6. - Conversations
The sun rises every morning.
This was a truth that was not only universal, but multiversal as well. The only true difference was how it rose, and with whom.
Princess Celestia rose with the sun, both literally and figuratively. She had for a millennium, and as far as anypony knew, she would continue to do so for a millennium more.
Principal Celestia, on the other hand, simply rose with a start and a snort when a ray of sunshine snuck through her window and hit her right in the eye. Joints popped and bones creaked while she sat up and wiped away the sleep from her eyes, and for a moment, she wasn’t quite sure of where she was.
Once the memories of last night—or what remained of them, at least—organized themselves into a very loose chronological order, Celestia glanced behind her but found no Princess Luna. She also found that she had somehow stumbled into the guest room, which explained why she had thankfully not ended up with Prince Bean.
She did not want to explain her way out of that one. Not in a thousand years.
After taking care of the urgent need to use the little girl’s room and fighting with a horrible hair monster for a few minutes in front of the mirror, Celestia threw on her bathrobe and shuffled downstairs. Prince Bean and Princess Luna were chatting lightly with one another while looking at yesterday’s newspaper, but they looked up from the article as she approached, and both gave her an uncertain smile.
“Good morning!” Bean said first. “How are you feeling?”
It was a question which deserved much thought, and even more coffee. Thankfully, the percolator was quietly burbling away, and after pouring herself an inky black cup and drinking it right down to the bottom, then filling the cup back up again, she had enough thought to respond.
“Better,” she murmured. Without looking at Luna or the other person at the table, she took another drink. “Allow me to apologize for last night, however. What little I remember was... bad. Quite bad.”
“No need,” Bean said with a happy grin that only made Celestia want to hold him underwater for a few hours. “I understand the ‘why’ behind it.”
Celestia frowned and huffed while settling into her familiar seat, with the newspaper folded to one side of her plate, a glass of fresh orange juice nearby, and two slices of plain buttered toast awaiting her pleasure. It was both welcome and slightly disturbing to realize just how much the young man knew of her morning routine, and worse when she considered that he had gained that knowledge during his intimate encounters with her pregnant pony counterpart.
“I hope you understand that I do not blame you for what has happened, or the human version of you. Mister Bean has done fantastic things for Canterlot High in the short amount of time he’s been with us, and I wish all of my staff could be as supportive and dedicated as he is. He has a way of naturally bringing out the best in a person, somehow. You can’t help but feel a little better after you talk to him.”
“Well, that’s because you can’t be angry with a happy stomach,” Bean quipped with a sly grin. “But may I just make one observation? A very wise pony once told me something that gave me a profound insight: all ponies—or people—see the light from where they stand. From what you’ve told me, your heart is in a place that has very little light, and you feel that will never change. I would only ask that you not shut out the possibility of love. I am sure your head tells you that to do so is the ultimate foolishness, but we all have hearts for a reason. My Celestia and I have felt the greatest joys of our lives when we are together, and I believe that you are allowed to feel the same.
“But your relationship with Mister Bean is just that: yours. I will be here a short time, and I don’t want to ruin the relationship you have with my counterpart. Follow the path that you feel is best.”
Celestia nodded slowly and with a deeply thoughtful look. “I’ll keep that in mind. Now, if you’ll give me just a few minutes, I’ll get dressed—” She stopped abruptly at the realization that she was dressed in her old ratty bathrobe, the one with the holes worn under the arms, some loose seams, and loose enough to allow any interested bystander to see far more principal than anybody deserved. Still, neither of the Equestrians seemed put out in the least, and since they ran around naked all day anyway, there was probably no harm from her accidentally flashing her guests. A little. Gathering the bathrobe tighter and retying the belt, she continued. “I’ll get dressed in something more appropriate and then we can head over to the school. I’m afraid I don’t have anything here that I can offer for a real breakfast, but we can stop somewhere and get something to go.”
“That will be fine,” Luna replied. “I arranged for my sister to meet Prince Bean in his dreams last night, and she has several important documents to send to us through the portal. With this information, we should be able to devise a foolproof plan to defeat the sirens.”
“You can visit each other in your dreams?”
“Ponies in general cannot under normal conditions, but Prince Bean and Princess Celestia share a unique connection.”
Celestia’s eyes drifted between Bean and Luna for a moment as she thought this over. “How is that even possible?”
“Magic,” Luna said with a smirk.
