1. - The Mission

Simple. Unremarkable. Baked Bean.

For most of his life, the three had been synonomous…sinomomous…very nearly the same. He had been born and raised in a small and unremarkable town, he had very normal interests and hobbies, and he had never thought that he would amount to anything more than what he already was. He had always considered himself to be of average intelligence, average strength, and average looks, but he was slightly taller than most other ponies that he knew. He even considered the tone of his voice to be average -somewhere in the mid tenor range, perhaps- and when he added himself up, the total always seemed to equal nothing more and nothing less than common.

But as he limped his way through the grand entrance and spacious foyer of Princess Twilight Sparkle’s new castle, he was once again reminded that his life had been given a rather violent shove out of the common, and he had been sent crashing, nose first, into the wonderful and fantastically frightening world of the Royal. Being forced to marry Princess Celestia over a long-forgotten law had proved to be only the tip of the sensational iceberg, and he wondered for a moment how long it would take before defeating impossibility itself became mundane and routine.

“Princess Celestia, Princess Luna!” Twilight called out, and she offered a broad smile while she and the Element Bearers bowed before them.

“Please rise, my friends,” Celestia replied with a return smile. “I wish we could have made this visit under better circumstances, but time is of the essence. We must find a way to reach Sunset Shimmer as soon as possible.”

Twilight lifted a wing and took a quick glance at her flank. “I agree, but there’s something else that we need to show you first.”

Bean lagged behind the group, hissing in a breath with each step of his injured rear leg, and it only took a few moments for him to get seperated from the crowd in the cavernous hallway. While he loved his Celly more than anything else in Equestria - his own life included - he was now forced to pay a rather painful price for that love, and he simply couldn’t move as quickly as he wanted to anymore. Tirek’s theft of all Equestrian magic had enticed him into a rather disastrous stand against the tyrant in Ponyville, and the Everfree Forest had not been very forgiving when the Prince of the Sun had been sent hurtling into the middle of it.

Bean let out a small yelp when a golden aura wrapped around him and gently lifted him into the air, but he smiled when Celestia levitated him back to the rest of the group. There was a look of deep concern among all who were assembled, but none were as deep as the radiant and resplendent Princess of the Sun.

“Sorry,” Bean offered. “I’m afraid my leg is having an argument with the rest of me. You should all just go on. I’ll catch up eventually.”

“Absolutely not,” Celestia proclaimed. “You did not cheat death twice just to be left behind in a hallway. We have enough time to make accommodations for you.”

Bean didn’t argue the point, but he also felt like dead weight. Princess Celestia had explained about the group of sirens that Starswirl the Bearded had banished, and he had no problems in believing that Sunset Shimmer would need a Princess-sized assist to deal with them. However, this meant that Baked Bean, being the crippled, common earth pony that he was, could offer absolutely no assistance to the current issue. In his own mind, his wife should have just left him back in Canterlot, where he wouldn’t be in the way and he wouldn’t make another foolhardy decision that would endanger the whole of Equestria.

Doing so once in a lifetime was far over any pony’s allotment, and yet he had two instances on his permanent record already.

The third time was not going to be the charm.

* * ✹ * *

Baked Bean tried to contain himself when the large double doors to the new crystalline throne were opened. He really did.

But the gap between his entrance and his own giddy giggling could not even be described as a pregnant pause.

The little author in his brain struggled to come up with the appropriate adjectives, adverbs, and whatever other ads existed to properly describe the room before him. To say that the six thrones were hewn from the very essence of harmony itself only captured a small fraction of the true majesty, and calling the carved diamonds that dangled from the broad tree branches as exquisite was like saying the stars shone at night. All of his literary practice and all of Celestia’s attempts to broaden his language skills had not prepared him for this task, and that deficit was now frustrating him to no end. Even the engraved cutie marks on each of the thrones seemed to be just the perfect final touch, and Bean wished once more that he had a way to describe what he was seeing.

The most remarkable and curious part of the decor, however, was a large round table that occupied the space in front of the thrones, and as Bean was levitated closer, he found that a complete and detailed map of Equestria was somehow being projected onto the surface of it. He quickly identified Canterlot, Manehattan, and the other major cities of Equestria, and it only took a moment for him to find a smattering of houses that represented his own humble hometown of Salt Lick.

“Curiouser and curiouser,” Luna remarked, while Bean was gently placed on the ground.

“And that’s not even the half of it!” Rainbow Dash announced, and she pointed to a hovering set of cutie marks, each seemingly from one of the Element Bearers. “Check it out! It’s like the map wants to send us somewhere totally awesome!”

Bean squinted at the nondescript hills underneath the floating cutie marks, and his hoof rubbed his chin. “That looks familiar. I almost want to say that…”

“That what?” Twilight pressed.

“What was her name?” Bean racked his mind, but for the life of him he couldn’t think of it. He had no trouble recalling her demeanor; she had been so unsettlingly odd that it would be impossible to forget. With just a hint of...hint? Hint. That was familiar, and he began to build on it. Hint ...Glint? Flint? Definitely not. If Bean ever forgot that little maniac’s name, he’d need to be committed somewhere. Glinty … Glim … Glimmer? Yes! Glimmer!

“Starlight Glimmer,” he said softly. “That’s where that perpetually smiling unicorn wanted to build her screwball commune. Just to the northwest of Manehattan, well off the beaten path and away from any regular supply lines.”

“But why would the Tree of Harmony want us to go to her village?” Twilight asked.

“I’m not sure, but I could take a few guesses,” Bean replied. “We all got a creepy vibe from her. I thought Discord was going to keep an eye on her for me, though.”

“Did I say that?” Discord replied, and Fluttershy let out a small cheer when he slithered over the top of her chair and settled into her seat.

“You did,” Bean replied while the draconequus shared a hug with Fluttershy and a glare with Rainbow Dash.

“I remember you saying you would, Discord,” Fluttershy added in a firm tone. “Be honest.”

Discord then shrank down small enough to hide behind one of Fluttershy’s wings and he tilted a Stetson hat down over his eyes. “Well, ah do declare. If’n ah must tell the truth, ah haven’t checked in on her in the last few … um, let’s see. When did I last drop in on her?”

“I’m glad I didn’t give up any of my borns with this deal,” Bean remarked dryly while Celestia’s wings wrapped a bit tighter around her sides.

“Okay, so I admit that I haven’t followed through on my end of the bargain. But! I am here now to help make amends, mon capitaine. Just give the word, and I’ll bring down my full chaotic wrath on whomever needs to be smoted! Smitten! Or is is smited? Smitten sounds better.”

“But what if this is a call for help?” Fluttershy added. “Maybe Starlight needs us to fix something. What if there’s been an outbreak of parasprites, or there’s a group of bufogen that got lost in their city?”

“If it was them little parasprite varmints, they’re probably needin’ some vittles to replace what they lost.” Applejack pointed to the area around Our Town. “And seein’ how it’s a new settlement, they probably haven’t been able to get a harvest in yet.”

“There’s a lot of different things it could be,” Twilight finished. “But since the map wants us to go there, how am I supposed to help Starlight and my friends at Canterlot High?”

“Well, you can’t help them anyway,” Rainbow Dash remarked. “The portal’s gonna stay closed for, like, a super long time.”

“I believe it may be possible to open the portal,” Celestia said. “Since the magic that connects the two journals provides a connection between dimensions, we should be able to amplify and expand it.”

Twilight’s eyes darted back and forth for a moment, but then a grin of delight appeared. “That’s it! I think I know how to amplify the magic! I’ll just need a few things …”

“But we still have the problem of Twilight needing to be in two places at the same time,” Rarity pointed out while Twilight trotted away. “It could take quite some time to subdue those dreadful sirens.”

“I will go,” Celestia said with the blaze of resolve shining in her eyes. “Sunset may have rejected me, but I have never rejected her. I will go and offer my assistance.”

“I do not believe that would be wise, sister,” Luna cut in. “You are with foal, and there is no way of knowing if the transformative magic would be detrimental to Epiphany’s development.”

“I have to agree with Princess Luna, Your Highness,” Rarity said. “We certainly don’t want anything to happen to you or to your daughter, and I am sure sirens are no trifling matter.”

“I will go in your stead.” Luna stated the fact with no room for negotiations on the matter. “If the portal can remain open, I will be able to return here for additional support and to consult with you, sister, on the best course of action. Should the worst come to pass, I shall send for a platoon or two of the Royal Guard.”

“I cannot ask you to do this for me, dear sister.” Celestia took a step back and allowed Twilight to pass by with several random trinkets in her magic. “Even in their weakened state, the dark magics of the sirens could be dangerous.”

“I hope you’re not suggesting that I would be susceptible because of my past,” Luna replied with a coy smirk.

“No, not at all. I am simply saying that we do not know how Equestrian magic works in a different dimension. Besides,” Celestia’s head dipped slightly, and her ears folded back. “I have asked you to solve too many of my problems as it is.”

“To be fair, you have not asked me for anything like this in over a thousand years,” Luna said with a small grin. “And you did not ask. I am volunteering to do this, of my own free will.”

Celestia smiled back to her beloved sister. “Then it is settled, I suppose. Twilight will travel to Our Town while you determine how to best assist Sunset Shimmer. Bean and I will provide whatever assistance we can from here.”

Both Royal Sisters then watched on in silent awe while Twilight finished constructing her device. The youngest Princess was both precise and efficient in her work, and it took only a few minutes for her to assemble the various wires, rollers, and conductors into an impressive contraption.

“Are you sure this is gonna work, Twilight?” Rainbow asked.

“Of course! It’s simple. The thaumological oscillations can be isolated with a simple application of the isolinear coefficients to the broadwave and bi-wave variables, and with that a simple amplification can be deduced by calculating the feed rate of the oscillations by two multiplied with the variables over the vector of z cubed divided by c, with z as the constant viscosity and c as the relative points interval, and the interval between the two points is defined as the square root of the sum of the squares of the separation between the points along three spatial dimensions!” Twilight gleefully announced.

This was met with silence and confused stares from Twilight’s friends.

“Say what now?” Spike asked.

“Duh!” Pinkie Pie replied. “She’s gonna take the magic in here,” she pointed to Celestia’s journal, “and put it in there,” she said from behind the mirror, just before she pointed to the surface and then moved around to the front. “That’ll make the portal open up so that whenever she wants to, she can go from here,” she nudged the book upright with her nose “to there,” she did a cartwheel in front of the mirror, then began popping up between the two. “There to here. Here to there. Here there! Here there! Here—”

“I think we get the idea,” Applejack cut her off.

“Now, to see if it works.” Twilight levitated Celestia’s journal to the top of her device, and almost instantly, the ingrained magic leapt from the cover to the receiver nodes on the either side. There was a round of oohs while the magic progressed through the rollers, along the wiring, and down to the portal, and a collective “ahh” came when the portal surged to life with a bright burst of light.

“What can I expect to find in this other world, Twilight Sparkle?” Luna asked.

“You’ll probably want to avoid interacting with the students,” Twilight replied while tapping a hoof to her chin. “Your counterpart there is the Vice Principal, and it could get confusing for them, and for you.”

“A Principal of Vice, how peculiar this world is,” mused Luna. “Perhaps I can use this to my advantage. Not in that way, dearest sister,” she added while intentionally ignoring Celestia’s cringing expression. “However, it would be wise to make contact with Sunset Shimmer first and to perform some reconnaissance. Once I know exactly what we are up against, I will know what resources will be needed.”

“Bean and I will provide whatever you need, sister,” Celestia replied. “But I hate to have you do this. I know you have a hard time sleeping in a strange bed, so we’ll need to get your sleeping mask before you go. You should probably avoid drinking the local water, too; most public buildings lack a robust filtration system like what we have in the palace. I will send word to Cadence and ask Shining Armor to prepare for an assault, should you determine one is warranted. Twilight, you and your friends should leave as soon as possible for Our Town. I fear that something is greatly amiss, and I believe it would be unwise to allow this summons to go unanswered for any longer.”

“Looks like it’s time for a road trip, girls,” Twilight said with a determined grin.

Celestia nodded. “Bean, we should… where did he go?”

“Oh, he tootled through the mirror while you were all busy discussing what to do,” Discord casually replied.

“He WHAT?!”

* * ✹ * *

2. - A Brave New World

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Afternoons at Canterlot High were normally a very active time, thanks in no small part to Principal Celestia’s desire to have an abundance of extracurricular activities for the student body. At the moment, though, almost all of the activity on campus was centered squarely on the upcoming Battle of the Bands. Nearly every corner and alcove was filled with students practicing while demanding they each perform better, and each band was convinced that, with just a bit more effort, they could emerge triumphant and claim all of the glory of being the Top Act, along with any secondary perks that may come with such an honor.

The word almost had to be used, however, because there were six students who were simply lounging around and on top of the Wondercolt statue that doubled as the portal to the world of Equestria. For the Rainbooms, their immediate concern - and the reason for their apparent apathy - was because they awaited a reply - and a possible solution - from their pony princess friend in another dimension.

Of course, the tight-knit group still found small ways to occupy the time. Rarity was generously providing Fluttershy with a simplified manicure, Applejack and Pinkie Pie matched both wit and luck in a no-risk game of gin rummy, and Rainbow Dash idly bounced a soccer ball while sitting next to Sunset Shimmer and staring off into the distance.

Sunset, for her part, flipped through the pages of her journal, having little else to do while waiting for a response. It would be moons... or months, in her current location, before the portal could be opened, so scratching notes back and forth was about all the support she could expect.

Unless Twilight found a way to open it prematurely. Her friends believed that their Equestrian friend would be able to do so, but Sunset knew how magic really worked, and had her doubts.

There was a possibility her message would be intentionally ignored, but Sunset firmly put that out of her mind. Her former teacher and princess was better than... well, than herself. Despite the bitter and hateful separation, Celestia would never hold a grudge or withhold assistance out of spite.

Finally, Sunset came to the last entry she had written before fleeing to this world. She had been so arrogant and so self centered back then, blind to the truth and to the warnings Celestia was trying to impart. The power she had craved had led her down a path of ruin and destruction, and she was only now beginning to straighten out her life with the help of her new Canterlot High friends.

Sadly, it seemed that it was going to take the rest of her high school years - and probably all of her college career as well - to overcome her former reputation and to gain forgiveness for her actions.

Sunset snapped the book shut while Rainbow Dash sighed. “I’m starting to think she’s not coming.”

“Ah’m sure she’ll be along shortly, Dash,” Applejack replied from her perch on the statue. “We just need to be patient. If there’s a way to force the portal open, Twilight’ll find it.”

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps, and Sunset glanced up just in time to see a familiar administrator with technicolor hair before them. “Good afternoon, ladies! I’m a bit surprised you’re not practicing.”

“Principal Celestia?” Sunset stood and met the curious gaze of her current ruler. “We were just waiting for someone.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah!” Rainbow added. “She’s an old friend from out of town.”

“Very out of town,” Rarity said with a smirk.

“I see,” Celestia replied with a small chuckle. “And how long do you plan to wait here for our Princess of the Fall Formal?”

“I guess we could be waitin’ for a while,” Applejack said softly. “I thought Twilight would be here by now.”

“Excuse me!” another voice rang out. “Principal Celestia!”

“Oh, Mister Bean!” Celestia smiled warmly as the school’s new dietitian finished jogging up to them. “I thought you had gone home for the day.”

“I was just on my way out, but I noticed that you didn’t sign off on next month’s meal plans,” he replied while he caught his breath.

Celestia huffed and glared playfully at the earnest employee, and one hand went to her hip. “I thought I did sign off on that.”

“I thought you did, too, but I just got a tweet from Granny Smith saying otherwise. I won’t be able to get the school’s order in until you do.”

“Heaven forbid we have a school full of starving teenagers.” Celestia shook her head. “I’ll get it taken care of first thing in the morning.”

“Thank you, ma’am. I’ll make sure Granny Smith gets the updates as soon as you do.”

“Is there anything else I can assist you with?” Celestia asked with half-lidded eyes, and Mister Bean stumbled back a step with an audible gulp.

“N-no, ma’am. That was it. Thank you.”

“Are you sure?”

Sunset and her friends stifled a giggle when Mister Bean’s normally yellow face went beet red. “Oh, I’m sure I’ll find something, but … oh! Not like that! I mean with the meal plans! Good gravy, that’s all I need…”

Principal Celestia shook her head as Mister Bean staggered away and continued muttering something about his own impropriety. “All too easy.”

“I must say, you do seem to have a delightful fondness for tweaking our dutiful dietitian,” Rarity remarked. “Might there be an extra ingredient between you two?”

“I do believe that is none of your business, young lady,” Celestia replied with a sly grin. “But if you must know, the relationship between Mister Bean and myself is purely professional.”

“Is that right?” Applejack asked. “What about all them fancy breakfasts he’s been making for ya in the mornin’ before we get here?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow added. “I didn’t even know that there was such a thing as eggplant and walnut frittata until I asked him about your meal this morning.”

Celestia’s grin became a soft and pleased smile. “Just because I get here on time to get everything prepared for your day, doesn’t mean there’s anything going on between us that could be considered inappropriate. Those are sample dishes that he’s been preparing - on his own time, I might add - to see if they might be put on the menu for a future date - or rather time.”

“Ah see,” said Applejack. “Any other samples you been getting?”

“What my friend means, Principal Celestia,” said Rarity as forcefully as she could, with a quelling look at Applejack, “is that we all think he is rather charming. He’s obviously quite enamored with you, but is too humble to admit it. Perhaps if you were to give him the correct opportunity, with a private table at a restaurant, some wine, and a little discussion that does not involve the school menu, perhaps?”

Principal Celestia shook her head slightly. “Sorry, ladies. While I appreciate you taking an interest in my personal affairs, Mister Bean will remain as he is: a trusted and valuable member of the staff at Canterlot High.”

Sunset chuckled at bit at Rarity’s disappointed pout. Principal Celestia’s personality was nearly identical to her Equestrian counterpart’s, and Sunset was confident that the human Celestia would remain just as celibate as the pony princess was.

“However,” Celestia continued, “I could use your help. I have several boxes in my car that I need taken inside. Would you mind bringing in one or two for me while you wait?”

“Sure thing!” Applejack tossed down her cards and jumped from her perch on the statue with a smile. “I was tired of gettin’ whooped by Pinkie Pie anyway.”

* * ✹ * *

Baked Bean groaned as consciousness plowed into him like a loaded freight train bound for Dead Horse Point, and he rubbed the side of his head while his vision came into focus.

“Oo, that’s the last time I get anywhere near that mirror,” he muttered. “Where am I, anyway?”

Bean found that he was sitting, oddly enough, in the center of a concrete pathway of some sort. A large castle - or, what looked like a castle - towered before him, and he took a long moment to look around the grounds of this strange new world.

The author inside of him began to take furious notes on the architecture of the building before him, but that was quickly forgotten when a large ponyless carriage sputtered past on the nearby road with a thin plume of smoke emitting from the rear of it. Such a strange contraption! Did it work like the steam engines of Equestria, or did something else provide the means for locomotion? How far could it go? What did the youmuns of this world call this wonderful device?

Bean pushed himself up onto all fours with a grunt and a sharp twinge of pain from his rear leg, but that was instantly forgotten when he felt a peculiar and completely unfamiliar sensation in his front hooves. Instead of feeling a single point of contact with the ground, his brain began to receive information from multiple contact points.

He slowly looked down. A delirious grin began to spread.

There were not hooves at the end of his forelegs. There were claws. Real, genuine, honest-to-his-wife dragon claws, although somewhat shorter, blunter and softer than dragon claws should have been. In fact, they were very short claws on the end of very long digits, all fastidiously neat and clean. Claws. He was going to call them claws, even if they weren’t nearly as claw-y as what he would expect.

Baked Bean, at that point, let out a squeal of delight that he denied ever after.

It was still amazing! He quickly rocked back onto his rump to properly wiggle the fleshy digits at the end of his arms; he flapped them about with a flick of his fetlock - and even that wasn’t really a true fetlock anymore! - he poked one with another, pulled on the end one, and then he simply pressed them to his cheeks and giggled maniacally at the sensation. All that time, when he was trying to describe Megan’s features in his book, and he was so completely wrong! These things were awesome!

Baked Bean then ran his new claws over the rest of his face and head, and he tried to picture what he looked like in his mind. His face was rounder now, and his muzzle had shrunk down considerably. His eyes seemed to be smaller as well, but it was a bit hard to tell exactly. His ears had moved too, and he tugged on the slightly bean-shaped things on the sides of his head for a moment.

“Sweet sugar snickerdoodles, I wish I’d brought my notebook,” he muttered in glee while he felt his short, stubby neck. “Maybe I can find one here to use.”

“Bean? What are you doing?”

Baked Bean chuckled nervously and scooted a bit to face his wife. Though her voice remained as perfect as ever, he was quite interested to see how she had changed when she had followed him through the portal. There were similarities to her pony form, such as her overall height and her long, multi-hued mane, but this youmun version of her was quite different in most respects. Her coat - er, skin color was more grey and pink than the familiar white of home, and it was going to take him a long time to get used to her walking on two legs instead of four.

It was her eyes, though, that concerned him the most. They were still the familiar magenta, but there was something off about them…

“Are you alright?” she asked, and her claw reached down to him.

“Yeah, I think so,” he replied. He groaned in pain as he used her help to stand, and he rubbed around the brace on his upper leg for a moment. “I need to be more careful, I guess.”

“What happened to you?”

Bean didn’t reply immediately. He remembered Celestia had told him about the taboos youmuns had with clothing their bodies, and he took a moment to admire the black trousers and blue button down shirt he was wearing. He smiled when his new claw found and then gripped his Celestial Crystal that hung around his neck, and he was grateful it had survived the trip.

“I’m not quite sure what happened,” he answered while he looked himself over. “No worse for the wear though, it would seem. You, on the other hoof,” he leaned back, and smiled as he studied her new form and missed her uncomfortable frown, “You look as beautiful as ever.”

“Now wait a minute, Mister Bean,” Celestia folded her arms tightly and went straight back to the prim and formal princess that Baked Bean had seen far too much of. “I do not approve of…”

“Yeah...I jumped in when I should have waited.” Bean rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, but he secretly relished the bizarre tactile sensation that came through his cute little claws with the action. “I’m sorry, my love. I was curious, and now look what it got me, again.”

“‘My love?’” Celestia’s eye twitched. “Mister Bean! You are way out of line.”

“I know, I know!” Bean put as much effort into his apology as he could, because his wife sounded angry. She had even reverted to calling him ‘Mister,’ which was most certainly not a good sign. “I’m really sorry, honest. We can just go back now, because I don’t want to get in Luna’s way. I have to admit, there is one nice thing about here that you didn’t mention to me.” He reached up and kissed his wife on the lips, then rubbed noses with her with an added rub of her belly. “You don’t have to bend down for me to kiss you here.”

He was still smiling when Celestia decked him with a right hook to the jaw.

~*~

Princess Luna inhaled deeply when she finished stepping through the portal and took her first look at the world of the humans. It was just as bizarre as Twilight had said it was in her reports, but the feel of this place had been lost in the faithful student’s technical description.

Her evaluation of this peculiar land was cut short by an ear-splitting scream, and Luna whirled to the sound with her own screech and a flailing of her new limbs that was intended to scare off whatever had made that horrid noise.

“Sister!” Celestia grasped the none too stable Luna by the shoulders and shook her. “I was just kissed! By ... that!” The school principal pointed at where a stunned yellow pony was sitting uncomfortably in the grass, nursing his jaw. “I mean, he wasn’t like that when he kissed me! He was a person! What’s going on?!”

Luna looked down at Bean, bit her bottom lip, and considered her words carefully. “I do not know for sure, but I would suppose that Prince Bean does not have enough magic to maintain his transformation in stressful situations.”

“Magic?” Celestia looked at Luna like she had sprouted a second head, then down at the pony by her feet. “Prince?”

“I don’t think that’s my Celestia,” said Bean. “She must be whatever analog to Princess Celestia exists in this dimension.”

“It talks?” Celestia looked back and forth several times before her legs gave out, and she collapsed.

“Ooof!” said Bean. “I’m glad I caught her, but she’s heavier than she looks.”

* * ✹ * *

“Principal Celestia? Can you hear me?”

Celestia groaned in reply, and she put a hand on her head to hold her headache still. “Fluttershy?”

“Oh, thank goodness. You took a rather nasty fall, it looks like.”

Celestia’s eyes popped open as the memory of kissing a human … or horse ... or whatever that monstrosity had been came rushing back to her. “Fluttershy, is Mister Bean anywhere in sight?”

“Um, not that I can see, no.”

“Is there a talking yellow horse anywhere?”

Fluttershy frowned. “I don’t know if he can talk, but there is a little yellow pony not too far away. Vice Principal Luna is trying to get him untied, but Applejack won’t let him go.”

“What?” Celestia bolted upright, but she regretted the decision to do so when the grandmother of all headaches flooded over her brain like a tsunami. “Applejack caught him?”

“...such impertinence in all my life!” Luna proclaimed.

“Look, ah realize he’s kinda cute an all, but you gotta trust me on this,” Applejack replied. “Ain’t nothin’ worse than a rabid horse, and we gotta get Principal Celestia treated quick if’n she got bit. Now, it should only take Big Mac a couple of minutes to get over here, and once we get a blood sample—”

“Thou shalt not bleed this innocent!” bellowed Luna, nearly shaking loose Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie who were holding her by the arms. “Call off thy leeches! What manner of barbarian medical treatments dost thou have for a simple case of thaumic deficiency? He is not a rabbit, nor is he a threat!”

“What is going on?!” Celestia shouted over the din while she stood with Fluttershy’s help.

“We was over there when we heard a noise, and when we come over, we saw you down on the ground, wrastling with this pony, with Vice Principal Luna tryin’ to pull the two of you apart, like it done attacked you and knocked you silly. Well, RD done got your sister pulled away and ah wrapped the critter up in my lasso - bein’ right careful about its hindquarters and that brace - before your sister started screaming somethin’ about it kissing you. Well, ain’t no horse of no size gonna go smooching up to a person unless it’s diseased. Rarity is tryin’ to call an ambulance for you, but Sunset is insisting that this pony is from Twilight’s world.”

“As am I!” Luna added furiously. “We have come here to assist with the sirens that were spoken of in the magical journal by Sunset Shimmer, my sister’s former student! I will not allow you to harm Prince Baked Bean!”

Celestia felt a wave of relief when she saw that Applejack had somehow hogtied and muzzled the smoochy little pony monster, who was now struggling ineffectually against his bindings with a wide-eyed look of panic. “How do you know the name of this horse, sister?”

“Because he is my brother-in-law! He is about as dangerous as a breezie, and that’s only when he’s really upset!”

“What’s a breezie?” Fluttershy asked. “They sound adorable.”

“That’s not Vice Principal Luna!” Sunset added to the cacophony while she tried to snatch Rarity’s phone away and prevent a call to the police. “That’s Princess Luna! She’s from Equestria! Twilight must have sent her here!”

“But you look exactly like my sister,” Celestia replied. “I mean, almost exactly. I can’t remember the last time Luna wore a poodle skirt. How did you get your hair up into a bouffant, anyway?”

The Luna lookalike huffed, but then a smirk came to her. “Applejack, are you sure you have the ‘rabid pony’ secure? He appears to be escaping.”

“What?! Oh no you don’t, you cussed little var…”

A stunned silence overcame the assembled group. The yellow pony in the grass had disappeared somehow, and had been replaced by a human who was picking his way out of the ropes with a grimace of pain on his face.

“Mister Bean?” Applejack stooped down and began to help untangle the dietitian. “How’d you do that? And what’d you do to your leg?”

“I’m not the Bean you know,” he quietly replied. “We came here from Equestria, just like Princess Luna said.”

Sunset stood before Luna and bowed her head in respect. “I’m sorry, Your Highness. Please forgive their enthusiasm in protecting this side of the mirror’s Celestia and ... wait a minute. What do you mean, ‘brother-in-law?’”

* * ✹ * *

For the second time that day, Sunset Shimmer found herself in Principal Celestia’s office with her friends, but for the moment, she had forgotten completely about the Dazzlings.

“I can’t believe Princess Celestia got married!” Sunset Shimmer pressed her hands against her temples while she paced the room and tried to comprehend this news. “Why didn’t she tell me?! I mean, I’ve got this magic journal that we can write back and forth in, and she doesn’t even tell me she got married? I could have…” Sunset slowed to a halt, and eventually put forward, “Bought them a toaster or something. Stop snickering, Rainbow.”

“My sister has made it clear that your departure was anything but amiable,” Princess Luna replied while busying herself with unlocking the secrets of the small coffee maker on the nearby credenza. “And there are several entries in the journal which implore you to return in quite heartfelt terms. I am confident she did not write because she felt that you had ceased to care.”

“And you say this marriage happened after the Fall Formal?” Rarity asked.

“Yes, but it was early summer for us then,” Bean replied. He took a moment to find a comfortable spot in Celestia’s chair and relaxed once he propped his leg up on the pillow Rarity had provided. “I guess time runs different here, somehow.”

“So it would seem.” Principal Celestia made certain the door to her office was locked, and after a moment’s thought, stuck a chair under the knob. “The Fall Inferno... I mean Fall Formal was only a couple of weeks ago.”

“So why did you two come, and not Twilight?” Sunset asked, but then she gulped and withered a bit under Luna’s intense glare. “I mean, not that I’m ungrateful, Your Highness…”

“Twilight wanted to come, but she was needed somewhere else,” Bean replied with a small frown. “I think she’s fixing yet another one of my mistakes.”

“Stop that.” Luna thwapped him over the head with the manual to the coffee pot. “We do not know why Twilight Sparkle was needed. What we do know is that there is a potential threat that has come to this fair establishment.” She paused, sniffed the air, and then wrinkled her nose. “And this coffee smells horrible.”

“The taste matches the smell,” Celestia replied. “Luna - or, the Luna native to this world, that is - tells me it’s better with cream and sugar. Lots of sugar.”

“So, did Twilight say what we should do?” Rainbow asked.

“No, but she would be unable to offer any sound advice without full knowledge of the situation,” Luna replied. “That is why Prince Bean and I are here. Once we make sufficient observations, the solution should become obvious.”

