Hello, I'm Static Spark. I'm what is known a Cortexaphan Ghoul. I don't know all the science behind it, but we are a rare breed of ghouls. I want to find the rest of my kind and document my adventures like Shoeshine or auntie Screwloose.
Hello, I'm Static Spark. I'm what is known as a Cortexaphan Ghoul. I don't know all the science behind it, but it gives me a unique power. Cortexaphan ghouls are a rare breed, not even the Wasteland Survival Guide mentions us. I know of 16 like me, one's my adoptive aunt Screwloose and another is some jerk who did a lot of bad things to her, but I want to meet the rest. I want to find where I belong, but Shoeshine and Sundae treat me like a little kid and won't let me. I'm 225-years-old, but all they see is the 13-year-old I was when I became a ghoul. My only option is to run away for my own sanity. Don't worry, I'll have my good friend Aglow to watch my back. I'll even document my journey like Screwy and Shoey did. Maybe one day it will air on the radio like theirs did.
This story is also canon to Gamma Deekay’s and Digital Ink (AKA Sawyer)’s series of connected fics, but only in that it shares the same shared universe.
**whisper** Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3, Equestrian Prance toast on rye, is this thing working? Oh yes I see it recording. Let’s see, food, irradiated water, lighter, healing potion, sleeping bag. I believe that is everything.
**ethereal chime**
(Aglow) **echoey** So you are really going to do this?
**whisper** Yes, now shshsh, I think Shoe and Sun just went to bed. I don’t want to wake them.
(Aglow) **echoey whisper** Why, my sweet, are you running away? Miss Shoeshine and Miss Sundaa have been nothing, but kind since taking you in. The environment is better than with Dumbbell.
**whisper** I know, I know. **sigh** I’ve lived with them for 2 years now. I want to strike out on my own. Find the remaining 14 cort ghouls. Do other adult stuff.
(Aglow) **echoey whisper** Your just a–
**whisper** Don’t say “child”. I’m 225-years-old tomorrow. I’m well past elderly. I just look 13.
(Aglow) **echoey whisper** I was going to say “single pony”. It is a dangerous wasteland out there. You have only been awake for almost 2 years of it.
**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**
Shit! **beep** I forgot about the midnight alarm.
(Aglow) **echoey whisper** Make that 2 years. Happy Birthday, Static Spark. My point still stands, you do not know the dangers of the wastes. I was keeping it at bay for 210 years.
**whisper** By locking innocent ponies in dreams.
(Aglow) **echoey whisper** I am still sorry for that. You are set on doing this.
**whisper** Yeppy yep, but you knew that.
(Aglow) **echoey whisper** Then can I have permission to use your powers on any raiders we might encounter?
**whisper** I knew you’d come around. Permission granted. We’ve wasted too much time, we need to go. The guards at the wall change soon. We’ll need to go soon to slip out with no pony knowing.
(Aglow) **echoey whisper** Should you not tell somepony where you are going, sweetie?
**whisper** I am. I have a note. If no pony sees me leave it will be harder for them to find me until my quest is done. Now let’s go...Caps. I nearly forgot caps.
Ok, I made it out of my house. I just need to get through the gate before….shit! She’s early.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy**at a distance** Spark, what are you doing out at this time of night? **thud**closer now** Isn’t it past your bedtime?
**sigh** I was hoping to be gone before you got on duty…..and I’m not a kid anymore. I..um…
(Aglow) **echoey** She is looking for the other ghouls like us...Cortexaphan Ghouls.
Shhshs, don’t tell her. She’ll just tell Shoe and I’ll have to go home.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** I see, going on a little adventure?
Y-yeah...Like you and your sister.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** You know where you’re going? You got everything you need?
Wait….you’re letting me go?
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Maybe. You are 225-years-old. Happy Birthday, by the way. I know Shoey can be a bit protective. You should see how she was when I was bullied in school. I just want to know you’re prepared. Even without all the radiation, and the newly formed city-states….it is still a dangerous wasteland out there. Let me see your things?
Yeah...I guess I have no other choice. I say no, you go get Shoe.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** You catch on quick. Hmm, several days of food rations, irradiated water, lighter, healing potion, sleeping bag, and 150 caps. No weapon? No armor?