“Of course.” Celestia shook her head and instantly regretted it. “I should have realized. I’m not really sure what else I was expecting.”
* * ✹ * *
“So, you don’t want me to meet this Discord fellow?” Principal Celestia asked while she eased her car to a stop in her reserved stall. The commute to work this morning had been considerably more sedate than normal, at a speed that any traffic officer would have considered suspicious.
“It would probably be for the best,” Princess Luna replied. “Discord is a rather playful character—”
Bean rolled his eyes, but remained silent.
“—and while he means no harm, his antics can be offensive at times.”
“He can’t be all that bad,” Celestia said. “I work with teenagers, after all. But I do have quite a bit of work to get done before the Battle of the Bands, so perhaps we can be introduced another time.”
“Another time, then.”
“My sister should be arriving shortly,” Celestia continued, “so you may want to be quick. I think the second floor of the library should be an ideal place for you to complete the counterspell. It is normally closed on weekends, and everybody will be occupied with the Battle of the Bands, anyway.”
“That should be fine, thank you.”
“Okay,” Bean announced from the back seat. “Seriously, I must protest.”
“Protest what?”
“This thing has way too much salt in it,” Bean muttered. “The eggs are dry and lifeless, the cheese has been processed about five times too many, and the green peppers have been flash frozen for at least a month. Even the tortilla is stale. And what are these brown lumpy things in here?”
“I didn’t mind,” said Luna through the remains of her breakfast. “They’re not bad at all, with enough hot sauce packets.”
“They’re fast, they’re cheap, and the place is right on the way to work,” Celestia added with a twinge of hunger starting to return. “Fast food isn’t known for its flavor, I’m afraid.”
“Well.” Bean regarded the subject of their conversation, took another sniff, and one more small bite. “I’ll go so far as to say it’s edible, but no more. It’s an affront to the art of cooking. And the science. It exists merely to provide a comparison to real food. And the hot sauce is nothing more than mislabeled ketchup!”
“Your displeasure is noted,” Princess Luna replied. “We appreciate your willingness to endure this trial for the good of all. Your name will be spoken of with awe and reverence when the story of the Breakfast Burrito Gone Wrong is told to future generations.”
“Har de har har,” Bean said with a small huff. “Just for that, I’m not going to make that Istallion eggplant parmesan when we get back. You know, the one with the butter oozing out of the layers with the crispy garlic breadcrumbs, and enough moozzeralla cheese to make puddles.” Bean looked out the window. “Toast. Nothing but toast for a week. Dry toast.”
“Oh, quit pouting,” Luna shot back while popping the door open. “You and I both know that Celly will order a three-day feast when she hears about how you had to suffer a single subpar meal, and then Pinkie Pie will throw another party on top of that. With cake.”
“Celly?” Celestia asked while she and Bean exited her car. “I always prefered Tia, myself.”
“My sister never did care for Tia,” Luna said. “It reminded her too much of tea, supposedly.”
Celestia shrugged. “I’ll meet you inside when you’re done.”
Bean and Luna nodded to this before moving towards the portal. Bean’s cane tapped in a steady beat against the sidewalk, and after a few dozen paces, he shuffled his feet in a rough approximation of a dance step.
“I could take up tap dancing when we get home if they let me keep this,” he said with a smirk. “Think Celly would be interested in joining me?”
“She probably would, but the height difference between you two may make the endeavor a little more complicated than is usual.”
“I’m sure we could work it out.”
“I personally think that is a wonderful idea,” Discord replied from behind, and the two royals let out a yelp before rounding on the draconequus.
“Discord!” Luna shouted with a glare as Bean clutched at his chest.
“I could show you a few moves myself, Bean-o,” Discord went on. With a flash, he produced a matching cane and tap shoes, and he demonstrated his skills with a smooth shuffle step. “I did take home top honors in the Best in Breed event, after all.”
“Just as soon as I get over this heart attack,” Bean wheezed. “You turn into a youmun here, too?”
“Not bad, eh?” Discord said with a twirl. “I do like the orange zoot suit, I must admit, and the portal was kind enough to let me keep my rougeish charms. I’m just perfect no matter where I am.”
“Yeah, that must be it,” Bean said with a roll of his eyes. “Did you bring the plans?”
“Yes, yes,” Discord sighed while he produced three scrolls and handed them over to Luna. “Terribly boring things, all full of neat little battle plans and organized lines of assault. I personally think that if you’re going to take on these sirens, you should do so with a little pizzazz. I could help you with that, you know. My offer for one free smiting still stands.”