“It’s a bit strange that they just showed up out of nowhere,” Bean mused. “Even with the time difference, the sirens were sent here a thousand odd years ago. Where have they been for so long, and why are they showing up now?”

“I believe Twilight Sparkle’s last visit may have something to do with it.” Luna tapped the carafe and frowned at the muddy brown liquid that was trickling into it. “Harmony is powerful magic indeed, and introducing it here may have permitted these sirens to regain their own dark magics.”

“I believe you are all overreacting,” Celestia replied in the clipped words of an administrator trying to gain control of a troublesome situation. She folded her arms and regarded the inhabitants of her domain, both worldly and otherwise. “Royalty or not, I will not allow any of you to interfere with the upcoming contest.”

Bean hesitated as Principal Celestia’s eyes flashed green for a brief moment before glancing over to Luna, who nodded slowly. “Neither of us want to cause problems, Cel— er, ma’am. We just want to make sure that if the sirens are here, they are dealt with appropriately. If the Dazzlings are not our sirens, we will return home without incident.”

“You will?” Celestia glared at Luna, but the visiting Princess nodded.

“Cross our hearts, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in our eyes.”

Pinkie Pie suddenly began to giggle and snort. “I like that! It’s lots better than dying and getting stabbed by needles.”

“Very well,” said Celestia. “I’m sure you will find nothing amiss, but you are welcome to observe, so long as that is all you do.”

“What Luna said,” Bean replied. “So, does anyone know where the Dazzlings are right now?”

“Oo! Oo! Pick me!” Pinkie stuck her hand in the air and waved it wildly.

“Yes?” Bean pointed to her as if he were a teacher in one of the classrooms.

“There’s a big party tonight for all the bands who signed up for the showcase. That would include the Dazzlings.”

Bean nodded. “I guess we’ll just have to wait until tonight, then. In the meantime, may I borrow your journal, Miss Shimmer?”

“I suppose so,” she replied with a shrug. “Why do you want it?”

Bean’s gaze went distant. “Well, I would like to let the Princess know that we arrived safely and that we have contacted you. She was really worried about you fighting the sirens.”

“She was?” Sunset asked softly. “Wow. I didn’t think … I mean, I assumed that she would still be upset with me, at least.”

Luna smirked. “My sister wanted to come herself, but it was agreed that travelling through the portal might endanger her pregnancy.”

Sunset froze, and one eye twitched. “Princess Celestia is pregnant?!”

“Indeed. Prince Bean and Princess Celestia are expecting to have a beautiful baby filly.”

“A foal?” Sunset’s voice was high, nearly a screech as she waved her book overhead. “Not only did she not tell me she was married, but she promptly went and got—”

“Careful,” cautioned Applejack.

Sunset bit back several words, eventually releasing, “Busy. I was going to say busy.”

“Not much better,” grumbled Applejack. “Keep digging.”

“And why not?” Luna asked. “Surely, it is within the rights of a husband and wife to share the pleasures of their bodies, to merge in the immortal dance of pleasure and procreation, and bring forth from their passions new life. Oh, and they plan on naming her Epiphany.”

Sunset tossed her journal on Celestia’s desk and turned for the door. “I’m going to need a minute. It’s all yours.”

“I think it would be wise for all of us to step out and get some air,” Principal Celestia announced.

“Indeed.” Luna nodded. “But once we have sent our report to my sister, perhaps we could trouble you to give us a tour of your fair school?”

Bean flipped Sunset’s journal open while Principal Celestia agreed to the tour, and he accepted the pen Pinkie Pie offered with a small thanks. Once everyone had filed out of the office, he took the pen in mouth and began to write.

Celly,
This is Bean. Luna and I have found Sunset Shimmer and we think we know where the sirens are.

He hesitated for a moment, but then continued.

I didn’t mean to go through the mirror, and I’m sorry. I will return home in just a few minutes.

“Oh, so you plan on abandoning me here?” Luna quipped.

“Yes. I’m not supposed to be here and we both know it. Celestia is going to be furious with me.” He paused, but then he added “Do you think she’ll use my tail for a violin bow, at least?”

Luna scoffed, and she tapped the page before them. “I think you’ll find that she has other plans for you.”

Bean winced in fear when he looked down at the glowing words that made up his beloved’s reply, but that was quickly replaced with confusion and wonder.

I love you, my dear Bean, and I am not upset with you. In fact, I am pleased you have joined Luna.

“She’s not mad?” Bean glanced up to Luna, who smiled and gestured back to the book with her cup of fresh coffee.

“Keep reading.”

You have followed your heart, and I believe you will be able to offer vital support. My former student can learn much from your own humble example. The forces of Harmony are at work in this, and I know you would not have gone through the mirror without that influence. Please keep me apprised of the situation, and I will provide you with whatever you deem necessary. Go forward with my love and my blessing, and when you return, I will ensure that there is a fair and generous reward for you.
Also, please tell Luna that I have asked the Royal Archivists to begin searching for any information that we have regarding the sirens. If they should find anything that will be of use, I will pass it on to both of you without delay.
With all my love,
Celly

“Ugh, my sister’s counterpart was right.” Luna pulled a disgusted face, and she frowned into her cup. “This is not coffee. I’m not even convinced this is appropriate for consumption.”

“Celly wants me to stay here with you,” Bean said while he reread the words thoughtfully. “She thinks there’s something I can teach Sunset Shimmer.”

“I agree. There is much you have to offer, and there is much good that you can accomplish.”

“But what can I do? I’m just a busted, broken-down commoner.”

“Perhaps.” Luna again tried to sample her drink, but she gave up after the taste of her foul concoction hit her tongue again. “Or, perhaps you are a pony who is wiser than you realize.”

Bean scoffed at her suggestion. “No, I’m not. I’m an impulsive idiot who doesn’t think his actions all the way through.”

“Your impulsive decisions have worked out well thus far.”

Bean snorted. “I think my bum leg would provide more than enough of an argument to the contrary.”

Luna tut-tutted quietly under her breath. “That is nothing more than an unfortunate complication. Consider that your impulsiveness had resulted in your marriage to my sister, it assisted Twilight Sparkle in her efforts to defeat Tirek, and you have befriended a changeling. I have personally watched nations rise,” Luna paused for a moment, and her gaze went a thousand yards beyond the end of her cup “and nobility fall on the power of friendship and the lack thereof. Your friend Thorax may prove to be of great value. If there is one changeling who is willing to change his ways, is it so hard to believe that there may be more?”

Bean grunted, but his eyes went back and forth in thought. “I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I still can’t help but feel like I screwed up with Tirek and Chrysalis.”

Luna smiled. “Let me share with you a very simple secret: it is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.”

Bean put a claw on his Celestial Crystal while he mulled over Luna’s words. “Is that really true?”

“It was your heart that led you to Celestia, after all. Do not disregard your feelings, Bean. My own downfall began when I became preoccupied with all of the ways I had been slighted, whether they were real or imagined. I forgot how to love, and was left with jealousy and spite. The lessons that can be learned here will go both ways, if you will allow it.”

Bean nodded slowly. “So, what should I do?”

“I think you and I should take a tour of this school,” Luna replied. “And then we should find something to eat.”

* * ✹ * *

3. - Revelations

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“So, I guess the next question is what should we do about Principal Celestia?” Baked Bean asked.

“You saw the spell at work, didn’t you?” Luna said, clearly impressed by his perception.

“Yeah. It really creeped me out.” Bean shuffled uneasily. “I saw that flash of green, and it reminded me of…”

Despite his desires to the contrary, his mind betrayed his better judgement and shoved him back to the changeling hive, where his wife’s perfect face had been little more than a mask for that fang-filled nightmare. He shuddered at the memory, and a sharp prick of pure fear stabbed his heart.

He couldn’t let this Celestia suffer as he had. This was a pain no living creature should be forced to carry.

A claw to his shoulder brought him back to Luna and the school, and his sister-in-law drove away his nightmare once more with her simple smile. “It would seem that this Celestia is bewitched, but I do not believe she is that far gone. The sirens are still weak, and this Celestia’s free will reflects that.”

“Do you think we can break the spell?”

Luna tapped her perfectly manicured claw tips against her chin and hummed. “That is a most worthy question, but have faith, Bean. We can defeat them, and we will. For now, it behooves us to keep our noses clean, so to speak, and to not tempt fate. No flower beds for you.”

“Ha, ha. Very funny.” Bean rolled his eyes.

Luna snickered a bit. “Forgive me, but I had to. In all seriousness, if we do not provoke any animosity, we should be well enough off. The sirens do not know we are here, and Principal Celestia will be considerate and kindly, if her personality is even a fraction of what our Celly’s is. Knowing the layout of this school and the surrounding area will provide us with valuable reconnaissance that will help us in our efforts as well.”

“Ever the warrior, aren’t you?” Bean smirked while they moved to the door.

“My Star Struck frequently said the same thing,” she replied with a soft grin. “It is as much a part of me as diplomacy is a part of Celestia, but I am most grateful that my skills go unused in this modern day.”

“Me too,” Bean said while he pulled the door open and exited the room.

“Everything alright?” Applejack asked.

“It is,” Bean replied. “Princess Celestia sends her regards, and she will provide whatever we need to help combat the sirens. If the sirens are here,” he added when Principal Celestia glared at him.

“Which they are not,” Principal Celestia added.

“So! How about that tour?” Bean clapped his claws together and rubbed them, then fought back the urge to giggle with the feedback from the new appendages. “I gotta admit, I’m super curious to learn all about this world. Twilight Sparkle hasn’t had a chance to tell me anything about her time here, and this’ll be good for my writing.”

“Writing?” Applejack asked. “Like, books and novels and such?”

“Yeah.” Bean chuckled. “In fact, that’s how I met Princess Celestia.”

“Huh.” Applejack glanced over to Rarity and Pinkie Pie, and they both smirked. “Our new school dietician fancies himself to be a writer, too.”

“He does?” Bean asked. “Maybe I could ask him for some tips.”

“I don’t think that would be wise,” Principal Celestia replied while the group exited the front office and entered the main foyer of Canterlot High. “Unless meeting yourself will not cause some sort of trans-dimensional singularity to occur.”

“Would that happen, Miss Shimmer?” Princess Luna asked.

Sunset glanced at her shoes. “Imagine every atom of your being exploding away from each other at the speed of light.” Sunset shrugged. “Or maybe nothing. We probably don’t want to risk it.”

“My counterpart works here?” Bean interjected with a small squeal of delight. “What does he do? I mean, does he really want to be a writer too? You gotta tell me all about him!”

“Ah don’t know that there’s much to tell,” Applejack replied. “He works as our dietician, he writes on the side as a hobby, and… well, that’s about all anybody knows about him. He doesn’t talk much to us, except about what he’s cooking up for our lunch menus.”

“There is an unsubstantiated rumor that he has a crush on a certain principal who happens to be in our midst.” Rarity added while glancing at her nails with a smirk.

“All right, that’s enough of that,” Principal Celestia shot back with an annoyed grin. “Rumors do not become us, do they, Miss Rarity?”

“I suppose not,” Rarity smugly replied before Bean staggered a step, then hissed in pain again while rubbing his leg.

“Oh my goodness! Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked, her eyes filled with concern. “That looks like it hurts quite a bit.”

“It’s nothing, just a bit sore is all,” Bean lied. “I admit my galloping days are probably behind me.” With a wince he bent his leg back and forth, and he groaned with the feeling of his muscles straining and popping in a way that was fast becoming familiar. “It wasn’t so bad when I had three other legs to shift the weight to, but in this form, I’m going to be pretty slow.”

Pinkie Pie scoffed. “Why didn’t you just say you need another leg? I’ll be right back!”

Bean watched on in fascination when the perky pink person zipped away, but he leaned towards Fluttershy. “Should I be worried?”

“Oh, no.” Fluttershy patted his shoulder gently and gave him a warm smile. “I bet Pinkie is going to come back with a cane, or something helpful like that.”

“So, why did you marry Princess Celestia, Your Highness?” Sunset asked Bean. “I didn’t think she’d ever be in a relationship.”

“That’s a funny story, actually,” Bean replied with a sheepish chuckle. “It started out in the sunflower patch of the Royal Gardens…”

* * ✹ * *

“So, you’re telling me you had to marry Princess Celestia because you booped her nose with yours?” Sunset folded her arms tightly and scoffed. “That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. And I watch television.”

“I’d be concerned if you didn’t find it suspicious, to be honest,” Baked Bean replied. “I’d jump on the doubtful bandwagon myself if it hadn’t happened to me. My own parents doubted my story at first, and I had Princess Celestia in the room with me at the time, to boot.”

“But why would Princess Celestia write such a crazy law?”

“It’s another long story,” Bean replied with a wistful smile, and Luna chuckled. “The short answer is she wrote it to get out of a bad marriage proposal when she and Princess Luna founded Equestria. Luna can tell you more about it than I can, since she was there and everything.”

“Perhaps another time,” Luna added. “We have more pressing concerns at the moment. However, I believe the story of the Marriage Clause would be best heard straight from the pony who wrote it, would it not?”

Sunset glanced to the floor with a deep frown. “I don’t know if I can ever go back. When I left, I burned the bridge, ripped out the remaining supports, and made the chasm a thousand feet wider than it had been before. I’m sure Princess Celestia hates me.”

“But you brought the book,” Bean replied while he handed her journal back to her. “The list of things that Celestia hates is very short, and I’m sure you’re not on it. In fact, when she first told me about you, she blamed herself for what had happened.”

“She did?” Sunset glanced at the journal she held in her hands. “Why doesn’t she hate me?”

“I’m sure she would love to answer that herself, once all of this is over,” Bean said. “The real question, I think, is are you afraid of her, or afraid of the answer?”

“Here we go!” Pinkie Pie reappeared, and just as Fluttershy had predicted, she presented a cane to the injured Prince. “This should help you out!”

“Thank you, Pinkie Pie,” Bean replied with a quick glance over the matte black surface, and he let out a large sigh of relief as he tried a few steps with it. “That’s much better.”

Pinkie Pie smiled and let out a small squee of delight. “Shall we get on with the tour?”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Princess Luna replied. “Please lead on, Principal Celestia.”

Celestia nodded, and she motioned towards a hallway. “Let us start with our auditorium, Your Highnesses. Canterlot High has a long and rich history with the arts and music, and several of our students have gone on to prestigious appointments in the world’s greatest symphonies and orchestras.”

“There’s still not enough places to practice,” Rainbow Dash added. “All the good spots are booked up solid, so The Rainbooms have to keep moving around to work on our new songs. If we had any,” she grudgingly admitted.

“I have a song we can play,” Fluttershy quietly interjected, but her suggestion went unheeded by the rest of the band.

“...and I dunna know how you could be so daft!”

Luna paused, and her eyes went wide while a flood of memories rushed her senses. That voice, that delightfully deep brogue …

“Ah don’t wanna hear it! If ya plan on being a dobber, you can awa’ and bile yer head!”

“It can’t be!” Luna whispered while her feet moved down an intersecting hallway and towards the familiar voice. “It’s impossible! He passed away more than a thousand years ago!”

Luna skidded to a stop, and glanced up and down the nondescript hallway. She had to find the owner of that voice or she would go insane. It was exactly the same tone, the same inflections and the same warmth as the voice of the one whom she had never stopped loving.

“Look, I gotta win the Battle of the Bands!” a younger voice shot angrily. “You just don’t get it!”

“Aye, but there’s a great many things about teenagers that I don’t get,” the voice replied, and Luna stopped at a corner to listen despite her pounding heart and her wild gasps for air. “For example, I dunna understand why you’d risk criminal charges just to keep another band from competin’, Cog. Now clear outta here before you do somethin’ you regret.”

Luna said nothing while a copper-haired student stormed past her, fuming and muttering unintelligible threats under his breath. She remained still while she tried to calm her own surge of emotions and to plot out her next move. If this was not who she thought it was, she could inadvertently cause a major interdimensional incident, but she had no idea what she would do if it was.

“Ah, Lass,” the voice softly caressed her ears with an added heavy sigh. “Ah worry, sometimes, about the students in your school.”

Luna rounded on the voice, and the words escaped before she could help herself. “Star Struck?!”

The person before her chuckled in that dark rumble that had never failed to tickle and tease her whole body into a blissful joy. “Aye, Lass. Didya miss me?”

The answer to that question could not be expressed with all of the words that existed, nor with all of the time in the universe to give it. Luna simply gawked at this human who looked so much like her long lost love, and her brain refused to do anything intelligent. Were he on four hooves and pony shaped, this uniformed officer who stood before her would be her treasured husband, in every way.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Star said, and then he smiled that smile that had melted her heart a million times over. “A poodle skirt? Ah did’na realize you were into the classic retro look.”

Luna dumbly nodded.

“It’s a right tidy look, don’t get me wrong,” Star continued. “But not quite you, ah’d say. Still, yer welcome to wear whatcha like. You always look stunning, even when yer not tryin’.”

“Thank you?” Luna gently whispered.

“So, what’s this ah hear about you changing the showcase into a battle of the bands? Ah thought it was to be more like a talent show, from the way ya described it to me.”

“Um, that… uh…” Luna’s tongue refused to cooperate, but there wasn’t much for it to cooperate with.

“Ah, listen to me. You do the showcase however you wanna, Lass. Little competition never hurts anythin’, and ah suppose it’ll keep the little hooligans busy singin’ instead of tryin’ to come up with new ways to break the law around town.”

Luna could only nod slightly in agreement, though the action was mostly an automatic response.

“Well, ah best be gettin’ on with my beat,” Star said. “Been a lot of minor disturbance calls lately; and a right many involve them students o’ yours. It’s almost like they’ve all been bewitched. Maybe it’s somethin’ in the water, eh?”

“It could be,” Luna murmured.

“Why don’t we go get somethin’ to eat after you get done with your party tonight? Yer lookin a bit peely-wally, but ah bet a bit o’ scran would do you wonders. You never do eat right when you’re stressed.”

Star then leaned in and gave Luna a soft kiss, and a lifetime of similar kisses surged out of her memories and drowned her in ancient feelings of love and devotion. There were thousands of those memories stored within her, each connected with a touch of endearment and tender warmth that she could never forget, no matter how many years separated her from them. There was the soft pecks snuck in between their observation of her stars, the caresses and nuzzles that came as they would lie down after a hard evening of work. There was the passionate kisses they willingly passed when the flames of desire burned hotter than Celestia’s sun, and the smooth, lingering smooches that came after their intimate encounters.

And, kiss by kiss, Star Struck and Luna had become that much more. When he had died, half of her had died with him.

And now he was here, back from the dead and turning her entire world upside down once more.

When Luna came back to the present, she found herself leaning against the wall, her fingers on her lips and her eyes greedily drinking in the silhouette of Star Struck’s retreating form. Once he rounded the corner, Luna began to backtrack towards Baked Bean and the others. This was a most peculiar twist in her journey, and she needed to distance herself from the specter of her human husband before she did something rash.

* * ✹ * *

Principal Celestia drew in a long, deep breath while she made a final sweep of the hallways. Having dealt with the unexpected royal visitors, and having shown them that they could observe the party from behind the drawn curtain on the stage in the gymnasium, Celestia wanted to ensure that there were no other stray students in the school. The last thing she needed was for someone to get locked in after the band party.

She would also be relieved when the visitors finally concluded that there was no dark magic at work and went home. Perhaps they would take the troublesome Sunset Shimmer with them, and things could get back to the non-magical standard.

Celestia shook her head with the thought. Sunset was not the first problematic student she had dealt with, and in all honesty, she wasn’t the worst one either. There had been at least a dozen other raging she-demons in Celestia’s professional career—though Sunset was the first literal case. In the end, Sunset had been nothing more than a scared little girl who hid her disappointment and frustrations behind a mask of bravado, arrogant stubbornness, and pride. The world owed her, and she had attempted to collect on her perceived debt in her own unique way.

Celestia paused when she heard a banging sound from the kitchen area, and she huffed out a playful groan. There was only one person who would be back there at this late hour, and she moved to the source of the sound to confirm her suspicions.

She found Mister Bean after a brief search in the storeroom, happily humming a tune while he inventoried the food on the shelves against the list in his hand. Bean was a very dedicated and erstwhile employee, but he did have problems with multitasking and finishing his projects. It was not uncommon to find the dutiful dietician returning to the school after leaving due to incomplete assignments, but the methodology that fueled his madness was working, at the least. Canterlot High had finally come into compliance with the district’s dietary guidelines under Mister Bean’s strict controls and varied menus, and the students were actually eating what he prepared.

Celestia was more than pleased to have his expertise at the school’s disposal, and he was cute when scrunched up his nose during his counts, though she tried to suppress the thought as soon as it came barging into her brain.

“Walk outside and you see the sunshine, something’s in the air today,” Mister Bean sang softly while his pen tapped each can of peaches on the shelf. “Sky is clear and you’re feeling so fine, everything’s going to be a-okay.”

Celestia shook her head, then rubbed her temples. A dull headache had been pushing at the base of her skull ever since the Dazzlings had stopped by to sign up for the showcase, but now the pain had jumped forward and was pushing into her sinuses. Mister Bean’s singing was pleasant enough, so what had brought on this sudden surge?

“If you listen carefully, on every corner there’s a rhythm playing,” Bean continued, and Celestia winced as the pain began to stab at the back of her eyes. “Then it happens suddenly, the music takes you over and you’ll find you’ve got the music, got the music in you!”

Celestia grunted, but then gasped when her headache suddenly dissipated and was replaced with a slight dizzy spell. What had brought that on?

“Oh! Principal Celestia, ma’am!” Mister Bean blushed, and his clipboard moved up to hide that fact. “I didn’t see you there.”

“And I thought you had gone home,” she retorted with a playful smile.

“I’ve been wondering if I should just move in here. It would save me a fortune in car repairs,” he said with a rueful shake of his head. “I don’t know why I have such a problem with organization.”

“At least you have a chipper tune to help you along,” she said with a smirk.

“Oh, yeah.” Bean chuckled sheepishly. “I don’t think I’ll be quitting my day job anytime soon.”

“It was hard enough to get a dietician here, so I would like to keep you around. How much of the inventory is left?”

“Just the perishables after I get the canned goods counted. Should just take me a few more minutes, and then I’ll really, really be done for the day.” His smile abruptly faded, and he added, “And I’ve lost count again, blast it.”

“Would you care for some assistance?”

“I wouldn’t mind, but don’t you have that band party thing going on?”

“That can wait for a moment. With the lack of Sunset Shimmer’s manipulations, the students here have been exemplary. I doubt there would be any issues in such a short pace of time.”

* * ✹ * *

“Are you sure you’re okay, Luna?” Baked Bean asked while they crossed the empty stage.

“Hmm?” Luna blinked rapidly, then offered a forced smile. “I am well enough, Bean. We must remain focused on finding the sirens.”

“You’re not just saying that to deflect the question, are you?”

“Bean, please,” Luna admonished with a small huff. “Don’t use my words against me. This is important.”

“Okay, but you will tell me later, right? You’ve been really distant ever since you caught back up with us.”

“I will, Bean. I will.”

Baked Bean then pulled back the curtain a fraction, and he drew in a long breath after a moment of surveying. “This is a lively party, isn’t it?”

“Not quite the words I would choose for it,” Luna replied. “Clearly, this is the work of the sirens.”

Bean glanced over the simmering pot of angry students, and he shook his head. He could feel no peace, no harmony within this group, only anger, resentment and pride. “Is this what they do?”

“The sirens’ magic works on hate, Bean. They consume it and gain power from it, in a manner similar to how changelings gain power from emotion. The more discontent they can cause, the stronger they become. The insidious part is that they can use their magic to force ponies to anger. It becomes a self-feeding cycle, until they become unstoppable.”

“That’s why Starswirl had to banish them here, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. Several attempts had been made before to stop them in Equestria, but all had failed. Celly and I offered to challenge them, but it was ultimately decided that the risk was too great. If the sirens could have forced the Princesses of Equestria to wrath, nothing could have stopped them. The Pillars risked much to send them here, and we owe it to them to finish what they started.”

“So, what do we do?” Bean asked while he watched a student reel back, then swipe a nearby cup from a table to deflect the punch he clearly felt like throwing into the face of a smaller and rounder friend.

“We need to find the sirens, and we need to find out how they are using their magic. Once we know that, we can use the same means to access our Equestrian magic to defeat them.”

Baked Bean glanced back to the crowd, but the opening of a nearby door caught his attention. Once he got a good look at the new arrivals, he motioned for Luna to investigate, and she snorted once she got a good look at them.

Given Luna’s reaction, he was pretty extra sure these three girls were the now-human sirens. They were smug, self-assured, and they looked over the proceedings with a barely hidden degree of glee. It was the same look Chrysalis had given to him when she had laid out her master plan to eliminate his wife, and even Tirek had exuded the same contemptuous pride before he had sent Bean flying.

It was especially obvious in the mannerisms of the orange-haired leader. She glanced around at the proceedings with wicked aplomb, and with her two cronies in tow, she strolled across the floor like a chimera honing in on a kill.

“Bean, watch them very carefully,” Luna whispered. “The slightest of movements could be important.”

He did so, but despite their subdued delight, they didn’t seem to be doing anything particularly magical. Bean did wish he was closer when they started talking to each other, but oddly enough, the purple-haired one began to bicker with the girl with the blue hair and the somewhat vacant expression.

“Why are they fighting over fruit punch?” Luna murmured.

“You can hear them?”

“I’m reading their lips. The orange leader is making snarky remarks about the underlying tension, the blue one believes her punch is the problem, and the purple girl is berating her over it. Orange is—wait. Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?”

“There isn’t going to be a battle of the bands!” Rainbow announced. “We’re going to make sure of that!”

Bean groaned with Luna while Rainbow’s friends drew in close to their ringleader and stood confidently before the sirens. This was not going to end well.

“Talk about throwing down the gauntlet!” Orange proclaimed. “This group is obviously serious about winning. A little cocky, though, aren’t they? Claiming there won’t really be a battle. Seems they think they already have this thing all locked up.”

“Rainbow Dash just had to be as brash as her Equestrian counterpart,” Luna grumbled.

“Not if the Great and Powerful Tr-r-rixie has anything to do with it!”

“I like her better as a secretary,” Bean added to Luna’s observations.

“Whatever, Trixie! We’re the best band at CHS!”

“No! The Crusaders are going to win!”

And that was all it took. The simmering broke out into a full boil, and the arguments about who was going to win spiraled out of control. Bean watched on in disappointment while the students began to shout and hurl insults at each other, but then he blinked a few times. “Luna, please tell me I’m seeing what I think I’m seeing.”

“A green cloud of negative energy, produced by the attendees and feeding into the gemstones of the sirens?”

“Yep, that’s it. That just bites the bark, doesn’t it? All they have to do is wait, and the students will give them all the energy they need.”

“I don’t think it’s quite that easy.” Luna rubbed her chin while Bean released the curtain and they both retreated. “They didn’t use any magic just now. I believe they’ve already cast a spell over the students here, and what we saw were the aftereffects. They are drawing strength, yes, but they need more. They would not bother with this ‘battle of the bands’ unless they absolutely had to.”

“So we can still stop them. We just need to break their spell.”

“That is easier said than done. Come, let us speak to Sunset and the others. It is possible they saw what spell was cast without realizing it.”

* * ✹ * *

“Look, I said I’m sorry already!” Rainbow protested. “I didn’t realize they’d twist it around like that!”

“Now they’re even more powerful than before!” Applejack threw up her arms in frustration while the group sat on the stairs leading to the school. “How in tarnation are we supposed to beat the Dazzlings if you keep shooting your mouth off?”

Rainbow Dash kicked at a pebble, and it bounced across the grass twice before being stopped by the pedestal of the portal. “I know, but I couldn’t just let them get away with saying stuff like that! There’s no way we’re going to let them take over the school! We’re going to stop them, just like we stopped Sunset!”

Sunset Shimmer responded to that by pulling her knees in close and wrapping her arms around them with a heavy sigh.

“Indeed we will, Miss Dash,” Princess Luna announced while she and Prince Bean exited the building. “However, we must choose our plan of action most carefully. These sirens are cautious, and to blindly attack them will spell certain catastrophe.”

“So, does that mean you have a plan?” Pinkie Pie asked with a small squeal of delight.

“I believe I may have something, but I need to ask you all a few questions first. Did anypony happen to see the sirens work any sort of a spell since they arrived? It would have been at a time when they could have reached the entire student body all at once.”

“They must’ve done it during lunchtime, then,” Applejack replied. “Earlier today, they burst in and started singin’ to everyone about changing the showcase into a battle. That’s when everybody started arguin’ and when we decided to contact y’all about the problem.”

“Acoustic application of a magical matrix. Interesting.” Luna rubbed her chin and stared at the sidewalk while she thought. “I suppose it makes sense in the end; it is how they attacked Equestria.”

“That would also let them get to everypony all at once,” Bean added with a glance to Sunset Shimmer. “But why didn’t it affect you?”

“They must have been protected due to their connection to the Elements of Harmony,” Luna said.

“No, I mean Sunset in particular,” he replied while her eyes came up to meet his. “You’re not a youmun with a pony counterpart, you’re a pony who is presently youmun. There isn’t another one of you in Equestria, and you were never an Element Bearer. Is there something about your true nature that prevents the magic from affecting you?”

“That can’t be it,” said Applejack. “If her bein’ a pony is what’s protecting her, then the rest of us should be under the Dazzling’s spell. Maybe it’s because she was Celestia’s student?”

“Perhaps,” Luna said while she studied the former pony. “Perhaps. Whatever the reason, we shall count it as an advantage.”

“So what?” Rainbow exclaimed in frustration. “So they can’t use their magic on us, big deal! We knew that already. How are we supposed to beat them?”

“We need to access the magic of Equestria first,” Luna said. “Tell me, have any of you had anything magical happen to you since Twilight Sparkle’s last visit and the arrival of these Dazzlings?”

“Now that you mention it, there has been something that could be considered magical.” Rainbow Dash produced her phone, tapped the screen, and then started a video. “Check it out! Every time we play, all five of us gain these sweet pony ears and tails!”

Luna took in the information with subdued interest and a thoughtful hum. “Most interesting. I understand the ears, but how does adding length to your hair assist your magical abilities?”

