Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
Up above, on the surface of the world...
Ponies trotted to and from various buildings in the steep, ashen canals of Dredgemane. Blacksmiths hammered metals together. Mares carried bundles of laundry and textiles. Several other citizens in plain brown and gray garb stood at intersections, sharing amicable conversations under a hazy overcast sky.
All of the sudden, the ground shook. Ponies looked around nervously. Wagons rattled. Rusted shingles shook off of building faces. Fillies and colts cried out in fright.
Not long after...
P-POWWWW! Huge chunks of earth exploded in the center of one particular ravine. Granite and asphalt clattered against the walls of the place.
A few ponies collapsed on their haunches, scooting frightfully away from the fresh hole.
Huge clusters of citizens peered at a distance. Smoke and ash erupted from the exposed belly of the earth. Then... with glowing blue light... several twirling wheels levitated out. Positioned on one disc was a single unicorn, her mane and cloak billowing in the surging winds of chaos.
“Hmmmm-hmmm-hmmm-hmmm...” Trixie grinned, eyes glowing. “Mwaahaahaaahaaa!” She tilted her head back as lightning framed her cacking figure. “Mwa ha ha ha ha ha haaaah!”
Ponies shivered and clung to each other, their eyes wide.
“You foalish citizens of Dredgemane!” Trixie sneered. “Living in the fossilized detritus of a dead god! I'll give you something new to fear! To fear and adore with every ounce of your blood!” She held a hoof out as the wheels spun faster and faster around her like big hulking electrons. “And let the name be cried out, in billions upon billions of screaming voices... the righteousness... horrifying majesty... of THE GREAT and POWERFUL TRIX—”
“Oh, there you are!” A stallion trotted up to the edge of a rooftop, smiling. “I've been looking all over the quarry for you! Check it!” He slapped a rattling bucket of rocks onto the balcony. “I've got this huge bunch of rocks that need sorting! Could ya help me out?”
Trixie's glowing eyes blinked... then blinked again. She snarled. “No, seriously, buck this town!” Clutching the stone dragon's tail, she aimed her horn forward, pulsating with chaotic energy. “RAAAAAAAAAUGH!”
Th-Th-Th-Thwooooosh! The wheels sailed forward at murderous speed.
The citizens scrambled every which way, screaming for their lives. Hotels imploded. Shop vendors were reduced to splintery wastes. Ponies fled out of saloons and balcksmith shops as the wheels grinded on through, spilling gravel and debris into the center of the ravine.
“Haaaaah hah hah hah hah hahhhhhhhh!”
Pinkie's nose tingled.
“What?” Rainbow Dash flew down in front of her. “What's th-that mean?!”
“Uhhhhh...” Pinkie rubbed her muzzle. “That only happens once a year. It means somepony's laughing the mother of all laughter.”
“Great!” Rainbow Dash clenched her teeth, staring up the tunnel. “I think we just unleashed Ragneighrok in the form of an egotistical little unicorn!”
“Heh... dang straight we did!” Daring said with a smirk.
Rainbow squinted at her. “Why are you smiling?”
Daring rolled her eyes innocently.
Rainbow moaned. “Well, I hope the proceeds from your book can pay for all the damages being done to Dredgemane right now!”
“We need to stop Trixie,” Maud said. “With that chaos shard in her grasp, her id is magnified by the level of at least one hundred Trixies.” A three and a half second blink. “That is too much Trixie.”
“It's unnaturallllll!” Pinkie exclaimed in a warbling voice.
“Right!” Daring nodded. “Then we gotta stop her!”
“How?!” Rainbow Dash sputtered. “She already seems a gazillion times stronger than Swimsuit Issue!”
“Sunset Shimmer!” the unicorn growled from a distance. WHAM! Confetti flew into her face. “Augh!” She fell down to the ground with a groan.
Pinkie Pie stuck the miniature cannon back into her mane. “Dashie!” She frowned at her best friend. “Don't tell me you've forgotten how to improvise!”