Bean hesitated for a moment. The offer was tempting; Discord would be able to solve the problem for him with a minimum of fuss. He could get back to his own dear wife all the sooner, and everything would have a happy ending.
But then his dream conversation with his wife came back to him, and he slowly shook his head. “I think I’ll hold on to that smiting, if I can. Celestia wanted the Rainbooms and Sunset Shimmer to defeat the sirens, if at all possible, and I agree with her. If that proves to be impossible, I’ll have you step in and take care of them, if you don’t mind.”
“Are you saying I’m your last line of defense?”
“Pretty much, yes.”
Discord let out a small squeal of delight with a burst of confetti. “How delightful! Moi, the hero of the day! I’ll swoop in at the last minute, just when the chips are down so far that they’re swimming in guacamole, and this world will love me for saving them from that nasty trio of brainwashers!”
“You do realize that Sunset Shimmer could actually succeed, correct?” Luna said.
Discord scoffed. “Oh, sure. That’s a remote possibility, but let’s be honest. Miss Matchstick isn’t ready for the big leagues yet. She barely knows what friendship is, let alone how to weaponize it, and without Twilight, you’re short one Element Bearer. It’ll be a valiant stand, I’m sure, but rather futile in the end.”
“I think Sunset is going to surprise you,” Bean added.
“We’ll see by tonight, won’t we? It should be most entertaining.”
“That I don’t doubt one bit.”
“Well, I should be going,” Discord said as he pulled one of his ears off and handed it to Bean. “Once you decide it’s time for my big introduction, just shout into that. Make sure you wait until all hope is lost, flaming rocks falling from the sky, shrieks of despair, things like that. All right?”
“I can do that,” Bean said, but then a thought came to him. “Hey, can you check on Fluttershy and the others for me? Celestia said she hasn’t heard from them, and we were both worried something might have happened.”
“Fluttershy is in peril?!” Discord clutched one claw to his chest. “Why didn’t you say so sooner! Hang on, my dear! I will rescue—”
Discord’s heroics were cut short when he ran face first into the solid stone of the portal, but he quickly peeled himself off and tried once more. The result was the same, and once he finished staggering around and blinking rapidly, the draconequus quickly grew frantic.
“The portal! It won’t open!” Discord beat his hands against the unyielding surface and began to cry. “I’ll be stuck here in this disgusting normal form forever! I’ll probably get a job selling insurance, buy a house with a picket fence, and a dog! A DOG! A little yappy thing with big eyes who chases the mailman and sits on my lap while I watch television and get old!”
“Discord?” Bean waved a hand through the statue plinth and observed the resulting yellow hoof. “It’s on this side.”
“Oh.” Discord moved around the base of the statue and eyed Bean. “Yes, of course. I knew that. You’re not going to tell anypony, are you?”
“Never,” said Bean.
* * 🥘 * *
Principal Celestia pinched the bridge of her nose while she unlocked the door to her office. She needed more coffee, a bottle of aspirin, and something more satisfying than a couple of greasy breakfast burritos if she was to get through the day without banishing someone to detention. One of those items was in her top drawer, one could be brewed in a few minutes, but she ruefully admitted to herself that she was probably going to have to soldier on without the third.
She was not happy with that, but there was little that could be done to remedy the problem, short of marching herself down to the kitchens and raiding the school’s supplies.
A knock on her door prevented her from drawing up a plan to defeat Granny Smith’s security systems, but a pleased smile was quick to come when she turned and made eye contact with her visitor, and more specifically, what he was carrying. “Mister Bean, good morning! What are you doing here?”
“Good morning, ma’am. I was just trying to work up some new breakfast options, and I wanted to run a few ideas past you.”
Celestia sat in the Chair of Office, as her sister liked to call it, while Mister Bean placed a tray laden with a sumptuous breakfast for about six people before her. “What is all this?”
“Oh, this is just a simple meal idea I threw together,” Mister Bean said with a bashful grin. “I made buttermilk strawberry waffles with maple syrup, garlic breakfast potatoes with scrambled eggs and sausage, some freshly squeezed orange juice, and a traditional clafoutis. I think you’ll like the almond-esque taste that the cherries infuse into the dish, but it can be made with seasonal fruits too.”
The suddenly starving principal nodded, but then she rested her cheek in one hand. “Are you trying to add to my waistline while you add to the menu, Mister Bean?”