Baked Bean stared at the phone like Rainbow Dash had just produced a second sun from her pocket. His eyes watched the glowing rectangle without blinking, and he forgot to breathe while he took in the miracle before him.

“What is this wonderful device?” he whispered in dumbstruck awe. “How are you able to store the film for this moving picture into such a small contraption?”

“We’ll give him a minute,” Luna said with a bemused shake of her head while Rainbow handed the phone to him. “Or, maybe a few hours, to be accurate.”

“Whatever you do, don’t drop this!” Rainbow admonished.

“When Twilight defeated me before, she drew on the power in the crown I was wearing,” Sunset mused. “The siren’s magic comes from their music, so maybe we need to use the same kind of magic to defeat them! Or, maybe not,” she added nervously.

“No, I think you’re on to something,” Luna said. “It is when you play music that you transform, correct?”

“Yep.” Applejack nodded. “Ears, tails, the whole shebang.”

“So it would stand to reason that the way to defeat these sirens is to play a musical counterspell, would it not?”

“You mean, like a song?” Fluttershy asked.

“Indeed.”

“And in order to free everyone who has been exposed, we’ll need them all to hear it,” Sunset added.

Rarity gasped, then stood quickly. “The band competition! It’s the next time we can be certain everyone will be in the same place at the same time.”

“So the Rainbooms really are the band to beat,” Applejack added with a determined grin.

“How are you even holding that?!” Rainbow cried out in amazement.

“How did you stuff all of these photographs into this thing?” Bean shot back.

The group on the stairs turned their attention to their band leader and the prince who had somehow turned into a pony again. Bean held Rainbow’s phone in his hooves with a giddy glee that was usually reserved for Hearth’s Warming, and Rainbow gestured to the physical impossibility that was before her with incredulous disbelief painted across her face.

“I should think it would be obvious, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said with a small laugh. “How else would a talking pony prince from another dimension hold a phone?”

Rainbow sputtered a bit, then huffed and stomped a foot in defeat.

“I will begin work on a counterspell immediately,” Luna said with a shake of her head. “I believe I can have something ready by the time the competition starts.”

“What do we do in the meantime?” Applejack asked.

“For now, you should rest and prepare. We shall rendezvous tomorrow morning, and begin our preparations for battle.”

“I like the sound of that,” Applejack said. “C’mon, y’all. Best to do what Princess Luna says.”

“Do you know what this means?!” Pinkie shouted while wrapping Applejack up in a bear hug and hoisting her off the ground. “Sleepover at my house!”

“I step out of the room for five minutes. Five minutes!” Principal Celestia grumbled while she slammed the main doors to the school open, then pointed to the sunset. “Everyone out!”

Bean, Luna, and the Rainbooms quickly moved out of the way while Celestia ushered the partygoers out with a stern glare and several repeated admonishments to keep moving. Most of the students were too interested in their own arguments to notice anything else around them, but as Trixie emerged, she stalled and pointed an accusing finger at Rainbow Dash.

“You may think you have won, but mark my words, Rainbooms! This is not over yet! The Great and Powerful Tr-r-rixie will prove she is the greatest in all of Canterlot High!”

“Out!” Celestia ordered.

“I definitely like her better as a secretary,” Bean muttered while the rest of the students filed out and stormed off into the sunset.

“Trixie is a secretary in Equestria?” Sunset asked.

“Yeah. She was a travelling magician, but she had a little incident at Neighagra Falls. Because of that, she’s the assistant secretary to Celestia and me.”

“Five minutes!” Celestia grumbled one last time while she approached. “How did you manage to start a near brawl in five minutes, Miss Dash?”

“I didn’t start anything!” Rainbow protested. “All I said was that there wasn’t going to be a battle of the bands, and then the Dazzlings did the rest!”

“They did?”

“We observed the incident in its entirety,” Luna added with Bean nodding behind her. “These ‘Dazzlings’ were the provokers in this incident.”

Celestia folded her arms and huffed. “Maybe I should just cancel this whole thing. It’s becoming a bigger headache than I want to deal with.”

“No! We need to break their spell,” Sunset said, but then she glanced down. “Principal Celestia, I know you think I’m just trying to make myself look better, but look at the facts. Before the Dazzlings showed up, the showcase was just meant to be a fun way for everyone to show off their talents and to raise money for the after school activities. Everyone was having fun, and there wasn’t all of this pressure to be ‘the best.’

“And now look at it. Everyone is at each other’s throats again, there’s zero fun being had, and all anyone wants to do is prove how much better they are. Something happened, and there’s only one explanation for it. The Dazzlings are the sirens from Equestria. If they weren’t, then Princess Luna and Prince Bean wouldn’t still be here. We’ve got to stop them, and we need to stop their spell. Otherwise, everything will…”

Sunset sighed. “Everything will go back to the way it was when I was in charge. I don’t want that to happen again, and I’m sure no one else wants that, either. The school is so much better now. Let’s keep it that way.”

There was a moment of hesitation, but Celestia was clearly thinking about Sunset’s impassioned words. “Your Highnesses, do you honestly believe that your sirens are here?”

“I have absolutely no doubt about it,” Luna said with no hesitation.

The Principal of Canterlot High nodded and smiled. “Very well, then. What do we need to do to stop all of this?”

* * ✹ * *

4. - The Past is Present

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“Are you sure we will not be an imposition?” Princess Luna asked once more.

“No, I have plenty of room for you here,” Principal Celestia replied while she fumbled with the keys to her front door. “Though I doubt my townhome will compare to your castle.”

“Bean! Quit playing around and get up here, please!”

“But this thing runs on explosions!” Bean gestured to the engine compartment of Celestia’s car. “How is that not the coolest thing you’ve ever heard of?”

“Now, Bean. We have things to do.”

“Aww! Five more minutes, please?”

“We appreciate the hospitality you have provided,” Luna said to Celestia while Bean sulked over with a pout. “Once the siren threat has been neutralized, I will see to it that you are compensated for your trouble. What could we offer that would be of value?”

“Oh, the usual things, I suppose,” Celestia replied as she unlocked the door and swung it open. “Amethysts, rubies, emeralds, or whatever other precious stones you have lying around.”

Luna glanced to Bean, who gave her a curious look and a shrug before she responded to Celestia’s comment. “Do you mean to say that rubies and emeralds are rare here?”

“Are you telling me they’re not in Equestria?”

“No. Such stones can be easily found, in the proper places. They are valued for the distinct design they give to certain aesthetics, but they are not difficult to procure.”

“I should buy a mine in Equestria,” Celestia muttered. “Anyway, the battle of the bands will begin just after noon, and the final two will compete tomorrow evening. You have until then to—” she waved her hands “—do whatever magic thing you’re going to do, I suppose.”

“That should be adequate, thank you.”

Celestia grinned and gestured to the main room of her home. “I have a spare bedroom that you can use for the evening, and Prince Bean can use my room.”

“Wait a minute,” Bean cut in quickly. “I can’t do that. That’s not how this is supposed to work. Girls get the beds, I get the couch.”

“Your Highness, I appreciate that but it’s no trouble. I wouldn’t feel right about you sleeping down here, especially with your injured leg.”

“Are you sure? It’s only for one night; I’ll be fine with the couch.”

“No, I insist. I won’t be able to sleep otherwise.”

“Well, I guess that settles it. If you change your mind, I’ll gladly switch back.”

“Thank you,” Celestia said with a grin. “Let me get some blankets laid out for you, and then I’ll order out.”

“Order what out?” Bean asked.

“Oh, it means I’ll have food delivered—”

“I’m just kidding. We have that too,” Bean said with a laugh despite Luna smacking him in the back of the head. A fish tank in the corner of the room attracted his attention, and he pointed to it with an eager grin. “What kind of fish are those?”

“He doesn’t get out much, does he?” Celestia said to Princess Luna while Bean crossed the room to get a closer look.

“Not to other dimensions, no. To be honest, I find much of this world to be quite intriguing as well, but Prince Bean is far more animated than I am. I would like to ask how some things function once the more immediate problem is taken care of.”

Celestia nodded, and she drew in a long, exasperated sigh. “I’ll explain what I can, but perhaps I can ask you a few questions about your magic. I would like to have some sort of plan in place if Canterlot High is going to turn into Hogwarts.”

“That will be acceptable.”

Celestia moved towards a staircase, but then she hesitated and turned back to Luna. “Your Highness, forgive me a dumb question, but you are a horse in your natural form, right?”

“The official term we use is pony, but we are equines, yes.”

Celestia’s eyes darted over to Bean. “That rules out the kung pao chicken, I suppose. I’ll order extra chow mein—plain—and spring rolls. Lots of spring rolls.”

Luna’s ears metaphorically perked up. “Chicken? With pow?”

~*~

“Please don’t mind the clutter.” Celestia picked up a box and moved it out of the way while Princess Luna entered. “It’s amazing how junk can multiply. Most of this is just old clothes and other things that I’ve bought over the years and not needed. The bed is fairly new, so it should be reasonably comfortable. Evenings here are usually on the warm side, even in autumn, so I think a thin blanket should suffice. If you would care for something thicker, I do have some quilts in the hall closet.”

“Thank you, Principal Celestia.” Luna glanced around. “This is all very generous of you.”

A squeak then came from under Luna’s foot, and she jumped backward slightly at the unexpected sound. Celestia was quick to snag the offending item, but she was also quick to hold it behind her back.

“Sorry. I thought I had cleaned up a bit better.”

“What was that? Did I break it?”

“No, no. It’s just a toy I haven’t gotten rid of yet. I’ve been meaning to throw this stuff in the garbage. Now, the shower is just across the hallway, if you would like. Make yourself at home, and I’ll go work on dinner.”

Celestia then stuffed the toy into the box she had moved, and she quickly picked up a bundle of blankets. Two went on the bed, and she stepped out of the room with the rest.

Luna knew she shouldn’t look in the box. It was terribly rude and highly inappropriate to snoop into another pony’s belongings, especially after this Celestia had offered up her home to the visitors.

But her sense of personal privacy was, by her own admission, a bit skewed by the very nature of her evening duties. What was a few items in a box compared to a pony’s nightmares, in the end?

She could also adapt her behavior to be more amiable to this Celestia if she knew more about her.

Having justified her own actions to herself, she snuck over to the box, carefully lifted the flaps and peered inside. It took a moment for her to translate the items from human use to pony, but once she did, she smiled softly.

“A cute toy that squeaks is sure to entertain a newborn foal, Celestia,” Luna murmured while pulling the soft fabric star with a smiley face out for a closer look. “As would a rattle and some blocks. Oh, and what a beautifully carved crystal mobile! And these soft blankets would be perfect for swaddling. Such delicate and precious items, yet you said these are things you did not need.”

A cold chill seized Luna’s heart. Had Celestia once been with child, but then lost it? Such things did happen to ponies; the prenatal care in Equestria was second to none, but there was always a risk of a stillborn foal.

It would explain the items in the box, and the slipcovered crib that shared the room with her own accommodations. Luna drew in a long breath as she replaced the toy and folded the flaps down. This room had been meant for use as a nursery, and she could only imagine the heartache that had come to Celestia when such use was denied to her.

There was a sudden loud knocking below, and Luna heard the front door swing open without any further warning. “Sister! Where have you been? I thought that—”

“My counterpart,” Luna whispered. She quickly swung the bedroom door shut, but then opened it just a crack and peered down the stairway to observe Bean and Celestia.

“Why, Mister Bean!” the human Luna proclaimed. “So good to see you here! Celly, you should have told me you were having a private evening alone with our dietician. I would not have intruded, if I had known.”

“This isn’t what it looks like!” Both Bean and Celestia shouted, and Princess Luna chuckled as she saw the furious blush on Baked Bean’s cheeks. The two of them then tried to explain over the top of each other, but the collision of words sounded like a train wreck and made the same amount of sense.

“Honestly, you two. You don’t need to make excuses for me,” the human Luna replied. “I was only stopping by to see if my sister wished to join me for a meal, but I do not wish to disrupt your evening. Please, carry on. I will fend for myself. Just be sure to leave a sock on the doorknob next time to warn me.”

“Dinner! Yes! Let’s go get dinner!” Celestia proclaimed. “I can explain everything at the restaurant. Let me take care of something upstairs, and then we can go get dinner.”

“Are you sure, Celly? Really, I can just leave, and you can pretend like I was never here.”

“I’m positive. You wait outside with Mister Bean. I’ll be right there.”

Luna then stepped back from the door and listened to Celestia’s approaching footsteps. The door was nudged open slowly, but then Celestia whipped around and quickly shut it.

“Should I go introduce myself to myself?” Princess Luna asked with a smirk.

“As much as I may want to implode the universe right now, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Celestia said with a shake of her head. “I thought my sister had made other plans for tonight.”

“Do not trouble yourself over the matter. Please, go enjoy the time with your sister and Prince Bean. I will determine the best magical thing to use against the sirens while you are gone.”

“But I don’t want to—”

“I insist,” Luna said firmly and with a small smile. “Just bring me something to eat when you are done. I will not be offended.”

“If you’re sure, then,” Celestia said with a deep breath. “Really, I am sorry about this. I try to treat my guests better.”

“It is fine, Principal Celestia. Please go and enjoy the evening.”

Celestia looked as if she would press the argument, but a shout from the human Luna to hurry forced her to move. “There are pens and a notebook downstairs in the hutch by the television. Use whatever you need. I’ll be back with the Prince as soon as I can.”

“Thank you.”

Principal Celestia left in the same way she’d entered, and Luna sighed while she looked over the crib once more. She hoped that she was wrong, and that there was another explanation for the items in the box, but she was unsure of what else it could be.

Once everypony had left, Luna moved to exit the room, but was distracted by a glint of light from the closet. Curiosity quickly overcame her again, and she slowly pushed the rolling door aside.

A small gasp came, and her hand gently reached out to touch the fabric before her. The dress felt as light as a cloud, and Luna could see in her mind’s eye how the off shoulder design would flow like a gentle river over Celestia’s curves, with a slight flare at the hips to complete the regal design that cascaded down onto the floor in an elegant train. The sparkle emitting from the inlaid crystals running along the bodice and down the right side of the skirt almost seemed to glint with rainbows, and the whiteness of it would make the crystals of a fresh snowfall jealous.

“Such beauty,” Luna murmured. “But why is it here, hidden away from the world?”

* * ✹ * *

“So, you are not Baked Bean the dietician,” Vice Principal Luna said slowly while leaning back slightly in her chair. “You are, in fact, a pony prince from the same alternate dimension as Twilight Sparkle, and you are here to deal with three sirens who escaped your own reality and who are trying to regain their former power?”

“That’s the gist of it, yes.”

“And in your world, you are wed to my sister’s counterpart, who also happens to be a Princess and who can raise and lower the sun and moon?”

“Yes, but she only raises the sun now. Your counterpart handles the moon.”

“Celly.” Luna reached out for the bottle of wine, which Celestia had placed out of her reach. “I need something to wash all this down.”

“I think we’re going to need another bottle.” Celestia looked around the restaurant for their waiter while Luna emptied what was left into her glass.

“I understand this is a lot to process, but it is true,” Baked Bean said while both sisters took a long sip. “I don’t think I’d believe me, if I was in your position, no matter how much wine you had.”

“Why do you believe your sirens are here?” Luna asked, her eyes glowing with an unhealthy green hue. “I certainly hope this is not related to those delightful new students that Sunset Shimmer was accusing earlier today.”

“Is that how you knew I had been affected?” Celestia asked Bean, and he nodded. “Interesting. Lulu, Prince Bean would not be here if he felt there was no threat. Once he is able to locate and subdue the sirens, he will leave and that will be the end of it.”

The glow faded with Luna’s nod. “Very well. I shall be watching you very closely, however. If I find that you are trying to sabotage the showcase, I will be forced to intervene.”

“Trust me, I don’t want that,” Bean replied with an absent-minded rub of his ribs. “I pinkie promise I will be on my best behavior while I am here.”

Luna gave him a wary and confused look. “I suppose that will work. Tell me, how will you defeat them, once they are found?”

“There is a way to construct a spell to disrupt their magic, destroy their power, and remove their influence from any who have been tainted by their touch. Starswirl the Bearded made extensive notes on siren magic in case they ever returned to plague Equestria, and I’m confident that I can use one of your bands to complete the enchantment. Adjusted for the novelties of your world, of course.”

“Novelties?”

“The spell needs to be sung,” Celestia said. “And if they have affected our students, it needs to be sung when the entire body will hear it.”

“And then what?” Luna asked.

“Well, then we wrap things up and I go home,” Bean replied. “Once they are defeated, the sirens will be harmless, and I believe we could leave them here without any danger. If they come back to Equestria, they could regain their magic.”

“And what is home like for you?” Luna asked while their waiter delivered their food and a fresh bottle of wine.

“Thank you, sir,” Bean said to the waiter first, then waited for him to leave before continuing. “Home is… well, to be honest, I want to get back to my wife as soon as possible, more than anything. I’ve put her through a great deal of anguish over the past few weeks, and while she says she approves of me being here, I think she’s just saying it to make me feel better. I really wasn’t supposed to come.”

“Why? Does this relate to your injured leg?”

“My leg is part of it, and the consequence of my actions. You see, there was a tyrant named Tirek…”

* * ✹ * *

Princess Luna drew in a long breath while she gazed at the moon. She felt so cold without its familiar touch, and she shivered a bit with the absence. She could hardly believe that the sun and the moon moved on their own accord here, without any guidance and yet just like clockwork. How did the humans of this world handle not having control over the moonrise? Trusting in gravitational pulls was a thought that was untenable. Even during her darkest days as the Nightmare, her Moon had been her constant companion.

Just as her Star had been with her through every high and every low that life had send their way.

Luna closed her eyes and smiled a bit with the memory of her first moonrise with her dear husband. He had been so quiet during the process that she was afraid she had injured him in some way. Thankfully, he had been profoundly touched by the moment, and he had not words to express the reverence he had felt deep in his own heart.

“Ah, so here you are, Lass.”

Princess Luna’s eyes snapped open. A swarthy human in a polo shirt and slacks stood before her, with a charmingly messy mop of hair so black it almost looked blue in the moonlight and day-old stubble that only added to his allure and charms. “Star Struck?!”

“I dinna realize you’d be so startled to see me,” Star replied with a chuckle. “And I thought you were goin’ to join me for dinner.”

“Dinner. Yes, I did say that, didn’t I?” Luna murmured.

“Are you sick? If this is a bad time, we can try for another night.”

“No!” Luna leapt to her feet. “Um, I mean, I am well. I just have had a lot on my mind as of late, and I did forget. I would love to share dinner with you.”

“You’re sure?” Star asked, and Luna nodded. “All right. Are you wantin’ anything in particular?”

“Something that is simple and casual would be nice.”

“How about the Waffle Emporium? We can chat about your party on the way there.”

“Could we possibly walk?”

“Tryin’ to keep your girlish figure?” Star said with that deep, rumbling laugh that she had acutely missed. “I suppose we could take a dauner, if’n you’d prefer.”

“I would. It’s been so long since—” Luna put her hand to her lips. “I mean, it feels like we haven’t been able to walk together for a very long time.”

“Far be it from me to deny you such a simple joy. Shall we?”

Star held out the crook of his elbow towards Luna, and she slid one arm into it while wrapping the other across his chest. A shiver of delight tickled her from head to toe with the soft touch of her side against his, and with a giggle, they began their journey.

* * ✹ * *

“So, how did you survive the fall?” Vice Principal Luna asked Bean. “Just hitting one tree should have been fatal.”

“That’s where the story takes a turn, and I wish it was for the better,” Bean said with a deep breath. “How can I best explain this? Out in the Badlands, there lives a race of creatures known as changelings who steal love to survive. They have a queen, Chrysalis, who once tried to invade our capitol and was repulsed. For her second attack, she concocted a plan to kidnap me and to use me against Celly and Equestria, and I guess she had been keeping tabs on my little rebellion. I don’t remember the impact, but she claimed later that she had rescued me after I hit a tree or two. I was her prisoner for a time, and I don’t want to make a return visit.”

“Chrysalis,” Celestia snarled. “It doesn’t matter what world she is in, does it?”

Bean leaned back in his chair. “You have a Chrysalis here, too?”

“We do,” Celestia replied before taking another long drink of the wine with a vigor that really was disrespectful to the vintage. “And much like yours, she has attacked my home to steal love as well.”

“I believe we should change the topic,” Luna cut in. “This is a sensitive and personal subject.”

“No, no!” Celestia chuckled mirthlessly and she sneered at her sister. “Let’s get it out and into the open, shall we? Tell me, Your Highness, did your Celestia ever show any interest in a person—pony, a pony named Sombra?”

“Sombra?” Bean shook his head slowly. “No, I don’t believe so. Sombra was an ancient warlord in the Crystal Empire. My history is a bit sketchy, but if I remember right he somehow managed to usurp the crystal princess and enslave the ponies who lived there. Most of my history teachers believed he was a major reason why Equestria has no Kings or Queens. The titles became associated with corruption and tyranny.”

“King.” Celestia’s lips curled back into a snarl worthy of a tiger. “He certainly royally screwed me.”

“Celly.” Luna patted her sister on the arm. “Perhaps this is not the right—”

Celestia yanked her arm back. “I wish I were some sort of royalty who raised and lowered the sun, because I would drop that ball of fire on his head! Over and over, until nothing was left but a greasy stain! I had that all locked away until you brought that little yellow sneak into our lives! Now it’s all I can think about.”

She slugged back the remainder of the glass and viciously upended the bottle to refill it, watching the glug of the red fluid as if it were the blood of the stallion who wronged her. Baked Bean’s tongue had glued itself to the roof of his mouth, or he would have tried to say something, which on further thought was probably a good thing because this world’s Celestia still had a fairly sharp knife by her plate, and things could go wrong extremely fast.

Giving a shake to the empty bottle, she slammed it back on the table and signaled the waiter. “Another, and be quick about it.”

Thankfully, the waiter immediately glanced over at Luna, who gave her head a short shake, allowing the poor man to slip away without getting burned by a drunk principal.

“I locked those feelings up behind walls of ice and darkness,” growled Celestia, sounding nearly feral to Bean as she ran one finger slowly around the rim of her empty wine glass. “I thought they could be locked away for a thousand years, and here comes this little yellow… thing with a key. Why can’t he just leave my heart be!” she added in a plaintive wail.

Bean cringed, but he could see the human Luna wincing even worse, and her eyes darted between her real human sister and himself during Celestia’s outburst. She bit her lip, clearly wanting to say something comforting but unable to find the right words to do so.

There was an awkward silence that hung heavy in the air, and Celestia twisted her gaze to the floor on her left while she wrung her napkin with the same movements one would use when wringing a neck. Baked Bean began to wonder if he should offer an apology and then march himself right back to the portal, but before he could act on his thought Celestia inhaled deeply, clenched her jaw to the point where Bean could see the tendons running up her neck, and focused her full attention on him.

“Prince Bean, forgive me. I think I’ve had a bit too much wine. I would like to think that I have a better handle on my emotions.”

“If I’ve brought up a subject I shouldn’t have—”

“You didn’t.” Celestia hissed in a deep breath through her teeth with her jaw locked tightly and her eyes fixed on the knife beside her plate. “Sombra was my fiancé, until that monster Chrysalis stole him away from me.”

* * ✹ * *

Princess Luna laughed at Star Struck’s joke, which was followed up with a satisfied hum while she leaned her head on his shoulder. She had forgotten how deeply satisfying it was to have him beside her, sharing his corny jokes and witty anecdotes while his warmth and his love caressed her heart. She had missed his presence even more than she had realized, but the gaping hole that had come with his death now felt like it was being filled in with renewed hope and joy.

It was almost like he had never left her.

“This has been a most enjoyable evening,” she softly said as they rounded the last corner to Celestia’s house. “I hate for it to end.”

“Aye, but that’s the way it always goes, innit?” Star said. “There’s never enough time for the good to last. Maybe we could do this again sometime, eh?”

Luna’s heart froze, and she fought back a shuddering breath. The happiness that filled her heart was stolen by the Luna who lived here and now. As much as she knew it was wrong, she managed to say, “I would love that, my dear Star. I did not spend enough time with you before.”

“Before what? We see each other all the time at the school.”

“Of course. I am just rambling, nothing more.”

“I suppose I could try to find a way for us to be together more,” he mused. “If’n that’s what you really want, Lass. I dunno if we could stand livin’ under one roof, however.”

“I think you’d be surprised,” she hummed.

“Well, it’s somethin’ to…” Star stopped walking, and Luna lifted her head from his shoulder.

“What is it?”

“That new dietician you hired.” Star pointed to Principal Celestia’s house. “He’s sittin’ on the front stoop.”

“Oh dear.” Luna peeled herself away from Star, and she took two quick steps towards Baked Bean before stopping and turning back to her long-lost love. “I’m sorry, but I do need to go.”

“Want me to chum along? I’ve seen the way he stares at your sister at the school, and I’ve told him a few times he and Celestia would be perfect together.”

“No, thank you. I think this is something that I need to deal with alone.”

“All right. I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

“I certainly hope so,” she said just before he walked up and gave her another world-melting kiss. “Especially if you keep doing that.”

“I’ll have to do it more, then,” he said with a chuckle. “Good night, my princess.”

Luna thanked him, and the two then separated despite Luna’s desires to the contrary. Her eyes remained on him for a few lingering moments, but then she shook herself from her thoughts and strode over to her brother-in-law.

“Bean? What’s wrong?”

Bean didn’t look up from the pavement. “Nothing. I’m just screwing things up again, but that’s the new normal for me.”

“I doubt you have done anything of the sort.”

Bean’s shoulders shook once, as if he had attempted a laugh but it had died on the way out. “Oh, I’m pretty extra sure I have. In that house,” he jerked a thumb towards the front door, “there is is a despondent woman who was left waiting at the altar by her first love. I managed to drag that memory out of the closet and flog it in front of her, and now she’s furious.”

“She yelled at you?”

“For a little bit at first. She then became very quiet, and I’d be surprised if she’s said more than ten words to me since then. When we got back from dinner, she went straight to her room without a word, carrying the last bottle of wine from the restaurant.”

“I see.” Luna stood quietly on the sidewalk for a time, then looked up at the house, and the single lit window on the second floor. “So much like my own sister. They share the same heart of glass; pretty to look at, but fragile when struck. You may have given my human sister’s counterpart a blow, but the pain you brought to the surface is not your fault. If she is like my own dear sister, she will ache for a time and move on to more important things without proper time to grieve. You have done her a good deed despite your regrets.”

“I still feel like I need to return home. Everything I do is wrong, even when I try to do what’s right. I can’t trust my own decisions anymore. I need to quit thinking, and leave that to ponies who can actually see where their decisions will lead.”

Luna exhaled slowly. “Bean, what you need to see is when things would happen, no matter the circumstances. Would you rather one of Twilight’s friends have triggered her unwelcome memories? Or Twilight Sparkle herself? You know my sister far better than any other, and by that measure, you are the best pony to absorb her ire without harm. Accept this outburst for what it is and let us concentrate on the problem at hoof. I will need your help with the counterspell.”

“I kinda thought you would have had it all ready to go by now.”

Luna smiled slightly as she sat down next to Bean. “Celly is better at crafting spells than I am. I tend to take a more physical approach to problems. I find it is difficult to remember if the magicae telum comes before or after the Iorem while I am trying to smash in a barbarian shield.”

“But you have actually had magic training. I don’t know how to do anything like that, and I can’t do any unicorn magic without Celestia anyway.”

“Nevertheless, your assistance is needed for me to stay on task. There have been revelations today that may jeopardize my ability to craft the spell.”

Luna smiled a bit more when Bean went from morose to concerned in a flash. “What happened? Is this related to why you left during the tour?”

Luna nodded. “You observed that this world is not a perfect mirror image of ours. Some things are the same, some wildly different, and time itself flows at a different rate between our worlds. While my beloved Star Struck lived and died over a thousand years ago, he is alive and well here.”

“He… wait.” Bean’s eyes darted back and forth for a moment. “Wait, wait, wait! He’s alive?”

* * ✹ * *

5. - Perchance to Dream

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Baked Bean had the sneaking suspicion that he was being stalked.

It was nothing more than an inkling, but the omnipresent presence had followed him to this grassy meadow and was now everywhere and yet nowhere all at once. Several long glances over the fragrant and multihued flowers had not yielded any results, but he knew it was only a matter of time.

“Such a lovely day out today,” he casually said with a glance over his shoulder. “I must admit, I am so glad I am here, enjoying the fragrant flowers and the bright sunshine. There’s only one thing that could make this place even better. It’s a shame that—”

Bean suddenly found himself staring at the sky, but the blue was rapidly replaced by a pastel perfection that he would trade everything in the world for. Two beautiful magenta eyes followed, and he giggled as a snow white nose touched his own.

“Oh!” Princess Celestia said in faux alarm. “Forgive me, please! I thought you were somepony else. Have you, perchance, seen a delightful yellow stallion anywhere near here? He answers to the name of Baked Bean, stands yea high, and has an earthy-brown mane that is silky smooth and smells of strawberry cream.”

“That’s because I’ve been using your shampoo.”

“I thought so.” She giggled.

“Hmm, the pony you describe does sound familiar. I’ll let you know if I see him.”

“You’d better,” Celestia said with a deep smile. “And I am glad we can still share dreams, despite the dimensions between us.”

“Me too.”

“Is this your form in the human world?” Celestia asked as her magic gently picked him up. “Twilight tried to explain how humans were different, but it helps to have a visual reference. How does it feel to be human?”

“Honestly? Once the novelty wears off it’s a bit… inefficient, I suppose.”

Celestia began to circle him with a studious stare. “How so?”

“Well, the upright and on two legs thing would take a lot of adjustment, for one. I mean, I had to be bipedal as a cook, but I’ve seen Luna stumble and trip a few times, and neither of us are comfortable at anything faster than a slow walk. It’s a lot easier to move around on four legs.”

“How is your leg? I have been worried about the potential for further injury, since it must now bear more of your weight.”

“I’ve felt some pain, but the human Pinkie Pie provided a cane for me to use, and that’s helped out quite a bit. I’m going to try to stay off of it as much as possible, though.”

