Chapter 1 - Arrival

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I don’t really remember much about any of it. I don’t remember where I was, what I was doing, I’m not even sure if I was awake at the time. Did it hurt? Was it a fun ride? Did I scream like a girl? I guess I’ll never know, not that it really matters. What I do remember though, is waking up with a pounding head, vision quality on par with 1950’s TV, and all the balance and grace of a man who’s had one too many pints of Guinness.

I lay where I was for a good couple of minutes. I felt tired, and my limbs were heavy; getting up and about didn’t exactly seem like a fun proposition. Even my eyelids felt heavy, and keeping them open took a conscious effort.

But as the minutes ticked by, this fatigue slowly left me, and I began to come to my senses. I was still out of it though, as I looked around and tried to determine where the heck I was. That was when I first began to worry. I wasn’t it my own bed. I’m not the kind of guy who wakes up in a stranger’s garden after a night of partying; I’ve never really been drunk, so waking up in a small forest clearing set off a few alarm bells. How would I get home? Did I have any money? What was Mum going to say when I got back?

More to the point, where was I? There was nothing around me that I recognised, at least, not at first. All around were just dark foreboding trees as far as the eye could see. There wasn’t even that much light, since the intertwined leaves created a canopy that let only a few slivers of light in.

Eventually, after much deliberation, and mental panicking, I decided that my best bet was to try and find out just where in God’s name I was. This forest had to end somewhere. There might be a path, some sign, or anything that pointed which direction civilisation was. I did my best to hold onto the positives, not a very well-practiced skill if I’m honest.

With a conscious effort, and a few pained sounds, I got back on my feet and stood up.

Only to unceremoniously fall back down with a thud that knocked the wind out of me. I winced at the pain of the landing, my body was still sore all over, as if it had been overly exerted.

Since standing up appeared to be out of the question for the moment, I decided to try propping myself up on all fours and sit upright for a few minutes, until my legs decided that they wanted to return to their usual pastime of supporting my weight.

But that too proved to be something of a challenge. Pushing myself up off the floor, I tried to push backwards and bend my knees. Only, they wouldn’t bend. A moment’s experimentation found that instead, they seemed inclined to bend inward. For a few horrible moments I thought that I’d inadvertently broken my legs somehow, and that the pain I was feeling was simply what the endorphins weren’t taking away. A quick visual check though, showed that my fears were unfounded.

However, they did raise a couple of more pertinent questions.

This was not my body.

My body was thin, scrawny, pale, and most importantly bipedal. The one I seemed to be attached to now, was covered in fine grey hide, and in the place of hands and feet, I found that my limbs ended in equally grey hooves. I was a quadruped.

Turning my head to look at myself, my panic and fear growing by the second, I found that I was indeed no longer in possession of a poor example of the species homo sapiens sapiens. Instead, I appeared to be horse like. I had hooves, a fine haired coat, a dark blue tail, and…

Wait, what was that?!

Right there, on my hind quarters, my…er…flank, was an image. On both there was an image of two crossed swords; one silver, and one gold.

That was a cutie mark. Those only appeared on ponies, Equestrian ponies. As in fictional little cartoon horses from a TV show I watched; My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. My eyes went wide.

“Okay…that’s interesting,” I muttered to myself, fear undoubtedly evident in my voice. Blinking a few times in an effort to dispel what I was seeing had no effect. I think I may have screamed after that. But let’s not dwell on that just now.

After a few moments of more panicking, during which I somehow ended up on my back, I decided that I needed to get a better view of whatever had happened to me. A short distance away from me was a small puddle of still water. It would probably give me at least a vague reflection of what I looked like now, although a part of me didn’t want to know and was busy clicking it’s shoes together screaming ‘there’s no place like home’.

This brought me back to walking. Given that I was fairly certain that I was a pony, I understood why my previous attempt at walking had gone so badly. This body wasn’t designed for it. I would need to stand on four legs, not two. In effect, I would need to almost learn how to walk again.

With another effort, although I was rapidly regaining my lost strength by this point, I pushed myself up. It felt a little strange, almost like crawling, except I felt as though I was standing upright at the same time. It was a little difficult, but eventually, I managed to get to my feet and stand fairly steady. Next up was walking.

Again, the idea of crawling helped me there. It was still difficult, and I more or less hobbled rather than actually walked, tripping every now and then like toddler and only just managing to stay upright. After a few failed attempts I managed to find the right pattern for moving each individual leg so that I didn’t trip up. Eventually, I made it to the small pool and got my first real look at myself.

My suspicion was indeed correct, I was a pony. And, much to my surprise and partial delight, I was a unicorn. From my forehead, poking out between my somewhat matted dark blue mane, was grey spiraled horn, about four or five inches long, that ended in a dull point. I wondered if I could use magic, but after straining for a moment (and not really having the faintest idea what I was doing) I gave up on that.

Along with the horn, I had two very large, dark brown eyes, not too dissimilar to the ones I’d had as a human. It felt strange to think about that. I quickly saw that I no longer had my glasses, yet my eyesight seemed perfectly fine. That was a plus; what followed would certainly been a lot trickier if all I could see was a blur.

I also now sported a muzzle, a fairly square thing that gave me a reassuringly masculine appearance. Despite the mess my mane was in, I seemed to be clean shaven. And speaking of my mane, poking up from either side of my head were a pair of bluntly pointed grey ears, which after a few moments of testing, I found I could move easily.

Aside from that, I looked like your standard run of the mill pony. My body looked fairly average in build and size, I had a cutie mark, a horn. All in all, I was a perfectly normal unicorn.

But the face was also familiar to me. As I looked into the pool, I turned my head so that I could see each side from a few different angles. I knew this pony that was now my reflection. I’d come up with the grey coat, the somewhat messy dark blue mane, and the crossed swords cutie mark. This pony was of my own creation, he was a character I’d come up with ages ago. I’d called him Blade Star. Daft name I know, but that’s what happens when you rely on one of those pony name generators. There was no doubt about it, I was my own OC. I actually found that prospect quite exciting, when I managed to stop panicking.

Before long though, I was brought back to the issue at hand (or should that be hoof now?). Where was I? I began to think again. This place seemed vaguely familiar at first, but my discovery of my new body offered a very interesting idea.

A deep, dark, foreboding forest. No. This couldn’t be the Everfree, could it?

No, of course it couldn’t. The Everfree Forest wasn’t real now, was it? But then again, nor were unicorns, and yet here I was. I wasn’t high or whacked out of my mind, and a quick snap at my fetlock with my new teeth confirmed that I wasn’t dreaming. Could this really be Equestria?

My sudden hypothesis was interrupted by the sound of two voices not too far away, somewhere through the trees.

“Oh, good God, what the hell happened?” one male voice asked, sounding as fatigued as I felt. It was quickly joined by another female voice.

“Where on earth are we anyway? How did we get out here?”

A feeling of gladness swelled in my heart as I recognised the voices of my parents; Roger and Margaret. Or Mum and Dad as I call usually them. Quickly picking out where the voices came from (score one for improved pony hearing) I called out to them.

“Mum, Dad, is that you?” I shouted out. I heard the sound of leaves rustling as someone moved suddenly, as if startled. A moment later, I heard my father call out my name in confusion.

“Is that you?” he added. I smiled in relief. Everything would be alright now; I wasn’t alone in my predicament.

“Yeah, it’s me!” I replied. “I think I’m about one clearing over from you guys. Are you okay?” I expected that any moment they’d start panicking. I tried to think of a way to explain to them that they were now ponies. Their response though, surprised me.

“We’ve both fine,” my Dad replied. “We’re both feeling a bit knocked about, but we’re okay. How about you?” They hadn’t changed? Oh boy. This might take some explaining. I did my best to broach the subject carefully. How do you tell your parents you’ve suddenly become a pony, I was still coming to terms with it myself.

“I’m okay,” I began. “Have you two noticed any weird changes or anything?”

“Changes?” my Dad asked, sounding befuddled. “What kind of changes?”

“Well…er,” I replied awkwardly. “I may have changed species. I think I’m a pony now.” I heard my Dad bark out a short laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he answered good naturedly. “Come on, son. This is no time for jokes. Stay where you are and we’ll come and find you.”

Well, that’s torn it, I thought to myself. They were in for one hell of a shock in a minute. Or I was; there was that small part of my mind that insisted that what I was seeing was impossible. I stood where I was at the pool, pretty much stock still and waited for my parents to arrive.

They didn’t take long, and I soon spotted the silhouette of my Dad pushing his way through the brush and branches, with my Mum following behind in his wake. A few moments later, they emerged into the clearing.

My Dad was a fairly tall man, around 5’10 (I was previously around 5’8 or so), with a fairly slim build. His hair, which was starting to thin here and there, was a deep silver, though most people tended to find their attention drawn to his unusual monobrow, a feature I thankfully avoided inheriting. He was dressed in his usual plain light blue shirt, with a dark blue jumper over it. He had his reading glasses on as well, though he didn’t tend to wear them except when he was reading or driving.

Behind him was my Mum. She was a very petite woman, barely 5’0 in height and somewhat heavy set, though a far cry from being fat (she’d argue that two kids tend to be murder on your figure). Her hair, which was dyed blonde, was cut fairly short, stopping just at her neck. Her features were round and kind, with fewer wrinkles than my father, and certainly fewer than other women who were closer to sixty than they were to fifty. They were both getting on in years now, both in their late fifties. She was wearing a light coloured blouse and jeans, the sort of thing she usually wore around the house.

Dad had a relaxed smile on his face, like me, glad of someone else in the same mess. His smile vanished when his eyes settled on me though. Looking around in confusion, he called out my name again.

“Are you out here?” he asked. Bracing myself for the inevitable, I walked, which I was now a little better at, over him, waving a foreleg half-heartedly.

“Hi, Dad,” I said, somewhat awkwardly.

You could hear a pin drop.

My Dad stared at me in complete and utter bewilderment. You could see his mind trying to work out what he was seeing. A moment later, after the two of us had stared at each other awkwardly for a bit, my Mum offered her two pence into the conversation. Her contribution consisted mainly of screaming like a banshee and tripping over herself in an attempt to get away. My Dad too backed off and moved to protect his wife. I found myself backpedalling, and possibly screaming myself, but tried to calm things down.

“Woah, woah, woah, calm down, Mum!” I called out, in an effort to try and calm her. “It’s okay, it’s okay! I’m not going to hurt you! It’s me; your son!” This had no effect though, and it was only due to her need for oxygen that she paused in her screeching. My Dad had quickly wrapped his arms round her in a protective hug, placing himself between me and her.

“Who the hell are you?!” he demanded angrily. I sat down on my rear and did my best to explain.

“It’s me, Dad,” I replied fretfully. “It’s your son. I just…look a little different, that’s all.”

“A little different?!” my Mum parroted. “You’re a miniature talking horse for goodness sake. You’re not my son!” I won’t lie, that hurt.

“I am, Mum. I promise, it’s me!” I implored. Still looking wild with fright, my Dad tried to disprove my statement.

“Okay then, when were you born?” he asked.

“January 10^th1994,” I replied. “Same as my little sister, Lizzie. Only, she was born two years and six hours later.” Surely such exact knowledge would convince them both of my bona fides.

The same thought seemed to strike all three of us at once. There were four of us in our little family; me, Mum, Dad, and Lizzie. I was here, despite my parents thinking I was…actually, I’m not sure what they thought, they were both here; so where was Lizzie? Logically, whatever had brought us here must have done the same for Lizzie. We’d all arrived in separate places in the forest, so it was possible that she was out there somewhere.

Standing stock still, and with a dark look on his face, my Dad pointed a shaking finger at me. His breathing suddenly became more ragged, and sweat began to appear on his face.

“Where’s my daughter?” he asked darkly, his eyes wild. I tried to reply that I didn’t know where Lizzie was, or if she’d even ended up here, but he cut me off.

“I said where’s my daughter, you son of a bitch!” This time, he shouted. He was panicking. Whereas Mum and I just panic and pither when we’re worried, my Dad tends to try to fight his way out when he’s cornered.

“Look, I don’t know!” I shot back in fear. “I don’t know. But we weren’t too far from each other, so she must be somewhere nearby too. If we all stick together, we can start looking for her. And, if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather get out of here sooner rather than later.” My Dad snorted.

“Oh, sure,” he replied sneeringly. “Let’s all just follow the weird horse thing that’s pretending to be my son. It’s not like it’s going to lead us anywhere dangerous!” I tilted my head in a dog like fashion before regaining myself and snorting in a very horse like manner.

“I keep telling you, I am your son!” I exclaimed. “And even if I wasn’t, why would I want to hurt either of you? Ponies are herbivores for goodness sake!” My Dad though, remained resolute.

“No, there’s no way my wife and I are going traipsing through wherever the hell this is with a talking horse thing that may want to eat us anyway.” I’d had enough.

“For the last time!” I yelled, snarling angrily. “I’m your goddamn son. Will you get that through your thick skull, Dad?!”

All of a sudden, my angry tirade was cut off by my Mum crying out in fright. Suddenly, and without apparent movement, my Dad was much closer, and eye level with me. Even more surprising, He was surrounded by a strange dark blue glow. Faintly, I could hear a tinkling sound, like wind chimes.

It took me a moment to realise what had happened. I’d used magic. As in real life, honest to God, no sleight of hand card tricks here, magic. Somehow in my anger, I’d managed to cast a levitation spell, as the show termed it, and was now holding my Dad prone about four feet or so off the ground. He’d gone white as a sheet.

Shocked at my newfound abilities, I inadvertently broke my concentration, or whatever it was that had let me cast magic in the first place. A moment later, my first ever spell fizzled out, and my Dad dropped to the ground. He quickly picked himself up and backed off. I did my best to use my accidental display to my advantage.

“Now look,” I began. “If I really wanted to hurt either of you, don’t you think I would have done it already? I know it sounds crazy, but I swear, I’m your son.”

At this, my Mum, who’d not really been too involved in proceedings beyond screaming in fright, edged forward. Tentatively making her way towards me, and going around her still stunned husband, she kneeled down to be eye level and within arm’s reach of me. Slowly, she reached out with a hand to touch my face. As it drew near, I let out an involuntary whiney like noise, which caused to hesitate for a second. A moment later though, she pressed on, and laid her open hand on the side of my face. Her eyes met mine and we stared at each other for what felt like a long time.

Eventually though, she smiled. And leaning forward, she embraced me in a tight hug. I found my head resting on her shoulder and vice versa. I wanted to breathe a sigh of relief.

“You’re my son,” she said quietly, as she held onto my, as if her life depended on it. “I don’t know what's happened to you, or where we are, but I know who you are; you’re my boy.” A moment later she released me.

“What makes you so sure?” I asked, stupidly tempting fate by playing devil’s advocate for a moment. She smiled softly, and shrugged her shoulders.

“A mother always knows her kids,” she replied. She turned to my Dad, daring him to object. But he had the good sense to keep quiet and not cross her.

Moving around a little, my Mum settled herself to sit Indian style across from me, and motioned for my Dad to do the same. I now had a moment to work out my size, relative to my parents. I reckoned that I was a somewhere around four and a half feet tall on all four hooves. One little mystery cleared up.

As the three of us sat down together, with Dad still a little distrustful, but far less hostile towards me, my Mum took over the conversation.

“So you do you have any idea what’s happened to us?” she asked. I shook my head.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” I replied. “I woke up here about ten, maybe fifteen minutes ago. I feel like I’ve been chewed up and spat out. When I finally came to, I realised that I was like this.” My Mum gestured to my new form.

“So what are you anyway, some sort of unicorn?”

“Sort of,” I answered. “I’m a unicorn pony. See the cutie mark.” As I turned to show off the strange mark on my rear, I heard Dad try and fail to hold back a laugh, which came out as an odd snort. I sat back down again.

“I know this sounds crazy, Mum. But I think we might be in Equestria.” I said.

“Where?” my Dad exclaimed. “Wait, wait, wait. You mean the place off that kids pony cartoon you watch on your laptop?” I nodded.

“It makes sense,” I replied. “I look just like a character from the show. And this place.” I gestured to our surroundings. “Sure looks a lot like the Everfree Forest; somewhere we don’t want to be.”

“What is it?” my Mum asked curiously, evidently the more open of the two. I briefly explained how it was seen as an unnatural place in the show, and full of some rather nasty creatures. And since I had no desire to be scoffed by timberwolves, turned to stone by a cockatrice, or whatever the heck a cragadile does to its victims, I suggested we try and get out, post haste.

“What about Lizzie though?” Dad asked in concern. “You haven’t told us where she is.” I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

“I don’t know where she is,” I replied. “She may not even be here for all I know. But if you want, we can try to search for her. As long as we’re careful, we should be alright.” I turned to look at the sun through the trees.

“Right, assuming that it’s mid-afternoon, that’s west,” I said, pointing toward the sun that was still fairly high in the sky. Dad nodded in agreement. “If I remember right, Ponyville should be to the north from here. We should try heading in that direction for now, and look for Lizzie as we go.”

“And what then?” Dad asked “Go to some pony village, are you crazy?” I shrugged my shoulders.

Assuming I was right, our best bet would be to find a certain purple alicorn, which made my inner fan jump around in excitement, with Mum and Dad around my fear was beginning to evaporate, and from there either try and get her to help us get home, or go to the princesses in Canterlot. A bit of a far-fetched, yes, but it was better than nothing. We certainly didn’t want to stay here. Luckily, Mum stepped in again.

“You heard what he said, Roger,” she countered. “I don’t fancy running into any of those beasties, thank you very much. I’ll take my chances with the magical ponies. We need to find Lizzie.” She got to her feet. “Lead the way, son.”

And so, with some trepidation, the three of us set off. We left the comparative safety of our little clearing and headed roughly north. We were soon on a small path, but I had little idea of where we were actually going. I’d seen bits of this place about a dozen times. It wasn’t as if I knew it like the back of my hand (or hoof) though. I wasn’t even sure we were heading the right way. More to the point, I had no idea how we were supposed to find Lizzie, if she was even out here. Surely she would have heard us by now and found us; Mum and Dad had found me in mere minutes after all. But we were hesitant to call out for her, lest we attract unwanted attention from the creatures that called this forest home. After all, somewhere in here there was a bloody ursa major.

So we pressed on, hoping that we’d eventually find something that would tell us where we are. I was half hoping that we’d come across Zecora’s little hut. Aside from being friendly with Twilight, she would most likely have the best reaction to us, having experienced the somewhat flighty nature of ponies first hoof.

But in the end, we didn’t find ourselves at Zecora’s hut, but somewhere much larger and, once upon a time, a lot more opulent. As we pressed on through the brush, we suddenly found ourselves in a large open space. And out there in front of us, much to my delight, was a great castle.

“Well, I’d say we’re definitely in Equestria,” I declared, smiling more than I had in a good long time. We’d only run straight into the bloody castle!

“What is it?” my Mum asked. I turned to her, slipping into something of a lecture mode. Combined with my building excitement, it overran my fear and I began to act almost as if nothing was wrong.

“This is the old castle; the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters,” I replied gleefully. “Before the show, this is where the two princesses lived. It’s where Celestia fought and defeated Nightmare Moon, and where the Elements of Harmony were used to turn her back into Princess Luna. And if I’m not mistaken, the Tree of Harmony should be just down those steps.”

By now overcome with fan based excitement, I set off at a near gallop (the previous walk had allowed me to fine tune my motor skills) and headed down the steps. If anything else, it would confirm not only where we were, if there was still any doubt, but also when we were in the timeline.

Almost slipping a few times on the crumbling stone staircase, I eventually found myself at the bottom, in what I imagine would have once been the castle’s moat. And it was there, nestled away in a little indent in the otherwise sheer rock face, that I first laid eyes on the Tree of Harmony.

There was no doubt about it then, we were definitely in Equestria. My mind was too preoccupied with that one fact to contemplate much else. I sat down and just stared at the great tree, with my parents joining me a moment later. It really was amazing. The tree seemed to give off a light all of its own, and held in its branches were its ‘fruit’; the elements themselves. That meant we were in the ‘present’ so to speak. For a few moments, I’d been thinking about what I’d do if we had been somewhere in the past. Maybe I’d have had a chance to interfere with important events, like stopping the changeling attack on Canterlot.

But no, we were clearly in the present. In addition to the elements, nearby I could see the strange hexagonal box that the tree had spawned, still locked tight. My parents looked on curiously as I bustled about, chattering about every little thing in excitement. Finally, my Dad grew impatient.

“Er, son, I don’t mean to be impatient or anything,” he said. “But do you think we could get back to finding your sister, or maybe getting out of here?” I perked up my ears, a nice new ability.

Turning back to them both, I realised that I’d lost sight of more important issues. My worry returned with a vengeance, for Lizzie as well as myself. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

“Yeah, er, sorry, Dad,” I replied bashfully. “I kinda got a little overexcited. But I know where we are now for sure, so I think I can find us a way out.”

That was true. While I didn’t know the Everfree Forest, I did have a decent understanding of the route Twilight and her friends had taken when they journeyed here to face Nightmare Moon. To reach Ponyville now, all we needed to do work backwards through each encounter. We just needed to follow landmarks, like the ravine where Rainbow Dash met the Shadowbolts, or the river where they all encountered the sea serpent.

Turning around, the three of us walked back up the stone stairs and began to head away from the castle. I settled on the front and headed directly away from it. Hopefully, that would take us to Ponyville.

My plan didn’t exactly work out to start with. We weren’t hitting any of the landmarks after almost half an hour of walking. With so little sunlight, for all I knew we were walking in circles. If we could just find some landmark it would be a start. We were still no closer to finding Lizzie either. Every clearing we came to, we hoped that we’d find her, in whatever form, unharmed. But try as we might, we could find no trace of her.

I was getting quite worried at this point. So far, my jaunt into Equestria had caused a fight with my parents, potentially put my sister in danger, and completely cut us off from our home. It was hardly the semi-utopia I thought it to be. Mum and Dad were getting restless too, with Dad prodding that maybe he should take over as guide, or that we ought to change direction, possibly even try to set up camp for the night, for it was now late in the afternoon.

Things had almost come to a head when the proverbial clouds finally parted. We finally reached the ravine. The rope bridge was still there and looked to be fairly solid, so we would hopefully be able to cross it. But that was the least of my concerns. At that moment, we could have been stuck in this forest forever for all I cared.

My attention instead, along with that of my parents, was focussed on a teenage girl sitting not too far from the ravine, near some wild flowers. It was Lizzie!

My little sister, though she would now undoubtedly tower over me in my new form, was exactly two years younger than myself. She even had the cheek to turn up right at the end of my second birthday party. Though I admit, it does make remembering birthdays easier. She had a soft, friendly face, like her mother’s, though her face was less rounded. She was a brunette, with her hair extending down past her shoulders. She was dressed in attire more suited to our situation, wearing a ratty old hoody that she’d gotten from me, along with a pair of plain trousers that were presently somewhat stained with mud.

She was, as I said, sitting on her knees, near a patch of blue wild flowers. She hadn’t yet noticed our presence and was leaning forward to pick one of them.

It took me a moment, but I was sure from the first that there was something familiar about those flowers. A moment later, it came to me; Poison Joke! Okay, it wouldn’t hurt her, but I’d rather not see what it did to her regardless.

Before my parents could say or do anything, I set off at my first ever full blown gallop, tearing the ground up as I tried to pick up speed. Running up to Lizzie, I all but launched myself at her and, barreling into her side, knocked her sideways, away from the troublesome flora. The two of us came to rest with me almost on top of her, inadvertently pinning her down.

“Lizzie!” I exclaimed in a warning tone. “You mustn’t touch those blue flowers; they’re poisonous!”

My little sister was, understandably startled, and laid still, staring up at me. After all, a weird miniature horse had pretty much just ploughed into her, knocked her over and, in her brother’s voice no less, told her not to go picking flowers. You could forgive her for being just a tiny bit thrown.

Luckily, we were joined by our parents a moment later, who both quickly grabbed her and held her in a hug. Lizzie remained quiet but returned their hug nonetheless, she certainly seemed glad for the familiar faces. As succinctly as my Mum could, she explained the situation, in particular, who I was and where we were. Lizzie didn’t react too much; she acted more like a startled rabbit than anything else.

That got the three of us worried. As much as I hate to say it, Lizzie was the most…normal, in our family. She usually tended to cope with things pretty well compared to me or our parents. So seeing her pretty much shut down caused a lot of concern. She did show some positives though. At one point when we were all sitting resting by the ravine, she walked over and hugged me, wrapping her arms around me and holding onto me tightly, just like she used to when we were little.

So at last, we were all together. We were in Equestria, somewhat lost deep in the potentially dangerous Everfree Forest, and one of us had randomly been turned into a character of his own creation. But at least we weren’t facing it alone; we were facing it as a family.

Chapter 2 - A Trek

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Now that we were all together at last, we only had one real goal to think about; getting out of this forest and finding someone, or rather somepony, to help us. Since I knew a fair bit about this world, I found myself nominated to again act as a sort of ad-hoc guide. After all, my parents knew little about the Everfree, and Lizzie had almost accidentally come into contact with Poison Joke. And God only knows what it might have done to her. I was hardly the most qualified person, but I think I was the least worst candidate for the job.

So I took the lead, with Lizzie and Mum following, and Dad bringing up the rear.

Our first step was to get across the extremely unstable looking rope bridge that lay before us. It crossed an extremely deep ravine. With so little light, I couldn’t even see the bottom of what seemed to be an endless void. But we needed to get across it. My small amount of knowledge told me that this was where the Mane Six had crossed way back when. Given everything that had happened so far today, my knowledge of the lore of MLP wasn’t exactly at the forefront of my mind. But I did remember that Rainbow Dash had retied the bridge back to its posts after refusing to work for the spectral Shadowbolts. Hopefully her knot tying skills would hold out.

“I think we ought to test it first,” Dad prompted as we all stood on the edge of the abyss. “It doesn’t look exactly solid, does it?”

I was about to turn back to him and reply in agreement, when I realised everyone else was looking at me.

I was the smallest of our group.

And the lightest.

I was to be the one that ‘tested’ the bridge.

Bugger.

My heart began to beat faster as I stepped onto the first, somewhat rotted, plank. The structure creaked from the pressure, and a few gusts of wind caused it to sway slightly.

I’ve never particularly much cared for heights. Heights, bugs, and teeth; those are the three things that make me uncomfortable. And not even being able to see how far the undoubtedly deadly drop was just made things worse.

Still, we needed to get across here at some point. I tried to reassure myself that the bridge had easily withstood the combined weight of six ponies quite easily. But as I brought my back hooves on, the wooden planks creaked again in protest. I decided to tread carefully. I eased my way forward, picking my steps carefully, and tentatively checking each plank as I went. Some easily took my weight without trouble, while others creaked and groaned ominously, causing me to skip over them to the next one. Behind me, my parents and Lizzie watched my steady progress with concern.

Eventually, after what had to have been one of the longest minutes of my life, I made it to the other side of the ravine. The bridge, while it had protested at times, and continued to sway in the breeze, had held firm under me, not even splintering. Turning around, I could just make out the other members of my family on the other side, though the fog that hung around the ravine partly obscured them.

It’s okay! I’m across!” I called out, cupping my mouth with one hoof to magnify the sound. “It creaks a bit, but it seems safe. Just come across one at a time to be safe, and watch your step!” I saw the three of them briefly consult with each other for a minute. Dad then yelled back across the gap.

“Alright! Your sister’s going to come across next!” he shouted back, the fog slightly muffling his voice. “When she’s across, I’ll send your mother, and then I’ll come last!”

“Fine! I’ll wait here for you and keep an eye on things on this side!” I answered.

With everything agreed, Lizzie began her own journey across the rope bridge. She still seemed fairly shook up, for she took a minute or so to get started. A part of me felt impatient with her; it was already mid-afternoon, if we didn’t get a move on, we’d be in here come nightfall. That was when all the nastier creatures came out to play.

Before long though, she started. Having watched me all the way, she chose her path carefully. The bridge again held firm, though it did continue to sway in the wind. I was a little concerned that, being bipedal, and consequently putting more weight on each foot, the bridge might be less stable. But luck seemed to be on her side, for she soon reached me and stepped back onto solid ground. I trotted over to her.

“Hey, you okay, Lizzie?” I asked as she walked up. Again though, she didn’t speak, only nodding in assent. I then called out that she was safely across. Next, it was Mum’s turn.

Like me, at times, Mum can be a bit panicky. But whereas I was currently switching between excitement and fear, she had been pretty scared this whole time. After all, we were seemingly stuck, further from home than most would have thought possible, with nothing but the shirts on our backs (though I didn’t even have that!), in a forest possibly filled with dangerous creatures.

She doesn’t much care for heights either. And unlike Lizzie and me, she was keener to get over the bridge as quickly as possible, rather than go carefully. I gritted my teeth as she scampered across like a deer, causing the bridge to groan in protest. Her heavier footfalls were also making it rock more, as well as putting extra weight on it.

“Mum, slow down; take it easy!” I called out. I really wasn’t liking the sounds the bridge was making at this point. Unfortunately, perhaps a moment after my shouted warning, the inevitable happened.

With a sudden splintering of wood, one of the planks gave way as she stepped on it. Her foot went through the gap and she tripped up, landing heavily on her front. Understandably frightened, she screamed. This brought both myself and my Dad, running from opposite directions to her aid. We were both worried that the bridge, now structurally compromised, might start coming down.

Since she was close to the mid-point, we both reached her at around the same time. She’d gotten back onto her knees, but the shock of it all had caused her to freeze up. And despite Dad and me both encouraging her, she wouldn’t or couldn’t move. The bridge continued to splinter and parts of the rope that held it all together were now starting to fray. I found myself now wishing that I was a pegasus. But since I couldn’t use magic as a unicorn, I doubted that I’d have been able to fly just by virtue of species.

Eventually, unwilling to wait any longer, Dad placed his hands under her armpits, and hauled her up onto her feet. I was actually surprised he was able to do this. Given that, from his position behind her on the bridge, he didn’t have that much leverage. Plus, he wasn’t all that strong to begin with. Still, he managed to get her up, and with me leading, we ran across to re-join Lizzie.

The bridge thankfully held out and didn’t collapse when we jumped off it. But we were all still pretty shaken, Mum especially. Dad was out of breath and sat down next to Lizzie on the soft grass, breathing heavily.

“Whew, thanks for your help, lad,” Dad said at length, still out of puff. “I’d never have been able to lift her myself.” I turned to look at him, perplexed.

“What help?” I asked curiously. “You were the one who got her out of there.”

I actually felt a bit guilty, and silly, for just running out onto the bridge without thinking, and not really being able to do anything. Suddenly though, much to everyone’s surprise, Lizzie spoke up, breaking her earlier silence.

“Your horn was glowing,” she said quietly. “And then Mum glowed and you and Dad pulled her out.”

I guess I’d been too panicked at the time, but evidently I’d tapped into my magic once again. I was still no closer to having control over it, but it was a start. If we were here for a while, I’d certainly want to learn a bit about it. Right after we got out of our current situation.

With the four of us now all across the ravine, we once again found ourselves trekking through the forest. The sun was still fairly high in the sky. At a rough guess I’d say we had five or six hours of light left.

I looked up at the sun in thought as we walked. That wasn’t the sun I was used to. It was some whole other sun. It wasn’t at the centre of a solar system, it was moved around this planet by the magic of an alicorn. The same could be said for the moon too. It was just…such an overload really. Every now and again I would remind myself that we actually were in Equestria, and hopefully, before long, we’d reach Ponyville.

Still, my excitement was tempered by our current situation. There were more pressing issues than running off to meet my favourite ponies. As much as it would be fun to be here, I think we all would want to go home at some point. We all had lives after all. Lizzie was just about to start university again, I’d recently finished and was job hunting, Dad had his own firm to run, and Mum was just beginning to settle into her retirement from teaching. We couldn’t just drop all that so I could go gallivanting around Equestria.

My thoughts drifted to a more immediate plan. Once we came to the edge of the forest, we’d need to get into contact with the ponies, preferably with Twilight Sparkle, now a princess I reminded myself. She’d be most likely to help us and not freak out as a lot of ponies tended to do. Our best bet would be for me to head into Ponyville. As a pony, I wouldn’t draw too much attention, certainly less than having three humans with me.

We’d all been walking in comparative silence for some time now. But I was suddenly startled out of my thoughts when Lizzie, who had been walking alongside me, spoke up.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked curiously. She was still fairly quiet, but at least she was talking now. I shrugged my shoulders.

“I’m just trying to think what we ought to do next,” I replied, still half lost in thought.

“Dad said you were taking us to this pony town outside the forest,” Lizzie said, I nodded.

“Well, yeah,” I answered. “But you, Mum, and Dad can’t just walk in there. They’d all panic. After all, things that come out of the Everfree tend to be bad news. I don’t want any of you getting hurt.” Lizzie pushed a tree branch out of her way as we pressed on.

“That makes sense. I guess that magic could really hurt us. You managed to pick up Mum after all.” I nodded in agreement.

“It’s probably a good idea for you guys to stay on the edge of the forest,” I suggested, before reassuring her, for her face had a worried expression. “Don’t worry, hardly anything goes near the border. All the nasty stuff stays closer to that castle.” Mum then broke into the conversation.

“How much further do you think it is anyway?” she asked.

I wracked my brains. We had been walking for a while now since we left the ravine and the rope bridge behind. It had been a while since I watched the pilot episode, and like I said, my exact knowledge of MLP wasn’t exactly at my beck and call due to my stress levels. I tried to remember the series of events that had led Twilight and her friends to the castle. Before the ravine there had been a…

“Hey look, a river,” Dad said, pointing ahead of us, just beyond a last thicket of trees.

Indeed, there was a river. As we came out of the trees again, we found ourselves standing on the grassy bank. The river was wide and fast flowing. I couldn’t see the bottom of it either. I knew enough about rivers to know that there was no way we could risk swimming. Even if I could swim in this new body, the current could potentially take you quite a way downstream, or even pull you under if you got caught on something. And even if we all got across, walking around in soaking wet clothes was a recipe for hypothermia. We weren’t exactly an SAS patrol unit after all.

No, there was no way we could all swim across, so we needed to find some other way. My dad quickly started looking up and down stream in search of some kind of bridge, or a shallower crossing place like a ford. But there was none to be found. From end to end, at least within eye sight, or until the river turned sharply, disappearing behind yet more trees, this river was deep, wide, and fast flowing, with foam even forming in places on its surface. I didn’t even want to think about what might be in there.

“Well, any ideas, lad?” Dad asked me haggardly, looking at the flowing water in concern.

Ah, yes, I reminded myself; Dad didn’t like water. Ever since he was a boy, mainly due to his mum panicking when some idiot pushed him underwater for a moment at the swimming pool. From that day on, he stays as far away as possible from any body of water he can’t touch the bottom of.

We needed to get across, that much was clear. I remembered that a river was one of the landmarks that we were looking for in order to guide ourselves out of the forest. But how did I even know that this was that particular river? The Everfree Forest was huge; covering a vast area of land, there could be half a dozen different rivers flowing through it for all I knew. I chastised myself for thinking that I could navigate using an ambiguous twenty minute long cartoon as a guidebook.

I was about to suggest trying to create a rudimentary raft of some sort, when fortune intervened. Ahead of us, in the centre of the river, bubbles began to appear on the surface of the water. Something was down there. A moment later, I saw something coming to the surface, something very large. Instinctively, I backed off, as did the rest of my family.

A few moments later, it tore out of the water, shooting up into the air perhaps ten feet. I won’t lie, that scared the living daylights out of me, and I’m fairly certain we all screamed in fright. I was certain that, whatever this creature was, its next move would be to dive down on us and devour us all. That…didn’t happen though.

As the creature steadied itself after broaching the surface, I recognised some of its features. It was a large sea serpent (although river serpent might be more appropriate), purple over most of its body with light orange hair on its head. This included a moustache on its elongated, dragon like muzzle. It was orange on both sides now, but I knew that once upon a time, half of it had been a well styled purple tail. Realising the identity of our assailant, I cried out in surprise.

“Bloody hell, it’s Steve!” I exclaimed in relief. The rest of my family looked at me in complete and utter bewilderment. After all, a moment ago, I was just as scared as them. Dad was the first to come to his sense.

“Steve?” he shouted back in shock. “That’s a bloody great sea serpent in the middle of a river!” I tried to explain.

“It’s okay, he’s friendly, really,” I assured. With some trepidation, I turned back to the huge sea monster, who was now watching us all with some curiosity. I swallowed and hoped I wouldn’t make an ass out of myself.

“Greetings, my friend,” I said, waving a hoof and doing my best to keep my voice steady. “I don’t suppose you could help a lost pony and his friends out could you? We need to get across this river and the current is far too fast for us.” I mentally crossed my now non-existent fingers and hoped the blighter would play ball.

“Well sure, little pony,” he replied, smiling. I’d forgotten just how fantastically camp he sounded. Behind me, Dad was struggling to avoid laughing. Suffice it to say, he comes from a different time.

“I’m always happy to help. And you are right, this current is just impossible unless you’re a good strong swimmer.” With one quick motion, he lay down prone across the river bed, angling his form so that it created a series of islands that we could hop across.

Mum and Dad were a little hesitant at first, but after I jumped across, with Lizzie following me a moment later, they followed suit. You had to watch your footing, since it was a little slippery, but it was easy enough, and in a few moments, we were all on the far bank, that much closer to our goal. We all turned back to the large serpent.

“Thanks for the help,” my mum called out to him. He smiled.

“Oh sure, hon; any time,” he replied, waving a claw in a dismissive way. He then dove back under the water, splashing spray up onto either side.

I was again smiling at our success. Lizzie too seemed to have enjoyed our unconventional trip across the river. Our parents…well, that was another story. The stunned stares told their own story

“That just happened, didn’t it?” Dad said at length. “I didn’t just imagine us all skipping along the back of a giant sea serpent that talked like a fruit.” Lizzie giggled at that.

“No, that happened, Dad,” she replied. “I guess not everything in this forest is out to kill us.”

“Just who exactly was he anyway?” asked Mum. I decided to have a little fun

“Oh, that was Steve Magnet,” I replied nonchalantly, enjoying the moment. “Really nice guy, I think you two would really get along.” Mum shook her head in amazement.

“Before we go on, just answer me this,” she said. “Are we going to encounter anything weirder than that?”

I actually had to think for a moment. What in Equestria was more left field than Steve Magnet? Well, there was good old Pinkie Pie, naturally. Then there was Twilight whenever she had one of her little episodes about being organised. Who else? Well, let’s be honest, most residents of Ponyville would strike most people as a bit funny at times. But off the top of my head, I couldn’t really think of anything quite as ridiculous as a campy, giant sea serpent living in a river that doesn’t eat everything that it comes across. Except perhaps Discord. Now there was somepony I didn't fancy running into.

“Well, not in the immediate future,” I replied, rubbing a hoof against the side of my neck. “But Equestria can be a weird and wacky place at times.”

“Alright,” Dad said, jumping into the conversation. “Do you think it will be much further to this pony town of yours?”

“It’s Ponyville, Dad,” I replied, correcting him. “I don’t think it’s too far. That river should certainly be the last big obstacle at any rate. Well, as long as we don’t run into that manticore.”

“The what?!” my mum exclaimed.

The river, as far as I could remember, was the last real obstacle in our path. Everything else that had impeded the progress of the Mane Six had been the result of Nightmare Moon’s interference. So, I hoped that all we needed to do now was press on until we reached the edge of the forest.

Then would come the tricky part; getting help from the ponies. Effectively, the four of us were about to be responsible for first contact between our two species. Aside from the odd fandom suggestion that Lyra knew about mythical humans, they’d never really cropped up in Equestrian lore, so I had no idea how they might react. Plus, ponies could at times be somewhat xenophobic; just look at how they treated Zecora. How would they react to humans?

It would all depend on how our first meeting went. Assuming that I could somehow get Twilight to follow me, a random stranger she’d never met before, into a potentially dangerous forest that ponies only went into if they had to. We’d still need some way to introduce ourselves and prove we weren’t a threat.

Twilight herself might be level headed, but what about other ponies? And then, what were we to do after? My only real plan was to either try and convince Twilight to help us, or somehow get up to Canterlot to consult the princesses. And how were we to do that? For goodness sake, it would be nightfall in a few hours, and we didn’t even have anywhere to sleep! Once again, our once seemingly jovial foray into the magical land of Equestria was starting to turn sour and my own fears were again starting to creep back up from the depths of my subconscious.

I’m not going to lie, at this point, I was tired, my hooves and legs ached; I was worn out and needed a rest. The long trek had been draining mentally too. Being on the alert for so long was just as draining as walking. I knew that before long our tempers, as well as our nerves, would start to give out, and that was the last thing we needed.

As we continued though, I noticed that, despite the time of day, the sunlight seemed to be getting brighter as we walked. With each step, the shadowy canopy seemed to get less and less. There were more openings between the trees and less dark shadows. All in all, the place began to feel brighter, and so did we as a result.

“I think we might be getting near the edge,” Dad commented, also taking note of the improving conditions. He was walking behind me with Mum, while I was still on point, with Lizzie at my side.

“You’re right, dear,” Mum agreed. “It definitely looks a lot less spooky all of a sudden, doesn’t it? What do you think, son; are we nearly out?” I nodded and called back to her.

“It sure looks like it,” I replied encouragingly. “Once we do get to the edge we can find somewhere to hole up for a bit, while I try and get my bearings.”

I was certainly glad that we were coming to the edge of this place. But I had little to no idea where we’d come out. We might be near Fluttershy’s cottage. But for all I knew, we may have gone completely the wrong way, and now be coming out toward Ghastly Gorge. Still, anything was better than being stuck in that place. At least outside it would be bright, sunny, and comparatively safe.

As it turned out though, my worries were unfounded. For a few minutes later, before we reached the edge of the forest, we all picked up the sounds of another group approaching. Despite my supposedly improved hearing, Lizzie picked up on it first, followed by Dad.

“Shh, do you guys hear that?” she asked, reducing her voice to a whisper, and holding her hand up in a stop signal.

The four of us stopped where we were and listened. Dad crouched down slightly in an effort to be less conspicuous. Faintly, but definitely coming closer, was the sound of not only hooves on the ground, but also a number of voices. It was with a mixture of relief, excitement, and fear that I recognised them all instantly.

Well, I guess we hadn’t gone the wrong way after all.

Chapter 3 - Meeting the Ponies

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It’s difficult to accurately describe my thought process over those next few moments. I’m fairly certain I was swinging between elation and excitement at the imminent chance to meet the actual, real life, honest to God Mane Six, and also fear at just what the hell we were going to do. I’d been thinking about this moment for the last couple hours, planning and trying to anticipate every possible scenario, so that our first contact with the ponies would go smoothly. As I’ve said before, ponies can be remarkably xenophobic at times, and I had little to no idea how they’d react to humans.

The upshot of all that was, much to my discredit, that I froze up completely. My mind was whirring at such a rate of knots that it pretty much crashed. Full blue screen, program not responding, I just stopped stock still as the voices grew nearer.

Luckily, Dad wasn’t quite so overcome with excitement, only fear at the prospect of discovery. Instead, rather than freezing, the primeval section of his brain dedicated to self-preservation at all costs, chose a much more beneficial option; flight.

“Quick! Quick, hide!” he half whispered and half shouted.

He quickly shepherded Mum and Lizzie off the dirt path and concealed them behind a large thicket of shrubbery. They quickly did as he asked, however, he had to come back for me and all but drag me out of the way.

“Jesus, come on, lad!” he ordered.

Finally, I came back to myself and began to move under my own steam, hazily realising the fact that we were about to be spotted and any plan I might have had was about to go up in smoke. We all hid ourselves several feet away from the path we’d been on, well out of sight of anything that might come our way.Through the thick branches, I could see the path ahead of us, while still remaining concealed. Lizzie, Mum, and Dad all crouched down, while I could safely stand upright. The four of us kept as still as we could, and were quiet as church mice as the voices came closer. I peered through the gloom to see if I could spot them.

Soon the voices became so clear that it was possible to make out what was being said. The voices had been clear enough before, but only now could I make out any words. With my newly improved ears, I listened as best as I could, doing my best to tune out the sound of my own accelerating heartbeat.

The first voice I heard had the familiar cadence of a pleasant country twang; Applejack. Between you and me, I always pegged her as best pony, second to Princess Luna, of course.

“Ah just don’t get it, Twi,” she was saying, evidently talking to Twilight Sparkle, the only alicorn of the group. “Just what was that whole fancy light show exactly?” Fancy light show? I didn’t remember anything like that.

“I’m not sure, Applejack” I heard Twilight reply, sounding a little puzzled. “There was a lot of powerful magic involved, that’s for sure. But I’ve no idea what could cause it, or why those energy readings are still moving.” Energy readings? Could she possibly be talking about us? At that moment, a scratchier voice broke in.

“Who cares what it is,” Rainbow Dash said confidently. “Whatever it is, we’re more than equipped to take it on.” Straining my ears somewhat, I could hear the sound of wingbeats. These ears really had turned my hearing up to eleven.

It was then that I first saw them all as they came around a bend in the path. Twilight was leading the small group forward, her horn glowing with a soft magenta colour, and emitting that curious sound of tinkling bells that seems to be a feature of Equestrian magic. Walking alongside her was Applejack, her ever present Stetson hat pushed back slightly on her head. Slightly behind the pair was Rarity. The alabaster unicorn looked somewhat nervous but was much more confident than some of her other companions. Bringing up the rear was Fluttershy. The uneasy pegasus was starting at every odd sound and was doing her best to stay as close to her friends as possible. Finally, hovering above the group was the rainbow maned Rainbow Dash. Unlike the other ponies, she seemed to be spoiling for some action, shooting over to every nook and cranny in an effort to find whatever they were looking for, presumably us.

It felt sort of unreal to see them all, in the flesh as it were. There was no screen between our two groups, no barrier. In a minute or two, I would actually be talking to them all. Once again, my nerves started to pack in. My anxiety was so great that it took me a moment to notice that we were short one pony.

A brief glance up at the approaching ponies showed that we were surprisingly lacking in the pink department. The approaching group lacked a certain bouncing party pony. I was sure that, if the rest of them were here, Pinkie would be along, but for the life of me, I couldn’t see her. I turned around with the intent to quickly talk to Dad about what we were going to do. The best plan I had was for me to step out first, try and introduce us all, and then bring out the ‘aliens’ if you will.

Sadly, none of my well thought out plan came to pass.

Turning around where I was, I promptly froze up in shock. Well shock and amazement.

My parents and Lizzie were all still huddled together, crouched down to keep out of view. But behind them, staring through the few gaps in the bushes with just as much intensity, was Pinkie Pie. And again I emphasise, the Pinkie Pie, as in real life, not on TV; about five feet away.

They all quickly saw my surprised stare and turned around. There was a brief moment of silence as for the first time we all ‘met’ a pony in Equestria. We all stared at Pinkie, and she stared back, albeit with a very large, friendly, and genuine smile on her face. A sort of unreality set in, and the voices of Twilight and the others faded out as the four of us sat staring in bewilderment at the Element of Laughter. Finally, Pinkie Pie broke the silence.

“Hi!” she said excitedly. The effect was instantaneous.

With a sharp cry of surprise from my dad, and a scream from Mum and Lizzie, we all bolted out into the open, half running and half falling over each other, and promptly found ourselves face to face with the rest of the ponies. Pinkie Pie promptly followed us, bouncing on her hooves excitedly, almost jumping to my dad’s eye level, and still grinning at the prospect of making new friends.

“I found ‘em, I found ‘em, I found ‘em!” she crowed gleefully. Everyone else though, pony and human, was quite silent.

Talk about East meets West.

It was like being at a high school dance, that first meeting. Each side stood apart from each other, neither willing to make the first move. We stared at them, and they stared back. The only exception was Pinkie Pie, who continued to bounce up and down excitedly. I did my best to try and read the expressions of the ponies across from us. Mostly, there was confusion. But I saw that when Twilight looked at me, there was some recognition, presumably at my species being familiar.

Finally, after several tense moments, I decided to try and break the ice. Stepping forward a few paces got everypony tense for a moment. I stopped where I was, not getting too close. Hopefully, I wouldn’t make an absolute fool of myself. Still, at least Equestrian and English seemed to be effectively one and the same language. Things would have been much trickier otherwise.

“Er…hello there,” I began, lamely waving a hoof in greeting. It wasn’t exactly the best introduction, but I’m not a social person, particularly when I’m under pressure. I saw Fluttershy in the back of the group relax a little, while Twilight’s confusion seemed to grow.

“My…er,” I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to refer to my family as my family, given the difference in species. But on the other hand, it was bound to come out before long. “My family and I have been lost in this forest for hours. I don’t suppose you know the way out?”

I decided to plead ignorance for the moment. Yes, I knew these ponies would almost certainly help us, but I didn’t fancy explaining just yet how I came to know each of them by name.

My question hung in the air for a few moments, the ponies all still trying to work out what to do next. Eventually though, Twilight Sparkle spoke up.

“Who…who are you?” she asked. “And who are these…people with you?” She’d paused as she’d realised that she had no idea what their species was. I guess we didn't look much like the 'humans' she'd previously met. “More to the point how did you wind up in the Everfree Forest in the first place?”

The inquisitive alicorn was piling on the questions thick and fast, and none of us had sufficiently diplomatic answers to them. A moment later though, Twilight began to use her magic again, her horn being surrounded by a pinkish glow and the sound of tinkling bells permeating the air.

“Wait a minute…” she said a she tilted her head down, pointing her horn towards us; a gesture that somewhat unsettled Dad. As I had done, she took a few careful steps closer to us before suddenly looking up in surprise.

“It’s you!” she exclaimed. The lavender alicorn then turned back to her friends.

“Girls, this is where that strange energy reading is coming from. It’s them! They must have something to do with that magical energy blast!” That kicked Rainbow Dash and Applejack into high gear and they both took defensive stances, while Fluttershy and Rarity backed away uneasily, only Pinkie Pie seemed unphased. I was about to attempt damage control when Mum, much to everyone’s surprise, beat me to the punch.

“Wait, wait, wait, please!” she exclaimed, holding up her hands in a human gesture of surrender. “We don’t know anything about that! We just woke up here in this forest and want to get out and go home!” That got them all to pause for a few moments, either from having listened to her, or merely shock at the realisation that she could speak. A moment later, Twilight spoke again.

“So where did you come from then?” she asked, still a little sceptical, but overall seeming to accept what was being said. This question, I did need to get in front of.

“We aren’t from Equestria,” I said, doing my best to explain. Twilight cocked her head curiously.

“What do you mean?” she replied. “Those three creatures behind you may not be familiar to me, but you look like an ordinary pony.” My dad now jumped into the conversation.

“He may look like that now,” he explained, sounding as if he only half believed his own words. “But until a couple of hours ago, he was the same species as the rest of us. He’s my son, you see.” Twilight looked confused.

“You mean he looked like you before you woke up here?” she asked. Dad nodded.

“Right. Until we all wound up here, he was just like us. Now, he seems to have gone and turned into one of you ponies and we’ve no idea why.”

The alicorn placed a hoof to her chin in thought before coming over to me, her horn glowing again. Perhaps she was examining me with her magic somehow? A few moments later, she relented and looked up to my dad again.

“Well, that part of your story seems to check out,” she declared. “Your son is coated in high level magic; certainly enough to allow for a transformation spell. But I can’t find the actual spell that’s keeping him this way. If it wasn’t for the magic on him, I’d say that he’d always been a pony rather than a…” she trailed off, realising again that she wasn't entirely sure what we were.

“What are you folks anyway?” Applejack broke in, posing the question with a little less tact than Twilight might have liked, judging by the look she gave her orange friend. Dad, luckily, didn’t seem to mind.

“We’re called humans,” he replied. “My name is Roger.” Carefully, he extended a hand out to Twilight. After a moment’s hesitation, and some confusion as to the gesture’s meaning, she walked over and placed her hoof in his hand.

“I’m Twilight Sparkle,” she said, before gesturing to her friends. “These ponies are my friends; Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and the one bouncing around is Pinkie Pie.” We all exchanged brief hellos at this. First contact was actually going better than expected.

“So, if you’re not from Equestria, where do you come from, and how come you’re here?” Rainbow Dash asked, her voice carrying some hint of suspicion. I’d figured that she’d be the hardest to convince. Well, the question was going to come up eventually, so I waded in.

“I don’t think that we even come from the same planet actually, Rainbow Dash,” I replied, now able to use her name without causing suspicion. “I take it this isn’t a planet called Earth?”

“Earth?” Rarity parroted, speaking for the first time. “Wasn’t that one of the names the earth ponies were going to give to Equestria?” She looked to Twilight, the resident egghead, for confirmation.

“I’m not sure really if there is any connection,” I replied. “But our world is a lot different to yours. Humans are the only sentient species; there aren’t any ponies like you, no magic either. We all come from a country called the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. There’s no country there called Equestria, as far as I know.”

Still hovering, Rainbow eased over towards me. Leaning down a little from her airborne perch, she looked me in the eye, which was more than a little unsettling.

“So what are you guys?” she asked, sounding a little more curious. “Some kind of weird aliens or something?” I shrugged my shoulders.

“I suppose you could call us that,” I replied. At this, the pegasus snorted and folded her forelegs across her chest. She then floated back over to her friends.

“Oh come on, that’s a load of horseapples!” she exclaimed. Dad seemed about to offer a counter argument to that, when Pinkie Pie, who’d previously been bouncing away on the side lines, suddenly jumped back into our little dialogue.

“Oh, come on, Rainbow Dash!” she exclaimed, clearly bored. “We’ve been stuck in this opening arc for ages. Can we at least skip to the part where we all go to Ponyville?”

Everyone, pony and human alike turned to look at her in bewilderment. While I had no idea what she was on about, it still made me smile a little. It actually made me chuckle, even if I had no idea what she meant.

“Heh, Dash is right, Pinkie Pie,” I said, laughing to myself. “You are so random.” And with that, I really put my hoof in it. Rainbow Dash started as she realised what I had said.

“Hey, how do you know I said that?” Dash asked, now sounding deeply suspicious. She thought for a moment, before her tone became more aggressive.

“Seriously, how could you know that?!” she demanded, poking me in the chest with a hoof. “You told us that you just got here, from some alien planet, or whatever the hay you said. So how could you know what I said about Pinkie Pie?”

I wanted to slam my hoof onto my face in frustration. Things had been going so smoothly…me and my big mouth. This wasn’t something that could be swept away easily, and the explanation wasn’t going to go down to well either. I looked over to my dad; he jerked his head toward the still waiting group, signalling for me to tell them. I took a breath.

“Okay,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “This is going to sound pretty weird to all of you, but I promise that it’s the truth.” Rainbow backed off again and, along with her five friends, listened.

“You six ponies, on my world, are the main characters in a…in a fictional story. We have these things called televisions; they’re…kind of like film reels. And there’s a show about you six…about your adventures, and how you used the Elements of Harmony to defeat threats to Equestria. It started with Nightmare Moon, and the last major episode I saw was when you put the Elements back into the Tree of Harmony to drive off Discord’s Plunderweeds and rescue the princesses.” By this point I was feeling pretty awkward. “That’s…that’s how I know about you.”

You could have heard a pin drop after that. I could tell from the looks of the faces of the ponies though, that they didn’t buy it. Dash certainly didn’t.

“So, what you’re saying is, is that you ‘humans’.” She made quotation gestures with her hooves. “Have basically been spying on us for the past few years?” Oh God, I don’t need a four year old meme right now, Dash!

“No,” I replied. “No, no, no. Until a few hours ago, I didn’t even know that any of this was real, none of us did.” It was then that Twilight spoke up again.

“Okay, let’s test this,” she said, with an air of authority. “What do you know about me? Something that almost nopony knows. If you and your species really have been observing us through this ‘television’, you should be able to come up with something.”

In an instant I had an idea. It was fortunate that it was Twilight who asked, since she had her own, very secret method of establishing her bona fides, between herself and her old foalsitter. And I knew that almost nopony knew about it, certainly not some random unicorn/human. After all, not even changeling spies had picked up on it. Still, it would be a little embarrassing.

Swallowing my pride in favour of building bridges and proving that our story was true, I walked a few paces forward. Walking up to Twilight, I crouched down slightly and began. Already I could feel my face turning red under my fur.

“Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake,” I began. “Clap your hooves and do a little shake.” Twilight, unsurprisingly, didn’t mirror my actions, and stood there with her mouth hanging open. Behind me, I could hear both my parents trying to hold back their giggling and sniggering at my poor attempt at copying the actions.

“Okay,” Dash said quietly, after a few moments. “This is now officially weird.” Twilight backed off still looking deeply troubled. Rainbow then turned to Applejack.

“Honesty is your thing, AJ,” she said. “What do you make of these weird apes?”

Pushing her hat back on her head, Applejack looked us all over in turn, her eyes narrowed. Even though I knew that I was telling the truth, I still found myself breaking out into a sweat under her gaze. Luckily, it didn’t last long, and the earth pony farmer soon had her verdict.

“As crazy as this sounds,” Applejack said, sounding bewildered. “Ah reckon that they’re tellin’ the truth; least as much as they all understand it.” Inwardly I breathed a sigh of relief.

“So these creatures have been ‘spying’ on us, as Rainbow Dash put it?” Rarity asked. Twilight shook her head.

“I don’t think so,” she replied. “At least not intentionally. In fact, this might explain what the blast from earlier was.” She paused for a moment; far too long for Pinkie.

“Well come on then, don’t keep us in suspense!” she exclaimed impatiently. Twilight smiled a little.

“I think this may be further proof of the multiverse theory,” she said, with an air of confidence.

“Er, multi-what, Twilight?” Applejack asked, with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s the idea that there are multiple universes; different worlds,” she explained. “But more importantly, a lot of ponies believe that there might be some overlap between them all. What’s fictional in one universe may be reality in another.”

That would explain how these guys know about us, then?” Rainbow asked. Twilight nodded.

“If I’m right,” she went on, turning to us. “You four were somehow pulled into a rift between our two realities, stepping from one to the other. It would be sort of like the mirror portal. And if that’s the case, we may be able to get you back to where you came from.”

“But there was no rift, as far as I could see,” I replied. “And I don’t remember any light show or explosion when I woke up.” Twilight frowned.

“It could be that the rift was unstable and collapsed behind you,” she said, with an air of concern. “If that’s the case, you may well be stuck here.”

At that suggestion, Lizzie, who had been completely quiet and shaking like a leaf from the start, began to get upset. Even being with her family, the prospect of being stuck on a whole other world, never seeing anything that had been so familiar mere hours before was a lot to bear. I know I was feeling the same way. Equestria was a nice place to visit, sure, but I wasn’t sure about being stuck here.

She clung to my mum’s arm tight, while my mum did her best to comfort her. Seeing the poor girl’s distress brought the silent member of the other group out. Carefully making her way forward, Fluttershy timidly walked over to Lizzie. Initially, my dad moved to stop her, but a quick signal from me told him to let Fluttershy come closer.

The kindly butter yellow pegasus, who was just as adorable as she was on the show, walked over to my sister and gently hugged her. After a moment, Lizzie let go of my mum and hugged Fluttershy back, her crying coming to a stop.

“There, there,” she said, in a gentle, maternal tone. “Don’t be scared. We’ll do all we can to help you get home.” She then turned back to Twilight and the others.

“They can’t stay out here in the forest. We need to get them back to Ponyville,” she said, taking the initiative. The alicorn nodded in agreement.

“I think you’re right, Fluttershy,” she said. The others also voiced their agreement. “It’s probably best if we take you to see Princess Celestia as soon as possible. If anypony can help you get back home, she can.”

Turning around, she beckoned for us to follow, and the whole of us, as a single group headed on out. Before long we found the canopy of trees getting even thinner, and the world around us growing brighter. Finally, after what felt like days, but was really probably no more than a couple of hours, we finally emerged out of the Everfree Forest.

Before us lay the wide open grasslands and the small town of Ponyville. Up the sky sat the floating city of Cloudsdale, far off in the distance, only just visible. And sitting on its mountaintop perch, was the gleaming city of Canterlot. As we stepped out into the light, I smiled and turned to my equally relieved family.

“Welcome to Equestria, everyone.”

Chapter 4 - Teleport

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I don’t think I can really express my feelings at the moment when we all walked out of the Everfree Forest on that sunny afternoon. Like I said before, I’d been swinging between two extremes from almost the moment I woke up and found myself here. On the one hand, this was great; an effective vacation in Equestria, meeting some of the main characters from the show, meeting the princesses in the near future, visiting Ponyville, and all the sites of so many well-known locales…

Well, you see what I mean. My mind was quickly beginning to run away with me and all the opportunities suddenly available. And even better, I had not been cut off from my family in the process. Okay, I doubt they were as excited at the prospect of being temporarily stuck in a world of magical technicolour ponies as I was, but we were all together. If this had all happened to just me alone, they’d have all been worried sick. It would be even worse if I found myself permanently cut off from them.

Ah…there was the counterpoint to my excitement and rampant fanboying. We were, for the moment at least, stuck here. Granted, there are worse places to be stranded, but we’d just spent the last few hours trekking through a potentially dangerous forest, at times in fear of our safety. We were cut off from Earth and all we’d known. This wasn’t some merry jaunt or trashy self-insert story; we were here, with little more than the clothes on our backs. As much as the fan side of me hated to admit it, there were many practical problems in our current situation.

I looked up again to what I knew to be Canterlot in the far distance. I held up a hoof to shield my eyes against the glare of the sun, which was now hovering slightly above the peak of the mountain. Before long, the sun would set, and the moon would rise. That I was looking forward to. Personally, I’ve always been something of a night person, even before I, like so many others in the fandom, took an interest, read fanaticism, in Princess Luna. I certainly hoped I’d get a chance to meet her at some point, before we left. Assuming we left that was.

Still, there wasn’t exactly much I could do right now, was there? And as I said, we were all just glad to be out of that forest and with friends more than anything else.

I actually found myself feeling pretty tired from the experience, and so did the rest of my family by the looks of things. After staring at this wondrous new world, undoubtedly with a goofy smile on my face, for a minute or so, I turned my attention back to my family.

Along with Twilight and her friends, they’d settled themselves down on a small rise a few hundred yards away from the edge of the forest. They were starting to talk amongst themselves as the surprise of meeting each other finally began to dissipate. Relieved as I was from my position as unofficial guide, I turned my attention back to myself, and this pony body. There were quite a few changes after all.

Interestingly, it seemed that my new pony form lacked the allergies my old one was cursed with. I’d had pretty bad hay fever since I was little, and it was now the height of summer. I cannot think of a worse way to ruin a once in a lifetime trip, than to spend it sneezing, coughing, and with streaming eyes. So, as bad as our predicament could be, at least there was that. Dad too, didn’t seem to be affected, he being the one I inherited the affliction from. Between that and the improved hearing and vision, I seemed to have done alright by my sudden change. Perhaps the pollen was different here in Equestria, so that my body didn’t react in such a negative way to the harmless substance. I briefly thought of H.G Wells’ book ‘War of the Worlds’ and hoped that being strangers on this world, we wouldn’t end up the same way as the unfortunate Martians, when exposed to all the completely alien ecosystem.

Filing that somewhat dark thought away for later, I turned my attention back to my family, who were no doubt equally relieved to be out of the forest. They now seemed to be in the process of building bridges with our new pony friends. There’d been the odd brief conversation as we headed out of the forest, but it seemed that only now had the proverbial ice been broken.

My dad was sitting and chatting with Applejack. Back home, we had ourselves a little smallholding. It wasn’t much, just a few chickens, sheep and a couple fields that we rented out to the local farmers for grazing, but it was enough for Dad to consider himself to have at least some knowledge of farming. He’d began talking with her after I told him that she was a farmer, although the sheer scale of her operation seemed to surprise him.

“So how big is this Sweet Apple Acres exactly?” He was asking. Applejack pushed her hat back on her head and thought for a moment.

“Ah’d say somewhere around a thousand acres or so,” she replied nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. “It’s one of the biggest orchards in Equestria.” My dad’s eyebrows shot up.

“Seriously, a thousand acres of orchards managed by one farm? How do you harvest it all by yourselves?” Applejack laughed slightly and shook her head.

“Oh it ain’t all apples,” she corrected. “We grow plenty of other crops too. Plus there’s the fields we have for grazing the local sheep and cattle. As for how we do it…”

For effect, she got up and walked over to a nearby apple tree. Turning around so that her back legs were facing the trunk, she gave it a strong kick with both hind legs. The tree shuddered, and a moment later, no less than a dozen apples dropped to the ground. With a quick move of her tail, she batted one of them over to my dad, who deftly caught it in his hand. Turning back to him, Applejack smiled confidently. He simply let out a low whistle at the display, before taking a bite.

“Impressive,” he commented. “And tasty too.” Applejack smiled slightly and leaned against the tree, crossing one leg over the other.

Meanwhile, Mum had fallen into conversation with Rarity. I figured that she at least would need the help of the Ponyville fashion designer, or somepony like her, to make up some new clothes. After all as I said, we may well be stuck here for a while according to Twilight, and my family only had the one change of clothes.

“Hmm, it does seem to be a case of function over fashion,” Rarity was saying, examining the clothes my mother was wearing from every angle. “Though I must say, the material quality does leave a lot to be desired. Where exactly did you find these garments?” Craning her neck around slightly, my mother did her best to read the label in the back of the neck.

“Er, M&S, Marks and Spencer’s, I think,” she replied, with some embarrassment. “They’re a large chain of clothing shops back home. Most of their stuff is made quickly and cheaply in other countries. They certainly aren’t tailor made or anything.” Rarity nodded in understanding.

“Ah, I see. I suppose that when clothing is a requirement rather than an optional accessory, that is the way a business would have to go to turn a bit. Equestria has its fair share of large clothing businesses of course, but I imagine they would be quite small in comparison. I suppose my own small business would count for little more than a pittance then. My own business model certainly wouldn’t last long on a world like that.”

“I don’t know about that,” my mum replied encouragingly. “There is still quite a market for high end clothes. You might get on alright with the right connections.” Rarity tittered.

“Ah yes, that old chestnut,” she said wistfully, perhaps remembering her own encounter with Hoity Toity.

I turned my attention back to Dad and Applejack, who now seemed to be getting along like old friends. I was glad for that.

“No, Ah’m tellin’ ya,” Applejack was saying. “It’s a cowpony, not cowboy round these parts.” Dad was smiling and laughing a little, as was Applejack.

“Seriously, do you just add ‘pony’ as a suffix to everything?” he asked half seriously. “So what, do you get ‘cowpony’ films here?” To his surprise, Applejack nodded.

“Sure, Ah’ve seen a few of ‘em every now and then. Even saw Wild Bull Hickok and Calamity Mane once up in Canterlot.”

For a moment, my dad was rendered utterly speechless. The history of the Old West was something of a hobby for him, just as my interest in the Civil War was, and the idea of meeting the pony equivalent of two of our own Old West’s historical figures interested him greatly.

“Oh, we have so much to talk about, Ms. Applejack,” he said, smiling and lying back down on the soft grass. They then launched into that old conversation any aficionado of the West will start up, given the chance; who’s the toughest, the fastest, and who shot who in the back.

Then there was Lizzie. My little sister and Fluttershy had been pretty much inseparable for the journey out to the edge of the forest. The butter yellow pegasus had suddenly come over all maternal with her after their initial meeting. Mum had been looking after her as well, of course, but the pair really seemed to have bonded remarkably quickly. In fact, she seemed to be the one most accepting of the ponies, happily sitting with Fluttershy, talking about her many animal friends.

My little sister always has been one for cute critters I guess. And that little bit of common ground was enough for the typically shy Fluttershy to open up to her. It had actually surprised me quite a bit when Fluttershy had walked out to comfort Lizzie. No offence to her, she is just as much a hero as any of her friends, but she had seemed the least likely one to take the initiative.

Still, as I said, the pair seemed to be getting along nicely. Lizzie had stopped fretting and crying some time ago, and her tears had all dried out. She was busily talking to Fluttershy about her cottage and the many creatures that called the place home.

“It sounds like such a nice place, Fluttershy,” Lizzie said, playing with her hair a little. Fluttershy was mirroring the action with her own mane.

“Oh…well, you know…you’re more than welcome to come and stay for a while,” she replied. “I mean…if you need somewhere to stay until you can get home.” She smiled, making me want to go ‘d’awww’ as a result. Seriously, in person, that mare is twice as adorable.

It did also take one issue off my plate. It was getting into late evening now, and the sun was low in the sky. It was unlikely that we’d be able to go up to Canterlot tonight, and even less likely that we’d be finding some way back. I was pretty much certain, and my parents both seemed to be thinking along the same lines, that we’d be here for a day or so. So we would need somewhere to sleep. At least Lizzie now potentially had her accommodation worked out.

I was startled out of my thoughts, when Twilight Sparkle walked up to me. The alicorn had been going around our little group talking in turn with each of my family members. Evidently, it was now my turn.

Much to my discredit, I hadn’t actually spoken much to any of the ponies. Excited as I was, as well as somewhat worried, I had pretty much retreated into my old introverted self; like I used to be when I was younger. I’m fairly open and chatty nowadays, but not so long ago, back in high school, I’d been so quiet that the school’s headshrinker had pulled me into her office one day and, I kid you not, told me to ‘get your nose out of those books, and go make some friends’. Ironically, it was about a year or so later that I stumbled on MLP, just as Season 3 was ending.

“Hey, how are you holding up, Blade Star?” she asked curiously.

Ah, yes, quick point I should explain. Obviously my name isn’t Blade Star. That was the name I gave to the grey coated, blue maned unicorn OC that I now resembled. My dad had introduced me to Twilight and the others with my real name. The only reason I asked Twilight to call me Blade Star was for the purpose of not arousing suspicion.

While my parents and Lizzie would have to sneak into Ponyville, simply to avoid alarming ponies, and causing certain flower selling ponies to faint, I could easily walk in with Twilight and her friends without trouble. But with my decidedly non-Equestrian name, I might still arouse suspicion. So, in an effort to avoid that, I took on an alias. Silly, I know, but when you first wind up in Equestria, you tend to make a few missteps, so cut me some slack. I have to live with it after all.

I turned away from my family and the other members of the Mane Six and found myself again face to face with Twilight. Luckily for my own dignity, my nervousness at meeting her had prevented me from running my mouth too much. I can’t imagine how much I’d cringe later down the road if I spent the whole time just banging on about the show and asking her questions.

“Not too bad, all things considered,” I replied. “How about you? I guess this is just as much a shock for you as it is for me.” Twilight smiled in a disarming way.

“It is all very strange,” she agreed. “Especially seeing some random pony perfectly imitate a greeting that nopony except Cadence, Shining Armor, and I know about.” I laughed sheepishly.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” I replied, scratching the back of my neck with a hoof. “But you did tell me to ‘prove it’.” I decided to get to the matter at hand (or should I be saying hoof now?).

“Anyway, how do you figure on getting my family into town? More to the point, where can they stay?” I was about to go on, when Twilight held up a hoof to stop me.

“Easy, Blade Star,” she reassured me. “We’re all going to head to my library for now. Well, you, me, and your family anyway. I’ll send a letter to Princess Celestia to see if she can help us, and we’ll go from there.”

“But how are we going to get them all into town?” I asked. “Okay, I can just walk in with you girls. But ponies are going to notice three humans, and Celestia knows how they’ll react.” My thoughts turned to one Lyra Heartstrings, who, if memory serves, has a slight obsession with humans, at least according to the fandom. Also, I didn’t realise it at the time, but that was the first time I began to slowly slip toward using Equestrian vernacular.

Twilight nodded in understanding and knitted her brows in thought. A moment later, the proverbial light bulb appeared above her head.

“I’ve got it!” she declared happily, with a newly determined look on her face.

“Well, come on then, let’s hear it,” I replied excitedly, eager to hear what the alicorn had come up with.

“I can use my teleportation spell to take them to the library.” That gave me some pause, if I’m honest.

Teleportation, as far as could be made out in the show, was a difficult thing to do, even for one pony. And the idea of a pony even as skilled and as powerful as Twilight transporting not only herself, but also three other people in one shot, seemed quite a stretch. After all, it involved breaking them all down to the molecular level and rematerializing them. I’d seen enough episodes of Star Trek, and the first movie, to know what happened during an accident involving matter transportation. Plus, as far as I knew, Twilight had never performed the spell with so many people at once. The most I’d seen was the rare occasions where she had teleported herself with Spike on her back. And that had left the young dragon’s scales somewhat singed.

“Are you sure that’s safe, Twilight?” I asked nervously. “I mean, from what I know, teleportation is a difficult spell for a unicorn, and carrying three people along with you too. Are there any risks to it? Hell, have you even done it before?” Twilight paused, her confidence staggered for a moment, and she scratched the back of her neck with her hoof.

“Well,” she replied at length. “I’ve never actually done it before, but I’m confident I can do it. I’ve spent years studying complex spells like this. And I’ll be sure to put in a failsafe to return us all back here in case something does go wrong. Trust me, Blade Star; your family will be in good hooves.”

I wasn’t really sure how to respond, after all, this was my family, and there were some serious risks to consider. My opinion would certainly carry a lot of weight when Twilight suggested the idea to my parents and Lizzie. I was about to say no and ask Twilight to try and find some other way; maybe an invisibility spell or something like that. However, I also reminded myself of one important fact; this was Twilight Sparkle, graduate of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and her personal student. She knew almost as much about magic as Celestia herself. If she could say with confidence that it was safe, then who was I to doubt her? For goodness sake, everything I knew about this spell came from Star Trek. For all I knew, it was completely wrong and the spell operated on a completely different system.

“Alright then, Twilight,” I said eventually. “Let’s see what my folks have to say about your idea.”

“No! Absolutely not!” Dad exclaimed. “There’s no way, no how you’re scrambling my molecules about!” Dad was something of a Star Trek fan himself, and took the same view of teleportation as Dr. McCoy.

“It’s perfectly safe, Dad,” I replied in an effort to placate him. “Twilight’s teleported herself around dozens of times. “ Dad however, was still defiant.

“My answer’s still no,” he said indignantly. “For goodness sake, lad, we don’t even understand how this ‘magic’ even works. What if it does something to us that it isn’t supposed to? What if we all have some reaction to it? What if we all come out the other end as unformed sludge?!” Behind him, I saw Mum and Lizzie pale noticeably.

We’d been arguing like this for a few minutes. At first, he was open to any suggestions as to how to sneak us all into town. But when Twilight suggested using a teleportation spell and clarified precisely what that meant, he became less than enthusiastic. True, he had become friendly with some of the ponies, but he wasn’t quite ready it seemed, to put that much trust in them. In an effort to allay his fears, I called in a little scrap of knowledge from the show.

“Twilight, could you turn around for a moment?” I asked her. She gave me a slightly confused look, but obliged nonetheless.I turned back to Dad.

“Now look at this, the three of you,” I said, gesturing to Twilight’s cutie mark. I felt my cheeks tinge red as I did so, and I saw Mum do the same.

“This is Twilight’s cutie mark. Everypony in Equestria, except young foals, has one of these. It appears when a pony discovers their special talent. And her special talent is magic. Not a single spell like a lot of unicorns, but all magic; she’s got a natural gift for it. To my knowledge, there isn’t a single spell yet that this mare hasn’t been able to master. She’s used teleportation on herself dozens of times without incident, and she’s even carried Spike around with her when she did it. So trust me when I say that you’re in good hooves.”

At this, Twilight turned back around, a slightly sheepish look on her face. Despite her ability, she still does seem to get embarrassed when somepony heaps praise on her. My little statement seemed to sway Mum and Lizzie in favour of the idea, but Dad, protective of his family, was still unwavering in his opposition.

“I still don’t see why we can’t just sneak in after dark or something,” he said, folding his arms. I frowned.

“Sure, we could do that,” I replied. “But what if you get caught? Ponyville was turned into a ghost town because a zebra came by every now and again. If they get that scared by a genetic cousin, how do you think they’ll react to humans? Trust me, Dad; we need to keep you guys on the down low for now, until Twilight or the princesses can figure something out.

“What about flying us in then?” Dad suggested. “Couldn’t…er…Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy fly us in without being seen?”

Speaking of Rainbow Dash, the firebrand pegasus, unable to sit still for more than five minutes, had been flying above us for some time, stunting and pulling tricky manoeuvres above our heads. In fact, the steady repetition of ‘whoosh’ sounds as she flew by was starting to get on my nerves. At the mention on her name, she swooped down and hovered between our two groups.