Aglow is my weapon.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Aglow is an illusion, no offense.
(Aglow) **echoey** None taken.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** From Shoe’s story I know she can lock ponies in illusions, but nothing is real. Fake things can’t stop a crazy spray of bullets. What if you are forced to defend yourself?
Uuuuuh…..I hadn't thought about that.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Here, take my firepony axe and my barding.
Wait, your giving me Kerchop? Your armor?
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** I only carry it for nostalgia. I typically use a gun on guard duty. Just don’t lose it. I have more armor.
And if Shoey or Sundae ask–
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** I didn’t see you.
No, you can tell her if asked, just say we went New Appleoosa.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Where are you going?
We’re not sure yet, I’ll need to see if Ags can still sense any of them.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Good luck.
Thank you.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Hey, I’m the cool aunt. Just please come home in one piece or Shoe will kill me for letting you go.
Location: Zebratown/Canterlot Ruins, Settlement of Recurrence
Objective: TBA
Target: TBA
(Shoeshine) **slightly raspy** What are you doing?
Keeping a log of this contract to save on paper and not get screwed over. What am I hunting? Do you want them dead or alive? Alive costs extra.
(Shoeshine) **slightly raspy** Well, you are looking for our daughter...adoptive daughter. Her name is Static Spark. We want her alive.
Hmmm, I hate runaway retention. That will cost extra for the annoyance, but doable.
(Sundae) **very raspy** She’s a ghoul, not like us, regular kind. Earth pony. She looks like a young filly, but is 225-years-old.
Are you're sure she ran away? 225 sounds like an adult to me. Maybe she just left.
(Shoeshine) **slightly raspy** She was asleep for most of that time, she’s basically a 15-year-old. Not old enough to be out on her own.
Any clue where she might be?
(Shoeshine) **slightly raspy**sigh** My sister said she saw her heading to New Appleoosa last night.
So one of you saw her and didn’t stop her?
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Hey, she whammied me! Be happy I saw her at all.
Whammied?
(Shoeshine) **slightly raspy** Static Spark has a special power. She can control illusions. Typically channeled through an adult, ghoul, unicorn, apparition she calls Aglow. Looks like a glowing ghoul, but is not really there. She can lock almost anyone into a waking nightmare if she can see you.
I hate magic anomalies, that will also be extra...and I want half upfront. 387 caps up front, 774 total. Deal?
(Shoeshine) **slightly raspy** That’s quite a bit.
Well my fee for this meeting is 37 caps, standard rate is 50 caps a day. New Appleoosa is not that far away, should only take 1 and a half days, but I round up to the nearest full day. Then its 100 extra for it being a runaway, 100 for bringing them back alive, and 100 for her magic peculiarity. It takes longer, I’ll bill you upon my return.
(Sundae) **very raspy** Well then, Mr. Scar-barrow, I say it's a deal.
(Shoeshine) **slightly raspy** Just bring her back.
I spy with my ghoulie eye, something that is yellow.
(Aglow) **echoey** Is it the sun?
Yep...so, where are we going? I was just picking a direction away from Recurrence. I need you to point the way.
(Aglow) **echoey** You have these powers too, my child.
I...um still can’t access the connection I have to the others. I can make you come and go, maybe read another’s mind….though I squint my eyes at the pony in question, so they’d know.
(Aglow) **echoey** There will come a day, perhaps soon, where you will no longer have me here. You should learn to use your power.
What? Aglow, you're my closest friend. I’ll never not need you.
(Aglow) **echoey** It is nice to hear you say that, but kids grow up and imaginary friends fade. Though for now, I will help. **gasp** I sense the strongest connections to the north. 3 in the wind shear wastes of what once was the Crystal Empire. 3 down south in the heart of the badlands. 2 east in Hoof – I mean the Lunar Commonwealth. The last are out west, but I can only sense 1 of them in Salt Lick City. The last 6 must be out of range of our power.
So which is closest?
(Aglow) **echoey** The Badlands via New and Old Appleoosa, but–
That’s where Screwy is directing ponies to look for me.
(Aglow) **echoey** Next closest would be east. We can probably get a boat in Friendship City.