“Good. What else?”

“I don’t know how youmuns manage to do anything⁽*⁾ with these things,” Bean said with a furious wiggling of his claws. “They look cool, but I can’t hold on to anything with them, and I keep stubbing them on things. Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna took me out to dinner at a gourmet restaurant tonight, and I must have dropped the cutlery a dozen times, and don’t even get me started on trying to hold on to a glass of water. I think the waiter was ready to throw me out for being so clumsy. I never knew it was possible to miss hooves until today.”
⁽*⁾ Bean didn’t want to admit that picking his nose was easier with the new appendages, based on his first-hoof experience.
—

Celestia giggled at that. “Twilight expressed similar frustrations in her reports, but now you have a frame of reference for your story.”

“Yeah,” he said as he stretched his claws out to their full reach. “My nose isn’t working quite right, either. I can still smell, but I’m not getting the subtle scents from foods like I usually do.”

“I believe a human’s nose is less sensitive than ours,” Celestia said while reaching out a hoof and gently booping his. “But it is cute.”

“Thanks. I think our senses are a bit more keen in general; just about everything here seems to be less. I’m looking forward to getting my pony body back, and to have you in my hooves again.”

“As am I,” Celestia purred into his ear. “And I’m going to put a bell on you to keep you from wandering off again.”

Bean frowned, and he sighed while using one claw to scratch behind Celestia’s ears and the other to caress her flowing mane. “I don’t think that’ll be enough. You’re probably going to have to hobble me and keep me tied up somewhere.”

“You know I’m not angry, right?”

“Yes, but I don’t think you’re all that happy I went through the mirror, either. I’m actually a bit surprised that you didn’t come through the portal, grab me by the ear, and drag me back.”

Celestia chuckled with a sheepish smile. “I nearly did, but not because I was upset. I thought you might have tripped, or that Discord had thrown you in, and it took both Applejack and Rainbow Dash to keep me from following you. Luna promised to send you back if you needed medical attention, and to protect you from any threats that may arise.”

Bean chuckled at that. “But it turns out, I may need to protect her against something I never dreamed would be here.”

“What? What has happened?”

“Star Struck is alive here.”

Celestia’s eyes grew as large as dinner plates. “He is? How can that be? I was at his bedside when he passed away.”

“It’s not the same Star, Luna tells me. It’s the youmun version of him.”

“How…” Celestia swallowed, and lowered her voice. “How is she taking it?”

“I wish I knew for sure. She keeps telling me she is fine, but then she gets this distant gaze and won’t respond to anything around her. I almost think she’s trying to figure out how to haul him back to Equestria.”

“This is most troubling.” Celestia bit her bottom lip. “She could try to abduct him, or she may not want to return when your mission is complete. A thousand years of longing and absence may be too much for her to overcome. Bean, you must do whatever you can to remind her that this is not her Star, and that she is needed and wanted here. I do not want to lose her again.”

“I’ll do what I can.”

“Thank you. It is most fortunate you went through the mirror; I dread to think about the consequences if you had not. Have you found the sirens yet?”

“We have. They’ve managed to work some sort of anger spell on the students here, but Luna thinks she can create a counterspell to defeat them.”

“How did they manage to affect the entire school so quickly?”

Bean then spent a few minutes explaining everything he had experienced from his arrival to the end of the battle of the bands party, with a few extra details about the green cloud of negative energy when Celestia asked about it. The news seemed to concern her slightly, but her mouth remained set in a thin line of determination while she took the information in and processed it.

“So, it could be worse,” Celestia concluded. “They have gained some power, but they still need more, it would seem. I am sure they want to drain the Equestrian magic out of Twilight’s friends. They would gain an immense amount of power by doing so. It seems that this ‘Battle of the Bands’ will literally be a magic fight, in the end.”

“Have you been able to find anything that could help us?”

“The Royal Archives have sent me all the information they can find, and with that, I have been able to devise a couple of plans. I will need to make a minor revision to account for Star Struck, but I believe that you will still emerge victorious.”

“So, what do we do?” he asked eagerly. “Luna said we need to wait until we are sure all of the students are together, but if there’s another way—”

“Luna is right, Bean. All of the students need to be freed together. If even one of them is not liberated from the spell, the sirens can rebuild and start anew.”

“Oh.”

Celestia nibbled Bean’s neck, and he giggled as she worked her way up to his ear. “I know you want to return to me just as badly as I want you back, but we must be sure we have completely eliminated the problem.”

Bean grunted. “Maybe you should send somepony else to come help. I’ve been rather inept so far.”

“You are anything but inept,” Celestia instantly shot back, and her wings wrapped around him and added to her embrace. “In fact, you are the ept’est stallion I know.”

Bean scoffed. “Yeah, sure. I’m surprised your counterpart here hasn’t banished me to…” He paused. “Um, wherever school principals banish ponies to. Detention, maybe?”

“I don’t think that would be much of a punishment, first off. Secondly, what in Equestria could you possibly have done to deserve such a fate?”

“Did you ever have any feelings for King Sombra?”

“Sombra? I suppose I did,” Celestia admitted, and Bean twisted around to share the full force of his shock. “What? Loathing is a feeling, as is fury and rage. If you meant in a romantic sense, no. You are the first and only stallion to touch my heart.”

“You had me worried there for a second,” he said with a relieved laugh. “Anyway, it seems that Principal Celestia was left waiting at the altar by the youmun Sombra.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I didn’t get all of the details, but what I did get seemed like it was a fairly standard betrayal, if such a thing can be. The Sombra here was kind, and knew all of the right words to say. He reassured her of their future, and he especially liked to talk about the children they would have and how amazing they were going to be.

“But then the Chrysalis of this world somehow entered the picture. The only thing I could get out of their relationship was that she was younger, more enchanting, and ultimately a better fit, personality wise, for Sombra than Celestia could ever be. He left just a short note for her in the townhome she had bought for her future family before leaving her heavily in debt and without any way of finding them.”

“Did my counterpart know that this Chrysalis existed before this?”

“She did; Chrysalis was one of the counsellors at Canterlot High. I think they said she’d worked there for about four years or so, and she was one of the best counsellors they had. Chrysalis left a two sentence notice of resignation in Celestia’s office, and that was that. Oh, and the petty cash fund was empty.”

“Leaving her short-staffed and broken hearted,” Princess Celestia said with a shake of her head.

“Yeah. But then, just before the new school year started, Vice Principal Luna hired my doppelganger as the resident dietician. I guess everypony can tell they are attracted to each other, but she keeps her feelings under lock and key. Her head tells her she’ll just be hurt again, but her heart finds him to be attractive, kind, eager and devoted. Or, at least, that’s what Vice Principal Luna thinks.

“Anyway, it seems I somehow managed to drag out the memory and flog it before her during dinner tonight, so she hasn’t said anything to me for several hours.”

“And you believe that you are at fault for reminding Principal Celestia of her loss?” Princess Celestia asked.

“I don’t know,” he said with a huff, and he rested his cheek against hers. “It feels like I messed up, but Luna—our Luna—tells me that Celestia would have reacted the same way to anypony who brought up the subject. She said that this Celestia hasn’t had a chance to properly grieve for what was lost.”

Celestia slowly nodded. “I believe our Luna is right. If her personality is similar to mine, she would throw herself into her work in an effort to forget the pain. I nearly did the same thing when I thought you had perished.”

“I just wish I knew how to help her heal,” Bean said softly. “It’s not fair that she should suffer like that. I caused the injury, and I want to make it right.”

“So what do you need to do?”

Bean pulled back from Celestia’s cheek, and she smiled softly at him while he thought for a few moments. “I need to see what she wants. If she really does want to have a relationship with the youmun Bean, then I need to help her to see that her heart can love again. If the pain is too deep, then I just need to leave her alone, help Luna defeat the sirens, and then get back to Equestria as soon as possible.”

“And which one do you think is the right one?”

Bean smiled softly. “The first, I think. If she did not want to love again, then she would not be in such anguish now.”

“Very good,” she said with a nuzzle. “However, your primary focus should be on the sirens and my sister. My counterpart’s heart will come around in the end, one way or the other. After all, it is only with the heart that one can see rightly.”

“Luna said the same thing,” Bean said with a chuckle. “And my heart says it wants you.”

“As does mine. Now, I will need to send you a written copy of what I have learned about the sirens. Discord has agreed to bring the report to you, and he will meet you at the portal tomorrow at sunrise. If you can, try to get there before he does; I fear if he waits for long, he will get... creative.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem. Principal Celestia is an early bird, and she’s gotta get to the school pretty early to get things ready for the showcase.”

“Keep her away from Discord if you can,” Celestia said with a worried look. “While I am sure he will be mostly harmless, I worry that he would say something offensive and damage the working relationship you have built up. Plus, I’m not sure he could resist the temptation to mess with her head the way he does everypony here.”

“I’ll have Luna come with me. He wouldn’t dare do anything with her around.”

“She wouldn’t let him,” Celestia added with a smile. “But let me add a word of warning with my recommendations.”

“Warning?”

“The suggestions I am going to send should be used as a last resort. It would be wise to allow Sunset Shimmer and her human friends to be the means of the siren’s defeat.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Their friendship gives them power. That, and their ties to the Elements of Harmony have protected them from the siren’s magic, and that same power will need to be called upon again in the future. Sunset Shimmer has opened the door for Equestrian magic to permeate into the human world, and I doubt that the door can be closed again. Sunset and her friends need to learn how to harness and control this power, or else their world could be in danger in the future. There will be those who will use this magic for their own nefarious plans, and we will not be able to answer every summon for assistance, even if we wanted to.”

Bean pondered this for a moment, but then he nodded. “This is where that old saying about teaching a pony to grow a carrot as opposed to just giving him one comes into play, isn’t it?”

Celestia nodded. “It is a lesson that took me many years to learn. I cannot possibly solve every problem that occurs in Equestria, but I can teach others how to solve their issues on their own. This also allows ponies to grow, progress, and to achieve the greatness that is within themselves.”

Bean paused again. “Like when you sent the Element Bearers to defend the Crystal Empire from Sombra?”

“Exactly. I knew Twilight had the capacity to be a force for great good, but she was untested. I knew that she would succeed in her efforts to defend the Empire from Sombra’s return, but she needed to know it as well. With that test, she took a step in her own growth, and that victory laid one of the foundation stones that she now builds upon as a princess. Had I gone to the Empire and tried to handle the problem by myself, I would have deprived Twilight, her friends, Cadence, and Shining Armor of that moment of victory. It was a sore trial for them to endure at the time, but they are now more because of it.”

“And now the Elements of Harmony here have a similar opportunity to grow,” Bean said thoughtfully.

“As do you. This is a chance for you to learn valuable lessons in leadership and delegation. You can rally the troops, so to speak, and show them the path to victory. When you return, you will be more than what you were, and it will be a great boon for you, for me, and for all of Equestria.”

Bean chuckled as Celestia kissed his cheek. “Have I ever told you how amazingly motivational you are?”

“Once or twice, but I am pleased I can assist you. Think of my suggestions as a backup plan, should the worst come to pass. While I am confident in the abilities of my former student, Sunset is still new to the ways of friendship, and she may not be able to handle the pressure of the task before her. I have high hopes, but I must also be realistic about the situation. If Twilight had been able to be in your place, I would have no second thoughts on the matter. I know she would be able to handle the sirens, and I know you will be able to as well.”

“Well, it’s always good to have a backup plan, right?”

Celestia glanced around, then leaned in close to his ear. “Never tell Twilight this, but I did have a contingency plan in place in case she did not succeed against Sombra.”

“You did?”

“Yes, but I would have done the same thing for anypony, even myself. If he had bested me, Equestria would still have been protected.”

“That’s a wise move. I think I would want to have some backups in place, too.”

Celestia smiled. “I learned to have such plans in place from Flash Magnus, Commander Hurricane and Princess Platinum during our military endeavours, and the habit is alive and well to this day.”

“Hey, I like it. My dad always said that prior planning prevents piss poor performance.”

“That it does,” Celestia said with an amused shake of her head. “Perhaps I shall scandalize the court with that tidbit of wisdom one day.”

“I wanna be there to watch the aftermath. So how’s things going on your end of the multiverse? Did Twilight and the Elements take care of Starlight Glimmer?”

Celestia frowned. “I have not heard from any of them since their departure. I had hoped to receive a quick note about their findings, and I hope that nothing bad has happened. If I do not hear from them by tomorrow evening, I will send a squadron of the Royal Guard to investigate.”

“Hopefully Luna and I will be back by then, so we could go check on them, if you want.”

Celestia nodded. “Other than that, things have been fairly quiet here. The citizens of Ponyville have been most helpful, and I took a few minutes after you wrote to me to check on the repairs to the town. There is a possibility that they will be finished by the time you return.”

“Wow. They work fast. If we can, I’d like to take some time and thank them all again for joining my little rebellion against Tirek. They risked everything for me, and I don’t think I can ever fully repay them for that.”

“I’m sure they would love that.”

* * ✹ * *

Principal Celestia groaned as quietly as she could while she fumbled around her darkened kitchen with her eyes nearly closed. This epic hangover was kicking in quicker than usual, and she did not want to be nursing the barbed end tail of it during the Battle of the Bands. Once this whole ridiculous mess was done and over with, she was going to call in sick, crawl into her bed, and not emerge for at least a week.

By then, she would have all of her emotions back under control. With any sort of luck, she’d be able to destroy them once and for all.

“Stupid Sombra,” she muttered after downing a tall glass of water and some aspirin. “I was more than good enough for him. It’s not my fault Chrysalis is ten years younger and has more cleavage. I hope he smothers in them.”

Celestia refilled the glass and then staggered back to her room, desperate to get what little sleep she could before dealing with reality again. Her nights had been restless and plagued with nightmares ever since Sombra’s betrayal, but more than anything, she just wanted the pain to stop. She was growing weary of maintaining the endless facade of happiness and well-being for her students and, most of all, her sister. It had all been going so well until the dinner with the visiting Prince had revealed just how fragile she really was.

The tears came without warning and against her will as she staggered up the stairs. It had been easy to avoid any sort of relationship when she was younger; all of her time, money, and effort had gone into obtaining her degree and working the system so that she could obtain her lofty goal of becoming the principal of her alma mater before she was thirty. She loved her school, she loved the neighborhood where it was located, and she loved working with the teenagers who roamed the hallways. They had become surrogate children, in a way, but her heart would break with overwhelming joy when they graduated and left the nest to find their own way in the world.

Then the fine lines and the gray hairs began to appear. The realization that the window of opportunity to find a husband and to have her own flesh and blood children was rapidly diminishing had come when Luna had playfully mocked her looking over the selection of hair dyes at the grocery store, and desperation was quick to set in. The warning signs had been there with Sombra, but she had bithley ignored them, afraid that she would not be able to find another who would be interested in an older woman.

She had come so close. Had she not brought Sombra to that open house, he and Chrysalis would have never met.

Celestia scoffed at herself as she reached the top of the stairs. Sooner or later, Sombra would have abandoned her for someone younger, someone who could provide him with endless attention and adoration. He wanted a raven-haired trophy with a large bust and an empty head to show off to his friends, and Celestia was far too independent and strong willed.

She had been blinded by love, a self-inflicted wound that made the cut that much deeper.

A wave of sniffles overwhelmed her as she collapsed onto her bed. Morning would come, and whether she wanted them to or not, her duties would return with it. The students of Canterlot High needed a strong leader, an infallible guide who would lead them to their own inherent greatness. Though she deeply despised it, she knew she had to wear the mask of perfect calm and order. Without that, many of her students would falter, and that failure was a thought that froze her heart.

The forlorn principal pulled in her body pillow, hugged it tightly, and wiped her nose and tears on the velveteen surface. She could repair the damage that had been inflicted to the fortifications around her heart. She would build them stronger, more robust. It would take some time, but when she was done, nothing would ever afflict her emotions again.

“Celestia?”

Celestia’s breathing stopped with a sharp gasp. She had completely forgotten about her guests. “Bean?” she asked barely under her breath, too afraid to move.

“Not quite,” whispered Luna. Her not-sister rolled over, put one arm over her side and pulled her closer. “Go ahead and cry,” she whispered. “Cry for the love you have lost, and I will cry for the love that I can never take away from your sister. It will be good for us both.”

* * ✹☽ * *

6. - Conversations

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The sun rises every morning.

This was a truth that was not only universal, but multiversal as well. The only true difference was how it rose, and with whom.

Princess Celestia rose with the sun, both literally and figuratively. She had for a millennium, and as far as anypony knew, she would continue to do so for a millennium more.

Principal Celestia, on the other hand, simply rose with a start and a snort when a ray of sunshine snuck through her window and hit her right in the eye. Joints popped and bones creaked while she sat up and wiped away the sleep from her eyes, and for a moment, she wasn’t quite sure of where she was.

Once the memories of last night—or what remained of them, at least—organized themselves into a very loose chronological order, Celestia glanced behind her but found no Princess Luna. She also found that she had somehow stumbled into the guest room, which explained why she had thankfully not ended up with Prince Bean.

She did not want to explain her way out of that one. Not in a thousand years.

After taking care of the urgent need to use the little girl’s room and fighting with a horrible hair monster for a few minutes in front of the mirror, Celestia threw on her bathrobe and shuffled downstairs. Prince Bean and Princess Luna were chatting lightly with one another while looking at yesterday’s newspaper, but they looked up from the article as she approached, and both gave her an uncertain smile.

“Good morning!” Bean said first. “How are you feeling?”

It was a question which deserved much thought, and even more coffee. Thankfully, the percolator was quietly burbling away, and after pouring herself an inky black cup and drinking it right down to the bottom, then filling the cup back up again, she had enough thought to respond.

“Better,” she murmured. Without looking at Luna or the other person at the table, she took another drink. “Allow me to apologize for last night, however. What little I remember was... bad. Quite bad.”

“No need,” Bean said with a happy grin that only made Celestia want to hold him underwater for a few hours. “I understand the ‘why’ behind it.”

Celestia frowned and huffed while settling into her familiar seat, with the newspaper folded to one side of her plate, a glass of fresh orange juice nearby, and two slices of plain buttered toast awaiting her pleasure. It was both welcome and slightly disturbing to realize just how much the young man knew of her morning routine, and worse when she considered that he had gained that knowledge during his intimate encounters with her pregnant pony counterpart.

“I hope you understand that I do not blame you for what has happened, or the human version of you. Mister Bean has done fantastic things for Canterlot High in the short amount of time he’s been with us, and I wish all of my staff could be as supportive and dedicated as he is. He has a way of naturally bringing out the best in a person, somehow. You can’t help but feel a little better after you talk to him.”

“Well, that’s because you can’t be angry with a happy stomach,” Bean quipped with a sly grin. “But may I just make one observation? A very wise pony once told me something that gave me a profound insight: all ponies—or people—see the light from where they stand. From what you’ve told me, your heart is in a place that has very little light, and you feel that will never change. I would only ask that you not shut out the possibility of love. I am sure your head tells you that to do so is the ultimate foolishness, but we all have hearts for a reason. My Celestia and I have felt the greatest joys of our lives when we are together, and I believe that you are allowed to feel the same.

“But your relationship with Mister Bean is just that: yours. I will be here a short time, and I don’t want to ruin the relationship you have with my counterpart. Follow the path that you feel is best.”

Celestia nodded slowly and with a deeply thoughtful look. “I’ll keep that in mind. Now, if you’ll give me just a few minutes, I’ll get dressed—” She stopped abruptly at the realization that she was dressed in her old ratty bathrobe, the one with the holes worn under the arms, some loose seams, and loose enough to allow any interested bystander to see far more principal than anybody deserved. Still, neither of the Equestrians seemed put out in the least, and since they ran around naked all day anyway, there was probably no harm from her accidentally flashing her guests. A little. Gathering the bathrobe tighter and retying the belt, she continued. “I’ll get dressed in something more appropriate and then we can head over to the school. I’m afraid I don’t have anything here that I can offer for a real breakfast, but we can stop somewhere and get something to go.”

“That will be fine,” Luna replied. “I arranged for my sister to meet Prince Bean in his dreams last night, and she has several important documents to send to us through the portal. With this information, we should be able to devise a foolproof plan to defeat the sirens.”

“You can visit each other in your dreams?”

“Ponies in general cannot under normal conditions, but Prince Bean and Princess Celestia share a unique connection.”

Celestia’s eyes drifted between Bean and Luna for a moment as she thought this over. “How is that even possible?”

“Magic,” Luna said with a smirk.

“Of course.” Celestia shook her head and instantly regretted it. “I should have realized. I’m not really sure what else I was expecting.”

* * ✹ * *

“So, you don’t want me to meet this Discord fellow?” Principal Celestia asked while she eased her car to a stop in her reserved stall. The commute to work this morning had been considerably more sedate than normal, at a speed that any traffic officer would have considered suspicious.

“It would probably be for the best,” Princess Luna replied. “Discord is a rather playful character—”

Bean rolled his eyes, but remained silent.

“—and while he means no harm, his antics can be offensive at times.”

“He can’t be all that bad,” Celestia said. “I work with teenagers, after all. But I do have quite a bit of work to get done before the Battle of the Bands, so perhaps we can be introduced another time.”

“Another time, then.”

“My sister should be arriving shortly,” Celestia continued, “so you may want to be quick. I think the second floor of the library should be an ideal place for you to complete the counterspell. It is normally closed on weekends, and everybody will be occupied with the Battle of the Bands, anyway.”

“That should be fine, thank you.”

“Okay,” Bean announced from the back seat. “Seriously, I must protest.”

“Protest what?”

“This thing has way too much salt in it,” Bean muttered. “The eggs are dry and lifeless, the cheese has been processed about five times too many, and the green peppers have been flash frozen for at least a month. Even the tortilla is stale. And what are these brown lumpy things in here?”

“I didn’t mind,” said Luna through the remains of her breakfast. “They’re not bad at all, with enough hot sauce packets.”

“They’re fast, they’re cheap, and the place is right on the way to work,” Celestia added with a twinge of hunger starting to return. “Fast food isn’t known for its flavor, I’m afraid.”

“Well.” Bean regarded the subject of their conversation, took another sniff, and one more small bite. “I’ll go so far as to say it’s edible, but no more. It’s an affront to the art of cooking. And the science. It exists merely to provide a comparison to real food. And the hot sauce is nothing more than mislabeled ketchup!”

“Your displeasure is noted,” Princess Luna replied. “We appreciate your willingness to endure this trial for the good of all. Your name will be spoken of with awe and reverence when the story of the Breakfast Burrito Gone Wrong is told to future generations.”

“Har de har har,” Bean said with a small huff. “Just for that, I’m not going to make that Istallion eggplant parmesan when we get back. You know, the one with the butter oozing out of the layers with the crispy garlic breadcrumbs, and enough moozzeralla cheese to make puddles.” Bean looked out the window. “Toast. Nothing but toast for a week. Dry toast.”

“Oh, quit pouting,” Luna shot back while popping the door open. “You and I both know that Celly will order a three-day feast when she hears about how you had to suffer a single subpar meal, and then Pinkie Pie will throw another party on top of that. With cake.”

“Celly?” Celestia asked while she and Bean exited her car. “I always prefered Tia, myself.”

“My sister never did care for Tia,” Luna said. “It reminded her too much of tea, supposedly.”

Celestia shrugged. “I’ll meet you inside when you’re done.”

Bean and Luna nodded to this before moving towards the portal. Bean’s cane tapped in a steady beat against the sidewalk, and after a few dozen paces, he shuffled his feet in a rough approximation of a dance step.

“I could take up tap dancing when we get home if they let me keep this,” he said with a smirk. “Think Celly would be interested in joining me?”

“She probably would, but the height difference between you two may make the endeavor a little more complicated than is usual.”

“I’m sure we could work it out.”

“I personally think that is a wonderful idea,” Discord replied from behind, and the two royals let out a yelp before rounding on the draconequus.

“Discord!” Luna shouted with a glare as Bean clutched at his chest.

“I could show you a few moves myself, Bean-o,” Discord went on. With a flash, he produced a matching cane and tap shoes, and he demonstrated his skills with a smooth shuffle step. “I did take home top honors in the Best in Breed event, after all.”

“Just as soon as I get over this heart attack,” Bean wheezed. “You turn into a youmun here, too?”

“Not bad, eh?” Discord said with a twirl. “I do like the orange zoot suit, I must admit, and the portal was kind enough to let me keep my rougeish charms. I’m just perfect no matter where I am.”

“Yeah, that must be it,” Bean said with a roll of his eyes. “Did you bring the plans?”

“Yes, yes,” Discord sighed while he produced three scrolls and handed them over to Luna. “Terribly boring things, all full of neat little battle plans and organized lines of assault. I personally think that if you’re going to take on these sirens, you should do so with a little pizzazz. I could help you with that, you know. My offer for one free smiting still stands.”

Bean hesitated for a moment. The offer was tempting; Discord would be able to solve the problem for him with a minimum of fuss. He could get back to his own dear wife all the sooner, and everything would have a happy ending.

But then his dream conversation with his wife came back to him, and he slowly shook his head. “I think I’ll hold on to that smiting, if I can. Celestia wanted the Rainbooms and Sunset Shimmer to defeat the sirens, if at all possible, and I agree with her. If that proves to be impossible, I’ll have you step in and take care of them, if you don’t mind.”

“Are you saying I’m your last line of defense?”

“Pretty much, yes.”

Discord let out a small squeal of delight with a burst of confetti. “How delightful! Moi, the hero of the day! I’ll swoop in at the last minute, just when the chips are down so far that they’re swimming in guacamole, and this world will love me for saving them from that nasty trio of brainwashers!”

“You do realize that Sunset Shimmer could actually succeed, correct?” Luna said.

Discord scoffed. “Oh, sure. That’s a remote possibility, but let’s be honest. Miss Matchstick isn’t ready for the big leagues yet. She barely knows what friendship is, let alone how to weaponize it, and without Twilight, you’re short one Element Bearer. It’ll be a valiant stand, I’m sure, but rather futile in the end.”

“I think Sunset is going to surprise you,” Bean added.

“We’ll see by tonight, won’t we? It should be most entertaining.”

“That I don’t doubt one bit.”

“Well, I should be going,” Discord said as he pulled one of his ears off and handed it to Bean. “Once you decide it’s time for my big introduction, just shout into that. Make sure you wait until all hope is lost, flaming rocks falling from the sky, shrieks of despair, things like that. All right?”

“I can do that,” Bean said, but then a thought came to him. “Hey, can you check on Fluttershy and the others for me? Celestia said she hasn’t heard from them, and we were both worried something might have happened.”

“Fluttershy is in peril?!” Discord clutched one claw to his chest. “Why didn’t you say so sooner! Hang on, my dear! I will rescue—”

Discord’s heroics were cut short when he ran face first into the solid stone of the portal, but he quickly peeled himself off and tried once more. The result was the same, and once he finished staggering around and blinking rapidly, the draconequus quickly grew frantic.

“The portal! It won’t open!” Discord beat his hands against the unyielding surface and began to cry. “I’ll be stuck here in this disgusting normal form forever! I’ll probably get a job selling insurance, buy a house with a picket fence, and a dog! A DOG! A little yappy thing with big eyes who chases the mailman and sits on my lap while I watch television and get old!”

“Discord?” Bean waved a hand through the statue plinth and observed the resulting yellow hoof. “It’s on this side.”

“Oh.” Discord moved around the base of the statue and eyed Bean. “Yes, of course. I knew that. You’re not going to tell anypony, are you?”

“Never,” said Bean.

* * 🥘 * *

Principal Celestia pinched the bridge of her nose while she unlocked the door to her office. She needed more coffee, a bottle of aspirin, and something more satisfying than a couple of greasy breakfast burritos if she was to get through the day without banishing someone to detention. One of those items was in her top drawer, one could be brewed in a few minutes, but she ruefully admitted to herself that she was probably going to have to soldier on without the third.

She was not happy with that, but there was little that could be done to remedy the problem, short of marching herself down to the kitchens and raiding the school’s supplies.

A knock on her door prevented her from drawing up a plan to defeat Granny Smith’s security systems, but a pleased smile was quick to come when she turned and made eye contact with her visitor, and more specifically, what he was carrying. “Mister Bean, good morning! What are you doing here?”

“Good morning, ma’am. I was just trying to work up some new breakfast options, and I wanted to run a few ideas past you.”

Celestia sat in the Chair of Office, as her sister liked to call it, while Mister Bean placed a tray laden with a sumptuous breakfast for about six people before her. “What is all this?”

“Oh, this is just a simple meal idea I threw together,” Mister Bean said with a bashful grin. “I made buttermilk strawberry waffles with maple syrup, garlic breakfast potatoes with scrambled eggs and sausage, some freshly squeezed orange juice, and a traditional clafoutis. I think you’ll like the almond-esque taste that the cherries infuse into the dish, but it can be made with seasonal fruits too.”

The suddenly starving principal nodded, but then she rested her cheek in one hand. “Are you trying to add to my waistline while you add to the menu, Mister Bean?”

Mister Bean’s face went beet red in a heartbeat. “No, no! I was just… um, I mean, I think that… oh, wait, want I want to say is…”

“Yes?” Celestia asked with half-lidded eyes.

“Coffee!” Bean blurted. “I got you a coffee, too! I picked a bunch of sweets to act as a balance against your black coffee.”

The flustered dietician fumbled over the offering while Celestia giggled, but it only took a moment for him to provide her with a foam cup containing a simmering pool of ebon perfection.

“I’m pretty extra sure Dry Roast didn’t add that squirt of hazelnut like he usually does,” Mister Bean said as he handed the cup to his employer. “Java Le Choza was clogged with students, so I think he forgot it in the rush.”

Celestia tenderly sipped the brew with a deep grunt of approval, and for a brief moment, the entire world slipped into the background and waited for her to give the word to proceed. “You have no idea how much I needed this. Thank you, Mister Bean.”

“You’re welcome. I also got a triple venti half sweet no-fat caramel macchiato for Vice Principal Luna.” Mister Bean hesitated for a moment. “That is what she likes, right?”

“It is one of the options she prefers, though I do wonder if she is more interested in the coffee or the coffee maker with the way she shamelessly flirts. If Star doesn’t hurry, Luna may be tempted to leave him for an espresso.”