“What do you mean, ‘fly you in’?” she asked. “You mean like, picking you up and carrying you?” The uncertain look on her face told us what she thought of this idea.

Still, not one to give up without trying first, Rainbow did make an attempt. Positioning herself behind my dad, and placing her front hooves under his armpits, she attempted to lift him off the ground. But despite the furious beating of her wings and the excersion that was plain on her face, she could barely lift him off the ground for more than a few moments, and only a few inches at that. Eventually, out of puff, she relented.

“Yeah, hate to break it to you, big guy, but that ain’t happening,” she admitted. “Twilight’s idea is probably the way to go.” Pinkie Pie then chipped in.

“Dashie’s right, you guys,” she said reassuringly. “I mean, since we’ve known Twilight, there’s only been a couple dozen minor accidents from her magic, and nopony was really hurt in any of them.” In her head, I’m sure Pinkie thought that was the best possible endorsement of her friend. Dad however, didn’t see it that way. I snorted in irritation.

“Alright look,” I said, walking between pony and human. “There’s one simple way to prove that it’s safe. Twilight can teleport me first, there and back. Will that be good enough for you?” At this point, I was getting a little annoyed at my Dad’s obstinance and was snorting irritably, as horses and ponies tend to.

Still, nopony had any objection to the idea. I think Mum, Lizzie, and the ponies all just wanted to get on with things, particularly Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Following Twilight, I walked away from the group to a safe distance and promised them that I’d be back in a matter of seconds.

Well, either that or my time in Equestria was about to come to a very sudden end.

Twilight began to cast her magic and her horn glowed a bright pink colour. A moment later, there was a bright flash of light and the signature popping sound of a teleportation spell. As my vision cleared, I found myself to be standing along with Twilight, just next to the sign that stood outside the Golden Oaks library.

But we weren’t there long, for a moment later, before I even had a chance to admire the scenery, the alicorn used the same spell again, and we reappeared in front of my family and Twilight’s friends.

“See, it’s perfectly safe,” I said triumphantly.

My brief trip did seem to finally sway Dad around to my point of view and he at last relented.

“Alright, then,” Twilight said after everything had been agreed. “Here’s what we’ll do. I’ll take Roger, Margaret, and Lizzie to the library now. I’ll have Spike send a letter to Princess Celestia to tell her what’s happened. Once that’s done, I’ll come back here, and we can all, along with Blade Star, head back to town. We’ll all meet up again at the library when we hear back from Celestia.”

“Sounds like a plan, Twi,” Applejack said agreeably. There were similar mumblings from the other ponies.

With everything sorted and ready to go, my family all gathered around Twilight. While I’d already undergone the effects of the spell, I guess they would actually be the first humans to be teleported, technically speaking.

“Okay, I’ll see you guys in a few,” I said, waving to them all.

“See you in a bit, lad,” my dad said. Twilight then powered up her horn.

“Alright, hang on, everypony,” she said. And with that, the alicorn and three humans all disappeared in the familiar flash and pop effect of a teleportation spell. That left me alone with the remaining members of the Mane Six. Now it was on to the Golden Oaks library, or back again as the case may be. In any case, I was heading to Ponyville.

Chapter 5 - Ponyville

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It was quiet for a few moments after Twilight and my family disappeared. The air shimmered for a few seconds, like a mirage, as the effects of the spell dissipated. It was then that I felt the first pang of real anxiety, something beyond my normal levels, since I arrived here. It reminded me of the feeling I felt when I first woke up alone in the clearing in the Everfree. For the first time really since our arrival, I was separated from my family. If it had been just me, alone in that forest, regardless of the knowledge, I’d be panicking and running around like a headless chicken. It was only the knowledge that I was with my family, particularly my parents, which had kept me grounded. And the idea of being separated from them, however briefly, was somewhat unsettling.

Okay, I was not really alone, I was still with Twilight’s five friends, all of whom were willing to help me and whom I knew to be entirely trustworthy. Still though, that feeling of being cut off from my family left me anxious.

Less than a minute after they all left, Twilight reappeared in front of us, minus my family members. Either things had gone perfectly or, as my more pessimistic half pointed out, badly wrong. Luckily, it proved to be the former, rather than the latter.

“I just thought I’d come back to tell you everything went alright, Blade Star,” Twilight said reassuringly. “Everypony made it to the library without a hitch. They’re making friends with Spike right now.”

She then seemed to be a little uncomfortable, as if she had been intending to say more but had suddenly stopped herself. A lavender hoof hung in the air. A moment later, she continued, a little unease in her voice.

“I…er…I guess you know who Spike is don’t you?” she asked. My response was immediate.

“Spike the dragon,” I replied. “Your personal assistant. You hatched him from an egg as part of your entrance exam for Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. He’s been living with you ever since you came to Ponyville and sends messages and friendship reports back to Princess Celestia through his fire breath. He’s also got a bit of a crush on…”

I suddenly found my mouth covered by a pink hoof and an oddly menacing Pinkie Pie stood directly in front of me.

“Forever.” She whispered, with a note of warning. I quickly reminded myself that, despite how painfully obvious it was, Rarity was not to be directly told that Spike had a crush on her. And, having seen what happens when you break a Pinkie Promise, I quickly shut my mouth. Pinkie Pie released me and disappeared away as suddenly as she had come. Twilight then stepped in again in an effort to dispel the sudden awkwardness.

“Er, yes, that Spike,” she replied, sounding just as bewildered as I was. “Sorry, if I sound a bit worried. It’s just a bit strange, you knowing everything about me and my friends.”

One of my failings, among many, is that sometimes I can be pretty much tone deaf socially. I usually eventually cotton on, but sometimes I can misread situations, or miss a few cues. I’m not afflicted with autism or Asperger’s, though I’ve been tested for both at some point or other. Naturally, I’d of course overlooked how uncomfortable it would be for Twilight, and all her friends, to be around someone who had knowledge that they ought not to. I mean, after all, how would I feel if the situation was reversed? If a lavender alicorn suddenly appeared in my room and knew every little thing about me, I’d be pretty uncomfortable too. So, I did my best to make up.

“Sorry, Twilight,” I said. “I guess this is as weird for you as it is for me and my family. I’ll try and avoid showing my hand too much. Although I can assure you, most of your life is unknown to me. It isn’t as if I’ve been following you and your friends every day, usually just when you six go out and save Equestria.”

This seemed to relax Twilight a little. It was still a little uncomfortable, me knowing so much, but keeping quiet about it, and toning down any fanboying, would probably make all our lives easier. There were some things though that’d definitely keep under my hat; some of the darker sides of the MLP fandom and the…clop. I doubt any of them would take kindly to that, and I had no intention of drawing the ire of anypony. Still, I’m sure at some point we could talk about the show, and maybe even fill in a few blanks here and there.

But that, I would play by ear. Right now, it was time to re-join my family in Twilight’s library, and that meant a little walk.

Twilight soon teleported back to the library to have Spike send a message to Princess Celestia, leaving me with her friends once again. While I’d just about managed to find my way out of the Everfree Forest, I didn’t really know my way around Ponyville.

Of course, I knew the important landmarks, like Town Hall, Carousel Boutique, the schoolhouse, and Sugarcube Corner, but the show never really laid out a clear map of the town. Considering that it was a fairly small village, Ponyville was quite the tricky place to navigate, with lots of buildings looking remarkably similar in their somewhat Swiss or German styles. So, I’d need a guide to get me to the Golden Oaks library, otherwise I’d just be wandering around the town for several hours.

Initially, I expected that Pinkie Pie would be the logical choice for a guide. While I might get dragged around the town for a bit and shown every landmark, and be introduced to every single pony there, she’d get me where I needed to go. So I was surprised when she turned my request down with a shake of her head.

“Sorry, Blade Star,” the party pony said apologetically. “But I’m gonna be super busy planning a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party for you and your family. Don’t worry though, as soon as I’m done with that, I’ll give you the complete Pinkie Pie tour of Ponyville.”

She then began to bounce away, with audible bouncing noises as she went. The other ponies too, weren’t able to take me all the way there. Rarity needed to head back to her store to finish working on some new designs. Apparently, she’d been busily working away until Twilight came and grabbed her, dragging her off into the Everfree to search for us. Fluttershy too needed to return to her cottage to tend to her animal friends, although she did promise to stop by the library in the evening to check I got there alright, and to see Lizzie again. As for Rainbow Dash…

“Oh come on!” the brash pegasus exclaimed when I turned to her. “What am I, some kind of foalsitter? It’s Ponyville for Pete’s sake, not Discord’s stupid maze. Besides, I’ve got some weather work to finish up. Coming out here to look for you guys put a huge dent in my schedule. And I was gonna practice some of my new tricks today too.”

She folded her forelegs as she hovered in the air with an indignant look on her face. I just rolled my eyes. It seemed the show had definitely given Dash’s ego its correct scale. Although, true to her element, she did promise that if I really was lost, all I had to do was shout for her. She then literally dashed away, leaving a rainbow coloured trail in her wake.

That left just Applejack. As I turned to her to ask the obvious question, the mare giggled.

“Don’t worry, partner. Ah’ll help ya,” she reassured me in her pleasant country accent. “It ain’t that complicated to find Twilight’s home. Just stick with me and you’ll do fine.”

Applejack led me back towards the town. I recognised a few landmarks of course, the town hall, the large windmill, and of course Sweet Apple Acres with its vast orchards. As the two of us walked together, my mind began to drift.

Firstly, I thought of my little sister, Lizzie. She really had seemed to have formed a rapid friendship with Fluttershy, and vice versa. It showed that she was accepting our current situation, as strange as it was, rather than continuing to flat out deny what was happening. After being in this world for so long, and with none of the signs that this was some fever dream or coma fantasy, I think we were all fairly accepting. Even if she had just latched onto Fluttershy as a coping mechanism, it showed that she was on the right track. It would be the last thing I wanted, but it would still be understandable if one of us did take a funny turn after all that had happened today; something like the result of delayed shock and adrenaline.

Mum and Dad were still dealing with things pretty well too, all things considered. They were still somewhat nervous and concerned, but who wouldn’t be? Even I was still uncertain about what we were going to do. Like I’ve said before, I like to have a plan for everything I do, and not having a plan and just winging it is damn near painful to me. I think having each other, and both their kids, more or less, helped to keep them grounded amidst the magical technicolour ponies. Mum and Rarity seemed to have connected fairly well, as had Applejack and my dad, just as I’d, much to my delight, found something of a friend in Twilight Sparkle.

As for me, well, I was fairly calm by this point; the mad pendulum had finally stopped swinging between emotional extremes and settled on a point of cautious optimism. And as we walked down the hill towards Ponyville, I began to consider our next move, though really it was pretty much out of my hooves and down to a combination of Twilight, Princess Celestia, and my dad. Still, I figured that our next destination would surely be Canterlot to meet with at least one of the princesses. As intelligent and learned as Twilight was, Celestia was more so, and I had little doubt that she would be able to explain with confidence the reason for our unexpected visit, if not point out a viable route back home.

Of course, my more pessimistic mind pointed out, there was the possibility that we could be stuck here a little longer than that. Hell, there was even the chance that this could be it, and whatever portal had brought us here was a one way street with no real way back. How would I feel about being stuck here?

If it was just me, I would be distraught, no question about it. But with my family by my side, I wasn’t so sure. I was at something of a crossroads in life. I’d just graduated from university not too long ago, and had been looking for work for a few months, haemorrhaging through what was left of my loan to stave off turning to the dole. Of all the times to suddenly be uprooted from my life and made to start afresh, this was probably the best one. And I wouldn’t necessarily mind that. I always looked upon Equestria as, while not a utopia, as somewhere a little better off than Earth, and it seemed like a place where we could all be very happy. Still, there was a lot that I’d miss, were I to be forever cut off from my old home. My house for one thing, and all my possessions. There’d be no more television or video games, no more internet, no more visiting my own relatives come Christmas time, no more driving down to the shops to grab the paper. And then there were all the things I’d meant to do. I’d never get to drive cattle across the panhandle, or see the Crusader castles in Jordan, or visit Cousin John and his wife down in South Africa one last time. There was a lot I’d potentially be leaving behind.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I could, along with the rest of my family, cross that bridge when we came to it. For all we knew, by this time tomorrow, we’d be shaking hooves with Princess Celestia, who’d wish us on our merry way and send us all safely back home. Heck, there was even the chance we could make this portal permanent. The fans would be queuing around the county for such a thing. In any case, there was nothing I could really do planning wise, until I had some more answers. It was then that Applejack spoke up.

“Well, here we are in Ponyville, sugarcube,” she began as we started to pass between rows of thatched roof houses. “That bridge over there’ll take ya up to Fluttershy’s cottage out by the forest.”

I turned and quickly recognised the small river running through Ponyville, and the modest stonework bridge that spanned it. I did my best to start sketching out a map in my head. The two of us continued into town.

“And right over there is Rarity’s boutique,” Applejack continued.

I picked out the familiar carousel shaped building. If Rarity placed a few of her mannequins out front and somehow got the building to rotate on its foundation, it would honestly be a carousel. It was a fair distance from any other building and quite out on its own compared to other shops in the town. Passing by the shop, Applejack led me into something of a maze of streets before we turned onto one of the larger thoroughfares and ended up at the diabetes inducing building that was Sugarcube Corner. In the window up top, I could see a silhouette of Pinkie Pie pass back and forth. Applejack noticed it too and laughed.

“Well, looks like Pinkie Pie’s already startin’ on that party for y’all.” She said smiling. I laughed too.

“Yeah, it’ll certainly be a nice change of pace after everything that happened today.” I replied.

We continued along the road, heading toward the centre of town, we passed by the town hall, which Applejack told me was a good landmark, as pretty much all the other main roads in the town led out from there in a sort of spider web pattern. We actually stopped for a few moments in the town square to give me a chance to get my bearings. The pair of us sat down at the large fountain off to the far side of the square. Atop the dais was a status of Princess Celestia, rearing up with her front hooves pounding the air. Considering the relatively backwater nature of Ponyville, the quality of the craftsmanship and the resemblance to the alicorn herself was most striking.

As I sat there, I also indulged in a spot of pony watching. Fans of the show had given pretty much every single pony in Ponyville a name, a character and their own backstory if the writers hadn’t. It would be interesting to see how much stood up to the real thing.

I picked out first, two ponies sitting on a bench. One sat like a typical pony, with her forelegs tucked underneath her, but the other sat in a manner than looked almost painful, with a more human appearance. Did I mention that said pony was a minty green unicorn mare with a lyre cutie mark? Naturally, the pony next to her was Bon Bon, who was looking at her companion with a mixture of curiosity and pity.

After that, near the small market that was currently set up in the main square, I spotted Roseluck, Lily, and Daisy selling their wares. I suppressed a chuckle as Roseluck almost fainted when she realised that she’d mislabelled some of her produce.

To complete the miniature tour of Ponyville, and to give me a good grounding of each part of the place, Applejack took me on a route that skirted around the edge of the town towards her own home on Sweet Apple Acres. Passing Quills and Sofas, a business concept that, even in Equestria, borders on the ridiculous, yet still functions, we came towards the edge of the town.

Here I found the wonderfully clichéd Ponyville schoolhouse, with its church like bell and steeple. Outside was the simple playground that no doubt provided plenty of delight to the foals that attended. And of course, this was where Cheerilee worked as well. I wondered if the hints that she and Big Mac were sweet on each other were true or not. Right now, the place was quiet. It was late in the afternoon on a Wednesday, so all the foals had gone home to enjoy the brief break from school that, at their age, seems like a whole summer.

Passing the schoolhouse, Applejack briefly led me along a path out of town, the opposite side from which we had come, saying that she wanted to show me the best route to Sweet Apple Acres in case I ever needed to drop by. For some reason, she smiled at me as she said that, though I’d no idea what it meant.

We stopped on a small rise from which, in addition to the hundreds of apple trees, I could just make out the wooden red and white farmhouse and barn that the apples called their home. It certainly looked very rustic and welcoming, even from here. Before I left Ponyville, I certainly wanted to visit this place, maybe even ask Applejack if I could lend a hand, or hoof. I may not be a bonafide farmer, but my family did have a little smallholding back home; just a few chickens and sheep mind you. Unlike the apples, most of our small parcel of land was, by way of longstanding agreement, rented to the local farmers for grazing sheep and cattle.

After seeing her own home, Applejack turned us around and led me back toward Ponyville. She showed me one of the simplest ways to find my way. The town was mainly built around several major roads, all of which branched out in one way or another from Town hall. So, if I ever found myself a little lost, going there was a good means of getting my bearings.

From the town hall, it was a fairly short trip, with not too many turns to remember, before we found ourselves at our destination. The building was a literal tree house, or tree library, I suppose. Standing completely apart from the surrounding architecture, it was almost certainly unique. It was also a little smaller than I expected. I knew from the show that the interior of the library was quite spacious. Maybe the ponies had discovered trans-dimensional engineering, and it was bigger on the inside?

The place looked welcoming enough, in the fading daylight, the first few lamps were coming on in Ponyville, and the light from within the library gave it a warm, comforting glow. Stopping just before the threshold, I turned to Applejack, who was no doubt preparing to head back to her own home.

“Thanks for helping me find my way here, Applejack,” I said appreciatively. “I think I had more than my fair share of being lost today in that forest.” Applejack chuckled.

“Don’t mention it, sugarcube,” she replied, touching the brim of her hat with a hoof. “Ah just hope Twilight or the princess can help y’all find a way home.” I nodded in agreement.

“You and me both,” I agreed. “And listen, if I do get the chance, I’ll see if we can all drop by Sweet Apple Acres. Even if we do go back tomorrow, it’d be criminal to go without a bushel of your family’s famous apples.”

Smiling and wishing me well, Applejack departed, leaving me to myself in front of the library. Walking up to the odd, stable like door, I found myself at a bit of a crossroads. This was a library, a public building, and consequently there would be no problem with me just walking in. On the other hand though, this was Twilight and Spike’s home, so it would be rude to just wander in. As I thought, the protesting words of one Jesse Pinkman entered my mind, and I chuckled to myself.

To play it safe, I did tap on the door with a hoof, something that’s actually quite different that using your knuckle; yet another thing to add to the list of changes to get used to with this pony body.

Tapping on the hard wooden door, I waited for a response. A moment later, both the upper and lower halves were opened and I saw…well, nobody actually. At first I was a bit confused, but quickly realised what had happened when I heard the noise of somepony clearing their throat. Looking down slightly, I realised that it was Spike who’d answered the door. Even in my comparatively shorter frame, he was still quite small next to me, perhaps somewhere around the three foot mark. He stared at me for a moment with mixture of surprise and mild annoyance on his face.

“Er, can I help you?” he asked with some confusion. I guess being a strange face had thrown him a little. Mind you, I was just as surprised at suddenly meeting the baby dragon.

“Oh, hi there, Spike,” I replied after a moment. “Is Twilight about?” The young dragon nodded.

“Oh, yeah, she’s here,” he answered, stepping aside and letting me in. “But, er, how do you know my name?” My ears splayed against my head as I realised why the little dragon had been so confused by my arrival. As I walked in, Twilight came down the stairs.

“Ah, Blade Star. Got here in one piece I see,” she said in a welcoming tone. “Lizzie and your parents are in the next room settling in.” She was about to go on, when Spike, having shut the front door, broke in on the conversation.

“So, what, are you two like old friends or something?” he asked perplexedly. Twilight, now seeming calmer about the current situation than when I last saw her, merely shook her head.

“No, Spike,” she replied. “Blade Star isn’t from Equestria. He’s part of Roger’s family. He’s their son, and Lizzie’s older brother.” This just left Spike even more bewildered.

“But he’s a unicorn and they’re…” he trailed off, while Twilight began to explain.

As for me, I suddenly found myself in one of the most recognisable places in the show; Twilight’s home and library. This place was warm and cosy looking and seemed to be imbued with the smell of old books. It was quite literally stacked up to the rafters with them, and knowledge about virtually every facet of Equestria and the world was no doubt stored within this comparatively small building. The sheer number of fandom questions and arguments I could settle for just an hour in this place.

Spike and Twilight continued talking for a little while, while I busied myself examining the many books on display. They were all well-made hardback books, reminding me of the style of centuries earlier. There were no paperbacks with cheap illustrations here. Most of the titles were of course around the study of magic, Twilight’s speciality. Perhaps if there was time, I could at some point do a bit of studying. Learning about actual magic, particularly considering that I was now a unicorn, was not something that I intended to let pass me by.

After Twilight had explained fully the situation to Spike and reintroduced us to each other, we got on pretty well. Spike, like Twilight, found the strange series of events that had brought us here most interesting, comparing it all to the storylines from one of his Power Ponies comics. After a few moments getting to know each other, Twilight led me through the small passageway that connected two parts of the lower level of the library, taking me to where my family was waiting.

Chapter 6 - Settling In

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Emerging out of the small stairway into the second half of the libraries lower floor, I found myself reunited again with my family. The three of them seemed to have settled in fairly well so far. Dad, like me, had taken to browsing through the seemingly endless shelves taking out a book or dusty tome now and then and leafing his way through it, although since none of us could really read Equestrian too well there was some similarity to English. Mum meanwhile, seemed more interested in the unusual construction of the library and was pottering about the room, looking at how the natural tree seemed to effortless meld with the requirements of the library. The shelves for example, far from being placed there, or carved out, looked almost as if they had literally grown with the tree. As for Lizzie, she had her nose in a Daring Do book that she’d found and seemed to be fairly interested in the exploits of Equestria’s Indiana Jones, mainly going by the pictures. They all looked up when Twilight and I walked in, with Spike trailing a little way behind us.

“Oh, hey there, lad,” my dad said. “I gotta say you definitely made the right call in pointing us here. Although it seems that they use a different written language than us.” He gestured to the many books he was still browsing through. I smiled at his slight annoyance.

“I'm sure Twilight will be happy to teach you,” I replied knowingly, though slightly annoyed at the fact that he got to go through the library’s catalogue first, even if he couldn't read it. “What about you, Mum? Are you settling in okay?” My mum shrugged her shoulders before rubbing a hand across the back of her neck apprehensively.

“About as well as you can expect,” she answered. “Although there are one or two things I’ve seen since I got here that still baffle me.” I raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, like what?” I asked.

“Well, when the three of us got here,” she explained. “Twilight took us all inside and went to talk to the lizard of hers; Spike, right?”

“Dragon.” Spike reminded her as he restocked a few of the library’s shelves. “Lizards can’t do this.” With that, and with great effort, he blew out a small flame of greenish coloured fire. The look on my Mum’s face was priceless, though I quickly reassured her that she had little to fear from the friendly, young, baby dragon. A moment later, after recovering herself, she continued.

“Right…dragon. Sorry, Spike,” she apologised. “Anyway, she rattled off a letter to this princess of hers. He wrote it down and tied the scroll up. But then he burned the whole thing up. And the smoke…well, it sort of came alive. It flew out the window!”

The reason for all that was fairly obvious to me. Any fan of the show worth his salt (a phrase that had new meaning here in Equestria) could easily tell you that Spike possessed magical fire breath that allowed him to send and receive letters like that. However, I remembered how my excessive knowledge had unsettled Twilight before. So, turning to her, I opted to hold my tongue.

“Well, I think Twilight here can answer that question better that I can,” I half lied. “After all, she’s the one who hatched him. Wait…dammit!” I promptly connected my hoof to my face in annoyance. This time though, Twilight didn’t seem to mind.

“You see, Margaret,” the young alicorn explained. “Spike's flame breath is enchanted. Anything he burns up gets sent directly to Princess Celestia. When I first came to Ponyville, I used it as a way to send friendship reports every week. And then later on, my friends did the same thing to. But now that I’ve completed my studies and become a princess myself, we just use it as a way to communicate important messages quickly.” Mum listened in interest, though my dad had picked up on the more important fact that Twilight had subtly dropped into the conversation.

“Wait, you’re a princess?” he asked, with no small amount of surprise in his voice.

For her part, Twilight suddenly came over all sheepish, a strong blush appearing on her face. From my own knowledge, I knew that she was still getting used to the idea herself, and that she didn’t want her new title to affect the way ponies treated her.

“It’s not a big deal,” she replied, sounding slightly embarrassed. “You don’t have to bow or anything, Roger.” I jumped back in to the conversation in an effort to divert attention from the awkwardness that had suddenly sprung up.

“So have you had any response from Princess Celestia yet, Twilight?” I asked offhandedly. She shook her head.

“No, not just yet,” she replied. “Though I’m sure we’ll hear from her soon.”

It was at that moment that Spike was suddenly seized with an odd series of spasms. At any other time, I would have thought this to be the result of illness. But I recognised the symptoms of an inbound letter well. With a particularly loud burp, the world’s only living fax machine coughed up a large plume of smoke. A few moments after that, it rematerialised in the form of a scroll bearing the golden horseshoe seal of the sun princess, all neatly tied up in a crimson coloured ribbon.

Spike caught the communique in his claw as it stopped briefly hovering in the air, dissipating the remaining magic that had brought it here. He was about to undo the seal himself, but Twilight was more than eager to see what her mentor had to say. Taking the scroll from his grip in her magenta coloured magic, she hovered the note in front of her. From my position standing next to her, I was able to see what the note said, although just as Dad had found, I couldn't actually read it. It ran in this fashion:

“My dearest Twilight Sparkle. I must confess that, outside of the mirror portal, neither I nor my sister have heard of these creatures that call themselves ‘Humans’ before. It seems highly likely therefore, that they are truly foreign to our world; your theory about a dimensional portal certainly holds water in light of the events in the Everfree Forest. I hope that we will soon be able to allow them to return to their own world through the same means. Regrettably, both my sister and I are currently engaged in trade negotiations with representatives from the Griffon Kingdom, so I will not be able to receive them in Canterlot until this weekend. Please do your best to make them comfortable and enable them to settle down in Ponyville. On Saturday morning I shall send a chariot for you all, and we can see about sorting this problem out then. I look forward to seeing you all. Your friend and mentor – Princess Celestia.”

Twilight rolled up the scroll and passed it back to Spike. The three members of my family looked on with anticipation.

“It looks like you may have to stay here a little longer than you initially planned.” Twilight began.

“What do you mean?” my mum asked.

“The princesses are both busy with trade negotiations with the Griffon Kingdom this week,” she explained. “Princess Celestia won’t be able to see you until Saturday.” This didn’t sit well with my dad.

“Seriously?!” he exclaimed. “A whole new species turns up in her country, and she wants to put trade negotiations at the top of the list? Don’t we get some kind of priority?” My mum was a bit more understanding.

“Come on, dear,” she countered calmly. “If the situation was reversed and a group of talking ponies suddenly appeared on Earth, I think they’d get a decidedly colder reception. We’d probably lock them up for goodness sake! Besides, we’re hardly a threat and we can put up with staying here for a day or two. So I think you can see why this princess might want to put us on the back burner. Besides, it’s only three days. It’ll be a chance to explore this place, see the sights. Heck, it’ll almost be like a little holiday.”

It was at that moment though, that a thought struck me. Today was Wednesday, so we were going to be here for at least three days, rather than just a few hours. Where were we all going to stay? Celestia’s letter had asked Twilight to make us all comfortable, but could she look after all four of us? And what about basic essentials; my family literally had nothing but the clothes on their back, and I didn’t even have that! I promptly voiced this concern to the most well organised pony in the room.

“Hang on a minute,” I said, jumping in to the conversation. “Where are we all going to stay for the next three days? It’s not like we can grab a room in a hotel or anything.” Twilight and everyone else thought.

“Well, if two of you are okay with sharing a bed, I suppose I could put you up for a while,” Twilight offered. “But I’m not sure there’ll be enough room for six of us here.” Lizzie then spoke up.

“Fluttershy said, on the way over here, that if I needed a place to stay for a while, I could stay with her.” Dad nodded in agreement.

“As long as you’re okay with being on your own for a bit, sweetie,” he agreed. “Though I’m sure we can all meet up between now and Saturday. What about you, lad?” They all turned to me.

I wasn’t actually sure where I could stay. If I had the bits, I might try looking for some B&B or little hotel here in Ponyville. But asking Twilight to lend me some money seemed like pushing her generosity a little too far, considering she was already looking after Mum and Dad at no charge. So where else could I stay?

My first idea was to join Lizzie at Fluttershy’s cottage, but I quickly shot that idea down. Her cottage was small and crowded enough as it was with all the animals she cared for, plus Lizzie; as with Twilight’s library, it would be too full.

Rainbow’s home was out of the question, magic or no, there was no way, no how I was setting foot on clouds without a parachute. Plus, as loyal as she can be to her friends when it matters, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to tolerate the brash pegasus for three days. It would look bad if I came back from Equestria as ‘the brony that throttled Rainbow Dash’.

Pinkie Pie too was not really an option, since she lived with the Cakes. She only had her small room above the shop, and that was in addition to those Cake twins. I’ll be honest, gurgling small foals that like to walk on the ceilings and look at you with those unsettling, soulless eyes did not seem like the best roommates come bedtime.

So, I had two choices left. The logical choice was, of course, Rarity. Given her role as the Element of Generosity, I was sure she’d be able to make something work for a few days. Her home above Carousel Boutique was large enough, and she had more than enough couches for me to sleep on. But after thinking about it for a moment, I wasn’t too sure. That became even more the case when, after suggesting the idea, Spike started giving me the evil eye.

Thus, I had only one option left open to me; Applejack. The country mare had suggested that I stop by some time, but I wasn’t sure she’d be able to take me in. On the other hand, if she could let me sleep on the sofa for a couple nights, I could at least earn my keep by helping her out on the farm. That was the one problem with all my other options; I hate being seen as a freeloader you see, so having a way to pay back Applejack and her family put my conscience at ease.

“Well, I guess my best bet is probably Applejack’s then,” I said, causing Spike to relax a little. “I can head out and see if she can let me have a spot on their couch for a night or two.”

“So where’s Applejack live then?” my mum asked.

“She’s got a farm a little ways outside of town,” I replied. “Did you see that whole load of apple trees on the other side of the town; that’s the edge of the farm. Plus I can probably lend a hoof working there, at least enough to earn my keep for a few days.”

“Alright, sounds like a plan,” my dad said. “So, your mother and I will stay here with Twilight for a bit. Lizzie, you’re going to stay with Fluttershy, and you, son, are going to be at this farm. Right?” I nodded.

“What about us all going out and about, Twilight,” I asked. “I know Princess Celestia didn’t say anything, but it’s probably best that you keep us under wraps for the time being.” Twilight nodded.

“I have to agree with you there, Blade Star,” she replied, before turning to my dad. “I know it might be a bit boring for you three, but you ought to stay inside and out of sight until we can think of a way to explain this mess to everypony.”

“So how am I going to get to Fluttershy’s then?” Lizzie asked. Twilight smiled and trotted over to her.

“Simple,” she replied. “I’ll just use teleportation like I did before. I can do the same thing on Saturday when Celestia sends a chariot for us.”

“And I can make my own way, I think,” I added. “Applejack gave me a little tour of the town on the way over here. I’ll head to Town Hall and then follow the road up to the farm. If worse comes worst, I’ll just follow the apple trees.”

With everything agreed, three of us made preparations to leave. Twilight asked Spike to help Mum and Dad set themselves up in the spare bed across from her own upstairs. After a quick goodbye, Twilight had Lizzie stand next to her and the pair disappeared again in that same flash and pop as before. I waited for Twilight to return before I left, just to be sure that Lizzie got to her destination without trouble. It wasn’t long before the alicorn, now alone, reappeared in the library.

“Okay,” she said brightly. “Fluttershy’s more than happy to look after Lizzie until Saturday morning. Are you two both settled in?” My dad nodded.

“Yes, Twilight. This should be enough for us to get by with for a couple of days. You’re very kind.” She blushed again at that.

“What about you, Blade Star?” she asked. “Are you heading off now?” I nodded.

“Yes, I guess I ought to be off if I want to get there before it gets too late,” I replied. “I’ll see you guys on Saturday then.” With that, I turned and headed out the door.

Stepping out of the library, I realised that I’d spent more time at Twilight’s than I initially thought. In contrast to the bright sunny day from before, it was now well into the evening, and the moon hung low in the sky, with the last few lights of day in the far west. Gone was the light blue, almost cloudless sky, and in its place was a mixture of red, purple, and golden hues that bathed the whole landscape in a warm glow. Back home, it would have started to drop cooler by now, but Equestria’s climate seems to be more along the lines of the North American continent, noticeably warmer than back home. It was now still warm, but not uncomfortable. It actually made my journey to Sweet Apple Acres quite pleasant.

Working my way through the town, following pretty much the same route that had brought me to the library, only in reverse, I watched ponies closing up the last few open shops and stalls. The town was steadily growing quieter and quieter as the day drew to a close.

I reflected on the fact that, in a couple hours or so, I’d be able to see the night sky in Equestria for the first time. Back home was a bit of an amateur astronomer. Living out in the middle of nowhere meant there was little to no light pollution, and on a cold, clear night, you could see perhaps thousands, if not millions of stars. I decided that, if I had the chance, I would stay up a little while and take a look, and do a spot of comparing.

I must admit, I’ve always been more of a night person, and the moon and the night sky had fascinated me from a young age. Hopefully, in three days’ time, I might get to meet the mare that was responsible for it all, at least insofar as raising the moon was concerned. Like quite a lot of people in the fandom, I did have something of a bias toward Princess Luna, and as I said before, she was right up at the top of my list of ponies to meet.

Still, at present the sun was still clinging on, the last few rays streaming over the horizon, staining the sky with those amazing colours. Walking past Town Hall again, and doing my best to remember the route, which was of course all now reversed, I began to make my way out of Ponyville. Crossing over the stone bridge that crossed the small river that ran through the town, I left the cosy, lighted houses behind, and began to head toward the huge plantation that dominated the other side of Ponyville.

Before long, the pathway soon changed to simple dirt roads, which were actually quite a bit easier on my hooves if I’m honest. Despite having been a unicorn now for just under a day, walking with four legs was starting to feel surprisingly natural. I’d found the right rhythm and it was hardly different from walking on two. Maybe it was linked to how quickly horses learn to walk? After all, I remember seeing foals on one of the local farms, up and about on their overly long legs a few minutes after being born.

Anyway, before long, just as the sun was finally dipping behind the hills in the distance, I found myself walking under the archway, and past the fence lines that marked the border of Sweet Apple Acres.

The path was fairly straight, bordered on either side by wooden fences. In the last fading moments of sunlight, it reminded me of parts of mid-western America; places like Kentucky or Tennessee. I’d never been to the states myself, but from pictures and films I’d seen, it seemed to fit the bill.

As I walked on, I saw another small path, branching off from the one I was on, and that headed deeper into the orchards. I could just about make out a child’s treehouse towards the far end. And while I couldn’t be certain, I was fairly certain that that was the clubhouse of the famous, though at times infamous, Cutie Mark Crusaders. Potentially, I’d be meeting at least one of them before long.

My thoughts turned to my own cutie mark, and I glanced back at it for a moment. What did it mean? Was it really my cutie mark, or was it just the one I’d given the character I’d created? Well, at least those three fillies wouldn’t rope me into one of their mad schemes, and I wouldn’t arouse suspicion. I just wouldn’t mind knowing though.

Eventually, just as the twilight was fading and the moon was beginning to rise, an event which saw me briefly pause my journey to admire, I came to my destination; the farmhouse. Well, farmhouse and barn. It always struck me as an odd design choice personally, but who am I to judge?

I was lucky that I arrived when I did, much longer and I’d have been finding my way in the dark. Until the moon rose higher and lit up the landscape, I was without a light source. And since I couldn’t get my magic to work on command, I couldn’t just create one myself. That actually annoyed me a little. I mean, for goodness sake, even Snails can do that.

Walking around the farmhouse, I found myself at the front door. After taking a moment to make sure I looked somewhat presentable and to collect my thoughts, I knocked on the red and white wooden door. It was still fairly early yet, and all the lights were on, so I knew I wouldn’t be inadvertently waking anypony up. Listening with my somewhat more sensitive ears, I heard movement and voices from within. A few moments later, the latch lifted and the door opened, sending light from inside the farmhouse streaming out into the darkness. And right there, standing in the doorway, looking just a tad imposing, was Big Macintosh.

Now, I have never been the tallest guy in the room. On Earth, I stood at around 5’8, 5’9 on a good day. So I was a little below average, but I never considered myself short. I was roughly the same scale here in Equestria in this pony form. Okay, yes, I did now look up at my little sister, but I had an inch or so on Twilight and all the other girls.

But that did me little good compared to Big Macintosh. Were I still my old human self, he would have probably come up to my shoulders. As it was, I was about eye level with his snout. Add to that the mass of a four legged being compared to a biped, and you have one imposing sight. Of course, I knew he was perfectly friendly, but still, for a moment I was put off. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I did my best to strike up a conversation.

“Er, hi there,” I began, a little uneasily. “You’re Big Macintosh, right?” The stallion nodded.

“Eeyup,” he responded gravely.

“Is Applejack about?”

“Eeyup.”

“Can I talk to her for a minute? Twilight sent me.”

“Eeyup.” This was starting to get a bit tedious. Mac briefly stepped away from the door and I heard him go into the next room. A moment later, Applejack came out to the doorway, a slightly surprised look on her face.

“Hey there, Blade Star,” she said, smiling. “What brings y’all out this way?” I quickly explained myself.

“Twilight heard back from Princess Celestia,” I explained. “She says that we’ll need to stay in Ponyville until Saturday when we can go up to Canterlot. Mum and Dad are staying at Twilight’s, and Lizzie is staying with Fluttershy, so I was wondering if I could maybe stay on your couch for a couple of nights? I’d pitch in and do what I can to help around the farm, of course.” Applejack smiled and nodded happily.

“Well, of course you can stay here, sugarcube,” she replied, beckoning me inside. “Ya can take the spare room for a couple days.”

That was a relief, I wasn’t certain if Applejack had the room to house me, and I didn’t fancy too much walking back to Ponyville in the dark. Closing the front door behind me, Applejack led me into the front room of her family home. Whereas Twilight’s library had a warm, cosy feel of…well, a library, the farmhouse had a more rustic charm that I actually found quite comforting if I’m honest. Taking me through another door, I found myself in the kitchen, which doubled as a dining room. It was here that the rest of the Apple family were sitting down, about to have dinner. I blushed slightly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Applejack,” I apologised. “I didn’t realise you were all in the middle of your dinner.” Applejack though, was quick to reassure me.

“Nonsense, sugarcube. Ya came at just the right time, Ah reckon.” She then turned to Granny Smith, the ancient apple matriarch. “Granny, how’s about settin' another place tonight; we got ourselves a guest.”

The venerable Granny Smith, who had been standing at the stove, tending to the meal, now turned around to face me. Applejack quickly explained to her grandmother why I was here. For a moment, she squinted at me with her weakening eyes, but a moment later, her face brightened.

“Oh, of course, there’s room in this here house, Applejack,” she agreed. “Long as this feller’s willin’ to lend a hoof now and then.” I smiled and nodded.

“I’d be happy to help out in any way I can, Mrs. Smith.” I replied. This got her laughing.

“Ah, just call me Granny like everypony else there, ya young whipper snapper,” she ordered. “Now come on and sit yourself down.”

Ponies of course, didn’t really have chairs as we’d recognise them. Sometimes you’d see places with large cushions, but that would be in too sharp a contrast to the Apple family’s more simple way of life. I found myself sitting between Applejack on my left, and the young Apple Bloom on my right. Big Mac sat across from me, and was now giving me something of a warning look, though I couldn’t be sure with his impassive features. As Granny Smith laid out the dinner, I introduced myself.

Being so close to the Element of Honesty made me feel a little uneasy about the white lie I was telling. I didn’t need to look, I could feel Applejack’s burrowing gaze on me the whole time. I mean, I probably could have told them precisely who I was; Applejack would no doubt have backed up the facts. But then they’d know about my parents and Lizzie, and potentially have to sit on that secret for a good long while. So, with that in mind, I omitted a few details. I didn’t weave a fiction; I merely said that I was far from home, and in town for a couple of days until I could get up to Canterlot, and that if push came to shove, Twilight would explain everything. While not entirely satisfactory, it seemed to be enough for the Apples’, at least for the time being.

With the introductions over, the five of us settled down to dinner and chatted convivially. Again though, a few times, I felt that Big Mac’s gaze was not exactly friendly. Might it have something to do with the fact that I was a comparative stranger who seemed to be getting on well with his little sister? Were our roles reversed, I’d probably be doing the same thing. Still, aside from that, we all got on well.

After dinner was done with, and all the plates had been washed up and left to dry, Applejack led me upstairs and showed me the room I would be staying in for the next couple of nights.

Much like the rest of the farmhouse, it gave off a sort of rustic, cosy, and somehow familiar feeling. It was of course, rather plain. A simple wooden door led into a moderately sized room with bare floorboards and wooden wall panelling painted a dark green. A single window looked out over the orchards, and at present was letting moonlight stream in. Against the left hand wall was a bed, with a headboard that had an apple motif carved into it. Aside from that, the only furniture was a bedside table, and against the right hand side wall was a small writing desk and a couple of shelves. All in all, it was more than enough to satisfy my needs. Heck, it was a decided step up from most student accommodation I’d lived in.

By now it was getting late, and I was about to turn in. However before she left, Applejack had a quiet talk with me.

“Listen, Blade Star,” she said as she stood in the doorway. “Ah’m mighty sorry ‘bout how Big Macintosh was actin’ tonight.” Oh, so that hadn’t been my imagination. Applejack continued.

“He just gets a mite protective of me around colts he doesn’t know. Give him a day or two and he won’t have any problem with ya.” I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

“Eh, it’s alright, Applejack,” I replied. “I’m an older brother too, so I can see where he’s coming from. Anyway, I’d best bed down for the night.”

“That you should, sugarcube,” Applejack agreed. “Y’all have got an early start tomorrow. Be seein’ ya at sunup.” With that she closed the door and I settled down in my new bed to go to sleep.

Wait, did she say sunup?

Chapter 7 - Applebuck Season

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In my early days at university, I picked up a rather interesting, and somewhat odd, trick to getting up early. A roommate of mine, who unlike myself, had gone to a public boarding school (public paradoxically meaning private) suggested it to me, claiming that it had always helped him get up at early hours. Instead of the usual suspects such as the Indian trick of drinking lots of water the night before or simply setting an alarm clock far away from your bed, so you were compelled to get up, he suggested something a bit more unusual. Just before you went to sleep, you head-butted, with some considerable force, the headboard of your bed, the number of times equal to the hour you wanted to get up. So, six thumps equalled waking up at six. When he first told me his ‘brilliant’ method, I figured that he must have banged his head one time too many. But for the hell of it, and since at the time I was suffering from insomnia and knocking myself unconscious seemed like a good idea to get myself to sleep, I tried it. And wouldn’t you know it, it worked, consistently too. Though I wouldn’t recommend using it too often.

It was this method that I fell back on when I settled down to sleep in my new room on Sweet Apple Acres. Having volunteered to help out on the farm for a day or two, Applejack had told me that I ought to be up and about by sunrise. So, I set my internal alarm for five.

And wouldn’t you know it, the next morning I did indeed wake up at five in the morning, right on the dot. I came to a little groggily, but was soon wide awake. For a few moments, while my mind tried to get itself into gear, I was somewhat scared. I didn’t recognise where I was, more to the point, I was again surprised by my pony body. Luckily, after a few brief moments of panic, my memory kicked in. I was Blade Star. Yesterday I’d awoken in the Everfree Forest, and found myself turned into a pony. The whole strange series of events came flooding back and I was quickly myself again.

Throwing off the bed covers, I looked about me. The room was fairly dark, but with a bit of luck, I was able to find my way over to the window and throw open the curtains. It was still dark outside, pretty much confirming the time. Out on the horizon, the first faint red, orange and yellow slivers of daylight were beginning to appear, just about making it possible to see the land before it. It was actually rather pretty. How long had it been since I’d gotten up with the dawn?

I was about to go on admiring the beauty of rural Equestria, when I was startled from my thoughts by a sharp rap at the door. I jumped up with a start and, surprisingly enough, let out a very horse like whiney.

“Blade Star? Ya up yet?” A voice called out. It was Applejack, who was evidently more of a morning pony than I was. I gritted my teeth and splayed my ears at her banshee like wail of a greeting. I turned to the still closed door and called back.

“Yes, I’m up, Applejack. I’ll be down in two ticks. Come on in if you want.” Walking over to the door, I opened it and found the orange country mare, hatless, though with her mane already tied up in a ponytail with her signature red ribbons. She smiled at me.

“Mornin’, sugarcube,” she said, in a softer tone of voice. “Granny’s just setting out breakfast, so y’all can come down when you’re ready. The bathroom’s just down the other end of the hall. Ah’d get a move on though. You’re gonna need all the Apple family vittles’ ya can get for today. It’s gonna be mighty busy.” I nodded in understanding and began using my hooves in an effort to sort out my dark blue mane, which was apparently just as difficult to control as my own hair had been.

“Okay, Applejack. Give me a couple minutes to make myself presentable, and then I’ll be right down.” I answered.

Applejack headed downstairs, leaving me to straighten out my room. It took a little bit of concentration, but I was able to make up the bed without much trouble. I actually started for a moment when I realised there were no clothes for me to put on. I suppose having that as a key part of your routine for over twenty years makes it a hard habit to break. I actually felt, for a few moments at least, a little self-conscious about stepping out into the hall.

At a steady trot, I made my way to the bathroom. It wasn’t particularly different from its human counterpart, and I was thankful to find a spare toothbrush for myself. I cleaned my teeth, which were themselves quite different, and a little weird if I’m honest, being the flat chompers of a herbivore, rather than the familiar set of meat tearing fangs humans tended to possess. I considered taking a shower, but given that I was going to be working all day today, and undoubtedly working up a sweat, and since I seemed fine as it was, I decided to head on down to breakfast.

Walking down the stairs, something I hadn’t done until that moment, I found myself a little off balance, what with my centre of gravity being in the wrong place. Still, I didn’t go tumbling down and found myself in the kitchen with both my pride and my neck intact. The Apple family were already there. Granny Smith was again at the stove, and the other three members of the family were tucking into their breakfasts. A fifth place had been set for me.

Sitting down, I soon found what I think was a bowl of what Americans call grits placed in front of me, courtesy of the Apple matriarch. Not too dissimilar to porridge in both taste and function. Along with that, on the table there sat a pitcher of apple juice, along with some eggs, toast, and pretty much everything that would make up a fried breakfast, barring of course any meat.

“Thanks, Granny.” I said gratefully as I reached for the pitcher of apple juice.

However, much to my surprise, all four ponies had paused for a moment, frozen in surprise. I looked up, a spoonful of grits hovering in the air.

“Er, everythin’ alright?” I asked, not noticing the subtle change. Applejack blinked and tilted her head for a moment in confusion. Eventually, it was Apple Bloom who asked the question.

“What just happened to your voice, Blade Star?” she asked curiously. “Last night ya sounded kinda like Pipsqueak, and now ya kinda sound like Big Macintosh.” Ah, this old party trick. I felt relieved that I hadn’t inadvertently committed some pony faux pas.

You see I, along with my mum and a few people on her side of the family, have this odd little quirk. If you put me near someone with a noticeable accent for a long period of time, say a couple hours or so, my own accent will subconsciously change, along with my syntax and general mannerisms. I don’t know why it happens, but I certainly don’t do it intentionally, and once it starts it’s pretty hard to get it to stop. I had, to my surprise, been mimicking the southern drawl of the Apples on and off since I got up. I quickly explained this, much to the amusement of the Apples.

“Well, that there is one mighty strange parlour trick ya got there, sugarcube,” Applejack declared. Big Mac and Granny Smith agreed, while Apple Bloom just seemed interested.

“Ah can try to keep a lid on it if it makes y’all uncomfortable.” I offered meekly, but this was quickly turned down by Applejack, who reminded us of that old phrase; ‘imitation is the sincerest form of flattery’.

After that, the five of us settled down to breakfast again, chatting about what we were all going to be doing today. As I went, I tried to listen to my own voice and to get an idea of what I sounded like. Apple Bloom wasn’t quite correct in saying that I sounded like her brother. No matter how much my voice changes, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to mimic that baritone. The best comparison I can give is that it was similar to Braeburn, though not quite as soft in the inflection. Eventually, I stopped paying it any mind, since it didn’t seem to bother anypony, and returned to my breakfast.

After we’d all finished, and I’d insisted on helping Granny Smith with the washing up much to her chagrin, Applejack, Big Macintosh, and I prepared to head out into the fields. Apple Bloom meanwhile headed off to the schoolhouse. That actually surprised me. Apple Bloom was still just a little filly, but here in Ponyville, it was seen as being perfectly safe for her to walk there and back on her own. But then again, this is also a place where ponies seldom if ever lock their doors.

Granny Smith meanwhile, after putting all the dishes, bowls, and utensils away, briefly turned and addressed me.

“Well, thanks for all your help, young’un,” she said in her kindly way as she smiled up at me. “It sure will be nice to have some extra hooves on the farm, what with Applebuck Season startin’.”

Ah, Applebuck Season. If I remember rightly, that was the first episode I ever saw. Each year, the whole farm had to be harvested as the trees all bore their fruit. And given the size of the farm, it would be a lot of work for the three of us. I smiled inwardly as I remembered the episode in question, and how Applejack, in her bull headed way, had tried to do the whole harvest herself after Big Mac was injured. Perhaps, in light of that experience, she was now more willing to accept a bit of help.

Granny Smith then walked into the front room and promptly fell asleep in her rocking chair, snoring loudly. That just left the three of us to quietly sneak out without waking her.

I followed Applejack out into the yard, with Big Mac following close behind. The stallion’s attitude seemed to be pretty much the same as it had been last night. He didn’t do anything, or even really say anything, but there was something in his body language and the way he looked at me that said ‘I’m keeping my eye on you’. As we headed out, Applejack explained what was happening.

“Okay, Blade Star,” she said. “Here’s how this is gonna work. We’re gonna work our way around all the orchards on the farm in one big circle. We’ll start out easy today and work on the eastern side of the farm. Ah reckon that if we can finish harvesting that side of the farm, we’ll be able to wrap things up by Sunday.”

“Sounds like a plan, AJ,” I replied. “How do ya want to organise us? Work in a team or each have our own section?” Applejack gestured to the seemingly endless rows of trees.

“All the orchards on the farm are pretty orderly like. And there are about a dozen or so rows in this section. If we each take four and work our way through, we should each have about the same amount of work to do. We’ll stop for a break at noon when it gets too hot, start up again at around three, and then finish come sundown.” I nodded in understanding. Applejack then turned to her older brother.

“Big Mac, y’all can take the four rows nearest the farmhouse, Ah’ll take the middle four, and Blade Star can take the furthest section.”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac answered. Again, he gave me something of a sidelong glance; evidently he was still sizing me up.

Before the three of us actually started on the trees, we first headed to one of the many smaller barns that were dotted about the farm. Applejack told me that these were used for storage, to save having to take everything all the way back to the farm house when we were actually applebucking. We soon came across one of these smaller barns, nestled amid the orchard we planned to clear today.

Big Mac lifted the wooden bar on the door and opened it up. Inside, it was mostly empty, with the exception of a few bales of hay and a couple dozen or so wooden buckets stacked on top of each other. It was these that we’d be needing.

You see, applebucking works in a set of stages. The first thing you have to do, before you can even think about taking a swing at the tree, is set up the buckets around it to catch the falling apples. This was easier than picking them all up one by one and saved quite a bit of time too. Once these were all set up, then you could actually clear the tree. A few hits later, and after checking that there were no hangers on still on the branches, and none that had missed the buckets, you had to haul them all back to the barn; hence why those smaller barns were built all over the place. The buckets could them be dumped into the carts that were also stored in the barn. And at the end of the day, we’d use those carts to take everything back to the main barn at the farmhouse, and from there, they’d be taken into town to be sold. So you can see why clearing four rows of trees on my own could be expected to take the better part of a day.

Mac hauled out three of the carts and left them outside. I noticed that each actually had a tow hook on the back, meaning that, if need be you could connect the carts together like a train.

We each then picked out four buckets. They were actually quite large and difficult to move about easily. I’ve never been the strongest person around, and it was a little taxing to pull the things even when they were empty. Still, I wasn’t about to start complaining about it. Stacking all four on top of each other, I followed the example of the two more experienced farmers and hauled the four buckets out to the orchard. It was here that we’d be splitting up somewhat to work on our own sections. So Applejack gave me a quick rundown on the subject of applebucking.

As a human, there was no way I could ever hope to accomplish much hitting the trunk of an apple tree with my feet, aside from possibly fracturing my ankles in the process. As a pony though, a strong buck from my hind legs probably had enough force behind it to do serious damage to someone. After all, I remember when I was much younger, a friend of mine had had to be flown to hospital by the air ambulance when she was thrown from her horse and it kicked her. So, it was of little surprise that I now could knock apples out of trees.

Of course, there was a bit of magic tied into the bargain as well. I probably would never be as good as Applejack or Big Mac, simply because I lacked the innate earth pony magic that gave them their unusual strength, stamina, and an innate connection to the land. Still, Applejack assured me that I’d still be able to do my fair share of work. The last thing I wanted was to be holding up the harvest.

Applejack led me over to the first tree I was lined up to clear and helped me set up the buckets around it.

“Alright, sugarcube,” she began. “First things first; when ya set your baskets down for the apples, try and put ‘em under where the apples are all bunched together in the tree. It’ll save time pickin’ up the few strays that miss.”

Following her direction, and using a combination of my hooves and teeth (despite my continued attempts, I hadn’t been able to get my own unicorn magic to do much), I placed the buckets in position around the tree, looking up into the branches to check that they were all roughly lined up. Applejack nodded in approval.

“Okay, now the real trick with applebuckin’ is findin’ the sweet spot in the tree,” she went on. “Every tree on the farm is just a mite different, but they all have one spot on the trunk that, if hit just right, will knock pretty much every apple off its branch. It’s easier for me and Big Mac, since we’ve been at it for a few years; it takes time to learn the right technique. So don’t worry if it takes a few kicks to get every last apple. And we do need every last apple, sugarcube. There’s nothin’ worse than leaving a perfectly good apple to rot away. Anyway, once you’re sure you’ve got everythin’, ya can haul your baskets back to the barn and put all the apples in the carts, and start all over again. Ya with me so far?”

“Yeah, Ah think so, Applejack,” I replied, nodding, and eager to start. Applejack smiled wryly and pushed her hat a little way back on her head, before stepping back and gesturing to the first tree.

“Alrighty then,” she said. “Let’s see what ya got.”

With everything set to go, I walked over to the first tree as Applejack and Big Mac looked on. Turning around, I practiced half kicking out a couple of times, since lashing out like this messed with my sense of balance somewhat, I needed to shift my centre of gravity over to my forelegs. With that done, I took a breath and kicked out…hard.

My rear hooves slammed into the tree with a solid thwack. The impact was a lot like swinging a golf club, and feeling it connect with the ball on a solid drive. Luckily, I’d kept my legs slightly bent at the knee to avoid the impact shooting up along my joints. Still, it was a fairly strong impact.

The trunk of the tree shook, as did all the branches, which quivered slightly. A moment or two later, the apples started to fall, one, two, three, then a fair stream of them. The surrounding buckets quickly took in their fill, though a few missed or bounced off the rim, landing on the ground. Looking up into the tree, there were still plenty of apples left to go, but for a first attempt, I seemed to have done pretty well.

Applejack let out a low whistle of approval, while Big Mac nodded slightly and continued to watch my efforts in silence.

“Well Ah’ll be; that ain’t half bad, sugarcube,” Applejack congratulated me, throwing a foreleg over my shoulders. “Another couple kicks like that and ya can start hauling the baskets back to the barn.

That made me smile, and stroked my ego a bit. I’d have been a bit embarrassed if all my efforts came to nothing. And while I didn’t have AJ’s knack for clearing a whole tree with one kick and not missing a single apple, I was still able to do enough to earn both her and her brother’s approval.

A couple more solid hits into the tree and Applejack agreed that it was cleared. Picking up the remaining apples off the ground by their stem in my mouth, I finished piling all the produce into the buckets. I now had to haul them off to the barn and place them in the cart. Applejack and her brother meanwhile, satisfied with my ability to do the work, set off to make a start on their own sections of the orchard.

The trip back to the barn seemed longer. The buckets were all noticeably heavier with their cargo, but try as I might, I couldn’t convince my unicorn magic to lend a hand. Still, it was probably just as well, since I knew that Applejack, while willing to see unicorn magic used if needed, preferred to avoid it if at all possible, relying on the more subtle innate earth pony magic of her own tribe.

So, by the time I reached the barn and had loaded the apples into the first cart, I was already working up a sweat. My body, which had exercised precisely once in its lifetime, protested greatly against this sudden taxation and exertion. Still, I pressed on, with a stubbornness not too dissimilar to Applejack’s. As I took the empty buckets back to the orchard, I laughed to myself as I remembered Applejack’s attempt to do all this by herself. I could easily understand why she was worn out in the end.

That pretty much set the tone for the rest of the morning. All in, I’d say there were the better part of thirty trees that I had to clear. It was damn hard work, and as Celestia’s sun rose higher and higher, and the temperature grew hotter and hotter, it became even more tiring. But we all pressed on, I even began to get into my stride and by tree number seven, it was no longer as painful, or at least I’d gotten used to it. I got into a good routine and actually began to enjoy the work. I actually like simple, repetitive jobs; it gives me time to think and reflect.

As I came to the end of the first row of trees, I found Big Mac, who was undoubtedly well ahead of me, waiting for me. The imposing red stallion looked over my progress with a practiced eye. Then, ever so subtly, he turned to me and nodded in approval, evidently satisfied with my work so far. This quiet gesture of respect hopefully signalled an easing of tension between us; it was a start in any case. He then returned to his own work as quietly as he had come, passing Applejack on his way back.

I was about halfway done, and sweat was all but streaming down my sides, when Applejack came over, announcing a halt for lunch. Honestly, I felt like collapsing in a heap. I’d hit a wall in my endurance about half an hour ago and had been running on empty ever since. Only my damn pride had kept me going, though I’m sure that if I’d kept going, the heatstroke would have taken that right out of me.

The three of us took all the buckets back to the barn and emptied what we had into the carts. As a humanitarian gesture, Mac hitched all three carts together behind him and took them to the farmhouse, leaving Applejack and me to follow.

“That’s not a bad bit of work for your first time out, sugarcube,” Applejack said as we walked. “Though ya really ought to pace yourself this afternoon, this ain’t a race after all, and we don’t expect ya to keep up all the time. Better to take a rest once in a while than end up in front of Nurse Redheart.” I laughed hollowly and smiled up at Applejack. My head was currently low to the ground as I tried to catch my breath.

“Sure, AJ,” I replied. “Ah’ll…Ah’ll keep that in mind.” I paused to wipe a few beads of sweat off of my forehead; my mane was already pretty matted too and I found myself wishing for a freak snowstorm or a lunar eclipse, anything to blot out that blazing sun.

“Anyway,” Applejack continued, far less affected by the strain than I was. “Let’s head on back to the house, get some ya some water and a decent lunch. Then we can rest up for a couple hours before we head back to work.” I nodded in understanding.

“Fair enough. Hey, do ya mind if Ah head into town to check on my folks?”

“Course not, sugarcube. Just make sure ya get a good rest, and be back here before we start workin’ again.”

“Sure.”

A little while later, I was feeling pretty bloated. Like an idiot, as soon as we’d got back, I’d gone and drank the better part of a full bucket of water. Add to that lunch, which at that point my body was also furiously demanding, and I felt a few stones heavier. Still, with any luck, walking it off would be the best solution. And since I wanted to check up on my parents and Lizzie, that seemed like the best thing to do.

So, promising Applejack that I’d be back well in time for when work started up again in about an hour or so, I started on my way back to Ponyville. That was actually the first time I’d walked that road in the daytime. I have to say, it looks much prettier in the twilight hours, but at least it was easier to see where I was going. Following the dirt road, I soon found myself coming across landmarks that were at least vaguely familiar, it would be a while before I was fully confident about finding my way.

Still, it wasn’t too much trouble to find Town Hall and the large statue of Celestia; I could find my way from there without too much trouble. The market was set up today, although since we were all busy with Applebuck Season, Sweet Apple Acres didn’t have its usual stall up and running. Still, the place was animated as ever, with a hundred and one different things being bought and sold and haggled over. And then of course, there were all the shops, including the ridiculous ‘Quills and Sofas’. How that store has managed to stay in business, I have no idea. And don’t get me started on how it has branches all over Equestria.

Following the semi-familiar route, I soon found myself on the right road and walking toward the library. As the old treehouse came into view, I thought it looked rather quiet, as a library should, I suppose. That assumption however, was promptly broken by what happened next.

With a startling bang, like a clap of thunder, and a sudden discharge of thick black smoke, the library briefly disappeared. As it cleared, I saw that the source of the smoke was coming from beneath the trees roots; that meant the basement. And before I knew it my once unsteady walk had turned into a trot, the trot turned into a canter, and the canter turned into a full on gallop.

Chapter 8 - The Result of Years of Research

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As I reached the library, I pulled up short and examined the situation. The smoke had subsided quite a bit by this point. However, there was still a little bit coming from between the roots. Still, there didn’t seem to be any signs of fire or anything to suggest to whole place was about to come down. And after all, the place had survived being catapulted into the air at one point. I doubt anything short of a sustained, high power blast of undirected magic could even scratch the place.

My first thought was, understandably, for my parents, both of whom I knew were inside. Running for the door, I attempted to open it and barge my way in. But that attempt was short lived, as the door held firm; the place was locked up.

Normally, that would come as a surprise, for a library to be locked up during the daytime. But since Twilight had both my parents in there, and since we’d all agreed that it was best to keep their presence a secret for the time being, it should not have come as a surprise.

Still, being unable to get in and check that neither my parents, nor Twilight and Spike were hurt worried me, so I banged on the locked door with both my front hooves.

“Twilight?! Spike?!” I called out. “Are you in there?!”

Getting no reply only inflated my worry. My thoughts turned to darker places, and the idea that they might now all be lying injured as a result of whatever had happened. So, I endeavoured to force my way inside

Now, as a rule, unless the door is made of paper, I would have no chance of kicking it in without or doing myself an injury. Even the police back home didn’t kick doors in; they used what they called ‘The Big Red Key’; a one man battering ram that made light work of anything that wasn’t PVC. I didn’t have a Big Red Key, but I did have two solid back hooves.

Turning around, I kicked out at the wooden door as if I were kicking a tree back on Sweet Apple Acres. The door didn’t stand up to it. With a sharp clang as the lock gave way, the door burst open, swinging back on its hinges after banged against the wall.

Running inside, I found the library in quite a state. It looked like a bomb had gone off. All the tables had been overturned, books had been scattered all over the place, and even the odd window had been blown out. Rainbow Dash herself couldn’t have made a worse job crashing into the place when she was practising her stunts and tricks. But worse still, there was no sign of anyone, human, pony, or otherwise.

I quickly found my way to the basement door, and I was about to check for heat on the other side, when it too burst open and a slightly overdone alicorn emerged, a singed dragon following her. Still, they both looked relatively unharmed.

Twilight coughed a couple times as she walked out, putting a hoof to her head. I fell back on the St. John’s training from when I was younger and went to check on her.

“Twilight! Are you alright? What happened?” I asked, checking her over for anything more serious than a singed feather. The alicorn seemed quite shaken up, and coughed a couple more times before replying.

“I was…” Another cough. “Trying to open the rift in the library, to see if I could find you and your family a way back. But it destabilised and collapsed.” Spike stood behind her, with singed scales, and clutching at his tail like a child does a stuffed animal.

“What about my parents?” I asked, who I noticed hadn’t yet come up. Twilight was quick to reassure me.

“They’re okay,” she answered. “I managed to put a shield around us. It held back most of the blast. Though I can’t say the same for the library.”

“Aw, heck,” Spike exclaimed. “It’s gonna take ages to put everything back where it belongs.” Twilight laughed a little.

“That can wait, Spike,” she replied. “Let’s fix ourselves up first.” She began to lead him off toward the upstairs.

I meanwhile headed down into the basement the pair had just come from. There was still a little bit of smoke hanging around, but not enough to obscure my vision, or interfere with breathing. The basement was in even worse shape than upstairs. A good chunk of Twilight’s scientific equipment had been either damaged heavily or completely knocked out. Still, the place seemed to be holding together well enough. Aside from a lot of burn marks and soot damage, the place looked to be in good shape.

I didn’t know much about fires or explosions, apart from the odd bit I picked up from TV shows. But I did recognise a void when I saw one. In the centre of the room, not too far from the foot of the stairs, there was a single spot of untouched floor. Something had been there to protect it from the light and heat of the explosion, and whatever that was, was now gone. Presumably, that was where Twilight had tried to create her opening before it came unstuck.

A little way past that were my parents, both unhurt, but a little shaken up just as Twilight and Spike were. I quickly rushed over to them, and hugged both of them, propping myself up on my hind legs and wrapping my forelegs around them.

“Oh thank Celestia,” I exclaimed. “Are you both okay?”

“We’re both fine, son,” my dad replied, returning my hug. I dropped back down to my hooves. “Twilight threw up some kind of force field; it took the brunt of the bang before it collapsed.” I quickly ushered them up the stairs.

“C’mon, let’s get you both back upstairs. I’m sure Twilight has a first aid kit around somewhere.” My parents both followed me up the stairs, their steps careful and a little hesitant.

“It makes you realise how powerful this pony magic is,” my mum said as we ascended. “The last time I felt a bang like that, I was in Birmingham when the paddy’s set their bomb off.”

“Could be worse,” I replied. “When Twilight first used her magic as a filly, she turned both her parents into potted plants and turned Spike from an egg into a fully grown dragon. It took Princess Celestia herself to get her under control.” Dad laughed.

“Heh, remind me not to tick you off when you start to use your magic.” Smiling, I shook my head.

“No, Dad, Twilight’s a magical prodigy. Even if I do get my magic working, the best I’ll be able to do is probably pick things up with it, and even then, probably not things that weigh too much. Assuming of course, I get it working before we get home.”

The three of us then reached the threshold and came back out into the library proper. My parents both went upstairs to catch their breath. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was almost time for me to head back to Sweet Apple Acres, so I made for the door. And I would have done so, were it not for one terrifying entity blocking my path.

An angry Twilight Sparkle.

Her wings were flared out, her ears pressed back, her nostrils flaring, and her eyes seemed to boring a hole right through my skull; I was in trouble.

“Blade Star!” she exclaimed angrily. “What in the world did you do to my front door?!”

Oh, that. I guess in the heat of the moment, and the equally sudden relief at finding everyone inside unharmed, I forgotten about my little breaking and entering. Leaning around the mad alicorn I looked at the damage.

It was pretty bad at a glance. The door had been locked when I’d hit it, and as it was forced open, the bolt had pulled away a good chunk of the door frame. The door too had taken quite the pounding, with two new horseshoe shaped marks on the front, and a fair bit of damage on the back, caused when it swung back on its hinges and hit the wall. I was no builder, but I’d say that the thing would need to be replaced, along with a fair bit of repair work to the doorframe.

I wilted in front of the alicorn, feeling suitably embarrassed and guilty over my actions.

“Oh, heck, I’m sorry, Twilight,” I replied awkwardly, scratching at the back of neck with a hoof. “I guess I kinda kicked your front door in after I saw the explosion. I thought you and my parents might be hurt.”

In hindsight, it was a stupid move; the result of panic. In addition to thoroughly ruining Twilight’s front door, I had also potentially placed myself in danger. If anything serious had happened, what would I have done? With no training in either firefighting, or real lifesaving beyond bandaging cuts and splinting arms, I would have been of little use, and possibly gotten myself hurt for my trouble.

Twilight however, seemed to cool her temper a little at my response. While the execution was flawed, my intentions were good at least. After all, how would she have reacted if she saw her parent’s house suddenly start spewing out smoke? I’ll wager more than a few bits that she’d go charging in with just as much foolhardiness as I.

“Well,” she said, in a far quieter tone. “I suppose I can’t really blame you for that. But…er…did you have to kick it that hard?” I smiled awkwardly again.

“You can blame Applejack teaching me applebucking all morning for that.” I answered light heartedly. I was about to go on, when Dad called from upstairs.

“Twilight!” he called down. “It looks like that explosion has drawn a bit of a crowd. There’s a whole load of ponies gathering outside the library.” The two of us looked outside.

He was right. Given that the explosion was pretty loud, it was to be expected that half the town would come looking to see what was going on. At a rough guess, I’d say there were the better part of thirty ponies out front. I happened to glance at the clock; I needed to get a move on if I was to get back to Sweet Apple Acres in time.

“I think you better head out there and allay their fears, Twilight,” I suggested. “I promised Applejack I’d be back at her farm in ten minutes to get back to work. But I promise I’ll come back this evening and help fix things.” I began to walk away, when Twilight called me back.

“Pinkie Promise,” she ordered, half sternly. Laughing slightly, I did the required motions as I spoke.

“I Pinkie promise that I’ll come back this evening to help you repair your front door. Cross my heart and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my…ow!” Like a fool, I neglected to close my eye before I poked it. Twilight laughed at my plight. Shaking my head and blinking a few times to clear my vision, I reiterated myself.

“I’ll be there this evening, Twilight. So long!”

With that, I started back for the farm. Though I could have sworn I heard someone out there whispering ‘forever’, and I could feel a pair of unseen eyes watching me all the way back to the farm.

I had to keep up a fair pace back through town and headed toward Sweet Apple Acres. I had planned on checking on Fluttershy and Lizzie that afternoon as well. But given all that had happened, I now had very little time left, so that would have to be put off for another day. The town clock began to strike the hour just as I passed through the farm’s gates, and I broke into a gallop in order to reach the farmhouse.

I found both Applejack and Big Mac a little ways off from the house and farmyard, near a small grove of apple trees. Applejack was reclining against the tree, her hat tilted forward over her eyes and her hind legs crossed over each other, with her forelegs behind her head. For a quadruped, it was a remarkably human position; something I would have more expected from Lyra, assuming of course anything I thought I knew about her was true. As for Big Mac, he was lying down in the grass more after the fashion of a horse or dog, with his forelegs tucked under his front. From his mouth, there protruded a long wheat stalk, which he was contentedly chewing on. Both ponies roused themselves and looked up as I came back at a pace somewhere between canter and gallop.

“Well hey there, Blade Star,” Applejack greeted, pushing her Stetson back into its usual place on her head. “You’re just in time to get back to work.”

I pulled up, huffing and panting somewhat from my run back to the farm. Even in this new pony body, it seemed that general fitness was not my strong point.

“Say, you alright, sugarcube?” Applejack asked as she noticed my fatigue. I paused to wipe a bead of sweat from my forehead.

“Sorry, AJ,” I replied, slipping into my mimicry of her accent again. “Ah didn’t wanna get back late and make you two wait up.” I briefly explained what had happened at the library, and how I was now obliged to go back and help Twilight with repairs. Applejack let out a low whistle.

“Sounds like ya had quite an adventure, sugarcube,” she declared. “Ya think ya can manage the work on your own?”

Actually, I didn’t. Well, no, I could do the work. But more than likely, the sun would have risen on the next day before I’d finished. I was an academic, and not particularly practical, though I did know a bit about woodwork and the like. Still, my stubborn pride wasn’t about to let me admit that.

“Ah reckon so, AJ,” I replied simply.

Now, it was at this juncture that I think Applejack’s position as the Element of Honesty shone through, and she quickly saw through my words, although she was kind enough not to rub salt in the wound.

“Well, Ah ain’t busy this evenin’,” she said. “Ah reckon Ah might come along an’ join ya. Ya can borrow my tools as well.”

I was glad of help on that front. Strangely though, I heard Big Mac snort as he got to his hooves. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of that.

“Anyway,” I went on. “What’s on this afternoon, AJ?” The orange earth pony gestured for me to follow her.

With Big Mac following behind us, we headed back to where we had last left off in the orchards. Stopping at the barn, we all took up the large baskets and hauled them out to where we’d left off.

“Ah’d say we made some good progress so far today,” Applejack said as we neared the orchard and prepared to split off to tend to our own sections. “If we can clear out this section of the farm today, we might even be able to take it easier tomorrow.”

“Nnope.” Big Mac called from his position a little ways behind us. Evidently he wasn’t a fan of slacking off.

Reaching the orchards, the three of us parted, still within shouting distance, but not really close enough to talk.

The afternoon was just as trying for me as the morning was. Even though the midday had passed and the sun was now steadily setting in the sky, it was still very hot. Equestria’s climate I guess, at least the centre of the country, I don’t know about the rest, isn’t that dissimilar to that of the mid-western states. So, while most Americans would probably take things in their stride, I found it a touch warm, having been used to cold, overcast days, with summer weather rarely topping twenty degrees Celsius.

As I steadily worked my way through my section of trees, getting into something of a rhythm, I felt myself begin to sweat again, with the runoff trickling down my sides and matting my mane around my horn. Applejack and Big Mac were in the same boat, though not quite as much as I. I was paying dearly for my lack of physical exercise for the last…few years.

“Keep at it, sugarcube,” Applejack called out encouragingly as we both met at the end of a row. “This right here is the worst part of the day. It’ll drop cooler soon enough, just you wait.” That did perk my spirits up a bit, as did the fact that I was more or less either keeping pace with the two Apples’ or only falling a little way behind.

The afternoon kept on in its monotony of applebucking, hauling full baskets to the barn, and then dragging them back to do it all over again. However, there was one other incident that stood out.

As I’d been working, I’d been slowly moving from Applejack’s side of the field over toward Big Mac’s. The stallion still remained somewhat impassive, and perhaps just a little cold toward me, being far less chatty than his little sister and occasionally giving me a sideways glance. However, that seemed to change when the two of us both began hauling a set of filled baskets back to the barn at the same time.

I’d just finished clearing the last but one tree on that particular row, and Mac was one more ahead on his. I’d taken to using a length of rope as a makeshift yoke, rather than pushing the basket with my head as Applejack did. It didn’t make the work much easier, but it was a bit painful on the neck.

As I drew up alongside Big Mac, I noticed the big red stallion pause and watch me for a moment. I’d noticed that he’d do this every now and again the whole day. The expression on his face was a little more readable; it was as if he was deciding something, or turning something over in his mind. As I passed him, hauling what felt like the thousandth basket of the day, I saw him seemingly come to a decision. He smiled slightly and nodded his head toward me, nothing more, nothing less. After that though, I noticed his watch became far less relaxed and the cold looks stopped. Perhaps his view of me was changing a bit. I’d come in as a stranger, but so far, I’d proven that I could do the work and earn my keep without complaint.

So, the three of us continued to toil away in the slowly declining heat. Still, it was very quiet, aside from the continuous thud from one of us making contact with a tree, and the occasional grunt from some effort. I’d always found some enjoyment in singing or whistling when doing something physical like this for long hours. I’m not a brilliant singer, but forced attendance to church, and growing up in rural Wales, which is full of choirs, had given me a better singing voice than the average. I had quite a good repertoire too, mostly campfire songs from re-enactment camps. I picked one of these out now.

Tis old Stonewall the rebel that leans on his sword.

And while we are mounting prays low to the Lord.

Now each cavalier that loves honour and right,

Let him follow the feather of Stuart tonight.

Come tighten your girth and slacken your rein,

Come buckle your blanket and holster again.

Try the click of your trigger and balance your blade,

For he must ride sure that goes riding a raid.

“What song’s that, Blade Star?” Applejack called, trotting over to me. Pausing in my own work, I turned to her.

“Oh, just an old cavalry song, Applejack.” I replied. Applejack’s face became puzzled.

“Cavalry?” she asked. “What’s that then, some kind of music?” I laughed slightly. Of course, ponies wouldn’t really have much of a concept of mounted soldiers.

So I took a minute or two to explain the concept. She and her brother were both surprised at the idea of humans riding on horses, although Mac agreed that it did make sense.

“Ah s’pose it’s kinda like pegasus ponies,” he said. “They’re faster and more manoeuvrable than other folks.” I nodded in agreement.

“Exactly. Cavalry would be used to scout ahead of an army, or to harass an enemy.”

“You sure know a heck of a lot about all this stuff, sugarcube,” Applejack said, pushing her Stetson back on her head. “So what, were ya like a guard or somethin’ back home?” This time I laughed more heartily.