Mister Bean’s face went beet red in a heartbeat. “No, no! I was just… um, I mean, I think that… oh, wait, want I want to say is…”
“Yes?” Celestia asked with half-lidded eyes.
“Coffee!” Bean blurted. “I got you a coffee, too! I picked a bunch of sweets to act as a balance against your black coffee.”
The flustered dietician fumbled over the offering while Celestia giggled, but it only took a moment for him to provide her with a foam cup containing a simmering pool of ebon perfection.
“I’m pretty extra sure Dry Roast didn’t add that squirt of hazelnut like he usually does,” Mister Bean said as he handed the cup to his employer. “Java Le Choza was clogged with students, so I think he forgot it in the rush.”
Celestia tenderly sipped the brew with a deep grunt of approval, and for a brief moment, the entire world slipped into the background and waited for her to give the word to proceed. “You have no idea how much I needed this. Thank you, Mister Bean.”
“You’re welcome. I also got a triple venti half sweet no-fat caramel macchiato for Vice Principal Luna.” Mister Bean hesitated for a moment. “That is what she likes, right?”
“It is one of the options she prefers, though I do wonder if she is more interested in the coffee or the coffee maker with the way she shamelessly flirts. If Star doesn’t hurry, Luna may be tempted to leave him for an espresso.”
“I’ll just leave Luna’s cup with you. She will be in soon, right?”
“She should be. I need to review a few things with her before the Battle of the Bands.”
“Well, I’ll get out of your way, then. I’ve got an idea for a sweet potato gnocchi that I want to run by you for lunch.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
Mister Bean coughed, cleared his throat, and then stammered as he stumbled his way out of the main office and out into the hallway. Celestia simply chuckled slightly at his antics while she opened her lower drawer and retrieved her paperwork, but then she paused.
Bean the pony had managed to jab every sensitive and anguished part of her soul in thirty minutes or less, if what she could remember of last night was accurate. Bean the human, however, had just teased a tingle of delight out of her, and he hadn’t even been trying. There were no pretenses with him, no ulterior motives or subversive designs. What she saw is what she got, and that open honesty was refreshing and inviting. Mister Bean was the polar opposite of what Sombra had been, and that fact alone pleased her immensely.
Celestia snorted and grabbed a pen. She was letting her heart take over her better judgement, and she wasn’t going to make that mistake again. She refused to endure that pain for any reason.
But her gaze drifted to the exquisite meal Mister Bean had prepared. Her pen tapped the desk with an impatient beat as the haute cuisine tempted her with its delectable aroma.
The pen dropped, and Celestia pulled the tray closer with a small grin. It would be a shame if she let his offering go to waste.
* * 🥘 * *
Canterlot High’s library was an enormous vault, filled to the brim with books on every major subject one could think of, and most of the minor ones, with a few ‘eclectic’ outliers for variety. Prince Bean, after having been introduced to the cavernous repository of collective knowledge, had eagerly dived into the piles of books in an effort to help Princess Luna with the counterspell, and several large towers of tomes were quickly constructed as he moved among the shelves.
It quickly became apparent that youmuns did not consider magic to be a real thing. All of the books that referenced magic were in the fiction section, and from there, most were in the fantasy subdivision.
And while the tales themselves were entertaining enough, Prince Bean was too distracted to take proper notes on story themes and ideas. Once he was convinced he was not going to find anything helpful, he moved back to the table where Luna was working and plunked himself down on the opposite side.
“Bean, the content of these scrolls is not going to change, no matter how many times you look at them,” Luna chided around the pen in her mouth.
“I know, but I feel like dead weight here. I wish I knew more about magic.”
“Even if you did, this spell is complex and difficult. I doubt there are many experts who would understand this structure and form.”
“Huh.” Prince Bean thought for a moment, but then he smiled slightly. “So, do we run the risk of you becoming an alicorn again? You’re creating new magic, after all.”
Luna paused for a moment, then chuckled. “That would be amusing, but I doubt we need to worry. I am not creating new magic, per se. I am using magic that has already been established, just in a different way.”
“I have no idea how a double alicorn would work, even if you did make new magic.”
“Two sets of wings, perhaps?” Luna asked with an amused shake of her head. “Or a set on this form, but I would rather avoid that. Given how difficult it is to simply walk, I think would be best to keep my hooves on the ground.”