“I’ll just leave Luna’s cup with you. She will be in soon, right?”

“She should be. I need to review a few things with her before the Battle of the Bands.”

“Well, I’ll get out of your way, then. I’ve got an idea for a sweet potato gnocchi that I want to run by you for lunch.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

Mister Bean coughed, cleared his throat, and then stammered as he stumbled his way out of the main office and out into the hallway. Celestia simply chuckled slightly at his antics while she opened her lower drawer and retrieved her paperwork, but then she paused.

Bean the pony had managed to jab every sensitive and anguished part of her soul in thirty minutes or less, if what she could remember of last night was accurate. Bean the human, however, had just teased a tingle of delight out of her, and he hadn’t even been trying. There were no pretenses with him, no ulterior motives or subversive designs. What she saw is what she got, and that open honesty was refreshing and inviting. Mister Bean was the polar opposite of what Sombra had been, and that fact alone pleased her immensely.

Celestia snorted and grabbed a pen. She was letting her heart take over her better judgement, and she wasn’t going to make that mistake again. She refused to endure that pain for any reason.

But her gaze drifted to the exquisite meal Mister Bean had prepared. Her pen tapped the desk with an impatient beat as the haute cuisine tempted her with its delectable aroma.

The pen dropped, and Celestia pulled the tray closer with a small grin. It would be a shame if she let his offering go to waste.

* * 🥘 * *

Canterlot High’s library was an enormous vault, filled to the brim with books on every major subject one could think of, and most of the minor ones, with a few ‘eclectic’ outliers for variety. Prince Bean, after having been introduced to the cavernous repository of collective knowledge, had eagerly dived into the piles of books in an effort to help Princess Luna with the counterspell, and several large towers of tomes were quickly constructed as he moved among the shelves.

It quickly became apparent that youmuns did not consider magic to be a real thing. All of the books that referenced magic were in the fiction section, and from there, most were in the fantasy subdivision.

And while the tales themselves were entertaining enough, Prince Bean was too distracted to take proper notes on story themes and ideas. Once he was convinced he was not going to find anything helpful, he moved back to the table where Luna was working and plunked himself down on the opposite side.

“Bean, the content of these scrolls is not going to change, no matter how many times you look at them,” Luna chided around the pen in her mouth.

“I know, but I feel like dead weight here. I wish I knew more about magic.”

“Even if you did, this spell is complex and difficult. I doubt there are many experts who would understand this structure and form.”

“Huh.” Prince Bean thought for a moment, but then he smiled slightly. “So, do we run the risk of you becoming an alicorn again? You’re creating new magic, after all.”

Luna paused for a moment, then chuckled. “That would be amusing, but I doubt we need to worry. I am not creating new magic, per se. I am using magic that has already been established, just in a different way.”

“I have no idea how a double alicorn would work, even if you did make new magic.”

“Two sets of wings, perhaps?” Luna asked with an amused shake of her head. “Or a set on this form, but I would rather avoid that. Given how difficult it is to simply walk, I think would be best to keep my hooves on the ground.”

Luna went back to work after her remark, and Bean drew in a long breath while he glanced around. He hated that he was forced to just sit and wait, but what else could he do?

“Bean, could I trouble you for a glass of water?” Luna asked. “Writing like this is drying out my mouth.”

Prince Bean perked up instantly. “Sure! I’ll be right back.”

He was off like a shot, and he hummed a happy little nonsense tune while he made his way to the kitchen. Even though water was a simple enough task, it gave him something useful to do, and being useful always made him happy.

Once in the kitchen, though, he had to force himself to focus. It appeared that youmuns used the same style of stoves and ovens for their cooking, and he was curious how human dietary needs were met, and the steps involved with preparation of those foods.

“Maybe I should write a book about a chef,” Prince Bean muttered to himself with a grin while he searched for the glasses. “A chef who can’t cook, but who gets help to be successful. Like a hidden, tiny little chef maybe. It could hide under his toque, and tell the chef what to do by tugging on his mane. And then, this tiny little chef could help him find true love, but get jealous when the main chef doesn’t give him credit for the help.”

A nearby door suddenly popped open, and Prince Bean retreated a few steps while the youmun inside staggered out, his arms loaded up with several boxes of vegetables. The stagger suddenly turned into a stumble, and Prince Bean was only just able to dash over and grab the topmost box before it went crashing to the ground.

“Woah! Steady there,” Prince Bean said.

“Oh, thank you. I always try to grab too much in one load.”

Prince Bean then straightened, but he nearly failed to suppress the gasp of alarm when he saw who was carrying the vegetables.

“Big Mac? Is that you?”

Well, the very fabric of existence hadn’t spontaneously combusted, imploded, or been torn into confetti, so Prince Bean figured the worst was behind him. “No, I’m not Big Mac,” he said as he put the box down.

The ensuing scream of alarm sent both Beans scrambling backwards. Prince Bean’s head was introduced to several hanging pans before he hit the wall behind him, but the youmun Bean crashed into the countertop and sent the boxed vegetables flying.

“Who are you?!” the other Bean challenged. “What are you?! How did you get in here?!”

“Hold on, hold on!” Prince Bean held one hand up to indicate he meant peace, while the other one rubbed the back of his head. “I can explain everything, Bean.”

Mister Bean gave the Prince a fearful and confused look. “How do you know my name?”

“Well, the short answer is… I’m you. Or you’re me, if you prefer.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. You’re me, but I’m me, too. How can there be two me’s? It’s not scientifically possible. You’re one of those pod aliens, aren’t you? You’ve come to replace me!”

“I’m not a changeling!”

“That’s exactly what a pod alien would say.”

Prince Bean took in a deep breath. “Look, I get why you think that, but I’m not an alien. I am you.”

Mister Bean folded his arms tightly. “Okay. If you’re me, you would know who my first kiss was.”

“What? How in Equestria would I know that? I’m not an exact copy of you. I’m a you from a different dimension.”

“Right, and I’m a prancing pony prince.”

“No, that’s what I am.” Prince Bean blinked. “Except for the prancing part. I don’t prance. I can keep up with a slow waltz, maybe, but never prance.”

“Look, whoever you are, I’m calling the police,” Mister Bean said as he pulled out his phone.

“Wait, wait!” Prince Bean exclaimed with a furious wave of his hands. “Don’t call the police! I pinkie promise I am not—”

He hesitated as his eyes darted over the spilt produce. If there was a way to convince this version of himself that he meant no harm, it was going to be through food. “Hold on. You’re going to make a sweet potato gnocchi, right?”

Mister Bean glanced at the mess he had made, then back to Prince Bean with a wary leer. “Maybe.”

“Have you ever tried adding rapini to that?”

“Rapini?” Mister Bean shuddered. “That’s way too bitter.”

“No, not at all. It’ll act as a counterbalance to the sweet of the gnocchi. Plus, you get the texture of both broccoli and spinach, a sort of two-for-one deal. My parents would serve it all the time back home. I personally liked to fry the gnocchi in a garlic-sage-butter sauce.”

“Really? You’d have to watch the heat pretty close on that.”

Prince Bean smiled. If this Bean was anything like himself, their cooking methodology should, in theory, be nearly identical. “That’s pretty easy. I can show you, if you like. Let me help you get this mess cleaned up, and then we can go over it together.”

* * 🥘 * *

Prince Bean loved it when he was right.

“Wait, no. The prep time on those tomatoes is way longer,” Mister Bean said while he quickly pulled a frying pan off of the burner. “You’d need to start that before the apricots.”

“Ah, yeah. I never was good at multitasking, I have to admit.” Prince Bean said.

“Me neither,” Mister Bean said with a small chuckle. “I guess we’re horrible chefs no matter what dimension we’re in, eh?”

“It makes sense, given that I am you.”

“Gotta give you that,” Mister Bean said. “So, what’s it like being married to a Princess?”

Prince Bean shrugged. “It’s about what you’d expect, in a lot of ways. I live in a palace, I attend meetings, pass resolutions and budgets, annoy nobles, and when I find a spare moment I try to avoid whatever prank Princess Luna has set up for me.” He paused, then gasped. “Oh, feathers! I totally forgot to get her a glass of water!”

“Don’t worry,” Luna announced from the corner of the room. She walked over with a full glass, and she smirked as Prince Bean smiled bashfully. “I got it already.”

“Sorry.”

Luna chuckled and shook her head. “I figured something had pulled you away. I see you met your counterpart without destroying the fabric of existence?”

“That was a possibility?” Mister Bean asked.

“We were unsure of what would happen, should we meet our human alternates,” Luna said. “It would seem we are safe. I believe we shall avoid meeting Vice Principal Luna, but at least we know we can without causing a large-scale incident.”

“I suppose that’s a good thing.”

“We shall account it as such.”

Mister Bean took his turn to shake his head and chuckle while he tossed some avocados on the chopping block. “Magical ponies and brainwashing sirens. I need to write all of this down; it’s going to make for a rather remarkable story.”

“I agree,” Prince Bean said with a nod. “May I ask you a personal question?”

“Shoot.”

“How do you feel about Principal Celestia?”

Mister Bean blushed a bit, and the avocado was quickly reduced to tidbits. “Oh, she’s pretty nice. Very supportive, too. I feel like she really wants me to succeed here, and that she’s doing everything she can to help me out.”

“That’s nice, but how do you really feel?”

The blush deepened, and Mister Bean stammered for a moment. “Oh, I suppose she’s pretty, and I really like how attentive she is when I talk to her. She’s funny, too; and I hadn’t really expected that. She likes to play little jokes on the staff, says she’s trying to get them to lighten up. Nothing serious, of course. But I don’t think we’ll ever be anything more than friends.”

“Why’s that?” Prince Bean gently asked.

“You don’t work here for very long without hearing about Chrysalis stealing her fiancé,” Mister Bean said while he stared at the mangled mess he’d made. “I’m pretty extra sure she doesn’t want to be in a relationship, and I don’t blame her. Besides, even if I did want to try to start something, there’s rules against dating staff members, and…”

Prince Bean waited for the other Bean to finish his sentence. “And what?”

“Well, she’s older than me.”

Both Prince Bean and Luna burst into laughter.

“It’s not funny! I don’t know how it works in your world, but there’s some serious taboos against that here!”

“Oh, I’m sure there are,” Prince Bean said after taking a moment to compose himself somewhat. “How much older is she?”

“I’m not sure exactly. I think seven to eight years.”

“Ah, yes. That is a bit of a gap,” Prince Bean replied. “But since my wife is twelve hundred years older than me, you have to forgive me for failing to appreciate your dilemma.”

“Good gravy, how long do you ponies live?!”

“To be fair, it is only alicorns who live so long,” Luna added. “But biologically, my sister and I are approximately the same age as the good Prince here. It would be quite difficult for Princess Celestia to be pregnant otherwise.”

“Twelve hundred years,” Mister Bean muttered. “So, she’s going to outlive you for sure, isn’t she?”

“She will, but we both agree that it’ll be worth it,” Prince Bean said. “I actually find that fact to be quite comforting. I know I’ll never be without her.”

Mister Bean shook his head. “What would that be like?”

“You could find out for yourself.”

“My parents would never accept her.” Mister Bean’s gaze went to a place far removed from the kitchen he was in. “They think I’m running away from my true destiny, and they would claim she is part of my ploy. I can only imagine what wild theories they would come up with.”

“But would that matter, in the end?” Prince Bean asked.

“I suppose not,” Mister Bean said after a long and thoughtful pause.

“True love never just happens,” Prince Bean said with a knowing smirk. “Not even when there’s a law that forces it. It takes time, effort, and dedication on the part of both parties.

“But in my experience, it’s worth it. I know there are many who would disagree with me, and they have very valid reasons for such, but I believe that the best in life cannot be found by yourself. Even if Princess Celestia and I had everything taken away from us, I would consider myself handsomely rewarded with just her love. Pretty much everything I have done—and anything I may yet do—will be because I love her, more than I could ever possibly love anything else. I think you could be happy with your Celestia too, despite the obstacles that are in the way. Love is a wonderful institution; I highly recommend it.”

“Yeah, but who wants to live in an institution?”

“Princess Luna,” Principal Celestia’s voice drifted in over the public address system. “The Rainbooms are waiting for you in the band room.”

“I guess my counterpart is not here yet,” Luna remarked. “But we should leave. It would be quite awkward to explain why there are two Beans to the soon-to-be-arriving students.”

“Maybe we can chat more later?” Prince Bean asked his human self. “I have a killer recipe for sorbet, if you’re interested.”

There was a short pause while Mister Bean thought this over, but then he smiled. “I’ve been looking for a good sorbet to share with Celestia.”

* * 🥘 * *

7. - Counterspell

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“I gotta admit, I’m impressed that you whipped up that counterspell so quickly,” Prince Bean remarked as he walked beside Luna and glanced over her handiwork.

“Celly could have created it faster, but sibling rivalry demanded that I be as good as she is when it came to actual results,” Luna said with a smirk. “It would have been a terrible insult to my ego otherwise.”

“We couldn’t have that, now could we?”

“Of course not,” Luna replied smugly. “My sister upstaged me more than… well, probably not as much as I thought she did. You know, now that I think of it, Celly may have simply manufactured a rivalry to push me to my full potential. I was never a model student, and poor Starswirl may have grown a few gray hairs because of me.”

“She is quite the remarkable teacher, you have to give her that.”

“Indeed she is,” Luna said with a smile as she pushed the doors to the band room open. “And she is quite the remarkable sister as well.”

“Mornin’, Your Highnesses!” Applejack called out. “Y’all ready to whoop some siren butt?”

“Indeed I am, fair Applejack,” Luna replied with a deep smile. “The counterspell is ready, and it is one of the finest spells I have ever crafted. Their defeat is inevitable.”

A cheer came from the Rainbooms with this news, and the assembled girls quickly moved to their instruments while Bean moved to stand next to Sunset Shimmer.

“So, what d’ya got?” Rainbow Dash asked while quickly tuning her guitar. “I’m sure you have a wicked solo lined up for the lead guitarist, naturally.”

“Actually, my composition is spread evenly among all of you,” Luna said while Bean handed her a bundle of papers. “This will ensure we are able to access the full power of the Elements of Harmony, and give us the greatest advantage.”

“Oh. Well, I suppose that’ll work too,” Rainbow said dejectedly.

“I must confess, it has been a few…” Luna paused, and her mouth moved silently as she counted, “well, a few years since I have been able to compose a musical piece, but my operetta Iunior Sororem Melius in C Minor was hailed as a vast improvement upon the original work.⁽*⁾ Now, which one of you plays the lute?”
⁽*⁾The original having been described with such terms as ‘awful’, ‘tear-inducing’, and
‘rocks being ground together would make a better sound than this Celestia-cursed rubbish.’ Princess Luna had received the glowing review of ‘at least it resembles music.’
—

Applejack glanced over to Rarity, who shrugged. “Uh, I don’t know that any of us even know what a lute is, Princess, let alone how to play it.”

“No? Pity; it is a beautiful instrument. How about the psaltery?”

“Gonna have to go with a ‘no’ on that one, too,” Rainbow Dash said.

“No? Well, perhaps one of you has ability with the shawm?”

“Nuh-uh.”

Luna frowned deeply. “This is most troubling. Sackbut? Rebabl? Zampogna? Glockenspiel?”

“Nope, nope, and… no, but Ah think Derpy knows how to play that last one.” Applejack rubbed her chin in thought for a moment. “But, Derpy also knows how to play a hand saw, so that’s none too surprisin’, really.”

Luna glanced down at the papers in her hand. “I see. I may need to make a more substantial revision to the spell. It would seem that your human instruments are not compatible with Equestrian music.”

“I don’t think there’s any ponies who know what those things are, either,” Sunset whispered to Bean.

“Hey, I’ll have you know that Grandpa Soy plays a mean zampogna,” Bean shot back with a grin. “He’s all the rage at the Fair Folk Festival in Las Pegasus.”

“Maybe we should take a look at what you have, darling,” Rarity offered. “We may not be familiar with your pony music, but I am sure I speak for everyone when I say that we are intimately familiar with our instruments. Stop snickering, Rainbow.”

“Ah bet we can adapt somethin’ of ours,” Applejack added while Luna passed out her spell to the members of the band. “Probably not enough time for us to write a new song, though.”

“Uh, Princess?” Rainbow pointed to a spot on the sheet in her hand. “I can’t read this. Looks like you used some sort of pig latin gibberish.”

“You cannot read?” Luna asked with a fair amount of shock. “Why did you not say so sooner?! Principal Celestia will be held accountable for such a gross atrocity! To think, that a teenaged human could still be illiterate, after having so much formal education! This is precisely why I told my sister that public education was a inferior choice to the guilds and tradespony associations.”

“Hey, I may not be the best reader in the world, but I can read!” Rainbow protested. “I just can’t read this!”

“Princess?” Sunset coughed and cleared her throat. “The human education system is not the same as what you’re used to. Most people—and most ponies, I think—only learn one language nowadays. What you wrote is called Latin here, and it kinda died out a few hundred years ago.”

“But I even used the vulgar form,” Luna said with a pout. “Bean? Can you read any of this?”

“I can read bits and pieces,” he said. “But only because I took a course in college so I could read the recipes in some pre-Unification era cookbooks. Let’s see. ‘Quod depelle fons virtutis tuae, portetis ultra anobis,’ right?”

“You’re speaking through your nose,” Luna huffed. “And it’s very boorish. You need to enunciate better.”

“Right, I’ll work on that.”

“Maybe you can pronounce it phonetically?” Sunset suggested. “That’s how Princess Celestia tried to teach me the old spell conjugations.”

“I can read it,” Fluttershy whispered, but her comment was drowned out by Applejack playing a trio of chords.

“‘Quad day pey-le fonds,’” she attempted to sing, but with ample amounts of hesitation as she tried to contort her throat to match what Bean had said. “‘Ver toot is to-way’. Ah, shoot, Ah dunno if Ah can spit these out right or not.”

Luna glanced over to Bean. “I am afraid that the pronunciation must be precise. At best, nothing will happen if it is wrong, but at worst, you may end up conjuring up a plague of parasprites, and your sister will be most displeased with your folly.”

“Personal experience?” Bean asked.

“And you may ask Celly for the story later.”

“So, what do we do?” Applejack asked. “We ain’t got enough time for you to whip another spell, do we?”

“Perhaps I can make a translation,” Luna said. “But it will take me some time to ensure that the potency is not diluted. If we use the spell in the first round, and it does not work, then the sirens will know what we are doing, and they will ensure we do not get a second chance.”

“Then we’ll have to buy ourselves some time, so we can keep workin’ on it,” Applejack said.

“And how do you propose we do that?” Rarity asked.

“We compete in the Battle of the Bands for real.” Rainbow pumped a fist and gave a determined grin. “We stay alive until the finals, and we unleash the counterspell then! Um, you will have it ready, won’t you?”

“Of course,” Luna said. “I shall begin work on the translation immediately. I should be able to provide you with a readable copy in short order. Bean, you should remain here with the Rainbooms. The sirens will be disinclined to perform a preemptive attack if they believe a member of the school’s board of governance is here.”

Bean offered a crisp salute. “Yes, ma’am! I’ll whack them over the head with my cane, ma’am!”

“Perhaps I should include that in my battle plans,” Luna mused with a smirk. “They cannot attack if they have been rendered unconscious.”

“C’mon, y’all!” Applejack proclaimed. “Let’s make sure we’re the best band at Canterlot High!”

* * ✹ * *

Princess Luna grumbled a bit as she sat, and she spread the original copy of her counterspell out on the table before her. She was going to have a long talk with Principal Celestia about the abysmal state of the human educational system once all of this was sorted.

“This school needs to focus less on the miscellaneous programs and more on the core subjects,” Luna muttered. “I was fluent in five languages by their age.”

“Well, Ah always knew you were smarter than you let on, but that just confirms it.”

Luna gasped, but then a shudder of delight overwhelmed every last inch of her human body when a pair of strong arms softly slid around her shoulders and pulled her into a gentle hug. “Star! What are you doing here?”

“Well, Sheriff Silverstar thought that the Battl’ of the Bands would be a big enough event to warrant some police presence, just in case things turn well shan,” Star Struck whispered into her ear. “So, naturally, Ah volunteered, and now Ah’m gonna chum along until this battle of yours is over.”

This news sent a thrill of delighted horror through Luna. This Star Struck still thought she was the human Luna that he knew and loved, and it would be impossible for her to get the counterspell done if he was going to remain by her side. She had to get rid of him, somehow, but she had to do so in a way that didn’t offend and ruin the relationship he had with the Vice Principal.

“You have no idea how delighted I am to hear that,” she said in a soft hum. Her hands reached up and held his arms a bit closer, and for a moment, she savored his presence in a way she hadn’t been able to for hundreds of years. “Does Principal Celestia know?”

“Not yet. Ah was on my way to tell her when Ah saw you walkin’ into the library. Why are you here, anyway? Shouldn’t you be with your sister, gettin’ ready for the showcase?”

“I have a small research project I am working on, but it is nothing of great import.”

“It’s not?” Star said as he leaned in a bit closer and studied her papers. “Looks to me like you’re tryin’ to start a cult or somethin’.”

“Nothing quite so sinister, I assure you,” Luna replied. “I can explain later. Why don’t we go inform my sister of this most welcome development, and then we can go from there.”

“Aye right,” Star said with a wary smile. “But please don’t start any funny business, eh? Your school already has a reputation of bein’ full of right chancers, and if word gets out about how the Vice Principal is teachin’ the student body some ominous latin chanting, you’ll never hear the end of it.”

Luna shook her head and laughed slightly. “Star, can you do me a favor?”

“Name it, Lass.”

“Never lose that loveable brogue. I could sit and just listen to you talk for hours on end.”

Star now took a turn to laugh. “You must be feelin’ tidy today. Normally, when Ah start yammerin’ on too long, you get all huffy and tell me, and I quote, to ‘haud yer wheesht, you radge.’ Ah do have to admit you are right cute when you try it, since your nose wrinkles up.”

“It does not!” she protested as he released her and she gathered papers up. “My nose has never done anything of the sort!”

“Deny it all you like, Lass, but it does. Makes me want to reach out and… oh, what’s that term the youn’uns use? ‘Boop’, innit?”

“Boop, yes,” Luna replied. “Another great mystery of modern language. I must warn you, I will tolerate no attempt to ‘boop’ my nose.”

“No?” Star quickly reached out, but Luna darted to her left and let out a small shriek of delight when he moved to follow. “C’mere! Ah’m sure you’ll love it, if’n you’ll just give it a chance!”

“No, no!” Luna shouted with a laugh. “No noses! You stay away from me, you terrible tease!”

Star Struck chased Luna out into the hallway, but she offered no resistance when he pulled her into another tight hug and gave her neck several rapid kisses. Despite all of her desires to distance herself from this human version of her husband, she found she simply could not. Every dew drop kiss, every softly-spoken word, and every soft caress tempted her to remain and to reclaim everything she had been without for more moons than could be counted. He was offering her old life to her once more, a life filled with love and the most indescribable joy that she had ever felt.

She could have it all back. She could lead him to the portal back to Equestria with nothing more than some sweet nothings and a gentle sway of her hips, and then she could ‘accidentally’ shove him in and have him all to herself once more.

But then she forced herself to reverse the situation. If the human Luna had been the one to seduce her beloved away under false pretenses, she would have literally ripped Equestria apart in her search. She couldn’t imagine the pains that would have come, and Nightmare Moon wouldn’t have been able to hold a candle to the monster that would have been born.

She could never inflict such a pain. Not on any pony, and not on any person, either.

“Lass? Can Ah ask you somethin’?”

“What is it?”

“Well, Ah’ve been thinkin’ about what we talked about last night,” he said with a slight hitch in his voice. “Y’know, about us not spending enough time together, and all that. And, well, Ah was wondering, if—”

Luna put a hand on Star’s lips quickly, and she felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes while she looked into the depths of his. “Do not ask me this; not right now. If you do truly care about me, please wait until after the Battle of the Bands. I will be able to give you an honest answer then.”

“Oh. Right.” Star chuckled nervously, and he gave her an embarrassed smile. “Shoulda realized now wasn’t the right time.”

“I assure you, I will still be surprised when you ask,” Luna offered with a soft kiss. “And I think you will find my answer to be satisfactory as well.”

* * ✹ * *

Baked Bean clapped and let out a small cheer when the Rainbooms finished their song, and Rainbow Dash gave a theatrical bow before turning to face the others with a scowl. “That was all right, but it could be a lot better, and I think we all know what we need to do.”

“Yeah. You could quit turning what should be the chorus into a five minute guitar solo,” Applejack shot with a deadpan expression.

“I have to pick up the slack somehow! Are you guys even trying?”

“I’m trying,” Fluttershy whispered from somewhere behind Rainbow.

“Look, we gotta be the best band out there if we’re gonna have any chance at this!” Rainbow said with a huff. “Our entire school is at stake!”

“That may be true, darling,” Rarity interjected, “but it’s not as bad as all that. Principal Celestia is free of the spell, and I’m sure she’ll do anything to keep us in the battle until Princess Luna is ready. Why don’t we take a short break, and look over some of the costume selections I’ve picked out for the showcase? I’m particularly fond of this one,” she quickly pulled a wheeled rack loaded with garment bags toward her, then stepped out from behind it dressed in a old-time marching band jacket, but with added trim and more sequins than could possibly be legal. “Although we could go with something a bit more modern.”

“We’re trying to save our school here,” Applejack protested. “Enough with the costumes!”

“You can never have too many costumes!” Rarity shot back while suddenly modeling a yellow jumpsuit and a helmet that somehow displayed a trio of scrolling diamonds.

“Wait, how did she do that?” Bean asked Sunset. “Wasn’t she just…”

“Don’t think about it too hard,” Sunset replied with a smirk. “You’ll just hurt yourself.”

“She’s just trying to make things fun! Isn’t that what being in a band is supposed to be?” Pinkie added to the protests with a rimshot to emphasize her point.

“Wait, please,” Bean called out. “We don’t have time for arguments.”

“All right,” Rainbow grumbled. “But you all better start pulling your weight! I can’t let my band be subpar!”

“Our band,” Applejack and Rarity growled together.

“Maybe it’s just me, but they seem to be taking a lot of swings at each other. Is this normal for them?” Bean asked Sunset while the Rainbooms began to debate over what song to play next.

“Oh, it’s just the stress of everything coming out,” Sunset replied. “It’s fine, don’t worry.”

“Well, all right. Do you mind if I ask why you’re not in the band?”

“The Rainbooms had already formed before I…” Sunset’s gaze went to her shoes, and she rubbed one arm in embarrassment. “Actually, I’m just lucky they want to be my friends, especially after the whole she-demon thing. I’ll give them whatever support they need, but I don’t think I’ll be asking for any favors anytime soon. It would probably just look like I’m trying to be my old self again.”

“Well, I think you’re doing pretty good, for what it’s worth.” Bean patted her shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile. “Celestia will be overjoyed to hear about how much better things are for you now.”

“You think so? I said some really, really horrible things just before I left. I don’t think I could ever forgive me.”

“I really do think so. A good friend once told me that everypony has at least one good screw up in life, if not more. The trick is to learn from them.”

Sunset scoffed. “I bet you’ve never done anything bad. You were probably a perfect little boy scout growing up.”

Bean smiled in a sad way. “Oh really? Let me tell you about the time I killed one of my friends. Or maybe you’d like to hear the one where I put all of Ponyville in harm’s way? Even better, how about when I came this close to destroying Equestria and turning Celestia into a potato?”

“You did not,” Sunset shot back. “You couldn’t have possibly done something that bad.”

“Yeah! No way!” Rainbow added.

Bean and Sunset turned to face the Rainbooms, only to find five incredulous stares being leveled at Bean. With a snort of amusement, Bean tapped the brace on his injured leg with the cane.

“Oh? I didn’t get this because I ran three marathons back-to-back, you know.”

“How in Equestria could you possibly destroy Equestria?” Sunset blurted. “And if you are capable of doing so, why in the name of Celestia is Celestia married to you?”

“How much time to we have before the showcase begins?” Bean said with a chuckle.

* * ✹ * *

“Ah, Luna,” Principal Celestia smiled and gestured to the chair in front of her desk. “So glad you could join me this morning. How are you feeling?”

“For as heavily as you imbibed last night, you are remarkably cheerful,” Luna groused before swiping the nearby styrofoam cup and inhaling deeply. “This, however, is liquid perfection. I shall go kiss Mister Roast, and then I will kiss Mister Bean for providing this, since you won’t.”

“Luna,” Celestia growled.

“Or was it the other Bean who provided me with a triple venti half sweet no-fat caramel macchiato? It would explain the rather expansive spread of food that now adorns your desk. Is the visiting pony prince trying to make amends for wounding your broken heart?”

“No, Prince Bean had nothing to do with this. Mister Bean was kind enough to provide the meal. It was…” Celestia hesitated, and smiled warmly. “It was like he just knew, somehow, that I was going to need a good breakfast.”

There was a pause as Luna took a deep swig of her macchiato, but when she was done, she gave her sister the most serious gaze that she could. “Sister, may I be brutally honest with you?”

“Is there ever a time when you are not?”

“Jump him.”

Celestia was set back a step, and she leaned back in her chair. “What?”

“Tia, no one is more acutely aware of the pain that Sombra inflicted upon you than I am. His deception and cowardice continues to cast a pall upon your very being, yet I must admit that I admire how you have been able to forge onward, ever able to project the airs of kindness, loyalty, and genuine concern that the students need to succeed in their educational endeavours.

“But you can’t keep leading Mister Bean along like this. He is attracted to you, whether he realizes it or not, and all of this is an effort to catch your eye and curry your favor.”

“Lulu, we’ve been over this. He provides these meals as samples for future menu additions.”

Luna folded her arms tightly. “Tia, when was the last time he provided one of these samples to me? After all, we are supposed to approve meal plans together, are we not?”

“Well, he… um, a couple of weeks ago, I think he… wait. No, he must have…”

“Point one for me. Point two: unless I am mistaken, the district handbook states that the school dietician is to report to the vice principal. I am the one who hired him, I am the one who is responsible for his performance reviews and disciplinary councils, if one ever becomes necessary, and I am the one who approves his paychecks. His dealings with you should be minimal and infrequent, if we are following the rules.”

