shy and I hate crowds and loud music. And high heels. And dancing. And fun.
Huh. Traumatic flashback induced by bright lights and loud noises. So either ptsd is a factor here, or some magic shenanigans are at play.
One Listing Breeze, coming right up!
7148332
Smoky eyes? It's clearly King Sombra!
Huh, I'm suddenly reminded of an old product tagline.
cached.imagescaler.hbpl.co.uk/resize/scaleWidth/620/offlinehbpl.hbpl.co.uk/news/OKM/B485551A-FAB2-931A-8FA82AAD7718BA07.jpg
Who has smokey eyes and smiles at Rainbow?
3.bp.blogspot.com/-Yuom92S3vh8/VlPu6q14XMI/AAAAAAAAIoo/yukJ4an2mgQ/s1600/Twilight_successful_dark_magic.png
It's Verlax, coming to chill out on this alternate universe. She can't drop the stalking. It's embarrassing.
The ponies around her immediate vicinity cheered and whistled. Bodies rose, fell, and gyrated. She blinked, and for a brief moment the flashing lights were replaced with the flames that consumed a floating castle filled with dragons battling equine criminals and sentient rodents. Another blink, and everything flickered once again to an erotic circus.
Heeheehee! Somepony's got PTSD!
7149122
... If this happens, then I will find you and I will hurt you. Okay? You have been warned. *whispers* warned.
7148896 Bonus double reference in that Anthology V had this
Inb4 the stripper is Lancie.
Please don't let it be Listing Breeze.
Ok I retract my Mafia statement and go with whatever the comments below me say.
Honestly, with how accurate some of their predictions were I wonder if some were actually the author larping as a reader.