“Good God no, Applejack!” I exclaimed. “Ah learned about all that stuff at school; history. Cavalry went the way of the dodo almost a century ago.”

As we continued to work, I kept up with the odd song, even teaching Mac and Applejack a chorus from a couple of them. It helped the day pass at a quicker rate, or so it seemed. The temperature too began to drop, making work more comfortable. Granted, my muscles were still aching from the work, but I was willing to power through that.

Eventually, with the sun low, and having all reached the end of our assigned sections, Applejack called a final halt to the working day. And with a profound sense of relief, I followed the Apple siblings back along the path to the farmhouse.

We reached the farmhouse just as the sun was dipping below the horizon, painting the sky a mix of reds and golds, while higher up, the sky began to turn a darker shade of blue. As the three of us drew up, Granny Smith came out to meet us, a large metal triangle in her hooves. Without warning, she suddenly began to beat the thing mercilessly.

“Soup’s on, everypony!” she called out over the racket. I expected that she could have been heard a quarter of a mile away. Sadly, Applejack, Big Mac, and I were just a few paces off.

We all shook our heads and rubbed out ears in an effort to get the ringing to stop, which persisted long after Granny Smith had laid down her instrument. Following the elderly green mare, we all headed through into the kitchen, where dinner was waiting.

Apple Bloom was already sitting at the table, having got back from school a few hours ago. She seemed glad to see that I was still here and had more than a few questions. I was able to explain that I would be here at least until Saturday morning, when I’d have to head up to Canterlot. The five of us then sat down for our meal.

“So, how d’ya take to your first day of applebuckin’, sugarcube?” Applejack asked innocently, smiling.

“Not too bad Ah think,” I answered. “Sure, Ah was a mite out of my depth, but Ah think Ah held my own.”

“Eeyup.” Big Mac trumpeted, agreeing with me. He turned to his grandmother. “Granny, this here colt might be new to farmin’, but he learns mighty fast and gives it all he’s got.”

I was quite surprised at the sudden testimony from him. While he seemed to have settled down to my presence, I didn’t expect him to have quite such a turnaround in his opinion of me.

“So what’s happenin’ this evenin then?” Apple Bloom asked. “Can ya help me with my math homework, Applejack?” AJ shook her head.

“Sorry, sis,” she replied. “But me and Blade Star have to head on over to Twilight’s tonight, help her replace her front door.”

“Oh, so that’s what that noise was.” Apple Bloom said to herself.

“Besides,” Applejack went on. “Ya know your brother’s better suited to them fancy mathematics than Ah am.” Mac rolled his eyes at that.

After dinner, I took the brief opportunity to bed down and catch forty winks before heading out with Applejack to the library. She appeared in the doorway decked out in a full tool belt with enough kit to possibly consider building a small kitchen extension. I knew a bit about DIY; after all, as a wise man once said:

‘Take these three items right here. WD-40, vice grips, and some duct tape. Any man worth his salt can do half the household chores with just those three things.’

Still, I wasn’t too sure about all this, and was privately glad for Applejack’s help. As we made our way to Twilight’s in the…well, twilight, I chatted with AJ about what I knew about DIY, along with what had happened at the library that afternoon.

“Yeah, that’s Twilight for ya, sugarcube,” she said, laughing. “But in my experience, something going up in smoke like that usually means she’s on to somethin’. With any luck she’ll be able to get y’all home in no time.”

“Ah sure hope so,” I replied, then hastily adding. “Not that Ah ain’t grateful for your hospitality.”

“Shucks,” Applejack replied. “Ah’m just grateful to have another set of hooves to help out on the farm. It’s nice to have some company beside your own kin once in a while.” She turned and smiled at me.

I was actually a little surprised at how accepting Applejack had been of me, considering that I’d only been in Equestria for a couple of days. Given her more conservative leanings, I’d have expected her to be a little more suspicious, at least at first, just as Rainbow Dash had been. But instead, she already felt like an old friend. I couldn’t help but feel that it would be an awful shame if we did end up departing on Saturday.

Before long we came upon the library. The lights were on and Spike was sitting outside waiting for us, reading one of his comic books. By the looks of things, Twilight had managed to get the door to close most of the way, but the clean fracture across it meant that there was no use in it anymore. Hence, the lengths of wood balanced on our backs. We’d build the thing from scratch and then simply attach it to the existing hinges, since it was only the wood that had splintered.

As we set our materials and tools down on the soft grass, Twilight trotted out to join Spike, a pot of tea held in her magic. She was a little surprised to see Applejack, but soon agreed that it would be a good idea for her to lend a hoof. At least if she wanted a new front door before next week. The young alicorn had already taken her own look at the door and drawn up a little plan of how to build a new one. It certainly saved us time, and let us construct a replica, rather than making a more traditional frame door that would have stood out next to the rest of the building.

For the next few hours, the three of us worked away, while Spike kept us supplied with tea and sandwiches. I actually wasn’t as bad as I thought I was, although using a hammer when holding it between my teeth was a bit tricky, and occasionally painful.

Before long, the new door was complete, and between the three of us, we were able to get it into position so that Applejack could replace the screws and attach it to the hinges. Much to our mutual surprise, we were able to reuse the handle and lock from the old door. When I’d kicked it open, it had simply busted though the frame of the door, without taking much in the way of damage, so it was still serviceable.

Satisfied with the result, the three of us parted ways, with AJ and I heading back to the farm for some well-earned rest. It was getting quite late after all, and we still had an early start tomorrow.

I’d found the little project quite enjoyable too; it was a chance to get to know both Twilight and Applejack in a more relaxed setting. Still, it felt strange somehow, talking to two ponies who I once thought to be pure fiction, and who were somewhat famous, at least among the fandom, it made me feel a bit more at home around the alicorn. I really was starting to like it here.

Chapter 9 - The Last Day?

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The next morning, the sun rose on what was potentially, if not ideally, my last day in Equestria. Tomorrow, the four of us, along with Twilight Sparkle, would be heading up to Canterlot to meet with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.

I woke up in fairly good time and promptly threw the covers off of me, before I had a chance to drift back into a peaceful slumber. Getting up, I trotted over to the window and took a look out at the farmyard below. The sun was just barely coming up over the horizon, coating everything in the greyish haze of a summer dawn. Already I could hear the sounds of the birds and insects beginning to stir.

Blinking a few times, I did my best to get the sleep out of my eyes; one of several tasks a hoof is not really suited to, even if my eyes are much larger now. I found myself once again irritated that I had no real access to magic. Perhaps before I left, Twilight might be able to teach me one or two things; just enough so that I could say that I was able to use magic in Equestria.

That brought my thoughts around to the impending visit to Canterlot. It had been exciting enough meeting Twilight and her friends, but the princesses? I was sure that they meant us no harm, but I couldn’t help but feel some trepidation at meeting Princess Celestia or her sister. Let’s face it, TV show or no, I knew them only by reputation. And then there was all the protocol to consider. Technically, we had made first contact with an alien race, and in twenty four hours, we’d be meeting their leader.

The highest up the food chain I’d ever gone was meeting a peer; Lord David Davies when Dad and I crossed paths with his hunt out in the back country. And he hardly asked that much respect; the man was as mad as a bloody march hare. In real terms, the most senior person in government I’d ever met was my MP, I knew very little about meeting a princess.

Well, that’s not quite true, I did know a little bit. Coming from a constitutional monarchy like Britain, you did learn some royal protocol, like addressing the Queen as her majesty and so on, but that didn’t really help here. For heaven’s sake, the show never explicitly stated what Celestia’s title was; as a princess she was ‘your highness’ but I’d heard even Twilight address her as ‘your majesty’. I suppose that’s what happens when you have a princess in the place of a queen.

I shook my head in an effort to clear my thoughts. It was unlikely Celestia would expect too much. As long as we were polite and respectful, I was sure we’d be fine. In any case, we’d cross that bridge when we came to it. Right now I had more important matters to attend to, like breakfast.

It was at that precise moment that Applejack came by to wake me up with a loud rap on my door.

“Blade Star?” she called out. “Are you awake yet?” I quickly called back.

“Yes, Applejack,” I replied. “Ah’ll be down stairs in a minute.” That odd accent was kicking in again. One of these days I’m going to find out why I do that; mimicking.

As I quickly made my bed, another task not really suited to hooves, I again felt compelled to laugh at myself over my nom de guerre. Even by pony standards ‘Blade Star’ did not sound natural. Well, it was too late to do much about that now, wasn’t it? And to be fair, I never particularly cared for my old name either.

Opening the door, I walked out into the hall. At the same moment, Applejack emerged from the bathroom opposite.

“Morning, Applejack,” I said with a smile. AJ smiled back, and for some odd reason I felt my face flush slightly.

“Mornin’, Blade Star,” she replied. “Ready to get to work?”

“Of course.”

The two of us walked down the hallway towards the stairs. I was looking forward to another decent breakfast.

It was then though, that a thought struck me. Every now and then, I’d have these moments where the minor practicalities of our strange situation would push themselves to the forefront of my mind. The notion of breakfast had just triggered one.

“What have my family been eating here?” I wondered out loud, no doubt confusing Applejack, who was just about to start down the stairs. She turned back to me and offered her signature raised eyebrow.

“Pardon?” she said, perplexed. I realised I’d been thinking out loud.

“Oh…er, nothing, Applejack,” I said with a wave of a hoof. “I was just wondering what my family had been eating since they got here. You see, humans are omnivorous; we eat both meat and plants. But ponies are herbivores. So I was wondering whether they were having a vegetarian diet or making do somehow.”

Technically, it would be just my parents. Lizzie was a vegan, and had been for a few years. While hay wouldn’t be particularly palatable to her, she’d be fine with the majority of pony foods. My parents would too of course. I was thinking more long term and what might happen if they didn’t all get enough protein in their diet. Dad had explained all this to Twilight when we first settled down in her library too. Being on Sweet Apple Acres, I hadn’t been around to see her solution.

And of course, it was no issue for me. This equine body was perfectly fine with hay, daisy sandwiches, and all of the other things that would be unsuitable for humans. In fact, dwelling upon it, I found that the thought of raw meat actually made me a touch uncomfortable, like nails on a chalkboard. I guess I’d have to temporarily give up the bacon sarnies.

Coming out of my reprieve, I realised that I’d been standing there like a fool for about half a minute. Applejack was looking just a little perplexed. Rousing myself, I quickly got back to the business at hoof; breakfast.

“Sorry, Applejack,” I apologised. “Got lost in thought.” Applejack let out a short laugh.

“Yeah, I thought ya might have,” she replied. “C’mon, let’s get some vittles’ in ya.”

The two of us walked down the stairs and soon found ourselves in the kitchen. Big Mac and Apple Bloom were both at the table already, while Granny Smith was busy attending to the stove. The three of them greeted me in their usual friendly way, apart from Big Mac, who simply nodded at me. His hostility towards me had lessened noticeably, which I was grateful for. I took my seat at the table next to Applejack and opposite young Apple Bloom. A moment later, Granny Smith set breakfast down in front of me.

“So, what’s on the agenda today, Applejack?” I asked, helping myself to a slice of toast and some jam, or jelly as the jar said; I guess I’ll have to get used to some of the Americanisms.

“We’re gonna be workin’ on the other side of the farm today, sugarcube,” Applejack explained. “It’s actually part of the original orchard from when the Apples’ first came out this way, so the trees are a mite bit tougher than before.”

“How so?”

“Well, the younger trees don’t tend to hold onto their fruit that much. A good strong buck from Mac or me will clear them out in one. These ones though are much tougher. Ya might find it a bit slow goin’ today.”

I hoped it wouldn’t be too bad. Given how out of shape I was, I’d been nearly exhausted yesterday, and now I was meant to deal with these ‘tougher’ trees. For a brief moment, I inwardly cursed myself for offering to help the Apples. A moment later though, I realised that was selfish and short sighted. If nothing else, the days would be long and slow if I wasn’t out helping in the fields.

“Ah’ll do my best to keep up with ya then, Applejack,” I replied. AJ then turned to her little sister.

“What about you, AB?” she asked, calling her sister by her nickname. “How are things at school?” At that, the little filly perked her ears.

“Aw shoot!” she exclaimed, her eyes going wide for a moment. “Ah almost forgot! Applejack, can Ah borrow a jar of Zap Apple Jam? I need it for show and tell today.” Applejack did her best to suppress a grin as she got up.

“Course, sugarcube,” she replied. Trotting over to a nearby kitchen cupboard, which I saw was damn near full of the stuff, she passed Apple Bloom a jar.

The little filly quickly took it and promptly stuffed it into her saddlebags. It was just before eight o’clock now; high time for the filly to be heading off to school. Seeing the time, Apple Bloom scoffed down her breakfast like a rabid timberwolf and quickly began to badger her grandmother to take her to school.

“Oh, hold yer darn horses,” the apple matriarch exclaimed at the filly. “Ah gotta clean these pans off first.”

“But, Granny, if we don’t go soon, Ah’m gonna be late again!” Apple Bloom protested. I saw an opportunity to lend a helping hoof, I was pretty much done with my own breakfast anyway.

“How ‘bout Ah take care of all that, Granny Smith?” I suggested helpfully. Applejack however intervened.

“Blade Star,” she said. “Y’all are our guest here. Ah got it.” I smiled and shook my head.

“No, Applejack,” I replied. “At present, Ah think Ah constitute a farmhand. Besides, it’s the least Ah can do for getting three square home cooked meals a day and a warm bed.” I trotted over to the sink, which was now full of pans, plates and dishes. Seeing that I wasn’t about to be persuaded, Applejack relented.

“Fine,” she said, adjusting her ponytail for a moment. “But Ah’ll lend a hoof too.” And so she joined me, helping to dry everything that I cleaned up. Faintly, behind me, I heard Big Mac let out a low growl of annoyance. I guess I wasn’t quite in his good books yet, and the fans were right about his protective nature.

Between the two of us, we made fairly quick work of cleaning the kitchen up after breakfast. The slight delay also gave Big Mac a chance to walk over to one of the storage barns and set everything up for today’s part of the harvest. I was actually a little surprised that he left the two of us ‘unsupervised’ as it were. Hopefully that was a sign that his initial distrust was starting to wear off.

Before too long, Applejack and I set out to join him in the orchards. As we walked through the rows of apple trees, bathed in the early dawn light, Applejack explained what we would be doing today.

“Okay, Blade Star,” she said as we made our way towards Big Mac. “Remember what Ah said; these trees are a mite bit harder to harvest than the younger ones we did yesterday. Take your time with each one, and be careful not to put too much power into your kick; you’ll most likely just hurt yourself.” I nodded in understanding.

“Got it, AJ,” I replied, calling her by her nickname.

“Ah’ll stay with ya for the mornin’ at least,” she went on. “Big Macintosh will do one row, and we’ll work on the other. That way, even if this does wear ya out a bit more than yesterday, you’ll have a chance to catch your breath. These trees may be tough, sugarcube, but there ain’t as many of them as the other orchards on the farm.”

It was at that moment, we rejoined Big Mac. The large, red stallion had already set his and our baskets around the first trees and was beginning to harvest his first. To my surprise, at his first strike, only a handful of apples dropped from the tree’s branches. It took two more solid hits before, after a careful check of the tree, Mac was satisfied and prepared to move on. Applejack certainly wasn’t kidding when she said that these trees would hang onto their fruit as if their life depended on it.

Following Applejack, we both came up to the first tree in the row. Big Mac had already set up the baskets for us, so it was just a simple matter of kicking them. I’d done fairly well for myself yesterday, and now could at least do a halfway decent buck. Still, based on the results of Mac’s efforts, I knew I was in for a bit of trouble.

I turned myself around as Applejack watched. After practising kicks a couple of times, I struck out at the tree. My hooves hit home with a solid thud. I’d remembered to keep a slight bend in my legs to prevent the shock reverberating up my legs, but I still found myself wincing a little from the impact it had on my hooves.

Turning around again, I examined the fruits, if you’ll pardon the pun, of my labour.

There was one apple in the nearest basket.

One.

That was it.

Off to the side, I heard Applejack attempting to stifle her laughter at my no doubt befuddled expression. Turning to her, I scowled slightly; I’ve never liked being laughed at, it brings back memories from high school, even if I knew she didn’t mean it in a cruel way. I did my best to play down my embarrassment.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Applejack,” I said with a very equine snort. Applejack managed to get her fit of giggles under control.

“Sorry, sugarcube,” she said, genuinely. “It was just the look on your face is all.”

“Okay then,” I replied, stepping to one side. “How about you have a go then?”

Applejack and I traded places, with her kicking out at the tree. Like me, she took a couple practice kicks to line up her strike, and then lashed out at the tree, actually causing the trunk to bow slightly from the impact. A few moments later, just under a dozen apples dropped into the baskets that surrounded the tree. AJ turned round with a slightly smug look and crossed one foreleg over the other as she leaned against the trunk, in an attempt to look relaxed.

“No fair,” I said, smiling back. “You’ve got the Earth Pony strength on your side.”

“And years of experience,” she added, flashing a smile. “Don’t worry, sugarcube; you’ll start to improve soon enough. By lunchtime, we’ll have you harvestin’ a tree almost as fast as Big Macintosh.”

“Nnope,” the red stallion remarked, as he moved onto the third tree in his row.

Applejack, as it turned out, was half right. We slowly but surely worked our way through the orchards, with the two of us switching roles at each tree, Applejack was, of course, far better at it then I was. I definitely took a bit longer to completely empty a tree of its apples than she did. However, as the morning wore on, I began to improve, finding that sweet spot between hitting the tree with too much force and not enough to dislodge the apples.

Despite the hard work, it was actually less exhausting than yesterday had been, since we were going at a slower pace. It was still tiring of course, but as the sun got closer and closer to the midday point, I was nowhere near as worn out as I had been the day before.

Since the two of us were working together, it wasn’t too long before the pair of us started chatting as we worked.

“So it just happens?” Applejack was saying. “Ya spend enough time around somepony and ya start mimicking them?” I kicked out at the trunk of the tree, prompting several apples to fall.

“Not always,” I replied in my Appalachian drawl. “It has to be fairly strong and distinct from my normal way of speakin’. And that Tennessee soundin’ accent of yours is plenty strong enough.”

“Tenna what?” Applejack asked. I realised that I was referring to a place that was just as foreign to AJ as Equestria was to me.

“Tennessee,” I repeated. “It’s part of another country back home. Your accent’s mighty similar to theirs.” Applejack thought as we traded places.

“I guess that makes sense though,” she said. “When ya first got here, ya sounded a bit like you were from Trottingham.”

“In fact,” I went on. “Y’all have quite a lot in common with the southern US. Right down to that there Stetson on your head. If ya went there, you’d most likely get along with the folks there.” Applejack began to haul away the filled baskets, with me following with the others.

“Well, sounds like our two worlds have a lot in common then,” she said, as we pushed the filled baskets over to the cart to haul them away, Applejack changed the subject.

“Blade Star, Ah know y’all are hopin’ to get home in a day or two, but if y’all do end up stuck here for a mite longer, ya know you’re welcome to stay here on the farm. Heck, havin’ an extra set of hooves around has gotten me thinkin’ ‘bout hirin’ an extra farmhand full time. The job’s yours if ya want it.” I was a little taken aback by her offer.

Of course, if we were stuck here for a while, it would be good to have at least one member of the family start earning some corn. AJ’s offer though got me thinking. What if we were stuck here? I found myself reflecting on my life back home. I’d recently finished university, and had been looking for work when all this happened. Now that I think about it, Blade Star BSc Econ (Hons) does have a nice ring to it. Plus I’d never have to worry about paying back my loans. If we were stuck here, I could now potentially step right into a steady job, a roof over my head, and a fairly bright future. Back home, while not bleak, my prospects had not been exactly brilliant. Like most people my age, I was stuck applying for job well below my qualifications to build up experience, and God knows how few jobs were going.

If my family wasn’t here, there’d be no question; I’d want to get home as fast as possible. But with things as they were, would it be so terrible if we were stranded here?

I shook myself out of my thoughts when I realised that I’d been standing there like a lemon, lost in thought. Besides, it was getting ahead of the game. For all I knew, tomorrow we’d all be back in Blighty.

“Thanks, AJ,” I said as we loaded up the cart. “Ah’d like that. Ah like workin’ with ya.”

I quickly realised, though still too late, that that last part could easily be misinterpreted by AJ. I quickly found myself blushing and backtracking, never mind thanking my lucky stars that Big Mac hadn’t overheard, for he was up at the other end of the orchard.

“Ah mean…what Ah meant to say was…er,” I hurriedly tried to correct myself. Applejack however, cut me off, putting a hoof to my lips.

“Relax, Blade Star,” she said, with a smile and a sparkle in her eye. “Ah like workin’ with ya too.”

Then, without telling me exactly what she meant by that, she cantered off to find her big brother to tell him that we were breaking for lunch. I was left standing there, blushing under my slate grey coat. After a few moments, I came to my senses, and followed the siblings back to the farmhouse.

While the Apple family sat down for lunch, I decided that, after grabbing a snack to keep my strength up, that I’d do a repeat of what I did yesterday and go visit my family, only this time, I’d go to see Lizzie, who was staying at Fluttershy’s cottage.

Heading down the dirt path, I soon found myself on the outskirts of the farm. I had a rough idea of where I was going; Fluttershy’s house was right on the edge of the Everfree Forest. In fact, we’d emerged not too far from there when we first got here. I wouldn’t need to go through Ponyville at all. All I needed to do was follow the path that led from Sweet Apple Acres to the edge of the forest. According to Applejack, that road would lead me right to Fluttershy’s home, adding that if I got lost, all I needed to do was find the small brook that ran near her house.

Now, normally, this would be no bother for me at all. I wasn’t an expert, but I could follow basic directions. In fact, back when I was in primary school, I’d been on a little orienteering course at one of those outdoor pursuits centres in the Welsh countryside. I hadn’t much cared for wandering through the forests looking for silly coloured stakes, but it had taught me basic map reading and navigation skills. At present however, my mind was on other matters, namely Applejack.

Now, I may be a fan of the show, but I never looked at ponies in that way. I might like or identify with some of the characters, but they were just fictional, and it’s hard to fall in love with someone who’s just a work of fiction that you’ve never met. But having spent a couple of days with the real Applejack I was…well, I wasn’t developing feelings for her per se, but I had grown to like her quite a bit. But I saw her as more of a friend, at least I was fairly certain I did; I’ve never really cared for romance, it’s never interested me at all if I’m honest.

Besides, it was more than likely, according to my mind, that it was all in my head. For goodness sake, I’d only known the mare a couple of days. And from what I’d seen in the show, AJ wasn’t the romantic kind either; that was more Rarity’s speciality. No matter what some strange part of my brain said, this wasn’t some ship fic, nor did I want it to be. I liked Applejack as a friend, and I wasn’t looking for anything else.

By the time I’d reached Fluttershy’s cottage, I’d decided to put the whole incident behind me, chalking it up to an overactive imagination. As I trotted across the familiar, yet new bridge over the brook that led to Fluttershy’s cottage, I felt myself calming down again, as my stomach stopped doing loops.

Fluttershy’s small, cosy home, evoked memories of Snow White, at least the 1940’s Disney version. While there was plenty of wildlife on Sweet Apple Acres, this place was positively teething with adorable critters, mostly birds and other small animals. Being a stranger, they mostly gave me a wide berth, but didn’t seem too afraid of me. I guess that’s one perk of no longer being an apex predator.

Trotting up the path, I rapped on the front door with a hoof. A moment later, the door opened a crack, evidently on the chain, revealing one of Fluttershy’s teal blue eyes.

I struggled not to keel over from the adorableness right then and there. If there is one thing the show didn’t demonstrate enough, it’s how adorable Fluttershy can be. She quickly recognised me.

“Oh, it’s you, Blade Star,” she said, in a quiet voice. Although, compared to the first time I ‘met’ her back in Season One, her voice had gotten louder, it was still only just above a whisper and positively endearing. Struggling not to physically say ‘d’awww’ at the sight, I greeted the mare.

“Hello there, Fluttershy,” I said kindly. “I was wondering if I could come in and talk to Lizzie for a little while.”

In response, Fluttershy briefly closed the door, unhooked the chain and then opened the door fully.

“Oh, certainly, Blade Star, she said sweetly, ushering me inside. “Come inside. We were just having tea together.”

The mention of tea jogged another little bit of fandom knowledge for me; Fluttershy’s newest friend, who also liked to drop in for tea every now and then. Warily, I looked around for the infamous Discord. Reformed or not, Equestria’s answer to Q was the last person I wanted me or my family to run into while we were here. Actually, for all I know, that psychotic trickster may even be responsible for all this. There’s a thought.

Luckily, no Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony was forthcoming. Walking into the living room off the hall, I found the place quiet, aside from Fluttershy’s pet rabbit, Angel. The bunny glared at me briefly before hopping over to his owner and jumping up onto her back. Lizzie was nowhere to be seen. I was about to ask Fluttershy where she was, when she walked over to the foot of the nearby stairs and answered the question for me.

“Lizzie,” she called up. “It’s okay. You can come out now. It’s your brother, Blade Star.”

I heard a door open somewhere upstairs, and a moment later, my little sister appeared. Fluttershy led the two of us over to one of the sofas where we all sat down to talk.

“So how have you been holding up, Lizzie?” I asked as Fluttershy poured us all some tea.

To my surprise, Lizzie actually seemed to have settled in quite well. She was a far cry from the scared girl I’d known just a couple of days ago. It seemed as though Fluttershy had really helped her, particularly when you remember that it had been just the two of them, with Mum and Dad up at Twilight’s library.

“I’ve been okay, I guess,” Lizzie replied, a little quietly. “I’ve been helping Fluttershy look after some of the animals when I can. It is getting a bit boring being stuck in here though, and having to hide upstairs when any of these ponies drops by.”

Ah yes, both Lizzie and my parents had been under a quarantine of sorts, keeping out of sight of other ponies to avoid causing any panic.

“Well, you shouldn’t have to keep that up much longer, sis,” I replied. “All four of us will be off to Canterlot tomorrow, and we’ll get this whole mess sorted out.” That seemed to perk her up a bit.

“It has been nice having some help here though,” Fluttershy added. “I’ve been very busy this past week trying to take care of all my animal friends before the annual bunny census.”

“And how have you been coping with pony foods?” I asked.

Lizzie was a vegan by choice, and was well used to avoiding meat, which probably would make her more acceptable in pony eyes. Still, there was still no chance of her enjoying hay fries any time soon.

“I actually helped Fluttershy cook a few meals from back home,” Lizzie said, with no small amount of pride in her voice. “I showed her Mum’s recipe for Ratatouille the other night. And Fluttershy’s been helping Mum and Dad too.” That peaked my interest.

“Oh, how?” I asked, sipping on my tea. Fluttershy explained.

“I’ve been letting them use some of my meat from my stores,” she explained. I was a bit perplexed at that.

“Meat?” I parroted.

“I keep a small amount of meat on hoof for my carnivore friends,” Fluttershy elaborated. “You can’t expect every creature in the forest just to eat berries and nuts, Blade Star.” She and Lizzie giggled at my surprised expression, making me blush slightly.

Still, it was good to see my sister laughing again, and it was nice to see how enlightened Fluttershy was when it came to nature. I was certainly glad I wasn’t dealing with Fluttershy back in Season One. She’d never have had the courage to make a joke like that. I found myself resisting the urge to d’awww again.

I stayed for another twenty minutes or so, chatting with Lizzie and Fluttershy. I was glad to see that she was settling in. When we’d all first found ourselves in the Everfree, she’d been particularly rattled by the experience. It probably didn’t help that her first encounter with someone was me launching myself at her to get her away from that Poison Joke. Come to think of it, I probably ran into her with a fair bit of force too. I hope I didn’t hurt her back then.

She seemed happy enough now though. I was worried that separation from Mum and Dad might make things worse, but she seemed to be fairly relaxed around Fluttershy. The pair had really bonded with each other. Fluttershy was acting almost maternally around my little sister. It would be a shame to part them, but I was just glad that her visit to Equestria hadn’t been one fraught with anxiety and fear.

When the town clock began to chime the hour, I headed off back to Sweet Apple Acres. Fluttershy and Lizzie meanwhile returned to their rabbit counting. As I walked back though, I couldn’t help but dwell on the one subject I hadn’t brought up; Discord.

If there was somepony I had no desire to meet, it was him, reformed or not. In the back of mind, I couldn’t shake this nagging doubt that somehow that psychopath was in some way responsible for this. We’d certainly caused a fair amount of chaos with our arrival, and it certainly fitted his style. I was actually a little surprised that he hadn’t made himself known. Did we not warrant his interest? Damn, that sounds a bit egotistical, doesn’t it?

Putting thoughts of unstable beings of pure chaos to one side, I headed back to the farm. Trotting up the path soon brought me to the farmhouse, where the two Apple siblings were waiting. This afternoon, I’d be working with Big Mac.

Needless to say, I don’t have too much to report on that front. I could write what happened with the same detail as the morning, but it would be rather dull. The red stallion was pleasant enough towards me now, seemingly satisfied with my work ethic. But as I was already well aware, he wasn’t much for conversation. So, the two of us worked in silence, albeit a fairly comfortable one.

When six o’clock rolled around, we heard Granny calling us in for dinner. Heading inside and gathering around the dinner table, we chatted about the ongoing harvest.

“Ah reckon we ought to finish up this harvest by the middle of next week,” Applejack was saying.

“Think y’all will be able to manage without an extra hoof, AJ?” I asked jokingly.

“Ah think we’ll survive for a couple days without ya, sugarcube,” she replied.

“Now, ya know Ah’ll be leavin’ early tomorrow,” I went on. “Twilight will most likely want an early start.”

“As long as ya promise to come back here, if’n those princesses do find y’all a way home,” Granny Smith said, with a stern wave of a wooden spoon.

“Of course, Granny,” I replied.

That night, I lay awake in bed for a while, thinking to myself. I couldn’t help but be in two minds about tomorrow. On the one hand, I wanted to go home. I may not have had the best life, but it was far from terrible. Like I said before, I was at a crossroads, waiting to step off into adulthood. My parents and Lizzie were also probably wanting to get home tomorrow. As interesting as this little adventure had been, they all had lives back home; Lizzie was in university, Dad had his firm to look after, and Mum had her own studies to look to.

On the other hand though, I did like it here. I’d really gotten close with the Apples over the past few days. They’d taken me in, given me food and a bed when they had almost no idea who I was; I owed them more than I could ever repay.

Heck, the room I was currently sleeping in, the Apples’ had begun to refer to it as my room rather than just the spare room.

I tossed and turned for a while before coming to a realisation. It all depended on what happened tomorrow. If there was a portal, I’d be going through it with my family. No matter what, I wasn’t leaving them. My own concerns, and my own happiness, were secondary to that.

All I could do was wait and see what tomorrow would bring.

Chapter 10 - Mr. Star Goes to Canterlot

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On all the previous mornings, I’d woken up on my own, my own internal body clock waking me up in time for the working day. This time however, I got a far less comfortable wake up call. Instead of gently coming to, I got quite the surprise.

I was still half asleep at first; I didn’t really notice what was happening. Only when I felt the chilly morning air, and the ground disappear from underneath my hooves did I realise something was up.

Opening my eyes, I blearily looked around. I was no longer in bed. Instead, I was suspended some four or five feet above the floor of my bedroom. My bed, the sheets surprisingly already made, was off to my right. Faintly, I could hear the signature wind chine like sound of magic being used, and the edges of my vision glowed with a magenta hue.

It was actually kind of relaxing, being suspended in the air like this. At least, that’s what my half-awake mind thought. However, my view of the situation changed a couple seconds later, as the magenta hue around me fizzled out.

With little ceremony, gravity quickly took over, and I found myself landing on the floor with a dull thud, my limbs all collapsing under me, unprepared for the sudden weight. I thus landed splayed across the wooden floor. Needless to say, it hurt like a bugger. It also had the added effect of jolting me awake.

“Ow! Son of a…” I exclaimed, nursing my bashed chin with a hoof. I lifted my head and looked for the cause of this sudden turn of events. Curiously, although I didn’t notice it at the time, my accent had now slipped back to its normal British English.

Standing just inside my room, the door still open, and looking ever so slightly unhinged, was Twilight Sparkle. Groggily, I got to my hooves and turned to face her. A couple joins popped as I did so.

“Argh!” I winced. “What’s the deal, Twilight?” Twilight however, was having none of that.

“Come on, Blade Star,” she said hurriedly. “We need to get back to the library as soon as possible!” She then turned around and headed back to the doorway, trotting in place there. She really was agitated.

“Any particular reason why?” I asked, briefly taking a moment to tidy my mane; I had a serious case of bedhead. Twilight looked at me as if I’d announced that the moon was made of cheese.

“Don’t you remember?” she asked. “You’re coming with me to Canterlot today.” Glancing around, I found the clock on my bedside table, it read half past five. A fresh wave of tiredness hit me.

I was about to ask her why that warranted waking me up at such a God-forsaken hour, but then I remembered the letter Princess Celestia had sent. She’d said that she’d see us today, but she hadn’t said when precisely. Twilight had evidently interpreted it to mean very early in the morning. I might have done something similar in her horseshoes, although not quite as extreme. Still, there was no sense going off at her about it. I did my best to avoid being too cranky, but I never was much of a morning person.

“Alright, Twilight,” I said, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “Let me just get some breakfast and I’ll be right with you.” If she could wait for another half hour or so, until six o’clock, she could have breakfast with AJ and the others. Hopefully the pause would help calm her down. But alas, it was not to be.

“No time for that,” she replied, taking me by the hoof. “You can have something at the library.”

With that, she powered up her magic again, and the two of us disappeared in the flash of a teleportation spell.

That was actually the first time I’d ever had something like that happen. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant experience, but I put that down to Twilight being in a rush. When we rematerialized in the library a moment or two later, I was once again knocked woozy, and my mane and tail had both been slightly singed. I recalled a similar thing happening to Spike, and under similar circumstance.

Shaking away the cobwebs and regaining my balance, I looked around. I was standing next to Twilight in the main foyer of the library, where we’d all made our plans a couple days before.

Sitting at a table, looking equally tired, were both my parents. A simple breakfast had been set out, courtesy of Spike, who seemed to be wide awake and fairly calm, in contrast to his surroundings. He set down a plate for me, for which I was grateful. I don’t know if it was an effect of the teleport, but I was starving. My parents looked up as I sat down with them.

“Oh, hello, son,” my dad said as I pulled up a chair. “I see you got picked up as well.”

“Yep,” I replied, taking a bite of pancake. “How long have you been up?”

“About a half hour or so,” he replied. “Though I can’t say for sure how long she’s been up.” He gestured to Twilight.

“She’s been fretting all morning,” Mum explained. “I can’t imagine though that this princess would send anyone down this early in the morning.”

Well, it was just before dawn, so there was a good probability that Princess Celestia was up and about already. After all, she had to raise the sun for dawn to actually happen at all. I still couldn’t quite believe that we were in a world where such things happened. It was incredible just to contemplate. Early summer dawns do tend to make me a bit wistful and philosophical.

The three of us ate in a familial silence, Twilight having already eaten when she got up. Spike joined us though when he’d finished cooking. Considering his age, he’d done well to make these pancakes from scratch.

Twilight then announced that she would go over to Fluttershy’s and fetch my sister, and then she’d give us a ‘brief’ lecture on royal protocol and other such matters. Having explained that, she disappeared in a flash of light, leaving us alone with Spike.

The four of us chatted amongst ourselves while we waited for Twilight to return. All things considered, my parents seemed to have adjusted fairly well to their current situation. It had only been three days, but they’d already grown accustomed to having a baby dragon around. Like Lizzie, they’d both had to be a little careful, making themselves scarce whenever somepony came into the library.

They had also had a bit of a reward though. Given that the two of them only had the clothes on their back, they’d quickly found themselves in need of new clothing. While it had been something of a challenge, even for her, Rarity had done her best to make something for the two of them. They were now both dressed in somewhat smart-casual clothes, suitable enough for Canterlot.

“Rarity did do a fantastic job though,” Mum said as we ate. “I mean, when you think about all the differences between us and ponies. I mean, she had it done the next day!”

“Please, there’s nothing Rarity can’t do when it comes to clothes,” Spike jumped in.

While I may not have been bound by a Pinkie Promise, I decided to keep my mouth shut about his crush on Rarity. Although, judging by the looks on their faces, Mum and Dad had figured it out already.

“Well, I’m just glad I’m not going before royalty in three day old clothes I’ve slept in,” Dad said.

“That’s one advantage of being a pony, Dad,” I replied, sipping on my coffee, which had properly woken me up. “No need to wear clothes all the time, just special occasions.”

At that moment, Twilight returned, appeared just where she had left, only with Lizzie in tow. Like me, she looked a little worse for wear from the experience. Twilight’s rushed teleport had singed her hair slightly, but it was hardly noticeable. My little sister was quickly herded over to the table, where she joined us for breakfast. Unlike the rest of us though, she looked to be wide awake, she’s more of a morning person than me or our parents.

“Hey, guys,” she said as she sat down and helped herself to some toast. “What’s up with Twilight?”

Lizzie too seemed to have adapted over the past couple days. As I said before, usually, out of all of us, she was the most unflappable. Dad used to joke that she was like Fred out of Galaxy Quest. That’s how she seemed now. It was good to see her back to something like normal, considering how shaken up she’d been before.

“She’s just freaking out a little,” I replied. “She gets like this whenever she has to do something important or meet a deadline. Heck, once, she cast this spell on the entire town by accident, made them all need this old doll, all so she could solve a friendship problem and send a report off to Princess Celestia.” The three of them looked at me in surprise, while Spike merely grimaced at the memory.

“Seriously?” Mum said, somewhat shocked. “I knew magic could do all sorts of things, but I didn’t realise it could do stuff like that.”

“Well, Twilight does have a gift for magic,” I countered. “It’s her cutie mark after all. Most unicorns can only use levitation spells, illumination spells, and maybe one signature spell connected to their cutie mark. Pegasi and Earth Ponies can’t use their magic in the same way, but it helps them fly or gives them more strength and stamina.”

“We have had this lecture, you know,” Dad said, rolling his eyes.

“Sorry.”

I decided not to mention a certain Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, or other advanced magic users. I doubt they’d react well to Discord. For goodness sake, I hadn’t told them much about any of the more dodgy characters in Equestria. They knew next to nothing about Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis and her changelings, or the twisted King Sombra. There’s a point; we were halfway through Season 4 at the moment. What if we were still around when the next Big Bad turned up?

I didn’t have time to dwell on that though, as Twilight came trotting back down the stairs, a waistcoat draped across her back. She quickly levitated it over to me.

“Here, put this on, Blade Star,” she instructed.

I figured this too had to be one of Rarity’s designs. It certainly looked high end enough. Putting it on, I quickly buttoned the front up and smoothed it out to ensure I looked presentable. There was also a collar that wrapped around my neck, although no tie to go with it. That was lucky I suppose. I wasn’t good at tying knots at the best of times, I doubt I’d be any better with hooves.

The six of us then continued to chow down on breakfast, with Twilight still a bundle of nerves. Every few minutes, she’d go over to the window that looked out onto the street to see if our transport had arrived. But for the moment, there was no sign. Evidently, Princess Celestia wouldn’t be seeing us too early in the day.

And so we waited as the clock hands slowly crept round its face. By degrees, we all split off to do our own thing. Spike went to clean up breakfast with Mum helping him, Dad sat down with a couple books (Twilight had spent the last couple days helping him learn the Equestrian alphabet, and he’d made enough progress to read at a fairly slow pace), Lizzie went upstairs and watched some of the small birds that were hanging around Twilight’s bird feeder. As for me, I just stayed where I was, and resting my head on the library table, took the chance to catch up on some much needed sleep. God knows I needed it.

A while later, I found myself again jostled awake. This time though it was my dad, so at least I didn’t get an expected reunion with the ground. I’d fallen asleep with my jaw resting on the edge of the table, so my joints were a little stiff as I got up and stretched. Still, I felt well rested now. Taking a moment to yawn and arch my back, I looked around for a clock. There was one on the far wall, ticking away. The time read ten o’clock. I’d been asleep then for the better part of five hours.

“Come on, son,” I heard my dad say, while at the same time feeling someone prod me in the side. “That chariot thing has finally turned up.” I blinked a couple of times and took a moment to straighten out my mane and my waistcoat.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming now,” I answered. I trotted past Spike, who was staying behind to look after the library in Twilight’s absence.

The rest of my family, along with Twilight, were already at the door. They’d have to slip out fairly quickly, and it would have to be a quick dust off in order not to be spotted by anypony who happened to be out and about at that moment. I quickly trotted over to join them. Twilight looked back to our little group.

“Okay, everypony ready?” she asked. She seemed a fair bit calmer than she had been before, although the prospect of going outside with three humans was putting me a little on edge. I said as much to her.

“We’re just all going to go out there?” I asked. “Won’t somepony see us?”

In response, Twilight activated her magic and, much to my surprise, I saw the three human members of my family simply fade out and disappear. It even had the same shimmering effect of a Romulan Warbird cloaking. The gulf between us now joining the conversation, a strange thing, considering I couldn’t see any of them.

“Hang on!” my dad called out. “Where’s everybody gone? Margaret? Lizzie?”

“I’m here!” Mum chirped back, I can’t see you though; just Twilight and the boy.”

“What’s going on?” demanded Lizzie.

“It’s alright,” Twilight reassured them, while I did my best not to laugh at the silliness of the situation. “I just placed an invisibility spell on you so we can get in the chariot without you being seen.” There was a pause.

“So why the heck did we have to spend three days cooped up in here then?” Dad exclaimed.

“It’s difficult to maintain for long periods,” she explained. I noticed her grimace for a moment. “I can probably keep this up for another thirty seconds or so.”

“Okay, c’mon you three,” I encouraged. “You heard Twilight. We’d best be on our way.”

“Says the slow coach,” Lizzie countered.

Opening the door, Twilight and I headed outside, with the others following. We didn’t get too far before somebody yelled.

“Ouch! Watch where you’re going!” Mum exclaimed.

“Well, I would if I could see you!” Dad shot back.

“Keep quiet!” I hissed at them, so as not to be seen talking to thin air. “You’re gonna get us all busted!”

Luckily, after that, the trio managed to avoid bumping into one another and we soon reached the chariot.

It was a moderately sized, somewhat gaudy golden thing, pretty much identical to the one that had ferried Twilight to Ponyville on the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration. It was a bit of a squeeze, but we all managed to fit on board without too much trouble. When we were all aboard, Twilight closed the side door with her magic and sat down.

“Well, this is gonna be a long trip,” Lizzie commented. “That castle on the mountain must be thirty miles away at least. And isn’t Twilight’s spell supposed to run out in a minute.”

“We’ll be alright once we get up to a decent altitude,” Twilight replied offhandedly.

The stunned silence from the rest of my family told me that they mustn’t have seen the chariot land. They didn’t know that we’d be flying.

“What d’you mean ‘altitude’?” My dad asked. “Those might be pegasus ponies, but there’s no way this thing will fly; it goes against all the laws of aerodynamics.”

The two guards, dressed in their ornate golden armour and blue plumage now began to canter forward and flap their wings. Even though I couldn’t see them, I could imagine the looks of my parents’ faces.

“Well, you know, Dad,” I replied. “They said the same thing about bumblebees.”

And with that, we began to climb up into the sky. Mum let out her signature ear piercing scream as the heavy chariot lumbered into the sky. I actually found myself asking the same question though. The show never did explain how these things stayed up in the air and level, rather than pulling the pegasi down with it. After a moment of thought, I mentally shrugged my shoulders and chalked it up to the old standby excuse; ‘because magic’.

We were soon high above Ponyville, far enough that nopony below noticed when Twilight’s invisibility spell finally gave out. In the same manner as they had ‘disappeared’, my parents and little sister shimmered back into existence. It certainly made the chariot seem a bit more cramped. Before, it had just been Twilight and I, with a large gap between us. One of the guards pulling us briefly looked back, and was no doubt surprised at the strange creatures he saw. But, as usual, he remained stoic, and said nothing, quickly returning his attention to the task of flying. We too all settled in for the trip up to Canterlot.

“You could have told me,” Mum said to me, half scowling. I grinned back.

“You never asked,” I replied. I ducked to dodge the half-hearted smack behind my head. “Come on, this is no worse than flying to Jersey. We’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Thirteen minutes actually,” Twilight replied. “And before we arrive, I’d like to go over a few important things with you. You are going to be meeting the princess after all.”

“I think we have a fair idea, Twilight,” Dad replied. “Bow, call her ‘your majesty’, don’t say anything too rude.” Twilight cut him off.

“It’s a little bit more than that,” she replied a little hotly. “We’re going to be in Canterlot Castle.” I jumped in too.

“She’s right, Dad,” I replied. “You ought to know about the Royal Guard too. They may be ponies, but I guarantee that they’ll lay you out if you cross them. There like the guards at Buckingham Palace; ceremonial, but still soldiers. They don’t talk or move, but you shouldn’t mess with them. After all, their captain is Twilight’s big brother.” I bit my tongue a moment too late; I really need to stop running my mouth.

“I think what he’s saying, dearest,” Mum added. “Is that you need to be on your best behaviour. We don’t want an action replay of the Dáil Incident.” All four of us, apart from Twilight, collectively cringed at that memory. Dad still wasn’t allowed in the Paddy parliament.

“Alright, alright,” he conceded with a wave of his hand. “I promise I won’t do anything rash. But I do think you ought to let me do most of the talking, lad.” I frowned.

“I know more about this world than you do, Dad,” I replied.

“True,” he agreed. “But I’m not sure the human race should be introduced to this lot by a lad who’s barely out his teens and froze up when he met six girls.” I turned red at that, still sore about it.

“We’re not introducing the human race,” I replied shortly. “Just us. And since we’re throwing TV shows around, this isn’t some first contact away mission, Mr. Trekkie!”

Mum and Lizzie, as well as Twilight looked a little uncomfortable as the two of us butted heads. In hindsight, I can’t help but find it quite funny. After all that had happened, we were arguing over who got to talk to the princess. Luckily, before things got too out of hand, one of the guards called back to us.

“If you two wanna pipe down back there,” he called gruffly. “We’re starting our decent. We’ll be landing at the palace in a couple minutes.” Twilight now took over things again.

“Okay, everypony,” she said, out of habit. “My brother, Shining Armor is going to be waiting for us when we land, he’ll escort us to the throne room to see Princess Celestia. I’ll introduce you, and then you just let the princess speak. Clear?”

“Yes, Twilight,” Dad and I nodded, nodding dutifully.

“Good.”

I felt a twinge of anxiety as we drew nearer to the ground. In a few minutes I’d be meeting Princess Celestia herself, however brief it might be. I’d never met my own monarch, but this would certainly be damn close to it. I was certain that she’d want to speak to all of us at some point. I just hoped that I could avoid freezing up again like I had when I first met Twilight and the others.

On the other hand though, I couldn’t help but wonder if there would be a chance to meet Princess Luna. I’m not gonna lie; I’m a bit of a Luna fanboy, always have been, always will be. It might have been a silly idea, but I was still hopeful our paths would cross, simply to say hello if nothing else.

As I pondered these two possible encounters with Equestrian royalty, the chariot jolted ever so slightly as we touched down on the ground once more.

Well, as much as you can call it ground when you’re a couple thousand feet up an almost vertical mountain.

I think my ears just popped.

We touched down on what I suppose you could call a landing platform. It was a bit like a helipad back home; the sort you saw on top of police stations and hospitals. I guess this was where all the chariots pulled by the Royal Guard came from; like a depot of sorts. The area was presently brimming with activity. There had to be at least a dozen guards waiting for us, all armed, although none of them seemed particularly aggressive.

Standing at the head of this little assembly was a clearly senior officer, even if you didn’t know much about MLP. In contrast to the fairly simple gold armor of his comrades, this fellow wore a more ornate set, with light and dark purple trim, and the blue plumage, his mane which sprouted from a gap on the helmet, had a few natural highlights in it instead of the single blue shade. It was easy enough to recognise this stallion, even if I couldn’t see his cutie mark. It was Shining Armor; Captain of the Royal Guard.

Well, we were important enough to warrant the attention of Celestia herself, so it only made sense that she’d send her best man to escort us. I was a little surprised to see him though. I’d always thought that, after him and Cadence took over looking after the Crystal Empire that he’d moved up there. Apparently though, he still fulfilled his duties here in Canterlot. And I always thought you had to be hard up to work two jobs.

The wings of the two pegasi snapped to their sides as the chariot came to rest, and Twilight opened the door at the side. She quickly ran over to her brother, or BBBFF as she would put it.

“Shining!” she called out, trotting over to him and embracing him in a hug, which he gladly returned.

“Hey there, Twiley,” he replied warmly. “It’s good to see you.”

Twilight now turned around and motioned for the four of us to step out. Dad went first, then Mum, then Lizzie, and I brought up the rear. Shining and the other guards watched with a mixture of surprise and curiosity. Still, they stayed fairly impassive, and took no action. Twilight introduced us all.

“Shining,” she said. “This is Roger, Margaret, Lizzie and Blade Star.” She pointed to each of us in turn, with Shining giving each of us a respectful nod.

“I’m Captain Shining Armor,” he replied, pausing briefly to remove his helmet and tucking it under his foreleg. “Princess Celestia has asked me to escort you to the throne room for an audience with her. If you’d like to follow me please.”

“Sure, Captain. Lead on,” my dad replied with a wave of his arm.

The guards formed an effective ring around us as we moved. Shining was at the head, while a few other guards followed, acting as a security detail. A silence quickly fell on our group, particularly as we made our way into the castle.

As I’ve said before, the show doesn’t really do justice to the world of Equestria. The great halls of Canterlot Castle were no exception. Beautiful stained glass windows let light into the opulent marble hallways, and glittering chandeliers hung from the ceilings. We were all in awe of it. It certainly put places like Buckingham Palace, or even the Vatican to shame.

As we made our way through the corridors, a question popped into my head, so I trotted over to Twilight, who was walking just behind her brother.

“Say Twilight,” I said, keeping my voice fairly quiet. “Did you tell your brother about…well, everything?” Twilight shook her head.

“He’ll be with us when you meet Princess Celestia,” she replied. “I thought it best we explain everything then.” I nodded in understanding.

“Fair enough,” I replied. I had vaguely considered attempting to strike a conversation with the larger unicorn. But I didn’t want to throw him by displaying knowledge I shouldn’t have. So I decided to hold me tongue and let myself drift back to the rear of our little group.

We eventually came into a more recognisable hallway. Here, the stained glass windows depicted events from the show. There was Luna’s return, Discord’s brief escape, the Changeling invasion being repulsed, Sombra’s defeat, and finally, Twilight becoming an alicorn and princess. It was still a thrill to know that I was in the same world where all these things happened.

Coming to the end of the corridor, we came upon the doors to the throne room. Off to one side, I could see the entryway for the vault, where Celestia had previously stored the Elements, until Discord decided to have a bit of fun and hide them during his escape.

We stopped in front of the impressive doors. They were massive, even by human standards. Easily large enough for even Celestia to pass through without trouble. At present, they were shut tight and guarded by two more pegasi of the Royal Guard.

Shining Armor nodded to the pair who, without a word, moved and pushed against the heavy wooden doors, opening them up and letting us into the throne room.

Our little group was ushered inside and we found ourselves walking along the plush red carpet that eventually led to the dais the throne sat on. That was the first time I laid eyes on Princess Celestia in person. She was sitting on her throne, waiting for us, her face calm, but nonetheless welcoming.

We were led inside as the two great doors closed behind us gently, hardly making a sound. Faintly, I heard the locking mechanism turn. Evidently there were to be no interruptions.

The group of guards that had brought us here now broke off, including Shining Armor, and took posts around the edges of the room. Shining Armor walked to the foot of the dais and offered a brief bow, which Celestia returned to what was essentially her equal. He then stepped to the side to let Twilight up.

Well, moment of truth. I wondered how things would go. There was only one way to find out.

Chapter 11 - Sun and Moon

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The five of us walked to the foot of the throne.Twilight, like her brother, offered but a brief bow to her mentor and fellow princess. I on the other hand, bowed properly. While I was not strictly a citizen of Equestria, Celestia was still royalty and was entitled to some level of respect. Just as I might refer to the American president as ‘Mr. President’, even though I myself am British, I thought it best to respect local custom.

It seemed Mum, Dad, and Lizzie had the same idea too, or followed my lead, for they all either bowed or curtsied as their gender dictated. Celestia too acknowledged this with a bow. She then turned her attention back to Twilight; her former student.

“Twilight, it’s so wonderful to see you again,” she said. Her voice had that same comforting maternal tone that I was familiar with. I felt some of the butterflies in my stomach flutter away. Celestia now turned her attention back to the four of us.

“I take it that these are the humans you and your friends found in the Everfree Forest.” Twilight nodded.

“Yes,” she replied. “This is Roger, Margaret, Elisabeth, and Blade Star.” Celestia quirked an eyebrow at the mention of my name, but said nothing further and let Twilight continue.

“From what I can make out, the four of them were brought to Equestria by some kind of portal. Though whether it was natural or artificial, I don’t know. I tried to recreate the portal at the library, but it just destabilised. I was hoping you might have some ideas.” Celestia nodded and stepped down from her throne.

“Indeed I do, Twilight,” she said, making my parents both crack a smile. “But before we go any further, I’d like to get to know these people a little better.”

The princess walked down the steps and approached my dad, who stood on the far left of our group, with me at the far end. I saw his eyes widen in surprise as he realised that Celestia was just as tall as he was, not counting her horn. He bowed and as he rose, extended a hand.

“Good morning, your highness,” he said. Celestia, well versed in the ways of several species, placed her own hoof in his hand and shook it.

Please, Dad, no Blackadder jokes, I thought to myself. Celestia smiled at him warmly. As it turned out though, Dad was actually more diplomatic than I gave him credit for, going as far as to open initial relations.

“Princess Celestia,” he went on. “As a British citizen, I offer you greetings on behalf of Her Most Britannic Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of Almighty God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and all her Realms and Territories beyond the Seas, Queen, Head of the Commonwealth of Nations, and Defender of the Faith.”

“Quite a collection of titles,” Celestia commented, sounding somewhat impressed. “I take it this United Kingdom is a monarchy, somewhat like Equestria?”

“A constitutional monarchy, ma’am,” my dad replied, switching to another way of addressing a princess. “Our queen is a figurehead, but retains a great deal of power, simply not exercising it. The vast majority of the countries on Earth though are democratic republics, with their monarchies abolished, either by rebellion or reform.”

“I see. Then we are not so different,” Celestia replied. “While our diarchy may be absolute, much of the day to day business is conducted at a more local level with elected representatives. In fact, it is often the cities and towns themselves that negotiate trade and other business with one another. My sister and I act at the international level and as a unifying force.”

“That must make things difficult to run at times,” Dad said. “It must be difficult to keep track of things like the various local laws and statutes. And I always thought our legal system was complex.” Celestia turned her head slightly to look at him sideways.

“You seem quite knowledgeable on the subject,” she suggested. Dad smiled.

“I’m a solicitor, or was until I found myself here,” he explained. “My firm specialises in criminal law.”

“And what of this ‘Commonwealth of Nations’?” Celestia enquired. I half wanted to jump in myself, being a bit of a history buff. But I figured it would be rude to interrupt the princess; no doubt I’d have my turn soon enough. Dad explained.

“Our country once possessed a large empire that covered roughly a quarter of the globe. But over the last fifty years or so, the vast majority were granted independence to prevent outbreaks of rebellion and foster democracy. While each former colony is now independent, most are a member of the Commonwealth, and they cooperate on matters of trade, mutual defence, and diplomacy, and their leaders regularly meet to discuss matters relating to their respective nations. Some members continue to recognise the Queen as their head of state, even after becoming independent. Consider it a twilight form of empire.”

Celestia seemed greatly interested in the idea. In a way, Equestria was very much like the Commonwealth; a lot of the regions were fiercely independent in their own way, but all came together under the banner of Equestria for mutual benefit.

For whatever reason, she didn’t question the last title in the royal style. Equestria, as far as I could make out, didn’t really have religion in the same sense we did. Not that I could be certain; at best I’d seen a fleeting glimpse of a funeral in one episode. Still, evidently satisfied, she moved on to talk to my mum. I must confess I thought Dad had done rather well for himself; his summary of the Commonwealth seemed to have impressed Celestia. It finally put my concerns about us being viewed as barbarous to bed.

Taking a few steps, Celestia moved along our little line and turned to Mum. She was significantly taller than her, even without the horn. Mum however, didn’t seem fearful or anything, for which I was glad. Friendly or not, Celestia’s size was enough to make most people stop and pay attention, and I knew for a fact that she could be intimidating when she needed to be. Luckily, this was not one of those times.

As with Dad, Mum offered a brief curtsy to Celestia and shook her hoof.

“A pleasure to meet you, Princess,” she said. Celestia let out a soft laugh.

“Please,” she said. “You are guests here. Feel free to call me Celestia.” Mum nodded.

“As you like, Celestia.”

“I do hope your time in the Everfree Forest wasn’t too unsettling. I know most ponies are fearful to go in there.” Mum now smiled back.

“Well, it was a little frightening at first. Especially when we both saw how my son here had changed. But he was quite good at helping us find our way, and not long after, we ran into Twilight and her friends.”

“I will of course, do my upmost to ensure you are returned back to your world,” Celestia promised. “Until then, I will see to it that some rooms are prepared for you to stay. At least for this weekend.”

“Thank you, Celestia,” Mum said, with a slight nod. “I’m sure Twilight will be glad to have her library to herself again.” We all let out a little, albeit still formal, laugh at that. Celestia then came to Lizzie.

My sister was a little more unsettled by the large alicorn. It sort of reminded me of a time when we went to Disneyland Paris, and she was afraid of the various Disney mascots wandering about. I smiled to myself as I remember her, six years old, burying her face into Mum’s jacket to hide.

Luckily, she’s a lot less flappable nowadays. Mum put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, which seemed to calm her down. Celestia, no doubt used to foals being just as shy, lay down so she was little shorter than Lizzie, and thus less intimidating.

“Hello, Princess,” Lizzie said, fairly quietly. I guess some of Fluttershy’s shyness had rubbed off on her. Celestia smiled.

“Hello, Lizzie,” she replied kindly. Lizzie still looked a little uneasy at meeting the alicorn, but then, out of the blue, asked a question that, if I’m honest, I’ve wanted to know the answer to for ages.

“How do you get your mane to do that?” she asked, pointing at her large, flowing mane.

It was an impressive thing, and something neither of my parents had commented on. As if held by an unseen breeze, it rippled like water, the greens, blues, and pinks all intermingling, creating all sorts of patterns. Celestia giggled at the question.

“Mainly magic,” she replied with a grin. “And some help from my personal manedresser. Touch it, if you’d like.”

Hesitantly, Lizzie reached out with a hand. She paused for a moment, before letting her fingers slip into the flowing mane. To my surprise, it had very little effect, hardly disturbing the elegant patterns. She let out a little gasp as she held her hand in there a few moments longer, before retracting it.

“That’s cool!” she declared, now more confident than before. Celestia giggled again before standing up.

Now, she came to me. I’d had some time to prepare what I was going to say to her on the way here. I was certainly determined not to freeze up like an idiot, as I had before when we were all in the Everfree. It was a bit tricky though. You think Celestia looks intimidating at 5’3? Try being no more than 4’6. She absolutely towered over me, far more than Big Mac did. But, as I said before; nothing about her seemed even remotely hostile. I felt completely safe around her. I was about to offer my own greetings when the white alicorn beat me to the punch.

“And you, I take it, are Blade Star,” she said, looking down at me. “I think you and I have quite a good deal to talk about.” That sounded almost ominous.

“Yes, ma’am,” I said quickly. I wondered where this was going, although there was one obvious answer. I looked up at her, but her gaze revealed nothing but a well-practiced poker face.

“Twilight tells me that you…know things, about Equestria. Things that few ponies, and no doubt even fewer humans could possibly know.” I nodded.

“That’s correct, your highness,”

The princess stepped away for a moment, before turning back to face me.

“You passed several stained glass windows on your way here,” she said. “Tell me, what do each of them represent?” I thought for a moment before answering.

“Each portrays a crucial moment in Equestria’s history,” I replied, doing my best to avoid running my mouth like a fanboy. “From Equestria’s founding and the banishment of the Windigoes, to Discord’s appearance and imprisonment, Princess Luna’s banishment and subsequent return from the moon, the Changeling attack on Canterlot during the wedding of Shining Armor and Princess Cadence, and King Sombra’s return from imprisonment within the ice of the Frozen North, and his failed attempt to take over the Crystal Empire, he was then defeated by Spike of all people.”

“Impressive,” Celestia replied. “Considering that, since you claim to be from another world, such knowledge should be beyond your reach. You have an explanation, I take it?”

“I do, your highness,” I replied.

And so, I explained everything to the best of my knowledge. I told her about the show, Lauren Faust, the other generations, even the comics, which seemed to be hit and miss in terms of their canon. I also briefly explained how I’d gotten involved in it personally, and the positive effect it had had on my life. All in all, it took about a quarter of an hour.

Celestia didn’t respond too much, beyond asking the occasional question, but I could tell that she was deeply fascinated by what she was hearing. When my story was done, she stayed silent for a moment, thinking, before she spoke again.

“Your explanation is…intriguing, Blade Star,” she said at length. “However, it does raise some serious questions. For one, the idea that, even now, we may be observed by those from your world.” Twilight now, spoke up.

“I don’t think that’s likely, princess,” she said. “The kind of observation required to get such a close representation of our lives would no doubt be noticed by somepony. I think this is more likely proof of the multiverse theory.”

“That’s the whole malarkey about an infinite number of universes when every possibility exists, right?” my dad said, turning to her. Twilight nodded.

“Exactly, it stands to reason that in that infinite, there would be at least one where another universe is just fiction. I’m sure that somewhere out there, all this would be treated as fiction too, and the world Blade Star and his family came from.

“If I’m right, then they arrived here through a sort of bridge, a moment in space/time where the two different universes briefly merged. Think of it as an unstable form of mirror portal.” Celestia frowned.

“What you suggest would require vast amounts of magic, Twilight,” she said. “If your theory is correct, then I fear it may be difficult, if not impossible for these people to return home.”

The news hit all four of us like a ton of bricks. All of a sudden, the bottom of my world had vanished. Up until now, as strange as this all was, our visit to Equestria had been a mostly enjoyable experience. And while I had toyed with the idea of what to do if we were stranded, I’d never really thought it to be the case. I’d hoped for a stable portal or something, so I could go back and forth. But to be trapped here? Granted, there were worse places to be stranded, but still, we were now cut off, perhaps forever, from everything we’d known. Up until now, we’d all been just, almost expecting Princess Celestia to pull a rabbit out of her hat and send us on our way.

Mum and Lizzie both turned to Dad and hugged him, with Mum doing her best to avoid crying. I just sat down, unsure whether to laugh or cry. Celestia and Twilight did their best to comfort us.

“Please, do not lose hope yet,” Celestia implored. “I am sure that there is some way to get you home. It is simply a matter of finding it. I’m certain that Twilight would be more than glad to help me in that regard.” Twilight nodded.

“Of course, princess,” she replied dutifully. “I’ll put all my other projects on hold until I find a solution.” Celestia nodded and smiled kindly at her.

“Until we do find a solution though,” she went on. “I shall do my best to make your stay in my nation as comfortable as possible. I certainly would never wish for anypony to find themselves in such a position.”

Activating her magic, her long horn glowed for a moment, before a medium sized bag appeared, floating in the air next to her head. She levitated this over to my dad, placing it in his hand.

“There are 2,500 bits in there,” she explained. “That should be more than enough for you to live comfortably for some time.” Dad opened the bag, and I saw the gold reflecting on his surprised face.

“As I said before, the four of you are welcome to stay here in the castle until Monday. I shall then accompany you back to Ponyville and explain your presence to the townsfolk. I think we can now avoid the need for secrecy.

“As far as housing is concerned, if my memory is correct, there is a modest house in Ponyville that has recently gone on the market. With some modifications, it would be more than suitable for you.” She turned to one of her guards. “See to it that the estate agent is fetched up here, and once the purchase is complete, have some of our engineers begin modifications.”

The guard nodded and promptly trotted out of the throne room, passing us along the way. Dad looked up to the princess, still holding his wife and daughter closely.

“I appreciate all of this, your highness,” he said. Celestia smiled slightly.

“I’ll have my guards take you to the guest wing of the castle. No doubt you would like some time together to process all that has happened. But I would be honoured if you would join me and my sister later tonight for dinner.” Dad looked to the three of, and we all nodded.

“We would be happy to attend, princess.”

The four of us were then quietly escorted to our temporary accommodations. It was a bit of a trek from the throne room, but it was conversely a stone’s throw away from the dining rooms and gardens. Not that any of that really bothered me that much. Like everyone else, I was still processing what we’d all heard.

An interesting side note was that, according to Twilight, the mirror portal did in fact exist. But I didn’t particularly care about the canon of the show at that point. Honestly, I just wanted to go and lie down for a while.

It was just the four of us at the moment. Twilight, along with Shining Armor, had remained behind in the throne room to talk with Celestia. The only pony beside myself, were the two guards who were taking us to our rooms. They were an escort, rather than a security detail. After our introductions, they’d all become far less wary around us.

We soon came to the right part of the castle, although I had virtually no idea how the heck we’d gotten here. I’d not really been bothered to note down each and every little turn. If Canterlot Castle had one fault, it was the fact that all the bleeding corridors looked the same.

Our first stop was one of the larger suites, where my parents would both be staying the next night or so. There was some slight unease when Lizzie expressed a desire not to be apart from her parents. Luckily, her own, somewhat smaller room was just down the hall. Since we were not prisoners, in fact I was told that we had free rein of the castle, within reason, it would just be matter of going down the hall to see them if she wanted.

And so, in short order, all three of my family members had departed, leaving me on my own with the two guards. In a way, I was a little glad. When I get despondent, I prefer to be on my own for a while. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being around family. But after such a shock, I just wanted some time to myself.

My own suite, as it turned out, was a little further away from the others. Not by much, but enough that I had to commit the route to memory if I wanted to find my way. Mine was apparently one of the suites visiting ambassadors used when they stayed in the castle. Opening the large door, I found the place to be quite opulent. Like everything else, the floor was marble, and the walls were decorated with impressive, and no doubt expensive, artwork. There was a large four poster bed for me to sleep in, along with a desk and bureau. There was also an en suite bathroom, with a large tub, complete with whirlpool if you can believe it. Finally, there was a second door that led out onto the balcony which overlooked the city and the valley below.

After thanking the two guards, I was left to myself. I sat for a little while, looking around the room. I found myself longing for my more simple quarters on Sweet Apple Acres, or my own room back home.

Climbing up onto the bed, I tried to think. If only I could plan, I would feel slightly better. The feeling of being entirely powerless and at the mercy of the universe was not a feeling I much cared for. I don’t believe in the no win scenario, to quote Admiral Kirk.

But there was not much I could think of. I knew jack about magic, never mind how precisely we got here. Heck, even Twilight and Celestia could only guess it seemed. Even though I knew that my family were close by, along with at least one good friend, who would do everything within her power to get us home, I couldn’t help but feel isolated.

I managed to stop myself from outright crying. It may be old fashioned, and bad for my mental health, but I’ve never thought it right or proper to cry, not since I was a kid anyway. I did my best to shake off this melancholy feeling. Like I said before, there were far worse places to be stranded in. I tried to claw back the view I’d taken of all this before; viewing it as an adventure, rather than a crisis. Still, it didn’t make me feel too much better.

In the end, I guess I must have drifted off to sleep. I was startled awake again by a knock at the door and a mare’s voice calling out.

“Mr. Blade Star?” I heard. Shaking the cobwebs loose, I got up and trotted over to the door.

Opening it up, I found myself faced with one of the castle’s maids. She was an earth pony with a very light brown coat, and a charcoal mane. She was wearing one of those stereotypical maid’s outfits, albeit adapted to the equine form. She smiled up at me; no doubt I looked a little ragged.

“Yes, ma’am?” I asked, briefly slipping into my southern accent as I blinked and rubbed my eyes for a moment.

“Princess Celestia asked me to take you to the dining hall for dinner.” I nodded in understanding.

“Of course,” I replied, now a bit more alert. “Do ya mind if Ah just take a moment to make myself presentable?”

“Not at all.”

Heading back inside, I popped into the en suite and quickly splashed some cold water on my face, and did my best to set my mane right. One thing I needed to get used to was having a mane. It wasn’t like the hair I used to have; you couldn’t just smooth it flat. I guess I’ll have to talk to Lizzie about styling at some point.

Satisfied with my appearance, I headed back out to where the maid was waiting patiently. Sub-consciously, I did my best to set all my earlier thoughts to one side and put on my best faux smile.

“Alright, lead the way,” I said.

It wasn’t too far to the dining hall, as the maid called it. We passed the suites where my parents and Lizzie were staying, all of which were now empty. I guess they’d already been picked up, being as how they were nearer. As we walked, the maid struck up a conversation with me.

“So, where are you from then?” she asked. “That accent sounds pure Appleloosa to me.”

For a moment, I was caught off guard by what she said. It took a moment for me to realise that I’d suddenly drifted into speaking with the same southern accent that I’d adopted around Applejack. I wondered what had brought it on. Well, no offense to AJ or her family, but I’d rather keep my old way of speaking around the princess. Just so I don’t have to explain the whole thing. Consciously, I did my best to alter the way I was speaking.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise I’d started doing that again.” The maid turned back to look at me, no doubt surprised by the sudden change. “It’s just a weird tick I have. I’ve been staying with some folks down in Ponyville who speak like that. I sort of picked it up.”

The maid simply gave me an odd look for a moment, before shrugging her shoulders. Great, yet another person who thinks I’m on the spectrum.

After a slightly uncomfortable silence, we arrived at the dining hall. Two guards stood on watch outside, but made way to let us pass.

Heading inside, I found the table laid for six. It was rather long, banquet style table, made of out of what looked to be expensive mahogany. Three chairs had been provided, presumably used by other non-pony species, for my family, while Celestia, Twilight and I had the more normal cushions to sit on. Celestia sat at the head of the table, while Mum and Dad sat on one side, and Twilight, Lizzie and me sat on the other.

Celestia smiled as I entered and my dad called out a greeting to me. I quickly took my own seat between Twilight and my sister. The last time I’d attended anything this formal was when my department at university hosted their annual graduation ball. Even in the waistcoat and collar I was wearing, I felt a little underdressed.

The princess nodded to one of the servers, who were stationed along the edges of the room. He promptly, headed through a double door toward the kitchens, and a minute or so later, dinner was served. It was a strange combination of dishes from start to finish, with differing diets for ponies and humans.

As we ate, Celestia struck up a conversation with each of us, ensuring that we all chatted freely. We’d all had some time to take stock of recent developments and now was as good a time as any to decompress.

My spirits certainly perked up being around my family again. The previous melancholy that had bothered me lifted somewhat. The same could be said of the rest of my family. We all began to chat about what we’d do when we got back to Ponyville.

Lizzie was keen to remain with Fluttershy if possible, having found the mare to be good company and the work enjoyable.

Dad meanwhile, was talking with Celestia about how her Day Court operated. I must admit, the little nuances like that that the show never really elaborated on were interesting to me too.

Mum was a little less sure, and was more focussed on getting this new house Celestia had promised them up and running. And the small matter of getting new clothes made up for all three of them. She did however, express some interest in the schoolhouse and chatted with Celestia all through dessert about her own school for gifted unicorns.

As for me, well, if I was to be stuck here, I planned to be stuck on Sweet Apple Acres. I mentioned how Applejack had offered me a job of sorts before we left, and what she’d said about enjoying working with me. For some reason, that made Mum giggle briefly and almost choke on her drink.

I also talked with Twilight about magic. If I was going to be here for some time, I might as well learn how to use my magic. The young alicorn was eager to take on the role of teacher, and Celestia too agreed that it was getting near the time where she ought to take on her own student, to pass on her own knowledge.

Eventually though, things began to wind down. Although I can now say I’ve had dinner with Princess Celestia, something not too many ponies can boast about. We all finished up with a little coffee, although Celestia stuck to her preferred tea.

It was now quite dark outside, Celestia having briefly stepped away to lower the sun a half hour ago. The sight of the full moon hanging low in the sky caused an idea to jump into my head.

“Princess,” I said, catching the alicorn’s attention. “Does your sister hold Night court tonight?” Celestia beamed and nodded.

“Indeed she does, Blade Star,” she replied. “She’s taken to holding court each night before tending to the Dreaming Realm. Although I must admit, she has few petitioners compared to my own court.” I frowned at that. Luna had been back from exile for a few years now. I’d hoped that she’d start to get a bit more popularity. My little idea began to take root.

“Then, if you have no objection, your highness, I will call upon her this evening.” Celestia smiled again.

“I’m sure my sister would greatly enjoy the chance to meet you, Blade Star,” she said. “In a way it is fortunate that you will be here for a little longer than I hoped. It would have been a shame for you all to arrive and depart without meeting her.” I got up from my seat.

“Indeed it would, your highness,” I agreed. Then, with a quick nod to the solar alicorn, and after wishing everyone else a good night, I headed out of the dining room and made for the throne room.

Chapter 12 - A Conversation with the Moon

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Leaving the dining room, I did my best to find my way back to the throne room. Not an easy task, I can tell you! It’s bad enough that all the corridors look the same, but at night, the castle took on a completely different look altogether. The once bright, sunlit hallways were now somewhat darker, lit only by the light of the full moon, and the odd lantern placed at intervals.

The whole place was quiet too. Most of the staff had gone home for the night. Given how quiet it was, the place ran on what looked to be a skeleton crew in the night hours. It took me about half an hour in the end, but I managed to, after coming across my suite, find my way back to near the dining hall, and from there to the large double doors that led into the throne room.

The castle may have been quiet, but it was still pretty well guarded. Of course, with the change in shifts, the pegasi had now been replaced by thestrals. I’m not entirely certain what to call them. Thestrals was the term I was familiar with. A lot of people back on Earth suggested that ‘bat pony’ was something of a slur. I didn’t want to inadvertently refer to any of these guards by the pony equivalent of the n-word. I made a note to ask Twilight at some point. That was just one on a long list of questions I had for the little alicorn.

Walking up to the large double doors, I felt a fair amount of trepidation. Both thestrals were somewhat larger than me, and looked damn imposing in their armour. This only increased when, as I approached, they extended their wings to block the way in. I even heard the sound of the wing tip blades whistling as they were drawn. I stopped dead in my tracks as I found myself staring into two pairs of yellow, cat-like eyes.

“Who goes there?” asked the guard on the left in a deep, baritone voice. I’m fairly convinced that Celestia must feed her guards gravel to get them to sound like that. Summoning up my courage, I did my best to reply in a confident tone.

“Blade Star,” I replied in my British accent, it seemed as though my brief drop into Applejack’s accent was just a fluke. “I’m a guest of Princess Celestia. I would like an audience with Princess Luna.”

I wasn’t sure of the protocol here. For all I knew, there was a whole boatload of procedures I skipped. When my parents visited Vatican City a few years ago, they had to apply for a pass just to stand in St. Peter’s Square for an audience with the Pope, along with a few thousand others. And here I was, asking for a one to one meeting with the Princess of the Night.

The two guards looked me over for a moment, clearly checking me over to see if anything was amiss. Just because the princesses are powerful alicorns, able to see off all but the most grave of dangers, doesn’t mean security should be lax. After a few moments, the two nodded to each other in agreement, and relaxed their wings.

“You may enter,” the other guard said.

With that, the pair, as their daytime counterpart had before them, opened the two large doors and allowed me inside. Stepping through the threshold, the doors soon closed behind me, presumably to give me some privacy.

As soon as the doors closed, I became acutely aware of how quiet it was now. I used to sit outside on a clear night back home. You didn’t hear anything except the nearby stream, and perhaps the sound of grass tearing as the cows munched away. It was like that now. The normal hustle and bustle of court had died down. Now all that remained was the sound of my hooves clicking on the marble floor.

I stepped forward, and quickly turned my attention to the throne. And there she was; Princess Luna. She was sitting on the same throne that her sister typically occupied. I later learned that plans were in the works to completely redesign the throne room to include two thrones. These however, would not begin for a couple years. For the moment, the two sisters had to share.