Celestia nodded, clearly unable to contest the point.

“I’ve let this all slide because you two are unbearably adorable together, especially when you both try to avoid staring into each other’s eyes and fail. I know Sombra cut you deeply, sister, but it is not fair to lead Mister Bean along like this if that will forever stop you from being cut again. You’ll just be doing to Bean what Sombra did to you.

“I want you to be happy, Tia. I personally think Bean can provide you with that happiness. I would be overjoyed if you would allow him the opportunity, and I would never say anything more about your relationship with him, even if it ends in spectacular failure. But if you cannot allow him that chance, for whatever reason, then I will play the part of the ‘bad’ sister and end this now. I do not want to do this, but I will if I must.”

Celestia’s gaze went to the half-eaten strawberry waffles, and for several long moments, there was silence in the Principal’s office. Luna almost felt like she had gone back to her own teenage years, when she had sat in the very chair she was in now and tried to explain how the crater in the new football field was a science experiment gone wrong to Principal Starswirl, but she had said what needed to be said, and she did not regret it.

“Principal Celestia?” A delightfully deep brogue called in, and Luna’s heart leapt with delight while both sisters turned their attention to the door. “Forgive me for bargin’ in, but—”

“Is everything all right, Deputy?” Celestia asked.

“Yeah,” Star Struck replied while he shook his head and jabbed a thumb towards the hallway. “Forgive me, Lass, but I thought you were in the ladies’ room. I dunna know how you got in here before me.”

“I can be a sly and sneaky thing when I want to be,” Luna replied as she stood and sauntered over to her handsome suitor. “But what brings you by here on your day off, hmm?”

Star pulled her into a deliciously delightful hug and a kiss that could set the world on fire, but then he chuckled. “D’ya not remember what I told ya earlier, Lass?”

“No, we have not spoken to each other this morning. Did I somehow miss something?”

“Um, I…” Star rubbed the back of his head, but then laughed. “Never mind. Sheriff Silverstar thought it would be best to have some police presence at your Battle, so here I am. If you both have a free moment, I’d like to go over some security details with you.”

“Of course,” Celestia replied. “Would you care for some waffles, Deputy? They’re fresh.”

“Well, can’t rightly say no to such a generous offer,” Star said with a grin. “Though I’m beginning to suspect Mister Bean is trying to fatten you up. I might have to have a small blether with him about that.”

“No, I believe it would be best if I discussed the matter with him,” Celestia replied with a glance and a nod to Luna. “There is much that he and I need to discuss.”

* * ✹ * *

8. - Battle of the Bands

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Something smelled fishy.

Normally, Mister Bean would not be troubled by this, given his profession. He personally enjoyed a finely smoked salmon on occasion, and his pan roasted halibut with herbed corona beans had won his parent’s restaurant rave reviews from the local food critics. When done properly, fish was a flavorful and healthy meal with a wide variety of options for even the most discerning of tastes.

But Mister Bean wasn’t in any kitchen at the moment, nor did Canterlot High serve fish. The district used a horrible cod-like substitute that made Bean gag whenever it was prepared, and if all went well, it would be exterminated from the school’s menu by late next month.

No, something smelled fishy because Mister Bean knew there were three extradimensional troublemakers who were trying to turn the student body into their personal all-you-can-eat buffet of energy, but they weren’t doing anything particularly villainous at the moment. If the war novels he had read were anything to go by, their lack of action meant that the school was now in the tense lull that came before the fury of battle, or popcorn kernels just before they began banging away inside the pot.

This forced him into action, and he strode down the empty hallways with a plan. He knew there was probably no way for him to directly counter any sort of magic spell, but there were feints and sleights that could be utilized to throw off the sirens and force them to alter their plans. The first thing was to ensure that the commanding officers—Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna—remained safe and away from the enemy combatants as much as possible, and there was one person who would be perfect for the mission.

A smile came to Mister Bean when he rounded the last corner and found Deputy Star Struck standing just outside the door to the main office. He had a look of confusion on his face, and Bean thought he heard the school resource officer mutter something about Luna being in the ladies’ room before shaking his head and offering a hand.

“Mornin’, Mister Bean. You’re lookin’ rather determined.”

“There’s a good reason for that. Do you have a minute?”

“Course. What’s on your mind?”

“The Battle of the Bands, to be honest. The students here are really getting into the competition, and I don’t think it’s in a good way.”

“Aye, they do seem to be taking this whole thing a bit too seriously, don’t they? Ah’d almost be willin’ to say that some kind of evil kelpie is workin’ their dark magics here.”

Mister Bean paused for a moment to compare what he had been told about the sirens of Equestria to the mythological beasts of the lochs, and he nodded in agreement. “Wouldn’t surprise me if it was something like that, to be honest. I was just wondering if you had any emergency plans or protocols in place for this. One officer against a whole mob of angry students doesn’t seem right.”

“Aye, and Ah appreciate the concern. Ah’ve talked to the Sheriff about the matter, and he’s got a couple of officers on notice if things turn well shan. They’ve altered their patrols so as to be close by if needed, and the whole force knows about what’s going on. They’ll be keeping a keen ear on the radio for any trouble. For now, it’ll just be me here; a heavy police presence would just unnerve the kids and their parents, especially since we don’t have any credible threats. If you can help me keep an eye on everybody, we should be able to keep these hooligans under control.”

“Sure, I’d love to help out. Maybe it would be wise if you stayed near Celestia and Luna?”

“Not a bad idea, but probably for the best that Ah don’t stand too close. Don’t want everyone thinkin’ that Ah’m on guard duty. Officially, Ah’m just here to enjoy the showcase, nothin’ more.”

“Gotcha.” Mister Bean nodded, but his heart skipped a beat in joy as he returned the wave of Principal Celestia.

“Hello again, Mister Bean. Is there something I can assist you with?” Celestia asked with a warm smile.

“No, I just wanted to tag along and see the opening round of the Battle, if I may.”

“Of course you may! I would love to have you in attendance.”

“You would?” Bean asked as his heart began to flutter in his chest.

“Indeed. The competition will be fierce, and tempers may flare,” she said with a quick wink. “It would be best to have you there to help with crowd control, as it were.”

“I’d love to help out, but I may have to step out to prepare that lunch I promised.”

“I do not think that will be necessary.” Vice Principal Luna put a hand on her slightly swollen stomach and pulled a brief disgusted face. “After such a large breakfast, I doubt any of us will need another meal until next Tuesday, at the earliest.”

“Well, if you change your mind, I’d be happy to whip something light up for you,” Mister Bean replied. “Maybe a nice berry parfait.”

“I’m sure it would be delicious,” Celestia said as she pushed the door to the gymnasium open. Most of the students had already arrived, and there was an eager air of anticipation that tasted like salt and smelled like basil, for some odd reason. The principal then gently grabbed Bean’s arm and tugged him off to one side, and he quite thoroughly enjoyed the goosebumps that came from the contact.

“Mister Bean, I have a rather large favor to ask of you.”

“Y-you do?”

“Yes. Deputy Star Struck does not know about the sirens, and my sister is still under their influence. It falls upon me and you to ensure that they do not gain any more power until Princess Luna completes the counterspell. I need you to keep an eye on them; make sure they are contained and away from the bands as they compete.”

“I can do that.”

“I also need you to watch me, especially when they are performing or if they come close to my sister and me at any time. There is a chance that they could work their spell and entrap my mind once again.”

“I’ll do what I can, but how am I supposed to stop them if they do try something?”

“I’m afraid I do not know of any one specific thing you could do, but I do trust that you will know, somehow. Your singing freed me the last time, so perhaps that is your best defense against them.”

Mister Bean’s eyes darted back and forth for a moment as he thought. “When did I sing to you?”

“Last night, as you were checking the inventory lists. I suppose you were not singing to me directly, but the effect was the same.”

Mister Bean felt some heat in his cheeks, and his gaze went to his shoes. “I didn’t know you heard that. I probably sounded like a cockatiel being strangled by a bullfrog.”

“Not at all. Your singing voice is quite pleasing to the ear. If the sample from last night is representative of your overall ability, I think you should sing more.” The smallest twitch made the corner of her lips turn up and she added, “Of course, that is my personal opinion. I wouldn’t want to lose such a fine employee in the cafeteria to the choir.”

“Oh, well,” Mister Bean stammered. “I’ll think about it.”

“Please do, and thank you again for your assistance. I greatly appreciate your willingness and dedication.” She turned to leave, but paused halfway and smiled over her shoulder to him. “You know, if your pony counterpart is anything like you, Princess Celestia is a very lucky horse.”

“I think he’d say he’s the one who is lucky, since he has you. I mean her,” he hastily added. “You know, since they’re married, and husbands usually think they got the better end of the deal. Or, y’know, that they found their better half. At least I think any good husband should think that. Husbands, that is.”

Celestia nodded. “I like that notion as well.”

“Speaking of my pony double, where is he, anyway?”

* * ✹ * *

“Uh, Your Highness? You gonna be all right?” Applejack put her hand on Prince Bean’s withers, but the action did nothing to stop his nervous prancing.

“I think so. I’m just really worried about what’s going to happen. My track record against villains and ne’er-do-wells is abysmal, and there’s a possibility I’ve corrupted our efforts. What if the sirens can feel my magic? What if they’ve seen me like this, somehow? What if they see me now?”

“Relax, darling,” Rarity gently admonished with a scratch behind his ears. “Worrying about what could be won’t help—my goodness!” Both of her hands began to run through his mane. “Do you use conditioner, Your Highness?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I simply must know what brand you use! I’ve never felt hair so soft and luxuriant!” She sniffed quickly. “Is that strawberries and cream?”

“I think it’s a special formula made specifically for my wife’s mane. It’d be one big knot otherwise. I’ll ask her for the recipe when I get back.”

“I think you’re definitely going to tip them off if you walk into the gym like that,” Rainbow Dash said while gesturing to his whole pony self. “Rarity is right; you gotta relax.”

“Okay.” Bean forced all four of his hooves to the ground, and he took slow, even breaths to settle his nerves. “I’m sorry I’m so paranoid about all of this.”

“It’s completely understandable, Your Highness,” Rarity said while the others nodded in agreement. “But nothing like that is going to happen this time. You have Princess Luna here with you, and none of us want the sirens to succeed. No matter what it takes, we will win this battle and make those horrible manipulators pay for their deceitful deviousness!”

“Did you just swallow a dictionary or something?” Rainbow asked dryly.

“Why don’t you just stay with Princess Luna?” Fluttershy asked.

“I had the same thought, but she’s worried that the sirens are going to try and attack you directly, somehow. She wanted me to make sure they don’t get that chance.”

“But Principal Celestia would never let someone interfere with a band’s performance.”

“Unless she falls under their spell again. We don’t know what got her out of it the first time, so there’s that risk.”

“Do you think they could trap you, somehow?”

“I say yes, but Princess Luna says no. Either I’m safe because my magic is tied into Princess Celestia’s, or I’m protected because I can turn back into a pony. She thinks my energy reserves have not completely recovered since Tirek and my abduction by Chrysalis, thus, my transformation is likewise incomplete, and that would mean that their magic has nothing to really grab onto. I didn’t quite fully understand it, but it sounded something like trying to paint a wall that has several large holes in it.”

“Ah suppose that makes sense,” Applejack said with a scratch of her head. “Still, the more people—and ponies—to keep an eye on the sirens, the better.”

“You can stay with me backstage, Your Highness,” Sunset offered. “There’s some good places where you can hide and still keep an eye on what’s going on. Trust me, I used to use them a lot.”

“Is that how you got that photo of me and Zephyr Breeze?” Rainbow huffed. “He has been bugging me non-stop to go out with him ever since then.”

“He has been pretty insistent on that,” Fluttershy added with a small giggle. “He spends a lot of time posing in front of his mirror and thinking of ways to ask you to, um, ‘roll in the hay’ with him.”

“I did not need to know that,” Rainbow groaned. “Ugh. No offense, Fluttershy, but your brother makes me wanna puke.”

“I think your idea should work, Sunset.” Prince Bean shivered as his transformation back to humanity finished, and he quickly checked to make sure his clothes were on straight. “Honestly, I think the bigger risk is the other bands. They all want to be the best, and I’m sure somepony is going to try to sabotage you. Sunset and I can make sure that doesn’t happen, and we can make sure the Dazzlings don’t corrupt Principal Celestia again, either.”

“Hey, nobody messes with my band!” Rainbow proclaimed. “I’d like to see those sirens try to do something!”

“Our band!” Applejack countered.

“Welcome to the first ever Canterlot High School Battle of the Bands!” Principal Celestia proclaimed to her students. “I believe I speak for everyone when I say it is, by far, the greatest thing that we have ever done here at this school.”

Celestia had to fight back a wave of nausea while her students cheered, but she knew she had to keep up appearances. The sirens would pull out all the stops to control her again if they suspected she had somehow been released from their spell.

“We are so grateful that our three newest students encouraged us to turn this event into something exciting!” Celestia continued with a smile and an outstretched hand towards the miserable miscreants. It was clear now that they were up to something; she’d seen those smug smiles and casual poses a hundred times before, and not once had they ended with something good.

Those three were going to wish they’d never stepped foot on her campus by the time she was done with them. Although without a proper dungeon like her pony counterpart, all she could really impose would be double-secret detention.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Luna’s tug at the microphone she held, and she released it quickly. “But, as this is now a competition, we can only choose one winner. Who is it going to be?”

Luna’s words had an interesting effect on the assembled students. Normally, there would be friendly challenges and the usual boasting about skill, but it would all be in fun. The bands would wish each other good luck, and it would be clear that, no matter who won, the students would be happy and harbor no ill will.

What Celestia saw in the faces of her students was the complete opposite. The anger and malice was so thick that she could cut it with a knife, and for a moment, it looked like a few fist fights might break out. Everyone was convinced that they were the best, and they were going to prove it, no matter the cost.

She was immensely glad that Prince Bean and Princess Luna were now dealing with the issue, but she did wish that they would hurry. She was concerned for the overall welfare of her students, of course, but there was the growing concern of a lawsuit if a parent-slash-guardian somehow found out their little darling had been brainwashed during her watch. Those nice young men in their clean white coats would come and take her away once the Inquisition Board heard her explain why it had happened.

“Our first contestants will be MC Snips and DJ Snazzy Snails,” Luna announced. “Good luck to everyone, and may the best band win.”

Celestia’s heart ached when she saw her students leer and glare at each other with the announcement. This was not Canterlot High. This was not the school she had grown to love, nor were these the students that she cared for more than herself. This was all wrong, and she was going to make it right, even if it meant the end of her career.

As deeply as she hated cheating and dishonesty, she was going to make sure the Rainbooms made it to the finals.

* * 🥘 * *

“Do you feel that, girls? Our true power is returning. And that’s before we’ve tapped into the strongest magic here.”

Mister Bean remained motionless while he listened to the big-haired leader above him brag to her compatriots. He had taken up a defensible position at the end of the bleachers near where they were sitting, and this little bit of intel proved that his unexpected twin was right.

“But the Rainblossoms, or whatever they’re called, aren’t under our spell. How, exactly, are we supposed to get to their magic?” the purple one asked.

“The Rainbooms are just as capable of falling apart as anyone else. They just need a little push in the wrong direction. I have a feeling everyone here is going to be lining up to give them a shove.”

Mister Bean drew in a long and silent breath as he thought. These three needed to be stopped, but what could he possibly do that would have any effect?

The answer hit him like a frying pan to the face, and it almost took his breath away while giving him a slight headache. If the Rainbooms could fall apart, so could the Dazzlings. The snarky tone of the purple subordinate showed they didn’t see eye-to-eye on the plan, and that animosity could be used to his advantage.

Mister Bean smiled when he caught sight of the Rainbooms as they entered the gym and nervously walked up to the stage. The assembled bands were so busy with their own arguments that they failed to notice Sunset and another Bean entering from a side door, nor did they notice when Sunset smuggled the Prince backstage. He had heard some stories about Sunset’s prior dictatorship over the school, and any good dictator would need hidden surveillance to maintain their position. Her plan was obvious: keep Prince Bean near the Rainbooms to counter any attempts at sabotage, but while still staying out of sight. It was effective in its simplicity, and Mister Bean had to admire the tenacity of the young woman. She was defending students that hated her and doubted her every move. It it were him, he probably would let the Sirens win as payback for the lack of forgiveness, but she was better than that.

Mister Bean slowly moved out of his spot while Sunset surreptitiously rejoined the Rainbooms and quietly walked over towards the nearest band. It was time for the Dazzlings to get a taste of their own medicine.

* * ✹ * *

Prince Bean had come to a very important conclusion.

If what he was hearing passed as “music” in this world, then humans were, collectively and in their entirety, tone-deaf. He had the benefit of not currently being able to see the train wreck as it happened, but he seriously doubted that was helping to lessen the pain.

“Everybody knows my favorite color is orange! My rhymes are so fly, they’re better than… um…”

Bean smacked his forehead with that one. They had to be making this up as they went along. There was no other explanation.

“Than an orange, yo!”

“Yeah! Represent!”

Prince Bean shook his head as he listened to MC Snips and DJ Snazzy Snails stutter and stammer some jumbled lyrics, clearly having no decent way to end their song. He winced when a sharp, high-pitched whine of feedback flooded the gym, and for a moment, he wondered if he had gone deaf.

“Please do not drop the microphones,” Celestia ordered.

Prince Bean pinched the bridge of his nose. At least there was one band that wouldn’t stand in the way of the Rainbooms.

A stab of pain in his human leg forced a sharp breath, and he shuffled sideways to rub the injured appendage and to keep from knocking something over. He was going to need to soak in a hot bath for a month when he was done with this, but maybe Celly would give him a long and relaxing massage, too.

The very thought of his wife’s gentle hooves working the tension out of his muscles sent a chill of delight from his mane straight down to his stubby little foot claws.

The happiness ended while the Rainbooms set up their instruments. His task at the moment was to ensure nopony interfered while they performed, but if someone did try, they would wonder why their dietician was wearing a brace on his leg and using a cane. The Dazzlings would then realize something was wrong, and then they would adapt to counter the Rainbooms.

It would be just like his foolhardy assault against Tirek, and it would end in the same way.

Well, the Dazzlings probably wouldn’t throw him into a forest and leave him to the Changelings, but the overall results would be the same.

With a grunt, Prince Bean reached down and began to remove the brace. Doctor Horsenpfeffer was going to kill him when he got back, but Celly’s kisses would bring him back, and if he didn’t move around too much, he could keep the damage to a minimum.

Hopefully.

He reverently placed his Celestial Crystal by his other effects just as Pinkie Pie called out the tempo, and he tested how much weight his leg would take without protest. The song was pretty catchy, and it helped to distract him from the pain as he leaned up against the nearby wall.

The wait was far shorter than he would have liked.

Just as the Rainbooms began to sing, a trio of students tried to slip backstage, and had Prince Bean not been standing where he was, they would have gone unnoticed. With a smirk, the fake human stepped out from the shadows and coughed out an “ahem” that was just loud enough to be heard over the music. The three students yelped and crashed into each other, and a pair of magnets held by strings to a marionette control bar bounced off the floor once before sticking to the metal rigging for the stage lights.

“Is there something I can help you with?” Prince Bean asked while he folded his arms tightly.

“Um, no, not really,” the one with pigtails replied.

“Then I suggest you return to the audience. It would be a shame if you were eliminated without even having a chance to perform, would it not?”

There were scattered nods with a heaping helping of grumbles, but the trio left without further incident as Prince Bean pulled the magnets free and glanced over at Rarity’s metal-fringed ensemble. “Clever, I have to admit, but how would Celestia not notice these?”

The thought was forced to wait when a clattering bang came from behind him, and he hobbled as fast as he could to the opposite side of the stage. DJ Snazzy Snails and MC Snips were about as quiet as pair of stock pots being banged together, and Prince Bean managed to sneak into a nearby shadow undetected while they stumbled their way across the backstage area.

He was going to have to ask Luna for some lessons on proper shadow utilization. This was quite fun, and he could see why his sister-in-law loved to use them for her own stealthy assaults.

“Afternoon, good sirs,” he offered, sending the two airborne for a second with a shriek. “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I believe you have already performed.”

“Well, yeah,” Snips stammered while he caught his breath. “But we were, um, just going to, uh…”

“Going to check the lights!” Snails quickly added.

“Yeah!” Snips nodded vigorously. “That’s what we were going to do. Principal Celestia said they were shining on the wrong spot, and they need to be adjusted. It’ll only take a minute, we promise.”

The story was unbelievable enough without the snickering, and Prince Bean couldn’t hold back a sigh of disappointment. Either the adults here were really gullible, or these two were horrible liars.

“All right. Even if that was true—and for the record, I don’t believe either of you for a second—then I find it very hard to believe that Principal Celestia would send a pair of students to ‘fix’ it. I’ll take care of the issue; you two should return to your seats immediately.”

“But, we really need to take care of—”

“If you two don’t get out of here right now, I’ll personally stuff the both of you into that tuba over there.”

There was a slight hesitation as the two contemplated how cramped the accommodations would be inside the brass instrument, and once the signal sent by the neuron near the right ear managed to traverse the empty gap to the other neuron on the left, the duo beat a hasty retreat. Prince Bean again pinched his nose, but another nearby clatter forced him to limp into action once more.

This was going to be a long day.

* * ✹ * *

“What was with the confetti, Pinkie Pie?” Rainbow Dash demanded. “How am I supposed to shred if there’s paper stuck in my frets?”

“It was pretty distracting,” Fluttershy added softly.

Pinkie scoffed and rounded on her friend. “Says the girl who plays the tambourine! How hard is it to hit a hoop with your hand?”

Sunset bit her bottom lip as the discussion devolved into a spirited debate regarding the proper use of confetti cannons hidden within drum sets. She personally felt that they were bickering over something inconsequential, but she wasn’t sure that she should mention that to them.

Or how to mention it.

“You still sounded much better than the other bands,” Sunset offered over the top of the argument instead. “I’m sure you’ll make it to the next round. Why don’t you all find a place to practice where the sirens can’t hear you. I’ll keep an eye on things around here.”

This seemed to end the discussion, but it was impossible to miss the figurative cloud of anger that was forming over the handful of friends she had. Was the siren’s magic beginning to affect them? They hadn’t even performed yet, but somehow the situation was getting worse.

Sunset shook her head and moved out into the hallway. Sirens or not, the stress of having to perform well—but not at their best—was obviously going to affect the Rainbooms, not to mention the unspoken worry that the Dazzlings would somehow win and enslave the school. The pressure on her friends had to be intense, given how she felt as a spectator.

“It’ll be alright,” she murmured to herself. “Princess Luna will have the counterspell ready soon.”

Sunset paused when she heard voices, and it only took a moment for her to identify it as one of Adagio’s authoritative statements. The Dazzlings were discussing their own upcoming performance, and the mere thought of them working any more of their magic made her blood boil. She knew they knew about Equestrian magic and about the Rainboom’s immunity, and it was high time that someone put them in their place.

When the Dazzlings rounded the corner, they found Sunset leaning against a wall with her arms folded tightly. She glared at them for a moment, and she tried to channel a bit of her former she-demon personality as she confronted them.

“You’re never going to get away with this.”

“Why?” Adagio smugly replied. “Because you didn’t?”

Sunset’s gaze went to the floor for a brief moment in shame, but then she resumed her glare as Adagio approached her. “Oh, we know all about you, Sunset Shimmer. You’ve got quite the reputation at Canterlot High.”

“I’ve changed!” she proclaimed with clenched fists. They were trying to mess with her head, and she knew it. It was exactly what she would do, if she was them. “I’m in a much better place!”

“Waiting in the wings while your ‘friends’ have all the fun?” Aria scoffed as the sirens began to circle around her.

“Oh, yes. You girls are so tight,” Adagio added. “And yet, they didn’t ask you to be in the band.”

Don’t listen to them, Sunset! she screamed in her own head.

“Probably afraid no one would want to see them play if she was in the group,” Aria sneered.

Despite her best efforts to deny it, Sunset had to admit to herself that they had a point. Rainbow Dash could have excluded her because of her checkered past, and the Rainbooms didn’t want to taint their image any more then they had to.

“Too bad!” Sonata proclaimed with wicked delight. “So sad!”

“If it’s any consolation, no one is going to remember you at all by the time we’re done.” Adagio clipped Sunset with her shoulder just before Aria pushed her aside with her hip, and the three continued towards the gym without a backwards glance.

“Is there a problem here, ladies?”

Sunset and the Dazzlings turned to the unexpected voice, but Adagio shook her head with a smug smile. “Of course not, Deputy. We’re just fine, aren’t we girls?”

“Never been better,” Aria added over her shoulder as she followed her band into the gym.

“Are you okay, lass?” Deputy Star Struck pressed, and Sunset nodded.

“Yeah, mostly. I just…” Sunset sniffled and wiped her eyes quickly. “I’m starting to think that I’ll never be forgiven for what I did.”

“Ah, that. You were quite the wee scunner, you must admit.”

“Not helping,” she groaned.

“But I’ve dealt with worse. You never forget your first trank, higher than a kite and able to snap you in half, if’n he felt like it. Ah have an especially fond memory of my first domestic disturbance call. That butcher knife coulda cleaved a cow clean in half and still been able to slice a tomato.

“Choices have consequences, no matter how much we try to deny it. The trick is to make sure you’re makin’ the right choices, and to remember that you canna turn a cargo ship on a dime. It’s the little course corrections that’ll get you on the right heading. It’s gonna take time, but you’ll get there.”

“But what if no one forgives me?”

“I think the better question is ‘can you forgive yourself?’ What everyone else does is their own business. Start with yourself, then worry about others.”

“You really think that’s the trick?”

“Hey, the sensitivity training said it, so it must be true,” Star quipped. “In all honesty, yes. The biggest threat to self improvement is desire. If you want it bad enough, you’ll get it.”

“I suppose so,” Sunset said with a thoughtful nod.

“You’re on the right path now, Miss Shimmer. Don’t let the spiteful words of some vengeful, hormonal teenagers knock you off. You’re better than that.”

“I hope you’re right,” she murmured.

* * 🥘 * *

“Excuse me? Flash, right?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Don’t know if I’ve had the chance to meet you yet. I’m Mister Bean, the school’s dietician.”

“Oh yeah.” Flash shook the offered hand with a wary glance. “Are you the one who came up with that tortellini thing last week?”

“I did. Old family recipe.” What a nice young man.

“It tasted horrible.” And… it’s gone.

“Everyone’s a critic,” Mister Bean grumbled, but then he pointed to the stage. “You’re on after the Dazzlings, right?”

“Yeah, and then you’re going to see some real talent. All these other bands? They’re just a bunch of fakes. We’re the real deal,” he stated while giving his drummer a friendly smack on the shoulder. “We’re going to blow the competition away.”

“Are you sure? I’ve heard they’re pretty good,” Mister Bean said with a nod towards the stage. “It’d be a shame if they knocked you out in the first round.”

“Won’t happen,” Flash replied with a grin. “We’re up against the Eco Maniacs. They’re going to be mulch by the time we get done with them.”

“Okay. But eventually you’ll have to play against them.”

A pale green swept across Flash’s eyes as he scoffed. “No, the band we gotta beat is the Rainbooms. Sunset Shimmer and her ‘friends’ are going down hard!”

“Yeah!” Bulk Biceps shouted from somewhere.

“Are you sure? Between you and me, it seems like the Dazzlings are the band to beat.” Mister Bean nodded towards the stage. “They seem to be very confident, you have to admit.”

“So’s everyone else,” Flash said with a hard glare. “Are you saying that my band isn’t going to bring the fury? ‘Cause let me tell you something, Cook! We could take anyone here, anytime! C’mon, you guys! Let’s go show this doubter who’s the best!”

Mister Bean drew in a long breath as Flash and his band pushed their way past him, and he shook his head. With a bit of variation on the theme, this exact thing had happened with each band that he’d approached. It was a smart move by the sirens, and Mister Bean had to admit that he should have anticipated this. They would eliminate as many threats as possible so they could focus their efforts on the Rainbooms and their Equestrian magic.

At least his pony counterpart had been able to keep the Rainbooms safe during their performance. He had caught sight of Snips and Snails trying to sneak backstage, and he had snickered a bit when the two quickly reemerged, looking like they were about to be stuffed into a tuba or something. It was one less element to worry about, and it did make life just a bit easier.

With an “excuse me,” Mister Bean pushed his way through several bands and up to where Principal Celestia was sitting. She smiled at him when he touched her shoulder, and she leaned in towards him.

“Yes, Mister Bean?”

“Are the Dazzlings up next?” he whispered into her ear.

“They are.”

“For the record, I’m asking if you would like those berry parfaits yet. I’ll stay right here while they perform, and we can keep an eye on each other.”

“That sounds fine, but perhaps later,” Celestia replied with a quick wink. “For now, why don’t you just remain here?”

“Of course,” he replied as the curtains opened.

~*~

“No, no, no!”

Princess Luna crumpled the paper before her and threw it aside. The floor around her desk was now fetlock-deep with her attempts at a translation, and each attempt seemed to be even more defective than the one before it.

It was all Star Struck’s fault. Every Celestia-blasted time she tried to focus on her spell, he would flood her mind with the cherished memories of her former life, and she had spent far too much time reminiscing about what she had once had and the love they had shared so willingly with each other. No matter what she tried or how she fought, her beloved Star had seized her every last thought.

She had to overcome this, and quickly. He was dead, pure and simple. She had been at his bedside when her name had been carried upon his final breath, and she had held his hoof to her cheek long after it had gone slack in her grasp. She had washed and prepared his mortal remains for burial with her own tears, and it was she who had placed the enchantment upon his grave to ensure it would never be disturbed.

The Star Struck of this dimension was not hers. He had never been hers, nor would he ever be. His heart rightly belonged to another, and her counterpart deserved to have the joy that she had once held within her own heart.

“Oh, Beloved,” Luna whispered as the tears began to stain the pages before her. “What am I to do? Why must you continue to torment me so?”

Her face went into her hands, and for several long moments, there was nothing more than the sound of her own subdued sobs.