Luna went back to work after her remark, and Bean drew in a long breath while he glanced around. He hated that he was forced to just sit and wait, but what else could he do?
“Bean, could I trouble you for a glass of water?” Luna asked. “Writing like this is drying out my mouth.”
Prince Bean perked up instantly. “Sure! I’ll be right back.”
He was off like a shot, and he hummed a happy little nonsense tune while he made his way to the kitchen. Even though water was a simple enough task, it gave him something useful to do, and being useful always made him happy.
Once in the kitchen, though, he had to force himself to focus. It appeared that youmuns used the same style of stoves and ovens for their cooking, and he was curious how human dietary needs were met, and the steps involved with preparation of those foods.
“Maybe I should write a book about a chef,” Prince Bean muttered to himself with a grin while he searched for the glasses. “A chef who can’t cook, but who gets help to be successful. Like a hidden, tiny little chef maybe. It could hide under his toque, and tell the chef what to do by tugging on his mane. And then, this tiny little chef could help him find true love, but get jealous when the main chef doesn’t give him credit for the help.”
A nearby door suddenly popped open, and Prince Bean retreated a few steps while the youmun inside staggered out, his arms loaded up with several boxes of vegetables. The stagger suddenly turned into a stumble, and Prince Bean was only just able to dash over and grab the topmost box before it went crashing to the ground.
“Woah! Steady there,” Prince Bean said.
“Oh, thank you. I always try to grab too much in one load.”
Prince Bean then straightened, but he nearly failed to suppress the gasp of alarm when he saw who was carrying the vegetables.
“Big Mac? Is that you?”
Well, the very fabric of existence hadn’t spontaneously combusted, imploded, or been torn into confetti, so Prince Bean figured the worst was behind him. “No, I’m not Big Mac,” he said as he put the box down.
The ensuing scream of alarm sent both Beans scrambling backwards. Prince Bean’s head was introduced to several hanging pans before he hit the wall behind him, but the youmun Bean crashed into the countertop and sent the boxed vegetables flying.
“Who are you?!” the other Bean challenged. “What are you?! How did you get in here?!”
“Hold on, hold on!” Prince Bean held one hand up to indicate he meant peace, while the other one rubbed the back of his head. “I can explain everything, Bean.”
Mister Bean gave the Prince a fearful and confused look. “How do you know my name?”
“Well, the short answer is… I’m you. Or you’re me, if you prefer.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. You’re me, but I’m me, too. How can there be two me’s? It’s not scientifically possible. You’re one of those pod aliens, aren’t you? You’ve come to replace me!”
“I’m not a changeling!”
“That’s exactly what a pod alien would say.”
Prince Bean took in a deep breath. “Look, I get why you think that, but I’m not an alien. I am you.”
Mister Bean folded his arms tightly. “Okay. If you’re me, you would know who my first kiss was.”
“What? How in Equestria would I know that? I’m not an exact copy of you. I’m a you from a different dimension.”
“Right, and I’m a prancing pony prince.”
“No, that’s what I am.” Prince Bean blinked. “Except for the prancing part. I don’t prance. I can keep up with a slow waltz, maybe, but never prance.”
“Look, whoever you are, I’m calling the police,” Mister Bean said as he pulled out his phone.
“Wait, wait!” Prince Bean exclaimed with a furious wave of his hands. “Don’t call the police! I pinkie promise I am not—”
He hesitated as his eyes darted over the spilt produce. If there was a way to convince this version of himself that he meant no harm, it was going to be through food. “Hold on. You’re going to make a sweet potato gnocchi, right?”
Mister Bean glanced at the mess he had made, then back to Prince Bean with a wary leer. “Maybe.”
“Have you ever tried adding rapini to that?”
“Rapini?” Mister Bean shuddered. “That’s way too bitter.”
“No, not at all. It’ll act as a counterbalance to the sweet of the gnocchi. Plus, you get the texture of both broccoli and spinach, a sort of two-for-one deal. My parents would serve it all the time back home. I personally liked to fry the gnocchi in a garlic-sage-butter sauce.”
“Really? You’d have to watch the heat pretty close on that.”
Prince Bean smiled. If this Bean was anything like himself, their cooking methodology should, in theory, be nearly identical. “That’s pretty easy. I can show you, if you like. Let me help you get this mess cleaned up, and then we can go over it together.”
* * 🥘 * *
Prince Bean loved it when he was right.