The dark blue alicorn was sitting on the throne, wide awake. She was quite beautiful in person. While Celestia gave off a more motherly vibe, Luna was a little different, seeming more graceful and reserved. Right now though, I wasn’t much fussed with that. Her gaze was fixed on me, her teal eyes boring right into my soul. I knew from watching Season 2 that Luna could be intimidating, but I wasn’t really prepared for meeting her in person. Feeling slightly uneasy, I advanced to the foot of the dais. She watched me all the way without a word.

As I came to a stop, I offered a deep, sweeping bow, as I had to Princess Celestia. The alicorn still made no move or reply, and merely continued to stare. I felt like a kid called to the Head’s office.

“Good evening, Princess Luna,” I said, hoping that I wasn’t committing a faux pas by speaking first.

Luna’s neutral face held a moment longer before she at last broke into a smile. I felt a wave of relief wash over me. For a brief moment I feared that I had either offended her somehow, or that for whatever reason, she was in a foul mood. It would indeed be a shame if Best Princess turned out to be a case of ‘never meet your heroes’.

“Good evening, my little pony,” she said in a soft, soothing voice that had just a hint of Rarity to it. “And tell me, what brings you to my court at such an hour as this?”

I was slightly surprised at her response. I knew that she had been back from her exile for over a year now, and she had been doing her best to adapt. However, there was a part of me that hoped she still spoke in her more old fashioned Equestrian dialect. Although I don’t think I could handle the Royal Canterlot Voice. In any case, I smiled back at her, and felt just a little more at ease. After all, I was still addressing one of the most powerful ponies in Equestria.

“My name is Blade Star, your highness,” I said. Luna nodded in understanding.

“Ah yes, the unicorn that is not a unicorn,” she replied with some intrigue in her voice. “My sister told me about you and your family. But what brings you to my court?” I thought for a moment about what I was going to say. Truth be told, I’d been rehearsing this the entire walk over here. But like most battle plans, it had not survived first contact.

“I thought it only right to call on you, your highness,” I replied, feeling my heartbeat increase a little. “After all, you are just as much a ruler of Equestria as your sister. And I had personally hoped to meet you.”

“Oh?” Luna said, raising an eyebrow. I made my move.

“Am I correct in assuming that Princess Celestia told you about the ‘show’ that’s found in my world?”

Of all the characters in MLP, Luna was the one that the majority of fans were….shall we say, enamored with. Despite her few appearances, she had had a big impact on the fandom. Personally, she was my favourite princess, and one of my favourite characters overall.

“You are, young Blade Star. Although I confess it is a strange idea, even for the likes of me and my sister.”

“Well, your highness, on my world, many who watch that show admire you greatly. I count myself among them. Many people admire your character, as well as your night.” Luna smiled wryly.

“Intriguing,” Luna said. “I take it that the same applies to my sister.”

“Nowhere near as much, your highness,” I replied, with a smile of my own. Celestia may have her own fans, but the number paled in comparison to Luna’s. “Of the two princesses, you are by far the most popular.” Luna hummed.

“Perhaps when we find you a way home, I shall visit this world of yours. It would be pleasant to be the more popular one for a change.” She smiled down at me. “And please, call me Luna. I detest such formality between two ponies.” I bowed.

“As you like, Luna,” I responded. I found myself squeeing internally. The alicorn got to her hooves.

“My court is quiet for the moment. And it will be a few hours before I must begin walking the dream realm. If you wish I shall show you my observatory. You would be better able to view the night from there. And the two of us can hold a less formal conversation.” I was a little caught off guard by the sudden gesture.

“Th-thank you, Luna,” I said hurriedly. I honestly hadn’t expected this. “I am honoured.” Luna smiled again as she strode past me. She really was quite beautiful in person. I said that already didn’t I?

“Follow me, Blade Star.”

And so, I followed.

Luna led me out of the throne room the same way I had entered. As we passed through the double doors, the two thestrals on duty snapped to attention for a moment as the alicorn passed by.

I was quite surprised by the sudden turn of events. Sure I had no qualms with this happening, but I’d figured I’d simply introduce myself to Princess Luna, explain a bit about the fandom, try not to embarrass myself by fanboying too much, and then go on my merry way. The idea of being invited to her private observatory was quite the ego boost.

As we walked I noticed something odd. I’d fallen in step behind the princess, to the right and half a step backward. That was the way a junior officer in the military accompanied a superior. Luna too, seemed to quietly take note of that.

We took a different route to the way I had come. This time I did my best to make note of landmarks where I could, starting to form a mental map of the castle in my head. Before too long, I found myself standing in front of two double doors. While not as large as the ones that led to the throne room, they were nonetheless intimidating. Both were a dark blue in colour, not dissimilar to Luna’s coat, and were emblazoned with the image of a crescent moon. Once again, it was guarded by two thestrals, who, after briefly inspecting me, opened the doors and let us pass.

The architecture now changed noticeably. Gone were the long corridors. Now I faced a large set of stairs, sufficient probably to impress the evil King Sombra. They went up in a spiral pattern, so I assumed that we were entering one of the towering spires that made up Canterlot Castle. I knew from the show that both princesses had their own tower, and Luna often stepped out onto her balcony to raise the moon. It was a shame that I’d been having dinner while that was happening. Hopefully I’d get to see the process at some point.

Luna led me up the stairs, which seemed to go on for quite a while. I’m not terribly unfit, but nor am I in the best of shape. By the time we reached the landing at the top, I was pretty close to beat. Luna in contrast, courtesy of her alicorn strength, was barely winded.

Here we came across one small set of doors, which presumably led into her observatory. In the place of the crescent moon, these doors had a telescope motif.

“Here we are, Blade Star,” Luna declared. Activating her magic a moment, she unlocked the door and let us inside.

The interior of what one might call her study was impressive to say the least. These were not her personal chambers mind you. This was more a place where she worked during the night hours when she wasn’t in the throne room. There were several desks, all covered in parchment, scrolls and quills. There were also charts of the night sky, with the various constellations marked out and annotated. Finally, at the far end of the room, placed just in front of an open window, was a large, and undoubtedly powerful telescope. Luna stood beside me a moment and looked around the room. She frowned.

“Hmm, it seems that our servants have not been in here yet,” she said, with some slight annoyance. “I was hoping to provide you with some refreshment. But come, let us indulge ourselves in a spot of stargazing.”

She walked over to the telescope, and I followed. It was a magnificent thing, hoof crafted no doubt, and extremely intricate. Equestria seems to be in an odd spot in terms of technology, showing some signs of modern tech that we would be familiar with, but also being in a more Renaissance period too. This telescope seemed to be the latter, rather than the former.

Luna leaned down and placed one eye against the eyepiece. Adjusting a few of the knobs with her magic, she fine-tuned the device for the clearest possible image. A moment later, she reared her head again and took a step back.

“Please,” she said, gesturing to the instrument.

Carefully, I stepped forward. Being shorter than Luna (next to her, I was about eye level with her neck), I had no need to lean down. I simply took a look through the eyepiece.

The telescope appeared to be focused on a particular constellation, although it bore no resemblance to anything I was familiar with. I quick swivel around showed no Big Dipper, no Ursa Major (well, apart from the one living in the Everfree), no Orion. The whole sky was somewhat alien to me. And here I was, standing next to the mare responsible for it all. Who better to put my questions to? Before I could however, Luna spoke up.

“Why don’t you examine some of the constellations, Blade Star,” she suggested. “If you will excuse me a moment, I will go and search for one of my servants to brings us a drink. I shall not be long.” I offered a slight bow as Luna departed, leaving me alone in the room.

I spent a few minutes more looking through the telescope, even using it to examine the moon in more detail. It was quite clearly not the same moon that I normally knew. That put to bed the idea that Equestria was just a very prehistoric or post-human Earth. However, after looking from east to west a couple of times, I began to wonder where the princess had gotten to.

Pausing in my observations, I took another look around the room. I spotted one thing that had eluded my previous observations. In one sort of nook in the far corner of the room, there stood a piano; a miniature grand is what I think you’d call it. I’d not realised that Luna was any kind of musician. Trotting over, I examined the instrument.

Like everything else, it was high end, although I sincerely doubted that the keys were ivory. I wasn’t much of a player myself; Lizzie was the more musical one, in fact she did play the piano. Still, I made an effort. Gently placing a hoof on one of the C keys, I pressed down with a hoof. That resulted in a jumbled mess of notes. A hoof after isn’t really suited to such fine work like fingers or magic are.

Still, I persevered. It took some effort, but after a while, I learned to use the corner of my hoof to strike one key at a time. With a little more practice, I was able to play the opening of ‘Ode to Joy’.

There was one piece that I could play though. I’d actually memorised the key combinations as a party trick back in university. I was able, as a human at least, to play Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata’ with some skill. That, took a bit more work. Particularly when you consider the complex movements required even with hands. Still, after about ten minutes, I was able to play it and, with the moonlight streaming in, began to lose myself in the music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Tr0otuiQuU

It wasn’t until I heard somepony clearing their throat behind me that I realised that Luna had come back from her errand. I quickly jumped out of my skin in surprise. And I was a little worried that I was in trouble for messing with her personal possessions.

“Oh…erm, my apologies, your highness,” I stammered out. Luna however, smiled.

“No apology is necessary, Blade Star,” she replied soothingly. "I merely wished to offer you a drink.”

She turned to one side, revealing a tray, with two glasses and a large bottle of a clear liquid.

“It required a trip to the castle’s vaults,” she went on. “But I was able to locate some of my ancient moonshine. I reserve it for special occasions.”

Moonshine? As in hillbilly firewater? I was surprised at that. We’d never seen anything more than cider and root beer in Equestria. Although given the show’s rating, that was hardly surprising. Still, I wasn’t much of a drinker; whiskey was usually enough for me. Moonshine would probably take my head off. Luna evidently saw where my thoughts lay, for she let out a laugh.

“Do not think this to be some deadly concoction brewed in some peasant’s still,” she explained. “My moonshine is brewed from the moonlight itself. I assure you, it is quite palatable. My sister has the annoying habit of serving it to various dignitaries to ‘liven up’ an evening.” I relaxed at that.

Activating her magic again, Luna filled both tumblers halfway, before replacing the cork on the bottle. Lifting one in her own magic, she made me to join her.

“Come, we can talk out on the balcony,” she said. I made to follow her, but paused in an effort to pick up my glass.

I’d sort of mastered using my two front hooves to hold things. But holding something and walking with it was another matter. In all my attempts, I’d just fallen on my face and felt like a fool. Luna paused in her stride and turned back to see me struggling to balance the glass in my two front hooves. One eyebrow went up in surprise.

“Blade Star,” she said with some confusion. “You are a unicorn. Why don’t you use your magic to hold your glass?” I felt myself blush in embarrassment.

“Like you said, Luna, I’m not really a unicorn. I’ve managed to accidentally use my magic once or twice, but I can’t use it on command like you ponies can.” Luna thought for a moment, before examining me, her horn glowing softly.

“Well, it seems that you have magic inside of you, and unicorn magic at that. But you are like a foal, and don’t yet know how to manipulate it.” I grinned bashfully at that.

“Twilight didn’t have much time to teach me anything when we were in Ponyville, and since I’d hoped that we’d be going home before long, it seemed a waste of time to learn.” Luna looked down at me and smiled knowingly, a plan forming in her mind.

“Perhaps I can offer you some insight?” she suggested. My inner brony jumped at that offer, and I quickly agreed.

Setting down her own glass, Luna sat down next to me and began her ad hoc lesson.

“Magic, as I’m sure you’re aware, Blade Star, is an unusual force. It is a part of us all, yet separate, it takes many forms, and yet all comes from one primordial source. Magic is a tool that sometimes has a mind of its own. As a unicorn, you have the power to manipulate magic to some degree, in this case, by using it to levitate and manipulate an object. Think of it as another limb. Just as you move those with a thought, you can do the same with magic.”

In other words, use the force, I thought to myself with a smile.

“So I should just reach out like I would with a hoof?” I asked. Luna shook her head.

“Not quite. Visualise what you want your magic to do, and it will endeavour to accommodate you. The more focused the image, the more precise the result. As time goes on, such things will become second nature to you, and it will be as if you simply possess another, invisible limb.”

And so I did my best to concentrate on the idea of the glass levitating off of the tray. I didn’t try to force it, I just did my best to focus. Initially, nothing happened. But after a few more moments, I heard the signature sound of wind chimes that told me unicorn magic was at play. I watched as the glass was surrounded by a dark blue aura, somewhat darker than Luna’s or Rarity’s. Very slowly, the glass began to rise. Luna smiled.

“Not bad,” she commented with no small amount of approval. “Now try and get the glass to move with you, so we can walk out onto the balcony.”

And that, my friends, is where it all came a bit unstuck. I took a step forward, and envisaged the glass moving with me. But to my surprise, the aura around the glass vanished, and it dropped back to the tray, although luckily it didn’t shatter or crack. I meanwhile, suddenly found myself encased by my own magic, and was lifted off the floor and inverted, like Twilight had been in the Crystal Empire. I let out a very stallion-like scream at that. Luna giggled at my plight, only making me blush more.

“How do I get down?!” I half-shouted as the blood rushed to my head.

“Calm yourself, Blade Star,” Luna reassured me. “You are in no danger. Just relax yourself and allow the spell to stop naturally.”

I did as I was told, and a few moments later, my magic fizzled out, just as it had before, and I dropped back onto the ground with a thump.

Getting back on my hooves and rubbing the back of my neck, I looked up at Luna. She was smiling down at me, her form bathed in the light of the silvery moon. I found myself wondering how such a kind pony could become Nightmare Moon. Had I not seen her dark transformation for myself, I would not have thought it possible.

With some assistance from Luna, I was able to pick up my glass and walk with her out onto the balcony. It was still a tricky experience. The closest analogy I can think of is when a young girl tries on heels for the first time. You feel ever so wobbly.

The pair of us sat and talked for some time out there. Luna asked me what I knew about her. I did my best to recount all the knowledge I had at that point. Her duties relating to the moon, her tragic fall to darkness, and the resulting exile, followed by her return and reformation. We also chatted about her dream walking ability. I don’t often remember my dreams, I’ve certainly never experienced anything like lucid dreaming, which Luna used with Scootaloo.

And of course, we talked about the show, and her part in it. I talked a little about some of the fan works inspired by her character; the art, the music, the many stories. I must confess I stayed far away from the subject of…well…you know. I didn’t think it right or proper to discuss Rule 34 with a princess.

We also went through a fair few glasses of moonshine. It was actually quite pleasant; akin to good sake perhaps, but with a quality I can’t quite describe. I wasn’t buzzed, but I was more relaxed that I had been when I first stepped into the throne room.

As the night wore on, we even talked about the moon and humanity’s first step into space. I must say, never in my wildest fantasies did I imagine myself laughing and joking with Princess Luna.

Eventually, I heard the bells down in Canterlot proper strike two.

“Wow, I didn’t realise how late it was,” I said, suddenly feeling a wave of tiredness wash over me. I’d been up since dawn after all.

“Let me take you back to your quarters, Blade Star,” Luna offered. Here though, my British sensibilities stepped in.

“Oh no, you don’t have to do that, Luna,” I replied. “I can find my own way.”

“Nonsense!” she responded hotly. “It’s the least I can do for a friend.”

It took all of my willpower not to jump up and down on the spot like Pinkie Pie. Princess Luna, the Princess Luna, a pony I admired almost above all others, considered me a friend. My inner brony went into absolute overdrive. Luna undoubtedly noticed.

The alicorn princess led me back down the stairs and through the same twists and turns, until we arrived in front of the door to my suite. On the way back, in contrast to the way I’d followed her before, I found myself walking side by side with her. I did my best to thank her.

“Luna,” I said. “I can’t thank you enough for such a pleasant evening.”

“One of my many duties, Blade Star,” Luna replied. “Is to connect with my little ponies. And I would enjoy your company again, while you are still in the castle. Feel free to seek me out.” I bowed slightly.

“Most kind of you, princess.”

I headed back into my room, while Luna made presumably for the throne room or her own chambers. I was tired. But one thing I wasn’t was fearful. While I had had to hear some hard news today, I no longer felt the same fear and apprehension at being stranded in Equestria. In fact, as I climbed into bed and lay down to sleep, I don’t think I gave that particular problem a single thought.

Chapter 13 - Chaos

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Since I’d fallen into the habit of getting up early on Sweet Apple Acres, it was no surprise that I found myself waking up not long after the dawn broke. Coming to, I blinked a few times to clear my vision. My head, while not in agony, definitely had a few twinges that weren’t there the night before. I chalked that up to the moonshine I’d enjoyed. It might have tasted like sake, but it kicked like whiskey.

I sat up in bed with a start as the memories of last night came flooding back. I’d gone and met with Princess Luna, who had taken me up to her tower for a spot of stargazing, along with moonshine and conversation. She’d helped me unlock the beginnings of my magic. A quick thought and I found the clock on the bedside table next to me floating in front of my face. It was certainly a nice surprise to find that it wasn’t all a dream.

And then there was the small matter of Luna herself. She’d called me a friend; something I knew her to be somewhat selective about. I still couldn’t quite believe that it had all happened as I remembered. It seemed too good to be true.

Getting out of bed, I did my best to make it up and save the castle’s staff a bit of trouble, before heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Like a hotel, there were a few basics provided for me. Using my magic, I picked up the toothbrush and set to work. It’s a little hard to describe. It wasn’t like having my hands back, but I had just as much control and feeling through my magic as I would if they were. I was a little clumsy at first, but soon began to pick up on finer motor control.

I repeated the practice on a mane brush as I smoothed out my mane. It was a little long at this point. I wondered what ponies did about that. Did they have barbers and hairdressers in Equestria? I knew Rarity styled hers no end. Yet another little thing to find out about.

Stepping out of the bathroom again, I felt distinctly more confident. I could use magic now, at least, enough for everyday activities not to be a chore. I did wonder though how powerful I was. Back home, I wasn’t especially strong. Did that carry over to my magic? Of course, I knew I was no Twilight Sparkle, but I was rather curious to know just where I stood on the scale between foal and alicorn princess.

My musings and brief delusions of grandeur were then interrupted by a knock at the door. Trotting over, I used my magic to grasp and turn the handle, still enjoying the relative novelty of the act.

I expected to meet another of the castle’s maid or butlers, or possibly one of the stone faced guards. To my surprise though, I found myself staring at someone noticeably further up the food chain.

While the pony that stood before me had a blue mane and a white hide, he was far from your common or garden Royal Guard; it was Shining Armor. I was quite surprised to see him if I’m honest. Sure we’d met briefly the day before, but I figured that he had better things to do. Actually, I was a little surprised that he wasn’t up north in the Crystal Empire with his wife.

Still, it seemed he was here now, so I did my upmost to be civil with him.

“Captain Shining Armor,” I greeted, offering a small nod of respect to the captain of the Royal Guard. “What brings you this way?” Shining’s expression was fairly neutral, just as it had been the day before.

“Princess Celestia wanted somepony to bring you to the dining room for breakfast,” he said. “I volunteered.” I was taken aback by that.

Still, I was ready to go. So I stepped out into the hallway and motioned for the captain to lead on. As I had initially done with Luna, I found myself naturally falling in behind and to his right, a couple steps behind. The two of us walked in silence for a time before I struck up a conversation.

“I’m surprised that the commanding officer of the Royal Guard came just to take me to have breakfast,” I said offhandedly. Shining glanced back.

“I was hoping to talk with you,” he said, in a somewhat more friendly tone. “I wanted to ask you some questions.” I decided to have a go at being clever.

“No,” I said. That caught Shining off guard. He turned back to me again with a whinny.

“What do you mean?” he demanded. I did my best to hold back a grin.

“Your first question, captain,” I replied. “We are not here because of some secret plot to take over Equestria, nor do we have any intention of harming its citizens.”

It seemed logical that that would be Shining’s first question. I’m actually a little surprised that the subject didn’t come up when we met with Princess Celestia. I could see where he was coming from. If an alien showed up on my doorstep, I’d probably assume it was the vanguard of an impending invasion.

As it turned out though, my deduction was faulty. I guess I’m no Sherlock Holmes.

“Good to know, Blade Star,” Shining said with a smile. “But I was actually going to ask you about this ‘television show’. Twiley told me about it after the four of you were settled in. I was wondering where I fit into it.”

I felt my face heat up and was thankful for my now slate grey coat that hid the blush for the most part. That’s what I get for trying to be a smart arse I guess.

“Oh…erm…right,” I said, as my ears flattened themselves against my skull. “Well, you were introduced to the show just before your wedding. That’s also where we met Cadence, and Queen Chrysalis.”

I felt a small amount of bile bubble up in me at the mention of the changeling queen. I didn’t as a rule mind the other villains of the show. But Chrysalis really drew my ire and, laugh if you must, I’d always felt a slight desire for revenge against the fictional shapeshifting bug.

Sometimes I think I get too caught up in the fandom for my own good. I forget it’s just a show.

Well, it used to be.

I shook that particular thought from my mind and continued.

“We saw you next with your wife during the defence of the Crystal Empire, when you took that hit from King Sombra to save the others. And of course when you threw Princess Cadence to save Spike and secure the Crystal Heart.”

Shining smiled at the latter part of my statement. He’d certainly acquitted himself better then than during the changeling attack. Although to be fair, the bug queen had pretty much left him without his usual abilities.

“So I show up a few times then, do I?” he asked as we turned a corner.

“A few episodes, yes,” I replied. I half wondered if this itself was an episode. Hell’s teeth, what if I’d accidentally triggered a season finale episode or something?

The two of us continued to talk as we made our way to the dining room again. I got the guard captain to fill in a couple blanks in his own story. And by the time we reached the dining room, we were chatting quite amicably.

Opening the door with my magic, something Shining noticed instantly, I found the rest of my family and both princesses sitting at the table. The group all looked up from their meals and conversation at our entrance. Of particular note was Lizzie. I couldn’t help but notice that her eyes seemed to wander towards Shining Armor and linger a little longer than normal. Lizzie always used to poke fun at my love for MLP. Was she now taking a fancy towards Shining perhaps?

I laughed inwardly to myself. I doubted it.

Trotting inside, I found that the only vacant seat was next to Dad. He and Twilight were on one side, while Mum, Lizzie and Luna were on the other. Princess Celestia meanwhile, sat at the head of the table. With a brief nod to the princesses, Shining withdrew to return to his duties.

I quickly jumped into my seat at the far end. There was quite a spread set out for us. And to my surprise, there was even some meat. In hindsight though, that made some sense. The princesses occasionally had visiting dignitaries, such as griffons, who included meat in their natural diet. As tempted as I might be, the very thought of eating meat now left a bitter taste in my mouth. It was a strange effect of taking in this form; one of my favourite foods, pork sausage, was now entirely unpalatable. Conversely, I did now have a taste for dandelion sandwiches.

I helped myself to some toast and orange juice, as well as some pancakes. Dad had grabbed a few of those for himself too.

“These are pretty good aren’t they, lad,” he said, with his mouth full. I caught Mum giving him a stern glare for his trouble.

“Well what do you expect from some of the best chefs in Equestria, Dad?” I replied. I knew for a fact that Celestia had damn near an army of cooks at her disposal, mainly due to her cake…shall we say habit rather than addiction.

“I’m sure they’d do a bang up job too,” he replied with a smile. “But it was actually Princess Celestia here who cooked them.”

I was a little taken aback at that. I knew there would be things about Equestria and its inhabitants that I didn’t know, but I wasn’t expecting to encounter a gap in my knowledge so soon. Celestia…a cook? Like I said before, I knew she loved her cakes, but I never thought her a cook.

“I always like to do a little bit of breakfast myself, Blade Star,” Celestia explained. “Just to show both my servants and my guests that I care. And that I’m not above rolling up my sleeves when the occasion calls for it.”

I took a bite of one of the pancakes on my plate. They were, I must confess, excellent, even if they were of the American style. Our little group continued to chat as we ate.

“You guys all have an okay night?” I asked my three family members.

“Well, we all at least managed to get to bed before two in the morning,” Mum said jokingly. “Princess Luna was just telling us about meeting you the other night.”

“And it also explains were that bottle of the thirty six went,” Celestia added. “Luna, I was saving that for when the Saddle Arabian ambassador visits.” Luna tossed her head haughtily.

“You really shouldn’t hoard my moonshine so aggressively, dear sister,” she replied. “I am more than happy to produce more when required. So I see no harm in sharing a bottle or two between friends.”

“I think my son’s head might disagree with you there, princess,” Dad said. The somewhat increased volume of conversation was worsening my existing headache.

“You know what they say,” Mum said, jumping on the bandwagon. “If you can’t handle the hangover, do not over indulge.” I decided to get her back.

“Yeah, says the woman who giggles after half a glass of wine and falls asleep after a whole one.”

All of us burst out laughing at that. It felt good. For the first time since we got here, we were all together, all relaxed and enjoying ourselves. You’d never have guessed that we were stranded here and cut off from our home.

Eventually, the conversation turned to what we’d be doing today. Tomorrow, we’d all be heading back down to Ponyville, and we’d no longer have to worry about keeping away from prying eyes. That would be an interesting little experience. But for now, we had a brief reprieve. Dad already had plans.

“So you’re sure you don’t have any objections to me observing you in court, princess?” he asked. Celestia smiled maternally and shook her head.

“Not at all, Roger,” she replied. “It will be nice to have some company for a change, and it will give you a chance to see if it is something you would be interested in.” I reminded myself that Celestia had, sort of, offered Dad a job working for her if he wanted it.

“Fair enough,” he said with a nod, and dabbing his mouth with a napkin. “What about you, dear?” Mum looked up.

“I thought I might head down to Canterlot today,” she said. “Before we left, Rarity recommended a couple of places that might be able to help us out with our clothing situation. She’s been very kind helping us, but I don’t want to make the poor girl do the three of us an entire wardrobe each. I guess I can take a few…bits was it?” She looked over to me, and I nodded. “I can take a few bits down and get a few things set in motion.”

“How about you, Lizzie?” I asked. My little sister had been fairly quiet so far. I think she was missing Fluttershy a bit.

“I was going to hang out with Twilight today,” she said. “She’s going to spend some time with her brother, and I thought I’d tag along.” Ah, so perhaps there were some grounds for my suspicion. Well, I knew a couple female bronies who were sweet on the guard captain. And don’t even get me started on Big Mac.

“And what about you, Blade Star?” Celestia asked, turning to me. I paused for a moment and thought before an idea popped into my head.

“If you have no objection, your highness,” I said. “I wouldn’t mind taking a walk around the castle gardens.”

There had been a few benefits of my recent transformation. Two of these stood out in particular. Firstly, my vision; back home, I was long sighted and had required fairly strong glasses all my life. That, I could live with; I actually found it a little odd not to feel the frame sitting on my nose and ears, and that when I woke up I could instantly see clearly.

The other benefit though, and if I’m honest a far more important one, was the fact that in this body, I no longer had hay fever. True the allergy had gotten less and less as I grew up, but for three weeks in July and August, I was of no use to anyone. It was presently mid-June. By now I was normally getting some early symptoms. But despite walking around the pleasant countryside for a week with hardly any rain, I hadn’t sneezed once. I can’t say how brilliant that is.

Consequently, given that there was still a chance we may go home, I wanted to enjoy the situation while it lasted. I’d always enjoyed nature, but until now, my body hadn’t particularly cared for it. And the Royal Gardens, if Fluttershy was to be believed, was some of the most remarkable in all Equestria.

Princess Celestia smiled, seemingly pleased with my choice.

“Of course you may,” she said. “Spend as much time there as you like.” With that, the princess got up, prompting us all to do the same out of respect.

“Roger, if you’d like to follow me, we can make a start.”

Dad nodded and promptly followed her to the door. Twilight paired up with my sister to go and find Shining, while Luna took my mum to one side, offering to escort her into town before she went to bed. After all, while it was half eight in the morning for us, to her, it was getting late.

I meanwhile, found myself accompanied by a guard and was shown the way to the gardens; a simple enough route accessible by one of the castle’s main thoroughfares. After a short walk, I found myself outside, walking down stone steps and onto a gravel path. From there, the castle gardens were spread out before me. There had to be a least a couple acres or so behind the castle, and it all looked to have been turned into a mini reserve.

Thanking the pegasus guard for bringing me here, I trotted down the path and walked up to the medium sized fountain that sat in the centre of the gardens. I decided that, to start with, I’d look around some of the more enclosed areas. I knew from Season 2 that there was also a hedge maze to get lost in for a while. After that, maybe I’d just find somewhere to sit and watch the world go by. It was just a shame I didn’t have a good book on hoof.

I spent the rest of the morning and a bit of the early afternoon too, walking around the gardens. It was strange to be in such a place and not be struggling to breathe, see, or stop sneezing. Seriously, those three weeks of the year used to be the worst of my life, even on prescription meds. For the first time in over twenty years, I could roll in the grass, smell the flowers, and just enjoy the beauty and harmony of it all.

And let’s not forget all the animals that lived in the gardens. Every now and then I’d spot a squirrel or songbird, although I knew there were plenty of more exotic animals in here too. But this was no petting zoo, and I wasn’t about to make the same mistake Fluttershy made at the gala and end up having a nervous breakdown. Though I must confess it was rather nice to see all the animals up close; another little advantage of no longer being a predatory species.

Eventually though, I decided to go a little further afield. Walking over to a large wrought iron gate, I opened it and let myself back into the main garden, with Canterlot castle sitting behind me in the background.

I recognised this area in particular. This was where the various statues of Equestria’s heroes were. The vast majority of these, I didn’t recognise. Although names like Starswirl the Bearded stood out. I took it all as an opportunity to expand on my own canon knowledge. Among the names I didn’t recognise, there was Flash Magnus, a pegasus, Rockhoof, a towering earth pony with a touch of Viking to him, and Mistmane, an ancient looking unicorn that sill somehow managed to seem beautiful.

I was fascinated by all these ponies, and did my best to learn what I could from the small plaques on the base of each statue. As I walked though, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched. As far as I could tell however, I was alone, apart from a couple of gardeners and guards.

At length, I found that I’d come to the far end of this part of the gardens. And there was one statue that I recognised instantly. It was no pony, but a mishmash of all sorts of creatures, woven together to create a serpentine form. Its expression was one of shock and fright, with both its arms, a talon and lion paw respectively, held out in front as if to stop something. Any brony worth his salt knew this fruitcake, it was Discord.

Hang on a minute…

I’d previously asked myself when I was in the show’s timeline. In fact it had been one of my first questions when I’d first realised that we were in Equestria. Upon coming to the old castle in the Everfree Forest, I’d gone down and found the Tree of Harmony, with all the Elements in its branches. And Twilight was now an alicorn, so I knew I was in the present.

So what in the wide, wide realm of Equestria was Discord doing still encased in stone? He ought to have escaped, been defeated, then released and reformed by now. And yet here he was still encased in stone. Had I made a mistake? Was this world’s version of Equestria slightly different to my own? I was perplexed.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I said, half to the statue and half to myself. “There shouldn’t be anything here. This doesn’t make any sense.”

And with that, I got the shock of my life.

“Make sense?” a voice asked. “Oh what fun is there in making sense?”

I damn near leapt out of my skin. The ‘statue’ had seemingly come to life and was now leering down at me from its pedestal. With a snap of his talons, Discord disappeared for a moment, before reappearing right next to me, startling me again.

I’m not going to lie, I was frightened. And with good reason too. Discord was supposed to be reformed, sure, but that didn’t make him any less terrifying. He stood about six and a half feet tall; taller than the princess or my dad, and far taller than me. However, after he appeared beside me, he coiled himself down to be nearer my height and partially encircling me.

“My, my, what do we have here?” he asked, regarding me curiously with mismatched red and yellow eyes. I quickly backed away.

“Stay the hell away from me, Discord!” I snapped, my fear actually pushing me toward anger. The draconequus was unfazed.

“Ah, so you know me then?” he asked. “Well, that’s certainly surprising.”

“I also know you’re reformed,” I went on. “And Princess Celestia will have your head if you hurt me!” Discord held up his paw and claw.

“Simmer down, dear boy. I’m merely curious.”

Snapping his talons, he produced a magnifying glass and proceeded to examine me closely, while I remained rooted to the spot. I wasn’t too comfortable with such an examination. But could I expect anything less from Equestria’s version of Q, and its newest and least trustworthy ally?

“Curious about what?” I asked, my initial fear giving way to annoyance.

“Why you, my little pony,” he replied tapping me on the nose with a paw. “Though I think we both know that isn’t true. You’re no more a pony than I am.”

“True,” I replied warily. “And I’m not from around here either.” Discord got up and folded his arms.

“Hey! I’m supposed to be the cryptic one!” he snapped back. “Well, let’s see what we can find out about you. Hmm, well, you certainly aren’t usually a unicorn, and you aren’t used to having magic. You definitely aren’t from around here. And yet you recognised me right away.”

“You’re…somewhat famous where I come from,” I replied. “I don’t mind the odd bit of chaos in small doses. Your exploding chocolate milk was inspired.” Discord smiled and offered a deep bow.

“Oh, I try, I suppose, I try,” he said with false modesty.

At the moment, a thought occurred to me. The princesses had no idea how we’d gotten here, but Discord might know. He had magic that was just as powerful, if not more so than an alicorn. Our arrival here could be all his doing. I decided to try and find out.

“So as the undisputed master of chaos,” I said. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about how me and my family got here, would you?” Discord now looked slightly offended.

“Goodness, no,” he replied, sounding serious for once. “There are some things even I don’t dabble in unless really necessary.” I eyed him suspiciously.

“Besides,” he went on, now with a mischievous smirk on his face. “If I did, don’t you think I’d have picked somepony just a little bit more interesting?” I growled irritably at that, letting him get under my skin, although it did suggest that he genuinely had no part in bringing us here. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

I was about to shoot back a scathing retort at the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, when, with a snap of his talons, he disappeared in a flash of light, just like old Q. I let out a sigh of relief. I don’t think I’d been so scared and annoyed at the same time in my whole life. Discord might be amusing on the screen, but not so much when you’re exposed to the effects of his chaos magic yourself. I took a breath, copying the technique Cadence had taught Twilight, in an effort to calm down. It probably would have worked too, had Discord not reappeared a moment later. This time, he was dressed in a crumpled raincoat over a suit and tie.

“Oh, there’s just one more thing,” he said in an appalling impression of Columbo before switching back to his normal voice. “Did you say something about a family?” My eyes bulged. It was enough getting them used to the idea of talking ponies.

“You stay the hay away from them, Discord!” I warned, pointing a hoof at him.

With a smug smile, the draconequus disappeared a second time. I snorted irritably. All I could do was hope that each of my family members were with somepony when that trickster showed up. I may have told them all a fair bit about Equestria, but I hadn’t mentioned Discord.

In any case, I was now no longer in a mood to relax in a beautiful garden. Making my way back up the steps, I decided to go and find Princess Celestia to let her know what happened, or at the very least Twilight. Discord may still be Discord, but I knew that he could ultimately be brought to heel. If all else fails, we could get Fluttershy up here to give him a stern talking to.

Heading inside the castle, I made my way first towards our three suites, to see if any of my family members were there. If not, then I could try the throne room, or ask some of the guards if they’d seen Twilight.

As I passed by my own door though, I couldn’t help but hear a faint sound coming from within. It only lasted for a moment, but I still picked it up with my equine hearing. My ears twitched at the sound, trying to pinpoint it. It sounded like a table or cupboard being moved across the floor, but only for a second or so. Curious, I opened the door to take a look.

The room was empty; at least, it appeared that way at first. And by empty, I mean entirely empty. All the furniture was gone; the bed, the desk, even the large wardrobe. A moment later though, I realised what had happened. The floor looked a little off, the tiles seemed to be different. It took me a second to realise that the ‘floor’ was actually the ceiling. Looking up, I found all the furniture hanging from the ceiling. Somehow, Discord had used his magic to turn the entire room upside down.

At that point, no amount of calming techniques would save me, I just lost my temper.

“Discord!” I bellowed angrily.

And wouldn’t you know it, somewhere, I could hear that insane god of chaos laughing at me.

Interlude 1 - Dad in Day Court

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Note: Just a reminder - this interlude takes place from the perspective of the protagonist's father.

Following Celestia out of the breakfast room, we both set off toward her ‘Day Court’. From what I could understand from my son’s inane ramblings, she acted as a sort of Court of Appeal open to all. In that sense, the whole judicial system of this dimension, universe, or wherever the hell we were in, was quite archaic.

Where I’d grown up had gotten pretty rough and tumble lately. More business of course, but it’s sad to see your childhood home take a nosedive. Here, at least based on what I’d seen so far, crime was all but non-existent. While the odd crime would be brought up, she was effectively a legislator in her own right. There was nothing similar to the Commons here, just these two ‘princesses’. I suppose this made our new home an absolutist monarchy. Actually, given that there were two of them, I suppose the correct word would be diarchy.

While this was a fair bit to wrap my head around, it was blown completely out of the water by magic. I’d told both the kids stories about magic over the years, but to see it actually be used, and not be just a clever parlour trick was astounding. It’s even weirder to have your own son use it on you while you’re having an argument. While I knew no one here had any untoward intentions, I couldn’t help but be slightly fearful of these magical creatures. From the stories my son had told me, there were villains here, and they were far more dangerous than many of the ‘villains’ I had met.

Hell, the worst case I’d seen was a mick horse slaughterer who’d got in a fight with his brother and took his head off with a meat cleaver. That was messed up and sick of course, but to know that there were shape shifting creatures that could suck the love out of you, chicken headed monsters that’d turn you to stone and wolves made out of wood. It filled me with a sense of fear. Yet my own son was skipping about like he’d found Narnia.

We neared a large ornate door bearing the symbol of the sun. Celestia paused and turned to address me briefly. She was one of the few creatures I felt safe around. While I knew she was one of the most powerful creatures here, I felt no reason to fear her. Above all else it was nice to be able to look someone in the eye.

“Right, Roger,” she said. “Beyond this door is the throne room you were brought to yesterday. I’ll take my place on the throne, and you shall sit next to me, the guards know what to do. Feel free to ask me questions between cases but please follow a couple of rules.” I nodded. She assumed a more regal posture.

“First, do not interrupt me during court, and if you do speak, address me as ‘your highness’ or 'Princess'.” I nodded. “Second, obey all the instructions of my guards. And finally, regardless of how things would be done on your world, this is Equestria, so do your best to accept any discrepancies. I know you were most confused by our lack of a council.” She smiled again. “I hope you will find this a rewarding experience.”

“Thank you, your highness,” I replied. “I shall do my best to follow your rules and not get in your way too much.” Inside, I was a little annoyed. I didn’t like having ground rules set for me like some six year old. But to be fair, she was a princess and she did not know how I might have reacted, so I silently forgave her.

I found myself, as we stepped through the doors, back in the throne room we had all found ourselves in yesterday. The room was very much like the Hall of Mirrors in Versailles, consisting of a single long corridor leading to the dais and the throne. Hanging from the rafters were huge banners. It sort of reminded me of the Great Hall from the Harry Potter films, God knows I had to sit through them enough times.

A trumpet blared as we entered and the various guards snapped to attention. An impressive show of discipline if nothing else. The Princess, for that was who she now was, took her seat on the throne, a high backed chair, lacking the legs of a human seat. She bid the guards to be at ease.

One of them brought a similar, smaller high backed chair for me, though this one was modified to account for my bipedal stature. Following old protocol, I remained standing until Celestia had taken her seat.

“Let Day Court commence!” The Princess proclaimed. And with that, the guards opened the two vast doors that previously barred entrance to the throne room.

What I saw took my breath away. There had to be at least two hundred of these equines waiting outside. And I thought a day with a dozen cases was busy! The Princess leaned over to me and explained that each ‘petitioner’, I noted the terminology, would be brought before her individually, be permitted to speak their piece before she, after consulting with her advisors, would pass judgement.

The first of these ‘petitioners’ was a regular pony, without horn or wings. An ‘earth pony’ if I remember the lecture I got from my son. He wore a style of clothing, as did most of the other petitioners that simply said ‘Look at me, I’m rich!’ I suppose in a non-democratic society it was natural for a rich, land owning class to still exist, and for them to get priority in speaking to the nation’s rulers through court intrigue. Celestia again leaned over to me.

“This is Filthy Rich,” she said, it took a great deal of effort to not burst out laughing. “He’s actually from Ponyville, and runs a chain of stores there. He’s actually more tolerable than most.” I wondered what he would want from the Princess.

Reaching the steps of the throne, he bowed to the Princess and greeted her. He sounded a little like that earth pony my son had been lodging with, Applejack I think it was. His case revolved around business, namely, his desire to expand his ‘Barnyard Bargains’ store into Canterlot.

“Princess, while my stores are renowned across Equestria, I think it is a crying shame to not have one here in Canterlot. It will improve the supply of Zap Apple Jam from the Ponyville region no end. I already have a contract with the producers. I just need your consent to build the store in the city, and possibly set up a private outlet in the castle,” he said. I feared this was only part of his presentation.

I was right, about three minutes in he’d brought out flip charts and pie graphs. I thought presentations at the Law Society could be tedious; this was a whole new level. Even the guards were struggling to stay awake. Only the Princess remained unaffected.

After he had gone over profit margins, the effect on his operations elsewhere, the cost of building a new store and innumerable other things, he at last, to my great relief, shut his trap. At first his Kentucky accent had been pleasant to listen to, but after over an hour I was sick of it. The Princess cleared her throat to offer her judgement.

“Mr. Rich,” she began. “You have clearly put a great deal of thought and time into this project. And your proposal would benefit Canterlot as a whole, particularly some of the poorer areas of the city. However, Barnyard Bargains is a rural store is it not?”

“Erm, well yes, your highness, it is. But I would like to show I am more than able to keep up with city life,” he offered.

“And what of your family? How will they cope with a father constantly moving around the country? You travel around a great deal already. I would be inclined, were I in your shoes, to be more concerned for the welfare of my family, than for any business.”

This seemed to flip a switch in his mind. In an instant, the whole aura of professionalism and savviness vanished. As if he was remembering something. He then quickly bowed, thanked the Princess, and took his leave.

“What was all that about, Princess?” I asked.

“He has a little filly to take care of. He’s been throwing himself into his work for some time. That’s the third time he’s come here this month. I just gave him a nudge in the right direction.” She smiled as the Earth pony hailed a cab at the castle gates. She then called on the guard to bring in the next case.

The next case was a little strange to say the least. While the first had lasted for just over an hour, this one, by my watch, took no more than a minute.

Another earth pony entered. This one was bright pink and happily bounced up to the throne. It took a moment, but I recognised her as one of the ponies that we had met in the forest when we first arrived. And in spite of her happy personality, this one was truly disturbing. The only advice I had been given by anyone on this world was to accept whatever happened when she was around, and to not question it.

As a result, neither of us spoke up when she bounded up to us and leapt behind the throne. A loud clattering sound came from there, as if there was a huge storage area or a cupboard.

“Oh, I know I left it here last time,” she muttered. “Let’s see, eye patches, mirrors, tangerines, Twilight’s cane, beach ball. Ah ha, there’s my party canon!” She returned carrying a small pink canon. “Thanks, Princess.” And with that, she headed out.

“I’ve learnt with Pinkie, it best to just let her be,” said the confused princess. Nevertheless, court was held up for ten minutes while a contingent of guards looked behind the throne for wherever Pinkie had hidden all that stuff.

When at last things calmed down once again, we were able to let the next petitioner in. After about two dozen different issues were sorted out and settled by the Princess, she called the customary lunchtime recess. I was certainly thankful for a break. I was running on near empty and I’d taken down so much in notes my hand was starting to cramp.

I was expecting more of the same after the recess ended and we returned to the court. However, our next petitioner was not what you’d call normal. I’m not sure if he was even sane. It all began when a loud, angered voice rang through the halls of the castle.

“Discord!” the voice called. It sounded somewhat like my son.

At that moment, a light appeared in the centre of the throne room. This prompted the guards to take a protective stance, four of them moved around the Princess. I on the other hand was left to fend for myself, but then again, I was not ruler of this land.

The light finally dissipated to reveal the strangest, maddest and most frightening creature I have yet to see in this country called Equestria. The thing was serpentine in appearance with a long slender body and was slightly taller than me. It was a mismatch of various animals. I could see parts from a goat, equines, reptiles and others I could not hope to identify. But the worse thing about it was its eyes. They were a sickening yellow, with bright red pupils; they weren’t even the same size as each other. It was as if one was in light and the other in dark, reacting differently.

This being was howling with laughter, as if its’ arrival marked the single funniest thing in the universe. I looked to the Princess for guidance. The look on her face spoke volumes. Whatever this thing was she disliked it, with a passion. She continued to stare at it as its’ laughter finally died down.

“What have you done now, Discord?” she asked. For the first time, I heard the beginnings of anger in her voice. The creature replied in a voice that was oddly familiar.

“Oh nothing much, Tia. Just causing a little bit of chaos. That and I had to meet the newest addition to your little realm.” He paused and looked at me. I won’t lie, I was frightened. He sidled up to me and leaned around my shoulders. “Well, well, there is more than one after all. Honestly Celestia, you should have told me we had such interesting guests.” The Princess shot him a look.

“Leave him alone, Discord. He is my guest here and you are clearly frightening him.” That bruised my ego a bit. “Roger’s kind has never encountered us before, never mind a draconequus like you.” So that’s what this ‘Discord’ was.

“Oh don’t be so scared, I’m harmless really. Besides, the other one didn’t seem to mind me. We were having quite the chat.” That explained the previous cry.

“You will leave them all alone, Discord. They are going back to Ponyville tomorrow where you will be unable to bother them.” Discord immediately started.

“There are more of them.” He hugged the Princess, drawing a scowl from her. “Oh dear Tia, why didn’t you say so before?” And with that he snapped what appeared to be talons and vanished.

“What was that?” I asked as my fear subsided.

“That was Discord; he’s the spirit of chaos and disharmony. Until recently he was my sworn enemy. Now though we are working on reforming him, though I must confess, with mixed results. I’m sorry that frightened you, but he actually isn’t dangerous, just chaotic.”

I was calmer now, and began to reorganise my notes, while the guards returned to their former positions along the wall. Petitioners were once again brought in, but I couldn’t help but occasionally cast glances at the stained glass windows that showed the story of Discord. I’d have to ask the boy for a little bit of background on him. Hopefully, he wouldn’t make it into yet another lecture.

At five o’clock the last petitioner was heard, a simple theft case, and one of only two criminal cases in the entire day, the other also being a misdemeanour. I’d learnt a fair bit since I’d got here, several times in between petitioners the Princess asked me how a particular incident would have been handled back on Earth. She seemed to serve a variety of roles, from magistrate to planning officer and a hundred roles in between, as well as a ruler. It amazed me that she could do so much for so little reward. I’d certainly have a fair bit to talk about this evening.

Chapter 14 - Return to Ponyville

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So, as a result of Discord’s…antics, I no longer had anywhere to sleep. Or rather, I did, only I couldn’t reach it anymore. Unless I suppose I tried that self-levitation trick Twilight used in King Sombra’s castle, but I doubted I could keep that up, not all night long, and certainly not while I was asleep. So I needed to do something about it.

Walking inside the seemingly empty room, I looked up at the furniture that was currently plastered to the ceiling, or rather, the floor which had now become the ceiling. As I said before, I was actually on the ceiling right now. The carpets, along with everything else, was above my head.

Well, I suppose this was a good opportunity to test my magic, I thought to myself. I knew I had magic, but I was a little curious to find out how powerful I was. Magic, as I already knew, relied on both strength and skill. I knew for a fact that, no matter how good I got, I would likely never be a match for Twilight. At least, not without using some crazy artifact that messed with your head like a certain unicorn once had. Still, Discord’s little prank would make a good test.

Reaching out with my magic, I took hold of one of the bedside tables. At first, I tried to pull it down back to the ground, but that seemed to have little to no effect. The table, which I ought to be able to lift easily enough, remained firmly stuck. I cut off my magic and paused to think for a moment. Discord was chaotic, as was his magic. So logic would play little part in solving any problems he created. I was trying to recover the bedside table by pulling on it. But given how everything was seemingly inverted, perhaps I ought to try the reverse?

So I did. This time, I tried pushing the table, as I was trying to lift it over my head, rather than pull it down to my level. And wouldn’t you know it, slowly but surely, it began to float down to me. It was hard work; like pushing it up a hill. It didn’t help that the suite had quite high ceilings. Still, in the end, I got it down to me and rotated it to be right side up. With a sigh, I let my magic fizzle out.

The moment I did that, the bedside table shot back up into the air, slamming into the ceiling with a thud. I winced at the impact.

“Well that makes a whole lot of sense,” I muttered to myself irritably. Why had that happened?

It took a few minutes, but I managed to work it out in the end. The whole room had been inverted. The floor itself, along with everything except the doorway in, was now where the ceiling ought to be. And when I tried to pull down the bedside table, it had been as if I was lifting it. The only idea that made any sense, and conformed to Discord’s love of chaos, was that gravity within the room had also been inverted. Down was up and up was now down, hence why everything stuck to the ceiling.

Well, I hadn’t the slightest idea how to undo any of that. I could use my magic to pick things up, open and close doors, and that was about it. Undoing crazy chaos magic was more an alicorn’s beat than mine. Closing the door, I was about to head out to look for one. Celestia was in court, Luna was most likely resting, but Twilight should be free. She was with Shining Armor and Lizzie somewhere, though where in particular I had no idea.

I was about to trot down the hall and hunt up a guard to ask, when I heard a pair of voices coming down the hall. I recognised them to be just the pony, and human, I was looking for.

“So how did you like Shining, Lizzie?” Twilight asked as she trotted alongside. My little sister looked to be a little spaced out, lost in thought.

“Or, erm, he was really nice, Twilight,” she replied, sounding just as out of focus as she looked. I was so going to use this against her next time she made fun of me for liking MLP. The two of them looked up as I cantered up to them.

“Ah, Lizzie, Twilight, thank goodness I ran into you,” I said. I turned to Twilight “I ran into your pal Discord in the gardens Twilight. And now that psychotic jerk has turned my room literally upside down.” Twilight balked at that before groaning and putting a hoof to her face.

“Argh,” she exclaimed. “He promised Princess Celestia that he wouldn’t do that after that incident with the Mareitanian ambassador. Let me see if I can help.”

The three of us walked over to my door, which I’d closed as I left. As I put my hoof on the door, I couldn’t help but hear that same sound of magic again. Don’t tell me…

Opening the door, I was half relieved and half annoyed to find that everything had gone right back to the way it was supposed to be. The only exception being that one of the bedside tables, the one I’d tried to move, now had a minor crack on it from ‘falling’ onto the ceiling when I let go of it. Lizzie took a look inside.

“I don’t see anything wrong with it,” she said, with puzzlement clear on her face.

“Hmm, me either,” Discord said, leaning down next to her. I think the both of us clocked what was wrong at the exact same moment.

Lizzie screamed and, like me, all but leapt out of her skin at the sight of the draconequus. She quickly scrambled behind Twilight, who flared out her wings to both offer her protection and some form of intimidation. Discord meanwhile, simply hovered in the air, his mismatched wings flapping, and doubled up in laughter.

“Oh, you should have seen your face!” he exclaimed, pointing at the now frightened girl.

“Discord!” Twilight snapped. “I was hoping that you could use meeting these ponies as an opportunity to make some friends, not terrorise them!” Discord stopped his laughter and landed on the floor.

“Why, Twilight,” he said with an air of dignity. “I’ll have you know that I’ve every intention of making friends. One of the key precepts of friendship is the ability to take a joke. You should know that.”

“Jokes that scare ponies aren’t funny, Discord,” Twilight replied with a frown. “True, there’s nothing wrong with friends playing pranks on each other. But doing it when you know they don’t like it will only harm a friendship, and it will ultimately leave a pony alone.” Discord smiled now, with an air of nostalgia.

“Ah, you’re so much like Celestia, Twilight,” he said wistfully. “Sometimes I think I only drop by to listen to these wonderful speeches of yours. In any case, Blade Star’s room is just how he left it; no harm, no foul.”

“Thank you, Discord,” I said, hoping to placate him a little. He smiled as he turned to me.

“You are most welcome, dear boy,” he replied, before snapping his talons and disappearing.

I spent the next half hour explaining everything to my little sister. After all, her first encounter with Discord had been a bit of a scare for her. Twilight and I did our best to reassure her that he meant no harm, and that he was more or less reformed. Still, I hoped he didn’t bother us too much. Discord was nice in small doses, and behind a TV screen, not so much in person. Although I have to admit, it was quite clever how he managed to literally invert gravity just to mess with me.

The three of us spent the rest of the afternoon in the library. Twilight had been meaning to go there to look at some of the new additions that had arrived. It also gave me and Lizzie a bit of an opportunity to brush up on our reading of written Equestrian. Our spoken language might be the same, but the written word shared few similarities.

It also gave me a chance to look at a spot of lore; things that the show never went into much detail on. I found the hours passing quickly as I buried my snout in a book on the fundamentals of magic. If I was going to be a unicorn long term, I might as well learn just how this horn on my head works.

It also gave me a chance to reflect on this short trip. So far, I’d met both princesses, become something of a friend to one of them, and garnered the attention of the physical incarnation of chaos. And it’s not even been a week since I got here. What fun times I live in.

Seven o’clock saw all of us back in the dining room for dinner. We were treated to an excellent meal, as before. We all happily chatted about what we’d done with our day. After all, all of my family, myself included, had been fairly busy.

Firstly, there was Dad. He’d spent the entire day sitting next to Celestia while she held her court, quietly making notes and comparing it to our own system of government. He now had pages upon pages filled with scribblings. While there were some glaring differences between our world and Equestria, he said that for the most part, it wasn’t too different from Britain; a monarchy at the top, supported by a democratically elected government. Their laws, while they may use different names, were more or less similar to our own, although, due to the more harmonious nature of Equestria, serious crimes were few and far between. He’d also taken the opportunity to have a conversation with the princess during the lunch recess, and had firmed up her offer of employment as an advisor on matters of law. Twilight had quickly jumped in and offered him access to her library back in Ponyville to help him study and fill any gaps in his knowledge. There were of course a few things he was a little unsure about; he was still a little perplexed about the legal differences between ponies and cattle or sheep, the latter still being effectively animals, rather than citizens.

Mum meanwhile had been down in Canterlot, and had returned, along with a couple of overloaded guards, with plenty of new clothes, specially made for herself, Dad and Lizzie. She’d even found a halfway decent tailor apparently where Dad could get some suits made. With his new job all but in the bag, he’d certainly need some to look professional.

Before she’d gone down into the city proper however, she’d had a chance to talk with Princess Luna, who was kind enough to lead her down, along with a couple guards. The pair had fallen into conversation about a fair few matters, with the subject of me coming up at one point. Much to my annoyance, it seemed that Mum had been swapping a few stories with the lunar princess. In particular, the subject of bronies had come up. I know for a fact that all three of my family members thought I was a bit weird. If I’m honest, sometimes I do too. Still, it was a little annoying to have Luna poking fun at me with fandom references. But then again, what had Discord said about taking a joke?

As for Lizzie, she’d spent the day with Twilight. They’d gone to visit the castle libraries in the afternoon, which was how they met up with me. But in the morning, Twilight had gone to visit her older brother, or BBBFF, as she put it. She’d introduced him to Lizzie, and the two really seemed to have hit it off. While she insisted that they were simply friends, I couldn’t help but laugh silently as she tried to hide that dopey smile of hers. While I doubted she was attracted to him, I knew for a fact that Shining was a pretty nice guy. After all, he had managed to catch the eye of the Princess of Love herself. I chalked it up to a harmless little crush, although I did make sure to drop in the fact that he was married. Now if only I could pass on my condolences to the members of One Direction.

With that, our conversation turned to what would be happening tomorrow. We’d be going back to Ponyville bright and early, just after breakfast. Celestia would accompany us and explain the situation to the townsfolk. Hopefully, the presence of their beloved monarch would help allay any fears about the ‘aliens’ among them. But then again, look how they all reacted whenever Zecora came into town. According to the princess, xenophobia was still a problem in Equestria, one she had spent many years trying to correct. For the most part it was simply ignorance, but there was a small minority who was openly hostile to other races. I silently hoped that there was nopony like that in Ponyville.

With dinner over, our little group began to break up to pack and get an early night. However, before I headed off, I felt that it was a good idea to talk with Princess Celestia, and let her know what was going on with Discord. Reformed or not, I didn’t fully trust him, and I was a little concerned that he might continue to bother my family in Ponyville. As we all headed our separate ways for the evening, I approached her.

“Excuse me, your highness,” I said. I still wasn’t too comfortable calling her Celestia to her face; it was like your old school headmaster asking you to call him by his first name. “Could I have a word?”

The white, swan like alicorn looked down at me and smiled for a moment.

“Of course, my little pony,” she said. I did my best to resist the urge to squee.

“I just thought that I should let you know that I ran into Discord today.” Celestia frowned at that.

“I thought as much,” she said, mainly to herself. “Discord came to my court today as well to annoy your father. I imagine that it’s merely his idle curiosity. Although I would have preferred to introduce you all to him after you were settled in Ponyville. I suppose you know a little bit about him as well.” I nodded.

“A few details, your highness,” I replied. “Twilight and the others turned him back to stone, and you later had them reform him. He’s now quite friendly with Fluttershy, who can more or less bring him to heel.”

“Then it may be the case that you should seek out Fluttershy if he does bother your family,” Celestia suggested. I agreed and bowed briefly before departing.

Heading back to my room, I decided to get an early night. It would be a somewhat early start tomorrow, and I didn’t want to be formally introduced to Ponyville with bleary eyes and bedmane. So, with the night drawing on, I climbed into bed and let sleep take me.

I’d set my alarm to wake me up bright and early at half past six. That seemed like a good enough time to wake up, come to, brush my teeth, get dressed and be ready to head back to Ponyville.

It wasn’t however, early enough for one Twilight Sparkle. As on the day we’d all left to come to this glimmering city on a mountain, I found myself levitated out of bed, courtesy of her magic. This time though, she was kind enough not to drop me.

Given how important today was, we were all going to be introduced to all of Ponyville after all, Twilight was being…well, Twilight. She’d already packed and repacked her bags a few times as a coping mechanism, but without Spike on hoof to help her calm down (after all, somepony needed to look after the library in her absence), she’d been running through checklist after checklist, trying to account for every possible contingency. Everything from what to do if the meeting went smoothly, to what we would do if the crowd broke out the torches and pitchforks and tried to kill us.

“Twilight,” I said, putting a hoof on the bridge of my nose. “How likely is any of that to happen? Princess Celestia is going to be with us. Even if something did happen, she wouldn’t let any harm come to us. Your friends are going to be there as well. Just relax.” Twilight however, simply continued pacing up and down my room.

“Blade Star, how can I relax?!” she exclaimed. “You’re going to effectively be introduced to all of Equestria today! What if I say the wrong thing, or what if somepony tries to hurt any of you? What if Princess Celestia thinks I’m failing as a princess and sends me back to…”

“Magic kindergarten?” I finished, giving her a deadpan look. That got her to stop her verbal tirade. I took a breath and did my best to try and calm her down, putting a comforting hoof on her shoulder.

“Twilight, do you remember the last time you got this stressed over something? If I recall correctly, you actually made things worse through a misapplication of a ‘Want it, Need it’ Spell. You can’t control how ponies are going to react to all this, you can however, reassure them. They trust you, just as they trust Celestia. Just focus on that that. Que sera, sera; what will be, will be.”

My little speech did seem to calm Twilight down. It probably helped that I spoke from experience. While I’d never inadvertently caused an entire town to become obsessed over a doll, I did know what it was like to get stressed before a major event. To be honest, I was probably just as stressed about it all as Twilight was. The only difference was my coping mechanism; find someone who’s more stressed out than me and take care of them.

With a little work, I was able to get the alicorn calm enough to go and have breakfast before we left.

After we’d all had breakfast and packed everything away, we were pretty much ready to head out back to Ponyville. We’d be going by air once again, with my family and Twilight in one chariot, and Princess Celestia following in her own personal transport. And of course, there would also be a few guards along for the ride as well. The princess may be an immensely powerful alicorn, albeit one too frequently subjected to the Worf effect, but she still had security protocol to follow.

As before, we took breakfast with her. Luna, sadly, had gone to bed early this morning; apparently it had been a busy night for her, with a few nightmares to quell. Still, it was nice to go over a few things with Celestia before we departed. At the end of the day, this whole introduction would have to be handled very delicately. Like I said before, just look at how Ponyville reacted to a zebra. Celestia outlined her plan to us.

“Once we take off from the castle,” she was saying. “I will use my magic to place an illusion spell on the chariot. That will effectively make you invisible to any passers-by. I’ll keep it up when we touch down in Ponyville, and then, one by one, you can step out of the chariot, where you’ll be visible again. That will allow us to introduce you one at a time.”

“That makes sense, Celestia,” Dad said with a nod of agreement. “What about crowd control though? You said before that the whole town will turn out to see you visit. Even if all goes smoothly, you’re still going to have a lot of ponies wanting to meet us.”

“Hence the guard detachment,” Celestia explained. “They will form a cordon around you. While it will be safe enough to let a few ponies get close, they will stop you from being rushed by a crowd.”

“Hopefully it won’t come to that,” I said, bringing a bit more optimism to the table.

“You know that saying, son,” Dad replied. “Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.”

That was really all we could do. How ponies reacted was entirely up to them, as I’d said to Twilight.

After breakfast, we collected what few possessions we had, and were escorted by guards to a sort of landing pad. In human terms, it was similar to a heliport I guess. This was where all the castle chariots took off from and where they were stored when not in use.

The five of us were led over to a fairly large model, similar to the one that had brought us here. After loading our luggage, we all climbed aboard, with Twilight using her magic to help Mum get up the high step.

Nearby, there stood Celestia's chariot. Well, it was more like a throne with wheels on it really. It was ornate with emblems of the sun dotted around the chassis, and was pulled by two pegasus guards. The large alicorn climbed aboard and settled herself down. We too prepared for take-off. This time at least, hopefully, Mum wouldn’t scream all the way there.

“Okay, is everypony ready?” Twilight asked. We all nodded.

The little alicorn nodded to the princess, who returned the gesture. Activating her magic, I saw her horn light up with a golden colour. A moment later, the air around the open top chariot shimmered for a few seconds. To us, there was no change beyond that, but a quick check with a nearby guard confirmed that, from the outside, the chariot now appeared entirely empty.

With our little security measure in place, the two crafts took off. Celestia’s personal vehicle went first, accompanied by a small flight of guards, who formed a ring around her. We meanwhile, brought up the rear. After flying straight and level for a few minutes, we began the steady descent down towards Ponyville.

It was a short flight back down the mountain. Ponyville slowly grew larger and larger as we dropped down toward the ground. I could see the town, with Town Hall in the centre. I could even make out Golden Oaks Library if I squinted. Off to the side, I could see the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres, and further south, the dark and foreboding Everfree Forest. We were going to set down in the main square, right in front of Town Hall. There wasn’t really anywhere else to set down, unless you wanted to be outside of town.

Drawing nearer still, I could see a large mass of colour around town hall. The better part of a hundred ponies were gathered outside the building, evidently waiting for our arrival. Slowly, the indistinct blobs became clearer, and I began to recognise the odd pony here and there, including a certain grey pegasus.

By now, we were all but skimming over the treetops and roofs of the town. We’d be landing any minute. I felt my heartbeat kick up and my stomach began to feel a touch queasy. I wouldn’t have too much to worry about; regardless of my origins, I still looked like a pony. A few ponies in town would even recognise me. Mum, Dad and Lizzie on the other hoof, they’d have a bit more work to do.

Our two crafts landed and quickly came to rest in the centre of the crowd. Ponies bowed as the princess stepped down. After a few moments letting the crowd quiet itself, Celestia began to speak.

“Greetings, my little ponies,” she said, her voice loud, but a far cry from the Royal Canterlot Voice, and still holding that same motherly undertone. “As I’m sure you are all aware, the Everfree Forest has been at the epicenter of some unusual activity as of late.”

The crowd murmured in agreement. Between the occasional pack of roving timberwolves, cockatrices, cragadiles, and that terrifying Ursa Major, the forest had caused more than a few problems for the residents of Ponyville.

“Two days ago, a group of creatures were brought before me and my sister, having been found inside the forest. They have come from a land beyond Equestria, indeed, even beyond our world.”

That caused everypony to kick off. Question upon question was being shouted at Celestia. How many were there? Where did they come from? What did they want? Were they good or bad? You know, the usual sort of questions when you effectively announce the existence of aliens. Of course, Celestia could hardly answer any of them. The noise was so loud that you couldn’t even hear yourself think. She took a moment before raising her hoof.

“Please, everypony!” she called out, in a voice ringing with authority. “Please allow me to finish.” The crowd once again fell silent.

“I have spoken with these creatures myself. I can assure you that they are no threat to us. There are only four of them, and they are a family; two parents, and two children. They are lost, and stranded here for the time being, and I have offered them sanctuary in Equestria.

“Three of them are from a species known as ‘humans’.” At this, I heard a startled gasp from somewhere within the crowd, followed by some quiet, excited whispering. “The other has been altered by magic, and now appears to be a unicorn. As different as these creatures might be, I ask you to do all you can to help them and support them, while I, along with my sister and Princess Twilight attempt to find them a way home. Treat them as friends, and I can assure you that they will respond in kind.”

As she paused, ponies began to quietly talk again. The fear had gone out of the crowd, replaced more by curiosity than anything else. Celestia continued.

“So, without further delay,” she said. “Let me introduce you to Equestria’s newest citizens. Blade Star, if you wouldn’t mind?”

That was my cue. Taking a deep breath, I stepped down from the chariot. I passed through the slight haze which represented the invisible barrier that had previously hidden us all from the crowd. All I could think was one thing.

Show time.

Chapter 15 - A New Life

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Stepping out of the carriage, I found my hooves softly touching down onto the soft, green grass of Ponyville. It felt good to be back. In spite of the short time I’d spent here, I’d come to regard the little town as the closest thing to home. Of course, to me, home really was still back on Earth. But I thought of the town, and in particular Sweet Apple Acres, as a sort of home away from home. I knew people, or rather, ponies here. I didn’t feel like a stranger.

Still, that didn’t really help much when I saw the reaction I got. I’d expected all sorts of responses, but the whole crowd going into a sort of stunned silence wasn’t particularly high up the list. You could hear a pin drop as I stepped down, the sound of my hooves hitting the ground reverberated around the square. I guess it was more built up anticipation than fear, but it was still a little uncomfortable. I was well aware that I was now going to have to explain both who and what I truly was. Mum, Dad and Lizzie had the advantage on me there, being completely new to Ponyville’s little world.

I looked over to Celestia, looking for some sort of prompt. The white alicorn smiled softly over at me and gently nodded her head. I guess I had to introduce myself. I ought to have practiced on the way over here. This was like your first day at a new school, standing at the front of the glass, introducing yourself to all the other students, cliques and groups. Personally, that’s not an experience I’d care to repeat. Still, needs must. I couldn’t stand here like a muppet now could I?

I opened my mouth and was about to start my little spiel, when Apple Bloom of all ponies broke the brief silence that had settled over the town. Jumping up onto a nearby table to be more visible, and with her friends flanking her on either side, she posed her obvious question.

“Princess Celestia,” the little filly called out, catching the alicorn’s attention, along with the rest of the assembled crowd. “How is Blade Star an alien? He’s a pony.”

It made sense of course. I hadn’t outright lied to Apple Bloom, but I had lied by omission. All I’d said was that I was far from home and trying to get up to Canterlot. I’d never said anything about being a pony or not. Still, I didn’t like the fact that I had to pull the proverbial rug from under the filly.

“That’s not quite true, AB,” I called out, prompting her and everypony else to look at me. I felt the same shock of well over a hundred very large pairs of eyes staring at me. “I’m sorry for keeping it under my hat, but I didn’t want to make a fuss or scare anypony. I may look like a unicorn pony now, but until a week or so ago, I looked just like the rest of my family; a completely different species. I don’t know what caused it, but something turned me into what I am now.”

Celestia nodded at my concise explanation, while Apple Bloom and the other Crusaders looked at each other and began to talk amongst themselves trying to work out what this all meant. Apple Bloom in particular seemed oddly pensive. Big Mac soon lumbered over to her and put a reassuring hoof on her shoulder. He was no doubt just as thrown as anypony else. But given his nature, it was hard to tell what he was thinking.

Looking over at the pair though, a thought occurred to me. Where was Applejack? Amongst the crowd, I could see Twilight’s other friends; Spike, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, who was muttering something about how she knew that ‘those monkeys’ would come visit if she waved at them enough, and Rainbow Dash, who was hovering a couple feet off the ground to get a better view. Applejack though, was nowhere to be seen. It seemed odd that she wouldn’t turn up to something as important as this, particularly when you consider that she was sad to see me go.

My thoughts were cut off as Celestia began to speak again. I was quite happy for the attention to be taken off me and transferred to somepony more comfortable in the limelight.

“Now,” she went on. “You can meet the rest of Blade Star’s family.” She turned to the still seemingly empty chariot. “If you would all come out now.”

My dad was first out, followed by my mum, who he helped down with a hand, and Lizzie who got a carry for her trouble. Celestia briefly activated her magic and removed the invisibility spell that had previously kept them hidden in the chariot.

The assembled crowd, Twilight’s friends excepted, all let out one combined gasp of surprise. It was a miracle they didn’t turn the square into a vacuum. Now there came the stunned silence. Luckily though, as before, there was a pony willing to break it. This time it was Lyra, although rather than talking to any of us, she simply turned to Bon Bon and said.

“Hah! I told you they were real, Bon Bon! Who’s the crazy pony now then?!” While it was nice for the town’s, and indeed Equestria’s, only anthropologist, if fanon is to be believed, to be vindicated, her excited comments did start a chain reaction.

Now you could feel the instinctive fear and alarm in the crowd. After a moment’s pause, like standing in the eye of a storm, it all kicked off. I couldn’t tell you who had the first question in.

All at once, ponies began shouting questions, at Celestia, at Twilight, at me, and even a few at my family. The noise was utterly deafening. My own ears pressed back against my skull in an effort to block out the noise, while the rest of my family partially covered their ears with their hands. I’d never been to a football match back home, but I imagine this was what the noise was like.

Celestia called out for ponies to calm down, trying to placate them and waving her hooves in front of her. But the crowd was too excited. They were actually beginning to draw closer to us. Dad even moved in front of Mum and Lizzie to shield them. Luckily, before that happened, Celestia’s patience ran out.

“SILENCE!” she bellowed, for once using the ancient Royal Canterlot Voice that had come to prominence courtesy of her sister.

Despite being only one pony, the shout trumped every other voice combined, echoing around the square long after the crowd had fallen silent. I hadn’t seen her do that since she admonished Twilight at the end of ‘Lesson Zero’.

Instantly the questions and shouting stopped and every pony, human, dragon, and any wildlife that happened to be around, all turned to face the owner of that voice. I gotta admit, that’s a neat party trick. For a moment, I saw a flash of embarrassment on Celestia’s face. She paused and cleared her throat before speaking again, this time in a much softer tone.

“I understand that these creatures are strange, and perhaps a little frightening to some of you.” I had to bite back my laughter at that. The idea of anypony being scared of Mum was just brilliant. “But having spoken with them myself, I can assure you all that they bear no ill will towards ponies or any other species in Equestria. Roger, here, has offered to assist me in my court; an offer I am happy to accept. His wife, Margaret, is a schoolteacher on their world and a devoted mother. And their daughter, Elisabeth has spent the last few days helping Fluttershy care for various animals. These are not beings that wish us harm; they are not our enemies. I ask that you accept them all as friends, and do all that you can to help and support them, until my sister and I are able to find a way to send them back to their home.”

The crowd digested all this information in silence. In spite of all the odd happenings in Ponyville, this was still quite out of the norm for many. As I said before, as much as I am sorry to admit it, many ponies do have a slight xenophobic streak in them. But given how the crowd seemed to be relaxing a little more now, it seemed that Celestia had gone a long way in dispelling such trifles. All we needed now was for somepony to make the first move. I imagined that it would be one of Twilight’s friends, or possibly Mayor Mare. But it was actually somepony quite unexpected.

After a few moments of silence, the assembled crowd parted to reveal Lyra, the mint green unicorn. She’d evidently made her way from somewhere near the back of the crowd, right to the front.

Her expression was…unsettling to say the least. She reminded me of Twilight when she was researching a spell of particular interest to her. Her eyes were wide and she had a big grin on her face. With some small amount of hesitation, she made her way over to my dad, who was now standing, with Mum and Lizzie a few paces away from Celestia. She was a little cautious, but her fear seemed to be trumped by her desire to meet a real human. Honestly, of all the things the fandom got right…

Walking up to him, the unicorn reached out with a hoof and took hold of his right hand. And, with no small amount of care and delicacy, she began to examine it, turning it over in her grip and looking at it from a variety of angles. To be fair to the slightly crazy mare, her approach was very scientific. She examined the structure of the hand, the bones, muscles, nerves. She tested how the various digits moved and flexed, and even squinted to examine the unique swirls and spirals of his fingerprints. While it was a little odd, and perhaps a touch intrusive, it wasn’t beyond the pale. At least, it wouldn’t have been if not for one simple thing. As she performed this careful analysis, she kept uttering one word, over and over again.

“Hands,” she said, sounding as if she were in some sort of trance state.

Her voice was barely above a whisper, but her eyes seemed to light up each time she said it. To be fair, this was her getting vindicated after all the years of ridicule about the existence of humans. It would be like one of those bonkers alien conspiracy nutters finding out that there actually were lizard people who arrived in the pyramids, which were actually disguised spaceships, and had secretly engineered every human conflict from the Hundred Years war to 9/11 in an effort to destroy our species and colonise the planet. At least, I think that’s how one of the wackier theories goes.

And whacky was probably one of several words my dad would have used to describe the unicorn that was currently holding his hand. Well, one of the more polite ones anyway. Mum, Lizzie and I were all doing our best not to burst out laughing at the surreal situation playing out before us. Even Celestia and the guards seemed a little at a loss. Eventually, Dad’s patience began to wear thin.

“Er…can I have my hand back, please?” he asked diplomatically. Lyra made no reply, and when he tried to gently withdraw from her grasp, she just held on tighter.

Trying to not show that he was getting alarmed, he applied a bit more strength in an effort to shake off the mare. Lyra however, just activated her magic instead. She seemed to have gone into a sort of trance, and now had a death grip on him. I swear that under the aura of her magic, Dad’s hand was starting to turn red.

Celestia was just about to take a leap and intervene, when out of the crowd, Bon Bon emerged.

I wasn’t certain how much of what I knew about Bon Bon was true. I knew she and Lyra hung out a lot, but as to the status of their…relationship, that was up in the air. Still, she seemed to be willing to offer some help.

The earth pony mare, no doubt embarrassed by her friend’s actions, awkwardly smiled at us as she walked over.

Reaching Lyra, she shook her with a hoof.

“Okay, Lyra,” she said, trying to keep her voice down and not yell at her friend. “I think it’s time you let go of his hand now. Ponies are starting to stare.” She glared at the still entranced mare.

“Hands,” Lyra muttered, entirely unfazed. Bon Bon snorted. Placing her hooves on Lyra’s shoulders, she tried to pull her off.

“Okay, Lyra.” Tug. “That’s enough.” Tug. “Time to go home now.” Tug

“Hands.”

There was now a sort of strange tug of war going on. My dad on one side, Bon Bon on the other, with Lyra Heartstrings in the middle. Finally, after one more tug, and a solid rap to her horn, Lyra let go and Bon Bon managed to pull her clear. Dad took his hand away quickly, flexing the fingers and checking his wrist. Luckily, nothing seemed to be broken.

Lyra however, remained in her self-induced hypnosis. And so, Bon Bon took hold of the nape of her neck and physically dragged her away, briefly stopping to say sorry before disappearing into the crowd. All in all, the whole thing was over and done with in a few moments, but it felt like an hour.

Still, with the situation in hoof, we all began to see the funny side of it, ponies and humans. Even Celestia was giggling softly behind a hoof. All that was missing was for Bon Bon to put Lyra in a strait jacket.