But then she felt something. It was nothing more than a gentle whisper of days gone by, but her smile grew as she remembered the purity of his scent and the gentle silkiness of his caresses. The thrill of delight that came with his kisses returned as she felt his lips delicately brush against hers, and her breath stilled to near nothingness with the dewdrop touch of his coat against hers came once more.

Once more she began to write, but she did not produce a counterspell. If her Star was bound and determined to torment her, then she was going to have to put him somewhere for a time and then return to him.

And when this was all over, her brother-in-law could help her to make sense of the madness that was about to be committed to paper.

* * ✹ * *

The Battle of the Bands proved to be aptly named.

Prince Bean doubted he’d ever see anything quite like this again. Each note was shot like an arrow from a bow, each beat an attempt at piercing the armor with their strongest spears. Band after band fell in the onslaught, and every eliminated foe writhed in agony when they found their time had come to an end.

At least their final performances were not fatal, but Prince Bean doubted that would be much of a consolation. While they remained under the Dazzling’s spell, each loss may as well have been the end of the world to them.

A few things had gone right for him during the melee. His human counterpart had remained close to the Principals during the performances, and as far as it could be determined, Celestia had remained free during the sirens’ songs. Deputy Star Struck had kept the vanquished from lashing out in one last spiteful rage at one another, and he, himself, had managed to repel all attempts to destroy or disable the Rainbooms.

However, there was one thing that was going wrong, and that was what now worried him. The Rainbooms seemed to grow increasingly frustrated with each other after each performance, and Sunset was either unable or unwilling to step in and dissipate the building anger between her friends. Disagreements had grown into arguments, and arguments were going to turn into an unpleasant altercation without some sort of intervention.

There was only one more performance now between the Rainbooms and the finals. The Great and Powerful Trixie and her Illusions were currently on the stage, and their song seemed to be making quite the impact on the crowd. The Rainbooms were going to have to be at their best to be able to top Trixie’s song.

All eyes turned to Sunset as she snuck back into the gym, and the Rainbooms quickly pushed in close, eager to hear that Princess Luna had finished her work.

“Well? Is it ready?” Rainbow asked Sunset.

“She says not yet, but she thinks she’s getting close.”

“That’s all right,” Applejack said. “Finals aren’t until tonight. We’ll get in a little more practice before we’re supposed to hit the stage. How are you holding up, Your Highness?”

“Sore,” Prince Bean replied as he rubbed his leg. “But I’m still good to go. Don’t worry about me, just worry about your performance.”

“Um,” Fluttershy spoke up, “I was just wondering. We haven’t played any of my songs yet, and—”

“It’s the semifinals.” Rainbow put a claw on her friend’s shoulder. “We gotta do ‘Awesome as I Wanna Be.’”

“I don’t know why I even ask,” Fluttershy muttered bitterly.

Prince Bean shot a look to Sunset that was supposed to motivate her to say something, but she shrank back and held one arm with her claw in shame. It seemed that she was scared, and he decided quickly that pushing the matter would only introduce more anger into an already volatile situation.

A round of applause broke out as Trixie finished, and Prince Bean clenched his jaw in worry when Celestia cheerfully proclaimed that their song had been fantastic. She knew what was at stake, but now he was worried that her desire to be fair would prevent her from allowing the Rainbooms to move on, should they prove to be inferior.

“Better get backstage, Your Highness,” Rarity whispered. “We’ll be fine; don’t worry.”

With a quick nod, Prince Bean moved back into his hiding place and prepared for one last defence. After this, the Dazzlings would take the fight to the Rainbooms directly, and once they had their magic, nothing would be able to stop them.

“Good luck topping that performance, Rain Goons,” he heard Trixie mock.

“Ha! Please,” Rainbow countered. “I could win this thing as a solo act, and everybody knows it.”

“Sure you could,” Trixie sneered.

“C’mon, Sunset. Say something,” Prince Bean grunted, but the only thing he heard was the low kvetching from the other Rainbooms.

“Next up, The Rainbooms,” Celestia announced.

“Knock ‘em dead, Rainbooms!” Sunset finally offered. “I’ll be here. Just watching.”

Prince Bean’s claw went into his pocket, and he slowly pulled Discord’s ear out before looking it over. Despite what his wife had told him about letting the Rainbooms learn how to use their magic, he was pretty extra sure that he was going to have to use that free smiting before the day was done.

“Not yet, Bean,” he muttered as he pocketed it again. “Give them a chance.”

Pinkie Pie furiously introduced the song, and Prince Bean sat on a pile of sandbags as Rainbow began to shred on her guitar. He was no expert on human music, by any means, but if he was, he would say that the other girls were not trying to match their leader’s enthusiasm. Though he couldn’t see them, he could tell they were only going through the motions, and he could just imagine their indignant looks of exasperation.

“Awesome as I wanna be!” Rainbow crowed. “Awesome as I wanna be!”

Prince Bean almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Every line screamed out as a grand proclamation to the greatness that was Rainbow Dash, and if anyone dared to challenge the notion, she would set them straight with very little effort. He knew the Rainbow from his world was a bit egotistical, but this was grandstanding on a whole different level. How in Equestria could the other girls possibly tolerate such audacious bragging?

Something deep inside compelled him to watch the incoming implosion first hoof, and it was exactly what he expected to be. From behind the side curtains, he watched as Rainbow danced and strutted around the stage like an overstuffed peacock, and the scowls from the others were even deeper than he’d imagined. Even Sunset looked mortified, and it only took a quick moment for the rest of the Rainbooms to pull back with infuriated scowls.

For a moment, Prince Bean wondered if he was going to have to save Rainbow Dash from her own friends.

The opportunity for a mutiny was squelched before he had fully realized it was a possibility. From out of nowhere, Sunset dove onto the stage and tackled Rainbow, which then set of a chain reaction of destruction. Rainbow stumbled back into Rarity, who kicked her leg out in an effort to maintain her balance. That kick sent Applejack’s bass flying, where it flew in a neat arc until it impaled itself, headstock first, into Pinkie Pie’s snare. There was a brief moment of silence as the house lights snapped on, but once they did, Fluttershy let out a screech, tossed her tamborine, and ran for the exit in tears.

“That could have been better,” he muttered as his claw once again pulled out Discord’s ear. After that disaster, there was no way the Rainbooms were going on to the finals.

“Now that’s the bad girl we love to hate!” Flash proclaimed while Celestia and Luna took furious notes on the performance. Jeers and insults flew rapidly, and Sunset could do nothing but cringe as the Rainbooms left the stage.

“No,” she muttered to the ground. “It isn’t like that.”

Prince Bean quickly glanced up, and he was just in time to catch a knowing glance being passed between the sirens. Even if they hadn’t orchestrated this, it was exactly what they had wanted, and they were one step closer to achieving their goal.

“What was that?” Rainbow demanded once they were all off stage.

“You were showing them your magic!” Sunset protested. “I didn’t know what else to do!”

“Close the curtains?” Rarity offered with a sarcastic bite in her every word. “Unplug her amp? Give us a chance to deal with the situation?”

“I’m sorry! I just wanted to help.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t.” Rainbow growled.

“Rarity, can I ask you something real quick?” Prince Bean hopped down from the stage with a wince, but then he stood as tall as he could and tapped one end of his cane in his hand. “Did you see Rainbow’s magic emerging?”

“I, uh,” she stammered for a moment. “No. No, I did not.”

“Applejack, how about you? Did you see anything, or were you too busy being annoyed by her posturing?”

“Hey!” Rainbow indignantly shouted.

“No, Ah didn’t see anything happenin’ either,” she grumbled.

“Pinkie? How about you?” Prince Bean asked. “No? Fluttershy, surely you saw something, right?” He pressed, but a shake of her head was the official reply. “Really? So, you wanted Sunset to give you a chance to handle the situation, but none of you even realized there was a situation unfolding?”

The best answer anypony could give to him was a grumbled acknowledgement.

“Maybe there’s something about human culture that I don’t know about, but where I come from, a pony usually tries to figure out the truth before they assign blame. I was watching you that time, and I saw, for a brief moment, what Sunset saw. Your pony ears were beginning to show, Rainbow, and Sunset made the best decision she could in the half a second she had to make it. Another moment longer, and your magic would have been exposed to the whole school and the sirens.”

“Yeah, well, this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been showing off!” Applejack gave Rainbow a quick shove. “As usual.”

“Maybe Principal Celestia will still let you perform, despite what happened,” Prince Bean said. “I’ll see if I can talk to her real quick.”

Celestia was already moving towards the stage, but the human Bean was following right behind her with a worried look. Thankfully, Prince Bean managed to catch his attention with a furious waving of his arms, and Mister Bean quickly realized what the prince wanted. A sigh of relief came as Mister Bean stepped out through a nearby door, but Vice Principal Luna glanced over her shoulder in confusion when she saw him on the stage.

“Mister Bean? Were you not just behind us?”

“I jumped up here,” he lied. “I know what happened was bad, but maybe Sunset tripped? I think you need to investigate what happened.”

“You want us to believe that what happened was an accident?”

“I’m saying it could have been an accident.”

Celestia shook her head, but it was clear she didn’t like what she had to say. “I’m sorry, Mister Bean, but that is highly unlikely. I’m afraid we’ll have to…”

The doors to the stage suddenly opened, and Prince Bean’s heart began to hammer as the Dazzlings strolled in. They must have figured out what was going on, and were now here to ensure that the last remaining threat to their plan was removed!

An odd thought came to him as they began to sing. If the Rainbooms were the threat, why were the sirens backstage? They were going to be eliminated anyway, so why bother?

Luna quickly fell back into a trance, but a brief surge of relief came when Celestia gasped and then matched her sister’s vacant stare. The magic was not taking hold again, and with the Principal still free, she could proclaim the Rainbooms as the winners. They could still play on and unleash the counterspell.

But why would the sirens want that?

“Sister, I believe we both know who should be declared the victor.” Luna’s hollow words were obviously not her own.

“Indeed. One band was clearly better than the other.” Celestia picked up a nearby microphone, but it was impossible to miss her heavy sigh as she walked out to center stage with her sister.

“What is she doing?” Prince Bean muttered.

“The band that will be joining the Dazzlings in tonight’s finals is… the Rainbooms,” Celestia flatly announced.

“What?!” Trixie shouted from offstage. The sentiment echoed through the gym, and the Rainbooms took the stage again amidst boos and jeers.

“Congratulations, girls. You deserved it.” Celestia forced the words past clenched teeth and a fake smile.

“Seriously?” Pinkie protested. “We didn’t even—”

Rainbow’s hard jab to Pinkie’s ribs silenced the outburst, but Prince Bean hardly noticed. He knew why Celestia had let them move on, but that should have infuriated the sirens, not delighted them.

Unless they needed the Rainbooms to move on. Despite their bickering, they were still not under the Dazzlings’ spell, and that probably meant that they were not at their full power. The needed more time to corrupt the Rainbooms, and they would have plenty of time to do so between now and the finals.

The wicked cackle of Queen Chrysalis echoed in the space between his ears, and Prince Bean grunted in determination. He absolutely refused to let these sirens win, and in the name of his wife, he was going to ensure that they received their just desserts for all of the trouble they had caused.

* * ✹ * *

9. - Endgame

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“Something isn’t right.”

Adagio Dazzle tapped her foot as she mentally reviewed the situation. The students of Canterlot High were under her control. Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna obeyed their every whim. The Rainbooms had been vilified, and Trixie only needed a slight nudge to be well on her way to doing something delightfully nasty to ensure she was the one who competed in the finals.

But as she watched the holders of Equestrian magic exit the gym with their heads held low to avoid the jeers of the students, she had the feeling that something was interfering with her designs. While she couldn’t quite place why, it seemed like the Rainbooms were not as irritated as they should be. She needed a volcanic eruption of anger to regain her full power, but at the moment, they were nothing more than a simmering stream of annoyed lava that harmlessly meandered to the ocean.

Adagio shook her head and cursed once more at the fact that she had been banished to this magic-deprived dimension by that wrinkled old billy goat of a pony. When she got back, she was going to hunt down that meddling fool and pluck his beard out one hair at a time, but not before he was forced to watch her enslave his precious ponies in her newly restored magic.

A wicked smile came with that thought. Maybe the shock of seeing her again, fully powered, would be too much for his heart and he’d croak right on the spot.

“This is a travesty! A travesty!”

Adagio’s smile grew, and she motioned for Aria and Sonata to follow her over to the melodramatic leader of the Illusions. That volcano of energy was still possible. It just needed a human sacrifice to make it blow.

Though it was a shame that was only a metaphor. Adagio would literally throw Sonata into any convenient volcano without a second thought.

“It really is!” Adagio put a comforting hand of understanding on Trixie’s shoulder. “The Rainbooms don’t deserve to be in the finals, not when your band was so much better in the semis.”

“And wanted it so much more,” Aria quickly added.

“Alas, this is the way it’s going to be.” Adagio held up her hand and mimed the headlines. “Dazzlings versus Rainbooms.”

“Unless, of course, the Rainbooms don’t make it to their set and are held up for some reason,” Sonata added.

Adagio smiled deeply as Trixie began to cackle with wicked delight. That shove was going to be coming in short order, and soon the whole of Equestria would be her playground.

* * ✹ * *

The Great and Powerful Trixie and her Illusions slunk around the back of Canterlot High’s amphitheatre with catlike tread and in silence dread. She made no sounds as she moved towards her target, and she refused to let even one word word be spoken. A fly’s footfalls would be distinctly heard, but the only delightful sound that came to her was the general clanks and thumps of the Rainbooms as they tuned their instruments and prepared for the final showcase. For a brief moment, she wondered if she’d been watching too many musicals at home in the past few weeks, but she shook her head and refocused her thoughts.

Those Rainbooms were going down hard.

“Testing, testing,” Rainbow Dash flatly droned into the sound system. Trixie’s teeth began to grind as she once again recalled the gross injustice that she’d been subjected to, and with a snarl, she slunk into the wings and behind a large amp.

“TESTING!”

Trixie grabbed her ears and dropped to her knees as a loud whine of feedback smashed into her eardrums. What idiot was dumb enough to crank the volume up as high as it could go?

“My bad!” the school’s dietician quickly stated after the horrible noise ended. “I think I’ll go check on Luna. Be right back.”

Trixie snarled as she checked on her bandmates. Mister Bean had gone too far! First he had interfered with her fabulous and perfect plan to eliminate the Rainbooms in the gym, and now he was trying to make her go deaf! He was going to pay for this attack upon her hearing!

“This doesn’t make any sense,” Fluttershy remarked as Trixie and her Illusions moved into position. “We were awful. Doesn’t anyone else think that it’s strange that we’re the ones in the finals?”

“Very strange,” Trixie announced, and she glared furiously as the Rainbooms turned their attention to the intruder.

“What are you doing here, Trixie?” Rainbow asked. “Pretty sure the losers are supposed to be up there, in the cheap seats.”

“The Great and Powerful Tr-r-rixie is the most talented performer at Canterlot High. It is I who deserves to be in the finals, and I will not be denied!”

Trixie snapped her fingers, but nothing happened. She snapped again, and again, but the Rainbooms remained right were they were, each looking either confused or amused, except for that insufferably smug Rainbow Dash.

“Miss Trixie?” a new, deep voice called out, and Trixie’s heart froze. “What in the name o’ me cursed kilts do you think you’re doing?!”

“Deputy Star Struck!” Trixie whirled, giggled nervously, and began twirling a lock of her hair around her fingers like it was cotton candy. “I didn’t think you were here already.”

“Obviously,” the dutiful policeman replied with a scowl on his face and the guilty-looking Illusions just to his left. “Now, answer the question, or I’ll haul you and your cronies in for attempted assault.”

“Well, Trixie was just, um, trying to clarify that she, uh, she was the best performer?”

“And Ah suppose causing physical injury and destroying personal property is the best way to prove that?”

Trixie stammered for a moment, but then hung her head in shame and defeat. There was no plausible argument she could concoct that would explain away her malicious actions.

“Ah think you three need to have a blether with Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna. Let’s go.”

Trixie’s band was marched towards the school, but Trixie took the time to throw one more furious glare back at Rainbow Dash. Somehow, someway, she was going to have her revenge!

~*~

“WHAT?” Adagio grabbed Sonata’s shoulders and began to shake her. “Why was the Deputy right there?! I thought I told you to distract him!”

“I tried to!” Sonata protested. “But when I mentioned Taco Tuesdays, he started telling me about how much he loves haggis, and then he started telling me what’s in it! Do you know how gross that stuff really is?”

Adagio threw up her hands in frustration, marched a few steps away from her incompetent minion, and glared at the stage where the Rainbooms were preparing. She had been trying to keep her hands clean in this whole affair, because their mind control spell would fall apart if any of the Dazzlings were caught doing something directly to the Rainbooms.

But her hand had been forced now, and she motioned for Sonata and Aria to follow her. Without Equestrian magic, they would be underpowered and unable to exact their revenge, and Adagio refused to be denied any longer.

“Aria, you go pull the lever for the trap door,” Adagio ordered. “Sonata and I will distract the Rainbooms. Once we’ve taken care of them, nothing is going to stop us.”

With Deputy Star Struck now gone, there was no one to impede the Dazzlings and Adagio forced herself to remain calm and even. This had to work; Adagio refused to consider the possibility that her plan could be defeated. With a few swift and determined steps, she moved to hide behind some props being stored on stage right, and after taking a quick moment to plot out what she would say, she grabbed Sonata by the arm and stepped out into view.

“Oh, now what?” Rainbow Dash protested. “First Trixie, and now you? Give it up! You know we’re going to win.”

“I’m sure you believe that,” Adagio countered with a wicked grin. “And you’ve certainly proven to be tenacious, I have to admit. Really, it’d be foolish to think we have a chance against you. Alas!” She threw a dramatic hand to her forehead. “Beaten, before we even had a chance to compete! It’s a shame, really. We’ll never know who truly was the best band at Canterlot High.”

“Hey, if you’re calling it quits now, that just proves how much more awesome my band is!”

“Our band!” the rest of the Rainbooms yelled.

“At least we can say we were taken down by the best,” Adagio continued, as she threw an arm around Sonata’s shoulders and pulled the empty-headed siren in close. “I can hear it now: The Dazzlings, forever vanquished by Rainbow Dash and the Rainbooms!”

“That’s right! Nobody messes with Rainbow Dash!”

“Unless, of course, something unfortunate were to happen,” Adagio finished with a sneer.

Aria’s timing was impeccable. At that exact moment, the trap door was released, and the Rainbooms were sent crashing into a storage area underneath the stage. With a delighted grin, Adagio peered over the edge and placed both hands on her hips, relishing the sweet taste of victory as the girls below groaned in pain.

“It’s nothing personal, of course,” she quipped. “But Trixie was so looking forward to competing, and I’d hate to leave her heartbroken. Maybe next time, girls!”

“See you never!” Sonata jeered with a wave while the trap door closed.

~*~

“This is all your fault!” Applejack shouted as she jabbed a finger at Rainbow. “If you weren’t so busy tryin’ to make this whole thing all about you, we coulda whooped those sirens hours ago!”

“Hey, I’m just trying to make sure my band rocks as hard as it needs to!”

“OUR BAND!”

Sunset Shimmer took a few steps back and bit her lower lip. This was bad. This was very, very bad.

“It might have been your idea to start a band, but it’s not just your band, Rainbow Dash!” Applejack hollered.

“I’m the one who writes all the songs!” Rainbow countered.

“I write songs!” Fluttershy stepped out from behind Rarity and glared at Rainbow. “You just never let us play any of them!”

“I had the most perfect outfits for us to wear,” Rarity added in a wistfully resentful tone.

“Again with the costumes!” Applejack threw up her hands in frustration. “No one cares what we’re wearing!”

“I care, Applejack! So sorry if I enjoy trying to make a creative contribution to the band.”

Sunset slunk back until she was up against the wall, and her heart thundered rapidly in her chest. The sirens were succeeding! With the Rainbooms at each other’s throats, they weren’t going to be able to find a way out this mess, let alone be able to use a counterspell.

“Hey!” Pinkie Pie rammed herself into the middle of the argument. “Anybody here remember fun?! I’ll give you a hint: it’s the exact opposite of being in the Rainbooms!”

“I wish I’d never asked any of you to be in my band!” Rainbow declared.

“I wish I’d never agreed to be in it!” Rarity shouted.

“Me neither!” Fluttershy and Applejack added.

The argument surged wildly out of control, and Sunset fell to her knees as she saw the magic of friendship disintegrate before her very eyes. The full fury of the Rainbooms began to pool into a bluish-green cloud of energy, and slowly, that cloud began to rise and escape through the stage above them.

The Dazzlings had won. Even now, Sunset could hear them singing above them, sucking in all the Equestrian magic they could ever need. Soon, they would enslave Canterlot High, and once they figured out where the portal was, they would return to Equestria and exact their revenge.

“The trick is to make sure you’re makin’ the right choices, and to remember that you canna turn a cargo ship on a dime. It’s the little course corrections that’ll get you on the right heading.”

Deputy Star Struck’s words had come unbidden, but Sunset pondered them for a moment. Her own downfall had come when she had allowed anger and resentment to rule her decisions, and now the Rainbooms were beginning to tread the path she’d taken. Even if Prince Bean and Princess Luna managed to stop the sirens, the damage being wrought to her friends would soon be irreversible.

But there was still time, and they were her friends. The course could be corrected now, but she needed to act quickly.

“Stop!” Sunset shouted as she stood. “You have to stop!”

The interruption quelled the argument just enough to allow Sunset to continue. “Don’t you see? This is what they’ve been after all along! They’re feeding off the magic inside of you!”

“How can they be usin’ our magic?” Applejack asked. “It’s the magic of friendship!”

“This isn’t friendship! Ever since all of you started this band together, you’ve been letting little things get to you. I never said anything because I didn’t feel like it was my place; not when I was so new to this whole ‘friendship’ thing. I still have a lot to learn, but I do know that if you don’t work out even the smallest problems right at the start, the magic of friendship can be turned into something else.” Sunset paused, but then a small smile came. “I may not have all the answers, but I know I can count on my friends to help me find them.”

There was an awkward silence for few moments, but then Rainbow Dash cleared her throat. “I, um, I may have been a bit bossy, what with the whole ‘my band’ thing.”

“And Ah reckon Ah’ve been a bit too uptight about the costumes,” Applejack added. “But you know what? We can still pull this off! C’mon, y’all! Let’s get out of here and prove that we still got the magic of friendship!”

A cheer came with Applejack’s pronouncement, but before they could attempt an escape, a loud bang came at the door, and the whole thing bowed in so far that it nearly broke.

“What the hay?” Rainbow asked, but before anyone could answer, the door exploded inward in a spray of splinters and hinges. A yellow pony then stuck his head in the doorframe, took a quick look at the damage, and a sheepish grin overtook his face.

“I didn’t mean to kick it that hard. Everypony okay?” He gave a wince. “Excepting my bum leg, that is.”

“Prince Bean!” the Rainbooms cheered.

“I can’t leave you girls alone for five minutes, can I?” Prince Bean answered with a bob of his eyebrows. “What happened?”

“The Dazzlings happened,” Pinkie Pie growled. “They were all like, ‘Oo, we’re being taken down by the best,’ and then Rainbow Dash was all like ‘No way! I’m the best!’ and then they opened that trap door—and why is there a trap door that big right in the middle of the stage, anyway?—and then we got into this ginormous fight, but then Sunset reminded us all that we’re friends, so we’re going to get the band back together!”

“You stopped being a band?”

“For a minute,” Applejack said with a knowing glance to Rarity. “But Sunset fixed that. We’re ready to take on the Dazzlings for sure now!”

“I am most pleased to hear that,” Princess Luna said with a broad smile as she entered the room, “for I have just completed the counterspell.”

Another cheer came with this, and the Rainbooms eagerly snatched the papers that the Princess offered to them. A moment of confusion came after a quick glance at what Luna had produced, but then Rainbow held up her paper and pointed to it.

“Um, Princess? This page is blank.”

“Exactly. I realized that I would be unable to create a spell that you could use, due to my ‘antiquated’ tastes in music,” she said with a slight grimace. “But as I pondered upon the matter, I came to understand that it did not matter what song you played. The trick was that you play it together, as friends.”

“That’s it?” Rarity asked. “That’s all there is to it?”

Luna nodded. “That’s all there is to it. So, which song will you be playing tonight for the finals?”

“I know just the song,” Rainbow announced, and for a brief moment, the rest of the band members looked worried. The concern gave way to a pleased happiness when Rainbow continued with “Fluttershy’s written a really great one. I think we should use it.”

Fluttershy replied to that with a small squeal of delight.

“You know, we are about to save the world here,” Applejack added with a thoughtful look. “Personally, I think we should do it in style. Rarity?”

“I thought you’d never ask!” Rarity replied as she pulled in a rack loaded with costumes with a giggle of delight.

“Wait. Were you storing those down here?” Prince Bean asked.

“Don’t think about it too hard,” Luna admonished him with a grin. “Now that we have that settled, let me share with you how we can defeat these sirens once and for all.”

* * ☽ * *

“I am just not cut out for this hero business, am I?” Bean asked with a wince. He had managed to get back into his human form, although his leg was sending him no end of messages about how dumb it was to kick open the door instead of just trying the latch from that side. “I can’t even kick in a door without injuring myself.”

“Oh, quit grousing.” Luna gave him a stern glare while she adjusted the cushion under his leg. “Just sit there and relax. We needed to get them out as quickly as possible, and you were the only one who could do something about it. Besides, it’ll give Celly a reason to fuss over you when we return home.”

Bean squirmed in the lawn chair that had been provided to him, and he drew in a long breath. “Fuss is right, but I’m not so sure that it’ll be the right kind of fuss. Are you sure I can’t help with something? I feel like such a lump just sitting here, watching the Rainbooms and you set up the equipment for the Battle.”

“The preparations are nearly complete, Bean. These modern instruments and their equipment are not difficult to prepare.”

“Luna, for the record, I do trust you,” Prince Bean said as he held out Discord’s ear in his claw and gave it a squeeze. “But I gotta admit, I’m a bit worried about all of this. I’m really tempted to summon Discord with this thing and to let him take care of everything.”

“To be honest, I am worried too.” Luna drew in a deep breath as they looked over the stage lights that had been placed in strategic positions along the hillside that was to be their impromptu stage. “But my sister is correct. It will be extremely difficult for us to answer every call for assistance. We need to let the Rainbooms learn how to harness and control their magic.”

There was a thoughtful pause, but then Bean asked the other question that was on his mind. “So, could you really not create a translation for your counterspell?”

The sister-in-law chuckled slightly and shook her head. “Technically I could, but it would sound like the Rainbooms were singing from the dictionary to the accompaniment of a bugle that has been run over by a herd of buffalo. It would not have the full efficacy that would be required.”

“And then you thought of this?”

“I had some help with that.” The corners of Luna’s mouth twitched upwards, and her gaze went up to the cloudy evening sky. “I struggled for some time with the spell, until the thought to utilize the Rainboom’s song was whispered to me by a Star. The order of battle came with it, and the rest just fell into place.”

Bean followed Luna’s gaze, and a soft smile came when a familiar spirit sent a chill down his bare skin as it moved to embrace the Princess. “Among other things, I’m sure.”

“Among other things.” Luna nodded, and with a hum, she wrapped herself in a hug that also held an unseen but well-known love within it. “I admit, meeting the human Star has been a revelatory experience for me, and without him, none of this would have been possible. The memories that he has triggered were of those times when my Star was my best friend. In everything I did, he was my greatest advocate, and he refused to allow any to speak disparagingly of me, even Celestia. His friendship kept me from the Nightmare throughout his life and for many years past, and I fell because I allowed my jealousy of Celly to override those lessons he had passed to me. I have to admit, I have often reflected on how ponies need to learn the same lesson repeatedly in their lives. Even now, my choices force me to relearn those things that I should already know.”

“At least you are humble enough to learn,” Bean remarked.

“I hope I never lose that ability.” Her gaze drifted to him, and she dipped her head slightly, as if she was thanking him. “And I hope you will continue to teach me.”

“I think that’s supposed to be the other way around.”

“It is both, and that is right. We should always seek to learn from each other. Above all, Bean, thank you for being my friend. I have always suffered from a shortage of those, but is it most pleasing to have them in life.”

“A little something like another alicorn we know?” Bean asked with a sly grin.

“It is a trait that I have passed to her, I fear, but I am most grateful my sister was able to prepare her for my redemption.”

“Passed to her?” Bean asked, but before Luna could answer, the Rainbooms approached, dressed in their stage costumes and looking ready for whatever awaited them in the upcoming battle.

“Everything is in place, Princess,” Rainbow announced, “but are you sure we’re going to be able to play over them from over here?”

“Indeed. The amplification factor of your electroacoustic transducers exceeds the minimum thresholds needed to negate the decibel level, and thus, the performance of the Dazzlings.”

“Huh?”

“She means you’ll be loud enough,” Sunset said.

“Oh.”

“You will emerge from the conflict victorious, Rainbow Dash. Have faith in your friends, and in yourself.”

Rainbow scoffed and offered a confident grin. “Hah! Those sirens aren’t going to know what hit them!”

“Just in time, too.” Applejack pointed down to the main stage. “The Dazzlings are startin’ right now.”

A three-part harmony drifted up to the hillside, and Bean swallowed hard as he stood. Despite the pain in his leg, the desire to see the battle forced him onto his feet as the Dazzlings strode confidently to the center of the stage. One way or another, everything would end here and now.

“Welcome to the show!” The big haired leader crooned. “We’re here to let you know, our time is now, your time is running out.”

“Everybody ready?” Rainbow called out. “Let’s do this!”

There was no hesitation from the Rainbooms, or from the Royals. Guitars were plugged into amps, lights were aimed at the band, and just as the Dazzlings sang of their ultimate triumph, the Battle began.

The initial attack was a complete success. The Rainbooms quickly tapped into their inner magic, and Bean took careful mental notes on how the transformation affected the individual players. The ears were a nice touch, he had to admit, but the lengthened hair seemed like it would be more cumbersome than useful, and he wondered for a brief moment if Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash knew how to control their wings.

