Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
They arrived with a puff of smoke. Literally.
Carnival show theatrics introduced a pair of yellow-coated unicorns with matching red manes. Their hair and tail streaked in the candlelight as they glided forward on their knees, forelimbs spread in wild cheer. They wore dapper suits, and their manes were neatly greased back so that their horns stood out prominently atop the centers of their skulls.
Rainbow Dash was familiar with what the two sons looked like. When they spoke, however, her insides curled up. She hadn't quite expected them to sound so... corny.
"Y-y-yessss! That's right, Fillies and Gentlecolts!" one with a mustache said.
"Your sultans of social savor are here!" the one without a mustache added.
"It's another beautiful night in Philanthropy!"
"But only best and the brightest get to celebrate!"
"And do you know why?! Come on, folks! Let the little'un's chime in for ya!"
The fillies and colts hopped up, grinning wide. "Because we're Mommy Serenity's chosen!"
"Thaaaaaaaaaat's right!" The one without a mustache hopped up first, patting one foal after another on the head as he trotted forward. "And can anypony here tell me why it's special to be Mommy Serenity's chosen?"
"Because she will always take care of us!" the children chanted. Looking on, the parents chuckled and nuzzled each other.
"Yup! She's a very nice mare, our Mom!" The mustache'd stallion winked his green eye. Rainbow Dash spotted a cutie mark of a whole apple with a quarter sliced out on his flank. "And she loves each and every pony in Philanthropy!"
"And she loves each and every pony who lives in this Tower even better!" added the brother. "But can you tell us who she loves best?"
"The Cider Princess!" the foals chanted.
"That's right! And in just the day after tomorrow, she gets coronated!" The stallion with a mustache hung a forelimb around his brother's neck. "Do you know what that means, ol' brother of mine?"
"We have ourselves a darling new sister!"
"More than that, Flim! It means that Philanthropy is headed into a new age! An age of joy, wonderment, discovery..." He narrowed his eyes. "And no more suffering..."
The foals cheered while the adults applauded.
Rainbow Dash squinted through the doorframe while Gustave and Epcot shuffled curiously.
"And you know why that is?" Flim grinned, stepping out to pace before the rich families. "Because the Cider Princess is special! She has the power to bring Philanthropy to new heights! That's precisely why Mommy's been borrowing the magic from everypony! It's because she needs all of our horns and wings to power up the cider machine that Princess Apple Jewell is going to operate!"
"Holy Figment..." Epcot murmured.
"Huh..." Gustave glanced at Rainbow. "Did you hear that?"
"Shhh!" Rainbow insisted, craning an ear towards the scene.
"And once the Cider Princess has blessed us with her gifts, Philanthropy will no longer be bound to this canyon!" Flam trounced around, throwing wicked grins at the crowd. "We'll no longer be stuck here in the dust and grime of the earth... having to share it with..." His eyes narrowed. "...slimy non-equine riff-raff."
The crowd booed. The musicians smirked shile playing their violins.
"Grrrr..." Gustave snarled, charging forward on talons. "...why those slimy pig-headed...!"
"Hey!" Rainbow hissed, yanking him back by his tail. "There's a time and a place!"
"But you heard them! If they had their way—"
"—I gotta hear more!"
"What for?"
"'Cuz! I gotta know just what they're trying to get Applejack to do!"
"You must be kidding me..."
"For realsies," Rainbow said. "Trust me. I've been doing this sneaky-stuff for... uhhh... quite a while now."
"Oh yeah? For how long?"
"Like... four hundred and eighty chapters, give or take."
"If you're so desperate to save your friend, then why not rush out there, eh?" Gustave pounded his chest. "Valiant-like?!"
"Because I need to get her back in one piece!" Rainbow snarled.
"Uhhhhhh..." Epcot gulped, trotting backwards away from the cracked door. "My little mortals...?"
Rainbow barked in Gustave's face. "Because I'm not even gonna leave this dreamscape unless I know for a fact that Applejack is gonna be one hundred percent okay?!"
"What'ssssss thisssss?" Flim's voice sing-songed. Suddenly, light poured all over the three sneaking figures as he opened the door to the ballroom. "Gadzooks, Flam!"
"Is that what I think it is, Flim?!"
"It's... it's..." Flim teetered back, eyes wide as he raised his forelimbs in shock and horror. "...the Blue Jay!"
"The One and Only Blue Jay?! Vagabond of all Philanthropy?!"
"Tis true!" Flim bellowed theatrically.
"... ... ..." Rainbow Dash froze in place, sweating. "Hoboy..."
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1) The cringing is great. Oh, so great. Especially with the cheering children added in.
2)
Heh.
3) Hoboy...
Damn it, Rainbow Dash, breaking the fourth wall is Pinkie Pie's job.
Meh, I got nothing. Sorry, but I just finished reading the FoE:PH update. I'm emotionally drained. I will say this though:
You couldn't resist, could you JE?
Damn, it's almost painful everytime a chapter ends, I need moar!!! Seriously though, how the hell do you write so much? This updated daily, untop of the austreoh series, untop of your one shots, on top of your other epics your always writing and updating, how can one man truly write so much with so little flaws?
This makes me think that the subconscious projections of Shindig and/or Flim&Flam are against the oppression of the other races.
So then they're just there for the free drinks, eh?
Give a whole lot of arse kickin', take a whole lot of names
Showdown incoming, but I also can't wait to see what the Ebil League of Ebil is cooking up back home.
5723488 someone who understands, I was depressed all day from that update.
I'm staring to think that by "Cider Princess", they really do mean "Cider Princess".
5723479 Is it really Pinkie's job? At least in the cartoon, Spike did that several times since the first episodes, and Pinkie only started doing it often in later seasons, because the public expected her to, because she's more cartoony. In fact, the only early time she broke the fourth wall was when she did this.
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110930130423/halo/images/f/f6/Pinkie_Pie_4th_Wall.png
Eh, yeah, I have to comment something about the story... Well, it seems the city is not only mudponies, and it's just that the screwheads and horseflies have "lended" their appendices to the cause.
"Like... four hundred and eighty chapters, give or take." ._________. Pls.
Wow, has it been that long? ._.
5724443 There you go. Pinkie did it so much better, she was given the job. Can we at least agree that it ain't Rainbow Dash's job?
5724924 I will give you that.
Rack 'em up rack 'em up rack 'em up...
The climax draws ever nearer.
5723564
I'm betting on time travel. Or clones. Clones are always good.
Eeyup. Shit got real.
Skirts
My little mortals, my little mortals...