Luckily for us, that was the catalyst for other ponies to approach us, mostly to apologise. Still, it broke the ice. Before long, Twilight’s friends, along with a few background ponies I recognised had come over to talk with us. I personally found myself talking with Golden Harvest, aka Carrot Top, while Mum and Dad chatted with Zecora. Before too long, the four of us were working our way through a roster of background ponies. I found myself looking around for a certain grey pegasus.

But as I said before, there was one pony who was conspicuous by her absence; Applejack. I’d figured that she was just somewhere in the crowd. But try as I might, I couldn’t see her. Frowning, I made my way over to Twilight, who was hanging back from the crowd slightly with her mentor. The two princesses were chatting together, with the elder princess letting her usual mask slip for a moment.

“Hey, Twilight,” I said, catching the younger alicorn’s attention. “Have you seen Applejack around? I was just looking around and couldn’t see her. She’s not with Apple Bloom or Big Mac, or with your friends.” Twilight paused her conversation and frowned.

“That is a bit unusual,” she agreed. “I’d have thought that Applejack would be waiting for you when you and your family came back.”

“I hope everything’s okay with her,” I said, partly to myself. I’d promised her that, whatever had happened, I’d come back, at the very least to say goodbye.

I was just about to leave the two princesses and go and walk amongst the crowd to try and find her, when Rarity and Twilight’s other friends came over, and at quite a brisk pace to.

“Blade Star, darling,” Rarity said, sounding a little out of breath. “There you are. We’ve been looking all over for you.”

“Is something the matter, Rarity?” I asked. All four of them nodded.

“It’s Applejack, dear,” Rarity explained. “Ever since you left, she’s become so despondent.”

“Right,” Rainbow Dash agreed. “All that pony does is work, work, work all day long since you guys went up to Canterlot.”

“And she hasn’t smiled or laughed even once, no matter how many funny jokes I tell her,” Pinkie added.

Well, that sure as anything didn’t sound like the Applejack I was familiar with. Sure, I would have been pretty sad too if I’d come back here to just say goodbye before heading back home, but she must know I’m staying, surely. I put that question to the girls.

“We all tried to talk to her,” Fluttershy explained. “But all she does is tell us to leave her alone and let her get on with her work. And she looks utterly miserable. She won’t even talk to Big Macintosh or Granny Smith.”

“Please, darling,” Rarity implored. “You’ve got to go to her and snap her out of this funk. None of us can stand to see her like this.”

I was surprised to say the least. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Applejack is no stranger to loss. I figured that she’d be sad to see me go, but that she’d get over it soon enough. After all, I’d only been living with them for a few days. I guess it didn’t occur to me just how much of an impression I’d made on her, and how close I’d gotten with her and her family.

In any case, it was clear that she was in a bad way. And I was the only one able to bring her out of her current mood. If she really was so sad because she was missing me, then my return would lift her spirits.

So, it seemed as though there was only one thing for it. I would have to go over to Sweet Apple Acres a little bit earlier than planned. While it was a bit of a shame to ditch my own welcoming party (although I had it on good authority that pinkie was already planning another one for the four of us), I needed to help my friend first.

After making my way over to my parents, I let them know where I was going, assuring them that I would be back as soon as I could, hopefully with Applejack in tow. Twilight was staying here with my friends, while Princess Celestia and her guards would be returning to Canterlot Castle. As much as the solar alicorn had enjoyed things, it was high time for her to get back to the business of governing a nation. She promised my dad that she’d send him a letter via Spike about his new job.

I left Ponyville just around the same time that the princess did. I caught a glimpse of the two chariots taking off into the sky and heading back towards Canterlot. I of course, was heading in the opposite direction. Well, sort of. Directly south was the Everfree Forest, not a place I fancied venturing into again. But to the west of town was Sweet Apple Acres, and it was on that track that I now found myself. Despite the short time I’d stayed here, and the fact that I’d been away for a couple of days, I found the route was still familiar to me, and I could probably now find my way even if I was blindfolded. Before too long, the old red barn and farmhouse hove into view. I couldn’t help but view the place as home.

It was getting on for mid-afternoon now. The sun hung a little lower in the sky, but it was still a fair ways from sunset. The working day still had a long way to go yet. Sweet Apple Acres was fairly quiet, as it typically was. A few birds here and there chirped among the trees. I even spotted a fruit bat, hanging upside down in one of the branches. But of ponies, there was no sign. Mac and Apple Bloom were still in town, getting to know my parents and my little sister.

That left just Applejack and Granny Smith. It made sense that the elder apple matriarch would still be here. I made my way along the dirt paths and soon found myself standing outside the farmhouse that also served as a barn for the Apples’.

I was lucky that Ponyville was the kind of town where folks seldom locked their doors. Although, having said that, I myself am quite security conscious. The front door was open in any case and I let myself into the kitchen. It was empty.

“Hello?” I called out. “Anypony here?” I received no reply. Passing through the kitchen to the hall, I came to the foot of the stairs.

“Applejack?” I tried again. “Are you up there?” Still, there was nothing.

So I tried the living room. I’d spent a little while here in the evenings reading and chatting with AJ and Big Mac. It was here that I managed to find somepony. Sitting in her rocking chair, snoring quietly, was a sleeping Granny Smith. At her age, the mare needed all the rest she could get.

Still, she was the only pony who would have any idea where Applejack might be. I knew she was on the farm somewhere in one of the orchards, but Sweet Apple Acres was around half the size of Ponyville. Even if I was a pegasus, it would take a long time to search. It dawned on me too late, that I should have asked Big Mac where his sister was. Well, I was here now, so there was nothing for it.

Reaching out with a hoof, I gently shook the elder mare.

“Granny!” I called out, keeping my voice low. Oddly, my new accent began to return as well. “Granny, it’s Blade Star. I need to know where Applejack is.”

At my gentle urgings, Granny Smith stirred, her amber eyes blearily opened and after a moment, fixed themselves on me.

“Wha…Blade Star?” she said tiredly. “Ah thought y’all were headin’ up to Canterlot.”

“Ah was,” I replied quietly. “Me and my kin jus’ got back. Folks in town were sayin’ that Applejack’s been mopin’ somethin’ fierce since Ah left.” Granny let out a brief laugh.

“That sounds about the size of it, whipper snapper,” she replied, coming to a bit more. Poor filly’s been missin’ you since the moment ya left. Ah ain’t seen her like that since before she left for Manehatten.”

“Well, if Ah go see her, Ah reckon Ah might get her spirits up. Can ya tell me where she is?”

“Sure, young un,” Granny replied. “She’s been in the southern orchard all mornin’. Reckon she’ll still be there now, down by the pond.”

That was all I needed to know. Thanking her, I let Granny Smith go back to her mid-afternoon nap. Quietly making my way back out the house, I waited until I was far enough away not to disturb her, and then put on a burst of speed, breaking into a full gallop.

I was a stallion on a mission.

While Granny Smith had given me some idea of where Applejack was, the southern orchard was still a pretty large area to cover. Once again, I found myself wishing for wings instead of a horn. Sadly, as I’m nowhere near as powerful as Twilight, even when she was a unicorn, there’s no way I can self-levitate myself. So, I had to stick to the ground.

I did have one thing to narrow my search down though, at that was the information that she was near the pond. You see, in that particular neck of the woods, there is a large deep pool, which Applejack told me was a mixture of fishing hole and swimming hole for the family. Due to its large size, it constituted a small lake, and consequently didn’t heat up and evaporate even in the high summer. There was another small lake at the opposite end of the farm, but that was the result of a beaver dam, technically making it an artificial as opposed to natural pond.

Still going at a full gallop, evidently this new equine body was in a little bit better shape than my old human one, I soon found myself drawing up to the lake in question. And there I was confronted with a sorry sight.

There was Applejack. She was bucking away at one of the many threes that surrounded the lake. But while her kicks were strong and precise, they lacked the usual passion I’d come to expect from her. Her head was set low as she moved to collect the few apples that had missed the baskets. She just looked so deeply and utterly depressed. I’d never seen her in such a sorry state, not even when Discord corrupted her and made her lie constantly, and turned her bright orange coat into a muted grey. Even her eyes seemed to have lost that usual confident gleam.

I was standing about ten feet away, just below the small hill she was on, on the edge of the lake. She wasn’t really paying much attention to her surroundings and hadn’t noticed or heard me come galloping up.

I hated to see my friend like this. Aside from Luna, or possibly Twilight, Applejack was the pony I had connected to the most in my short time in Equestria. Despite the fact that we came from different walks of life, never mind different worlds, I’d found in her a good friend.

At first I thought about just galloping over to her, but that seemed a bit cliché. Besides, we were friends, not lovers. So I did the next best thing.

As she moved the baskets around to the next tree, I quietly made my way up the hill to join her. With her head hung low, combined with the wide brim of her Stetson hat, she wouldn’t see me. I watched as she kicked out hard at the tree, though still with a mechanical quality that didn’t befit a mare of her skill and passion. As she moved to pick up the few stray apples, I lifted one up in my magic, startling her for a moment as the apple levitated in my dark blue aura.

“Here, let me help ya with that,” I said in my soft Appalachian accent that living with the apples had given me.

Applejack looked up and let out a surprised whinny. In an instant though, her green eyes fixed on my own brown ones. As if by magic, and quite possibly it was, her demeanour changed completely. That spark came back and she smiled almost as wide as Pinkie Pie could. Such things warm any stallion’s heart.

“Sugarcube! You’re back!” she exclaimed, grabbing me and pulling me into a strong hug. I let out a laugh.

“Back and here to stay, Applejack,” I said as we embraced one another. When she released me, I had a chance again to look at her smiling face. I cracked a wry smile.

“Ah reckon Ah’ll take that job offer now, AJ,” I said softly. “Ah take it it’s still available.” Applejack just hugged me again, even tighter.

“Ya can start tomorrow morning, Blade Star,” she replied happily, faint tears in her eyes.

And so, that was how my new life started. I’d known for a few years that it was getting high time for me to leave the proverbial nest. I was in my early twenties and had finished university. I was at the big crossroads in life. And until recently, I had been wondering what to do with myself.

Back home, I’d had a pretty good life. It wasn’t like I had some clichéd long suffering background. I had a good home, loving parents, everything I could ask for really. But standing at that crossroads, I found myself unsure of where to go. Now it seemed, I had myself an answer.

I would be living and working on this farm, at least for the next few years at any rate. At present, I didn’t really want to leave. I was still close to my parents; their new home, once properly renovated was just a short trip into Ponyville. And Lizzie was still staying with Fluttershy, an equally short walk away.

Of all the possible ways the next few years could have gone, this certainly seemed like a step in the right direction. It certainly seemed like I’d found that direction at last. Honestly, I just felt…happy.

The two of us stayed on that hilltop for a little while. I told Applejack what had happened in Canterlot and brought her up to speed on our new situation. In short, I was here for the long haul, a fact that seemed to please her no end. Of course, I hadn’t given up hope of getting back to Earth. But I did know that, for the present at least, this was where we’d be staying. It only made sense to try and push forward rather than pine for my old home. And that was all the more easier given that my family were all here with me.

At length, we both headed back to Ponyville. The little welcoming ceremony had begun to wind down by the time we got there. There were now only about a dozen or so ponies chatting with my parents and Lizzie around the fountain. I explained to them that I’d gotten myself a new job and living quarters.

The rest of my family had done quite well too. Mum and Dad had arranged to stay with Twilight for just a little while longer until their new home was suitably modified and up to code (take a wild guess at who was currently reading a copy of said building code). Lizzie too, as I had suspected, was going to continue to stay with Fluttershy. Mum and Dad’s new house was large enough for her to stay, but as with me and AJ, the pair had become pretty inseparable.

The only other thing to know about, from Twilight, was that Celestia would be sending me some advice, through Spike, on how to deal with Discord if he did continue to harass me or my family. In any case, for I think the first time, both my family and the Mane Six were all grouped together in public.

We all stayed in town chatting and enjoying ourselves until the early evening. Everyone in my family, myself included, had made a few new friends in Ponyville, although Dad wasn’t too sure about letting Lyra conduct further ‘research’ on him. He was also arranging with the princesses when he could start working for them. The same could be said for Mum. She’d not had a chance to talk to Cheerilee herself, but Twilight had on her behalf, expressed an interest at lending a hand at the schoolhouse. Lizzie meanwhile, was poised to help Fluttershy conduct the annual bunny census next Wednesday.

As our little gathering broke up, AJ and I walked home together and chatted about the finer points of my employment. It took some wrangling on her part, but I eventually accepted a decent wage, which would be partially deducted to pay rent for my room; something I insisted on.

My room was just as I had left it, and I had soon stowed my few possessions away. With that done, we all gathered around the table for dinner, with granny Smith, now wide awake, serving up some excellent grub.

It had been a long day though, and I had an early start tomorrow, so I headed to bed a little earlier. Tomorrow would be my first real day in Equestria, a visitor no longer. And I planned to pay a certain clockmaker a visit.

Chapter 16 - Time

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I woke up the next day, early as always. While a boat load of stuff may have happened over the last few days, it was still Applebuck Season. In my absence Big Mac and AJ had completed another two sections of the apple orchards. There were now two left. If we could do one each day, which was a reasonable estimate and workload, we would be able to finish up by the end of tomorrow, though weather schedules could force a change to that. After that, it would be a case of making up the cider and then preparing for winter.

As I left my room, I met Applejack in the hall. I wished her a good morning, which she returned. I wondered if before long, my southern accent would become the norm and my old way of speaking the anomaly. I wouldn’t mind that; I was a new pony after all.

As soon as we reached the breakfast table, I was set upon by little Apple Bloom. The young filly had so many questions, as children always do. In a rapid fire quiz round, she asked me about my family, myself, what I knew about her and the Crusaders, what my old world was like and about a dozen other things before Granny Smith interrupted her and quietened her down.

“Now, now Apple Bloom, at least give him a chance to answer some of those questions ‘fore ya ask him all the rest of ‘em,” she chided kindly. Apple Bloom thought for a moment about which question she wanted answered first. The result, in hindsight, was inevitable.

“What’s yer cutie mark mean, Blade Star?” she asked. If it was still possible, I would have pinched the bridge of my nose. As it was, lacking fingers, I simply rolled my eyes.

“Well Apple Bloom, Ah had my cutie mark when Ah got here. My OC, which is what Ah look like now, got it ‘cause he’s really good at protectin’ folks.” I paused; I had done that to an extent while I was here. When we arrived at the Everfree Forest, I had guided my family through all its perils and got them safely to Ponyville. And when Twilight had had her little lab disaster, I had immediately gone to help then too. Maybe that really was my special talent. I hadn’t really considered such a concept back on Earth.

“What about yer family? Do they have cutie marks too?” Apple Bloom offered another cutie mark based question. I partially regretted telling her, as she would undoubtedly offer my family membership to her organisation.

“Before I tell you, Apple Bloom, you should know that humans don’t actually get cutie marks, ever.” I waited for this to sink in. “So technically, all three of my family members are blank flanks.” While this key phrase triggered Apple Bloom’s interest, she did not begin planning to incorporate my family into the Crusaders, I breathed a sigh of relief as she headed off to pack her things for school.

“Oh Apple Bloom,” Applejack said. “I swear, one of these days she’ll recruit every colt and filly without a cutie mark into that club.”

“Hey at least it’s somethin’ constructive and pretty safe,” I replied, pretty being the operative word. “Back on Earth, kids would form gangs just as an excuse to steal stuff and fight each other.” I didn’t go on to discuss what those gangs evolved into later on.

“Ah suppose, Ah just wonder what they’ll all do when they finally succeed. They’ve been huntin’ for their cutie marks for so long, Ah can’t imagine ‘em not doin’ it,” Applejack replied. She finished off her breakfast and stood up. “C’mon then you two, time’s a’wastin’.”

“Right behind ya, Applejack,” I replied.

“Eeyup,” added Big Mac.

The penultimate day of Applebuck Season saw us in the eastern orchard. Here, apples were not the only thing hiding in the trees. Apparently, since Winter Wrap Up this year, a colony of Fruit Bats, not the vampiric variety, praise Celestia, which had been forced out of another orchard, had taken up residence in the trees. When struck then, the trees would release both apples and these multi-coloured bats, which would be no doubt irritated at having their rest interrupted. AJ gave me some quick instruction on how to handle these creatures.

“Now, when ya buck the trees,” she said. “These critters’ll come buzzin’ out. Best thing to do when ya set ‘em off, is to wait and let ‘em settle down again in the cleared tree. When they’re back to sleep, move on to the next.” Not all the trees had bats in them, so it really was the luck of the draw. It might be that you could clear a whole row and find none, or find a colony in every tree. It would certainly throw out our usual rhythm.

By about ten o’clock in the morning, we were spread out all over the orchard. Applejack so far, was in the lead, having encountered the least fruit bats. Big Mac had had his fair share of them but was coping well. I on the other hand, well, let’s just say Discord wasn’t lying when he said he could sense my species chaotic nature. For the last three rows, every single tree had had bats in it. More than once I heard the pair snigger slightly at my misfortune.

An hour later though the situation was reversed. I was ploughing through trees and working up quite a sweat, whilst Big Mac had been forced to a snail’s pace. Applejack seemed to be blessed with continuous good luck and merrily worked her way through her section without trouble. Big Mac however, was getting sick of the brightly coloured, and fantastically noisy Fruit Bats.

“Consarn it! Will ya’ll just shut the hay up!” he bellowed angrily, rearing up to take a swipe at the pests.

“Now, now, Big Mac,” I cautioned jokingly. “Ya gotta respect the local wildlife. Got just as much right to be here as you.” Big Mac snorted again and muttered something about the stupidity of wildlife protection laws. After all, we were lucky that we could even harvest these trees at all, since the bats were endangered, we could not move them.

At midday, as usual, Applejack called a halt to the work. One of these days I would have to stay with them for lunch, which I had not done since I had arrived. Today though, I had to go meet a fellow alien I left Applejack to prepare the lunch with Granny Smith, while Big Mac continued to grumble about the Fruit Bat infestation.

So, once again, I found myself trotting into Ponyville. I still can’t get over that expression, it still sounds weird to me. Time Turner’s shop was not too far from Quills and Sofas. Unlike the latter’s unusual business model, his clock shop was a relatively common sight. The windows were filled on both sides of the door with wall clocks of several designs and even a huge grandfather clock possibly taller than Celestia. In the foreground, were a variety of ornate watches. One of these was a silver pocket watch, on the cover, was carved a number of High Gallifrayan markings which I could not hope to decipher. This was more evidence of Time Turner’s credentials.

I considered on the walk over there what I would say to him. I couldn’t very well greet him as The Doctor now could I? Since he had his fob watch, he might have repressed his Time Lord characteristics. Perhaps that was why he was a pony. In the end I decided to begin by dropping subtle hints, and if I got a reaction, I would become more obvious as to my knowledge of his true nature.

I stepped through the shops front door, the bell suspended above the frame chimed happily. Almost instantly, my ears were assaulted with a symphony of ticks and tocks and thousands of clocks counted off the hours, minutes and seconds of the day. I looked to the front of the store. The counter was empty, but I could see a way to some sort of back room.

“Hello? Anypony here?” I called out. From the back, I heard a variety of crashing sounds, as if somepony had dropped something, this was accompanied by the odd curse.

“Be right with you, my friend,” a voice not too dissimilar to my own called out. “Just give me a minute. Oh and you might want to cover your ears.”

“Why’s that?” The question had barely left my mouth before I was cut off. All at once a variety of gongs, chimes, calls and melodies erupted as every single clock in the store struck the hour. Luckily, as it was only one o’clock, the noise was brief. As things settled, Time Turner emerged. His brown mane an unkempt mess and a wild look in his eye that showed both brilliance and madness. The earth pony laughed.

“That’s why, lad. Just be thankful you didn’t come an hour earlier. I recall once when a Pegasus shot out of here in a flash when they all struck twelve.” He smiled kindly, wiping his brow with a foreleg.

“At least it wasn’t a cloister bell. I’ve heard one of those before too, fantastically loud thing when you’re trying to concentrate,” I replied, hoping this first reference would be picked up. For a moment, he started, before quickly recovering and brushing off my comment.

“I wouldn’t know about that I’m afraid. Now what can I do for you. Blade Star was it? I take it you’re one of our extra-terrestrial visitors?”

“I just wanted to ask you a couple of physics questions. Twilight tells me you’re quite the scientist.” I readied another reference. “I imagine ponies like yourself would love to see some of the technology we’ve come up with over the years. You probably could do with your own spacecraft.” Again he started, but remained unruffled.

“Oh no thank you, I’d much rather keep my hooves on the ground. I’m no Wonderbolt. So what do you want to know?”

“I just need to work out the composition of a metal I found near where we all landed.” Time for a big reference. “I think it’s Dalekanium.” This got a reaction, of sorts.

“Why don’t you just stop beating around the bush and tell me what you really want, dear boy?” He said his voice serious now compared to his tone a moment ago.

“Fine, I’ll be blunt. I have need of your ship to get my family home.” In vain he tried to throw me off.

“A ship? Dear boy, in case you haven’t noticed, we’re about as far from the coast as you can get,” he replied.

“You know what I mean,” I countered. “Don’t play dumb.”

“Now you listen to me you little…” I cut him off.

“Doctor.” Instantly, he fell silent. He seemed to fall into deep thought.

“It’s been such a long time since anyone called me that,” he said, after a long pause. “I take it you are a human then, and you are aware of this world from that children’s show?” I nodded “Then it seems we’re both victims of circumstance.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I take it your travelling here was not your doing? I can’t leave here because of this dimension’s time vortex. At best the TARDIS is able to travel to a point in the past, and only materialise for about a minute. Hence how I am here now. The TARDIS is about twenty years hence, so I have to sit and wait. But, I have got enough to do for the moment.” He paused, thinking.

“The trouble is that even when I do ‘catch up’ with the TARDIS, I still can’t leave this dimension. And it seems, neither can you.” So that was that. The Doctor himself was stuck here, unable to leave. That seemed to put a dent in any hopes of sending my family home. Was it wrong of me to be happy with this arrangement?

I thanked the old Time Lord, giving my word that I would tell no one, especially my own family, of his origins. It did surprise me though that neither of my parents picked up the reference Twilight inadvertently made that day at the library. Maybe they just saw it as another strange part of this world.

I walked back toward Sweet Apple Acres. Strangely enough, I encountered all three members of my human family on the road there, heading the same way.

“What are you three doing out this way?” I asked. “Still house hunting?” Back on Earth, my parents had been heavily into renting out houses and took the expression ‘right time to buy’ way too far. The current count was seven, not including our home.

“No, we’re heading up your way actually,” my mother replied. “Twilight told us to head to the barn at Applejack’s and we met your sister on the way.” Nopony was with them, and Ponyville did seem quieter than usual. I guessed that Pinkie was finally making her move. She had had to put off the party for over a week after all.

When we reached the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres, we found Apple Bloom waiting for us. She was grinning like a Cheshire cat and making no attempt to hide it.

“Howdy, AB. What’s with the smile?” I asked. My parents looked toward me, as did Lizzie at my sudden change of accent.

“Oh, ‘s nothin’, Blade Star,” she answered. “Applejack just told me to tell ya that she’s cancellin’ work for the day and wants ya to come on back to the barn.” This was definitely our party, and the little filly promptly shot off in the direction of the barn. My inner brony once again made itself known at the prospect of attending a genuine Pinkie Pie party. I decided not to tell my family, who seemed completely mystified at this turn of events.

We neared the huge red barn that marked the dead centre of the Apple family’s property. I briefly considered the number of possibilities that lay behind the door. Pinkie might have readied her Party Cannon, she might literally roll out her Welcome Wagon, hopefully putting the cake and streamers in the right place this time, or she might have used the barn’s size to create a huge three figure attendance, town wide party for us. With that, I opened the door.

“SURPRISE!”

Chapter 17 - Pinkie's Party

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The moment I opened the barn door, Pinkie Pie and all the others leapt out of their hiding spots. I had a few seconds to look around and see what the crazy party obsessed Pinkie Pie had done. Naturally, the entire of the barn was filled with balloons and streamers. Sitting off to the side, still smoking, was Pinkie’s patented Party Cannon. Obviously, she had used this device, which I am still yet to fully understand, to decorate the barn so quickly.

Dozens of tables had been set up with all kinds of party foods and drinks. From my position, I could see crisps (chips to American readers), sandwiches, and bowls of punch, amongst others. The sheer amount that was here was incredible. In the background, I could hear music playing from a gramophone, neither too loud and obnoxious, nor too quiet and subtle. Nor was it some god awful Whale song, which I had once had to endure for four long hours at a party for a friend of my family.

Then there were the guests. In addition to the Mane Six, Pinkie seemed to have invited pretty much all of Ponyville here to this shindig. I could make out loads of background ponies and minor characters from the show. Lyra was sitting with Bon Bon, who was undoubtedly keeping her on a short leash. I could see all three of the Crusaders looking at the four of us in awe, no doubt scheming. On the one hand, they were cute and adorable, on the other; they had a tendency to get covered in tree sap and did inadvertently release Discord. Mayor Mare had also clearly decided to attend; she and her aid were standing with Twilight, probably here on business. Time Turner was here as well, with Derpy, whose eyes seemed to be focussed on both me and some of the framework in the barn’s roof. I could go on, but all this happened in about five seconds so I won’t bore you.

So, in the spirit of attending a surprise party, we all looked surprised. My parents didn’t have to make much effort; they had yet to come to terms with the expression ‘Pinkie being Pinkie’. I hoped soon they would stop questioning her antics, that road only lead to headaches. As the cheering died down, Pinkie bounced up to us, allowing her to briefly look even my father in the eye.

“Were you surprised? Were you? Huh? Huh? Huh?” she said, as she bounced from me, to Lizzie to both my parents. Since I was probably the only one with coherent thought at this point, I spoke up.

“Yes, Pinkie! We were surprised, though I figured you’d be setting up a party for us soon. It’s what you do for everypony isn’t it.”

“Yeppers, Bladey!” Pinkie replied. “Everypony new in Ponyville gets a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ Party, but since you’re not even from Equestria I decided to throw you a ‘Welcome to the Universe’ Party! I’ve never thrown one of these before, so this proves my theory. If it exists, it will be partied with, no exceptions.” If Pinkie was on Earth, would she be considered mad, or brilliant?

“What on earth is that cannon doing there though?” My father asked, noting the large pink, wheeled contraption in the far corner of the barn. Pinkie glanced toward it.

“Oh that’s my Party Cannon! I use it to decorate everything for a party, or beating up mean changelings. It's even faster than Dashie.” She paused. “Hey, you don’t have any party stuff on. Wait right here.” She quickly zoomed off and retrieved the cannon, along with the Crusaders who greeted us all kindly.

“Load!” Pinkie ordered, becoming serious. The Crusaders stuffed a strange packet down the barrel.

“Run out!” she bellowed. The cannon was moved forward so it would not jump back into anypony. I realised what was about to happen and proceed to cover my ears.

“Ready!” proclaimed the three Crusaders as they moved to take up the firing pin.

“FIRE!” Pinkie bellowed. In an instant, I felt a strange sensation all over and my vision became obscured. The blast also played havoc with my hearing, though back on Earth, I would have probably lost my eardrums. When everything cleared, I found I had a party hat perched on my head, was covered from head to tail in streamers and had a massive smile on my face. The Party Cannon, in short, worked. The same had happened to my family, who were looking at me as if I had gone mad.

“What just happened?” My mother asked. Her voice filled with a mix of confusion and amusement.

“The Party Cannon. And Pinkie Pie. Just go with it, Mum,” I answered.

Pinkie quickly dragged us all into the party and began introducing us to, well, everypony in Ponyville. How Pinkie had the knowledge of some two hundred ponies in her head, including birthdays, musical tastes, favourite foods and dozens of other trivial facts, was beyond me, again I chalked it up to Pinkie being Pinkie, the safest option. Either that or she truly was insane.

As the party continued, we each split up to go and be social. My parents naturally stayed together, but were having the time of their lives. Very quickly they fell into conversation with Roseluck, who ran one of the stands in the market. Their anniversary was coming up and my father wanted to get his wife a beautiful bouquet as he always had done back on Earth. Of course, it took a few minutes for Roseluck and the others to explain to him, that such flowers were considered a delicacy here in Equestria and not romantic gifts. I grinned as my father realised that he had pretty much planned on going to the local deli for an anniversary gift.

Lizzie had gone off to be with the Crusaders. While she was their senior by several years, it was no doubt good for her to spend time with them. Both me and her usually got on well with kids. And since the children in this society were significantly better behaved than their human counterparts, she quickly got into playing games with them. Before long she was having a whale of a time with Pinkie and the Crusaders playing ‘Pin the tail on the Pony’.

As for me, I had quickly gone to say hello to the mayor. We had briefly met during our initial welcome, but this gave us an opportunity to really talk. As a student of Politics, I know that it never hurts to have connections, though I was already on a first name basis with one of Equestria’s rulers, so perhaps it was a little overkill. Pinkie had quickly put on some dance music. I myself could not, cannot and therefore will not dance. However, the opportunity to see Twilight ‘dancing’ was too good to miss. When my Mum saw it, she initially thought that the Element of Magic was having some sort of violent seizure; I had a similar reaction when I first saw her attempts at dancing back in Season Two.

It briefly occurred to me that many would consider these festivities as childish or unsophisticated. On Earth, I would have agreed with them. But here, it was not the case. To be honest, I was having the time of my life as was everypony else. I hadn’t been much of a party animal back on Earth. Particularly after it was made clear to me that a ‘party’ in my age group, consisted of stupidly loud and repetitive music, unhealthy amounts of alcohol and sex, amongst other things. Needless to say, that wasn’t my cup of tea. Laugh and scoff if you must, but I’d much rather attend a genuine Pinkie Pie party any day over that.

A few hours later, as dusk began to fall, the party wound down. Ponies started to head home to prepare for work the next day. It was Tuesday evening after all, tomorrow would mark the end of our first week in Equestria. It seemed so much longer than that when I thought about all that had happened.

Some had a little trouble letting go of the festivities. Berry Punch, at some point had managed to have bit too much of the slightly alcoholic punch. She was now staggering around giggling and her companions were trying to steady her and get her home. Lyra also was unwilling to leave. She had engaged in a slightly more sensible and less crazy conversation with my father during the festivities, I think she learned a fair bit.

Me and Applejack, and Big Mac, still had Applebuck Season to finish. Then before long it would be time for Cider Season, and consequently poor Rainbow desperately seeking a cup of the stuff. After that, there was the Running of the Leaves and Nightmare Night to look forward to. Then would come winter and Hearth’s Warming, a trying time for the weather pegasi according to most accounts. Finally, came the time every brony, no matter how junior they are in our fandom knows about: Winter Wrap Up. That song, when I first heard it, had stuck in my head for nine days before finally petering out. I certainly had a lot to look forward to. Lizzie of course, was helping Fluttershy with the annual bunny census tomorrow. My parents were still house hunting, though they had told me during the party, that they had their eye on a nice little cottage just outside town. Apparently, it was a great deal like our old home back on Earth, just smaller. All in all we had a lot to look forward to.

I bid Pinkie and the others who were still partying a good night. It was getting on for half past ten and I had work with an early start tomorrow. However, I could not really resist going out to a quiet spot just outside Ponyville, to gaze at the heavens. The moon was full tonight; it seemed to change size almost randomly. Perhaps the waxing and waning of the moon were somehow connected to Luna herself. So, I headed out into the orchards and quickly found a nice elevated spot.

The entirety of the hill was covered in the pleasant light of the moon; the grass took on a beautiful quality. I thought back to something I had read once in ‘Watership Down’ about the moonlight. It spoke of how we think of everything, including Ponyville, in daylight. It is a natural state of affairs for everything we know to be remembered in daytime. Moonlight though, is different. It gives everything new, amazing and rare quality, changing a simple field of grass into a wondrous flowing sea and a small pond into a beautiful mirror. Even as I closed my eyes, I could feel the softness of the moonlight.

Despite the brightness of the moon, there were many stars out. Luna had created some constellations and had a fixed North Star in the sky. But try as I might, I could not find Ursa Minor or Major, though I could find Orion. Why would ponies identify a constellation as a man? We were the first humans here. I filed this away in ‘things to ask Twilight’. I didn’t want to think, I just wanted to enjoy the night, as its creator intended.

I could feel the magic in the air, possibly an extension of Luna’s own aura. It was easy to find, but like everything else about the night princess, was more subtle than that of her sister’s, though no less powerful. The best description I could find for this form of magic was the feeling I previously described, the feeling of the moonlight.

My thinking and reflection was interrupted as I heard a distant bell chime eleven. I had to be up, about, and working in around six and a half hours. I set off at a brisk trot back towards home, back toward Sweet Apple Acres’ farmhouse. Before I left though, I looked up to the moon one last time.

“Good night, Luna,” I said, briefly bowing to the satellite. As I trotted off, I could have sworn I heard a gentle voice reply to me.

“Good night, Blade Star.”

About ten minutes later, I was back at the farmhouse. Applejack had left a key for me under the mat. I quietly let myself in, locked the door behind and crept up to bed. I didn’t want to wake any of my companions from their slumber unnecessarily. I found my way to my room and slipped into bed. Tiredness quickly overcame me, and I was out like a light. I had one last busy day tomorrow.

Chapter 18 - Home Stretch

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Due to the lateness of the hour at which I went to bed, the next morning, I found myself being woken up by Applejack. First the cowpony tried simply prodding me with a hoof. This proved ineffective so she began to shake me a little. When this too proved futile she resorted to the simplest method, and unceremoniously rolled me out of the bed. That got me up.

“Ah! Who!? What!? When!? Where!?” I blurted as I suddenly woke up.

“Breakfast is on the table, Blade Star,” Applejack said. “And if Granny has anythin’ to say about it, it’ll be gone in a minute. So come on, get up; one last day afore the end of Applebuck Season.” Memory quickly returned to me.

“Alright, Applejack. Ah’m up. Just gimme a sec to make myself presentable,” I replied, stretching, my accent once again kicking in. She smiled and headed back downstairs to breakfast.

It quickly dawned on me that I too needed that breakfast, so I quickly began to prepare myself for the day. I hurriedly made my bed up, threw open the curtains, tidied my mane and tore out of the bedroom toward breakfast.

When I finally got downstairs, everypony else was just beginning to finish up. Luckily for me, there were still some bare necessities left, including coffee. I swear, even as a morning pony, I still needed that stuff first thing. The Apples had an unusual way of serving their coffee. Instead of offering cream and sugar, they would set a small beaker of their own apple juice next to the cups of coffee. This had initially thrown me a bit, but according to Granny Smith, the apple juice both gave the coffee a bit more of a kick, and reduced the inevitable crash later on. So, not wanting to break with Apple family tradition, I tried some.

By Discord’s beard! This was a damn good cup of coffee. Granny Smith was right; the apple juice really did give it a stronger kick as well as countering the otherwise bitter flavour of black coffee. Back when we were all at the palace, there had been a running gag between me and Twilight. Whenever the princess asked me how I wanted my coffee I always replied ‘black as the heart of King Sombra’. While this always drew a laugh, Twilight cautioned me not to use such a joke if I ever visited the Crystal Empire.

So, with strong coffee quickly replacing the blood in my veins, we all prepared to head out for the last hurrah of Applebuck Season. One last day and we were done. The majority of the orchards were already bare and devoid of apples, their leaves already starting to turn beautiful colours of red, gold and yellow.

Of course, since we had sort of skipped half the work yesterday due to the party, today we would have to do our normal workload and half again. We were in for a long day. Luckily though, my strength had been improving since I started, we had Big Macintosh, with his impossible strength and if needed, we could always call on our friends to help out.

The trees also were not that tough, and could be cleared usually with just the one hit. There were just so many of them. It was like Zulu but with apple trees. An hour in and we were going strong. We all kept together, but due to the sheer amount of work we had, there wasn’t much time for conversation. We did do our best though to encourage each other.

“Come on y’all, we’re nearly a quarter of the way through. Just keep goin’ and we can all kick back for the week!” Applejack proclaimed.

“Eeyup!” offered Big Mac.

I just kept my head low, nose to the grindstone and all that. Although I could hear a snippet of the Simpsons movie in my head. ‘Must keep going. Must keep going. No I can’t. Yes you can. No I can’t. Yes you can.’ This got tedious after thirty five minutes.

So I just kept going after the apple trees and trying to keep a steady but sufficiently rapid pace. Of course, since we were doing more work today we wouldn’t have as much time for a break. In fact, we kept working right through the midday. When we finally paused for a one hour break at one o’clock, we were all soaked in sweat and tired as anything.

We all quickly headed back to the farmhouse. First things first, hydrate. We each probably drank about four bottles of apple juice each. With that in us and a quick meal of apple pie, we sat down in the living room to rest for as long as we could. My muscles ached, a lot. Back on Earth, I was not a physical person. When a school health questionnaire had asked how often I exercised, the worst option they gave was once a week. So I took my pen and crossed out the ‘a week’ part. It was probably true, I had exercised, once. It was horrible. Now though, I was relatively healthy. While I wasn’t as strong as Applejack, and nowhere near as strong as Big Mac, I could nevertheless hold my own.

Half an hour later, we trudged back out again, still not fully recovered, to go out and do it all again. The worst part was, from my position, we didn’t appear to have put much of a dent into the number of apple trees still carrying apples, though Applejack said we were about halfway through.

An hour and a half later, we were all struggling to even hit the trees, never mind dislodge the apples from them. We were all gasping for air and could barely lift our hind legs, or feel them for that matter.

“Ah think we’re gonna have to throw in the towel y'all,” AJ said. “There’s not much left, but ah just can’t go on. How about you two?” There was a brief puffing sound before Big Mac replied.

“Nnope,” he said feebly. It gave me some small comfort to know that it wasn’t just me who was exhausted.

“How ‘bout if ah go ‘n’ see if any of the others are free to help. Ah’m sure Twilight’d be willin’ to help us out,” I suggested. Applejack and Big Mac readily agreed. The alicorn princess would have no difficulty in clearing around fifty apple trees. Hay, she did that back when she was still a unicorn. But it soon turned out that her help would not be needed.

At first, we just heard a faint rumble. I thought it might be a stray storm or something. It certainly sounded like thunder in the distance. But unlike thunder, this rumble just kept on and on, and was getting loader all the time. The water in the nearby lake began to ripple; indicating whatever was causing the noise, was on the ground. And it seemed to be heading straight for us. Even in our exhausted state we all looked up.

Suddenly we saw a rainbow coloured blur shooting across the sky. If you’ll pardon the pun, Rainbow Dash was flying. She had to be going pretty close to her maximum speed. She seemed to be shooting all around Ponyville. I could faintly hear her shouting something. As she neared us it became clearer.

“Stampede! Everypony run for it, there’s loads of them!” she cried.

My blood turned cold. I’d never seen a real stampede before, but I was fully aware of what a herd of stampeding cattle can do. Even one frightened animal can prove deadly to a human. We quickly all turned to make a break for it, but in our state, I feared we wouldn’t be able to get far. That’s when we first saw them.

Rabbits, or bunnies. Hundreds of them, their eyes wide in terror, were bolting across the open fields. They were heading straight for us, but due to their small size, they were not much of a threat to us. Following behind them, going as fast as her wings would carry her was Fluttershy.

“Oh no! Please bunnies, just stop! There’s nothing to be scared about, just follow me back to my cottage, please.” Her desperate begging and pleading was ineffective on the usually timid creatures. Whatever had scared them had scared them bad. Following behind Fluttershy was Lizzie, also doing her best to placate the tiny beasts.

As they began to crash into the orchard, a remarkable thing happened. The apple trees began to shake from the vibrations. One by one, they steadily began to lose their fruit. We all looked on in amazement as over three hours of work was accomplished in mere moments. By rabbits of all things! Still, there was the problem of the oncoming armada of bunnies, not the way I would wish to go. Luckily for us, help was at hand.

Granny Smith walked out directly in front of them all, the dinner triangle in her hooves. As they neared her, she struck the instrument once, with force only an earth pony can possess. The ensuing high frequency ring caused us all to splay our ears, while the bunnies all suddenly stopped dead in their tracks. Granny Smith smiled slyly at her little trick.

Now stopped in their blind panic, the rabbits were more than willing to listen to Fluttershy, who guided them back home. Apparently, she and Lizzie had been part way through the census, when Winona had jumped in amongst them. Her excited barking and her role as a carnivore had triggered the rabbits’ natural flight instinct.

While the stampede had been a trying time for Fluttershy, it had certainly saved us a great deal of trouble. Thanks to those tiny creatures, we were finished. All of Sweet Apple Acres had been harvested, and on time too.

“Ah swear,” said Applejack “That little dog is sometimes more trouble than she’s worth, but at least this time things went our way.”

At that moment said canine immediately joined us. Her tail wagged as she barked happily, evidently pleased with both her bunny chasing skills and the fact that she had just helped AJ finish Applebuck Season. I liked that dog. She was remarkably intelligent, even for a collie. She frequently chipped into conversations, which she evidently understood and was a great companion to all of us. It was just sometimes, particularly if she hadn’t been walked, she would get over excited.

We all headed back to the farmhouse, we needed the rest. All the bushels of apples were taken to the barn for storage. A fair few would be sold as is, while some of the best would be set aside for Cider Season in a couple weeks to coincide with the Running of the Leaves. The bruised ones would go to the pigs, who loved them. The rest of the day was spent simply relaxing, letting our heavily strained muscles relax.

A few hours later, when we were sufficiently recovered to fall into idle chit chat, we began to converse. I was interested to know a bit more about Cider Season. I knew a fair bit having seen last year’s during Season Two, when Flim and Flam had shown up with their ridiculous contraption. It had been a close run thing, the thought of these ponies losing the farm made me shudder.

“Ah just hope we have a smoother Cider Season than last year, Applejack. Ah certainly ain’t in the mood for no conponies.” AJ heartily agreed with me.

“They won’t be back ah don’t think. After all, Big Macintosh said he wanted to have a ‘quiet word’ with ‘em. Didn’t ya, big brother.”

“Eeyup,” the big stallion said menacingly. Sweet Celestia, I hope those two muppets turn up now!

By evening, we all settled down to a nice quiet dinner, where Applejack also handed me my pay. Overall, I now had quite a pile to my name. Combined with the gift my parents received from Princess Celestia, we should certainly have no money troubles.

Thus another chapter in my life in Equestria drew to a close. Applejack essentially gave me the rest of the week off. Cider Season would open first thing on Monday, with the Running of the Leaves taking place on Thursday next. I thought about maybe taking part in that. My physique had improved greatly since I got here, and Twilight herself, not the most athletic of ponies, had managed to gain fifth place on her first attempt. Tomorrow, I would head to Town Hall and sign myself up. But first, I needed a good long sleep.

Interlude 2 - Back to School

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Note: This chapter takes place from the perspective of our protagonist's mother.

Twilight took me to the local school for nine in the morning, to see if I would be able to, at the very least, get some experience of teaching methods here. With any luck, and perhaps the nod from those two princesses, I’d be able to start teaching here soon enough. I’d actually retired not that long ago. Or at least, I left the school I was teaching at, the head was setting up to turn it from a bilingual school to a minority only one. It didn’t help when said minority had their own government and political parties.

After leaving the library, we walked up the main street, which was somewhat ironically called ‘Mane Street’, and headed out from the town’s centre toward the outskirts. There we found the schoolhouse.

It was a pretty little building, the sort of thing you’d expect to find on a kids TV show. A wooden structure, the schoolhouse was painted a softish red colour. On the roof was a small steeple housing the school bell. Not too dissimilar to my last school in that regard. Out in front of the building was the school yard. It had a couple bits of playground equipment, with a few toys scattered here and there. There were no fences, obviously there was either no concern for children running off or such concern was not necessary. Based on what I’d seen so far, I suspected it was the latter.

We arrived just before nine o’clock, when lessons began, so we ought to be able, according to Twilight at least, to have a brief discussion with the head at the school and settle any details later. Hopefully, in a few weeks, I would be able to start teaching, or at the very least helping some of the struggling pupils as I had done before.

We found the teacher, a Miss Cheerilee, outside keeping an eye on the playing children. She looked to be several years younger than me, were she a human, but she had the look of someone whose been at the job long enough to know their cookies. It is an undisputed fact that young children have the ability to smell fear on teachers. From this initial sight, I knew she could keep these students in line.

“Good morning, Cheerilee” Twilight said as we approached. The cerise coated mare turned to us.

“Oh, morning Twilight,” she said. “And good morning to you…too.” She faltered a little upon seeing me.

“Cheerilee, you remember Margaret right? Margaret, this is Cheerilee,” Twilight introduced us. The earth pony recovered and greeted me, apologising for her shock.

“I’m awfully sorry about that. I know you’re not dangerous; you just took me by surprise. What are you two doing down here anyway?”

“The Princess said it might be in both our interests if I was to come and help teaching here,” I replied. Cheerilee blushed slightly.

“Oh of course, I remember now” she said. “Yes, she did say you had some experience teaching foals. And it would help me reduce my workload a great deal.”

“Well, I don’t know about foals, but I’ve dealt with all sorts of human children over the years. I can’t see any kids here that look particularly unruly.”

Cheerilee’s expression now shifted to a sort of appraising attitude. I probably had a similar look when I first spotted her when we arrived. After a moment, she returned to her previous happy looking face.

“How much experience do you have then?” she asked me.

“About twenty years on and off, plus I often helped out unofficially at my son’s school when he was younger. I’ve dealt with quite a few troublesome students, particularly a few who had learning difficulties.” Cheerilee nodded, impressed.

“Well, I suppose you could observe for today. You won’t be able to teach until you pass at the next inspection, that’s in about a fortnight. But if I let you sit in today on the lessons, I’m sure we can steadily ease you into a few unofficial areas. Then once you pass inspection, which I’m fairly certain you will, you can take a couple of days a week.”

This surprised me greatly. I’d expected at least a demand for a reference of a CRB check. Obviously, this Equestria didn’t suffer from some of the darker faults humans did.

With that Twilight said she’d return to the library, as it was (again) reshelving day. I expected to finish around three, so I promised that I would return around then, depending on what happened over the course of the day.

Cheerilee led me through the building’s front door into the classroom. It was full on Americana, the traditional blackboard, school desks; everything reeked of an idealised time. There were about twenty or so desks with Cheerilee’s own placed just ahead of the board. Given the relatively low population of Ponyville, I wasn’t surprised by the low class size. Mind you, on Earth, they’d have closed this place down in a heartbeat. I’d already taught at schools with an average class size of forty students per group.

“Right then, if you want to take a seat at the back there to keep an eye on things?” She gestured toward a chair leaning against the back wall. She then briefly turned around and called the kids inside.

As the students filed into the classroom, they all instantly latched onto me. Kids notice everything that’s different at that age, and a strange talking biped was no exception. In particular those three that Lizzie had made friends with at the party came up to me to say hello again. Cheerilee quickly reeled them in and got them seated and settled.

“Alright, everypony settle down. Now, I’m sure you’ve noticed we have a visitor today. This is Mrs. Owen.” It surprised me that Cheerilee knew about human names and their significance, perhaps Twilight had told her. “She’s going to be sitting in on a few of our lessons and hopefully, will be teaching you all soon enough.” This drew a number of questions.

“Does that mean you’re not gonna be teaching us anymore Miss Cheerilee?” one foal asked.

“Are we gonna learn about where those aliens come from?” asked another.

“No, no, no. Nothing like that,” Cheerilee assured them. “Mrs. Owen is just going to be helping me out a little. That way, we’ll both be able to get more work done. I’m not leaving Ponyville just yet.”

And so I settled down for the morning lessons. I’d never taught under the system they used in the US. In Britain, you went to primary school, then secondary, and then if you wanted to, stay on for Sixth Form. It was easy enough to tell that this was the elementary level. To my knowledge, there weren’t any other schools in Ponyville. Maybe the high school was off in one of the larger cities. Those puns still make me smile.

We began with history. Ironically, they were studying the conflict between Equestria and the Griffons. The whole story was a mix of the Cold War combined with a few aspects from World War Two and the wars in the Middle East. Today, I actually understood half of what was being taught, since the main subject was the Sixth Griffon War, which I had read a fair bit about when I was with Princess Luna.

She’d been good company while I was at Canterlot. I’d heard her story from my son, but you’d never guess what had happened to her based on her general personality. Though her occasional use of archaic language did throw up a couple red flags. It was nice to have someone to swap notes with about the whole ‘Brony’ phenomenon. Living where we had, I was certain that there were no others for a fair few miles. And I wasn’t about to tell any of our extended family about it. I’d been dreading what would happen when my uncle would come to visit and find the posters and other merchandise my son had in his room.

With the history class wrapping up, we moved on to mathematics. Luckily, they seemed to use the same numbers that humans did. I still needed to fully learn the new alphabet if I was to have any hope of being a teacher. They were working on multiplication tables today. It didn’t seem as if they had much trouble, except for one little filly.

She had a noticeable lisp and seemed to struggle a bit with mental maths. Not really unexpected, but it was important that someone, or somepony, pounced on the problem before the poor thing was left behind. Luckily, Cheerilee had also noticed and, whilst the others worked through the exercises on their own, she helped her with a few of the trickier questions.

It was then that I heard quiet sniggering coming from the front of the class. I guess even in Equestria there horrid cruel little children. Two fillies were giggling amongst themselves as they looked on at the other’s plight. The nastier of the two had a little tiara on her head, with a similar tiara for her mark. Any fool could see she was rich and spoiled one of the class.

There were two kinds of problem children. The first tended to be from poorer areas, and rarely got any help or attention from their parents. These could be helped and encouraged, it was simply a matter of dispelling the anti-swot culture that may have prevailed in their home. The spoilt rich child however, was more difficult. From long experience I knew any complaint to the parents would be met with the claim that their child was perfect in every way, and that it surely must be the other child at fault. They actually encouraged the bad behaviour.

This one definitely fell into the latter of the two categories. I was not the only one to notice their behaviour fortunately, as Cheerilee quickly moved over to the pair. This ought to be good.

“And just what are you laughing at Diamond Tiara?” she asked flatly, causing the two to fall silent. I had to strangle a laugh at that name. It certainly fit the bill if nothing else.

“Oh, nothing Miss Cheerilee,” the filly replied.

“Really, because from where I was standing, you two seemed to be laughing at Twist.” Again, she kept her voice level. Kids often find it scarier when you don’t raise your voice.

“Oh, we’d never do that Miss Cheerilee.” Somehow, the response lacked any sincerity.

However, since she’d got them to stop and convinced them to back off, Cheerilee moved on to check on the others. However, every time her back was turned, those same two would go back two bullying Twist. When Cheerilee came back down towards me, I motioned her over.

“Those two are still going after Twist,” I said quietly.

“I know,” Cheerilee replied. “But I can’t keep tabs on them all the time.” She paused, and smiled, a plan forming in her mind. “Why don’t you have a go at straightening them out? It would more than help prove your ability when the inspection comes around.” I nodded.

“Alright, I’ll give it a shot,” I said, rising from my seat.

So I wandered around for a few minutes, keeping one eye on Diamond Tiara and her friend. As I passed a trio of fillies, one of them gently pulled me aside. I quickly recognised her as one of the kids that Lizzie had been getting along with at the party. She was a yellow earth pony, with a bright red mane and had a huge bow tied in it. This was Apple Bloom; she was the sister of the pony my son was currently staying with.

“Mrs. Owen, Diamond Tiara an’ Silver Spoon are still makin’ fun of Twist.” She said. Looking at the pair she was right, they were still giggling away and Twist was looking more miserable by the minute. A plan formed in my head.

“Here’s an idea. Can you three girls do me a favour?” They all nodded and I explained my plan to them. The bell then rang, signalling the lunch break.

When class resumed, I put my little plan into action. I’d explained everything to Cheerilee while she was watching the kids. While it was a little unorthodox, and probably bent a few rules, she agreed to play along.

So, when class resumed, and they all settled down to work on Equestrian, I nodded to Apple Bloom and her friends. They began by quietly giggling, as Diamond Tiara had done, this quickly drew said filly’s attention. At first, she just ignored it, but Apple Bloom and the others simply kept going driving her steadily crazy. Me and Cheerilee were struggling to keep our composure, as was a thin young colt that happened to listen in on our conversation. Eventually, Diamond Tiara could take it no more.

“Miss Cheerilee, those three blank flanks are laughing at me!” she whined. Cheerilee looked up.

“Crusaders, are you laughing at Diamond Tiara?” she asked the three fillies. She promptly received a negative from Apple Bloom. This quickly formed into a cycle, and Diamond Tiara began to get more and more infuriated. Only when she began to get upset, did Cheerilee at last step in.

“Alright, Apple Bloom. That’s enough.” She turned to Diamond Tiara. “It’s not very nice to have other ponies laugh at you is it?” The filly shook her head. “So maybe you shouldn’t be laughing at Twist.” The filly nodded. “Good, then we’ll say no more about it.”

Half an hour later, the last bell rang and the kids all headed home. I was surprised that there were no parents to pick them up. Evidently, Ponyville was a safe enough place that children wandered around freely. I got up to leave but Cheerilee stopped me at the door.

“You really helped me out today, Margaret,” she said “When I saw you this morning, I wasn’t sure if you’d be a good teacher, but now, I’d say you’re more than qualified. If you come in same time tomorrow, we’ll start introducing you to some of the workload. You can’t teach yet, but you can certainly help me out until you can.”

So, it looked like I was going back into teaching. My pension wasn’t that great anyway. Would I have to reapply to the NUT, or whatever they called it here? I got on well with Cheerilee and, with the exception of those two fillies; the class seemed to like me too. All in all a good start.

Chapter 19 - Lesson One

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In spite of the fact that I was now on a holiday of sorts, I still found myself waking up quite early. Not before dawn as I had had to during Applebuck Season, but nevertheless, earlier than most ponies. After a hearty breakfast with the Apple family, we began to discuss what we would do during our short break.

“Ah’ve gotta go and get trainin’ with Rainbow today. Runnin’ of the Leaves’ll be here before ya know it,” Applejack said. “S’pose you better head on down to Town Hall today, Blade Star. That is if yer still up for racin.”

“Course ah am, AJ,” I replied. “I’ll head into town, go to Town Hall, then to Twilight’s. I was kinda hopin’ she’d give me a couple of magic lessons. All Ah’ve got right now is a levitation spell. But yer probably right, I best get trainin' soon.”

“How ‘bout you, big brother?” Applejack asked, turning to Big Mac. “You gonna be settin all the stuff up for Cider Season?”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac replied. I guess somepony had to get everything ready beforehoof for the cider making, from what I had seen, it was a big operation.

“Me an’ the Crusaders are gonna try out a couple of new ideas,” Apple Bloom chipped in. “Just as soon as we think of ‘em.” This spoke to at least a few hours of standing in their clubhouse thinking. What Sherlock Holmes would have undoubtedly called a ‘three pipe problem’. The filly’s comment drew a little, good natured laugh from us all.

After breakfast was done and dusted, I headed out towards Ponyville. I had everything in my head, sorted. I had always done this, forming a mental timetable for the entire day in my head. I wouldn’t be surprised if Twilight did the same thing. Before I left the farm though, I found I had a travelling companion with me.

Winona had joined me on my sojourn into town. The canine barked excitedly and lolled her tongue out. She reminded me of a dog my sister’s godmother had had. In that case though, it did one thing, play fetch. The only problem was, if you began to play with it, it would continue to play with you until time stopped. At least Winona would eventually tire out and settle. For now though she was full of energy.

“What d’you want girl?” I asked in my best impersonation of Jeff Bridges. Sadly, Winona made no comment about looking for the man who killed her father. She only barked and wagged her tail, continuing to follow me. “Oh alright, you can come with me.”

Ponyville was fairly busy when we got there. What little shock had been present in the townsfolk on Monday had evaporated by now; it was just like being in the show. Or a bad HiE fic. I smiled, this sure would make one great story, too bad I’d never be able to write it.

Town Hall was quite busy with the Running of the Leaves fast approaching. Luckily, entry into this competition was straightforward enough. I merely had to fill out one form with my name, address and any medical conditions I had. There was no tiny writing at the bottom with a tick box promising I wouldn’t sue anypony if I got hurt. Did ponies even have the concept of ambulance chasers, I hoped not. Yet another reason I like Equestria, no ambulance chasers.

I met Rainbow Dash in the queue for the forms and we began to chat about recent events. Naturally, Rainbow’s ego being such as it is, she quickly got on to the subject of herself and her depiction in MLP: FiM. I replied that it was a fair representation of her personality and athletic abilities, with perhaps a hint of sarcasm. I avoided a fair bit of the fandom’s comments, particularly regarding certain individuals interpretations of her personality and mane colours. She never struck me as the type anyway, just a bit of tomcolt. I did however, talk at length with her about her time at Wonderbolt Academy, and the similarities it had to a certain school back on Earth.

With the form filled in and handed off to the race officials, I headed towards the library to see Twilight, and possibly Mum and Dad. Due to the number of ponies applying for the upcoming race, the rest of Ponyville was fairly quiet. Winona once again joined me, they didn’t allow dogs in Town Hall, and we both headed to the library.

With the existence of humans in Equestria now revealed to all, Twilight’s front door was no longer locked. However, as this was her home as well as the town’s library, combined with the fact she was a princess, I decided to knock. Twilight herself quickly answered the door.

“Hello Blade Star,” she said brightly. “You know this is a public library right? No need to knock on the door.” I rolled my eyes; I was given a 50/50 chance at picking the correct course of action. Of course I picked the wrong one.

“Just didn’t want to appear rude, Twilight,” I replied. “Hey, are you busy right now?” She replied that she was not. “Well, do you think you could teach me a couple more spells besides levitation? I want to improve my magic a bit.” This caused the alicorn to freeze.

“You want me to teach you magic?” she asked excitedly. “You want to be my student?” I nodded; she seemed to be having another episode. “YAY!” she shouted clapping her front hooves together. “I’ve always wanted to teach somepony else about magic. Come on in, there’s no time to lose.” With that, I was unceremoniously dragged inside.

Twilight immediately launched into a lecture on magic. It tallied with most of my existing understanding of the concept. However, before we could begin, Twilight wanted to test me. She took me well away from Ponyville out near the lake.

“Now, I want you to demonstrate to me the amount of raw magic you have,” she said.

“What do you mean, Twilight?” I asked, prompting the princess to facehoof.

“Perform magic, so I can see how much energy you have,” she replied. I countered that I could only do levitation at present. “No, that’s not what I mean. Instead of casting a spell, just expel the magical energy, like this.” Twilight then charged her horn and let of a, frankly, epic blast, similar to what she had used against the Changelings. “That’s my raw magical power. It isn’t an expression of skill, just energy. That’s why Chrysalis was able to defeat Princess Celestia without being able to move the sun or moon.” Well, that was one plot hole explained.

“I think I get it now, Twilight. I just tease the magic out like I’m casting, then just expel it, right?” She nodded.

“Watch out though, Blade Star. A unicorn’s first expulsion can be quite violent. That’s why I’ve brought us out here,” she cautioned. I nodded in understanding.

I began to summon up the magic in me. I had some control over it, but relaxed it this time. I channelled the magic into my horn; the energy in it began to make my head spin. I doubted my performance would be as brilliant as Twilight’s, she was an alicorn after all, but this was a matter of personal pride. My horn glowed brighter, the usual dark blue aura being replaced by a bright, white light.

“Cast it out now, Blade Star!” Twilight called.

Instantly, I began to expel the magic. Twilight wasn’t kidding about how violent it was. I had to firmly plant all four hooves in the ground just to keep upright. The feeling in my horn was like lava and my ears were filled with the rushing of air. It actually took only three seconds, but it seemed a lot longer. When I had finally expelled all the energy, I was overcome with tiredness and my horn still felt like it was on fire.

“Easy now,” Twilight said. I felt her at my side, steadying me. “Oh, you might want to get that.” I opened my eyes as she indicated my horn. The bloody thing was glowing like kindling! I quickly blew on it, creating another odd sensation in my head and it returned to normal. The tiredness also quickly left me as I recovered.

“How did I do? Did I pass, Princess?” I asked.

“I should say so, Blade Star,” she replied. “While you aren’t as powerful as I was as a unicorn, you do have a fairly high magical power level, above average anyway. That blast would certainly be effective in a fight.” Maybe that was my cutie mark kicking in again. If my special talent was protecting others, then I might need to fight.

With that test done, we returned to the library. Once again poor Spike, with the promise of gems, was roped into being a test dummy for my magic practice. Most of the spells Twilight taught me were to increase my mental discipline, a vital part of controlling magic. Still it was fun to give Spike another moustache. I let him keep it while he went to see Rarity; the little fellow wanted any help he could get in wooing that mare.

Around three we broke for the day. I told Twilight how, with the end of Applebuck Season, I would be mostly free to come and study with her until next Monday. I started to bug out of there when she began to over plan a teaching curriculum. She would be a good teacher, as long as she could repress her need for absolute perfection and timeliness. Still, first lesson, I’d learnt how to blast something into the middle of last week. I looked forward to the lesson we set up for tomorrow.

I headed back toward Sweet Apple Acres, Winona had gotten bored with me and Twilight just talking. I found her waiting for me at the entrance to the place. In the distance I could hear voices. Winona stopped her barking to listen too.

“Is not!” Cried one voice.

“Is to!” Replied the other. This went back and forth several times as we both moved to investigate.

The row was coming from the clubhouse of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Both Winona and me quickly climbed up the steps and entered the clubhouse to see what was going on. It wasn’t unusual for the Crusaders to be arguing over cutie marks, but I thought it would be best if I put a stop to it. As I entered, the Crusaders looked up.

“Alright you three, what’s goin’ on?” I asked. My accent seemed to change depending on whether or not I was on Sweet Apple Acres, or near a member of the Apple family. Yet another thing to ask Twilight. Scootaloo and Apple bloom had been having the small shouting match, with Sweetie Belle playing peacemaker. Apple Bloom spoke up.

“Ah’m tryin’ to prove to Scoots here that our special talent is not arguing,” she said.

“Is to!” countered Scootaloo.

“Is not!” answered Apple Bloom.

“Girls!” I said, silencing them. “By the sounds of it, ya’ll have been arguin for hours, an’ Ah see no cutie mark on any of ya.” Apple Bloom smiled, while Scootaloo blew a raspberry at her. “However, don’t you think you’ve wasted enough time arguin’ when ya could’ve been lookin’ for your cutie marks?” This made them all look down at their hooves dejectedly. Sweetie Belle then spoke up.

“That’s what I was trying to say. While you two were arguing, I thought of a new special talent we could try. Lyra was talking yesterday about studying Blade Star’s family. We could be Cutie Mark Crusader Anthropologists.” There was a silence as I mentally facehoofed. This didn’t last though.

“YAY! CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ANTHROPOLOGISTS!” They all trumpeted before dashing off. My only thought was ‘What have I done?’. It was unbelievably cute though.

With the Crusaders now gone to undoubtedly bother my family, and possibly me for hours, I went back to the farmhouse. I wished I’d brought back some of Luna’s Moonshine; I could really use a bit now.

Applejack returned a few hours later from training for the race. Once again she and Rainbow had turned it into their own private competition, though this time, they planned to have a fair race, without any horseplay. I smiled at my inadvertent pun. She had obviously been training hard; she was still breathing heavily and immediately drank about a pint of apple juice. Regardless, compared to last year, she could only improve, having finished joint last with Rainbow thanks to their continuous one-upmanship.

Apple Bloom returned a while later, having been thrown out of the library by Twilight, along with the other Crusaders, for bothering my parents. She commented that she couldn’t even imagine what an anthropology based cutie mark would look like.

We all sat down to dinner around half-past seven. While the Apple family did enjoy their apples, they did not serve them continuously. Tonight’s dinner was an old family recipe according to Granny Smith. What I got was a great Equestrian version of Ratatouille, a dish I had loved as a child.

With dinner over, after I helped Granny Smith clean up, we all headed to bed. The old mare had stopped protesting at me helping her and had begun using my example as a way to encourage Apple Bloom to do the washing up sometimes. With that I went to bed. Tomorrow I was going back to school. It was certainly nice to have access to a few more spells. I looked forward to an opportunity in the future where I could zip Lizzie’s mouth shut.

Chapter 20 - Order and Chaos

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The next day again saw me at Golden Oaks library for another lesson on magic. Twilight had had Spike send me a note last night outlining her brief introductory course. Well, when I say brief and introductory, I mean it came with four textbooks and homework assignments. Normally, this would have driven me up the wall, but, an opportunity to study canon Equestrian magical theory and some history was too good to pass up. Besides, back in university, when I needed to, I could knuckle down and work hard.

Today’s lesson was mainly theoretical, examining more complex magical theory. While I had a relatively good standing in terms of actual power, though I couldn’t hold a candle to Twilight; it was not refined, leaving me unable to perform more complex spells. By mid-morning, I was struggling on a tricky transformation spell. The intention was to turn an apple into an orange. While this sounded simple and on paper seemed simple, it required a great deal of effort and concentration.

Unfortunately for us, our lesson was occasionally interrupted by library patrons, as well as continued visits from Pinkie demanding feedback on her party. As a result, I managed to roast two apples, turn two more into random objects, and one I inadvertently turned into a hand grenade. I quickly undid that last transformation and avoided Twilight’s questions about it. As we continued, Twilight saw I was getting more and more frustrated.

“Hey Blade Star, why don’t we break for a while, let you get yourself together?” she suggested. “Maybe we can head out to Whitetail Woods to get some training in for the race next week.”

“Sure, why not,” I replied. “This is just driving me insane anyway. A good run will clear my head.” I was certain that before long I would snap at Twilight, not the best thing to do to an alicorn princess.

So we halted the magic lesson for the moment and headed out toward what would soon constitute the race course. Whitetail Woods was a beautiful spot, particularly this time of year. All the leaves were wondrous colours of gold, reds and browns. I could see why Princess Celestia enjoyed autumn or fall as the Equestrians called it, a consequence perhaps of their American/Canadian roots in my old universe.

The route was a fairly simple one, some portions of it of course, I recognised from Season One. A large section of the wood was dedicated to collecting tree sap. I hesitantly looked about for the Crusaders, well aware of the effect of combining tree sap and those fillies. Twilight and me laughed fondly about the antics Applejack and Rainbow Dash had gotten up to during the race, we couldn’t help but laugh at the mental image of poor Rainbow being pursued by a swarm of angry bees.

Twilight seemed more relaxed about me bringing up various memories from before my arrival. When we had first got here, she would become uncomfortable if I even mentioned in passing, a memory gained by my watching of MLP. Now though she seemed much more at ease. I voiced my interest.

“You don’t seem as skittish about me talking about stuff I remember from the show, Twilight. How come?” She paused to think for a moment before responding.

“I suppose it’s because I’ve gotten to know you more this past week. We’ve swapped a fair few stories, so I guess, it’s just not as weird anymore. After all, aren’t friends supposed to know stuff about each other?” Ah, the magic of friendship, such a wonderful thing!

“As long as you’re sure, Twilight. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, and I understand if the whole idea of the show freaks you out a bit,” I answered.

“It doesn’t freak me out at all,” she replied. “Okay, at first it was a bit creepy, but you explained it to us. And, you said yourself it helped create a more peaceful philosophy amongst the people who watched it. What was it ‘Love and Tolerate’?” I smiled, she was right. When we’d first got here, my knowledge was a bit perplexing. Now though, I’d been around Ponyville for over a week, enough time to get to know ponies. Maybe it was just that that made it seem more normal.

As I thought, Twilight peeled off from the track to rest for a moment. She motioned for me to join her. As I sat down, she revealed to me the ulterior reason she had for us coming out here.

“Well, we won’t be disturbed here, so we can get in a bit of magical training, don’t you think?” I nodded. “We’ll try a few more transformation spells, and then head back to the library for lunch.”

So for the next half hour, in the calmness of Whitetail Woods, I honed my magic skills a little more. Without the distraction of the town, I was able to get a few spells down. Most of the exercises required me to alter the leaves in some way, either changing their colour, their shape or combine that with a levitation spell to create images with the leaves. It was a strange combination of science and art. Twilight was especially proud of one piece that showed her and the Mane Six defeating Nightmare Moon and saving Princess Luna.

When Twilight had put me through every exercise she could think of, we headed back through the woods. This time though, it quickly became a race and we began to gallop through the trees at breakneck speeds. This, and the race next week, was probably as close as I would get to being in a cavalry charge, and I was certainly seeing it from a unique perspective. We shot out of the woods and followed the path back to the library.

Being a gentlecolt, I insisted on taking Twilight out for lunch in town. We went to a favourite café of hers. It was a nice little place, somewhat like a café I had frequented back on Earth when I was in university. The food was simple, but really tasty, I still have yet to find a better daisy sandwich anywhere in Equestria.

With lunch over, we both returned to the library. When we got there though, we found Spike was sitting outside waiting for us. The look on his face, whilst not outright panic, was still pretty concerned. We both paused and looked at each other, both wondering what he was doing outside. We quickly increased our speed to a trot to reach him more quickly. When we reached him he said one thing.

“I swear I had nothing to do with this.” He indicated the library interior.

Looking inside we were confronted with an, unusual sight. Dozens of books were now flying around the library, their covers flapping like wings. The noise was extremely loud, not just from all the flapping, but also from the strange cries that came from the books themselves. Poor Twilight simply froze in shock, while I facehoofed.

“Argh! There’s only one being on this planet that can be responsible for this!” I complained in annoyance.

“You rang?” Discord replied, sitting comfortably in the centre of the library, one of the avian books perched on his shoulder.

“Discord!” said Twilight. “What the Hay are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Canterlot helping the princesses?”

“Oh it’s alright, little princess. I’m on a break.” Discord proclaimed happily. “That and I had to see the newest addition to your group again.” He looked at me, grinning like the maniac he was.

“Discord, you are going to put my books back the way you found them, and then you’re going straight back to Canterlot.” In response, Discord turned himself into a childlike form and pouted.

“Oh but Twilight!” he complained. “I’m so bored! Celestia doesn’t let me mess with any of the nobleponies; I don’t get to cause any chaos anymore.”

“You’re causing chaos now, Discord,” I said “Me and Twilight were just about to get back to magic practice when you turned up.” This caused Discord to raise an eyebrow and return to his usual form.

“Oh, so the human’s learning magic is he, how odd. And from Twilight as well. Have you got your eye on somepony, Princess?” This caused both Twilight and myself to turn beet red, which in turn, set Discord laughing like a hyena. Luckily, at that point he decided he caused enough chaos and disappeared in a flash.

When we both recovered from our embarrassment, Twilight positively fumed. First, the pair of us, with Spike’s, and a while later my parents’ help, had to catch all the books and turn them back into actual non-flying books. While this was frustrating, it did give me a chance to learn how to reverse the effects of minor chaos magic. After that, Twilight had Spike send a letter off to Princess Celestia all but demanding Discord’s head. Only then could we get back to work. The whole debacle cost us a good three hours, but we still got a fair amount of studying done. Twilight told me that she wanted me to try teleportation tomorrow, a skill not usable by every unicorn.

With class dismissed for the day, I again returned to Sweet Apple Acres. On the way I bumped into Fluttershy. She was still looking after Lizzie while my parents finalised the purchase of the house they had selected. I hadn’t seen it yet, but Mum had told me about it while Twilight was writing her letter. It was a nice little place, in town and quite close to the Schoolhouse. Three bedrooms, a spacious living room as well as a dining room/kitchen combo and two bathrooms. All in all it sounded like a nice place, and they were getting it for a good price too.

Lizzie was still staying with Fluttershy and continued to help her look after all the animals. After getting over the shock of the stampede, the rest of the census had gone off without a hitch and the creatures had gone on their merry way. I asked her if she was coming to watch the Running of the Leaves next week.

“Oh yes, I always go to see all the other ponies race. I’m also in charge of making sure all the animals are away from the racecourse so they don’t get hurt,” she said.

“Are you rooting for anypony this year then?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m going to be cheering for Rainbow Dash again. I’ve been practicing ever so hard. Watch.” With that she inhaled deeply, reared up on her hind legs, before falling forward and proclaiming, in her typical voice, ‘yay’. I swear to Celestia, right then I was overcome by cuteness, adorableness and everything else the fandom attributes to Fluttershy. She did though become concerned by the slightly goofy look on my face caused by the sheer amount of ‘d’awww’.

With that, I headed back to the farm. It was sort of strange to come on to Sweet Apple Acres and find all of the apples gone from the trees. They were all being stored in the barns for now, though starting next week, along with selling the freshly made cider, which was gone by nine anyway, Applejack would be selling bushels of apples in the market. I wondered if she’d take Apple Bloom with her this time. From what I had seen, that filly had all but invented pressure selling in Equestria. There were still other crops too; you couldn’t run a farm on just apples. The farm also sported corn, carrots, potatoes and a variety of other crops as well.

At day’s end I headed off to bed. Ideally tomorrow, I’d get in a proper training session with AJ and RD, learn from the best and all that. While I was certain I had no chance of winning against either of those two, I did want to finish in a respectable position. However, that night I wasn’t in for a typical night’s sleep.

Chapter 21 - Nightmare

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I found myself wide awake in the middle of the night. It seemed like I had only closed my eyes for a moment before I was wide awake again. I tried for about half an hour to get back to sleep, but despite my tossing and turning, rearranging the pillow and counting sheep, rest would not come. So I decided to do what I had always done back on Earth when insomnia had struck, I went for a walk.

I tiptoed downstairs so as not to wake anypony else in the house. I knew I would regret doing this tomorrow; it was already two in the morning when I headed out. I set out amongst the bare apple trees in the moonlight. Like everything, the moonlight gave the farm a beautiful quality unmatched by the light of the day. I kept up a steady trot as I wandered in an aimless pattern through the trees.

As I turned around, I saw an odd glow in the distance. There was light emanating from Ponyville, as if the entire town was up and about. I had been going around the acres for a few hours or so by my reckoning, and I estimated it to be around five. Applejack and her family might get up soon, but Ponyville was usually silent until around seven or eight o’clock. As always is the case, I decided to investigate and headed toward town.

As I neared the small hamlet, I could hear voices, lots of them. It seemed as if not only were the residents of Ponyville awake, but they had also taken to the streets. Why though? It was far too early; I could even hear the shouts of excited foals badgering their parents. Something was off, that was certain. My hypothesis was conformed as I noticed the decorated state of the town. Everywhere I looked as I crossed the river, were banners and streamers and balloons. They each bore the same thing, the cutie mark of Princess Celestia.

Why would she be here? And where were the banners of Princess Luna? She was the ruler of the night after all. As I reached Town Hall, I found myself in a crowd of ponies, with no humans to be found. If everypony was up and out of their beds, where were the members of my family?

The whole area was ringed with Royal Guards; evidently the Princesses were due to make an appearance. As I moved through the crowd, I bumped into Lyra. Since she had concluded her interviews, we were on relatively good terms with one another, though I quickly discovered the idea of her being a reincarnated human like me to be false.

“Hey Lyra,” I greeted her. “What’s everypony doing out here at this hour? I thought I was the only one who liked to stargaze round here.” The equine anthropologist looked at me incredulously, as if I had said the maddest thing in the world.

“Come on, Blade Star,” she chided. “This is the most important event of the year! She’s going to be here any minute!” The mare was acting like a little foal on Hearths Warming.

“The princesses you mean. I take it that’s what all these Royal Guards are here for. But where’s the Lunar Guard, aren’t they pitching in?” Again Lyra looked at me as if I had gone mad.

“Blade Star what do you mean? There’s no such thing as a Lunar Guard. And what the Hay do you mean by ‘princesses’?” Before I could form a response, our attention was taken by a sight that made my blood run cold.

A strange blue mist swept around the assembled crowd moving up toward the balcony on Town Hall. I had seen that mist once before, way back in the past, when I first discovered the fandom. The mist settled on the balcony, forming into one of Equestria’s deadliest foes.

“Oh my beloved subjects,” a dark voice called out. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious, little sun-loving faces.” Nightmare Moon; she was back!

For the record, I despise Nightmare Moon. She wrongly took the title of Princess of the Night and forcibly took control of Luna. I will not, till the day I die, forget that look of absolute terror on Luna's face as the transformation consumed her. However, there was little I, or anypony else, could do against her, she was an alicorn after all.

I was panicking. I had to do something, beneath that monster was Princess Luna, the pony I admired above all others. I had to do something, I had to save her. I looked around for Twilight and the others, but I could not see them anywhere. As the Royal Guard attempted to restrain her, Nightmare Moon lashed out at them, sending them flying backwards.