From his vantage point, Bean could see that the sirens had been caught completely off guard, and he laughed a little when the leader of the sirens stomped her foot and nearly screamed. The assembled crowd gasped as they turned their attention to the new sound, and a few small cheers came as the Rainbooms extolled the power of friendship.

The victory was short lived, and a wicked grin came as the lead siren regained her composure. “So the Rainbooms want to turn this into a real battle of the bands? Then lets battle!”

The counterattack was almost as effective as the Rainboom’s assault had been. With a surge of power, the Dazzlings each grew a pair of pony ears and thin, translucent wings that reminded Bean of a corrupted bat. Another surge brought three effigies to life just above the girls, and the pony prince nearly shouted into Discord’s ear for backup.

Sirens. They were true Sirens, fitting the descriptions that Celestia and Luna had shared with him to a T. They were huge, they were filled with fangs, and they were coming right at them!

A furious drum solo from Pinkie Pie managed to drive off and divide the assailants, and Bean staggered back as Luna wrapped her arms around him. Another surge of hope came as the sound waves carried bits of rainbows with them; the Elements were beginning to work! They had tapped into the magic!

Bean whooped when Rarity summoned a wave of diamonds from her keytar and sent them smashing into the purple siren. He and Luna both screamed in delight when Fluttershy drove off the blue siren’s attack with a massive butterfly assault.

Then the leader slammed a wave of her magic into Rainbow’s attack, broke through it, and shoved the lead guitarist back with the remaining force. Bean gasped when the other two sirens moved back into position and joined in the sonic wave, and he would have used Discord’s ear at that point, if he had not been knocked off his feet with the rest of the Rainbooms.

“Sunset Shimmer!” Rainbow called out with an outstretched claw. “We need you!”

There was a brief moment of hesitation, but Bean smiled slightly when he saw the fire of resolve flare to life in Sunset’s eyes. With a swift flick of her arm, she discarded her jacket, picked up the microphone that had been knocked out the mic stand nearest to her, and began to sing.

“You’re never gonna bring me down! You’re never gonna break this part of me! My friends are here to bring me ‘round, not singing just for popularity!”

“The Element of Magic,” Luna murmured gleefully. “She has found her spark.”

Bean helped Luna back up to her feet as the Sirens pressed another attack, but their desperate dive bomb was too little, too late. With Sunset Shimmer’s added power, the Rainbooms effortlessly scattered the sirens and drove them back towards the stage. Another cheer arose from the crowd as Sunset gained her own pony ears and tail, and Bean laughed deliriously when the Rainbooms began to harmonize while levitating in the air.

A rainbow then pierced the storm clouds above them, and a swirling orb of power began to form within them. Bean’s breath drew to a revered silence as a pair of wings slowly unfurled from within it, and his eyes went wide in wonderment and awe.

“Celestia?”

It was almost her. The multihued mane, the wings, and the horn were all the same on the ethereal pony that had stepped out of the magic, but the face was not quite right. If it was Celestia, then her muzzle had grown out and they eyes were white with power unbounded, but Bean quickly realized that it didn’t matter. This new pony--whether it was his beloved or whether it was the embodiment of Harmony itself--reared up, sent a surge of the purest power imaginable down the length of its horn, and promptly blasted the three sirens with a beam of rainbow magic.

For a few long moments, there was absolute silence. The siren’s effigies had been immediately reduced to nothingness, and the Dazzlings had been leveled. As they slowly pushed themselves up, they rubbed their heads in an apparent effort to stem a splitting headache.

Then they noticed something that was far worse. The ruby necklaces they’d been wearing had shattered, and were now lifeless chunks strewn about the stage. Desperate fingers grasped at the broken remains, and the Dazzlings shared a worried look with each other before trying to sing again.

It was a miserable failure for them. Lacking the energy from the accumulated negative emotions, the sirens were horribly off-key and unable to hold a rhythm. It only took one line before the crowd began to boo and hurl various examples of produce and fast food at the vanquished, and with tears, the three sirens ran offstage and into the night.

“Aw yeah!” Rainbow Dash pumped a fist as the Rainbooms hugged each other and cheered their victory. “That’ll teach them to mess with the best!”

“And we owe it all to our dear friend, Sunset Shimmer,” Rarity added with an extra hug for the bashfully modest Equestrian.

“Say, we could use another member in the band,” Rainbow said thoughtfully. “And Fluttershy could use some help on backup vocals. What do you think?”

Sunset smiled, and she grabbed a nearby extra guitar. The Rainbooms were beyond astonished as their friend shredded out a sweet riff, and a look of concern came over them as they realized what this could mean.

“I also play the guitar,” Sunset offered with subdued glee, and she bounced slightly in place with her hands behind her back.

“We’ll see,” Rainbow announced after a few seconds of thought, and the tension was happily replaced with laughter and a large group hug.

“You know, we really should thank our other Equestrian friends, too,” Fluttershy added.

“That’s right! Without them, we’d be…” Pinkie Pie stopped, and her head whipped around the hillside. “Where’d they go? They’re gone!”

* * ☽ * *

“Are you sure you don’t want to say goodbye?” Bean asked.

Luna inhaled deeply, and reached one hand out to swirl along the surface of the portal, leaving little swirls of color and glittering sparkles behind. “I am positive, Bean. I would like to offer a farewell, but I would risk asking Star Struck to come with us.”

“But then you’d have him back, wouldn’t you?”

Luna shook her head. “If there is a way to have my Star back, then I want it to be my Star. The human Star may sound like him and may act like him, but he has lived a life that is far removed from the one we shared together. I would speak to him of past events that he knows nothing about and of a child that he did not father, and there would always be that gap between us. Besides, he loves the Luna who resides here; who am I to deny myself the joys that I have already experienced? They deserve to have a glorious life together, just as I had one with my own beloved.”

Bean nodded. “I can understand that. The Celestia here is nice, but she isn’t my Celly.”

“Precisely. Besides, this will make our actions all the more legendary. Some of the greatest stories end with the protagonist disappearing without taking what is due for their heroics, and you and I will forever be spoken of in awe and reverence. Besides, we did say we would leave as soon as the sirens were dealt with, did we not?”

“I guess we did,” Bean said with a chuckle. “After you, Princess.”

Luna began to step through the portal, but she hesitated and gave Bean a curious look. “When we do get back, may I ask for your assistance?”

“Of course! What do you need me to help with?”

“I have some notes here,” Luna said as she waved the papers in her other hand, “that I have made from the memories I have of my Star. When we return, I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me organize these into a book.”

“Like that history Celly wrote about him?”

“Yes. I wish to give an account of the events from my own perspective.” Luna turned her gaze upwards to the stars and smiled, “In some way, I believe it will bring him back to me. And to the rest of our little ponies, who deserve to know about his irascible ways.”

“I’ll help you with whatever you need, Luna.”

“Thank you. Now, let us return home. Your wife awaits you.”

“I’m going to be in so much trouble,” Bean muttered while he followed Luna through the portal.

~*~

Princess Luna’s lips twitched upwards once she felt her own four hooves against the crystal of Twilight’s castle once more, and she drew in a deep draught of Equestrian air. No matter how far she wandered, it was always good to be home, in her land and with her ponies.

She stepped back from the portal and braced herself for what was to come next. The instant Bean’s hooves touched the crystal, a white blur tore through the air and he disappeared. Half a second later, an ear-splitting screech of “BEAN!” echoed off the walls and rattled the crystals of Twilight’s new home, and it took Luna a moment to follow the trajectory of the sisterly missile.

She couldn’t suppress her smile when she saw the end result. There was a bundle of white alicorn a few paces from the mirror, with four yellow legs sticking out at odd angles. Those same legs went slack with the overabundance of happy pony noises and kisses, and for a moment Luna was tempted to order them to go get a room.

“I’m here!” Twilight Sparkle suddenly burst through the doors, her breaths coming in ragged bursts and her coat slick with sweat. “It’s not too late! I can still go through the mirror, Princess Celestia, and help Princess Luna and Bean with the…”

Twilight’s eyes locked onto the Royal Snogging that was taking place, and a small gasp came at the sight of it. Another gasp came when the mentor’s eyes met the student’s, and with a flash of golden magic, the reunited lovers disappeared.

“The sirens have been defeated, Twilight Sparkle,” Princess Luna said with a smile of satisfaction. “Though I do believe your friends on the other side would still be pleased to see you. I believe they are having some sort of victory celebration at this time.

“What about Bean and Celestia?”

Luna did not say a word, but merely observed a small fleck of something interesting on the ceiling for a while. It took very little of that time for Twilight to realize just what she had said, and the longer she stood there in the silence, the pinker the tips of her ears became.

“I’ll... just... seewhatmyfriendsaredoinggoodbyePrincessLuna!”

It was not until the embarrassed princess was through the portal and Luna was alone until she began to laugh.

Epilogue

View Online

* * 🥘 * *

“You know, they never mention this part in any of the stories I read,” Mister Bean remarked to Principal Celestia as he swept the confetti and broken hot dog bits into a pile on the stage. “I’m also a bit miffed that my barbeque was used for heckling the Dazzlings off the stage. At least I used the cheap generic brand, I suppose.”

Celestia giggled a bit at that as she swept her small pile towards his. “It’s the conservation of detail, Mister Bean. The climax of this story has now come and gone, and a reader isn’t going to be interested in the mundane act of cleaning. They want the conclusion; the resolution of the plot points that have heretofore remained unresolved.”

“I guess I still have a lot to learn about writing.”

“You’ll get there, Bean. You’ve already got a good start going.”

Mister Bean gave a half-smile to that, and her heart performed a small backflip in her chest as she gazed into his sparkling sea green eyes. “Thanks. I don’t think I’ll quit my day job just yet, though.”

“I hope not. I’ve gotten used to having you around.”

“I do have plenty of material to use, I gotta admit. Talking ponies, alternate dimensions, sirens, brainwashing and magical rainbows of doom. It’s all so fantastic that it borders on the unbelievable.” Bean tapped his chin in thought. “I suppose it could be written as fiction.”

“The truth is sometimes the most unbelievable thing of all, in my experience.” Celestia said with a small shrug. “But it does make for some wonderous stories, if done properly.”

“That’d be the trick.” Mister Bean paused to glance up at the night sky, and he took in a slow breath. “You know what’d be the funniest part of the whole thing? It’d be when one of the main characters tells the others about how a talking yellow pony gave him dating advice and told him to ask his unrequited crush out on a date.”

“The amusement would be doubled when the crush reveals that the talking yellow pony kissed her.”

“He did?” Bean sounded so forlorn that Celestia tried her best to stifle a giggle, made only worse when he added under his breath, “Great. The pony me gets more action than I did.”

She had no real intention of responding, but Celestia found herself saying “That could change, if you’d like.”

Mister Bean’s broom hit the floor, and he stammered a bit as he bent down and picked it up. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea, in the end.”

“Why?”

“Well, there’s the nepotism rules to start. I’d have to transfer to a different high school if we did get serious.”

“Crystal Preparatory Academy is not too far from here, and I hear Principal Cinch is looking for a dietician, too.” Celestia leaned against her broom. “At least you don’t think I’m too old for you.”

“You’re not old,” countered Bean immediately. “You’re just... um... I better stop there.”

“Seven years difference,” said Celestia. “I have your employment records, after all.”

“Oh. I thought that you would…” Mister Bean trailed off, and his eyes went to the bristles of his broom. “Well, even after all that, I know about Sombra and Chrysalis. I’m pretty extra sure that you don’t want to ever experience that kind of pain ever again.”

“True, I will be most cautious in the future due to my past. What I told myself was control I see now was domination. Confidence was arrogance, and care was really abuse. But that strange pony and a rather blunt sister have helped me to see that I have allowed my fear to deny me the potential for joy.”

Bean’s eyes betrayed his inner confusion over her words, but he did not flinch away when her hand gently touched his. If anything, his hand had reached out first.

“I don’t know if this will work out,” she said as she stepped closer, “but I am told that it’s worth a try, and it’s been working pretty good so far.”

“I’ve heard that, too,” Bean affirmed.

“At the very least, we could see what this could be.” For the first time she lowered her gaze, a bashful blush burning in her cheeks. “It would be nice to have a new friend.”

“You know what?” He gave her hand a squeeze, and he smiled as his eyes met hers once more. “I always like making new friends, too.”

“It’s about time,” Star Struck announced from backstage. The dietician and the principal gasped at the intrusion, but both laughed as Star approached and gave them both an approving smile. “Ah was wonderin’ how long it was gonna take before one of you made a move.”

“There’s still a lot we need to learn about each other,” Mister Bean warned.

“Ah think you’ll be just fine if’n you never forget that,” Star quipped. “However, Ah was tryin’ to find Luna. Do either of you know where she is?”

“I thought she went home,” Celestia said with a wink for Mister Bean. “Something about having a rather large headache.”

“And I would be there,” Luna added as she approached from their left, “but we did carpool here together, Sister. A few aspirins have done much to improve it, but I would still like to retire for the evening as soon as is practical.”

“Oh, lass!” Star was instantly at Luna’s side, and she hummed a bit as he took her into his gentle embrace. “Why dinna you say somethin’? Ah can give you a ride home right now!”

“I would greatly appreciate that, Deputy. You truly do serve and protect, don’t you?”

“Ah do my best,” he said with a soft chuckle. “But since Ah finally have your sister here as a witness, I do have something to ask you, if Ah could.”

“Oh? What is it?” Luna asked with a knowing and expectant twinkle in her eye.

“Well, it’s what Ah wanted to talk to you about earlier. Ah’ve been thinking a lot, and Ah realize that Ah’m happiest when Ah’m with you. Ah know you could do better than me, if’n you wanted, and Ah can’t promise that Ah wouldn’t be a thick-headed wulver at times, and—”

Vice Principal Luna slid one hand over his lips, and she gave him a playfully annoyed look. “Oh, just ask already so I can say yes.”

“What? You wanna really—oh!” Star released her, and a round of laughter was shared as he dropped to one knee and produced a velvet box from his pocket. “Right, right. Luna, my dear light in the night, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

“I was wondering if you were ever going to ask,” Luna replied with a tearful smile, and she held her left hand out towards him. “Deputy Star Struck, I accept your proposal.”

“Really?” the Deputy squealed in delight for what was probably the first time in his life, and he fumbled for a moment before pulling the ring from the box and sliding onto her hand.

“A perfect fit,” Celestia noted with a sniffle of her own. There was no hesitation on her part as she moved into Mister Bean’s embrace, and she rubbed noses with him while Luna tackled Star and wrapped him up in the biggest bear hug Canterlot High School had ever seen.*

*Later, at the Canterlot Hospital Emergency Room

“I am so sorry!” Luna whispered with deep remorse.

“Och, ‘tis naught but a few cracked ribs. I’ll heal.”

* * ✹ 🥘 ☽ * *

Almost One Week Later

Principal Celestia smiled and waved to her students as they filtered out of Canterlot High, and a warm delight grew in her chest as she caught the snippets of conversations regarding their various plans for their upcoming weekend. Life had settled back into its normal pattern once more, and the predictability of that pattern always gave the dutiful administrator a sense of accomplishment and peace.

Yet, not everything had returned to normal, and as she deftly caught the frisbee that had sailed her way, she reflected for a moment on how wonderful that truly was. Tonight was to be her first date with Mister Baked Bean, and despite all of the pain and heartache she had gone through in the past, she was actually looking forward to this opportunity. The dietician had been most attentive as they had discussed Sombra’s betrayal in detail over the last week, and he expressed a heartfelt and sincere conviction to never do the same.

The best part of that promise was that she believed him.

“Is this yours?” Celestia held the frisbee out to Snips, who took it with a “thanks” and then sent it airborne once more towards Snails. Thankfully, there had been no residual effects from the siren’s magic, apart from some scattered headaches and a lot of apologies, and she smiled as she observed the magic of friendship among the student body. The sirens themselves had disappeared without a trace after the Battle of the Bands, and although Celestia was obligated to report their absence to the authorities, she was reasonably sure that Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk would not be seen in the halls of Canterlot High at any point in the future.

“Good afternoon, Miss Shimmer,” Celestia greeted with a smile as Sunset walked up to her. “How was your practice session with the Rainbooms?”

“It went really well,” Sunset said with a slight squeal of joy. “Fluttershy has this great new song she’s started, and we’re all trying to help her get it finished. We’ll have to give you a preview once it’s a little further along.”

“I would be delighted to hear it.”

“Would you happen to have a free minute? I just got a message from Princess Celestia in my journal. I guess Prince Bean is coming over for a visit and wants to talk to the Rainbooms and to you. He said he’d be here in ten minutes. I already told the others, and they’re going to meet us out there.”

“Oh, I suppose I could tear myself away from the requisition forms for a few minutes,” Celestia said with a grin.

“How’s Vice Principal Luna and Deputy Star Struck doing?”

“I’m afraid my sister has become a bit insufferable.” Celestia sighed in a good-natured way, and she rolled her eyes. “She has purchased every bridal book and magazine she can find, she is flooding her social media with requests for recommendations for everything from cakes to venues, and I have had to confiscate her credit cards to keep her from buying every wedding gown that she looks at online. It is going to be a grand celebration, and I would not be surprised if every last student received an invitation to attend.”

“Maybe she should just have the wedding in the gym,” Sunset joked as they began to walk towards the exit.

“It would be a more affordable option,” Celestia mused.

“Well, whatever she chooses to do, it’ll be awesome. Do you think she’ll invite any Equestrians?”

“I think she will invite Prince Bean and his wife, but she will be understanding if they are unable to attend. Princess Twilight will receive her own invitation, that I know for sure.”

Sunset snickered slightly as she pushed open the main door and followed the Principal outside. “It’s gonna be a bit weird to have two of you in the same room, if they do come.”

“True, but I have to admit I would like to speak to my counterpart at some point. I believe she and I would have much to talk about.” Celestia caught herself rubbing her own flat stomach and pulled her hand away quickly, before anybody else noticed. It would wait, after all.

“Princess Celestia would like to have that conversation as well,” Prince Bean called out. The principal and the student gasped at his sudden intrusion into their conversation, but that gave way to smiles and handshakes as the rest of the Rainbooms approached and formed a loose group around the two.

“I thought you said you’d be here in ten minutes,” Sunset playfully teased, and Prince Bean shrugged with a grin.

“Must be that pesky time difference between our dimensions. Go figure.”

“I must say,” Rarity pulled on the sleeve of the Prince’s immaculate blue coat, “this uniform is simply inspired! The brass buttons add a subtle boldness to your overall bearing, and this stitching is so tight and clean!”

“You’ll be pleased to hear that your pony counterpart was the one responsible for this creation,” Bean said, and Rarity swelled with pride.

“Naturally she would be, darling.”

“It’s good to see you again, Your Highness,” Fluttershy offered. “We all really wanted to thank you and Princess Luna for your help.”

“It was our pleasure, entirely. However, now that my wife halfway trusts that I won’t wander off when she lets me off my leash, she wanted me to pass along some things to you.”

“She does?” Rainbow Dash asked, and Prince Bean nodded.

“Both my wife and Twilight Sparkle do, actually. First off, I have this.” Prince Bean bent down with a slight wince, and he pulled a hardbound book from a box that had been waiting patiently beside him. With a quick flip, he revealed that the front cover was emblazoned with Twilight Sparkle’s cutie mark, and he smiled as he opened the volume and revealed the blank pages. “Princess Twilight would like to keep in touch, so she had these journals prepared for all of you. They are linked together in the same way Princess Celestia’s journal was linked to Sunset Shimmer’s book, so you may write to her whenever you like.”

“Awesome!” Pinkie Pie declared while Bean handed the journals out to the girls.

“She even has one for you,” Bean continued as he handed not one, but two books to Principal Celestia. “That bottom book is linked to Princess Celestia, and I believe she has already written a message to you in it. Both she and I would love to be your penpals, if we may.”

“Of course. I look forward to our correspondence,” Celestia replied with a smile.

“Next, I have a declaration that my wife wants me to read.” Prince Bean produced a long scroll from the box, unfurled the whole of it, and cleared his throat. “Let’s see. ‘Be it known, that on this, the fifth day of—’ oh, this is all just formal stuff. Let me see. ‘Exceptional bravery, fortitude in the face of dire odds, true ally to Equestria,’ blah blah blah, ah! Here’s the good part. ‘...that the Kingdom of Equestria does hereby recognize Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Sunset Shimmer, Applejack, and Principal Celestia with the Pink Heart of Courage.’ I have one here for each of you, along with copy of this official declaration.”

“Ah, shucks,” Applejack stammered as she doffed her hat and accepted the medal. “Y’all didn’t need to do this. We were more than happy to help out.”

“Well, the Princess insisted you should receive this high award for your actions, and I wholeheartedly agreed.”

‘Thank you kindly, Yer Highness.”

Each member of the Rainbooms thanked Prince Bean as they accepted their award, but Rainbow Dash immediately took hers in hand and studied it a bit closer with a devious grin. “Heh, wait ‘till Trixie gets a load of this! She’s gonna be furious!”

The others simply rolled their eyes at this, and Prince Bean chuckled. “Let’s see. Oh! For Principal Celestia, I have this.” He produced a rather large cloth bag which rattled and clanked while he handed it to her.

“What is this?” Celestia asked as she untied the drawstring, and a gasp came when she beheld the contents.

“I do believe there should be one dozen of each stone,” Bean offered when Celestia pulled out a diamond the size of a large pea. “Amethysts, rubies, emeralds, and whatever else we had lying around. I offer it to you as a small token of our appreciation. Weddings are expensive,” he added.

“I don’t…” Tears welled up in Celestia’s eyes, and the Rainbooms quickly moved to hug their beloved principal. “I don’t know what to say. This is…”

“I’ll say you said ‘thank you,’” Bean replied with a wink. “I am a sap for happy endings, after all.

“And that’s just about it. On behalf Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and the Kingdom of Equestria, I offer all of you my most sincere thanks for your assistance. May you all be richly rewarded for your actions, and may Harmony continue to guide your steps.”

Another round of thanks from the girls was shared with a group hug for the Prince, but then Pinkie Pie gasped, and her eyes lit up in delight. “You know what this calls for? A ‘We’re Heroines in Equestria’ party at Sugarcube Corner! My treat!”

The idea was met with much acceptance, but as the Rainbooms began to walk away, Prince Bean called out to Sunset. “May I have another moment of your time, Miss Shimmer?”

“You girls go ahead. I’ll catch up to you,” Sunset said to the others before drawing in a long breath and facing Prince Bean. “This is about that question I asked in the journal, isn’t it?”

“It is. The Princess is waiting, but you are under no obligation to come. If you need more time—”

“No, no.” Sunset glanced at Principal Celestia, and the memories of her time as the student to the other Celestia flashed before her. “I want to do this. I think I need to do it, really.” She hesitated again, glanced around, and swallowed hard. “Is she just kinda mad at me, or is she really mad?”

“You’ll have to come see for yourself,” Bean replied as he swept one hand back toward the portal.

Sunset flinched back, but she felt a small pulse of comfort when Principal Celestia put a hand on her shoulder. “If I may offer some advice, I have found it is much easier to enjoy the present if you can come to terms with your past.”

“You’re right. I’m ready, Your Highness. Let’s go.”

* * ✹ * *

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

It was an old adage that Sunset had heard dozens of times, but the true depths of the statement were now revealing themselves to her as she walked down the main hallway of the Palace and towards her old mentor.

The changes—as they had manifested when she had stepped through the portal and beheld Twilight Sparkle’s new home—were remarkable and awe-inspiring, to say the least. The Princess of Friendship had been waiting to greet Sunset, and after a quick tour, Twilight had insisted on tagging along with Prince Bean and Sunset for moral support. Sunset was more than happy to have her Equestrian friend by her side, and that gratitude had grown exponentially as they had approached Canterlot.

Nothing about her old home had changed. The colors, the smells, and even the cool touch of the tiles beneath her hooves reminded her of a life that she had rejected so many moons ago. While she knew it did no good to dwell on what might have been, she couldn’t help but wonder if she would be the one with a pair of wings and the title of Princess, if she had followed the instructions of the Princess and controlled her cravings for power.

There was one detail that was slightly different, however, and Sunset had to ask about it. “Prince Bean, why are all the stained glass windows being replaced?”

“Ah, that.” Bean chuckled nervously. “That would have been me. When Tirek attacked, I thought I could buy some time by knocking them out so he would not know about Twilight. Celly tells me the greatest artisans and glassmiths are hard at work on the repairs, but it will be several years before they can be fully restored. Even then, some of them will be quite a bit different, much to the consternation of the artistic community.” Bean scuffed one hoof along the marble floor. “In ten or twenty years, they may even talk to me again.”

“It was all for a good reason,” Twilight added. “The value of the windows is nothing compared to the value of the lives you saved.”

“I would debate you on my methods, but we’ll save it for another time,” Bean said as the ornate double doors to the throne room swung open. “We’re here.”

Sunset swallowed hard, and her head dipped low as she was lead in by the Prince. Princess Celestia radiated the same power and command that she always had, and her wings flared out as she glared at the approaching ponies. Sunset felt a bit relieved when Princess Luna gave her a wink, but the effect was only temporary. As difficult and as awkward as it was going to be, Sunset knew what she had to do.

“Introducing Miss Sunset Shimmer, Your Highness,” Bean said with a small bow.

There was an awkward pause, but then Sunset inhaled deeply and lifted her gaze to the Princess upon the throne. “Princess Celestia, the last time we saw each other, I was your snide little pupil who betrayed and abandoned you. I come before you now a changed pony, humbly asking for forgiveness for my past misdeeds and my many, many offenses against you. I have learned so much about the magic of friendship during these past few months, and if you can find it in your heart, I would like to be your friend again as well.”

Celestia’s wings folded down, but her gaze remained impassive. The tension was crushing, and Sunset’s eyes went back to her hooves in shame. “Or I can just go, and you never have to see me again.”

The familiar, feather-light touch of Princess Celestia’s hoof gently tilted Sunset’s eyes up, and her heart pounded with joy when she saw her former teacher’s soft smile.

“I’ve missed you, Sunset Shimmer.”

Tears flowed on their own accord, and Sunset felt a calm serenity wash all of her concerns away as the teacher and the student embraced each other. For several long moments, there was nothing but the calm tranquility of forgiveness and reconciliation, but when Sunset pulled back, a playful smile was tugging at her lips.

“So, a little yellow pony told me you got married.”

“Among other things,” Celestia replied with a laugh while one hoof gently rubbed her own stomach. “Could you stay for tea, Sunset? I believe we have much to talk about.”

“I would love to, Princess,” Sunset replied over Twilight Sparkle’s squee of delight.

* * ✹ * *

Sunset Shimmer smiled as she flipped open her journal, and she paused for a moment in thought. Now that she was back at Canterlot High with her friends, she had a homework assignment from the Princess, and she was looking forward to completing this one.

Dear Princess Celestia,
Thank you once again for everything! I wish there was some way I could pay you back, but I know that will be impossible. All I can do is follow your advice, and I promise I’ll do the best I can to learn all about friendship, both from Princess Twilight and from my friends here at Canterlot High.
As for your homework, I hardly know how to express everything I want to share. So much has happened, and I don’t know what we would have done without Prince Bean and Princess Luna. When I first wrote to you asking for help, I didn’t know how much both of them would change my life. I know that the beauty of this world…

Sunset paused, chortled a bit, and shook her head as she continued writing.

struck your husband in a most unique way, and I doubt he will ever forget the impact we had on him. Princess Luna was quite enamored with this world as well, and I am sure she will keep many fond memories from her time here.

A buzzing in Sunset’s pocket broke her concentration, and she smiled as she quickly glanced at the text she’d just been sent.

Will write more later, Princess. Band practice is about to start!
Your friend and student forever,
Sunset Shimmer

Sunset closed the book with a happy sigh, and she began to walk towards the practice rooms. While there was still so much she had to learn, the path she needed to take was clearer now than it had ever been before, and she knew that, with friends on both sides of the mirror, she could achieve anything she wanted to.

“Miss Shimmer?”

Sunset smiled and waved to the other Celestia she had befriended. “Hi, Principal Celestia. How are you doing?”

“I’m doing well, thank you. Have you seen Mister Bean? I have a few items of business I need to discuss with him, but I can’t find him anywhere.”

“No, I can’t say that I have.”

It was just then that a beautiful piano sonata drifted down the hallway, and a look of amazement was shared between principal and pupil before they both followed the sound. The adagio pacing of the tune seemed to keep the overall tone tight and crisp, and Sunset wondered who could could be playing such a beautiful aria with nothing more than eighty-eight keys and a deft hand.

“Mister Bean?!” Celestia exclaimed.

“Principal Celestia!” Mister Bean immediately stopped playing and sent the piano bench flying backwards as he stood. “I was just, um… just practicing.”

“You never told me you could play the piano,” Celestia said with amazement.

“Well, you never asked,” he sheepishly replied. “I’m not that good, though.”

Sunset giggled as Principal Celestia twiddled a lock of her multihued hair around one finger and blushed. “Could you play some more?”

Mister Bean nodded with a soft grin. “I would love to.”

* * ✹ * *

“Bean?” Princess Celestia called out from the bathroom. “Are you still reading that Star Struck book?”

“Mm-hmm,” he grunted back without looking up.

“You should put that up. It’s time for bed.”

“But I am in bed,” he countered with a grin.

“Perhaps, but I have found it is very difficult to multitask while in bed.”

Bean glanced up, and his heart swelled with delight—and a few other emotions—as his beloved wife slunk into the room in a loosely-tied silk robe. A sultry smile overtook her perfect face as she delicately pranced over to him, and Bean completely forgot about the book as she slid onto the bed.

“You see, this thing—” Celestia pointed behind her “—most certainly does not work separately from this—” and she kissed him “—or these” she added, wrapping her forelegs around his neck and pulling him close. “No paperwork in bed for me or you. Put that book down.”

“But it’s a good book,” protested Bean, but still giving in to a long kiss. “A really good book,” he added.

“I’m better,” purred Celestia as she turned off the light.

Principal Noses and Ancient Roses

by Irrespective

1. - The Mission

2. - A Brave New World

3. - Revelations

4. - The Past is Present

5. - Perchance to Dream

6. - Conversations

7. - Counterspell

8. - Battle of the Bands

9. - Endgame

Epilogue