“Wait, no. The prep time on those tomatoes is way longer,” Mister Bean said while he quickly pulled a frying pan off of the burner. “You’d need to start that before the apricots.”
“Ah, yeah. I never was good at multitasking, I have to admit.” Prince Bean said.
“Me neither,” Mister Bean said with a small chuckle. “I guess we’re horrible chefs no matter what dimension we’re in, eh?”
“It makes sense, given that I am you.”
“Gotta give you that,” Mister Bean said. “So, what’s it like being married to a Princess?”
Prince Bean shrugged. “It’s about what you’d expect, in a lot of ways. I live in a palace, I attend meetings, pass resolutions and budgets, annoy nobles, and when I find a spare moment I try to avoid whatever prank Princess Luna has set up for me.” He paused, then gasped. “Oh, feathers! I totally forgot to get her a glass of water!”
“Don’t worry,” Luna announced from the corner of the room. She walked over with a full glass, and she smirked as Prince Bean smiled bashfully. “I got it already.”
“Sorry.”
Luna chuckled and shook her head. “I figured something had pulled you away. I see you met your counterpart without destroying the fabric of existence?”
“That was a possibility?” Mister Bean asked.
“We were unsure of what would happen, should we meet our human alternates,” Luna said. “It would seem we are safe. I believe we shall avoid meeting Vice Principal Luna, but at least we know we can without causing a large-scale incident.”
“I suppose that’s a good thing.”
“We shall account it as such.”
Mister Bean took his turn to shake his head and chuckle while he tossed some avocados on the chopping block. “Magical ponies and brainwashing sirens. I need to write all of this down; it’s going to make for a rather remarkable story.”
“I agree,” Prince Bean said with a nod. “May I ask you a personal question?”
“Shoot.”
“How do you feel about Principal Celestia?”
Mister Bean blushed a bit, and the avocado was quickly reduced to tidbits. “Oh, she’s pretty nice. Very supportive, too. I feel like she really wants me to succeed here, and that she’s doing everything she can to help me out.”
“That’s nice, but how do you really feel?”
The blush deepened, and Mister Bean stammered for a moment. “Oh, I suppose she’s pretty, and I really like how attentive she is when I talk to her. She’s funny, too; and I hadn’t really expected that. She likes to play little jokes on the staff, says she’s trying to get them to lighten up. Nothing serious, of course. But I don’t think we’ll ever be anything more than friends.”
“Why’s that?” Prince Bean gently asked.
“You don’t work here for very long without hearing about Chrysalis stealing her fiancé,” Mister Bean said while he stared at the mangled mess he’d made. “I’m pretty extra sure she doesn’t want to be in a relationship, and I don’t blame her. Besides, even if I did want to try to start something, there’s rules against dating staff members, and…”
Prince Bean waited for the other Bean to finish his sentence. “And what?”
“Well, she’s older than me.”
Both Prince Bean and Luna burst into laughter.
“It’s not funny! I don’t know how it works in your world, but there’s some serious taboos against that here!”
“Oh, I’m sure there are,” Prince Bean said after taking a moment to compose himself somewhat. “How much older is she?”
“I’m not sure exactly. I think seven to eight years.”
“Ah, yes. That is a bit of a gap,” Prince Bean replied. “But since my wife is twelve hundred years older than me, you have to forgive me for failing to appreciate your dilemma.”
“Good gravy, how long do you ponies live?!”
“To be fair, it is only alicorns who live so long,” Luna added. “But biologically, my sister and I are approximately the same age as the good Prince here. It would be quite difficult for Princess Celestia to be pregnant otherwise.”
“Twelve hundred years,” Mister Bean muttered. “So, she’s going to outlive you for sure, isn’t she?”
“She will, but we both agree that it’ll be worth it,” Prince Bean said. “I actually find that fact to be quite comforting. I know I’ll never be without her.”
Mister Bean shook his head. “What would that be like?”
“You could find out for yourself.”
“My parents would never accept her.” Mister Bean’s gaze went to a place far removed from the kitchen he was in. “They think I’m running away from my true destiny, and they would claim she is part of my ploy. I can only imagine what wild theories they would come up with.”
“But would that matter, in the end?” Prince Bean asked.
“I suppose not,” Mister Bean said after a long and thoughtful pause.
“True love never just happens,” Prince Bean said with a knowing smirk. “Not even when there’s a law that forces it. It takes time, effort, and dedication on the part of both parties.