Wait a minute. This wasn’t a return. It was a rerun. At last the puzzle pieces fitted together perfectly. I was in the past, somehow, back in the time of the pilot. This was the return of the Mare in the Moon after her one thousand year banishment. But there was no sign of Twilight, no sign of the Elements, just me. So, with my heart pounding and a desperate desire to save the pony underneath the armour she wore, I stepped out of the crowd.

“Nightmare Moon!” I shouted. This drew the attention of the twisted princess. “Well, well, well, somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here.”

“You seek eternal night,” I replied fearfully,. “But you are no princess of Equestria, your crown is false. You are not the Princess of the Night.” At once the enraged alicorn was beside me.

“Do you care to repeat that?” she asked coldly.

“Princess Luna is the Princess of the Night, not you!” I answered, with more defiance in my voice now. “You are just a twisted reflection! Return both princesses to us, you have no authority!” And so, I was introduced to a world of pain. Lightning arced across my form, I felt like my skin was being burnt off.

“No authority!” The Nightmare answered. “You foal! I am Luna! I always have been! The only difference between me and her is that I am willing to stand up for myself.” She flung me across the courtyard, at last releasing me from whatever spell she had used to attack me. “I am the ruler of Equestria now! The night shall last forever!”

She was not Luna. Luna would never do this. Somewhere in that monster she lay dormant, unable to move or speak. Without the Elements, I would have to find some other method to redeem her.

“Luna, I know you are in there!” I called out to the Nightmare. “You know this is wrong, you have to fight her. Night-time eternal will destroy everything. Then you will have no one. It will be just you, alone, for all of time. Remove that armour and let me help you.” For the briefest moment, I saw Nightmare Moon’s eyes return to Luna’s own. They were no longer reptilian, but were those wonderful blue orbs that you could get so deeply lost in. But just as quickly they returned to their previous state.

“You lie! You are just another of my pathetic sister’s lackeys. No matter what, I will always be in her shadow! Ponies like you shall not live in my new kingdom!” She reared up to attack me, this time it would be a killing blow. I braced myself. I had tried, but she was consumed, without the Elements, we were lost. I wondered why Twilight and the others were not here. It might have been fun to accompany them on their quest and be there to see Princess Luna’s redemption. But instead, I would die here.

Then though, the sane world intervened. The moon, which had hung motionless over the sky since Nightmare Moon returned, flashed a dazzling light. It was not the cold light of the moon under the Nightmare, but the soothing, gentle light I associated with Luna’s magic. Everypony, including the Nightmare looked away from the sudden bright light.

“Foul creature!” a familiar voice called. “You have a place here no longer, leave this place at once!” The Nightmare took a combat stance.

“What are you? The moon is mine!”

“You are incorrect, Nightmare Moon,” the voice replied. Again, the moon flashed and the speaker appeared. Luna was here, though I had no idea how. “I think you’ll find that the moon is mine, and that you are no longer a part of me.”

For a third time, the light of the moon increased beyond its normal levels. It began to form a beam towards Nightmare Moon, who cast spell after spell against Luna, to little effect. As the light focused, the dark alicorn screamed in rage. And then, she was gone. Everything vanished for a moment. The world then reformed and I found myself again on Sweet Apple Acres, with the true Princess of the Night beside me.

“Are you alright now, Blade Star?” she asked. “That was a very powerful nightmare. I have not seen one that strong for a while.” She paused again as I worked out what was going on. I had been dreaming, it was a nightmare, literally. She had come to save me from it. “You are correct. You are asleep.”

“I suppose it was a sort of attempt at wish fulfilment,” I replied at length. “I just wished I could have saved you, but I couldn't.” I bowed my head, my ears splayed back. Luna placed her hoof on my shoulder.

“Not even my sister could save me then, Blade Star. It took the full power of the Elements to release me from that horror. Nopony, no matter how noble their intent, could have talked me down that night. Though I must say, you did seem to come quite close. And now I am free of that dark influence.” She smiled at me, lifting my spirits somewhat. I then noticed something.

“Hey, you aren’t speaking using the Royal ‘we’ or any of that other old language from your time.” This caused her to giggle slightly in a very un-princess like way.

“I only use that way of speaking when I am in the castle. Tia suggested I try to adapt to speaking in this modern tongue, to help ponies accept me more easily,” she replied. It was nice to have a ‘normal’ conversation with her. “Besides, our time is now. Is it not natural that I talk in the correct manner?”

A wind began to pick up. I knew this to be a sign that I was waking up. Luna too sensed this, and began to take flight. As she moved away from me, she offered a piece of parting advice.

“Remember Blade Star, not everything is in your power. Some things you just have to accept and cope with. You cannot always play the hero, sometimes you need to just live your life.” And with that she, and the dream world we inhabited, was gone.

I woke up relatively peacefully. I was soaked in sweat from the bad dream, but I didn’t awaken with a start. However, I did bolt upright when I opened my eyes. The entire Apple family were gathered around my bed. They all had looks of worry on their faces, though these were now changing to looks of relief.

“What the Sam Hay are you folk all doin’ up here?” I asked in my southern accent. “Ain’t ya ever heard of privacy?”

“We were all just so worried about ya, Blade Star,” Applejack replied.

“Yeah!” chipped in Apple Bloom. “You started tossin’ and turnin’ in the night. An’ ya kept callin’ out ‘Luna’ over an’ over again. We tried to wake ya up, but we couldn’t. Ah was just about to go to get Twilight to see if she could help ya.” I relaxed and smiled.

“It’s okay y'all. Princess Luna herself came to save my sorry hide,” I replied. It occurred to me that Luna had never heard my other way of speaking. I wondered what she’d make of it compared to my much more prim and proper British accent, though that was probably a Trottingham accent to her.

I got myself up. I had definitely tossed about in the night, and the sheets would need a wash to get the sweat out of them. Despite Luna’s intervention, the nightmare had shaken me up more than I cared to admit, the image of Nightmare Moon always had.

I went across the hall to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. This both woke me up and assured me beyond all measure that I was awake. Though just to be on the safe side, I watched the clock in my room for two minutes. After that, I went down for a late breakfast, I had slept in to half eight. I had another magic lesson with Twilight at nine, so I quickly had breakfast before heading for the front door.

“Hey Blade Star, mind if Ah come and watch you an’ Twilight practice magic today when school’s out for lunch?” Apple Bloom asked. You can’t say no to that filly, so I agreed. In addition, since we were both going the same way, I offered to walk her in to school, so AJ could get in some more training. And with that, we set out for town and our respective schools.

Chapter 22 - Leap of Faith

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Finding myself once again at the library, I let myself in and found Twilight hard at work, surrounded by a variety of books on teleportation. Today, possibly, I might learn how to do that. According to the lesson plan she had given me, the entire day was set aside for attempting to learn basic, short range teleportation. If this came off, I would be a very happy unicorn to say the least.

“Morning Twilight,” I said as I closed the door behind me.

“Oh, good morning, Blade Star,” she replied, looking up from the text she was currently engrossed in. “Ready to start? I hope you read that bit of light reading I gave you.”

Twilight’s ‘light reading’ was a 400 page long tome, with tiny writing. I was glad that I no longer needed glasses in this new form, for I would have undoubtedly struggled to read it without my current 20/20 vision. It was tricky enough that I had to translate it in my head. My knowledge of modern Equestrian was coming on in leaps and bounds. It wasn’t as if I was learning a new language, with grammar rules and all sorts, the only difference was how individual letters were written, Equestrian had the same alphabet as I was used to.

Teleportation was, with the exception of high level alicorn and element magic, the most complex spell any magical creature could hope to create. It took vast amounts of concentration. From what I had read, even the slightest lapse could have disastrous consequences, such as teleporting yourself into a solid object. So, no pressure.

I wouldn’t be practicing the actual spell until later in the afternoon. The entire morning consisted of Twilight lecturing me on how the spell functioned. As I said, it required lots of concentration to accomplish. I remembered when she herself had partially botched an attempt, singeing both Spike, who was out on errand at the moment, and herself in the process. Hopefully, I wouldn’t do that. Twilight went on to talk about the actual casting. Without resorting to a very long lecture on how magic functions, to teleport, you had to weave a variety of spells together, keeping them all stable at the same time. When casting of course, a pony also briefly disappeared from the world. Only for a nanosecond, but it was a dangerous time, when you could fall out of the spell, and never rematerialize.

With all the safety stuff explained and drilled into my head by Twilight, who refused to move on until I could repeat all of it in my sleep, we began to study the spell itself. I still could not believe I was doing this. Teleportation, a dream of most humans since they first saw it on Star Trek, the possibilities were endless, assuming I could do it. Not every unicorn had the ability to cast such a spell.

Twilight herself, with the special talent of magic itself, had no trouble learning and frequently casting such a spell, and any alicorn could do it in their sleep. But for others though, it was not always doable. Rarity for example, despite having wielded the Element of Generosity could not teleport. Her special talent focused on fashion and her gem finding ability. My special talent, supposedly, was protecting ponies, though that still seemed a bit much for me. As such, neither I nor Twilight were sure one way or the other if I could teleport. But it never hurt to try.

So for the next few hours, I practiced the spell. I never cast it, only attempted to form it. This meant I cast my horn alight and went as if I was going to teleport, but at the last moment, I would deactivate the spell.

“It looks promising, Blade Star,” Twilight said encouragingly. “You seem to be able to reach the point of casting without trouble. A couple more practice attempts, and I think you’ll be ready to try.” I was glad of this; it was getting on for lunchtime.

After three more successful attempts, Twilight deemed me ready to give it a shot. It would be a simple teleport. All I had to do was teleport three feet to my left. This was an easy enough distance, not requiring loads of magic, but also enough to see if I had actually teleported, rather than just briefly phasing out.

I now stood in the dead centre of the library. In a few moments, I would either be the first human, sort of, to use teleportation, or I’d have spent over five hours learning about a spell I could never use myself. Twilight gave me one last check-up. When she pronounced me ready, she stepped back.

“Okay Blade Star. It’s all up to you now. Good luck.”

I closed my eyes and began to concentrate. I felt and heard my horn cast alight. I began to weave the spell together, bringing more magic together than I ever had before. Pushing my fears aside, I moved towards casting. The power of the spell increased, and I could see the light of my horn, even through my closed eyelids. The spell was now ready and stable. All I had to do now was cast it. I took a deep breath and, figuratively, jumped.

“Hey Blade Star. What ya doin’?” asked a voice suddenly, as the library door banged open.

I lost focus for a moment. Suddenly a wave of magic shot across me, causing me to cry out. The spell was becoming unstable. I had to shut it down. But it was too late, as I panicked, I began to cast. I felt the strange sensations Twilight told me were associated with teleportation, and I could tell they were not the normal ones. As I felt my body begin to phase out, I heard Twilight cry out.

“Blade Star!” she screamed. And with that, I was gone.

The magic of the teleport subsided. I seemed to have phased back into existence. Opening my eyes, I was confronted with darkness. Twilight had told me about this place, this was the Void. A teleporting unicorn or alicorn briefly passed through here, but it seemed like I had materialised here. As I began to panic, I quickly found that I couldn’t focus enough to try and teleport again. I could very well be trapped here.

“Blade Star!” came Twilight’s voice again. I cheered in my mind; she had come to save me from this place. I looked around for her, but in the darkness I could not see her.

“Twilight!” I called out. “I’m over here. This way!” I replied. Desperate to find her I cast my horn alight.

What I saw confused me. I could see towels, and pipes. Certainly an odd setting for the Void, called Hell by some species. Suddenly my world was bathed in bright light, and I saw Twilight smiling at me.

“Oh thank goodness!” she said. “For a moment I thought I’d lost you.” She pulled me out into the light, and I was in the library once again, relived to be back.

“Certainly a strange place that Void, Twilight,” I said. This drew a confused and eventually humorous expression from my teacher. As well as a giggle from Applebloom, who had obviously been the one to enter and throw me off.

“Blade Star, that wasn’t the Void. That was my closet,” I balked. Turning around, I saw that I had emerged from the small cupboard. I suppose the towels should have been a hint. “You just teleported in there when Applebloom came in and spooked you.”

“Well,” I said. “At least I know I can teleport now.” Silence persisted for a second before we all burst out laughing at the silliness of the situation. Apple Bloom then spoke up.

“Ah’m sorry I scared you, Blade Star. Ah didn’t realise that you two were so busy.” I smiled at her. You can’t stay mad at a face like that.

“It’s okay Apple Bloom. Ah’m okay. Besides, even if somethin’ had gone wrong, Twilight would have come saved my hide. Right, Twi?” I said. Twilight looked confused however.

“Blade Star, what in the wide, wide world of Equestria happened to your voice? You sound like Applejack’s cousin.” I realised that in talking to Applebloom, I had switched accents.

“Not sure, Twi,” I answered. “But, ah always talk like this back on the farm an’ whenever ah’m with the Apple clan.” This just caused Twilight to smile and shake her head.

“You’re almost as random as Pinkie Pie,” she said “Can you change back?” After a couple of attempts, we found that I could, provided that I concentrate. So I switched back to my ‘Trottingham’ accent to talk to Twilight.

“Well, now that we’ve got teleportation down. I suppose I best be off to get some training in with Applejack.” I paused. “Hey, do you think I can try teleporting there? It’s only a five minute walk.” Twilight gave her consent, and I disappeared in a flash of light.

I almost made it to where I wanted to go. My desire to show off came back to haunt me. I found myself again in Whitetail Wood, just not on the ground. In full view of Rainbow and Applejack, I was literally up a tree. Without much ceremony, I climbed down as the two mares looked on, sniggering behind their hooves.

“So how’d the magic practice go, Blade Star?” Rainbow asked sarcastically. At this point, both of them broke down into a fit of giggles.

“Can we just get to training, RD?” I asked, slightly irritated. “Or do you want to fall behind and see me overtake you on Thursday?” This got her into her competitive mind set.

So for the next three and a half hours, we ran and reran the course. The two mares were pretty much evenly matched, while I tagged along a few seconds behind. I may be fitter than I had been as a human, but I was still no athlete.

As we finished our fourth consecutive run, we paused for a rest. We all now had a good feel for the course. The majority of it was flat with only a few inclines. As such, it was more of a straight gallop. However, the length of the course meant that we had to pace ourselves carefully. Applejack told me how those in front tend to be quite tired, but those who finish further back even more so, due to poor pacing. As we headed back into town, we continued to jog to warm down. Rainbow took to the air as we walked. This reminded me of something I, along with every other brony, wanted to ask her.

“Hey Rainbow. Can you do the Sonic Rainboom for me sometime? I’ve seen it on the show a few times, but I’d love to see it in real life.” The Pegasus moved down to trot alongside me.

“Sure I can do it, but it’ll have to be somewhere out of the way. Last time I did it near Ponyville, I pretty much blew out every window in town. Twilight had me picking up all the glass for days,” she replied, wincing at the memory.

After we set up a time, roughly a day or two after the race, RD took off for her cloud home, while Applejack and I headed back to the farm.

“Ya know Blade Star,” she said. “Ah heard yer folks are gonna be closin’ the deal on their house in a couple days. Maybe tomorrow, ya could go an’ pay them a visit.” She was right; I hadn’t seen much of my family recently. It would be good to see their new home to be and to catch up generally. They’d certainly be in for a shock when I teleported in.

I promised AJ I would go and see them, as well as Lizzie tomorrow. Twilight had given me Sunday to rest and read up on the things I had learnt. She had also agreed to postpone the lessons over the next week beginning again on the Monday after the race. As such, I had tomorrow off from my magic lessons. I therefore decided to devote tomorrow to the thing I valued most, my family.

Chapter 23 - Sunday

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Today was Sunday. I had had an agreement with my parents about Sundays. In spite of my atheist beliefs, on the first Sunday of every month, I would accompany them to church. This would be a change for them. My family were by no means ‘god fearing people’, but they did believe in attending every week. In Equestria though, there were no churches.

The show had never been fully clear on this matter, but as far as I was aware, Equestria lacked the concept of religion. It wasn’t really necessary when you could simply make an appointment to see one of the princesses. While they themselves were not gods, they were fairly close to the definition.

As such, it seemed Sunday in Equestria was set aside simply as a day of rest, without any theistic connotations. Most of the shops in town were closed as was the school. Twilight kept the library open, but she rarely saw any patrons on a Sunday. As she had also suspended our magic lessons until the Monday after the Running of the Leaves, I had little to do. This was very much the calm before the storm though. Next week, until Wednesday, was Cider Season, and then on Thursday was the race. As I wouldn’t have a great deal of time on my hooves in the near future, I decided to use this moment to visit my family. I had neglected them a bit since everything had settled down.

My parents had selected a nice enough house just outside of town. It was by no means out in the sticks as our previous home had been, but it was a good walk to Town Hall. The final sale of the property was due in a day or so and I wanted to have a look round before then.

So, after breakfast, I set off for the address I had been given. Twilight had said she and my parents would meet me there to show me around. Rarity had really come into her own over the matter. Owing to my family’s unusual nature, non-pony furniture, such as chairs and higher tables were required. This was being handled by carpenters in town. Rarity however, had insisted on helping with the interior design, in addition to extending my family’s wardrobe to more than a mere two outfits each. It was therefore no surprise when I ran into her on the way there.

“Hello Rarity,” I called as I spotted the white unicorn ahead of me.

“Oh, hello Blade Star,” she replied, leaning out from behind the pile of clothes held in her magical grip. “I just thought I’d deliver these new ensembles to your mother and father. I simply cannot stand the idea of them only possessing a couple meagre outfits.” I rolled my eyes at this, although it was very generous of her.

“Really my dear, you are too kind,” I chided her. “You’ve made almost a dozen outfits between them, at least let me pay you for the material, if not for the work.” Rarity instantly harrumphed.

“I insisted that these be free. They are gifts, and I shall not take a single bit from either you or them.” She held her head high with her eyes closed. There was no way I could argue with that. So, we quickly fell into normal conversation.

“How’s business at the Boutique been then? I heard from reputable sources,” (Pinkie Pie) “that you’ve had quite a few orders for your autumn line.” She nodded.

“Quite, though I’m already working on the new winter collection. Fashion does move at such a pace, Blade Star, sometimes it is hard to keep up.” She paused for a moment. “You know Sweetie Belle talks about you all the time. It would be nice if you could stop by for tea at some point.”

I inwardly groaned at this. Rarity was a wonderful pony, but afternoon tea with her could be, to quote Discord ‘quite dull’. I quickly wracked my brains for a credible excuse, or even a way to postpone such a thing. But before I could she offered another suggestion.

“Actually Blade Star, in a couple of weeks, I will be going up to Canterlot to show off my new line at Hoity Toity’s fashion show. If you don’t mind, I would appreciate a stallion such as yourself coming with me.” I raised my eyebrow at this, causing her to start and instantly backtrack. “No no no, I didn’t mean like that! Just as a friend and for appearances.” She smiled hopefully at me.

“Oh alright,” I said, giving in. “just let me clear it with Applejack and Twilight first though.” It wouldn’t hurt to go with her, and I hadn’t spent as much time with Rarity as I had with the others. So, after Cider Season and the race, I was off to Canterlot.

As we continued to chat, the house came into view. It was a nice looking place. Standing out on its own was a two story building. Out front was a decent fenced garden, with a path leading to the front door. Vines climbed up the entire front facing wall of the house. Looking in through the windows, I could distinguish the kitchen on one side, and a living room on the other. The whole thing struck me as homely. The sort of building you imagine as the archetypal childhood home. Waiting for us was Twilight and my parents.

“Hello Rarity, hello Blade Star,” Greeted Twilight. We both returned her greeting.

“Hey there, my boy,” Said my father. Neither of my parents, or Lizzie for that matter had been able to convince themselves to call me by my new name. Fairly understandable I guess, for the moment they both called me son, boy or something to that effect, while Lizzie called me bro. The latter I have yet to explain, she never called me that back on Earth.

My dad had the keys to the house with him, borrowed from the estate agent. He turned the key in the lock and let us in. It was still quite strange to stand next to any member of my family. As a human, I had been about 5’8, now though, I was just a little over 4’2, though I could regain my height if I stood on my hind legs. As a result, I was the shortest person in my family. It’s so strange to go from being taller than both my mum and little sister; to having them both tower over me. On the other hand, everything in this world was better suited for me, most of the furniture in this house was being custom made due to the difference in scale.

Walking inside, I was greeted by a very nice, cosy hallway. There were two doors, each one leading to either the living room or the kitchen. In front of us was the stairs, which led up to the bedrooms and the upstairs bathroom. Beyond the stairs was the utility, leading to the back garden. All in all, the building was not very deep, but it by no means felt cramped. It reminded me of my old home back on Earth.

“You weren’t kidding. This is a pretty nice place, Mum,” I said, having looked all around the ground floor.

“Yes,” she replied. “As soon as the sale goes through and the new furniture’s finished, we can get out from under poor Twilight’s hooves.

“Oh please,” Twilight countered. “It’s been great having you two over. And you’re welcome to drop by anytime.” She turned to my father. “Do you want to hang onto those law books, Roger?”

“Sure, if you don’t mind. Your princesses said I could start working at the court tomorrow as I now have sufficient knowledge of your laws. Hey, while I’m thinking about it, I better stop by the train station; see if I can get a season ticket or something for the commute.”

Since my father would be working in Canterlot, he would need to take a train pretty early on. That was no different to what he did back on Earth. Day Court was held every weekday, so it would be similar to his old routine. He handed the house keys to my mother.

“Here, take these back when you’re done, love. And don’t forget to lock the door behind you.” He turned to face me. “Fancy coming down to the station, lad? I could use the company.” I agreed and we both set off, leaving Twilight, Rarity and my mother to continue to look around the house.

We headed back the way me and Rarity had come, and entered Ponyville proper. It was nice to see they were both settling in. Soon enough, they would have their own home, and Lizzie would be able to join them if she wanted to. We both strolled down the main thoroughfare towards the station. It was a nice enough building, but relatively non-descript. We were confronted with the timetable and price list, in Equestrian, of course.

“Erm, I don’t suppose you could translate this lot for me?” My dad asked hopefully. I sighed and responded, setting in motion an odd turn of events. Firstly, my southern accent kicked in.

“Dammit, Dad! I’m a unicorn not a universal translator!” I complained. Instantly though, my father had a smile on his face. The kind of smile you associate with trolls. There was a brief silence.

“That’s it!” He exclaimed all of a sudden. “I know what I’ll call you now.” I already half saw where this was going, the effect of a particular turn of phrase and my southern accent pointing to one logical answer.

“What?” I asked half-heartedly.

“I shall call you ‘Bones’!” he professed. I bloody knew it! He took his liking for Star Trek way too far. On the other hand, at least he’d stop calling me ‘boy’. Resigned to my fate, I set about translating everything for him and we managed to get him a season pass for Canterlot.

With that done, we walked to the nearby park. Sitting down, my father looked at me curiously.

“You know you look like a dog when you sit like that, right?” He said. I laughed as I looked at the natural position I had taken up on the bench.

“Would you rather I sit like Lyra does then?” I briefly repositioned myself into what resembled my father’s posture. “Because I can tell you, this is by no means comfy for a quadruped.” We both laughed as I resettled.

“Bones, I know it’s you in there, but I still can’t get over it,” he said at length, shaking his head and smiling. “It’s just so strange, knowing that my own son is a, well.” He trailed off.

“A horse, a pony?” I offered, he nodded. “You just have to realise dad, these ponies aren’t like the ones on Earth. Don’t think of them as ponies, think of them as aliens. That’s what they are really, except for appearances; they’re nothing like the creatures we remember.” This seemed to give him food for thought, and we both relaxed for a while.

“How’s Applejack?” he eventually asked. “You seem to really have settled down up there.” He grinned as if he was implying something.

“She’s fine; we’re all getting ready for the start of Cider Season tomorrow. There ought to be around two dozen barrels of the stuff every day. You just wait; the queue’ll be a mile long.” My father smiled knowingly.

As he was about to continue, he was interrupted by Spike, who ran up to us. In his claw was a scroll bearing the seal of Princess Celestia.

“Hi you two. Just got this when I was cleaning the library, looks important.” He handed the scroll to my father. Breaking the seal and opening the scroll, my father was confronted by a letter written in Equestrian. I cast my horn alight and gently took the letter from him.

“Here, let me translate that for you,” I said, pre-empting his request. I looked over the letter, quickly translating the letters in my mind. “Dear Roger. As you now feel that you are ready to aid me here in Canterlot, please find enclosed your Royal Travel Pass. As a representative of the Equestrian government, you have the right to free travel across the nation for the purpose of work. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Signed Princess Celestia. P.S, Sorry I didn’t give this to you in my last letter, it completely slipped my mind.” I couldn’t help but grin.

“Well, looks like Trollestia strikes again,” I said jokingly. “Come on, we can probably get that ticket refunded.” My father laughed as well.

“I still can’t get over the whole magic thing,” he said. “Even you’re using it now.” I decided not to show off my teleport ability this time, he seemed more than fascinated by levitation and Spike’s fire breath. We headed back to the station; luckily my father was able to get his money back, particularly after he displayed his newly acquired pass.

We then returned to the library. Lizzie had returned to Fluttershy’s, while my mother and Twilight had come back here. We found the human in the kitchen cooking happily, while Twilight busied herself with reshelving books. By the smell of things, my mother was doing a nice soup dish for dinner.

“This must be the first time you’ve cooked for a princess, eh Mom?” I said as our little trio entered.

“Oh dear, you know Twilight doesn’t care for that title,” she replied. “You staying for dinner?” I was about to decline and head on home for the evening, but I did promise myself that I’d spend more time with my family today, so I agreed.

“Sure why not. You making croutons to go with that?” I asked.

Author's Notes:

Well, if you haven't already guessed, I am a bit of a Trekie, though it's nothing compared to my Bronyness.

For those of you confused by our protagonists new nickname, allow me to explain. In the original series of Star Trek, there was a character called Dr McCoy, frequently called 'Bones' by Kirk due to his role as ship's surgeon. Like our protagonist he had a notable southern accent. The clincher though is a particular line. Aside from 'He's dead Jim', McCoy was known for frequently complaining 'Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor not a... ' hence where my little reference comes in.

I just felt the human characters needed something to call him. And for whatever reason, I couldn't see the parents using his taken Equestrian name. This will cause Blade Star to be the butt of many jokes too.

Anyway, moving on. GOOD NEWS! The cover art is now complete. As soon as I settle accounts with Wadusher0, it will be put up on the front page.

Also, I did my Vietnam War exam yesterday, think I did pretty good. Hopefully a 2:1.

As always comments, criticism are appreciated.

Chapter 24 - Cider Season

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I was up and working early on, even by Applejack’s standards, the next morning. With the moon setting behind us, we hauled out the cider press and the hundreds of apple bushels for cider making. The idea was that we would make the first batch this morning, fresh for the customers, and then keep going all through Cider Season to keep up with demand. Even as me and Big Mac strained at the cider press, we could see and hear the first ponies stirring from the many tents set up along the fence line.

The system of making the cider was the same as I was familiar with. Granny Smith acted as quality control, inspecting every single apple to ensure it was suitable for cider, discarding it if it was not, and throwing it into the press if it was. Applejack and Applebloom would work together in a rally to bring new bushels of apples out each time the current one was exhausted. As for the two males of the Apple household, I and Big Mac would run on the treadmill of the press, certainly good training for the race.

We hauled the cider press into position near the barn; Big Mac had spent the last few days reassembling the contraption. Despite his apparently simple nature, Big Mac was apparently quite intelligent. If you could convince him to open up. It wasn’t that he didn’t like to talk, just that for most of the time, he preferred to listen. He was actually quite a complex character.

“Alright you two unhitch yerselves and get ready to start runnin’,” called Applejack as she brought out the first load of apples. We both disentangled ourselves from the harnesses and stepped onto the treadmill.

“Okay,” I said, mainly to myself. “If we start slow and ease our way up to a high speed, we should be able to churn out enough cider for everypony.” Starting at a run was almost impossible anyway, and a smoother pace was needed to create the best cider.

“Eeyup. Just take ‘er nice an’ steady,” said the red stallion next to me. And with that, we braced ourselves on the treadmill. We let Granny Smith sort through the first bushel and Applejack bring the second before we started a slow walk.

The cider press, considering Equestria had the beginnings of computers, was remarkably basic. I stood on the treadmill, which via pulleys and ropes moved a great circular stone which would press the apples, the juice then went into barrels which would ferment for a few hours before being sold as cider. Naturally, this didn’t fit with my own knowledge, but then again, this was Equestria and I was a previously fictional equine.

By the time the sun began to break the horizon, marking the hoofover of power between the two princesses, we had about a dozen barrels happily waiting. This first spate of production would slow as Applejack and her younger sister invariably broke off to serve the cider and take in the Bits.

As the many ponies that had spent the night camped out in front of the acres emerged, we had over thirty barrels ready and waiting.

“Oh come on! Again?!” Came the distraught cry from poor RD, as she found herself far back in the queue. However, with Applejack’s agreement, I had taken measures to see that this time, the Pegasus had no trouble in getting at least one mug.

Big Mac and myself kept up a steady pace on the press as new bushels were steadily sent in. Further back by Granny Smith I could hear her continuous commentary on apples, consisting of ‘good un’ and ‘bad un’ depending on the quality. This was really more like a day’s worth of training for me, three days running on this press would improve my already good stamina no end. I called out to Applejack who had just left the stall.

“Ya know it’s mighty strange, AJ. Before ah came here, I was the laziest feller you’d ever see. You and yer family have made a new pony out of me. Hay, I wonder if y’all’d even recognise me if I was still human.” This drew a smile from Applejack.

“You were lazy, Blade Star? Really? Cos ah’ve known ya fer a couple weeks now, and Ah say yer one the most hardworkin’ ponies ah’ve ever met,” Applejack answered, surprised. “Besides, ya said yerself, yer a new pony now.”

I suppose it had only recently begun to dawn on me properly. I was a new pony. I wondered how much of the ‘me’ that had first crossed dimensions, the ‘me’ that was human, was left. Running on a cider press for a few hours will make anypony philosophical and wistful, regardless of their species.

As the sun rose higher, the temperature inevitably increased. Luckily, to ensure we didn’t sweat ourselves away, AJ called a halt to our work at midday. Both me and Big Mac went back to the farmhouse to have a quick drink and rest up. So once again, I was to have a conversation with the ever talkative Big Macintosh.

“So,” I began. My slightly improved social skills weren’t going to be of much help here.

“Eeyup?” Big Mac replied.

“How many Cider Seasons have you seen then?” A fair enough question, considering the pointlessness of discussing the weather.

“Getting’ on fer two dozen ah s’pose,” he replied. “Bin at it every year since sis got back from Manehatten.” I remembered that little story. It still made me smile, the idea of the Applejack I knew mixing with some high class city slickers. For some reason though, it also made me uneasy.

“Ah’ve heard a fair bit about that place, kinda like a city back on Earth, New York. Looks the same, has the same type of folks. Same problems.” This seemed to peak Mac’s interests.

Half an hour later, Applejack came to fetch us to relieve her at the stall. Big Mac would go back to the press, while she and Apple Bloom would continue bringing in fresh apples. What she found was her brother and me chatting openly. I must say, when you get Big Mac talking, he knows his cookies. We chatted about Manehatten, city life and our mutual distaste for it, as well as dipping into politics, something I had not expected of him. This also, I suppose marked an increase in his acceptance of me. He had never had any sort of problem with me, but he was just a little overprotective of his siblings. I chalked that up to whatever had happened to their parents, and I didn’t intend to open that can of worms.

“Well, as much as I hate to break up you two country hens, it’s time to get back to work,” Applejack said as we halted our conversation.

“Alright AJ, we’re goin’, we’re goin’., I said good naturedly. “I’m on the tap right?”

“Yep, two bits a mug. Try not to let Pinkie buy the entire stock. Big Mac, you up fer another hour or so on the press?”

“Eeyup,” he replied.

So we all trotted back out. The line for cider, if anything, seemed to have grown as the day wore on. Undoubtedly, some ponies would be spending a second night out here.

Compared to working the press, actually serving the stuff was far more taxing. Not on my muscles, but on my patience. You would think that it’d be a case of taking the bits and drawing a couple mugs. Oh no, you had ponies come up demanding two dozen mugs, ponies that would inevitably try to haggle a bulk price and all the time you had ponies trying to get to the front of the queue, sure in the knowledge that it was their turn next.

The result of this near riot over cider eventually forced my hoof, or rather my horn. Several times, I blasted off magic into the air to mimic a gunshot. This usually caused any unruly parties involved to calm down, or gallop off into the distance. All that was missing from the scene sometimes was the classic western piano music in the background. I wouldn’t have minded, but this stuff wasn’t even alcoholic.

I personally had yet to try any of the cider. That had all been accounted for in my plans to help Rainbow. While I knew it was undoubtedly good, the lengths to which the inhabitants of Ponyville would go to get just a sip were astonishing. More than once, Big Mac or AJ had to come and help out, just to prevent the stall from being overrun.

Eventually though, the queue’s length began to diminish and the ponies became quieter as their desire for cider was satisfied. Apple Bloom told me that the first day of Cider Season was always like this and that by the end, things were much more relaxed. Big Mac eased up on the press and the number of barrels began to diminish. Inevitably, I saw a certain rainbow-maned Pegasus nearing the front of the queue. She reached me just as the last barrel emptied. The look on her face was a strange cross between rage, unbridled anger and resignation.

“Oh come on, Rainbow Dash,” I said, smiling. “Do you really think I’d leave you ciderless, given how well I know you?” I produced the barrel that I had set aside for RD, me and the Apples. Rainbow’s eyes lit up like a filly’s on Hearth’s Warming. Hooking the barrel up to the tap, I drew us each a mug each. Her reaction was to utter the phrase ‘Oh my gosh’ around half a dozen times at an incredible speed.

“Well, cheers everypony,” I said raising my own mug.

Right up to that moment, I wasn’t much of a fan of cider. But as soon as I got a drop of that stuff. Well, let’s just say I now understand why the ponies around me were so desperate.

By evening, we all adjourned to the farmhouse. Big Mac and I hauled the press back into the barn and packed away the stall. Once again Applejack had promised to do her best to increase production. It wasn’t that we were short on apples. But we couldn’t just divert everything into cider. Of the apples we had harvested, the majority would be sold as is, not just in Ponyville, but across Equestria. Then you had a share for the production of apple juice. Finally, there was the good stuff; Applejack had a small number of the apples go into the family’s Hard Cider. This year’s production wouldn’t be ready for another few years.

However, the hard cider from eight years ago was more than ready for drinking. Thus I found myself with Big Mac and AJ, enjoy a couple glasses of the stuff. Like the last time I had had a drink with anypony, it was quiet and civilised. With the notable exception of Berry Punch, alcoholism and binge drinking seemed non-existent. If you had a drink, you might get a bit tipsy, or drunk, but it wasn’t a social activity in and of itself.

We spent the evening discussing and reminiscing amongst ourselves. I’ll admit the cider did loosen my tongue somewhat, but I didn’t let slip anything embarrassing. If anything, it served to reinforce the existing strong camaraderie between us all. After three glasses each though, we decided to pack in, the stuff packed a wallop, not as much as Moonshine, but it was still strong.

Tomorrow, we would do it all again. It might have been tiring, but according to Big Mac, the farms profit over these three days increased tenfold over the norm. And since that money consequently went into my pay, it was not something to sniff at.

Chapter 25 - Justice on Sweet Apple Acres

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Apple Bloom had said that today would be ‘quieter’. She was right. This time, I only had to fire two warning shots into the air while I was serving the cider. The queue still stretched all the way back to Ponyville though. We also had a bit of extra help today as well. In thanks for holding back some cider for her, Rainbow, in a touching display of loyalty, helped Big Mac on the press, giving everypony else an easier time. AJ and Applebloom were able to keep up a steady pace delivering new bushels, and I could permanently run the shop front. In spite of her age, Granny Smith was like a machine when it came to her quality control. It was this that had arguably saved the farm last Cider Season.

With Rainbow’s help we were able to increase production somewhat, pleasing ponies no end. It wasn’t that we were short on hooves to help us; it’s just that you can only make so much good quality cider each day. The increase also allowed us to satisfy what Applejack called ‘Pinkie’s Share’. Every day of Cider Season, Pinkie would turn up, without fail, and buy at least a dozen mugs.

“Ya know Applejack, if that were anypony but Pinkie Pie, ah’d say she was sellin’ stuff on the Black Market,” I said as AJ brought me another fresh barrel.

“Fer a while ah thought she was,” she replied. “In the end ah had AB follow her back to Sugarcube Corner an’ see if she was doin’ that.” The orange mare smiled wistfully. “Turned out she just drinks lots of cider, an’ Ah mean lots.” She burst out in a fit of giggles.

We kept up this pace all through the morning and by lunchtime; the queue had trickled away considerably. The addition of myself and Rainbow Dash had raised the overall output to something near last year’s. She had also realised the usefulness of access to a treadmill prior to the race, which was after all, in two days’ time.

It was about one in the afternoon, when we had just come back to work, that I was met with a pleasant surprise. Twilight, Fluttershy and all my family descended on Sweet Apple Acres. It was nice to see Twilight outside of a school based setting. Fluttershy and Lizzie came together, while my Mum and Dad came with exciting news.

“It’s finished!” My Mum exclaimed gleefully.

“What is?” I asked. “The house?” My father hugged my mother and smiled.

“It sure is, Bones,” he replied. “Twilight and the removal folks just finished getting the last bits and bobs in, so we’ve moved in today!”

“Although, a couple things need replacing, one of those ponies was a bit clumsy.” I sighed inwardly.

“This pony didn’t happen to be a pegasus mare, grey coat, blond mane, bubble cutie mark, with a lazy eye?” I asked knowingly. Twilight rolled her eyes in the background.

“Well, now that you mention it,” my mother began, but I signalled her to stop there. She, like Twilight, rolled her eyes. “Brony thing I’m guessing?”

“Eeyup.”

Applejack heard my impression of her elder brother as she walked up to us with yet another fresh barrel, drawing a laugh from her. Spotting her two friends, she greeted them kindly. It was nice to see that nopony was making any real fuss about my human family. As I said before, everything had practically settled down, though whether that was a good sign or not was still debatable. Applejack drew a few mugs of cider.

“Fancy joinin’ us?” She asked the assembled group. “Y’all should at least try one mug of cider before ya head out.” Both my parents took a mug, as did Lizzie and Twilight, each in turn handing over a couple of bits each. Fluttershy also took one, though I think she may have just been being polite. In spite of this cider’s non-alcoholic content, I insisted that I would stick to apple juice until we all finished for the day. Customers however, continued to lessen as the afternoon wore on, so we had some time to catch up with each other. My parents were still baffled by my change in accents, at this point I was almost used to my southern one though. As my family headed off, Applejack turned to me.

“So, er, Bones?” she asked curiously.

“Don’t you start as well, AJ,” I said jokingly.

An hour or so after everypony had headed back, we were getting ready to halt production and move all the kit back into the barn. RD warned us that a bit of a storm was set up tonight, we had after all, had almost two weeks of clear skies. Luckily, in view of Cider Season lasting one more day, she had managed to schedule the storm for the night. While this would ruin my view of Luna’s night, the viewing of which had become something of a habit, at least it wouldn’t affect customer numbers tomorrow.

Me and Big Mac had one again hitched ourselves to the cider press and were preparing to drag it in, when we were approached by Rainbow; she seemed some kind of ticked. Streaking down from her advantageous altitude, she alighted alongside us.

“Guys, we got trouble,” she said as the retracted her wings.

“What do ya mean, Dash?” I asked, as I relaxed in the harness.

“I saw a couple of ponies snooping around the apple orchards. Didn’t get a good look, but they were definitely there.” I unhitched myself completely from the press.

“Well, best go tell Applejack then. Big Mac, I’ll be back in a minute to lend ya a hoof, okay?” The stallion nodded, so we both set off.

We both sprinted back toward the farmhouse. Applejack, Granny Smith and Applebloom had already headed in to set up dinner. The two of us burst in like a couple of Royal Guards, scaring the life out all three of them.

“Now what in the name of Celestia is goin’ on here?!” Applejack demanded.

“We got a couple snakes in the grass, AJ,” I replied.

“Yeah, I saw two ponies snooping around the orchards,” Rainbow elaborated. Applejack and Granny Smith scowled.

“Come on Blade Star,” she said, picking up her lasso. “Let’s go find those varmints. If there’s one thing Ah don’t have time for, it’s a no good thief.” If only we had a couple of Winchester repeaters, I thought to myself. “Rainbow, you mind taggin’ along, we could use your speed if they make a break for it.” RD saluted and took off.

Night was just beginning to reclaim the sky from the day, and the clouds were moving in as we reached the orchard Rainbow had found our two ‘visitors’ in. There was definitely somepony there, and judging by the way they were searching the trees, their intentions did not seem honourable. Sweet Apple Acres apples were of the highest quality, which meant that every now and then, you’d get somepony trying to get a couple for free, or in an attempt to cultivate their own high quality apple trees. They were doing their best to keep low, but were making a bit of a hash out of it. My military experience may only amount to hours of Call of Duty and Operation Flashpoint, but even I could do better than they were.

“Looks like there are only two of them,” Applejack whispered. “I reckon we oughta be able to take’ em.” As we looked on, the two ponies, split up, heading to opposite ends of the orchard. “Perfect. Blade Star, you take the one on the right, an’ Ah’ll take the one on the left. RD, you stay back here in case somethin’ goes wrong.” We all signalled our understanding and set off.

I kept myself low to the ground as I moved towards my assigned mark. It was a unicorn pony, so I figured I might need magic. I had a couple low level spells that would help, and if worst came to the worst; I could just discharge raw magic. Twilight had taught me well. The unicorn looked, given his size, to be a stallion; I managed to get behind him. I figured I would take him by surprise and use a basic restraining spell Twilight had learned from her brother.

It was then my mind decided that I ought to say something before taking the bugger in. The words of a certain Captain Macmillan entered my mind. I crept closer to him; he was still unaware of me. Even in this quadruped body, I could still swing a decent left hook. It would disorientate him and give me a better chance of restraining him safely.

“Oi, Suzy!” I called out in my best Scotch accent.

The stallion promptly turned around to get socked in the face. I wasn’t surprised to see a god-awful red moustache on his muzzle. It seemed some old friends were back. Apples tumbled out of the sack he had slung over his shoulder. I was about to use the restraining spell Twilight had taught me when the little sod kicked out, throwing me off balance. He quickly scrambled to his hooves and began to gallop away.

I quickly began to give chase, for he was heading back to his companion, but before I did, I charged my horn and used what Twilight termed a ‘Flare Spell’, to light up the overcast night so all could see where they were going. The bright red light showed up my own quarry, as well as Applejack and Rainbow struggling with their own.

“Stop in the name of the diarchy!” I cried. Always wanted to say that.

As we both neared the struggling trio it looked very much like a fight would break out. Two unicorns against a Pegasus, an Earth pony and a partially trained unicorn, did not give good odds.

It was then though, that Big Macintosh came charging in like the 5th Cavalry. Evidently he’d seen my Flare spell, come to investigate and seen what was going on. He was going hell for leather across the open ground heading straight for us. To this day, I have never seen any creature as terrified as those two conponies. He broadsided the one I was pursuing and the other quickly surrendered to Applejack and RD. We all closed in on the now very frightened pair.

“Well, well, look what we got here,” Big Mac said, wincing slightly from the pain in his shoulder. “Long time no see Flim, you too Flam. Ah s’pose we ought to have a little talk.”

Luckily for the Flim Flam Brothers, that was all Big Mac did, talk. Apparently, after they had fled Ponyville, they had continued up and down the country trying to flog their low quality produce of cheap cider and nonsense tonics, each time drawing ire from the local population when they were found to be either, in the case of cider, undrinkable, or in the case of their tonic, glorified apple juice with no medicinal qualities. As a result they were two of the most wanted ponies in Equestria. When the Guards came to collect them, they were more than happy to go, quite desperate to get away from the Apples and myself, as well as RD. They would be taken back to a court in their home town of Fillydelphia to answer for fraud charges, in addition to the theft charges we intended to bring against them. As I said, Sweet Apple Acres apples were of the highest quality, the one thing their attempt at cider lacked.

By the time the whole matter was settled, it was quite late and the storm was imminent. So we quickly hauled the cider press back inside, just as rain began to fall, and then we went back to the farmhouse for a late supper. One more day of Cider Season, and then the day after was the Running of the Leaves. I asked Applejack if I could keep working on the press all day tomorrow.

It became clear that this would be a necessity, as Big Mac’s tackling move had put his shoulder out somewhat. Rainbow also had to work tomorrow clearing up this storm. So tomorrow, I would work the treadmill, while Apple Bloom would serve the cider. Big Mac was restricted to hauling the, to him, light bushels back and forth.

Chapter 26 - Close of Season

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Today was the final day of Cider Season. Tomorrow was the day of the race, and I was sure to get some good training in today. With Big Mac walking wounded after barrelling into the Flim Flam Brothers, I was the only one available to man the treadmill. On the plus side, the increase in pony power to pull the apple bushels around meant that Applejack and everypony else, would be able to ease off. As for me, well, AJ summed it up pretty well.

“Right Blade Star. We’re ready to go. Now start runnin’ like you’ve never run before!” And so began the longest marathon I have yet endured.

The first difficulty presented was getting everything moving. Once the treadmill, and consequently the massive press, was rolling, it was easy to keep up momentum. Starting however was another matter. My hooves struggled to get grip even on the treadmill and I regretted not having Big Mac’s herculean strength to help me at least move off. It was like trying to push a car uphill, with the handbrake still on.

Finally though, I gained traction, and began to move off. I was rewarded with the slightly off putting sound of slowly pulverized apples. Evidently, I had played too much Dead Space back on Earth. Now that I was moving, I began to increase my pace. It was still tricky though. I had to keep things steady. If I slipped up the whole thing would stop and I’d be back where I started.

About twenty minutes later, I had progressed to a proper gallop and had stopped accelerating. From now until lunch, all I had to do was keep going with my current steady pace. It was fast enough to keep up with demand, but not so fast as to cause the press to run dry, which, according to Granny Smith, happened once before and caused severe damage to the very expensive press.

“All the stone got chipped, an’ wouldn’t press no more. Belt went and snapped off an’ all of those confangled pulley things done gone ‘n’ snapped,” she told me. Needless to say, I didn’t want that to happen. Even with my current funds, there was no way I could pay for a new one, and for the Apples, it would cripple them financially.

The Apples were by no means poor farmers. I always found such ideas to be a contradiction in modern times. Nevertheless, they were not swimming in bits either. I suppose they rested just on the borders of middle class in terms of their savings and wealth.

I looked across to the stall where Applejack was. Apple Bloom and Big Mac were still hauling bushels into the press. She seemed to be getting into a pretty heated argument with one of the customers. Probably another muppet who though he could haggle. There was always somepony who reckoned that they deserved a lower price than everypony else. Applejack usually convinced them otherwise. This guy however, didn’t appear to be getting the hint.

“Look partner,” AJ said. “It’s two bits a mug, and that’s that. If ya want more then ya pay the same rate. An’ ten mugs are still twenty bits.” The stallion though, was still not dissuaded.

“For goodness sake!” he complained in a Manehatten accent. “Nopony’s gonna spend that much for bulk. Every other place in Equestria does some sort of bulk discount. And don’t give me no horseapples about this being a family business neither.” That ticked me off, but I remained confident AJ could handle him.

“Look, there’s no discount on Apple Family Cider, mister. Unless you wanna pay the proper price, move along.” Then, he went and did something very, very stupid.

“Oh come on, sweetheart. I’m sure I can find some way of making it up to you.” He made eyes at AJ. Needless to say, that didn’t quite sit right with her.

“Ah’ll say this once, partner. Git.” Her eyes took on a hard look. Having seen how fast she could clear a tree, any fool could tell annoying Applejack was a bad move. Except this guy of course. He then said something which, for the sake of Applejack’s honour, I am not going to repeat. What I will say, is that the remark earned him a hoof across the face. Now, he too was ticked off and looked ready to sock her back. Luckily though, help was at hand.

As the pair stared each other down, the stallion found himself in a shadow. A big one. It belonged to Big Mac, and he’d heard everything. By this point, everypony else had stopped to watch the grand spectacle unfold.

Big Mac’s expression remained impassive. His eyes gave nothing away. To an opponent, that is more frightening. And it sure as hay made him a hell of a Poker player. In the briefest of moments, all traces of cockiness in the stallion vanished, quickly replaced by fear. Even walking wounded, Big Mac’s sheer size made him a force to be reckoned with. He snorted crossly.

Finally, having realised that he was faced with, an angry Applejack, Big Macintosh and a crowd of onlookers, the stallion evidently concluded he was in the wrong, and he set off at a very fast gallop.

I’d kept up my pace on the press, but had been ready to jump off in the event Mac needed help. But it takes a special kind of stupid for a pony to take on Big Mac one on one. He spoke briefly to his little sister.

“Ya okay, sis?” he asked gently.

“Ah’m fine, big brother. Ah could’ve taken him anyways,” she replied smiling. With that, the brick red stallion returned to his work and AJ went back to serving the customers. Half an hour later we broke for lunch.

After a decent lunch we still had a half hour or so before we needed to get back to work. Sweet Apple Acres was a beautiful place, either under Luna’s moon or Celestia’s sun, so I took the opportunity to contemplate things for a bit.

The big race was tomorrow, and all the training I’d put in, either in Whitetail Woods, or on the cider press would hopefully pay off. After that, at some point Rarity was taking me to Canterlot. It would be a nice chance to get in some early Hearth’s Warming shopping done. I always believed in being prepared. Such a visit would also give me the opportunity to see Princess Luna again. I wanted to thank her for her advice and timely act of rescuing me from that nightmare. And just as a chance to talk, I liked to think we had a fair bit in common. Personality wise, not the whole thousand year exile by her own sister bit.

I moved to think about my long term plans. Given what I had found out so far, barring any sudden new development in magical science (now there’s a contradiction!) we would probably be here for the rest of our days. It wasn’t that I had severed all ties with Earth and humanity. It was just that I had forged new ones here. I regretted that I would never see the Grand Canyon or be able to get a pilot’s licence or go and visit Paris one more time. Nevertheless, things could be worse, so I wasn’t going to complain. I had friends and family, a job, lived in a beautiful place. What more could I ask for?

“Bit fer yer thought, Sugarcube?” said a voice behind me. I jumped up, startled. It was Applejack.

“Nothin’ much, AJ. Just contemplatin’ the great mysteries of life,” I replied, smiling. The orange mare looked intrigued.

“Oh, any groundbreakin’ theories? Or are ya just messin’ around with ideas?” she asked as she came and sat down next to me.

“Just thinkin’ about my life. What’ll happen. What’s happenin’ back on Earth. I didn’t count on turnin’ into a pony and wakin’ up in the Everfree.”

“So what did ya bank on happenin’?” she asked. I looked away.

“Ah don’t know. I figured Ah’d get a steady job in some office after a while. Maybe do that fer a few years. Meet a nice girl, settle down.” I paused to think.

“Two out of three?” I looked up. “Ya ain’t got no fancy office job, but you got those other two things.” I supposed she was right. I was too lost in my own thought to spot the hint.

“Ah just wonder what everyone else back on Earth thinks. Do they think we all just vanished? Do they think we’re dead? An’ what about my dad's business, who’s runnin’ that now? Ah’ve left a lot behind, AJ.” I stopped, I was becoming too depressive about something beyond my control.

“How about you? Ya always plan on runnin’ this here farm?” This made the mare smile.

“You know it. Ah had a bit of a funny time when ah was a filly. But I know that this is where I belong.”

“Must be comfortin’, being so at one with yer destiny,” I replied. I supposed that all Equestrians were pretty sure what to do with their lives. While I had a cutie mark, I wasn’t certain what it really meant.

“Ah wasn’t always, Sugarcube,” she said. I turned my head to look at her. “There’s been a few times where Ah thought of givin’ up. Shoot, there were days when Ah wanted to leave this farm and never come back.” She paused and looked down at her hooves. “When our folks passed, Ah wanted to leave. Ah couldn’t fill their horseshoes. Sure Ah could buck apple trees, but Ah didn’t know nothin’ ‘bout runnin’ a farm. The whole world seemed like this void. No roads, no directions. But trust me, Blade Star. When ya find yer callin’, ya won’t miss it.”

And with that, she got up and headed back towards the cider press. I could see it and the huge stack of barrels in the distance. She turned round and called back to me.

“Ya ain’t gonna find yer callin’ sitting on yer flank. Come on Bones!” she hollered. Great, now she’s calling me that too. I smiled and trotted back toward the press.

When I got back, I was again faced with the task of getting the press moving again. The effort required quickly banishing any of the previous introspective thoughts from my mind. Once again, after about twenty minutes, I was up to speed again. This was the last of the cider for this season. Instead of being sold, it would stay in the barrels in the barn steadily fermenting. Hard cider had an unusual taste. Something along the lines of whiskey if nothing else. It had a similar golden colour as well.

Big Mac brought another bushel of apples for the press. There was only a few more left. The end was in sight. Unlike the end of Applebuck Season, we would, hopefully, not have to face a stampede of frightened rabbits.

“Here ya are, Bones,” he said chuckling. Guess I’ll just have to get used to that. It was better than the nicknames I had on Earth in any case. And when I thought of that character, I supposed I could take some positives from it, McCoy was a decent guy. Apple Bloom did the exact same thing when they hauled the last bushel in. Applejack called out.

“Alright now ease ‘er down to a stop, Blade Star.” With that, I slackened my pace and let the machine’s own weight bring it to a halt. We all looked to each other smiling. I jumped down off the press.

“And that gentlecolts, is how we do that,” I said.

Me and Big Mac hauled the press back into the barn, where he’d disassemble it until next year. For all intents and purposes, Sweet Apple Acres was now done until Winter Wrap Up. The orchards were bare; all the crops had been harvested. From now on, sales would come from the stores. No more applebucking. We all headed back inside to get some grub.

It was around nine o’clock when I found myself again out in the apple orchards. It was still bright, the moon again casting its glow across the land. I wasn’t always sure why I did this. I just enjoyed it. If I ever had a rough day back home I would do one of two things, depending on the weather. Either play ‘The Smile Song’ on YouTube or go out and look up at the night sky. Given that there was no internet in Equestria, and that I had access to the real Pinkie Pie, the former was rendered void, the latter however, had been improved hundredfold. For the second time that day, I was joined by a familiar figure.

“Ah thought Ah’d find ya out here, Bones,” Applejack said. I smiled.

“Hi ‘Jack,” I answered. She trotted up next to me and looked at me perplexedly.

“’Jack’?” she asked, perplexed.

“Well, if y'all are gonna call me ‘Bones’, I reckon it’s only fair Ah get to give you a nickname too. Just shorter than sayin’ ‘Applejack’ all the time.” She thought for a moment.

“Yeah, ah like it. Feels like it fits me.”

“Now then, what do ya wanna talk ‘bout?” I asked.

“Ah was just thinkin’, ya know a fair bit about mah life. But Ah don’t know much about you. About yer past Ah mean.” That made sense.

“Well, there’s not much to tell ’Jack. Ah’m twenty two years old, did good in school, went ta college, got me a degree. Had a few friends in high school. I weren’t no loner but I wasn’t Pinkie Pie neither, got bullied some when I was younger too. Used to spend most of my days buildin’ model airplanes or readin’. Then Ah came across all this.” AJ promptly cut me off with a question.

“What did ya get yer degree in?” she asked.

“Politics. Which accordin’ ta most makes me a cheat an’ a liar,” I said with a ghost of a smile.

“Ya ain’t no liar, Bones. An’ that’s comin’ from the Element of Honesty herself,” AJ replied. “So what about yer family?”

“Just us really now, and a few cousins scattered around the old Empire. No close family left though. Not like you, yer family has to be one of the biggest Ah’ve ever come across. How long till the next reunion anyway?”

“A few months yet, can’t expect everypony to travel long distance in the winter.” A fair enough reason, given Equestria seemed to get actual winters, as opposed to the British winter, which was identical to the British autumn, spring and summer. I wondered how long it would be before the first snow came. We were entering October now and getting close to Nightmare Night. I guessed everypony would hunker down when the snow did come.

Me and Applejack kept talking well into the night. Mainly just really getting to know each other’s stories and telling each other tales of our lives. I could hardly leave her in the dark if I was going to be living under the same roof as her for the foreseeable future. We talked about my folks, I was careful not to ask too much about her own, out of respect, my time in school and our experiences of life in general.

By the time we turned in, it was getting pretty late. The race started at half past ten tomorrow and we had to be there at the top of the hour. I’d done all the training I could, as had Applejack. Tomorrow it would all come together.

Chapter 27 - Whitetail Downs

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I woke up bright and early. Today was the day. Race day. I contemplated staying in bed just a little longer; I was going to be done in by day’s end. Celestia though, evidently had other plans, for the sun moved to a position where it could shine through the small crack in the curtains and shine into my eyes. No matter what I did, I was still blinded, so I resolved to get up. I would get up and close those bloody curtains and go back to sleep for ten minutes.

Of course, fate, or Celestia had planned for that too, as the curtains wouldn’t quite close properly. After wrestling with the curtains for a good five minutes, I realised that it would be pointless to return to bed. So, I headed downstairs. My stomach was already demanding food.

In spite of my herbivore diet as dictated by my species, I had found over the last couple of days that I missed meat. Not to the point of a desperate desire, just an awareness of its absence. Even now, I had a minor craving for a sausage sandwich. Of course, in reality, I found meat quite unpalatable now. When I had visited Fluttershy’s cottage to see Lizzie I had been able to smell the meat she kept for her carnivorous friends. The smell that once made my mouth water now almost made me gag. Yet another part of ‘me’ that was lost during my transformation.

I shook my head. That is why you don’t think about stuff this early in the morning. I reached the bottom of the stairs and headed on over to the breakfast table. As ever Granny Smith was slaving over the stove. Big Mac was busy trying to restrain his youngest sister, who was bouncing around like nopony’s business. Evidently, the pre-race excitement had got to her. Applejack, or ‘Jack, as I now called her, was conspicuous by her absence however.

“Where’s Applejack got to, Granny?” I asked the elderly mare.

“Oh, she wanted to get in some last minute trainin’ fer the race today. Ah think she’s at the course already helpin’ folks out there,” she replied. Not unexpected AJ did style herself as one of the most dependable ponies around.

I had my own breakfast, with the race, it was vital that I had a good breakfast before attempting the course. After that, I bid goodbye to Big Mac and Apple Bloom, who would later join me and AJ at the racecourse, watching from the stands, and set off to join Applejack.

The trip to the course’s start was relatively uneventful, though I did see a few other entrants to the race on the road. When I arrived, most of the stands, decorations and course markers were already set up. I found Applejack hauling a couple hay bales into place to mark the perimeter of the course.

“Mornin’ Applejack,” I called. “Need any help?” The mare paused and briefly pushed her Stetson back to wipe her brow before replying.

“Sure Bones. Grab those last few bales and haul ‘em on over this way.”

I decided that this would be a good opportunity to practice my magic, namely levitation. AJ preferred not to use it in the running of Sweet Apple Acres, with good reason. It kept everypony, including unicorns like myself in top physical condition, magic in her eyes, was a form of cheating. But it was only a couple of hay bales; they were pretty light, even Applebloom could move them without too much trouble. Channelling the magic into my horn, I encased the two bales in my typical dark blue aura, and lifted them about four feet off the ground. If nothing else, it was good practice for me. I wouldn’t be having any further tutelage from Twilight for at least another three days.

Me and Applejack reached our respective destinations at almost exactly the same time. I lowered my two bales into position before cutting off the levitation spell, while AJ, with great finesse, simply bucked them off her back, and smiled knowingly as each bale landed in its proper place. Just for a laugh, I whistled the first few bars of ‘Anything you can do’. I was surprised when AJ whistled the next few bars back.

With the course now set up and ready, the wildlife cleared from the course area by Fluttershy and Lizzie and the racers steadily streaming in, we both prepared for the start. Very quickly we were joined by Rainbow Dash. In her typical way, she performed a quick pass over our heads, her rainbow coloured trail streaming behind her, before coming about and alighting before us.

“Sup, guys,” she said in greeting as she resettled her wings.

“Howdy, RD,” Applejack returned. “Up for comin’ second this year?”

“Oh AJ, I wouldn’t want to steal your spot on the leader board,” Rainbow replied with feigned sincerity.

Obviously, while they had agreed to run a good clean and fair race this year, there was still a bit of friendly rivalry between the pair.

“Just as long as we don’t have to lash down yer wings this year, Rainbow,” I chided. “Though I wouldn’t mind seein’ ya trussed up like a turkey again.” This drew a giggle from Applejack.

“Oh lay off, Bones,” she countered. Great, did everypony in Equestria know that nickname now?

We kept talking for a few minutes as racers continued to pour in. We’d already been to pick up our markers. Rainbow was 4, Applejack was 6 and I was lucky 7. As the start time for the race came closer and closer, Applejack spoke up again.

“How about we make this race a bit more interesting?” she asked playfully. Rainbow groaned and turned to me.

“Blade Star, life advice. Never agree to a proposal from anyone, not even your best friend when they offer to make things ‘a bit more interesting’,” she cautioned. Were it anyone but Applejack, I would be inclined to agree with her. But as the Element of Honesty, I’d say she was pretty trustworthy.

“How much AJ?” I asked.

“Twenty Bits. Me or RD,” she replied.

“Deal. I’m puttin’ my twenty on Applejack,” I replied, before spitting on my hoof and sealing the oral contract in time honoured fashion. Rainbow however, was less willing and seemed to bow out. I couldn’t resist.

“Do my eyes deceive me? Is the great Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash, backing out of a competition?” This got RD going, and she immediately put forward her own twenty Bits, raising the pot total to sixty.

“What’s going on here?” Asked a familiar voice, we had been joined by Twilight. “Did I hear the sound of bits exchanging hooves?” She paused for a moment. “I’m in. Put me down for Rainbow.” And much to our surprise, she too put forward her own twenty bits.

With that we heard ‘Call to the Post’ go up, and we all headed for our respective positions on the grid. In total there were about thirty five, perhaps forty racers. Certainly able to produce enough force to shake the leaves from the trees. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were right at the front of the pack, while myself and Twilight were further back at around tenth position.

“Ready for this, Blade Star?” she asked. Evidently, word hadn’t yet got round to her of my recently acquired nickname.

“Born ready, Twilight,” I replied cockily. “Who knows, I might even be the underdog of this race.” I was also delusional. High above, Pinkie Pie and Spike hovered in Twilight’s balloon. A megaphone attached to the basket allowed both of them to pass their comments onto the spectators below.

“Well Spike, here we are again for the annual Running of the Leaves,” announced Pinkie.

“Right you are, Pinkie,” Spike returned. “And this year for the first time, the race will feature extra-Equestrian competition in the form of recent arrival Blade Star. Though by the looks of things, the odds are still resting on Ponyville’s two most competitive ponies; Applejack and Rainbow Dash.” Cheers went up as Spike announced both names. Rainbow earned particular admiration from Scootaloo, who was bouncing amongst the crowd using her small wings to briefly propel herself upward.

“Alrighty everypony. We’re coming up to the start,” Pinkie cheered. The racers, myself and Twilight included, braced ourselves in preparation for the start.

“Racers, on your marks,” came Spike.

“Get set,” followed Pinkie. I tensed myself for the start. The start after all, was everything.

“GO!” The two commentators shouted. A loud bell rang and we charged out of the gate. The race was on.

The noise was positively deafening. There was the thunder of hooves, the excited cheers from the waiting crowds and all the while, high above, Pinkie was commentating as only she could. It was like watching the horse races on a Saturday back home. Poor Spike struggled to even get a word in.

“And it’s Rainbow Dash closely followed by Applejack, Lyra challenging her as we come up to the first furlong. Closely followed by Derpy Hooves looking for an opening as the pack clears the gate. Looks like a few had a bit of a poor start with Roseluck bringing up the rear with number 52. The track this early on is quite rough so it’s not a wonder the start is tricky with many a hoof struggling to find that initial grip. And of course the sun of our dear Princess Celestia for once being an inconvenience as racers are forced to charge headlong into that early morning light.” At last she paused for a breath, but was quickly back at it again.

“And now we see everypony starting to spilt up, Applejack and Rainbow Dash still favourites in the odds pulling away with amazing speed. Extra-Equestrian underdog Blade Star sticking close to the front of the main pack so far with Twilight Sparkle who took fifth last year in spite of her being novice. Looks like early on the odds are tallying up with Applejack and Rainbow Dash continuing to pull away from the rest, number 4 and 6.” At last I was able to tune Pinkie out and focus on the task at hand.

First task, avoid going over. Galloping this fast surrounded by other ponies mere inches away would make a slip up quite painful. Second, try and pull away from the rest early on, that way I could ease off and have good reserves for the final sprint to the finish. The herd mentality of the whole thing kicked in as well. I felt a strong need to keep up with the others, sticking as close as I could. My vision also tunnelled very quickly and I could only just see Twilight out of the corner of my eye. She too was initially giving it her all.

The first part of the course was relatively open. Not many trees just yet, the real point of the whole exercise was Whitetail Wood. That of course had a further incentive to keep everypony moving. Namely, falling behind typically meant getting covered in innumerable leaves.

I kept myself going steady and began to clear the pack as did Twilight and a couple others. It was only marginal progress but I was nevertheless drawing further forward. By my reckoning, Twilight and myself were now at fourth and fifth respectively. Lyra was just ahead of us holding on to third. Bon-Bon had fallen a bit further behind.

“Enjoying this?” Twilight asked as we galloped. She wanted a conversation now?

“Sure I am, Twilight,” I replied between breaths. I was straining myself a bit, so I eased off. “Think we can take Lyra?” She nodded and put on a burst of speed. Not one to be outdone I followed her.

We drew level with Lyra as we crossed over the river. Our first attempt at passing her was cut off by the narrow bridge. As we both went to try and pass her on either side the road narrowed. Had we both continued we would have sandwiched poor Lyra and probably all gone over on the bridge, causing a huge pile-up. Luckily, we both saw the oncoming danger and backed off.

Our second attempt was more successful, the road broadened out again and there was now room to pass. For one of us. Being a self-styled gentlecolt, I let Twilight pass. She did seem a tiny bit faster than me at the moment anyway. I quickly followed her and, much to Lyra’s consternation, we passed her. I was now in fourth and Twilight had taken third. About three hundred yards up ahead we could just about make out Rainbow’s multicolour mane, Applejack simply blended into the woodland colours with her gamboge coat blending into the background.

We were now entering Whitetail Wood. Instantly, the number of leaves increased almost exponentially. My vision was filled with red and gold hues. While we were ahead of the pack, the oncoming vibrations could be felt this far ahead. I sure as anything pitied the poor saps at the back that would have to gallop almost blindly through the storm of falling leaves.

It was just as beautiful as when I had visited with Twilight or with AJ and Rainbow. It gave a very New England sort of feel with all the beautiful autumn leaves. Even at the speed we were going, which by my reckoning was somewhere in the 25-30 mph ballpark, I still found time to admire the beauty of it all. Twilight did as well, naturally. Though not like the last time. Indeed, this year she seemed to have changed her strategy somewhat. While she wasn’t going hell for leather, which incidentally is not a phrase one should use in Equestria, she was certainly going faster than the gentle trot. We’d both been jockeying for position since we began, there was very little difference between us. Given the unlikeliness of catching the two front runners it was now a battle between the two of us.

“Well, Twilight. Looks like it’s just you and me now, eh?” I called to her.

“Oh don’t be so sure, Blade Star,” she countered. With that she put on a burst of speed and inched ahead of me. She was trying to mess with my head a bit, get me to waste energy to regain mere inches. Clever girl. High above Pinkie’s commentary filled my ears again.

“Well with the pack now spread out we’ve got half a dozen minor battles going on. Up front the two favourites Rainbow Dash and Applejack are still giving tit for tat and about three hundred yards back Blade Star and Twilight are fighting for third. After that comes the main pack now lead by Lyra after that loss just pass the last bridge. We’re now coming up to the area that saw so much hijinks last year by the two leaders.” Spike promptly took over as Pinkie paused for breath.

“It sure is a tough section, Pinkie,” he said over the megaphone. “The whole area is littered with buckets to collect tree sap, plus there’s several wasp nests littering the area. Racers will have to watch their tails if they don’t want to get stung.” He was about to go on, but Pinkie cut him off, at last abandoning her race commentator personality.

“How do you know they’re wasps, Spike? I always thought they were bees. Ooh, ooh, do they each make different noises so ponies can tell them apart. Do bees go ‘buzzzz’ and wasps go ‘buzzzz’?” Of course, there was no difference between the two sounds. Bugs did sound different though. I could recognise the sound of one particular native bug species any day of the week. Bugs always unsettled me. Particularly them.

We were now about halfway through the wood. As Spike had said, we passed many a bucket of collected tree sap. I actually had to leap over a patch of tree sap, possibly the same sap that got spilled last time. Luckily, it wasn’t sticky enough to impede my progress, but, as Twilight found out, it did leave a sticky feeling on your hooves.

Amazingly, we were now even closer to the two leaders. Close enough to warrant some ‘encouragement’. I thought back to that ‘Band of Brothers’ series and their first CO, Captain Sobel.

“The Japs are gonna get you!” I called to RD and AJ. This was quickly followed by ‘High ho, Silver!” Both mares turned back to look at me in confusion. “Just run faster!” I clarified. And the two mares rolled their eyes and turned back to focus on beating each other. I turned to Twilight to offer her some encouragement. “Not far now, Twilight. Ready for the sprint?” As soon as we cleared the wood, we’d both go as fast as we physically could to get as close to Applejack and Rainbow as we could. Twilight was starting to struggle, but nodded.

And then we cleared the wood. The leaves finally stopped falling and all that could be seen was the wide open Equestrian countryside. And the finish line. It was about a quarter of a mile away and I could see the cheering spectators, including all of my own family as well as the Apples. Pinkie and Spike were hovering over the finish line. Dangling from a rope, Spike held a camera in his claws, ready to get a photo finish.

Me and Twilight were still neck and neck, neither of us giving an inch. I had a brief inner conflict over what to do. Should I let Twilight take third without trouble, or should I give her a run for her bits? Quickly, I decided on the latter and powered forward, inching ahead by a nose or two. As we reached the stands, I could hear my father in particular yelling. He seemed to have fallen back into an old routine.

“Come on, Rainbow! I want those bits! Run!” he cried. Looks like I wasn’t the only one who’d partaken in games of chance. Personally, I thought that was a fools bet. I was banking on Applejack winning this with her superior stamina against Rainbow’s straight line speed.

They crossed the finishing line and the camera went off. We crossed the line about three seconds later. Twilight and me were also too close to call and I was briefly dazzled by the camera flash. As soon as I crossed that line, the tiredness kicked in. I had been so focused on the race I hadn’t really fully appreciated the burning pain in all four of my legs or the pain now caused by breathing. Needless to say, with the race over, my body quickly put me back in my place. Clearing the track I simply lay down, dead to the world.

When I had at last recovered fully about ten minutes later, I found that the result of the race was still in dispute. Spike had taken two shots; one of Rainbow and Applejack crossing the line and one of me and Twilight. The second image was easy enough, by about half a nose I had just about piped Twilight at the post setting us in third and fourth respectively. The question now was who had taken the much sought after first place. And would I be winning any bits?

The problem lay in the first photograph. Judges were clustered around the table on which in sat studying it with magnifying glasses. Twilight walked over and did her best to help by enlarging the photograph via her magic; even the smallest difference would help determine a winner. But try as they might they couldn’t seem to find a definitive answer.

Next my father, who apparently had put a whopping fifty bits on Rainbow winning, pushed aside the judges and studied the photograph for himself. His eyesight though, was not what it once was. So, the inevitable happened.

“Bones, you come and have a go. I can’t do anything and none of this lot will agree.” He gestured to the judges surrounding him. I trotted over to look at the photograph for myself.

With Twilight’s help the original Polaroid was now about 2x2 and much more detailed. Very CSI: Miami in that way. The shot was top down and caught both mares the instant they crossed the line. I tried looking for anything that would distinguish the two. A hoof stretched out, an inch more of muzzle, Hay even one of them bobbing out their tongue would have settled this. But no, there was nothing.

“Looks like a tie to me, Dad,” I answered at length. This was subsequently backed up by Twilight and the judges amidst cheers of disappointment from the assembled crowd. Most disappointed of all of course were the two mares concerned. Forced to settle for a joint second place, Twilight had to hastily duplicate the silver medal. I myself got the bronze for third place. While Twilight got a medal for her fourth place position, she was more than pleased that she had improved over last year’s fifth place.

As for the bets, anyone who had a bet on either of the joint victors got their original bits back, so at least the supposed winners were not out of pocket. Still, not that some ponies and humans were a bit annoyed.

“Honestly, another inch, Rainbow!” my father complained. “Another inch and we’d both be winners.” Rainbow was just as annoyed with herself as was Applejack. While they didn’t see themselves as failures, they were annoyed about the inconsequential outcome of the much vaunted race. Suddenly though, another voice spoke up.

“At least you have your bits back, Roger. I’m a good one hundred out of pocket,” came a maternal voice. I looked up in surprise as the crowd parted to reveal Equestria’s Solar diarch. Very quickly, the slight bitterness of the situation was forgotten as the crowd promptly bowed. Myself included, I was a citizen of Equestria after all.

“This is the second time you two have tied in the Running of the Leaves,” she said to Applejack and RD. “Still, at least this time you ran a fair race. Surely you’d agree tying in a fair race is better than coming joint last in an unfair one.” Ah, Tia, ever the troll.

“Ah s’pose,” said Applejack. “An’ we did still both get medals an’ a split of the prize money.”

“Yeah!” RD agreed. “A silver gong and two hundred and fifty bits isn’t all bad!” Celestia smiled as the general mood began to pick up. As the crowd and the victors went to satisfy their new found desire for revelry, the Princess turned to me, quickly noting the bronze medal around my neck.

“My, my Blade Star. A third place on your first attempt. Perhaps I should consider you for the Royal Guard. You certainly have the stamina,” she said.

“Thank you, your highness,” I replied, ensuring that I spoke with my Trottingham accent. “Twilight did very well as well. For most of the race I was just trying to keep pace with her.” Celestia smiled.

“I also understand there was a bit of an incident at Sweet Apple Acres two days ago. A theft if I remember correctly. You helped catch the two responsible.” I blushed, to this day I insist that Big Mac did all the work. “It certainly speaks to your own special talent, Blade Star.” I turned to look at the two crossed sabres on my rear. With that, the Princess took her leave to bid farewell to the resident of Ponyville. Before she did though, she turned back to address me one last time.

“You know I also heard that you may be heading to Canterlot soon. Is that true?” I nodded. “If you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you could stop by the castle at some point. My sister often speaks of you.”

“I’d love to, your highness,” I replied.

“Then I shall see you in Canterlot.” She paused. “Bones.” And with that, she headed off.

Interlude 3 - Darrowby 385

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Note: This chapter takes place from Lizzie's perspective.

Now that the ponies had had their huge race, all the animals me and Fluttershy had moved away from the course had to be moved back. There were loads of different species, and each had to be done one at a time. Starting with the smallest creatures like the rabbits, mice and songbirds, we would move the population of Whitetail Woods back from their temporary accommodation near the cottage to their original homes. Fluttershy said there was never really much of a risk of any of the animals getting hurt, but I knew she would never forgive herself if something did happen.

The plan was to start in the early morning and move all the creatures based on their size and sleep schedules. While the bats that were currently living in the attic were quite small, we would leave them until much later as they slept through most of the day. I guess that there were roughly about two hundred animals to move today, and only the two of us to do it.

I’d always been good with animals, but Fluttershy’s abilities were epic. She could literally talk to any of the animals. They would understand her and she could understand them. Sure, I could work out when the animals she cared for needed feeding or if they were hurt, but I couldn’t work out say, when one of the birds wanted to move to a different house because the sunlight was annoying them. But that aside, I got on well with most of the animals. As soon as Fluttershy said I was okay, they all warmed up to me. It was kind of like being in a petting zoo.