“I... I...” She rubbed her numb forelimbs together. “I've been running myself thin as of late...”
“So?” Pinkie grinned. “Not like you can't ask for help!”
“I... think I've forgotten how to, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash stammered, wincing. “I wish I could explain it... b-but I just can't.” She hung her head. “You wouldn't understand.”
“Yeah, well, a book doesn't do any good unless the heroes kick flank at the end!” Daring said.
“Do you mean to say...” Maud leaned her head aside. “That we're heroes?”
“Ha HA!” Daring slapped a hoof on her shoulder. “Sure thing... ... ...”
“—Maud Pie.”
“R-right!” Daring smirked at the others. “Champ, you grab a mare. I grab a mare. Then we all four fly to the surface and do the penultimate mare grabbing. Ya feel me?”
“And what if Trixie's too powerful for us?”
“Improviiiiiiiiiiiiiiise!” Pinkie sing-songed.
Rainbow Dash exhaled, then smiled weakly. “You know, we've done nothing but tear crap up and headbutt each other since this stupid trip to the underworld began.” She gulped. “And I still can't help but feel that we've done more harm than good... to the point that even Noir would be ashamed of us.”
“But we had fun, right?” Daring leaned in. “Riiiiiight?”
Rainbow Dash blinked.
“Well I sure have,” Maud droned.
“Squee!” Pinkie grinned.
With an exhale, Rainbow smiled and grabbed Pinkie. “Hang on. This is gonna get windy.”
“Weee! I love straightening my mane!” Pinkie then yelped as Rainbow shot the two of the up the glowing hole towards the surface. “Whoaahhh!”
“Hang tight, Madeline,” Daring said, grabbing around Maud's waist.
“But these criminals and thugs...” Maud blinked down at the bruised and stirring characters. “And Sunset. Is it very 'heroic' to just leave them all here?”
“Eh...” Daring flapped her wings, carrying the two of them up after Rainbow. “I'll edit all that out.”
“Okay.”
As the four mares exited, Romulus stood up, rubbing his head. He squinted up the tunnel, frowning under his beak. Schiiing! He picked up his scimitar and flexed his wing muscles.
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It's official. Maud Pie is epic.
Amidst all this rampant chaos and misery, this beautiful scene really struck home. I'm hoping Rainbow will at least attempt to ask for help after all this. Or, you know, at least hint at it.
I love how Daring acts here, all nonchalant in the face of wheels. I also love how she plans to deal with all this. I especially love Maud's blatant apathy for it.
And DAMNIT ROMULUS! Give them a break! I mean, YEAH, you're best griffon, but this is RAINBOW DASH. And her needs precede yours.
5202791
... That last bit came out wrong. Or I'm just overthinking it. Ah well!
I literally heard the record scrape in my mind, I did.
...Do you think it would have been a really bad situation if it was a 5 second blink that time?
*hee*
Hell, I don't understand.
How ironic.
If I come across only one true statement all day, that will have to be it.
Also, Daring x Maud totally needs to be a thing. There's totally a romantic adventure story in that somewhere.
5202883
*rubs hands together*
Let the crack shipping begin.
You know, for an author, Daring really doesn't seem to have a firm grasp on her vocabulary.
Why did my mental eye immediately conjure up Dinobot in "Code of Hero" when I read that?
Aww, I always liked Dredgemane.
Am I the only one who thinks of that line in fast and furious 6 during that tank scene?
Oh gee now I guess Romulus is gonna pursue Rainbow Dash through eleventy-hundred chapters. We'll think he's finally gone and then he'll slaughter a town full of ponies who have had just enough character development for us to care about.
Sunbutt-onna-bike... please, not again.
Romulus=Shell
We just find it creepy.
5204655 HAHA! IKR?! I know this post is waaaay late but I literally just started the story a few days ago. Anyway from F&F 6, “SOMEBODY BETTER DO SOMETHING!!! I GOT A TANK ON MY ASS!!!”
Oh dear.
I kind of hope that Shimmy is going to deal with them now that she's marginally less insane.