“But in my experience, it’s worth it. I know there are many who would disagree with me, and they have very valid reasons for such, but I believe that the best in life cannot be found by yourself. Even if Princess Celestia and I had everything taken away from us, I would consider myself handsomely rewarded with just her love. Pretty much everything I have done—and anything I may yet do—will be because I love her, more than I could ever possibly love anything else. I think you could be happy with your Celestia too, despite the obstacles that are in the way. Love is a wonderful institution; I highly recommend it.”
“Yeah, but who wants to live in an institution?”
“Princess Luna,” Principal Celestia’s voice drifted in over the public address system. “The Rainbooms are waiting for you in the band room.”
“I guess my counterpart is not here yet,” Luna remarked. “But we should leave. It would be quite awkward to explain why there are two Beans to the soon-to-be-arriving students.”
“Maybe we can chat more later?” Prince Bean asked his human self. “I have a killer recipe for sorbet, if you’re interested.”
There was a short pause while Mister Bean thought this over, but then he smiled. “I’ve been looking for a good sorbet to share with Celestia.”
* * 🥘 * *
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This chapter was du.
We need more fun
9514094
Well, it is Luna who is crafting the counterspell, so...
O the fun times are really starting to roll now.
Ratatoullie reference! Love it!
You know, I think Principal Celestia should consider following Prince Bean's advice, it would greatly benefit her.
Also I'm relieved that the two Beans meeting each other didn't end with disaster.
9514139
Was that a Gen: Lock reference?
Also since the Beans just found each other I think this is the perfect spot for this meme
i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/023/397/C-658VsXoAo3ovC.jpg
Not imploding the multiverse is always a good thing.
9514624
I'm all for it, personally.
My exact reaction had the multiverse actually imploded.
Ratatouille? Really
I like Bean's lesson there to his counterpart.
Eh... I’d say a relatively meh story, but everyone’s got their tastes.
Calling a tortilla a "shell" is some horrific Yankee abomination of language and I will not stand for it.
9515832
I agree with you about the Yankee abomination part, but that thing you get from any fast food place is not a true tortilla, you gotta admit. It is the empty, hollow remains of what once was one.
But! Since you are right, I will fix. :)
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Mister Bean would have better luck with writing about a princess who had to marry a commoner because of a silly, ancient law I'd bet.
9516147
Indeed.
(I love meta-humor.)
Ohhhh this was a mistake to read on an empty stomach, I would seriously consider dating a guy who cooked like either Bean and I'm straight
But seriously, the Dazzlings haven't even made an appearance yet and I am loving this story with every chapter. My only nitpick is a bit of dissapointment that the two Beans didn't recreate the dialogue from Samurai Jack where he met an evil mirror version of himself. Ah well, onward!
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Well, that couldn't happen because I haven't watched Samurai Jack in a long, long time. *hangs head in shame*
I shall have to go make penance for my sin by binge watching the entire series, somehow. Onward! :)
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Does sound a bit like cammie doesn't it (particularly if you say it with a Scott like accent)
So Tia hasn't yet taken Bean's advice fully to heart. But there's still hope, and Mister Bean got pepped enough that he might even consider trying! A solid win all around.
We saw that, Discord! The director's cut will most definitely include your little fumble!
Am I the only one that caught the Ratatouille reference?
I always did think Tia was way cuter. And more natural sounding a nickname to be honest. Celly sounds like something Discord or Pinkie would invent.
Prince Bean: *laughs in immortal alicorn princess*
9720767
And I really don't know why I picked Celly for a nickname. Ah well.
Dude. This quote is awesome.
if you think about it, you can come to the conclusion that ponies passing into the human world cannot use magic just because they are used to manipulating energy through the horn, but in the human world they do not have it (there is no usual mental mechanism). however, in other fantastic works, people use either some kind of artifact (amulet, staff, magic wand) as a mental manipulator, or by making certain gestures with their hands (bending certain fingers or making a click). In some stories, the caster also performs magic by reading (or talking) hearing. perhaps people from Equestria could also still use magic in the human world with one of the proposed options. (Discord apparently does not concern, since he is already used to performing his manipulations through the snap of his fingers)
9691132
no
Kinda expected Dr. Who to make a apperance
Bwahahah there should be a short story of discord from the EG world living like that
That should be roguish.
Love trough supreme food. I find it legit!
I thought it was funny.
11294219
You cannot discount the other possibility. He had an orange coat, after all.