There was one animal that I didn’t get on with though. Fluttershy kept this rabbit with her all the time. She called it ‘Angel’. That has got to be the most inappropriate name for such an evil ball of fluff. That rabbit had to be the single most evil little creature I have ever come across. It was really smart and had the foulest of tempers. No matter what Fluttershy did, he always seemed to throw some sort of wobbler. And she always went and forgave him afterwards when he got his way. Fluttershy was one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, but you can have too much of a good thing.

As we sat eating breakfast, Angel bounded up to Fluttershy holding both his breakfast bowl of carrots and lettuce and a cookbook. He immediately stamped his foot on the table to make his presence felt. He’s such an obnoxious little brat.

“Oh, what is it Angel Bunny?” Fluttershy asked. The rabbit opened the cookbook and showed her a picture of an extravagant dish that was probably almost as big as him, and tapped his paw against it. Evidently he wanted it.

“Why don’t you have your breakfast first, Angel? Maybe when we get back from helping all the other animals move back I’ll make it for you.” This sounded fair enough. But in response, ‘Angel’, kicked away his existing breakfast and began to lie on the table, looking ill.

“Well, I don’t want you to starve,” Fluttershy said, wavering. I stepped in at this point. I just couldn’t bear to see this happen again.

Reaching down to the floor, I picked up Angel’s breakfast off the floor. Scooping the spilt foodstuffs back into the bowl, I put it on the table in front of him. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow, as if saying ‘Are you serious?’. I returned that with a look that simply said ‘Yes’. The rabbit still refused to eat though. Ordinarily, I’d have been inclined to pry open his mouth and force feed the little bugger. But Fluttershy wouldn’t approve of that. So, I tried an ultimatum.

“Eat or go hungry,” I said, staring him down. Fluttershy moved to protest but I quickly motioned her to be quiet. After a brief staring contest, Angel began to eat.

“Sorry about that, Fluttershy,” I said after he had bounded away out of earshot. “I wouldn’t have really let him go hungry. I was just bluffing.”

“Bluffing?” Fluttershy asked.

“I made him think I was serious. I didn’t have to actually do anything, because he thought I was going to do something,” I explained.

“Oh, I don’t like to be unkind to my animal friends. I only use ‘The Stare’ if they’re being really uncooperative. Most of the time, I’m able to make them see reason. I even managed it with Discord, I think.” I recognised that name. Bro had been having some trouble with him recently, and Dad had met him when we went to the castle. He sounded like a real jackass.

As for Fluttershy’s unique ability, ‘The Stare’ was something that had to be seen to be believed. She only ever used it, as she said, as a last resort. But it was definitely something when she did. It was kind of unsettling to watch; the way the animals seemed to get all hypnotised and simply did as they were told. It would be a dangerous ability in the wrong hands.

After breakfast, we started getting all the animals organised. They were scattered all over the place, right up to the border with the nearby forest where we arrived. Fluttershy said she’d been in their a few times, but it always made her scared. That was the oddest thing about her. She would be timid as Hell most of the time, but when it came to caring for animals, she was all business and not afraid of anything. Twilight said she’d even once managed to reduce a huge fire-breathing dragon to tears.

Fluttershy decided to begin with the rabbits. They were the most flighty of all the creatures we had to move. I certainly didn’t want a repeat of that crazy mess when that dog that lives with bro and his friends came and scared them all. That thing was properly mental. Fluttershy called to me.

“Lizzie, can you head up near the brook and bring all the bunnies from there here?" She threw me a few carrots to ensure I had no trouble.

“Okay, Fluttershy,” I replied. The rabbits were more than willing to follow me when they saw the carrots I had, and they quickly all settled when Fluttershy told them to. We then began to lead them back towards the woodland they came from. I stayed at the back of the small, furry column, while Fluttershy, using her wings, flittered around the group setting any strays back on the right track.

“Right, we’re going to have to go through Ponyville now, Lizzie,” Fluttershy said as we approached the village. “Do your best to keep them together and make sure nopony gets in their way or scares them. And don’t let them eat anything.”

That last bit proved to be the most difficult. Ponyville was filled with flowers and vegetable patches, all of which looked delectable in the eyes of rabbits. We moved fairly slowly, so both of us constantly had to go and catch rabbits that were threatening to stray off to feed, and at the same time, keep the whole group together.

At last though, we cleared Ponyville and were getting quite close to Whitetail Woods. The rabbits knew where we were headed and as soon as they saw the wood, they took off back to their homes. As they disappeared into the undergrowth, Fluttershy turned to me.

“Well, that’s one group done; now we can move on to the small birds.”

This was easier said than done. With her wings, Fluttershy had no trouble staying with the birds and keeping them together. I on the other hand, confined to the ground, could only follow below with some bird food to entice a few to follow me. Worse still, this time everything had to be managed in three dimensions. The birds could easily peel off and disappear into the distance very quickly. This meant Fluttershy had to do the jobs of three people, ponies. When we finally reached Whitetail Woods again after about an hour of herding the huge flocks we were both exhausted. But I felt like I hadn’t done that much to help.

Fluttershy saw me down below and landed next to me. Her eyes were filled with the same concern she had shown when I had first met her.

“Lizzie, what’s wrong?” she asked. Her voice filled with the same concern I could see in her eyes.

“I’m not being much help am I?” I replied bitterly. “I mean, I can’t fly, the animals don’t trust me like they do you, and I can’t communicate with them like you can.” I was about to go on, but Fluttershy cut me off.

“But you help,I looked up. “Lizzie, I’m not looking for another expert. You help me as much as you can. I couldn’t ask for anything more. Besides, you do help me with loads of things.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“Well, you help me keep Angel Bunny under control; you know I let him get away with too much. You’re more used to handling meat than I am and you’re not scared of the carnivores like I sometimes am. You help me out so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you. It’s just nice to have somepony else around the house.”

With that, she stood on her hind legs and hugged me like Mum and Dad used to do when I was little. I could see what bro meant when he talked about an Element of Kindness. Fluttershy was the definition itself. After a few moments, she released me and settled back on all fours.

“Come on,” she said. “We have a few more species to move.” And so we headed back to the cottage.

We’d moved loads of different animals today. This last one though, puzzled me. The whole reason that we had originally moved them away from the racecourse was so that the huge stampede of ponies wouldn’t hurt them. This last group though would probably have come off best in any altercation. We had to move the bears.

When you consider how timid Fluttershy can be, you may think her to be completely unsuitable for a task like this. Seeing her converse though, and order around no less than half a dozen fully grown grizzly bears quickly put that idea to rest.

I could see she was a little scared, or at least, she was being extra careful. I was too, even on all fours, these bears shoulders were eye level with me. It was much nicer moving the foxes and badgers and boars back. The bears were quite harmless though really. They ambled along quite happily, content to follow me and Fluttershy. I’d never been this close to bears before, I’d always thought that they were really territorial and didn’t like getting too close to humans. On the other hand, we were the first humans here since, well forever.

As we neared the wood for the last time, I noticed one of the bears was limping a bit. I pointed this out to Fluttershy who, after cursing herself for not spotting it, went over to check on the bear.

“Oh, are you alright? It looks like you’ve strained something,” she said looking over the left hind leg. The bear grumbled a response. Fluttershy had him stop and lifted the leg off the ground.

“Does it hurt here?” she asked, receiving what I assumed was a ‘no’ in response.

“And how about here?” As soon as she touched it, the bear let off a loud bellow, rolled over and began cradling its leg. Fluttershy though, seemed unconcerned. “Shh, it’s okay. You’ve just strained the muscle at some point. She removed something from her saddlebags. Quickly she bandaged up the leg and gave the bear some sort of pain medication and advice to rest up for a few days. But for the moment the bear apparently wasn’t able to put weight on its foot and couldn’t walk.

The other bears were able to lift its front half off the ground and me and Fluttershy helped to keep its injured leg off the ground. Something which Fluttershy, who was actually weaker than me in strength, confessed she would not have been able to do on her own. After a few minutes, we made it to the small cave which the family of bears called home. We were all, human, pony and bear alike, tired out from lifting the heavy weight, but the bear seemed quite thankful.

With all the animals resettled back in the forest, Fluttershy and I headed back home. I wasn’t sure yet whether or not I would go and live with Mum and Dad at their new house. I’d been turning the idea over in my mind frequently.

As we entered the small, cosy little cottage, Fluttershy removed her saddlebags and placed them out of the way. She always kept it on hand in case of sudden emergencies. Angel was sitting on the sofa waiting for us, cookbook in hand, again. Since she had neglected him a bit today with all the work, and as he had eaten his breakfast as I asked, Fluttershy decided to give him what he wanted.

I headed upstairs to lie down for a bit. Carrying semi-crippled bear takes a lot out of you. As I went upstairs, Fluttershy called me.

“I’m just going to the library, Lizzie. There are a few books I need to return.” I don’t know why I said what I said; it was just habit I guess. In any case, it made both me and Fluttershy freeze and look at each other.

“Okay, Mom.” A very awkward silence prevailed.

Chapter 28 - Cupcakes

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It was about eleven o’clock in the morning in mid-October, with the sun not shining and a look of hard, wet rain in the clearness of the foothills. I was standing in the hallway of old Stern Wood’s place. Above the doors which could have let in a troop of elephants, there was a stained glass panel showing a guard in bright, shining armour rescuing a pretty mare tied to a tree. She had no clothes on but she had a very long and, convenient, mane. He was fiddling with the knots and not getting anywhere. If I lived in this house I thought that sooner or later I would have to climb up there and help him; he didn’t seem to be really trying.

I waited for the butler to come back. I was wearing my powder blue suit, dark blue shirt, tie and display handkerchief, and two pairs of black brogues on my hooves. I was neat, clean, shaved, and sober, and I didn’t care who knew it. I was everything a well-dressed private detective ought to be. I was calling on four million bits.

My foray into the world of Equestrian crime fiction, graciously gifted to me by Twilight was brought an abrupt halt when a wave of pain surged in my head. Instantly, I dropped the book I was reading and doubled up in agony. Whatever it was, it was sudden. It was worse than any migraine I’d had. I tried massaging my forehead and quickly found the problem. An apple, and a rotten one at that, had become impaled in my horn.

Across the way, Applejack and Apple Bloom had been collecting any of the unsellable apples to feed for the pigs. I’d been watching them this morning happily making a game out of the whole thing, with AJ batting the apples with her tail for Apple Bloom to catch. This one had evidently gone a bit wide and chosen, possibly by the will of Discord, to land where it had.

Removing the offending apple from my horn caused another wave of pain. Sweetie Belle was certainly more stoic when a similar incident happened to her. Perhaps there was a difference in sensitivity between the genders, or maybe I was just being a bit of a cry-baby. Once it was off, the pain quickly vanished, just as suddenly as it had come. However, my cries of mild agony had attracted the attention of the two ladies across the way.

“Ya okay, Bones?” Applejack called as the pair trotted up.

“Have you seen that last apple, Blade Star? I missed one of ‘em. Sis says she saw it go over here.” I couldn’t be mad at her. Not only did she have her typically adorable face on, that was smiling at me, but she also had a basket filled with caught apples strapped to her head, making her slightly top heavy. She was just too cute.

“Ya mean this one, AB?” I asked, producing the evil apple from behind me, now with a neat skewer hole through its centre.

“Yeah, hey, where’d that hole come from?” She asked curiously. Applejack moved closer to get a better look. She smiled and broke out into a small fit of giggles. She really did have a nice laugh.

“Well that explains all that howlin’, eh Bones?” she said between giggles. “Guess ah must’ve sent that one a bit wide. Didn’t hurt too much did it?” At least she showed some concern for my well-being.

“Just a bit, ‘Jack, I replied. “Guess ya need to work on yer aim.” This earned me a raspberry. “Besides, Ah figured ah might go into town today. Anythin’ ya need me to get while Ah’m there?” Applejack thought for a moment.

“Ya sure it’s not too much trouble?” she asked after a brief pause.

“Nah, got nothin’ better to do, unless Ah hear from the princesses or somethin’.”

“Well then, ya could go an’ fetch a few things from Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie’s promised to do us all a dozen of her cupcakes to make up fer that dang tie yesterday.” Both parties were still sore about the lack of a clear winner yesterday. While it did prevent any escalation by the loser, it also left both Applejack and Rainbow Dash feeling a little annoyed with themselves. A couple cupcakes would clear that right up.

With that, I stuck a leaf in the book I had been reading as a bookmark and headed back to the farmhouse to grab my saddlebags and a bag of Bits, in case something in town, particularly at Sugarcube Corner, caught my fancy. While I was not swimming in bits, I was no longer completely without currency. All told I had around six hundred or so, stashed away in my room. I could have had over one thousand five hundred had I accepted Princess Celestia’s offer of aid. But I am a proud being in matters of finance.

Winona once again followed me into town, but peeled off and headed back when she spotted Granny Smith in the market. I guess she was the one she saw as being the pony most likely to provide food. Dogs, for all their loyalty, will usually go with whoever has a treat in their hands.

Sugarcube Corner was perhaps one of the more bizarre buildings in Ponyville. It really did look good enough to eat on occasion, and as I approached I saw one young colt being chastised by his mother, after apparently trying to take a bite out of a large and, might I add structurally vital, candy cane. I wondered how it had been constructed. I mean, sure, it was a wonderful thing to look at, but how on earth did you build something like that, and without the whole shebang falling in on itself.

As I passed through the front door, the bell, suspended in the frame above chimed softly, reminding me of that old café I used to go to with my grandfather. It had been many years, but I still missed him. The inside was not quite as whacky as the outside, with signs that perhaps at least one sane pony had been part of the construction team. Directly in front of me was the display stands, filled with all kinds of cakes and confections. Closing the door behind me, a voice called from somewhere in the back.

“I’ll be right with you!” And with that Mrs Cake trotted out from the residential part of the building. Throwing on an apron quickly, she moved behind the counter. “Now what can I get for you, dearie?” she asked kindly.

“Just come to pick up those cupcakes for Applejack, Mrs. Cake,” I replied, my southern accent still sticking. It had been doing that on and off since my teleport spell practice at the library.

“Oh, I think Pinkie Pie’s been holding on to those for ya,” Mrs. Cake replied. “Pinkie!” She called.

“Yes Mrs. Cake?” answered a voice over my shoulder. I turned around and found myself less than an inch from Pinkie Pie, who seemed to have materialised beside me. Needless to say, I was spooked by that. Pinkie was apologetic however. “Oops, sorry, Bladey. Didn’t mean to scare you.” She continued beaming at me, luckily, Mrs. Cake intervened.

“Pinkie, he’s here to pick up Applejack’s cupcakes for her,” she offered. This moved Pinkie into action. She seized me by the foreleg and dragged me into the back of the store.

With little ceremony, Pinkie pulled me past the counter and into the main hallway of the building. I expected that she had kept them out of the way, in the kitchens perhaps to prevent them being damaged or accidentally sold. However, much to my alarm, she led me away from the kitchens and store cupboards and toward a large ominous looking basement door. Pinkie answered my question before I had a chance to ask it.

“This is where I keep all my ‘special’ cupcakes, Bladey,” she said, her typical grin taking a darker look for a moment. “Dashie helped me make them.”

And with that, I began to panic internally. I’d read various infamous fan fictions since I’d joined, but Cupcakes really stood out. The fact that Pinkie Pie was now leading me into the basement, where she apparently kept cupcakes, that Dash had ‘helped’ her make, unsettled me to say the least.

When I’d spoken to Princess Celestia about my multiverse theory, I had wondered about the possibility of other MLP based universe existing. But a Cupcakes universe? I never was the type to beg for my life, as I said, I am a proud being. But in this case, I made an exception.

After babbling out something completely incomprehensible that may or may not have been a plea for any kind of mercy, Pinkie stopped in her tracks and turned to look at me. Was she considering letting me live? Or was she just prolonging the inevitable?

“What are you so scared about, Bladey? We’re just going to get the cupcakes you came for,” she said, still maintaining her cheerful demeanour. She opened the basement door and inside there were hundreds of.

I’m not quite sure how to say this. There were boxes. Marked ‘flour’. There was no horrific torture equipment, no disturbing mortal remains. Nothing. It was just a basement. I might have had a brief mental celebration. If Pinkie was aware of what had transpired, she didn’t show it. Releasing me from her grip, she headed off to a corner and retrieved a cake box, filled with cupcakes. Of the usual variety.

“Here you go, Bladey,” she said, passing the box to me, which I balanced carefully on my back. “Come on back upstairs and you pay Mrs. Cake for them.” Seizing me by the foreleg again, she dragged me back up to the storefront to pay. Handing over the bits, I couldn’t help but smile.

I mean really. Pinkie Pie as a vicious axe wielding psychopath? As long as you weren’t actually reading it, it was quite a funny image. I felt somewhat guilty for misjudging her like that. I’d known her for just over a fortnight and here I was still making judgements based on fan fiction written by messed up twenty year olds. She was the Element of Laughter for Celestia’s sake! While they all knew a bit about the Brony fandom, I had glossed over some bits. Cupcakes was one along with the Conversion Bureau and any other grim or dark sections. I doubt any of them would forgive me if they found out.

I was about to head out the door and back to the farm when a thought stuck me. I ought to do something for Pinkie to make up for what happened, even if it was all in my head. I did feel terrible for having even considered it.

“Hey Pinkie, how busy are you today?” I asked. Pinkie bounced up and down excitedly.

“Oh, oh, we’re really busy today, Bladey. I’ve got to bake seventy two more cupcakes, eighteen carrot cakes, thirty one sponges, a sapphire cupcake for Spike and an anniversary cake for Mr and Mrs. Cake.” Most people would sound slightly depressed at the sheer workload of all that. But not Pinkie, if anything, she was looking forward to all the cakes which, by her logic, would make lots of ponies happy, so she ought to enjoy it. “Why?” she asked.

“Just thought Ah might offer to help out. Ah used to do a bit of baking with my mom, not somethin’ you forget,” I replied smiling.

Pinkie was more than happy to let me help her, and after checking it was okay with the Cakes, I threw on an apron and followed Pinkie into the kitchen. In contrast to her slightly, dare I say it, chaotic personality, Pinkie kept the kitchens extremely well organised. That was probably why she was able to fulfil all the orders the store received.

As the third batch of cupcakes went into one of the large, yet pink ovens, we paused to catch our breath. It seemed even the logic defying Pinkie Pie was not omitted from the concept of tiredness. The speed at which we were working the ovens had me sweating like it was Applebuck Season all over again. While Pinkie seemed a bit winded, she was still going strong. And still humming the Cupcakes song.

“You’re like a machine, Pinkie. I knew you were good at baking, but I didn’t know you were this good. You’d probably put a fair few chefs to shame back on Earth.” It was true; we’d churned out, between us, all the required cupcakes in just under an hour.

“I’m not that good, Bladey. I just work hard like everypony else. Now come on, help me with the kumquats.”

I stayed for a couple more hours to help finish up the larger orders. Even with all the work, she never stopped smiling. Ordinarily, this would have thrown up a red flag for me. Excessive smiling tends to be a sign that a person is just a little unhinged. However, with Pinkie, the smile was completely sincere. That was what I liked about her the most. No matter what happened, you couldn’t break her. Even on her darkest of days, she would still be smiling and doing her best to cheer others up. Quite in contrast to cynical old me.

Once the last of the sponges came out, I bade Pinkie farewell, and headed back home. I would have gone all the way back, but I quickly remembered the promise I had made to Rarity about going with her to Canterlot. As I was in town, it wouldn’t hurt to swing by the Carousel Boutique and pay her a visit. Once we’d sorted out the details, I could go and check everything was okay with AJ. Sweet Apple Acres might have been closed for the winter, but that didn’t mean I was going to disappear off to the city without checking first.

And with that, I headed toward Rarity’s home and business. AJ could wait another half hour for the cupcakes.

Chapter 29 - On Fashion and Romance

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The name Carousel Boutique was no accident. Had you slapped on a couple poniequins on the outside and somehow got the building to rotate on its foundations, it would have easily passed for a Victorian carousel. Like many businesses in town, the shop doubled as Rarity’s home as well as her place of business. I always found it odd that Rarity was able to do so well from a relatively rural location. I hadn’t worn any sort of clothing since the trip to Canterlot. I think that might be the one thing that unsettled my father the most. Maybe when I got back I could sit down and have a proper talk with my parents. It was nice to talk to them on Sunday, but I did still feel as if I was neglecting them.

Once again, I was confronted with a door and the ultimate question; do I knock or just enter? I had learnt that Twilight had no problem with people just walking into the library, but Rarity was different, and much more liable to take offense if I picked the wrong one. And so with that, I knocked.

After a moment the door was opened to me and I was met, much to my surprise, by Spike. I had expected him to be at the library today, though I did know he occasionally went to Rarity’s to help her with her work. And in an attempt to woo her. Mainly the latter.

“Hey, Spike. Is Rarity in?” I asked. Subconsciously, I had been struggling not to start calling him Spyro. The infant dragon nodded.

“Yeah, she’s just putting the finishing touches on a couple of her new designs for Canterlot.” He opened the door a little wider to grant me access.

Following Spike into the kitchen, I seated myself at the table, while he went to fetch Rarity. I could hear the tone of their conversation (not that I was eavesdropping) and Rarity seemed more than thrilled that I had arrived.

She walked in with her spectacles still perched on her snout. These were quickly levitated off and placed in their case, revealing a pair of eyes that betrayed a hint of tiredness.

“Oh I’m so glad you could come, darling,” she said as she settled herself. “I’ve just put the finishing touches on my designs. I am ready for Canterlot!”

“Spike told me you had just finished up,” I replied, doing my best to repress my previous accent. “Mind if I have a quick peek? I may not be a fashion guru, but I know a good design when I see it.” For all my intellectual ability, I did not have a clue what I was doing when it came to fashion. However, it seemed that more often than not, following what generally appealed led to a choice that was aesthetically pleasing. But if you asked me to justify my choice, then I was in trouble.

“Oh of course, I’m always looking for a little bit of input, Blade Star. Come on through to my work room. I have the entire collection up there. Actually I was just about to take them off the dress forms. I could use a little…” She didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence.

“I’ll help, Rarity!” called Spike as he sprinted into the room. I am certain that I saw Rarity blush for a moment.

Rarity led me up the stairs to her work room. As it appeared on the show, it was organised chaos. Fabric, drawings and tools were scattered everywhere. But in the centre of the room, sitting on six dress forms, Rarity’s new designs lay pristine and clean, in a sharp contrast to the rest of the room. It was quite strange really, Rarity’s home and business was as neat and tidy as my own rooms back on Sweet Apple Acres, yet the place where she created her brilliant designs looked an absolute tip. This was even stranger when you took her fastidious need for cleanliness into account.

“Here we are, darling. I call it ‘Winter Wonderland’.” The six garments before me were absolutely beautiful. Going with the white snow that would soon cover Equestria for her colour base, Rarity had created a wonderful line. The dresses were long and formal looking in appearance. But, if a stallion may speak his mind, still gave a hint of mystery to the mare that wore it. Rarity had played to her strengths well. The designs had numerous accessories such as glistening tiaras, gem encrusted bands and light blue ribbons adorning the fringes of the dresses. All in all, what I had come to expect from her.

“Rarity, these are beautiful. I know that doesn’t mean much coming from a member of the proletariat like me, but they really are beautiful. Were these for humans, I would have mistaken at least this one for the dress Lizzie wore to her prom.”

“Why thank you, darling,” Rarity replied. “I tried to have each dress reflect the different personalities of winter.” I did my best to hide the confusion I was experiencing, luckily, she explained. “This one for example, is slightly cold looking and icy, intended for business. But this one is a much softer colour giving off a more approachable vibe.”

“Yes, I can see that.” It made much more sense now. “This dress does give off a sort of ‘Ice Queen’ feel doesn’t it?” I briefly explained myself when I realised Rarity probably had never read ‘The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe’. “Besides, Ah’ve seen you create a fashion line from bits of a Manehattan hotel room, I’m sure you will have no trouble with access to proper materials.”

“Oh hush, you!” Rarity replied with mock fury. “And anyway, you’re the one coming from a society where clothing is mandatory. I’m just surprised you’re not all fashion experts.” I smiled.

“It’s not as good as it sounds. Most people don’t know anything about fashion, nor do they care about its usefulness.” As beautiful as Rarity’s designs were, they all still had a pocket or two and didn’t look that difficult to move in. “That and not all our clothes are made by people who ought to be making them. There are some countries out there that have children working on production lines to keep costs low.” I recalled how I had felt somewhat guilty when I saw a couple of my shirts were labelled ‘Made in Honduras’. “It’s better to have clothing as something for the elite and special occasions. It makes you appreciate the ensembles more genuinely.”

Rarity seemed a little taken aback by this sudden spout of human thought.

“Yes, I suppose so. Even the finest wine or the most beautiful bouquet does become bland if you partake of them every single day,” she answered. Glancing at the ornate clock on the wall, she started. “Oh no, I was supposed to go to Sugarcube Corner half an hour ago. I need to pick up that thank you gift for Spike. Oh, but I still have to pack all these clothes away in preparation for the trip to Canterlot.” Ever the gentlecolt, I stepped in.

“Relax Rarity. I’ll take him up there; give you some peace and quiet eh?” I said. “So when are we heading off then?”

“We’ll need to catch the overnight train to Canterlot on Wednesday evening, and get there on Thursday. Stay two days there, and then catch a regular train back for Saturday evening.”

“Right then, I’ll just double check with ‘Jack to make sure everything’s okay and then I’ll drop by. Fair enough.” Rarity nodded and as I departed the room, she seemed to have a knowing smile on her features.

I descended the stairs back to the shop floor to find Spike. He’d perched himself on one of the display stands.

“Right oh, Spike. Rarity asked me to take you to Sugarcube Corner; you’re to get a reward for your troubles,” I said, smiling. The dragon quickly got up and followed me out the front door. We both called upstairs to Rarity as we left.

The pair of us walked in silence for a while. I’m all one for quiet but it was just odd that it was Spike who seemed to have lost his tongue. Other than my dad, Time Turner and Big Mac and Shining Armour, Spike was the only male I knew. I think sometimes we all felt a bit outnumbered. As a result, I tried engaging him on that front.

“Ah was surprised to see you at Rarity’s, Spike. Ah’d have figured you’d be at Twilight’s. Weren’t she doin’ another re-sortin’ or somethin’ today?” I allowed my accent to relapse to what had all but become the norm for me. Spike looked up.

“Dude, I know you know. Twilight told me about that show. You don’t have to beat around the bush.” He sighed. “I know I haven’t got a chance with her.”

I was surprised that he had opened up to me so suddenly. His crush on Rarity was his most closely guarded, if not most secretive, of secrets. True, I did know, but I was still startled. However, regardless, I had to counter his last comment. He’d always seemed so confident about winning her before.

“Ah wouldn’t say that, Spike. In fact Ah reckon, with time, she might grow to see you in that way too. Ah mean, okay, she’s not exactly dating you, but she does like you. You should have been there all those times when she was talking about you. Ah saw her blush when you offered to help. Takes a fair bit of work to make a lady like her blush. And what about you, as Ah recall, you saved an entire empire on one occasion. Don’t put yourself down. You never know,” I finished emphatically.

The young drake looked at his feet, thinking.

“Well, she did kiss me that one time. Still probably nothing compared to you, right?” Now here fillies and gentlecolts, is an embarrassing moment. The moment when you realise the total number of times you have kissed a girl, is equal to that of a baby dragon.

“Don’t be so sure, Spike.” And with that, we arrived at Sugarcube Corner. After getting Spike the sapphire cupcake Pinkie had baked for him, which I paid for as a way of paying back Rarity for all her work, we both headed out of town. It was getting quite dark and the moon had already risen. I was taking him back to the library, I’d realised a small errand had had me out of the house for most of the day. But I thought that, as he had pretty much told me everything, it was only proper of me to do the same.

“You know Spike, you shouldn’t be so eager to grow up. It isn’t as fun as it looks. Sure you like Rarity. Hay, she may even be your true love. But not just yet, give it a little time.” Spike nodded in understanding. I still haven’t seen anyone fall so head over heels for a girl. I just hoped that the romanticised drivel I was spouting would come true. I’d hate to see Spike crushed like that, for that would be the outcome if Rarity didn’t return his feelings. I didn’t know much about love, but I did know that it could be dangerous. I did my best to be honest with him.

“Spike, Ah can’t tell you what to do with your life. Nopony can; not me, Twilight, Rarity, not even the princesses themselves. At the end of the day, it’s your call. All Ah’m saying is give it time. Now come on, let’s get you back home.” And with that, we resumed our trek to the library.

Twilight thanked me for bringing Spike back. He’d apparently gone off to Rarity’s at around two o’clock. Understandably, by six, she was getting a little concerned. I explained that we’d been chatting about stuff.

“What do you mean ‘stuff’?” she asked.

“Nothin’, Twi. Just some guy stuff. Ain’t no need for you to go sticking your snout in it,” I replied jokingly. Twilight smiled at me, perhaps clocking on to the possible subjects discussed between members of the opposite gender.

I quickly headed back to Sweet Apple Acres. It was now well and truly dark, though as usual, the moon cast enough light to see where I was going. The Apple Family was just sitting down to dinner when I got in.

“Now where have you been?” Applejack asked as I closed the kitchen door behind me.

“In town, like Ah said, ‘Jack. Ah got the cupcakes right here.” I quickly retrieved the box from where I had left it in the hall. “Ah just got held up a bit with Rarity. Speakin’ of, can y’all do without me next Wednesday, should be back for the weekend?”

“Ah suppose so,” Applejack replied, a little perturbed. “Winterisin’ don’t start ‘till after Nightmare Night; so as long as you’re back before then, I don’t see why not. What do you think, Granny?” She turned to the Apple matriarch.

“Ah see no problem with it,” she replied. “Nothin’ doin’ ‘till those pegasus ponies drop the snow on our heads.”

So, that was that. In five days’ time, I would be off to Canterlot. It would certainly be a better opportunity to visit the city properly, as well as see Luna again. I might even drop in on Dad and Princess Celestia during Day Court. I could put up with the snobs and, while I was not a follower of the world of fashion, it never hurt to learn something new. Even if I did have to play hoof candy for a while.

Chapter 30 - The Old Guard

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The weekend would have proved completely uneventful, if not for the thunderstorm. For two long days, we all had to shelter in the farmhouse as the storm kept growing in power and ferocity. Lightning split the sky, casting the whole of the land in brief eerie glows, and torrential rain lashed down so hard its impact on the roof could be heard in the sitting room downstairs.

Unlike weather on Earth though, this storm was in actuality, tightly controlled by the weather pegasi, who had warned pretty much everypony well in advance of the storm and gave time for us all to get everything in. The storm itself had a purpose. According to Rainbow, who dropped by personally to warn us of the impending maelstrom, this storm was designed to give the ground one last soak before the snow came, as well as to encourage the fallen leaves to begin degrading. Crops had all been harvested, so there was no risk on that front, and Fluttershy and Lizzie had relayed the warning to all the animal population. More importantly for Apple Bloom and the other foals, this would ensure a dry Nightmare Night.

For the moment, everyone and everything was keeping its head down and staying in shelter. The storm was the largest I’ve ever seen, the clouds stretched all the way from the Everfree Forest, across Ponyville, right on out toward Canterlot and even a little ways beyond. Humans had always appreciated the beauty of nature, even at its most violent. But for the ponies, it was both beautiful and safe, as it was all controlled.

When it finally came to an end late on Sunday night, most of the plains areas were flooded, rivers were running at their fullest, and any of the weaker trees had been brought down by the high winds. Due to the warning and long standing safety procedures practiced by the Weather Patrol under Dash, no one had been hurt. The trees had all been stripped of their loose branches and those earmarked to fall had been positioned to land away from homes. The flood water could be evaporated fairly quickly, as unlike a storm on Earth, this one finished very quickly. After the rain stopped, it took about thirty minutes for the entire thing to be dissipated by Dash and her colleagues.

Monday morning was bright and clear again, though the temperature had dropped noticeably. There would be no more truly warm days; pretty soon I would need to think about purchasing some winter wear; coat or no coat it could still get very cold.

Monday also was the day that my lessons with Twilight were to start up again. We’d now have another few days before I went with Rarity to Canterlot, and then we would pretty much continue on until Hearth’s Warming. According to the curriculum Twilight had produced, today and tomorrow were marked up as ‘Defensive Magic’. These were slightly higher level spells than those I had practiced previously, with the notable exception of the teleportation spell. While I had now pretty much got it down, I still didn’t really trust myself to use it frequently like Twilight did. That and it took a great deal of exertion to accomplish.

What constituted defensive magic, I was not sure. I already had the ability to let off raw magical energy, but I guess this consisted of more refined abilities and non-lethal solutions. If raw magic was a firearm, then this would probably be comparable to a Taser, to be used if I encountered something hostile like a manticore or a timberwolf. In any case, I was looking forward to it. Self-defence was one of the many things I’d wished I had the opportunity to do when I was younger.

As I approached the library, I was met with a bit of a surprise. Sitting outside, with its two fliers still attached, was a chariot. While it was not Celestia’s, it was nevertheless from the palace. That could be seen from its ornate design, and the fact that two Solar Guards were pulling it. I wondered who could be calling on Twilight from such a distance at such an early hour.

“Mornin’ Gentlecolts,” I said as I passed the two guards. As ever with them, I was met with a stoic face and complete silence. Luckily for them, I was a little more mature than Rainbow and did not pester them.

Just to be safe, considering Twilight had a guest or guests of some importance, I knocked on the door.

“Coming!” Twilight called. A moment later, she opened the door. “Oh hey Blade Star. I thought I told you that you didn’t have to knock.”

“Ah saw you had a guest, so Ah thought Ah’d just be polite,” I replied. Twilight looked confused for a moment before spotting the two Royal Guards, still standing at attention.

“Oh no, Blade Star, that guest is here for you. They’re helping me with your training today.” She paused and turned around. “Strong Shield!”

A dark brown stallion with a dark blue mane not dissimilar to my own stepped out. He was clearly a guard but was not wearing his helmet at the moment. Had he worn his entire uniform, his coat would have been turned charcoal grey as was the case with all unicorns in the Royal Guard. The most striking thing about him though, was his face. Any foal could tell he was a veteran. His face was angular and the look in his eyes was hard and unforgiving. Well, I suppose I mean eye, for he wore an eye patch over his right eye, it reminded me somewhat of von Stauffenburg or Moshe Dayan.

“This is Captain Strong Shield, Blade Star. He’s one of the instructors at the Guard Academy now, but he fought the Changelings during the Royal Wedding, and Shining said there is no one better qualified. Plus we’re friends. He’ll teach you while I do some work with the Crusaders this morning.” She smiled sheepishly.

I promptly drew myself to attention and saluted him.

“Good morning, sir,” I said. Strong Shield glared.

“How do you know what kind of Celestia damned day it is?” he asked sternly. This was going to be tough.

After a curt ‘follow me’ from Strong Shield, we left Twilight and headed out of Ponyville toward the Everfree Forest. As when I had practiced with Twilight, Strong Shield evidently didn’t want to run the risk of getting anypony accidentally hurt. When we arrived at our destination, there were around a dozen or so targets set up. Each one was a pole about two feet high, with a bulb of sorts at the top.

“What’s all this, sir?” I asked. Strong Shield snorted.

“Did I give you permission to speak? Captain Pretty Colt” (which I presumed meant Shining) “says you’re a civilian. But when we’re training you’re a recruit, which means I’m a superior officer. You call me captain and speak when you’re spoken to. Understand?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Good, then we’ll get to work, rookie.” He hesitated on that last word. “These are magical targets; they can create an image of any possible target. We’ll start with some basic marksmanship. Even as one of those ‘human’ things you still should be able to aim.”

He flared his horn an odd sickly green colour. The targets responded in kind and before my eyes, six of them turned into wooden targets with roundels and a bull in the middle.

“Now, we’ll start with a basic stun spell. Every guard should be able to do this spell in his sleep. A solid hit will put an opponent out cold for about three hours. Keep the magic flow in your horn low, but have a fair bit of your reserves ready. If you need this spell, you’ll probably be outnumbered.”

I flared my horn bringing a marginal amount of magic into my horn as instructed. This was the hardest part; it was very easy to place too much energy into the spell, turning it from a simple stun to a kill shot.

“Right, now then, one shot at a time; focus on your accuracy, not your speed.” I aimed my horn towards the first of the three targets. Steadying myself, I let loose the first shot. It came out as a dark blue bolt, rather than a concentrated beam. Unsurprisingly, this first shot went wide. After two more attempts, I hit the first target. When I had completed the sequence, the first target was surrounded by scorch marks, with one hit on the top edge, the second had one hit nearer the centre, but still high and the third had a hit not too far off the bull.

I turned to Strong Shield, expecting him to be at least somewhat pleased with my performance. The look on his face though, was one of disbelief.

“Sweet Celestia,” he muttered. His voice then rose in volume. “What the buck was that?!” he exclaimed. “Four shots to hit your first, with a poor impact, two more before you improved on your second. Hay, the only one you probably took down was the third! These things don’t even move!” He was some kind of ticked.

“Alright, let’s try it again,” he said at length. “I’ll watch you this time. One target, fire five shots. Understand?”

“Yes, Captain,” I said as I prepared for another round.

Again, my initial shots went wide, but third time was the charm and I scored a hit on the bull, with the other two shots hitting elsewhere on the target. I turned to Strong Shield again.

“You’re tensing up,” he said. “Relax your back and neck, otherwise you’ll jump and throw off your aim. Another two shots I think, and this time relax.”

I let off two shots, this time they went just where I wanted landing pretty close to dead centre. Strong Shield remained stone faced.

“Good, now at least you can hit the broadside of a barn.” I could understand his attitude; I was a civvie, an outsider to a guard. He on the other hand was a battle hardened officer who had fought Equestria’s most insidious enemy. And here he was, having to train me.

“Captain, you don’t have to treat me like one of your guard recruits. I don’t like it or really care for it, you deserve your rank, I don’t.” This however earned me another glare.

“Did I give you permission to speak, rookie? Furthermore, in the Royal Guard, we may not like our orders, but we damn well follow them without question. Or do I have to teach you that too?”

“No, Captain,” I backpedalled.

“Good. Now that your aim is just about passable, we can move on.” His horn flared again and the battered targets vanished, leaving nothing but the small two foot high columns. “Right then, now let’s see how sharp you are with a moving target. Or do you expect your opponents to assemble in front of you and stand perfectly still for your convenience?”

I considered making some wisecrack about how Royal Guards did tend to do just that, at least based on what I had seen. But Strong Shield, in spite of being about my size, in other words average, could probably give Big Macintosh a run for his money, perhaps even beat him.

“No, Captain.”

“Alright, as soon as the targets light up, take ‘em down. Five targets one at a time.” Without waiting for my answer, he flared his horn and the first target appeared.

Like before, it was a large wooden target, only this one moved with about the same speed as a pony at a trot. With my improved aim, my experience of virtual war kicked in and I remembered to lead the target before firing. Strong Shield noticed this and evidently decided I was doing too well. When the third target popped up, it was moving a hell of a lot faster, more like a gallop, and it was moving forwards and backwards too affecting the range. I was grateful magic didn’t have Kentucky windage to take into account.

By the time I’d hit the last one, I was rattled mentally. It was like playing a madcap version Whack-a-mole. This time Strong Shield’s expression showed perhaps the smallest amount of pride.

“Not bad for a rookie.”

“Thank you, Captain.” Strong Shield smiled a somewhat sadistic smile.

“Don’t thank me yet.” He paused. “Let’s see how you do when the targets shoot back.”

And with that, he flared his horn and vanished. It wasn’t a teleport, for there was no signature flash and pop sound. He just seemed to phase out of existence. I looked back toward the impromptu range, the targets too had vanished. There was nothing. Nothing moved. There were no targets that I could see.

“Captain?” I called. No response. “Captain Strong Shield!” Again nothing.

I listened and continued to look around. That’s when I noticed it. There was no bird song. The whole place was completely and deadly silent. I knew this was just training, but it nevertheless unsettled me. As a bit of a control freak like Twilight, I do not like it when I am not certain of what is happening.

It was then that I first heard it. It first came as a sort of humming sound, a bit like when you stand under one of those huge electricity pylons. It quickly became louder than this though. I couldn’t work out from which direction it was coming from though. The strange noise only served to put me more on edge, adrenaline began to kick in, preparing me for fight or flight, I had to give Strong Shield credit, this was no longer feeling like a simple training exercise.

And that was when it happened. There was a loud bang, like the report of a gun. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a green flash. Spinning around to face it, there was now a small crater in the ground next to me. Half buried, but rapidly recovering from the impact, was a black pony like creature. On its back were twisted insect wings. Its limbs were filled with holes, and it had soulless blue eyes without pupils. A Changeling.

It was quickly joined by three others that landed in front and to the side of me. They hissed foully at me, their fangs glinting in the light. Two of them quickly began to hover, starting up that droning buzzing again. I took a fighting stance and made a point to relax my back as Strong Shield had taught me.

“Hello beastie.” I said to the group. And with that, they came at me.

Chapter 31 - The Continuation of Politics by Other Means

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Luckily for me, they didn’t rush me then and there. Instead, one of the two that were hovering tried to buzz me and knock me down. I rolled quickly out of the way and the creature passed harmlessly above me. I turned round and let off a quick shot at the retreating bug. The shot caught it square in the back. It gave a little cry before plummeting back down to the ground.

The other three Changelings hissed angrily at the sight of their comrade being injured. At first, I was sure that they would now rush me, but again, they stood their ground. If they were real, I would have thought that they were sizing me up as an opponent, for that was what it felt like even with these facsimiles. The one in the centre, which evidently lead the other two, looked to its comrades. It made a brief hissing noise and before my eyes, the trio were enveloped in green flames.

They were trying a psychological move. When the flames receded, before me were Applejack, Twilight and Rainbow Dash. Had I not just seen them change, I would have thought them to be the genuine article. As much as I hated and loathed these creatures, I had to give them credit, they were pretty convincing.

‘Rainbow’ charged down at me in a move similar to its companion. Again I rolled out of the way. But this time I had no opportunity to take a pot shot. After it passed me, the creature turned on the spot and performed the same manoeuvre it used to startle me when it arrived. The creature blasted itself forward landing about a foot from me. The impact knocked me off my hooves.

The Changeling was the first to recover and quickly pounced on me as I tried to get up. Any foal knows the ground is the worst place to be in a fight. It got right up in my face and dropped its disguise. It hissed in my face, which frightened me more than I cared to admit afterwards. These things did look like they would bite into your neck if they could. Desperately, I kicked out with my hind legs. I managed to strike its rear with enough force that it pulled back hovering a couple of feet from me. It was now more than close enough to get a shot off at it. I let off two quick shots. Both hit, one on the body and one in the head. Again, the hovering beast dropped to the ground. Two down, two to go.

I didn’t realise it then, but as is often the case in realistic simulations, I was starting to get into it. I think the moment that second target, for that was all they were really, got up close and personal, I began to believe what my senses were telling me, I was fighting Changelings.

The pair dropped their disguises and came straight at me. No chance of dodging this time, and no real chance to shoot. I would just have to take it. They rammed into me and again got me on the ground. This time though, when one of them moved in to presumably restrain me, I punched it across the face with a right hook. I quickly got to my hooves.

“Dirty little beast!” I cried, the two Changelings hissed in response.

I let off another two shots, which caused the Changelings to split to avoid the spells. I went after the one on the left, the one that had knocked me down. For the moment, I’d turned the tables and put them on the defensive. The other Changeling took flight and moved to a higher altitude, looking for an opening. The one I had pursued was now crouched low, it couldn’t fly, for I would undoubtedly hit it. It couldn’t run either. I’d made a crucial mistake; I’d backed my opponent into a corner. Consequently, it went on an all-out attack.

It charged straight at me bowling both of us over in the soft grass. I figured I would be in for a desperate hoof to hoof brawl when I heard a voice.

“Blade Star! Shieldy! Are you guys out here?” It was Twilight, come to check up on us. I could certainly use her help right now. I looked back to the Changeling.

Surprisingly, the creature let up the pressure it had been exerting on me and backed off a little. It couldn’t be giving up. Foul animals like Changelings don’t give up; you have to take them down. I’d swear that it flashed me a smile as green flames crept up its body. I charged my horn again; I could easily get a shot in. But then I saw who it had taken the form of.

Me. Standing before me was a mirror image of myself. Like me its horn was flared with a dark blue aura and it was ready to shoot. Then, in the manner of Changelings, it pulled a cheap shot.

“Twilight help!” It called in my voice. “Ah’ve got a Changeling!” Twilight instantly teleported over to the pair of us. I could tell by the look on her face she couldn’t tell us apart.

“Quick Twi. Stun it!” I said.

“No Twilight, stun him, he’s the Changeling,” my doppelganger replied. Twilight looked back and forth between us, still unsure.

“Not me you unicorn with wings! Him!” I barked. That seemed to settle it. Twilight let off her own spells that send the Changeling flying, knocking down its disguise in the process. It was laid out on the grass several feet away, more than just out cold. I breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Twilight.

“Thanks Twilight,” I said. “I didn’t mean anythin’ by that, just figured that it’d help you pick me out.”

“Never mind that, Blade Star!” Twilight replied frantically. “Where in Equestria did it come from, and these two as well?”

“It’s okay, Twilight. They’re not real, magical targets. Strong Shield set ‘em up,” I answered. The previously frightened alicorn relaxed.

That’s when I realised, there were only three Changelings sprawled out on the grass. There were four before. I turned back to Twilight.

“Hang on, there were four of them. Where’s the last one. Twilight can you see anything?” I asked. She looked around.

“Strong Shield probably turned it off after we beat that last one. C’mon, let’s go find him. He’s probably hiding somewhere watching us.” She smiled, but it didn’t seem genuine. Something just seemed off. She continued smiling, and then I saw it. A flash of green in her eyes. This wasn’t Twilight.

“You’re probably right Twi. Lead the way.” We both began to head toward town.

As soon as I was sure it wasn’t watching me, I lashed out. I fired one burst, aiming for the head. Unfortunately for me, it ducked at the last second; quickly it dropped its disguise and took a fighting stance. Again, it hissed at me.

“What, d’you think ah’m stupid?” I asked it. Again, for what seemed like the hundredth time, it charged.

It tried going through various disguises to confuse me. It went through each of the elements, Spike, Big Mac, Shining, Time Turner and even Princess Luna. That last one almost caused me to hesitate. Unlike the other Changelings, this one was tougher and more experienced. We’d been trying to find an edge for a couple of minutes now, with little success and it was starting to fray my nerves.

“Why won’t you do all of Equestria a favour and just die!” I shouted between breaths. Again, I had begun to lose myself in the experience, combined with my existing feelings. That was when the Changeling went and pulled a truly low move.

Green flames crept up its form and I did my best to disregard whatever it was in the process of changing into. But this time I was taken aback.

Standing in front of me, was Lizzie. Or at least a good rendition of her, she smiled kindly at me. In spite of my foreknowledge, I hesitated. The Changeling shifted back and leapt at me. It knocked me on my back and pinned me. I’d had it. I was too exhausted to throw it off as I had before and I couldn’t hit it with magic.

Luckily though, help was at hand and genuine help this time. The Changeling shimmered and vanished as did the three forms of the unconscious ones. In their place were the small two foot high targets. And standing but a few feet away, was Strong Shield.

Initially, I was tempted to blast the smug looking unicorn for what he had just inflicted on me. Had he not arrived and had that Changeling not been an illusion, I’d probably be bug food right about now. I’d done okay, but I was no fighter and never had been. The only fight I’d ever got in was back in high school where I socked some evil demon child on the mouth after he took a swing at me. Of course, said child had ADHD so was let off. I on the other hand had the book thrown at me.

Strong Shield was certainly gifted in magic that was for sure. As I said his four ‘targets’ were cunning fighters and were extremely believable. Hay, a couple times I had actually felt fear for my life. A realistic simulation like that and you easily lose yourself in it. I heard that it happened to airline pilots on simulators. In the event of a crash some would scream or throw their hands in front of their face.

The Captain helped me to my hooves, I’d stayed on my back after the target vanished, still somewhat winded.

“Not bad, Rookie,” he said. “Sure that last one would’ve probably had you, but you’d have taken a bunch of those sons of diamond dogs with you.” Was he actually impressed with me?

“Thank you, Captain,” I replied. “Ah didn’t do too badly with the first of ‘em, but when they got in close ah couldn’t get a shot off.” This earned me a smack on the head.

“That’s why you’ve gotta back off once in a while, Rookie. The way you were goin’ at them; there was a whole lot of anger.” That was true as anything. “But I ain’t here to teach you fighting skills. I’m here to teach ‘defensive magic’ as Miss Sparkle puts it.”

“So what next then, Captain,” I asked, eager to move on. Strong Shield smiled.

“Next, you go back home and get yourself cleaned up. You look like you’ve been through Tartarus.” He laughed heartily as I took a look at myself.

I was a mess alright. Were I in any kind of uniform I would have been a disgrace to it. My coat was matted with mud and grass stains, I was soaked in sweat from the fight, and once again my horn was emitting a faint glow from over use.

“Yes Captain. Ah might just do that.” Again Strong Shield smiled. He’d really loosened up since that last practice. For whatever reason, he now seemed less short with me.

“I’ll meet you at Miss Sparkle’s library tomorrow at 0800. Don’t be late.” That last bit carried a hint of a threat. “Try some target practice whenever you can. And don’t let yourself go rusty. Dismissed.” He really was treating me to the whole army gig.

With that Strong Shield walked off. I presumed that he’d head back to Canterlot. I hadn’t come across him before. He was equal rank with Shining too, certainly a high rank to be just teaching the new recruits. Though as he had taken up that post after the wedding, maybe at last the Royal Guard would start to become a usable fighting force. Not something to get their flanks handed to them by a bunch of bugs. I headed back to Twilight’s for a quick chat, and then I would head home, maybe stopping to see my folks on the way.

Strong Shield was long gone by the time I arrived in the library. I figured Twilight would want to wrap up everything I’d done today and maybe add some of her own insights. I was slightly confused as to why she had had a serving officer come all the way here when she had a good understanding of defensive spells herself, as seen during the Incursion. I walked in this time and found Twilight putting a few recently returned books back in their proper place.

“Hey Twilight,” I said in greeting. “Just thought ah’d stop by in case you wanted to add anything.” Twilight looked a little confused by that.

“Well, I don’t think so. Strong Shield taught you the basic stun spell and gave you some practice right?” I nodded.

“Yes of course, ah just figured that you had knowledge of such spells. Why’d you need the Captain to come all the way out to Ponyville?” Twilight splayed her ears, not a good sign.

“Blade Star, remember when Princess Celestia introduced you all to the town?” I nodded. How could I forget Lyra? “Well, not everypony in Equestria is entirely comfortable with your species. It’s not you or your family; he just has a distrust of outsiders. It’s understandable in a way. But he sort of wanted you and your family gone as soon as possible.” I was surprised to say the least. “The Princesses made him see reason, but he’s concerned about more of your kind following you.”

“Twilight, do you mean Strong Shield?” I asked with a tinge of confusion in my voice.

“Strong Shield has expressed concern to Princess Celestia. He’s worried about a ‘security risk’. I asked him to come down here to get to know you. It seems to have worked. He said that you weren’t half bad for a human.” She chuckled, but then looked sorrowful. “It’s just I’ve known Strong Shield since I was little, and I hated to see him being so, closed minded.”

I could understand that. What I couldn’t quite wrap my head around was that he had got it into his head that we were somehow the vanguard of an invading army. I suppose Equestria must have its own version of the Daily Mail too. It explained Strong Shield’s initial dislike toward me. But Hay, he’d come around quickly enough, and it was understandable in a way. So far Equestria’s experience of non-ponies hasn’t been all that great

“Well, as long as he isn’t going to drive me or my family out of town, I think we can put up with him,” I said, hoping to lighten the mood. Twilight smiled, evidently glad to have gotten her ulterior motive off her chest.

I left the library and headed back toward home. I thought about setting up a little practice range for myself near the farmhouse. There was a fence line nearby that I could lay targets on. Might be a nice little pass time too. Tomorrow I would continue with Strong Shield’s tuition. Afterward, Twilight wanted to move on to a few more theoretical areas of magic study. Ideally, she wanted me to able to help out with finding a way home for my family. That question still lingered at the back of my mind if, or possibly, when we were able to find a way back, would I go?

Chapter 32 - S.H.I.E.L.D

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The next morning, after having one of Granny Smith’s trademarked Apple Family Breakfasts, I prepared to head out to Twilight’s again. I was to meet up with Strong Shield at eight o’clock sharp for further training in defensive magic. The previous night I’d liberated a few tin cans from the rubbish and set them up on the fence line. Big Mac had also kindly helped me set up a few hinged metal targets that would swing when hit. I now had a good firing range to practice on; the Crusaders had also asked to be allowed to use it. The previous day, they had gone and built themselves some slingshots and a few bows and arrows. Their latest project was, in their own words, ‘Cutie Mark Crusader Marksponies’.

At half past seven, I was about to head out when Applejack stopped me.

“Hey, Blade Star. Would ya mind takin’ AB to school today? Me and Big Macintosh want to get some work done on a few of the wagons.” I was glad she said she was getting around to that. A couple times over the last week I’d voiced concerns about a couple of the carts used to haul the apples around. They’d been in use since before Applejack was born, and they were starting to look just a little bit ropey. Nothing major, but enough to warrant some concern.

“Sure, ‘Jack. Ah’ve got time. You okay to pick her up, or shall ah do that too?” I replied.

“Just take ‘er down to the schoolhouse, ah’ll pick 'er up at quittin’ time.” I nodded and turned to the youngest member of the Apple family.

“Alright, AB you heard yer sister. Time’s a’wastin’,” I called. The little filly promptly stuffed all she deemed necessary into her saddlebags and trotted to my side.

“Okay, Blade Star. Ah’m ready,” she said. And with that, we both headed out for Ponyville.

I quickly engaged Apple Bloom in conversation regarding her and the other Crusaders’ idea of being marksponies. Given their ability to turn even the most innocuous of occupations into a blazing whirlwind of destruction, the idea of them using, even rudimentary projectile weapons, gave me pause.

“So where’d this whole idea come from any way, AB?” I asked as we walked. There was usually a curious if not humorous tale behind each of their escapades’ origins.

“Well,” the filly began. “We were havin’ a history lesson in school the other day, an’ Miss Cheerilee was talkin’ about some of the wars that happened before the first Hearth’s Warmin’. An’ then as she was talkin’, Mrs. Owen went and said it sounded a lot like…erm.” She paused for a moment to think. “Aginer, Agingeror, err, Agincorrrer?”

“Agincourt?” I offered.

“Yeah, that’s the one! Anyway, she told us how all those archers were able to attack from a long ways off and that it took a lot of skill to do.”

“So you three figured you’d have a go yourself?” I said, smiling. “Well, as long as you’re careful. Don’t use real arrows or nothin’, AB. Ah wouldn’t want to see y’all get yourself or anypony else hurt.” The filly gave me a deadpan look, which made me chuckle in response.

We were now coming up to the schoolhouse. It reminded me of my days in primary school, before I moved. Good times. I spotted my mom leaning against the doorframe on the front, keeping a watchful eye on the foals at play.

“Mornin’ Mom!” I called.

Apple Bloom promptly scampered off to meet up with her fellow Crusaders. I prayed to Celestia that she’d taken my advice to heart. They always meant well, and you could never be truly mad at them for long, but a great many of their projects had ended in large scale property damage.

“Hello, son,” my mother replied, walking up to me. “How are things up at Sweet Apple Acres then?”

“Nothin’ doin’ until the snow comes now,” I answered. “Ah’m just on my way to Twilight’s. Got another magic lesson today.” My mother smiled.

“As long as I live, I will probably never get used to your magic,” she said jokingly. “Still, must be better than hooves right?”

“Hey!” called an earth pony foal. Evidently having picked up on the minor slur. We both looked apologetic.

“Oh my, would you look at the time!” I said hurriedly, glancing at my non-existent watch. “I better get to the library or Twi’ll have my head. Ah’ll stop by tonight if I can, Mom. Okay?”

I promptly took off at a gallop, leaving my mom to deal with the slightly irritated foals of earth pony and pegasi decent.

When I arrived at the library, the chariot was once again parked up. Two pegasi guards were again attached to it. It may have been the same pair for all I knew; I never could work out how they could tell each other apart. I guessed therefore, that Strong Shield would be inside with Twilight, ready for the second and final lesson he had to teach me. I pushed the front door open and walked inside.

“Twilight! It’s me, Blade Star,” I called. The lavender alicorn appeared from behind a stack of books and promptly shushed my outburst.

“Quiet Blade Star. You’ll wake him.” I looked across and saw Strong Shield asleep on one of the sofas that sat against the library wall. I looked back at Twilight, my expression forming a silent question.

“He got here about two hours ago. Said he couldn’t sleep anyway, so he’d decided to come here a bit earlier. Then he simply lay down and fell asleep.” Again we both looked at the slumbering unicorn. He was evidently dog tired for he had not stirred one bit since I had arrived. Twilight motioned for me to follow her and took me to her kitchen. Spike was already in there with breakfast cooking, with that trademark frilly apron of his.

“Hey Blade Star,” he said in greeting. “Fancy some breakfast?”

“No thank you, Spike,” I replied. “Ah’ve had an Apple family Breakfast. Should keep me goin’ for a long while. Wouldn’t mind a cup of tea though.”

The one stereotype I possess of my people is my strong liking for, and appreciation of tea. I never went in for any of the herbal hippy dippy hogwash Twilight seemed to like. But I was partial to a good Ceylon blend every now and again, or perhaps an Earl Grey and very rarely some Berber Whiskey. Of course, none of those existed in Equestria. However, as with most things there was a ‘ponified’ version to be found somewhere usually. After some searching in the back cupboards, Spike found a box of Earl Hay. I had to choke down a laugh on that one.

Spike, unlike most ponies, also seemed to appreciate a good tea, having the sense to let it brew for a while before pouring it. It always amazed me how back on Earth, friends of mine would dip a tea bag in the water and then somehow expect flavour of any kind to materialise. Twilight had a very nice tea set of good china. Tea to my mind, is a luxury, and should be served in a manner fitting. As a finishing touch Spike added a slice of lemon wedge to the saucer.

“Thanks, Spike,” I said as the young dragon brought the tray over. Twilight had gone for one of her herbal teas. Lizzie had a thing for those too. “Ah’ll never understand how you can take those, Twi,” I said smiling.

“Blade Star! I’ll have you know that Zecora’s herbal teas are amongst the best in Equestria,” she replied with mock offense.

“True, but a good Earl Hay doesn’t require a trip through a potentially dangerous forest.” I coughed to disguise my next word. “Cockatrice.” This caused the alicorn to blush profusely.

“That was just bad judgement on my part,” she countered, getting a little flustered. I was about to goad her a little more, when the guard captain, who had stayed almost completely still, at last began to stir.

It started as quiet mutterings, as many tend to do when dreaming. I couldn’t pick out any words. He was definitely a bit agitated though, as he began to toss and turn on the sofa. We both paused our conversation to watch the unusual spectacle and to ensure we were not the cause of his disturbance. His mutterings continued unabated though and before long I could make out a few words.

“Squadron……reinforce……breech……princess…….creatures.” This kept up, steadily rising in volume before he finally began desperately crying out. “Fix bayonets! FIX BAYONETS!” And with that he awoke with a start. His breathing was heavy and laboured, his eyes wide in near terror. He looked about desperately, trying to work out where he was. Eventually, as he steadied himself, he turned to Twilight.

“Shieldy, are you alright?!” Twilight’s question was half shouted due to her concern for her long-time friend. She quickly galloped up to him. The captain sat himself up and got to his hooves.

“It’s nothing Miss Sparkle, just a bad dream. Nothing for you to worry about,” he replied, gently nudging Twilight away. His voice was calm and relaxed, almost as if nothing had happened. Before Twilight had a chance to reply, he turned to me. “Now Rookie, let’s get going, we’ve got a fair bit to do today.” And with that he trotted out of the library. That was the most blatant and also the first of many red flags.

Once again Strong Shield led me out of Ponyville to the same area of grassland where I had practiced stun spells the day before. Nothing had really changed since then. I could even see the marks in the grass from where I had fought with the ‘changeling’ yesterday. Strong Shield finally stopped and turned to address me.

“Alright Rookie. Yesterday we practiced using spells in an offensive capacity to take your opponent out of play. Today, we’ll focus on the opposite, absorbing an opponent’s attack and staying on your hooves. Clear?”

“Yes, Captain,” I replied instantly. Though internally I was surprised. Any trace of what had transpired in the library was gone. Or at least hidden under a mask.

“Good,” he paused briefly. “Now, since you know a bit about recent history, you should be able to tell me the best means of defending against a threat with magic.” He again paused, awaiting my answer.

“A magical shield, Captain,” I responded, thinking back to both the attempt to protect Canterlot and the far more successful spell used to keep King Sombra out of the Crystal Empire.

“Correct. Now you aren’t no Princess of Love, so don’t think you can cast one of those ‘love barriers’. The best you can hope for is a basic level absorption field. This will absorb any magical energy that comes into contact with it; be it a stun spell, telekinesis or a transformation.” For a moment, his eyes seemed to look through me and he fell silent. A ‘thousand yard’ stare.

“You okay, Captain?” I asked hesitatingly. He quickly rounded on me.

“Never you mind, Rookie!” he snapped. He only seemed to call me that when he was annoyed. “Now, the drawback of a ‘Shield spell’ is that it is a constant drain.”

Twilight had told me about this in one of her earlier lectures. A typical spell drains energy for as long as it is active. So as soon as a stun spell has been fired, no more energy is needed. With something like a shield spell however, it required a continuous influx of energy to maintain. If that energy was interrupted for any period, such as when Shining Armour was hypnotised, the spell will naturally degrade and fail. In addition, the constant influx meant a continuous drain, the spell didn’t need energy only when it took a hit, but all the time due to the background magic found throughout the world. Needless to say, had my Year 9 Physics teacher followed me here, he would have gone absolutely bonkers. Strong Shield continued.

“So, due to this, only use a shield when necessary. They’re easy enough to form, but difficult to maintain. Use them to absorb an attack, then drop and retaliate. Understand?”

“Yes, Captain.” Strong Shield was again falling into the teaching methods he would use for Guards. But to be fair, you couldn’t really teach this sort of magic without also going into its effective use.

“Right, let’s try you then. First an endurance test.” He turned to face the small targets that were still set up here. “Each of these will fire a low level burst. They don’t hurt on their own, but there’s strength in numbers. Put up a shield and maintain it for as long as you can.” I nodded in understanding. He then outlined the nuances of casting the spell; it was actually very simple as he said. As soon as I cast my horn alight I was encased in a small purple bubble. I guess the colour isn’t affected by a pony’s own aura colour.

“Ready, Captain!” I hollered, remembering the sound absorbing quality of the spell. He replied in kind.

“Okay, standby. Standby. Go!” With that, he teleported out of the firing line and I was ‘lit up’.

The ten targets each began firing their low level burst. From a distance they would have looked like a very impressive light show. From my perspective, in the firing line, I felt like I was in a Viper in front of a Cylon base ship. When that much, of what some would call ‘extremely motivating’ fire, was coming straight towards you, you didn’t really have time to appreciate any conceivable artistic beauty.

When the first bolts impacted my magically powered barrier, I didn’t feel much. Strong Shield had told me that for every hit, I would need to add a little more to the spell to keep it active. But for the first twenty seconds or so, I just kept the spell active. Around thirty seconds in though, I began to notice the strain. The shield was not as thick as it was before and was in places looking dangerously weak. So, I channelled more magic into it. The shield quickly reformed into a more stable form. However, I definitely felt a bit weaker from adding to it.

Over the next six and half minutes this continued. The shield would begin to weaken, and I would add more magic, feeling more tired each time. Finally, I was out of proverbial juice. I had no more magic to give. The shield began to crack and flicker. Finally, it simply shattered, the pieces vanishing as they fell. And with that, I took some hits.

Luckily, I was able to duck down to avoid the last few bolts as the targets stopped firing. As it turned out though, I had other things to worry about. I’d been too busy focusing on the minor matter of maintaining the shield and not getting hit to look towards Strong Shield. What I saw now though alarmed me greatly.

The unicorn guard was standing unsteadily, shaking as if terrified beyond measure. I could see his eyes; they were darting about as if he were a small colt surrounded by Timberwolves. He had that look again. This time, he didn’t scream, just muttered.

“It’s gone…..the city……what do I do?” He was then overcome by another shaking fit. I rushed to his side.

“Captain? Captain Strong Shield?! Can you hear me?” I tapped the side of his face repeatedly with a hoof trying to get him to focus. Luckily my action seemed to bring him around.

“What the Hay are you doing, Rookie?!” he asked crossly.

“Captain, you seemed to be havin’ a bit of a turn there. Are you sure you’re okay?” He sighed in resignation and placed a hoof on the bridge of his snout. Silence prevailed for a while.

“Sorry you had to see that,” he said at length. “I just get these spells from time to time, usually come out of it in a minute or so. Docs say it’s some kind of response to mental trauma. It’s why I’m an instructor and not a guard.” I nodded in understanding.

“Ah’m familiar with such conditions, Captain. ‘Combat fatigue’ occurs quite often amongst human soldiers,” I replied.

“Just, don’t tell anypony okay? Miss Sparkle couldn’t take it if she found out. She and that brother of hers always looked up to me back when I was just a guard.” I promised that I would keep silent.

On the one hand, I wanted him to get help. But I knew that such action would require him to leave the Royal Guard. The episodes seemed to be triggered by the image of a shield collapsing, for he’d shown no issue with the ‘changelings’ yesterday. As for his dreams, I might ask Luna to keep an eye on him when I went to Canterlot.

We continued practicing for the rest of the day, going through the many variations of shields. These ranged from anti-magic, health shields that blocked disease up to the theoretical concept of the love shield that only Princess Cadence could pull off. When we were finished, we headed back to the library. Twilight and myself thanked him for agreeing to come down here and he thanked us for the opportunity. As I took him out to the waiting chariot, he thanked me again.

“When you’re in Canterlot, Rookie, you should come by the officers club. I’ll vouch for you, I owe you.” Thanking him again, I watched as he climbed into the chariot and returned to Canterlot.

Chapter 33 - The Spa

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I had been packing since early morning. Today was Wednesday. Today I would accompany Rarity to Canterlot for the fashion show that was to be held there by Hoity Toity. Tonight we would take the sleeper train up the mountain and settle in on arrival the next morning. Rarity had booked a suite at one of the many hotels in the city. Unlike her previous visit, she could not stay in the castle. The show and subsequent events were to be attended by a number of diplomatic guests, who had naturally claimed the castle suites. Nevertheless, based on their brochure the hotel we were staying at was something equivalent to the Ritz.

Consequently, I was taking great care to pack everything I thought I could conceivably need. I would be taking my existing formal attire for both the show and subsequent reception. But as well as this, I had packed basic toiletries, a reserve of Bits as well as some ink, scrolls and quills and a couple books. For the third time, I checked that I had my pre-booked train ticket, a first class given to me by Rarity, who refused to travel in anything less. The small suitcase Applejack had lent me was now becoming quite difficult to close as were my saddlebags.

“Fancy taking the kitchen sink with ya too?” a voice asked behind me. I quickly turned around to find Applejack leaning in the doorway to my room.

“Ah’m just being prepared, ‘Jack. ‘Sides, at least ah’m only takin’ one case. Last count for Rarity was six.” AJ chuckled.

“Yeah, that sounds ‘bout right.” She smiled as I tried to force all my weight down on the case to seal it. “Here let me give ya a hoof.” With our combined effort we were able to close the case, though it still bulged a little, and it was heavier than sin. The clock on the wall read about five past ten. I wasn’t exactly rushing; the train didn’t even leave until six that night. I just preferred to be prepared and organised, a bit like Twilight. Well, a lot like Twilight actually.

The main reason I was rushing was that I had lots of other things to do in preparation. You can’t just wander into Canterlot in the condition I was in. My once shining grey coat was now quite matted and covered in dust and the odd bit of dried mud from working while my dark blue mane and tail were growing to a point my grandfather would have considered to be ‘hippy’ and my hooves were somewhat chipped and dulled as well. All in all, working on the farm had taken its toll on my mortal coil.

As such, Rarity had insisted that I make myself more presentable before we left. There was only one means of accomplishing this feat according to her; the spa. Dear Luna, how I loathe the concept of spas! I understand that females, particularly high maintenance ones like Rarity, require such care. Me on the other hoof, as long as I had a bath or a shower at regular intervals and had my hair trimmed when it began to make wearing my glasses a chore, I was happy. Nevertheless, Rarity had insisted that I accompany her and Fluttershy on their weekly spa date. I guess this was to be the death knell of my masculinity.

Applejack of course, in the manner of close friends, took great delight at my impending torture. Isn’t friendship magic, eh? As I prepared myself for what felt like walking the Green Mile, she continued to giggle behind her hoof.

“Oh, come on Bones. It won’t be that bad,” she said, still giggling.

“No,” I replied sarcastically. “It’s not as if Ah’m being forced to a place where most sane males fear to tread.”

“Oh don’t be such a stick in the mud!” AJ replied, gently poking my side. “It’s not that bad, and it’s just this one time.” I’m afraid that when she said that, I may have formed a cunning plan.

“If it’s not that bad, why don’t you join me, ‘Jack?” I asked, grinning. The mare quickly spluttered.

“Oh, erm, well. Ah’d love to but….” She couldn’t think of a reason to warrant her escape. Caught.

“Yes, you should join me. I’m sure Rarity and Fluttershy won’t mind. And you could use it too.” I continued to grin as AJ became more and more flustered. Eventually though, she caved, showing her true feeling regarding pampering.

“Fine,” she answered irritably. As we headed downstairs though, we both fell to giggling at our mutual misfortune. Grabbing a sack of bits to pay for my contribution, we headed out.

The Day Spa was actually quite a small building at a first glance. However, like my parents’ new home, it was a deep building, in contrast to the more equal shaped buildings surrounding it. It was to be expected that the spa was painted in a variety of purples and pinks. It wasn’t of course, that far from Carousel Boutique, and so Rarity was already waiting for us when we arrived, with her bags. Fluttershy was also just walking up. Rarity was expecting me, but the sight of Applejack caught her by surprise.

“Applejack, darling? What are you doing here?” she asked perplexedly. “I was only expecting Blade Star.”

“Ah convinced her to join us, Rarity,” I replied. “We could both do with a treatment wouldn’t you say?” I hadn’t noticed that I hadn’t switched to my old accent. The look on Rarity’s and Fluttershy’s faces though, quickly notified me of this.

“Darling, what in the wide, wide world of Equestria has happened to your voice?” she asked. “You sound like one of Applejack’s relatives.”

“You haven’t gone near any of that Poison Joke have you?” Fluttershy offered. Before I had a chance to respond, Applejack jumped in.

“Well, Ah guess he must have been puttin’ on his old accent for you, Rare. Maybe’s he’s tryin’ to get in yer good books. Eh, Bones?” I had a full body blush at her comment.

“That’s not why Ah do it!” I exclaimed. AJ merely burst into giggles and I realised that she was merely retaliating for me making her come here. “Oh, lay off, ‘Jack!” I gave her a gentle shove.

Rarity was also tittering, though in a far more lady-like way. I swear that I saw her give a knowing smile as myself and the country mare continued to plot further retaliatory action. Fluttershy on the other hand, took refuge behind her mane.

“Well, since you are both here,” Rarity said. “Our appointment is in about ten minutes. So shall we go in?” The fashionista turned and headed inside, with myself and Applejack bringing up the rear. Well, ‘for what we are about to receive’ and all that.

The Day Spa’s exterior was, as I said, deceptive. The reception room into which we entered was large and spacious, in sharp contrast to the relatively small looking building. Standing behind the counter was one of the two sisters who ran and owned the spa. I was never fully sure until then which was which. Luckily, Rarity’s greeting allowed me a chance to cement in my brain, which mare was which.

“Good morning, Lotus!” she called as the blue coated mare looked up. “We’re here for our appointment at half-past. Do you mind if Applejack here tags along?” I instantly committed the mare’s identity to memory. Lotus was blue and Aloe was pink.

“Of course not, Miss Rarity,” Lotus replied. Her accent was similar to that which you would hear in Eastern Europe. Perhaps she was descended from the Equestrian equivalent of Slavic. “The spa is quiet for the moment. I will just go and tell Aloe. Please take a seat.” She gestured to a small seating area to our left.

We all settled ourselves in to wait. Rarity immediately picked up some gossip magazine and busied herself with the latest scandal to befall the nobility. Fluttershy selected a nature magazine from some conservation charity. As for me and Applejack, there were no copies of the Equestrian Guard, which was Equestria’s equivalent of the Daily Telegraph and the only publication the Apples cared to read, so we chatted idly for a while. I reminded AJ that she still had her Stetson on, which she promptly hung up in the reception.

After a short while Lotus returned accompanied by her much pinker twin sister.

“Alright everypony, if you would like to follow us,” Lotus said. I silently thanked Celestia that they didn’t do that disturbing ‘twin speak’.

The four of us followed the two mares into the back of the spa. As we walked Rarity outlined the schedule for this torturous session.

“All right, Blade Star, here’s what we shall be doing. First of all, we shall take a mud bath.” I had to stop her there.

“Rarity, Ah’ve got enough mud stains on me already.” I commented dryly. Applejack voiced her agreement. Rarity let out a sigh.

“This mud is highly purified though, darling. It will help cleanse your skin and remove any impurities. It’s nothing like the mud on Sweet Apple Acres. It’s actually imported here from the Crystal Empire.” I whispered in Applejack’s ear.

“Guess you were right about her and imported mud.” We both giggled, resulting in a glare from Rarity.

“After that,” she continued. “We will have a good bath to clean our coats, then a quick spell in the steam room, a massage then a quick hooficure and manecut.” This sounded extensive.

“Rarity, erm, how long is all that gonna take?” Applejack asked.

“Oh, no more than a few hours,” she replied as if it was the simplest thing in the world. The pair of us facehoofed. It was going to be a long day.

And so we were lead to the mud baths. I can only describe these as horrid steaming vats. From where I was standing, imported or not, the only difference between this and the mud found across Sweet Apple Acres was that this stuff was heated. There were half a dozen of these baths in the room, and each was clearly designed for one occupant. So, after a quick sigh of resignation, I descended down the small steps into the mud. Rarity instructed both AJ and myself to allow the mud up to our necks. The ooze was thick and certainly didn’t make me feel ‘cleansed and rejuvenated’, as Rarity had promised. The girls fell into idle natter, as women tend to do in these situations, while I just tried to will this ordeal to be over. I wouldn’t mind a bath, but this just felt horrid.

Luckily, after what felt like an eternity, Lotus and Aloe came to fetch us. I once again committed to memory the fact that Aloe was pink.

“Alright, we can move on to the mineral baths now. A quick shower to remove any excess mud first though.” I had noticed the shower heads directly above each vat. The mud quickly drained away from each vat, revealing all of us, covered in the thick, slimy and uncomfortably warm mud. In a moment though these shower heads began to spray warm water down onto us. We all quickly scrubbed the partially encrusted mud off our coats and skin before climbing out of the now empty bath.

“There, was that really so bad?” Rarity asked. AJ looked about ready to speak her mind. Looking at a nearby clock, I could see that that whole nonsense had taken just under an hour. Sure I felt clean now, mainly because I had just washed all the mud off. My coat now had some of its original shine back. I leaned over to Applejack.

“Patience, ‘Jack,” I said calmingly. “That’s gotta be the worst part done, a decent bath will do us any amount of good.” We both again buried our irritation at being here.

Our procession was lead to another room. This time, there were several large Jacuzzi like tubs, filled with clear blue water. They were clearly intended to be shared, bringing us all nicely to our first awkward situation.

“Right, in we get,” Rarity proclaimed happily, quickly setting herself into the bath. AJ, Fluttershy and myself exchanged somewhat uncomfortable looks.

“Erm, Rarity,” Fluttershy mumbled. “Maybe Blade Star should have a separate bath?” I nodded perhaps a little too eagerly. Evidently Fluttershy had picked up on some human culture and its strong differences with that of Equestria.

“What ever for, Fluttershy? There’s plenty of room for all of us.” I was now beginning to blush brightly.

“Oh, well you see…” The rest of Fluttershy’s explanation came out as an inaudible mumble. Seeing where this was going, I decided to take a leap.