The statue of Friendship! I remember going on a field trip there once. Remember? Skedaddle got lost and we got home an hour late. Mom was worried….dad…**whimper**sniffle**
(Aglow) **echoey** Do not think of such things, you made it away from them. I am sure this trip will end better. We will see the sights, get a boat and be in the Hoof in a few days.
Right, let’s get moving. Back to our game. I spy with my ghoulie eye, something brown.
*sigh* I made it to Friendship City. I miss busses. Back when I came here with school, it was only a 3 hour bus ride. Also I had to send Aglow away.
\\**//SILENCE\\**//
I know I can still hear you in my head! But the pipbuck can’t hear you. It just makes me sound crazy. I’m not, Aglow is real.
\\**//SILENCE\\**//
**distant frantic hoofsteps**
Yes, yes, I know. I sent you away to keep a low profile...and talking to myself is not helping. Ok, docks docks, need to find the doc–
(Guard Pony) Stop thief!
(Unknown Zebra Colt) Out of the way rotter!
Huh?
**series of thuds and crashes**
(Unknown Zebra Colt) Fuck, why didn’t you move?!
Um..yes, I will. Sorry, you were in such a hurry and I was distracted.
(Unknown Zebra Colt) Well, watch out next time. Now I really gotta–
(Guard Pony) I got you now!
(Unknown Zebra Colt) Shit!
**magic sound**
(Guard Pony) You’re not getting away.
Wha?
(Guard Pony) Thank you miss for helping me stop this little shit.
I’m very confused.
(Guard Pony) **muttering** Right, some ghouls are not all there. **normal** This zebra stole a box of sugar apple bombs. You helped me get the bastard.
(Unknown Zebra Colt) I didn’t? I mean... I’m innocent. I was just bringing it to her. She forgot to give me the caps for it.
(Guard Pony) Really now?
Yes, I sent him for the box. I thought I gave him the caps for it. I’m a ghoul, I’m sometimes not all there and can be forgetful.
(Guard Pony) Is this true?
(Unknown Zebra Colt) Um yes, 100%. I’m her caretaker when she goes out. Uhh…
**whisper** Static Spark.
(Unknown Zebra Colt) Miss Sparks would get lost without my help. Sorry for the trouble. She has the caps for it, honest.
(Guard Pony) Well its 24 caps for the box. And about 100 caps in assorted damage from the chase. Oh and 26 caps so I don’t arrest you both anyways.
**whispering** Yes I know that’s all I have, hush Ags. **normal** Here you go kind security guard.
(Guard Pony) Yeah, whatever.
**receding hoofseps**
(Unknown Zebra Colt) Ok, all bite, why did you go with my lie?
I’m actually not sure. I never usually lie to adults. Guess I didn’t want to see you go to jail. You would have gotten away had I not been in your way. **whisper** yes, I know stealing is bad. He's too young to do time.
(Unknown Zebra Colt) Well, I owe you one. Anything you need, I can help. My name’s Zim Zee. I know this city inside out and topside. I know who you should buy from and who will rip you off. I know the best places to hide and best way around too.
Well, I was here to secure passage to Hoofington on a boat...but I just used all my caps feeding your lie.
(Zim Zee) Hoofington? Why you heading there?
I’m not a normal ghoul. **ethereal chime** I can project things like this...this is Aglow, my imaginary friend.
(Aglow) **echoey** Hello little Zebra.
(Zim Zee) Holy shit! An earth pony who can do magic!? Ain’t that interesting.
I’m looking for others like me. Well sort of, we all were given a drug called Cortex-a-something before being ghouls. Gave us extra abilities. Aglow here can sense the others. Some might be in the Hoof.
(Zim Zee) Well if it's passage you need, I can grant you an audience with Rad C. Though my owned favor ends there. He might be able to strike a deal to get you to Hoofington. He might find a way to make your glowing friend useful.
Lead the way, and pass the apple bombs.
(Zim Zee) what? Why?
Because I bought them.
(Zim Zee) So? I stole them.
(Aglow) **echoey** How about you share, sweetheart?
(Zim Zee) Ok, Spark, let me do the talking. It's sort of a secret the Calzones are in Friendship at all. You want to live another day of you will follow my lead.
Ok, ok. Yes, Aglow this is the best way to get passage on a boat.
(Zim Zee) Yeah, avoid talking to yourself in there too. Crazy ghouls are bad business.
**door opening**door closing**
(Unknown Pony) Who goes there? Better be here for a god reason.
(Zim Zee) Rad C...Um...Radical Carnage...its me, Zim Ze–
(Radical Carnage) Ah the fucking zeeb delinquent. My sources in the guard say you've been stealing again. We don’t want you getting caught. Ya get caught, the city finds out about our operation. You are a liability, I should have shot you the day your shit fam left you on the docks.
He came with me to ask a favor.
(Zim Zee) Spark, no!
(Radical Carnage) You brought an outsider! Glock, shoot to kill! Both of them.
**ethereal chime**
(Aglow) **Echoey** You will not hurt my charge!
(Glock) **Pained screaming** Boss she set me on fire! **more pained screaming**
(Radical Carnage) Hmmm, intriguing. An earth pony who can make my bodyguard think he’s on fire. How did you do that?
(Aglow) **Echoey** You were supposed to be seeing and feeling that too. Few can see through my...our power.
(Radical Carnage) That’s my secret, miss–
(Aglow) **Echoey** Aglow, but my charge, Static Spark, speaks for me.
(Radical Carnage) Well, well, you have my attention.
I...I need passage to The Hoof.
(Radical Carnage) That all? Rather mondrian, easy even. It just so happens a boat is set to departure this afternoon.
I don’t have any caps.
(Radical Carnage) Let’s trade a favor for a favor. Quid pro quo if you will.
(Aglow) **Echoey** Be weary my child, these ponies don’t have the best intentions.
What do you need?
(Radical Carnage) Well the boat we are so graciously allowing you passage on it will be carrying some merchandise for the family in the Lunar Commonwealth. I ask you see this package to its destination at Hoofington University. If anypony tries to look into the product have your glowing illusion make it appear to be something common...dealer’s choice.
I agree to your terms.
(Radical Carnage) Good. Tell no pony where we operate from here. Zim Zee, you shall go too. Kill anypony whom might have true sight like myself and can see through her illusions.
(Zim Zee) Y–yes sir!
(Radical Carnage) Return to the market. Glock will help with buying any supplies.
**long suffering sigh** I feel duped. I don’t like feeling duped. I went to New Appleoosa and none of the ponies there even heard of the target. So I returned to get answers.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy**whimper** Please, I told you what I know. She went towards Appleoosa.
LIES! **smack** You told me she went to NEW Appleoosa, not OLD Appleoosa. Who are you covering for? Raiders? Slavers? I don’t tolerate either.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** I was just trying to be a cool aunt. I’m sorry.
Sorry won’t get my time back or cost your sister any less caps. You ready to tell the truth?
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Yes, I did follow her like I said, but she was heading to Friendship City, not New Appleoosa.
This better not be another wild filly chase.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Its not, get the recorder in my bag and play the latest recording.
**soft click**
(Aglow) **echoey**at a distance** It is nice to hear you say that, but kids grow up and imaginary friends fade. Though for now, I will help. **gasp** I sense the strongest connections to the north. 3 in the wind shear wastes of what once was the Crystal Empire. 3 down south in the heart of the badlands. 2 east in Hoof – I mean the Lunar Commonwealth. The last are out west, but I can only sense 1 of them in Salt Lick City. The last 6 must be out of range of our power.
(Static Spark) **very slightly raspy**at a distance** So which is closest?
(Aglow) **echoey**at a distance** The Badlands via New and Old Appleoosa, but–
(Static Spark) **very slightly raspy**at a distance** That’s where Screwy is directing ponies to look for me.
(Aglow) **echoey**at a distance** Next closest would be east. We can probably get a boat in Friendship City.
(Static Spark) **very slightly raspy**at a distance** The statue of Friendship! I remember go-
**soft click**
Why record this?
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** I planned to go after her, but not to bring her back. To help her. Never expected Shoe to hire some griffon like you. Didn’t expect to get tied up and tortured. Reminds me of my time as Hawk.
"Hawk" huh?
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Yeah.
I was once told by a client that I owed my life, as well as theirs, to a pony named Hawk. I’ve just dealt with far too many pony trafficking cases in my time. My own Talon Company willingly “escorted” captured ponies for years. Not all captives wear explosive collars.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Well untie me and get me a healing potion so we can go after her.
You seem rather blasé about working with the guy who just tortured you.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Issue of my own doing. I could have told you the truth from the beginning.
**soft ripping sound**drinking sound**
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** So what did happen to your Talon Company?
Killed them when I found out. Gregorian Grindelwald, my superior, got away...back to some Calzone family. I will find him again some day. Let's get going.
(Aglow) **Echoey** She is still under the weather, yes.
**Puking sounds** There is no food in my stomach, I literally do not have to eat and never get sick. Where is **more puking sounds** it all coming from?
(Zim Zee) Sorry, not a doctor. I wouldn’t know where to begin with ghouls anyways.
I think it has something to do with necro **even more puking sounds** mancy. Fucking goddesses.
(Aglow) **Echoey** Watch your language!
(Zim Zee) I know even less about necromancy. That’s more a Starkatteri thing.
**whining** Stooooop it!
(Zim Zee) What?
**whining** Not being sea sick.
(Zim Zee) Can’t help it, I’m part Atoli, Atori, Estoli, or Estori... Whatever, My ‘Native tongue' is not my native language. My parents mentioned being part of one of those tribes or something...before I was abandoned. Means I’m destined to be on the open seas and I’m immune to being sea sick.
**whining** Aglow, do something about Zee, please?
(Zim Zee) No, no, no, no stand down glow lady. **gaging**puking sounds**
(Aglow) **Echoey** But not immune to vertigo, it seems.
(Zim Zee) **whining** I fucking hate heights....
(Glock) You igits stop messing around, we’ll be in port soon. Time to act like civilized folk. Aglow you need to git gone, but be ready to cover our contraband.
(Aglow) **Echoey** You could have asked nicely.
(Glock) Radical don’t pay me to be nice to fillies, stripes and illusions.
**ethereal chime**
(Glock) And turn that recorder off little ghoulie.
How did you–
(Glock) I have my ways. Once we make land, ya gonna have to delete any recording since Friendship.
I’m documenting my–
(Glock) There is a reason no pony knows of the Calzones. No evidence or no witnesses. Yer choice.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** No we are gonna help her and try to keep her safe.
You are not my client. I’m letting you tag along to repay a debt. My objective has not changed, however, It allows leeway to help her with whatever task–
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** She’s looking for more ghouls like her and myself. And I’m Shoey’s sister, I count as a client.
**long suffering sigh**
Client: Sundae, Shoeshine...and Screwloose
Location: Fetlock, Manehatten
Primary Objective: Locate Target.
Secondary Objective: Accompany and protect Target as she locates other...um…
Secondary Objective: Accompany and protect Target as she locates other Cortexaphan Ghouls
Tertiary Objective: Bring Target back, alive.
Target: Static Spark
Happy?
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Yes, Mr. Grumpy. So why aren’t we going directly to Friendship City?
Well your...good natured, but annoying ruse, put us days behind her. By now she would have gotten passage from Friendship City to Hoofington. DJ Pon3 owes me a favor. Hoping to get a look at his setup for signs of where to find her.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Pretty sure DJ Pon3 is actually a mare. She just uses a voice changing spell.
I’ve met him, it's a he.
(Unknown Pony) Allow me to settle the argument, it's both. Depends on when though. The Original was a mare, and it's kind of fluctuated back and forth over the years. Since Vapor Wave they have used a voice change spell or an enchanted mic – never really got the chance to ask – to sound the same for years. Vapor, Loudspeaker, Homage and now K-Pop have used this method.
Ok, and who are you?
(Unknown Pony) A concerned observer. Static Spark is in grave danger and only Screwloose can save her. Screwy will not make it without you Scarbarrow Grindlewald. Heading to Tenpony will be your end at the hooves of raiders.
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Hold on, do I know you? You seem familiar.
What do you mean “my end”? Speak or it will be yours.
(Unknown Pony) Killing me will make you miss your ride.
**approaching wing and skycart noises**
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** Hey I think I see Ditzy.
**Odd swishing sound**
Where did he go?!
(Screwloose) **incredibly raspy** I don’t know, but he did warn of raiders. Go flag Ditzy down, Grumpy Bird!