“Rarity, except for a few select situations, it is improper in human culture for this situation to occur,” I stated in my old accent, lacking emotion. Rarity seemed to cotton on, and then, disregard it.

“Oh don’t be such a prude, Blade Star,” she replied. “I assure you, there is nothing wrong with you joining us. Right girls?” She turned to AJ and Fluttershy who shook their heads hesitantly. And since none of the other baths were filled at the moment, it seemed I was fated. Of the four of us, only one really enjoyed her bath. The rest of us revelled in the awkwardness.

The last group based part of this seemingly never ending debacle was an hour or so in a steam room. Were I on earth, this would have been the most awkward part. However, since I had not really worn clothes of any kind since I arrived except for the waistcoat Rarity had made, and combined with Equestria’s lack of a nudity taboo, it was actually quite relaxing.

The sauna was like any other that you would find on Earth. It was about ten by ten with a stack of hot coals in the centre. Lining the walls were benches for us to sit on. Of course, despite their design, we all sat in the typical equine way, lying down on our stomachs. I couldn’t understand how Lyra put up with the pain from the way she sat.

Rarity and Fluttershy had both taken spa robes when we left the mineral bath, Applejack and myself on the other hand, preferred the simpler method of simply shaking ourselves dry, much to Rarity’s disgust and Fluttershy’s amusement. Aloe led us to the sauna and gave us two newcomers a quick safety lesson on the sauna, just in case we had a dizzy spell or something from the heat.

“Aloe, me and ‘Jack are more than used to workin’ in hot weather. Ah’m sure we can take an hour in the steam room,” I assured her. With that, the pink spa pony left us, closing the door behind her.

The sauna was actually quite enjoyable I must say. It was not the uncomfortable feeling I was expecting. I figured that it would just be like sitting in the noon day sun. In reality, while it was warm, it also felt quite cleansing and relaxing. Applejack too seemed to be enjoying herself. And then, Lady Smug piped up.

“See Blade Star, I told you that you would enjoy this. And it has worked wonders on you, darling.” I had to give her credit. My coat was clean and shining like a rook’s wing, and the mineral water had removed all the odds and ends from my mane. All that remained was the massage, hooficure and manecut. The mane cut, I needed, but those other two options seemed to indicate more tedium.

Nevertheless, I would endure. I may not be enjoying it as much as the girls were, but I could hardy pitch up in Canterlot in the state I was in. It would embarrass me, and it would embarrass Rarity, and probably my species as a whole, as well as lowering the reputation of Ponyville in the eyes of the nobles. Social politics eh?

The final three stages of this spa treatment would all be accomplished in one room. A massage to relieve tension, which I have always seen as an oxymoron, then the equivalent of a visit to the farrier and finally, a manecut. For obvious reasons I requested that Rarity not to let the twins style my mane. As long as it was cut and neat, I was content.

The massage for reasons you can perhaps guess, I am not going to describe or mention ever again for as long as I draw breath. Nor will any of the girls as I ensured that they Pinkie promised to remain silent. They agreed to keep quiet in exchange for me not bringing up any equally embarrassing incidents for them, such as ‘Tom’, Iron Will’s assertiveness training and AJ’s breakdown in Applebuck Season. Suffice it to say though, an unfortunate biological reaction occurred. Let’s leave it at that.

The hooficure was not as bad as I thought it would be. Looking at my hooves, they could use some work. Even by my standards, the fore hooves in particular were chipped and in general looked a little unsightly, a consequence of hard work. Lotus though was very talented and evened them out and shined the exposed hooves, doing her best to repair any further damage. My right back hoof had got badly splintered, but as it wasn’t causing me pain, it was simply sealed up.

Lastly, the manecut. Except for the mineral bath, this was the only part of the treatment I admitted that I actually needed. Both my mane and tail were getting to the point of being out of control. Okay sure, there was nothing wrong with the ‘rugged’ look, aside from the fact that I couldn’t pull it off, but I was going to a formal event. Consequently, I fell back into old habits, and had Aloe trim it in a somewhat militaristic style that was low maintenance and would last me for a good month or so.

With that, I was released from the spa. Rarity and Fluttershy stayed on to have their manes more thoroughly styled. Both did have complex manestyles. As for me and AJ, we paid our dues, or rather I did, since I was the one who roped the poor mare into this, and we headed back to the farm. I’d pick up my suitcase and saddlebags and then head down to the train station. I’d then meet Rarity there and we would board the overnight train. I hadn’t had a chance to look at the clock until we exited the spa.

Firstly, it was now getting on for dusk, Celestia’s sun just hanging onto the horizon. Secondly, I could see the overnight train just pulling into the station across town. And third, the clock on Ponyville Tower read half past five; the train left at six. Me and AJ had ourselves a bit of a race.

Chapter 34 - Trains, Hooves and Teleports

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The pair of us began galloping as fast as we could back toward Sweet Apple Acres. I had to grab my bags, check for the last time I had everything and then gallop back to Ponyville to the train station. And I had to do all of this in half an hour. The clock adorning Ponyville Tower was easily visible as we ran and I could see the hands steadily creeping round. At six o’clock the train would depart for Canterlot, whether I was aboard or not.

For every tick of the clock I began to pile on more speed, touching a pace I knew that neither of us could keep up. It took a half hour at a normal trot to get just from Sweet Apple Acres to Ponyville; I now had to do double the distance in half the time. Even at a gallop this seemed impossible.

Still, with Celestia’s sun well below the horizon and a crescent moon hanging high in the darkened sky, it was cooler at the very least. I would not ruin my newly attained ‘clean’ condition by my exertions. Rarity would undoubtedly kill me where I stood were I to turn up to the station sweating after a full gallop.

Finally, we reached the entrance to the farm. Blasting through the fields, the farmhouse quickly came into view along with the barn and the other outbuildings. The two us all but flew through the front door, almost scaring the life out of Granny Smith, who had until then been peacefully napping in her rocking chair.

“What in tarnation is goin’ on here?!” she exclaimed. But we had already rushed up the stairs to my room. Hurriedly, I checked that I had the train ticket and Bits. AJ then quickly threw my saddlebags onto my back, causing my legs to buckle slightly under the weight. I then encased the small suitcase that held my other possessions in my magic and pulled it two my side.

We then turned about, all but slamming the door behind us and hurtled back downstairs. Granny Smith, who was now out of her rocking chair tried to work out what the hay was going on.

“Applejack, what are y’all doin’?!” The mare in question hurriedly shouted a response back to her.

“Takin’ Blade Star to the station, Granny! Back Soon!” And with that we were out the door.

Running was now significantly more of a chore than on the way here. I had a fair few more pounds to carry, plus the strain on my magic. You try concentrating on keeping a spell active whist galloping with extra weight holding you down. It’s not easy that’s for sure. Both of us were beginning to show the strain from exerting ourselves so much.

When we emerged from the orchards and the Ponyville Tower re-entered our view, my heart sank. The clock read ten minutes to six. It had taken us twenty minutes, when we were fresh and unburdened to get to the farm, now we had a mere ten minutes. It was impossible. I brought myself to a halt, with Applejack quickly joining me.

“’Jack, it’s no good. We can’t make it,” I said bitterly. My sides were heaving and my breath came in painful gasps.

AJ’s expression on the other hand was one of inspiration. She’d come up with a plan. A plan that should have entered my mind from the moment we exited the spa.

“Not to be rude, Sugarcube. But, ain’t you a unicorn? Last time I looked Twi taught ya to teleport.” I facehoofed. I was such a bucking idiot. While I was low on physical reserves, I had only been carrying one, comparatively light, case since we left the farm. I had more than enough for a mid-range teleport. But then, a thought dawned on me.

“But, you won’t be able to see me off at the station,” I replied. Everypony and everyone else said they would be there to wave me and Rarity off. It would be strange for Applejack not to be there.

“Ah’m here ain’t I?” she countered. “’Sides, you’re only gone for a couple days. You go on, and ah’ll head back to the house to explain everythin’ to Granny. Now go on, don’t keep Rarity waitin’.”

“Sure?” I asked. She lightly smacked me round the head in response, laughing kindly.

“Go on with ya. Ah’ll see ya Saturday,” she briefly hugged me as I prepared the necessary spell.

With that I charged my horn and weaved the complex spell. Visualising the station in my mind as the destination, I let the magic build up. Finally, with its signature flash and pop, I found myself on the platform.

Everypony was there in addition to my own family. Pinkie had already placed a ‘Come Back Soon’ banner, along with a multitude of balloons on the platform. Twilight asked me to pass on my greetings to Celestia if we had a chance to talk and I told my father that I’d possibly drop by and see him too if I got the chance. They all asked after Applejack and I explained her absence as well as my sudden arrival. Now that I think about it, it was the first time any of my family had seen me teleport. That might explain my mother’s unusually pale complexion.

Before anything else could be said though, I was set upon by Rarity. After briefly chastising me for cutting my arrival time so finely, she insisted that we both board the train immediately as departure was in a matter of moments. So bidding one final farewell to my friends and family, I followed Rarity up the steps and into the first class sleeper car. Moments later, the conductor slammed the doors shut and signalled the engine with his lantern. The train whistled in reply, before steadily setting off.

As the train pulled out of the station, Rarity and I opened a couple of the carriage’s windows to wave and everypony we were leaving behind on the platform. Pinkie, in her characteristic way chased us all the way to the end of the platform, desperately pleading that we not forget her or Ponyville.

As we cleared Ponyville we closed the windows to keep the heat in. The car in which we found ourselves was quite opulent. It was not Canterlot Castle by any stretch of the imagination, but it was certainly more than I would have expected on a train, even an overnight service. There were four beds, two on each side of the aisle each large enough to accommodate a pony easily. Further down towards the end were two sofas to relax in, complete with an attendant coffee table.

Heading further up the train through the door out of our car was the Dining Car, where we would have our dinner tonight and breakfast on the morrow. From what I could see through the window, it too looked as opulent as our current surroundings.

We quickly stowed all our luggage in the overhead racks above us. While I had just one suitcase and my saddlebags, Rarity had arrived with no less than a dozen different bags. To be fair, some of these contained the new designs that she would be showing off at the show. Nevertheless at least eight of the bags contained what she described as ‘basic necessities’. Settling down on her berth, the alabaster mare struck up conversation with me.

“I must say Blade Star, I am so glad you chose to accompany me to Canterlot,” she began.

“It would be nice to head on up there again, Rarity,” I replied. “Been a while since Ah’ve seen the princesses or anythin’.” Rarity looked off to her left, nervously.

“Erm, Blade Star, please don’t take this the wrong way but…” she trailed off.

“But?”

“Well, do you think you could try and drop your new accent whilst we are in the capital? It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just that some ponies might give you a less than warm reception.” I smiled kindly, hoping to relax her.

“Well, back on my world, this sort of accent could be seen as quite gentlecolt-like.” I offered. “I thought while I was there ah might try and pull off the ‘honourable southern gentleman’ act.”

“The what?” Rarity asked incredulously.

“Well, let me explain.” I went into a brief explanation of the idea of the ‘southern gentleman’. Whilst it may be nowadays more fiction than fact, it did crop up every now and again. This inevitably led to an explanation of the American Civil War. This in turn led to me spinning a few tales of CSA cavalry officers and stories of the many Partisan Rangers groups. I might have romanticised the whole thing.

Just a little.

Okay, a lot.

After I ended my explanation Rarity seemed to take a very rapid liking to my accent and its supposed connotations. She insisted that I retell a few of the stories I had to both the nobility we would meet and to perhaps a few of the guards. It was a shame I didn’t have a copy of ‘Gone with the Wind’ on me. Given that she had unknowingly referenced it once, I figured she’d probably enjoy it.

We then adjourned to the dining car for dinner.

Given that we were on a relatively small overnight train, in a world which was only beginning to reach a technological level similar to Earth, I was surprised at the quality of the food on offer. I’d taken overnight trains before, the last one being up to Scotland to visit relatives there. In most cases though, the food had either been fairly basic, or horribly similar to airline meals. Here though, Rarity and myself were treated to an excellent pasta dish with a from scratch tomato sauce along with onions and courgettes. All in all, a very nice meal, and all included in our ticket, though to be fair, we were riding first class to Equestria’s opulent capital.

I could not help but feel slightly awkward though. Rarity and I were seated at a small dining table across from each other. The restaurant quality food, combined with the interior decoration of the dining car and the ambient piano coming from some unseen gramophone gave the whole scenario a very date like feel. I did my best to hide my minor discomfort as Rarity seemed to be entirely oblivious anyway.

We continued to chat about history; she had certainly taken to my various stories. Perhaps there is something to be said for vanquished hero after all. My mother had frequently joked that I should have taken to wearing a medallion of St Jude her mother gave her; St Jude being the patron saint of the lost cause, and also policemen if memory serves. As the train continued to press on through the night, our discussion moved toward Canterlot and the fashion show and ball we would be attending.

“Accent or not, Blade Star, at least I know you will be able to maintain the proper decorum at this event,” she said. “While the girls are my closest friends, sometimes….Well, sometimes the nobility do not take kindly to them, in spite of everything we’ve done.” This gave me an opportunity to ask a question I had been meaning to for ages.

“Speaking of all you’ve done, Rarity, I’m quite surprised by the lack of recognition y’all sometimes get. Ah would have thought that as the wielders of the Elements, you’d be all but celebrities.” Rarity smiled.

“Oh we are not that important really, darling," she replied, much to my confusion. “The incident with Discord was confined to Ponyville, and we were merely part of the many in Canterlot during the wedding,” I unconsciously scowled at the mention of that event. “And the Crystal Empire was protected by Princess Cadence. As for those horrid plants, it was all really over and done with before news got out. The only real time we were recognised was when we all first met; but even then, we were overshadowed by the return of Princess Luna.” Concluding her speech, she returned to her pasta.

“Well, I guess that makes sense,” I said, my mind struggling to apply this new information.

Finishing up our respective dinners, Rarity had herself a small coffee, whilst I had a cup of hot chocolate. I have never understood why ponies, or humans for that matter, insist on having coffee at the end of an evening meal. Nevertheless, when we returned to our car, to find the beds turned down, Rarity quickly settled herself down and fell asleep.

As for me, I stayed up a little while longer. I briefly went to the rear of the train to sit on the guard platform to stargaze. However, the speed and rocking motion only served to agitate my stomach, so I returned to my berth. Lying down in the, surprisingly comfy bed, I briefly considered a certain Agatha Christie novel that would be apt to have on hand. The evening had been a pleasant one, reminding me of a bygone era as well as giving me a chance to catch up with Rarity and converse away from that infernal spa. And with that, sleep claimed me.

Chapter 35 - Canterlot Again

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The next morning, I was awoken by a terrifying monster. Seriously, I was. Once again, I was partially forced from my slumber by Celestia’s unnecessarily bright sun. However, what returned me to a state of consciousness was the white hoof which persistently shook me by the barrel. I did my best to return to the land of nod, but it was not to be, as the noises of the train hurtling along the tracks made it impossible to drift off. Finally, I heard a voice calling me, with some impatience I might add.

“Blade Star! Quickly, darling, we’ll be in Canterlot in half an hour!” When this proved less than effective the voice switched to a more simple command. “Get up!”

At that precise moment, my eyes opened just enough to be dazzled by the sunlight. My eyes flew open with the pupils shrinking to pinpricks in a desperate effort to regulate the light. I quickly raised a hoof to my face and blinked to clear the spots.

“Alright Rarity. Ah’m up,” I said groggily. I moved my hoof away as the black spots on my vision began to clear.

That was when I saw it. A foul pony like monster with strange green eyes and a green face too. Its hair was held back by cylinders. A frightening image at any rate. Needless to say, I jumped out of my berth, and I promptly had an unhappy reunion with the floor of the car. As I cried out, the voice spoke again.

“Darling, are you alright?” she asked.

If nothing else, the blow to the head had made me lucid again, and I quickly realised that the frightening apparition was just Rarity applying her many beauty products. She removed the two cucumbers from over her eyes and looked down at me.

“Ah’m fine Rarity. Ya just startled me is all,” I answered as I got to my hooves. “Now what did you say?” She sighed in consternation.

“I said we are almost to Canterlot. So do be a dear and make yourself presentable, hmm?” Evidently the fashionista mare was a little cranky in the morning.

I quickly went to the other end of the car and pulled out the washbasin. Splashing some water on my face completed the process of waking up. I didn’t actually look too bad. I hurriedly fixed my mane removing what my father frequently termed a ‘hen’s arse’. And I removed the sleep from my eyes. I then went back to my berth and lowered my suitcase to the floor. Magic was starting to become an instinctive thing now, requiring far less of a conscious effort, at least so far as simple tasks went. I still felt teleportation was a bit of a stretch.

I threw on my waistcoat and quickly smoothed out any obvious crinkles. It was a bit of a shame that I didn’t have a nice little pocket watch to go with this. Maybe I could drop a hint to somepony for Hearth’s Warming.

With that all done, I briefly returned to the mirror to give myself another quick once over. I looked just as I had the last time I had been to this city. Although I was now perhaps a little wiser and I had been through a few changes. Still this would be the first time I had been to the city proper; it would be nice to see the capital in its entirety, even if it was populated by tiresome, self-serving snobs. The princesses exempted of course.

Roughly half an hour later, after emerging from the long tunnel which led up the mountain, our train pulled into Canterlot. The conductor came through with a call of ‘all change’ and we disembarked.

Naturally, I was obliged to help Rarity with her many bags. While she insisted on looking after those which contained her newly designed dresses, a large portion of the rest were left to me. While my use of magic may have become more and more instinctive, it didn’t lessen the mental strain of levitating ten different bags, including my own. However, I did not have to carry them far, just from the station to the cab rank. As with any railway station, lined up outside the front were a number of cabs. Of course, as Equestria relied upon the proverbial pony power, these were rickshaws and dogcarts.

In spite of spending most of my life out in the middle of nowhere, one of the few skills I retained from urban living was the ability to hail cabs. I quickly engaged a rickshaw on the rank. The cabbie quickly unhitched himself to help Rarity with all the bags. No help for me though, no, muggins had to move all of his bags either onto the roof or into the cab himself. The cabbie went back to the front and re-attached himself.

“Right, now where to, my dear?” he asked Rarity. In spite of vocation, he still possessed a Canterlot accent, which struck me as a little odd. Rarity leaned out to reply.

“Get us to the Equestrian Imperial, please,” she said. The cabbie nodded and we started off.

I kept an eye on the fare meter as we went. Just because Canterlot was full of the rich and famous did not mean it was above your cheap scams. In this case though my concerns were unfounded. We stuck to the larger roads of the city. It was a magnificent metropolis, but I could not see myself living here. I briefly wondered what had possessed Celestia all those years ago when she decided to move her home and seat of power out of the old castle in the Everfree and out to the side of a mountain. The Everfree Forest was dangerous enough, but building an entire city on an almost vertical cliff face seemed beyond the pale. Though, I suppose anywhere was preferable than the place where you imprisoned your own blood in a black and silent hell.

As we continued on, we passed a few roadworks, apparently another universal constant. The area around the site was slightly charred from heat. Perhaps where a Changeling had landed not so long ago. It certainly reminded me of London. There was a noticeable guard presence throughout, a consequence of an honourless attack by a cowardly and conniving race.

At length, we pulled up to the hotel we would be staying at. The Equestrian Imperial Hotel, as the sign on the front of the building proclaimed, was indeed Equestria’s answer to the Ritz. As soon as we pulled up, a couple bellboys jumped into action to help us with the many bags. I was certainly grateful for the assistance, though Rarity did insist that she would carry the dress bags.

The reception was as opulent as I had expected, if not more so. The whole place was marble with deep red carpets underhoof. We both trotted up to the reception where a pretty unicorn mare with a light pink mane greeted us with a well-practiced false smile.

“Hello, and welcome to the Equestrian Imperial Hotel. May I see your reservations please?” Rarity fished about in one of her smaller bags and retrieved a few sheets of paper. She passed it to the mare behind the counter. Taking the papers from Rarity’s aura, she quickly examined them. “Thank you, your room is Number 242. Your bags will be brought up presently.” She then levitated a pair of room keys, one for each of us.

Thanking her, we both headed for one of the many lifts that dotted the foyer. The hotel was a fairly large building, twelve floors all told. We were roughly halfway up, not the penthouse suites by any stretch, but a decent middling position with a large room and a balcony. Room service was naturally included as was dinner and breakfast.

Riding up in the lifts, we began to chat again.

“Well, are you excited to be here, Rarity?” I asked. There was no one else in the lift, so it seemed silly to ride up to the sixth floor in silence.

“Of course I am, darling,” she replied. “I just hope I have a nicer time than my previous visits.” She had a point. The last time she had visited Canterlot on fashion business, she had had to endure the snobbery that filled the city outside the palace. Every other time had involved either being sent somewhere to deal with Equestria’s foes, or repelling an invasion of glorified locusts. Thinking back, I still could not understand how they were captured. They were beating the Changelings left, right and centre and then all of a sudden, they were captured.

I was startled out of my internal rant as the lift bell rang out and the doors opened. Stepping out, we followed the various signs around the floor until we reached our room. Outside a bellhop was already waiting for us, with a trolley filled with our bags in attendance. Encasing my key in my aura, I opened the door to our room. Behind me, Rarity gave the bellhop a generous tip and must have batted her eyelashes at him. When I turned back, the poor guy was stammering like mad.

Entering the room, we were confronted with a layout befitting its price tag. There were two, fairly large single beds, each with an attendant desk and lamp. Off to the side was a wardrobe for our clothes, as well as spare linen and pillows. On each bed was one of those little mints hotels tend to leave, the one nearest the door also had a copy of the Guard on it. Some light reading for later.

Around the corner was a door which led to an ornate bathroom with a large shower stocked with towels and enough hair care products to make even Rarity blush. The entirety of the far end wall was windows and screen doors. These gave us a magnificent view of the city below, with the castle being just visible around the mountainside. Through the screen doors, there was a small veranda with a couple deck chairs laid out, not all that different from the one around Luna’s observatory tower.

In short, this would certainly tide us over at any rate until early on Saturday, which was when we were due to check out.

The fashion show was not due to start until eight o’clock that evening. Rarity of course would have to be there around seven in order for her to finalise everything. That meant sorting out the models, the music, pretty much everything, although of course, most of it was planned in advance. Rarity did seem to get a little tetchy when in a situation like this. I could recall a few times where she had almost bitten somepony’s head off. Consequently we’d have an early dinner at around six.

At any rate, it was two o’clock now, so we had a fair bit of time to rest up before it would be time to head down. The hotel, naturally boasted a restaurant, which based on Rarity’s testimony, was something along the lines of a Michelin starred establishment. It was fancy enough to possess its own dress code, understandable in a way I suppose. The only high quality restaurant I had ever been to back on Earth was called ‘Le Coupe Chou’, translated to English the Cut Cabbage. Still it was a very nice place, nice enough for Obama to go there once or twice.

Hopefully, this place would be just as pleasant, even if they did not serve those rare beef steaklets. I was still sort of conflicted on the subject of meat. I knew pegasi occasionally ate fish, perhaps I could try that. I would ask Rainbow when I saw her next.

“Certainly looks like a nice place, Rarity,” I said, looking over the menu that was left for us in the room. “Been a while since ah’ve gone in for fine dinin’.”

“And so it should, Blade Star,” she replied. The restaurant was recommended by some of Equestria’s most influential critics. I’ve been wanting to dine there for absolutely ages!” Her eyes glazed for a moment. “If memory serves, even Fancy Pants occasionally dines at the establishment.”

Ah, yes. The key to acceptance in Canterlot high society. If you could get him to like you, you’d be fine. He seemed to approve of Rarity, so I doubted I’d have too much trouble. Unintentionally, I had networked connections in the city through Rarity. Still a small part of me disliked him for calling the girls ‘charmingly rustic’. At least he meant well and was a little more accepting than others. If worst came to the worst, I had long experience of burying my anger, I would not show up Rarity that was for sure.

We spent the intervening time in our room. Having settled in and unpacked everything. I took to reading the paper provided. There wasn’t much happening at the moment. A couple of scandals and rumours were flying about but not much else. The only real story of any note was a slight political shakeup in the Griffon government. Based on what I read, it was similar to a Cabinet reshuffle, only in the case of the Griffons a few heads had literally rolled. At half-past five Rarity asked me to throw on my waistcoat while she went to change into one of her own dresses. I concurred with AJ and Spike regarding privacy. Rarity seemed to have something of a nudity taboo, since she went into the bathroom to change, yet for the majority of the time, she didn’t wear any clothes to speak of.

“Mares,” I muttered to myself as I waited.

Chapter 36 - Dinner and a Show

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Dressed in our finest, we headed down to the restaurant, which was on one of the lower floors of the hotel. I had my, what by now had become a signature, waistcoat that Rarity had given to me when I had last been required to visit Canterlot. Personally, I had never cared all that much for suits, even at this point in my life; I viewed them as uncomfortable inconveniences to be avoided at all costs.

Rarity on the other hand, was completely at home in her attire. When she had finally finished preparing in the bathroom, the alabaster mare had emerged wearing one of her own unique creations. The best short description I can come up with was ‘torcher dame’. The dress was a deep blue and full length extending right down to her hooves and trailing slightly behind her. The hems were littered here and there with small blue and white diamonds, a feat only achievable in Equestria. Back on Earth, anyone wearing something like that would have had to put on brass knuckles any time they took it out. In addition to the diamonds around the hems, the neck lining also sported a number of slightly larger stones. The centre of the dress was cut in a fashion not dissimilar to a human one, with a long V-neck design. All of this true attention to the beautiful pendant that hung from her neck. That had to be the largest rock I’ve ever seen. Hay, it could probably pass for the Countess of Morcar’s Blue Carbuncle, in other words, it was the Heart of the Ocean. She’d kept her mane the way she always carried it, though with perhaps a few more products applied.

Short version: damn. I honestly can say, even with my arrival in this dimension or universe or plane of existence, I did not see myself attending a high society fashion event with a beautiful lady in tow.

Once again, the elevator chimed and the doors silently slid open revealing another ornate lobby. Signs were posted here and there for the restaurant which we followed. After a short walk we found ourselves at the doors to the establishment. Off to the side of the doors was a small desk, sitting at which, was a small well cut stallion. Glancing up at us, he quickly got to his hooves.

“Do you have a reservation for tonight?” he asked. Rarity had planned for everything regarding the show and the later ball tomorrow. But neither of us had expected the restaurant to be overly busy. Looking through the doors though, it looked as if almost every table was full. I turned to look at Rarity, the poor girl looked downtrodden. Luckily though, whilst she played the role of a high society mare, I could play more useful parts.

I walked up to the stallion at the desk. Briefly flaring my horn, I removed a few coins from my pocket. All told I had around seventy bits made up of various denominations, each one bore the face of an important figure in Equestrian history. I slid a five bit coin to him, smiling.

“Hurricane,” I said. The stallion smiled and shook his head. I hoofed over another five.

“Hurricane,” I repeated. Again, he shook his head. Go for broke, ten.

“Starswirl?” This time, the bugger smiled and nodded.

Opening the doors for us he passed us off to a waiter who took us to a table for two.

The place was very pleasant. Soft piano music could be heard coming from the grand across the room. It looked like we’d ‘reserved’ one of, if not the last table in the whole place. As we glanced over the ornate menus, I could feel Rarity’s gaze burrowing into me. To be fair, I had just got us into a high class restaurant by greasing the doorman with a few bits. Not exactly the behaviour of a gentlecolt.

Deciding not to prolong the inevitable further, I lowered the menu that I had been using as a shield for the past few minutes to face Rarity. The look on her face was something between fury and disappointment. Mainly fury though. I prepared for the worst as she began.

“Blade Star, I cannot believe what you just...” She was cut off as the waiter came to take our orders.

“And what might I get you two tonight?” he asked in an accent marked with a Prench undertone. Instantly, the previous expression on Rarity’s face vanished, replaced with a typical high society air.

“Oh, I think I shall have the pan Ratatouille, please.” She turned her gaze on me. “And you dear?” Her tone carried perhaps a hint of ice.

“Ah’ll go with the house soup if you don’t mind,” I answered. “And bring a bottle of red wine as well, please.” The waiter nodded and trotted away. Now the fun would begin. I looked Rarity in the eye. “Rarity ah’m really sorry about that earlier. Ah just didn’t want you to be disappointed.”

“Never mind that, Blade Star,” she replied. “I am more concerned with the effect such actions could have on you. All the connotations you’ve caused me to see in your accent and manner would be wiped away if it got out that you bribed a doorpony. And cheaply at that! Goodness knows what it would do to me by association.” She was right, not the best start when you act like a bit of a rogue in the aristocratic capital.

“Ah doubt it was noticed, Rarity,” I needed to calm her. “And ah assure you that it was a one-time thing. In future ah promise that if we come to a high class restaurant without reservations ah will not attempt to bribe my way in. Pinkie Promise.” I made the required motions.

As I said this, the waiter returned with the wine. While I may have grown up near Birmingham, I still knew how things were done in restaurants. The bottle had not been corked and appeared to have been well breathed before hoof. Rarity elected to taste it first. Taking a sip, her nose tinged red slightly under her white coat and she smiled. I thanked the waiter who then poured me a glass and left the bottle on the table for us.

What happened next can either be attributed to Rarity taking wine on an empty stomach, or my powers of charm are more effective than I thought. Let’s go with the former.

“Oh wonderful, darling,” she said, picking up our conversation where we had left off. “At last I can be at peace knowing that you won’t indulge in bribery of Canterlot eatery establishments again.” She smiled happily and slurred her words ever so slightly. Her joke however, indicated that, for now, I was off the hook. Still, probably best to make sure she waited for the food before having any more of the wine. Either it was unusually strong, or Rarity was a bit of a lightweight.

Rarity settled down and seemed to, for the moment at least, forgive me for my earlier transgression. But, as any male ought to know, a female forgiving you is probably just her storing the fault to be used in an argument later. Still, at least this meant we could enjoy a pleasant dinner together before heading to this fashion gig. Once again, the whole date like quality of this experience reared its ugly head. I quickly shot it down.

Rarity was a beautiful mare, there was no denying that, but frankly, she was not my type and was sort of taken by Spike. But then given my situation, who was my type? I had no objection to spending a pleasant evening with her, or with any of the others had they asked. I liked them and cared for them deeply, but I was still unsure about what would eventually happen. Referring to any bad HiE, the human inevitably puts their inhibitions aside and falls in love with, sleeps with and occasionally marries whichever mare has struck their fancy. Try doing that, and consequently explaining it, in a real small town social environment when your parents are a ten minute walk away from your own place.

Still, that was a matter to be settled at another time, one that didn’t require me to be on my best behaviour and move in social circles far beyond my skills and station. We both finished our main meals and set the cutlery, which was all but identical to its counterpart on Earth, on our cleared plates. The food had been of the highest calibre and I would certainly consider coming here again should I ever need to return to this city. The castle of course, I viewed as separate from Canterlot as a whole. It was occupied by two, occasionally three, princesses and a whole slew of guards. Canterlot proper, was occupied by similar guards and a vast slew of overbred snobs.

“Right, now what do you fancy for desert, Rarity?” I asked as she levitated that particular menu to before her snout. “I hear that the Concorde cake is highly recommended.” I might have picked that up in background conversation. Rarity thought for a moment, perhaps considering the ramifications of partaking in such a confection. But then, given the average sweet consumption for most ponies, excluding Pinkie Pie, a sweet tooth was not as debilitating as it would be on Earth.

“I might just try that,” she answered, moving the menu back to its original position on the table. “Although I had better be careful, as should you, Blade Star. We can’t risk damaging these now can we?” She gestured to her dress and my own waistcoat. One of the many reasons I prefer to avoid formal attire.

After desert and a shared pot of coffee, I, being the gentlecolt I am, picked up the tab and we prepared to go. An interesting thing to note on Equestrian social norms; tipping is not compulsory. In spite of Equestria being heavily influenced by and similar to the United States, I was neither scolded by Rarity, nor chased by the establishment’s staff for not doing so. It’s not as though I’m tight with a Bit, it’s just that I never really believed in it as a compulsory measure. The whole point of a tip was a reward for superior service, making it compulsory negated the effect. In any case, we headed out of the hotel and towards the large concert hall where the fashion show itself was to be held.

The place wasn’t hard to spot. The number of searchlights that were shining up into the sky could probably be seen from Ponyville. And naturally, the bright lights succeeded in polluting the sky sufficiently enough to make the many stars Luna placed all but invisible. Damn pro-Celestia ponies, always obsessed with their precious light. My ears twitched in irritation at the act and I quietly snorted in disgust.

In addition to the lights, huge banners were hung across the concert hall proclaiming it as the venue for this year’s Canterlot Fashion Show. And of course, there was the incredibly long queue extending from the front of the building. We of course, would not be in that queue. As Rarity was a designer who would be displaying her creations, and as I was her ‘plus one’, we both had access to the backstage areas. Both of us would be in one of the elevated boxes giving us a better view of the show and keeping the plebs away. Not that I’m being snobbish. Actually, it was the reverse; I was the plebeian keeping the snobs away.

Rarity and I briefly parted ways as we entered the huge hall. She headed off through a maze of back ways to reach the dressing rooms to perform a final check and speak with the various models. I on the other hoof, would go directly up to the box we had been given. I now of course sported a VIP badge around my neck to ensure I was not hassled by the on-site security. There were quite a lot of them, a fair few Royal Guards and what I assumed to be private security personnel too. Who knows, perhaps Equestria had its own version of Executive Outcomes.

Ascending the stairs with the other VIPs, the majority of whom were nobles carrying opera glasses, I was quickly directed to our box. Not that it was hard to find, each one was marked with its occupant’s names. But then, Celestia forbid that the nobility be required to think. The existence of such a group continues to surprise me. While Equestria may be an absolutist diarchy, it had the markings of a democratic state at the local level. I would have expected that such class divides would have withered away by now. Then again, they hadn’t in Britain.

Settling myself down in one of the extremely plush seats provided, I was quickly given a glass of champagne, or least what counted in Equestria as champagne, as any Frenchman will tell you, such a drink is only a sparkling white unless it has been produced in the proper region of France. Though I suppose we would always have Prance.

I placed the glass down on one of the small tables provided and looked out at the scene. The concert hall was a large vast expanse clearly suitable for large scale events from classical concerts, to plays and maybe even the odd rock concert. Of course the one notable exception to the place’s repertoire was the Hearth Warming Pageant which, for Canterlot, always took place at the palace. Looking right to the rear of the theatre, towering above all the others, there was a large ornate looking box, with the national banners hanging from them; the Royal Box. The princesses would not be attending tonight’s event but would be attending the subsequent reception on the morrow.

As the house lights came down, Rarity returned and settled herself taking a sip from her own glass of champagne. Her face showed a hint of nervousness, understandable, everypony who was anypony in the fashion world would be viewing her designs. A far cry from her store in Ponyville. I placed my hoof on hers as a reassuring gesture. And with that, the exhibition began.

Chapter 37 - Paperazzi

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The fashion show, as interesting as it was, did drag on for a fair while. Hoity Toity presided over things, announcing each line as it came. Rarity’s, whilst not the main event of the show, was nevertheless at the very least, one of the highlighted designs. Her winter themed designs looked far better than they had done when I had seen them in the shop. Of course, a great deal was added to the ensembles by the ambience of the display and the models themselves. Sweet Celestia, I’m starting to sound like I actually know what I’m on about.

With each set of designs, the designer was rewarded with a spotlight on their box. And this was one of the reasons Rarity had asked me to accompany her. When the spotlight turned to us, the ponies in attendance saw a highly successful mare, with a not too bad looking fellow accompanying her. In a city that is all but based on style over substance, I think I contributed to Rarity’s style rather well.

When the last ensemble had left the stage and the catwalk, there were of course the speeches to be made. This was more a social thing, mainly drawing from notable celebrities and other important figures in the fashion world. Rarity, for all her amazing skill and what I maintain to be deserved fame, was simply a designer. Only those who had effective dynasties in the fashion world were permitted to make speeches. Nevertheless, after getting over her brief case of butterflies and all the feigned embarrassment that accompanied the spotlight and applause, my companion for the evening seemed to have enjoyed herself immensely.

All that now remained was to exit through the red carpet, another apparently universal concept. We would make our way through the many reporters; get a few photographs taken by necessity and protocol, before catching a cab back to the hotel. Once we reached the cab, I could not foresee any problems. However, I have never been terribly good with crowds.

I guess you could put it down to spending a large portion of my life so far in the countryside. Sure, I had grown up not too far from a major city and had spent my early years in an urbanised town, but that was only until I was ten. I had started to notice it when I occasionally went back there with my father. The vast crowds made me feel uneasy, no matter where I looked, people were always walking at you, and you could never simply follow the crowd. I never had attacks or anything like that, but I could never feel comfortable in large groups. I was typically in a permanent state of unease.

This carried over into high school; I didn’t cope well with the huge numbers of kids. Consequently, I isolated myself, a foalish move in hindsight, and just tried to muddle through. Such behaviour caused me to catch the attention of the native bullies.

The trouble is, I need personal space, hence perhaps why I didn’t cope well with student accommodations either. On Sweet Apple Acres, I had my own large room to myself and if I so desired, I had literally acres of orchards and farmlands to wander in. I’m just no longer used to a busy, bustling city environment. I had a pretty good idea what taking Rarity down the red carpet, with hundreds of reporters, fans and, paparazzi photographers looking on, would do to me.

I have never frozen up in a situation like that, nor did I intend to. It would simply be a matter of breathing steadily, putting on a fake showbiz smile and walking her to the cab. Just put one hoof in front of the other as Fluttershy would put it. No matter what, I was not going to show Rarity, or myself up, certainly not before the media.

We both stood before the large double doors that exited the concert hall, outside the more important, or at least more famous of the guests were departing down the red carpet. Passing the menagerie of flashing cameras and incomprehensible shouted questions they boarded the Equestrian equivalent of a limousine. They were still carriages, just somewhat larger and more opulent. Most were pulled by four ponies due to the increased weight.

We stood with several of the other designers who had attended the show. For many of them, it was either their first or second time attending such an event. Rarity on the other hand had now attended the fashion show in Canterlot, in some capacity, no less than seven times. She certainly did stand out as a proverbial big fish in a small pond. Whilst the other mares, and occasional stallion, chatted excitedly about possibly meeting important figures in the fashion world as well as this event possibly being their ‘big break’, Rarity remained fairly quiet, looking on with a hint of nostalgia.

“Fond memories?” I asked her. Rarity turned to look at me still smiling with content.

“Just remembering what it was like when it was my turn, darling,” she replied. “It makes me realise how far I’ve come since I set up a small little shop in an out of the way town. Who knows, perhaps before long I will get my ‘big break’.”

“Would you really want that though?” I asked hesitantly. “Wouldn’t it mean having to expand your business and move here?” Rarity tittered and shook her head.

“Celestia, no, darling. My business has grown significantly since I originally began and I haven’t felt the need to disappear on you yet have I? No, it would mean more work, but I could never leave Ponyville and everypony. Besides, whilst I may enjoy occasionally visiting Canterlot, I don’t think I could ever adjust to the company here.”

As we talked, we both picked up on a few of the conversations going on around us. To sum up the many conversations, a great deal of backstabbing was going on, with more than a few ponies being thrown under the bus by their supposed friends.

“Ah see what you mean, Rarity,” I said after listening for a while.

Just then, the large double doors again opened out for us to take our leave. In the place of the limos, a number of cabs were lined up along the street. Each one was pre-arranged by the event organisers to take us back to our various hotels. Each designer would head down the red carpet with their ‘plus one’, have a few shots taken by the photographers, answer a couple of questions and then head off. At least, that was the plan.

As soon as the pair of us stepped through those doors our senses came under a fantastic assault. Dozens of shouted questions made it impossible to talk; I could barely hear my own thoughts, never mind another pony’s speech. Our eyes were constantly flash blinded as a variety of camera bulbs went off again and again. It was like having flashbang grenades go off in your face. And to top it all off, the many lights that illuminated the area cooked us as we walked. In short, it was like walking through an assault by Special Forces.

I quickly found that Rarity had latched herself onto my foreleg as we began. I was just as glad as her that there were two of us. I certainly couldn’t have coped walking through this nonsense on my own. I thanked my lucky stars that it was a straight shot to the rickshaw waiting for us at the far end, I was pretty much almost blinded, and of course I couldn’t do anything to compensate, lest I look like an absolute foal.

I tried to focus as did Rarity I guess, and pressed on. I could make out the occasional shouted question from somepony in the assembled press. Though why they should ask any questions when it was impossible for anypony to be heard, never mind understood, was beyond me.

My own slight fear of crowds reared its ugly head as we walked too. The way in which we effectively had to walk down a thin tunnel of space, surrounded on all side by leaches in equine bodies didn’t do much for my constitution. Nevertheless, I did my best to force it down and ignore the sweat building on my forehead. As far as I could tell, I don’t think anypony thought anything was amiss.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, we reached the waiting carriage. Rarity now turned around, as did I, to address the assembled reporters and take questions. They came thick and fast, though at least they remained on topic and tasteful, so I guess they aren’t as bad as the Western press on Earth. This line of thought lasted right up until this one pony got right up in my face, literally hovering in front of me.

“Smile for the camera!” He semi shouted as he proceeded to flash blind us.

The offending pony was a pegasus of a fairly slight build, with a light blue coat, slightly darker than RD’s and a frankly ridiculous dark green mane. He’d got so much gel in it that it was probably more gel than actual hair. His whole personality just said scumbag. I was beginning to suspect that Equestria did have paparazzi. This was quickly confirmed when he began to ask questions.

For want of a better word, the horseapples that came out of this bugger’s mouth were sufficient to make an entire Cornish harbour blush in embarrassment. They certainly had nothing to do with fashion. Hay, an alarming number pertained to Rarity’s personal life, stuff that you just don’t ask somepony, particularly a lady. I didn’t think, I just acted.

The foul mouthed pegasus went flying down the red carpet, though not through the use of his wings. Plus, I’d like to bet that he’ll have a black eye when he wakes up tomorrow. Rarity had frozen up, her face a picture of shock and outrage, since he began with the obscene questions, so she didn’t put up much of a fight when I manhandled her into the carriage, while shaking my left hoof to get the feeling back.

The pegasus however, in spite of my fairly solid blow, got back up and again attempted to pester us. Luckily this time, a couple of the Royal Guard, who were providing security for the event quickly seized him. He had no press badge on him as all the others did, so I guessed that his presence here wasn’t entirely approved.

“Thank you, gentlecolts,” I called over the now increased cacophony of noise. “Much obliged.” The two guards waved their own thanks in return and hauled the paparazzi away from my view. I then hoped in the carriage myself and instructed the driver to take us back to the Equestrian Imperial, offering an extra ten bits if he got us there in ten minutes. I’d rather not be in a rickshaw when Rarity came to her senses.

Rarity remained in her state, semi-dazed for the whole trip back. I suppose the dual shock of that insulting little Pegasus and then my punching him squarely on the jaw would be a little overwhelming. Especially as it all happened in front of several dozen reporters and photographers.

Our carriage continued on its way through the now darker streets of Canterlot, the roadway only lit by a few street lamps here and there. Away from the hustle and bustle of fashion and show business the night was allowed to prevail with the moon casting its usual soft glow onto the great city.

Finally, we pulled up at the Equestrian Imperial. Checking the clock above the main entrance, I saw that the driver had indeed been prompt in getting us back here. Thus I gave him the extra ten Bits on top of the fare as I promised. Opening the carriage door on Rarity’s side, I helped her down to the street. Then, taking her by the foreleg, I led her inside the hotel.

The incident on the red carpet had by no means completely ruined Rarity’s view of the show, and I doubted it would have much, if any, impact on the reception tomorrow. However, the whole business had thrown the mare off somewhat, even on her previous visits, I could not recall her being hassled in such a way. After a brief wait, we headed into the elevator which would take us up to our room. It was at this point, that Rarity once again became lucid.

“That just happened, didn’t it?” she said. Her speech was half a statement and half a question.

“Yep,” I replied, not really sure of what I was going to say. Given her reaction to my earlier transgressions though, I was certain how Rarity would react. Or at least I thought I was.

I was prepared for her to begin yelling at me for ruining her evening, for behaving in such an uncouth manner, and doing it all in front of some of the most important ponies in the world of fashion. None of this came though. Instead, I suddenly found the fashionista embracing me in a hug. Now I was confused.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, darling!” she said as she continued to embrace me.

“Err, Rarity?” Just when you think you’ve got a dame figured out, they go and throw a curve ball.

“I can’t thank you enough for saving me back there!” she went on. Eventually, she stopped hugging me and looked me in the eye.

“Aren’t you mad at me for all that though?” I asked stupidly. A moment later my brain chimed in with the advice to shut up and accept the thanks. Nevertheless, I went on. “Ah thought, you’d be ticked at such ‘uncouth behaviour’. Ah mean, all those ponies saw what ah did to that feller.”

“No, Blade Star, that was no petty bar brawl, you were defending me from that vile urchin. If anything, all those ponies will see you as quite the upstanding gentlecolt. Though I must say, I didn’t expect you to send him so far backward.” She then proceeded to titter behind her hoof. I was off the hook, and possibly forgiven for my earlier misdemeanour at the restaurant.

With that, the elevator chimed and the doors slid open silently. We walked out into the hallway and quickly found our room. Retrieving the key from her saddlebags, Rarity opened the door and headed inside, with me following. Closing the door behind me with my magic, I saw Rarity was already lying down on her bed, clearly tired from the events of the evening.

“Well, Blade Star, you sure know how to show a mare a good time. I’m certainly looking forward to the reception tomorrow.” She said as she looked up at the ceiling. I laughed quietly in response, not entirely sure if she was being sincere or not.

“What time is that reception at anyway?” I asked as I removed my waistcoat. “Ah thought ah might do a couple things in the city tomorrow. Strong Shield suggested Ah drop by the Officers Club while ah’m here. And maybe you could do a bit around the shops.”

“The reception should be around five I’d say,” Rarity replied, thinking. “And I certainly could use the chance to get some shopping done, pick up a few materials for a few ponies. So, yes, I don’t see why we cannot do that.” She nodded to herself before getting up off the bed again. “Right, I had better change out of this, darling. Back in a minute.” And with that, she headed into the bathroom to change.

I was again sitting out on the room’s balcony enjoying the night sky. I’d been there since Rarity had gone to change out of her dress. As far as I knew, she was now in her bed, snoring peacefully, with her sleep aid over her eyes.

The events of the evening had caught up with me after she had dropped off and I just felt drained at this point. Busy crowds always did that to me, requiring me to relax for a while before trying to get some sleep. I was currently sitting on one of the deck chairs looking out over the city and the beautiful sky, a glass in my magic. It had been a long day, and I figured that I’d earned it. On the table next to me sat the bottle of Appleoosian Whiskey I’d taken from the minibar and where my current drink came from. I may not drink much with others, but I occasionally had a couple glasses to myself. Still, I knew my limits and wasn’t about to pour a third, plus the ice was melting anyway.

Tomorrow would be busy enough with the reception, so I resolved to simply take it easy at the Officers Club for a few hours. Assuming Strong Shield could get me in that was. That would leave me prepared for the irritation that was called social interaction. On the other hand, I would be a pretty poor Brony if I did not accept the fundamental teaching of MLP; friendship was magic after all. Draining my glass, I replaced the top on the bottle and got up, quickly bidding Luna a goodnight before heading inside.

Interlude 4 - Just Another Day at the Office

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Note: This chapter is written from the perspective of Blade Star's father.

See the Author's Notes for details of a Q&A contest.

“You know that’s the second time that has happened to me, your highness,” I said as we stood outside the throne room, surrounded by guards.

“I think that’s number four hundred and seventy six for me, Roger,” the solar princess replied. “Though I’ve never seen one act with such abandon before or with such unusual means.”

The pair of us, along with anyone else who happened to be in Day Court at the time were surrounded by guards while others thoroughly checked the throne room we had been ushered out of. It was certainly an odd occurrence, though not an unexpected one for an authority figure like Princess Celestia.

I had been at my usual post in Day Court offering my advice and counsel when asked by the princess, and occasionally chipping in with hints I saw as useful. This was pretty much my average work day now, and I had fallen in to a general pattern. Said pattern had been broken by one of the strangest petitioners I have yet to come across.

The pony in question was of the earth type, lacking wings or horns; I personally always found them easier to talk to than the other two groups, not that I have anything against unicorns or pegasi. This earth pony however, had entered Day Court carrying a package. This was not unusual in itself; occasionally grateful subjects would call on the court to give thanks for whatever royal aid Celestia had provided them with. She always accepted them with an air of mild embarrassment, and of course, they were all heavily screened by the Royal Guard.

This time though, the look on the chap’s face was anything but thankful. In fact he looked fighting mad as he carried his parcel up to the dais. I suspected something was amiss and so did the guards, for they all noticeably tensed at the newcomer’s approach. Stopping at the steps, he opened the large square box that sat upon his back. It contained a large pie and for a moment we all relaxed.

All of a sudden though, the pie became airborne as he hurled it at her. I immediately ducked to avoid the culinary projectile, while the guards sprang into action. One took a dive across Celestia’s body taking the object full in the gut. The other three surrounding the throne leapt onto the offender and pinned him to the ground with a combination of magic and brute force. Apparently, ever since an incident a couple years ago when Canterlot was attacked by another species, the guard had been heavily revised in terms of procedures and personnel, they were now much more competent in protecting their princess. Not that she really needed it in this case.

The earth pony continued to struggle with the guards, his superior strength actually allowing him to briefly break free of their grasp, causing a small fight to erupt in the Throne Room. This resulted in another group of guards quickly surrounding both myself and the princess and getting us out of harm’s way. After standing outside for about five minutes, the guards emerged with the nutter in restraints. However, the damage from the fight was quite severe, with several of the ornate columns damaged. Plus, the incident had kicked the hawkish Royal Guard into high gear and they began to comb the entire castle in case the pony had done anything else.

Long story short, court was closed early today. I figured that this would happen occasionally with such a high profile figure as the princess, it had happened to a fair few British politicians, and then of course there was Bush’s encounter with a shoe. Still though the sheer number of times Celestia had been bothered in such a manner surprised me.

“Well, it doesn’t look like we’re going to be doing anything more today. I certainly won’t mind the temporary relief from court,” she said.

“It has been a long day I suppose,” I replied. I looked to a nearby clock, twenty to twelve. If I hurried I could catch the midday train home and surprise she who must be obeyed. “I might as well head down to the station and catch the train home.” Celestia though had other ideas.

“If I remember correctly Roger, your son in here today isn’t he?” That’s right he was, he’d gone with Rarity, I think, for some fashion show. That had me a little worried. “Perhaps you should go and drop in on him. I think he’s staying at the Equestrian Imperial Hotel, room 242.” Of course, she would just happen to know that. It couldn’t hurt at any rate.

“I might just do that, your highness.” I briefly bowed. “Good day then.”

I never really cared much for paying for cabs in the city, always damned expensive, and fair few would take you for a bit more of a ride than you bargained for. As such, I walked the journey to the hotel Celestia had directed me to. It was certainly a fancy place to be staying at. Perhaps my boy was at last moving up in the world, or the girl he was with was paying for him.

I still got the odd stare as I walked down from the castle to the hotel. These richer snobs aren’t the most accepting bunch. Hell, when Celestia announced to the court that I was to be taken on as a permanent advisor, there was an uproar equivalent to Prime Minister’s Questions, with a great deal of shouting and hoofs being banged on desks and floors. Luckily, unlike PMQs, as soon as Celestia called for order, the complaints ceased. That was certainly one form of Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition.

Now though, I’d been working in the court long enough to become a recognised face. While not everyone, or rather everypony approved of my presence I was tolerated by the nobility who were cowed by Celestia’s authority. That was in the palace however, Canterlot itself was a whole different ball game with numerous social circles each with its own agenda. I typically got one of two reactions, if I got a reaction beyond the baffled stare. Either they would turn their noses up at me, as much as a four foot tall quadruped can to a six foot tall human, or they would greet me enthusiastically and invite me to some formal event as a means of getting one up over their opponents.

Still, that was not to say that I had no friends aside from Celestia. In addition to her, I would occasionally chat with her younger sister Luna, and I got on quite well with most of the guards. They now actually offered me protection rather than just the princess, and when they were off duty and not required to keep a stern face in absolute silence they were typically quite pleasant to talk to. And of course there were a few nobles I got on with, Fancy Pants, now there’s a fantastic name, was a decent enough fellow. He sort of reminded me of Lord David Davis, who I’d met at the occasional DDH hunt. And of course, always with him was his dolly bird, Fleur De Lis. While I know little about ponies, even I can tell that she’s supposed to be a looker.

Walking into the lobby, I quickly headed for the front desk to see if he was in. If not, then I could at least leave a message for him to come see me when he got back. I’d been in hotels like this on a few occasions, though never to stay at. I’d usually find myself at a place like this for a meeting of the Law Society. Everything was pretty much the same, aside from the fact that there were ponies in the place of humans. I went to speak to the receptionist, tapping on the desk to get her attention.

“Excuse me, do you know if a Mr. Blade Star is staying here at the moment?” I still wasn’t really comfortable using my son’s assumed name. Besides, ‘Bones’ suited him far more in my opinion; he could be just as stubborn. The mare looked over the guestbook in front of her quickly scanning each page before turning to the next.

“Ah, here we are,” she muttered under her breath. “Yes sir, we do have a pony by that name staying here at present, though I believe he is currently out at the moment.” Damn, looks like I missed him.

“You wouldn’t happen to have any idea as to where he went do you?” I asked hopefully. Receptionists and secretaries are notorious for listening in on business which isn’t their own. She thought for a moment.

“I believe I heard something about the Officers Club, sir. I think he was going to meet a friend there.” Ah, probably that vet he met in his magic lessons. My boy’s always had a fair bit of admiration of soldiers, though he always insisted that he didn’t want to be one himself. “If I remember correctly, it’s down in the entertainment district just a ways from Steers bar.” I had to choke a laugh down.

“Thank you,” I replied. “Just in case I miss him could you take a message for me?” She nodded. “Just tell him his dad stopped by.” She raised an eyebrow at me. It took a moment for me to understand her confusion. Eventually though, I realised; I was a human and he was a pony, she was probably wondering how. If he'd come out that way I'd be worried too. "Oh, err, I'm his step-father," I lied. It was easier than explaining why my son was now a four foot tall unicorn pony. With that, she nodded and took the message down for me, while I set off for the Officers Club.

Working my way downhill from the more opulent districts, I quickly found the general area of the entertainment district. The place was filled with clubs, bars and all sorts of establishments the locals presumably used for the purpose of having a good time. I quickly came upon Steers, looked like a nice little place, I couldn’t help but whistle a certain little tune as I passed. Maybe I might stop there sometime, if I get a chance, it had been a while since I’d been to a bar like that.

Following the road further on, I came upon another building, perhaps slightly larger than Steers. Like that bar, it was also one of those basement jobs, with a small flight of steps leading to its entrance. Unlike other establishments though, the door had no windows, with one of those small sliding peep holes at eye level. Beneath that was a sign that proclaimed ‘Officers of the Royal Guard and Invited Guests Only’. That would have deterred most, but hell, if worst came to worst, I could show my court position, which ought to get me somewhere.

I walked down the stairs to the door and knocked twice. The peep hole immediately slid open to reveal a pair of pony eyes. I swear those things are too big for their heads, it makes them easy as pie to read. The eyes regarded me suspiciously.

“You don’t look like a guard to me,” the owner of the eyes said in a deep voice. “Can’t you read the sign? Officers only.”

“I’m merely looking for some...” I caught myself. “Somepony. Blade Star, he might be with a Captain Strong Shield I think.” The eyes continued to regard me with a distrustful air.

“Wait here,” the voice said at length. The peep hole then slid shut.

Moments later the entire door opened revealing a pegasus in full guard armour. After a curt command to follow, I entered into the club.

It was mainly what I expected, a bar, tables, there was even a small band on the nearby stage getting ready to play. In addition there were a couple tables of the other variety in several partially walled in sections, and it was here that I was being led. I was surprised that my son had even considered going to an establishment like this, he’d never been one to go to bars much. He certainly hadn’t spent much time out when he was at university. I would have expected that the relatively large number of patrons, the fairly loud music as well as the drinking would have put him off.

This brought me to another question; what on earth were these ponies doing drinking at half past twelve in the afternoon. Okay it was a Friday but still, a bit early. If I hadn’t just come in here from midday Canterlot, I would have assumed that it was getting on for nine o’clock at night.

The doorman continued to lead me past tables; I recognised a few faces here and there, mainly those who came on shift with the ending of Day Court. Perhaps due to their semi-nocturnal nature this was their Friday night. Eventually, I was led to one of the Poker tables where a game was in progress. It was with a mixture of surprise and alarm that I beheld my son sitting there with cards in his hand, hoof, and a fairly large stack of chips placed next to him. If I had known he knew how to play I’d have taken him with me to some of the firm’s parties. He evidently spotted me out of the corner of his eye, for his suddenly started and looked up.

“Dad? What are you doing here?” he exclaimed. “And how did you get past the doorpony?” The surrounding guards grinned a little at the interruption and the slight embarrassment caused to my son by my arrival.

“Court was shut down early; some whacko threw a pie at the princess. Hotel staff said you might be here,” I replied. He was about to reply when another stallion, who sported an eye patch over his left eye spoke up.

“Somepony threw a pie at the princess?” he asked, alarmed. “Is she alright?” This looked like the fellow that my son had fallen in with back in Ponyville.

“Of course, you fellers caught and arrested the guy, no trouble,” I answered. The stallion turned to my son.

“See Rookie, this is why I need to stay in the academy. If I went back into the guard proper they’d be half trained rent-a-guards not up to standards, he’d have probably hit her too. Still I’m surprised they didn’t pick him out before he acted. Celestia knows I’ve taught ‘em enough about situational awareness.”

“Yeah, literally too in this case,” my son replied, prompting another round of laughter at the other stallion’s expense. “C’mon Strong Shield let’s have the River.” Strong Shield was evidently the current dealer; he placed a fifth card on the table for all to see, a jack. The betting then went round, one pony dropped out, muttering a curse under his breath, while the rest all held out, including my son. There were only three players still in it.

After the last pony raised, Strong Shield also dropped out commenting that it was getting too rich for him. But my son kept bidding. At last though, the other pony called, presenting two threes to go with the current one on the table. The assembled players began to offer their commiserations to my son, however, he continued to smile.

“Ah think not, Swift Wing, my boy.” He laid his own cards out, another three and a jack to go with the existing one. “Full house.” And with that, he claimed the pot amidst cheering from the others. All of a sudden though, Strong Shield looked at the nearby clock and then began to hurriedly whisper in my son’s ear. I heard the word ‘entertainment’. His eyes immediately went wide in fear. Very quickly, he cashed his winnings and got up from the table.

“Right, come on Dad,” he said quickly, "Let’s head out to lunch, my treat.” Something seemed off.

“Oh, I don’t want to interrupt your game, you seem to be doing pretty well.” I replied. “Besides, I’m not that hungry.” I was quickly overruled however, as he again insisted we go and began to steadily nudge me toward the door. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Strong Shield gesturing quickly to him at the clock and urging him to hurry along. Just as we exited the club, I could hear music start up accompanied by what sounded like wolf whistles. As I turned around to look at my son, who was still using his horn to force me along, I could see sweat on his forehead.

“Something going on in there?” I asked innocently.

“No! No, nothing’s going on there! Ah just wanted to get some lunch with you! That’s what fathers and sons do right? They go and chat over lunch!” The sweating was now accompanied by a strong blush. You didn’t have to be a genius to work out what was going on in Canterlot’s Officer’s Club right about now.

Chapter 38 - Preparation

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Right, SITREP. My father has evidently spent too much time in proximity to Celestia, for he has picked up her talent for trolling. I’d had to very rapidly bug out of the club shortly after he’d turned up. It was lucky that Strong Shield had kept an eye on the time, I certainly hadn’t. If it weren’t for him, I would have been there when the ‘entertainment’ arrived. With my dad standing next to me. I was just about able to get him out of the club in time, though he was almost certainly on to me. His grinning and light jibs made that abundantly clear.

So, with that done, I of course had to take him out to lunch, though part of me demanded I literally take him out for his extremely untimely interruption. We went to one of the speciality restaurants in the tourist section of the city. The establishment was not perfect, but it catered to visiting griffons, and as such it served meat. I was surprised my dad hadn’t found this place on his own already.

Anyway, I treated him to a steak dinner to buy him off a bit. It certainly brought my conflicting physiology to a head. The part of me that was human craved the well-cooked eight ounce steak that he was eating. My pony half on the other hand, had to work hard not to breathe in the smell for fear that it would cause me to lose my lunch. The smell was both alluring and revolting at the same time. Why can’t I just make up my mind? It must be possible for me to eat meat in some way; I’ve heard that horses can be taught to eat meats in harsher environments. Hay, King Sombra, if his teeth were any indication, was no herbivore, nor was Nightmare Moon according to legend. Again, I reminded myself to talk to Rainbow Dash about eating fish when I got back to Ponyville.

After lunch, Dad said he would head down to the train station and go back. Apparently court was to be suspended for the entirety of the day, and might possibly have a knock on effect on Night Court too. And all for a pie. Still, the last time they let something sweet and innocent looking into the castle it had almost ended very badly.

I decided not to head back to the Officers Club, if just to avoid the impending ribbing that I would get from the guys there. It certainly was a nice place though. In spite of its size it had a very honkytonk feel to it. The bar was decent with a good range; the food wasn’t half bad either. Strong Shield joked that it was certainly better than the rations he made the new recruits eat during training. I’d made a few friends there too. Sergeant Swift Wing, who I’d managed to almost take to the cleaners, was a Thestral in the Lunar Guard, actually a part of the Equestrian version of a POTUS team. Corporal Buttercup on the other hand, in spite of his name, was a massive, and frankly, badass looking Solar guard who acted as a bailiff in Day Court, though only when criminal cases were heard. The rest of the time, he was on the gates to the palace. Finally, there was Major Hartwin, a Griffon in the officer exchange program. He was actually a member of the Iron Hawks, the Griffons’ airborne paramilitary group, but he had been briefly seconded to the Royal Guard as a way of maintaining relations, a counterpart from Equestria had been sent to the Griffon Kingdom.

After Strong Shield let me into the club, I was quickly introduced and made to feel at home. So, when they asked me to join in a game of Dodge Junction Hold ’em, how could I refuse? I wasn’t too bad, I’d picked up a few tricks at university and the ponies large eyes made it easier to read them, though that was a double edged sword, and I had to be more guarded than usual. And of course, I remembered the key rule in any card game; if you can’t spot the sucker at the table, it’s you.

By now it was getting on for three o’clock, the reception would be in a couple of hours, so I began to head back to the hotel room. I’d certainly sort of miss being here when me and Rarity headed back to Ponyville, though I did miss all my friends and family there. I found myself missing the Apple family keenly and Sweet Apple Acres itself. Of course I missed my family too, particularly Lizzie. Regardless of what had happened, I was still her big brother. Even if she was now a good foot taller than me standing up.

I crossed the road to the hotel, Canterlot did not have that much traffic typically. The small winding streets made it difficult to manoeuvre large carriages, particularly when trying to turn around. According to Strong Shield though, this had also been an advantage in military terms, as a number of guards had successfully managed to barricade several areas of the city, including the concert hall, where an emergency CP had been set up. It was there that he had entered into contact with the enemy. Mind you, he still had not told me how he came by his injury.

I entered the by now familiar hotel lobby, and rode the lift up to the correct floor. Fishing out my room key, I headed in to find Rarity setting shopping bags down on her bed. Evidently she had just arrived back as well.

“Hey, Rarity,” I said. Instantly, Rarity squeaked in surprise and moved to conceal one of the shopping bags with her under the bed.

“Darling, don’t do that!” she exclaimed jokingly as she got her breath back. “I nearly leapt out of my skin.” I smiled awkwardly.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to. What was that anyway?” I replied, gesturing to the bag now stashed under the bed.

“Never you mind, Blade Star,” she answered, prodding my chest with a hoof. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Perhaps she’d got something for me or somepony else while she was out. “Anyway, we’d better start thinking about getting ready for the ball.” Again I smiled, though this time with a more relaxed air.

“Alright Rarity. Ah’ll just take a quick shower then ah’ll get dressed. Alright?” I moved to grab my waistcoat, but Rarity snatched it up with her own magic.

“Oh, no, no, no, no, darling. This is far too plain to attend a formal ball in. But never fear, I was able to temporarily acquire a far more fitting piece for you." She then levitated what looked like a dry cleaning bag over to me. Opening it, I found a full on tuxedo, minus the bottom half of course. And the shoes. And the socks. In fact, it was really just a shirt and jacket with a bow tie. But hay, pony fashions. I quickly placed the new attire on one of the clothes hooks in the room, and then headed into the bathroom to wash.

I had never really cared much for showers back on Earth. When I was about five years old, I had fallen into a hot bath and been badly scalded, leaving me with several scars. While this had not caused me to develop aquaphobia, it had left me with a strong distrust of showers. Why showers I have no idea, the event had nothing to do with showers, and logically I ought to be more inclined to fear baths instead. But that was how things were. Perhaps it was the subconscious concern I had over controlling the pressure. We’ve all done it, set the temperature too cold or too hot and frantically flailed about to turn off the system, or possibly even hoped out of the shower completely. In my case though, the fear of such an occurrence had left me unwilling to use showers unless absolutely necessary. Unfortunately though, in this case, it was necessary, as there was no bath in the hotel room, an odd state of affairs given the otherwise opulent design of the Equestrian Imperial.

This got me thinking, if this body, that is to say, my current form, was simply a version of my OC, then I ought not to have any scars. They had never truly bothered me, but it would be nice to know if they were there or not. I began to root around through my coat, attempting to translate the positions from my human form to my equine one. Sure enough, I found a small patch of unusually smooth skin on my right foreleg, next to it was a familiar criss cross pattern from one of the bandages, which had partially moulded some of the skin. And of my right side, just before my hind leg, there was another, much larger scar, just as there always had been. Strangely though, this gave me some happiness. It meant that I had retained some of my former self. The changes in physiology, had led to me feel that I might have been losing my humanity, and consequently myself, following my transformation. That helped lay those to rest.

I realised that I had been pondering for a good ten minutes, when I was supposed to be showering and preparing myself for the ball. Using a hoof, I opened the shower door and stepped in. I felt the slight twinge of fear, but it was by no means debilitating, and I liked to think I was no coward. I was certainly not going to be intimidated by a load of equine installed plumbing.

Stepping inside I was confronted with the ultimate intelligence test. They say you are only smart until you try to turn on someone else’s shower. And I can assure you this is the case. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out how everything worked before I managed to get the system working.

Even with my slight fear, I won’t deny that showers are enjoyable, but I was more focused on the utility of the device. I never was one of those people to enjoy sensory experience after all. I quickly worked to clean off my coat again, since my painful time at the spa, my coat had begun to lose a little of its shine. Luckily of course, that could be quickly fixed with a bit of shampoo and conditioner. Sweet Celestia, I’m starting to get too used to unnecessary grooming products aren’t I?

With the showering done, I stepped out, soaking wet, and quickly levitated a towel to dry myself off. With that sorted, I quickly grabbed a comb and set my mane right. While a mane is not too dissimilar to normal hair, caring for a tail is a bit trickier. It is certainly more painful to comb as each snag I hit brought a small shot of pain up my tail. Nevertheless, by the time, I was done I looked the part. All that remained now was the tux. So I stepped out, leaving the bathroom to Rarity and prepared to get dressed.

I took my time, both due to the fact that Rarity would undoubtedly be ‘getting ready’ for at least another hour, and of course the tux wasn’t mine. I’m fairly sure Rarity would want her deposit back. Judging by the quality of the material and the fairly ornate design, this tux was worth a pretty penny.

I slipped on the white collared shirt first of all. It wasn’t as bad as I had expected. In the past, I usually only ever wore a suit to attend either a funeral or the odd wedding. That meant that the suits would be new, with stiff collars and generally uncomfortable all over. However, this one wasn’t too bad to wear so far. The collar didn’t constrict me too badly and the sleeves were just the right length. Evidently Rarity had gone to great lengths to ensure I had attire of the highest calibre. Next there was the jacket, a dark black affair lined with a deep red silk on the inside. After applying cuff links to the shirt (which can only be done with unicorn magic if you ask me), I slipped into the jacket. Again, it fitted like a glove.

All that remained now was the bow tie, after all to quote a certain clock repair pony back in Ponyville ‘bow ties are cool’. This one was the genuine article. I was used to tying a typical tie, but any bow ties I had worn, the last one being a university department Christmas party several years ago, had been clip on. Thus, I hadn’t the faintest idea how to tie it, and the four step diagram that I found in the dry cleaning bag didn’t help either. And of course, I had to do the whole thing with magic.

Still, aside from that, I was ready to go, so I continued in my vain attempts to tie the bow tie off in a way that looked vaguely presentable. Luckily though, help was at hand, or hoof, as Rarity emerged dressed in her wonderful outfit as she had been the night before. She looked at me, still struggling with the tie and rolled her eyes.

“Honestly, darling, how old are you now?” she asked jokingly.

“Hey, Ah’m used to clip on ties, Rarity. Besides, these instructions aren’t worth a damn,” I replied passing the useless instructions to her. She tittered at my misfortune.

“Alright, let’s get you sorted then.” My own dark blue aura was replaced by her much lighter one as she took the tie from me. The now seemingly sentient fabric wrapped itself around my collar, tugged itself taught twice and then proceeded to tie itself before my eyes. When her aura faded, Rarity turned me toward the nearby mirror. I beheld a rather handsome looking fellow in a dashing suit with a gorgeous mare standing next to him.

“Well, Ah guess Ah don’t look too bad do Ah?” I said as I examined myself in the mirror.

“Indeed, Blade Star,” Rarity replied. “You are quite the handsome stallion after a good wash and manecut.” I couldn’t help but blush at that remark. I still hadn’t removed the connotations the word ‘stallion’ had in the vocabulary of human females. I quickly fought down my rising blush, which was undoubtedly noticed by Rarity, and slipped into the part I would be required to play this evening.

“Now, Miss Rarity. Shall we go?” I offered the crook of my foreleg to her and we departed.

We again rode down in the lift to the hotel lobby. Whilst I had been showering, Rarity had asked the front desk to arrange for a cab to take us up to the castle. The mare sitting at the desk informed us that the cabbie was already waiting outside for us. Heading out we found a dogcart pulled up and waiting. A ‘reserved’ sign hung from its side. After ensuring that we were the correct customers, the stallion reconnected himself to the front. I on the other hoof, being the gentlecolt I am, helped Rarity climb into the carriage before getting in myself. The driver then set off at a steady trot. We would arrive bang on time at the castle and would be led by the guards to the castle’s ornate ballroom. This was a rare opportunity, the only other time the room was in use, was either during special events in the castle, or during the Grand Galloping Gala. Needless to say, Rarity could not wait. And in all honesty, I was looking forward to it as well.

Chapter 39 - The Reception - Part 1

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Our dogcart, by the time it neared the castle, was caught up in a long queue of carriages of all shapes and sizes. Unlike the fashion show itself, we would have to queue like everypony else to reach the castle entrance. We had been sitting in the queue for a few minutes, when we at last passed through the castle gates, marking the border between the city of Canterlot, and the castle itself, which was the property of the diarchy.

“Ah’d have figured comin’ to Equestria would’ve meant leaving traffic jams behind,” I complained as we sat in the slow moving queue. All that was missing from the scene was some exhaust fumes, the honk of car horns and a few shouted expletives.

“Oh, cheer up, Blade Star,” Rarity replied, “We’re through the castle gates now. We’ll be there in a minute or two. Each carriage has to unload its passengers, and you know how fussy the nobles can be.” I nodded.

“True enough.” Looking further up the queue, I could just make out the entrance to the castle. I could also see a carriage from which a couple of nobles were being helped out. Not only was there a step ladder to ease getting out of the carriage, but two castle servants, presumably hoofponies, were also helping the pair alight. It wouldn’t be so bad, if the carriage in question wasn’t barely a foot off the ground.

Eventually though, we at last reached the castle gates. Taking up my role for the evening again, I leapt down from the carriage, much to the surprise of the hoofponies, and personally helped Rarity down. The dogcart then pulled away to allow the next one forward, whilst we followed the growing crowd of ponies into the castle itself.

Canterlot Castle was just as opulent as it had been on my last visit. Some commented that it’s long white marble hallways made it seem cold and empty at times. That certainly wasn’t the case tonight. The overhead chandeliers cast a bright light onto everything in the castle and the whole place seemed to come alive as more and more ponies entered. We were all steadily making our way to the castle ballroom, where the reception was to be held.

Up front the guards led the group at a steady pace up to the doors of the ballroom. The slightly slow progress gave everypony a chance to chat and gossip with his or her fellow travellers. Amidst the nobles, there was a fairly large smattering of more tolerable ponies. Many were like Rarity, in the fashion business, but operating either away from the more lucrative business opportunities, or they had managed to resist the temptation to become insufferable troglodytes.

Finally, we reached the doors to the ballroom, and standing there, with her typical crown, regalia and gentle, motherly smile, was Princess Celestia. Like a minister at the conclusion of a church service, she would give her greetings to everypony who passed through. I marvelled at the fact that she appeared to know everypony by name. This reception was a huge event, with ponies from all over Equestria and beyond attending. Even as an alicorn both blessed and cursed with life eternal, I was amazed that Celestia was able to retain such vast stores of knowledge, for a relatively insignificant event. At length Rarity and I approached the solar diarch. We both promptly bowed in respect.

“Rarity. Blade Star. So wonderful to see you again,” she said to us as we rose.

“Thank you Princess,” Rarity replied, “It is such a pleasure to be here.”

“Indeed it is, your highness,” I continued, “Shall Princess Luna be joining us this evening?” The snow white alicorn smiled at my question.

“My sister is just finishing a few affairs in Night Court. I’m sure you heard from your father what happened this morning,” she answered.

“Indeed your highness. Ah trust you were not troubled by the incident, strange as it was.” Rarity quickly jumped in.

“What do you mean, Blade Star? What ‘incident’?” I remembered that I hadn’t told Rarity the story Dad had related to me.

“Somepony walked into the Throne Room this mornin’ and tried to throw a pie at the princess,” I answered, Rarity gasped in shock. “Now come along, Rarity. We’re holding up the line.” Celestia sniggered slightly as I led Rarity onward.

Entering the huge ballroom was quite an experience. I have yet to come across a larger forum for events in all of Equestria. Like the rest of the castle, it was beautifully ornate, with subtle hints of Greek and Roman styles, perhaps influenced by the architectural designs of the pegasi. Hanging from the large pillars, as well as from the roof itself, were a collection of steamers and ribbons. Nothing to be even compared to the standard of a Pinkie Pie party, but nevertheless nice to look at.

Several tables had been laid out, vast long things that stretched a good ten, perhaps fifteen feet in length. On these was an elaborate buffet of all sorts of foodstuffs. These ranged from things as simple as dandelion sandwiches up to far more fancy cuisine, some of which I could not even identify. And of course there were a few other options for our international guests. On one table, noticeably distant from the others, was a succulent looking collection of pork, chicken and fish, all looked cooked to perfection. Personally, though, until I had a chance to talk with Rainbow, I would stick to staple Equestrian cuisine.

Near the back end of the room, already playing soft melodies, was a small orchestra of no more than a dozen ponies. One I recognised instantly, a grey earth pony mare with a black mane, who was contentedly playing the cello, it was Octavia, one of Equestria’s most talented classical musicians.

Aside from that, there were of course the many guests. Celestia was already here and Luna would hopefully be arriving momentarily. Then of course you had the usual Canterlot fare. I swear to Celestia, the unicorns here give my race a bad name, as the city had an unusually high proportion of unicorns, almost all of them being stuck up snobs. Of course there were some celebrities here as well. I spotted Sapphire Shores, and quickly made a mental note to avoid. I also spotted three familiar blue and yellow jumpsuits, Rainbow would go ballistic if she found out she missed an opportunity to chat and hang out with Spitfire again, particularly outside of a competitive setting. I hoped to talk to them later, I expect the Wonderbolt Captain would be quite surprised to know that one of the most famous aircraft in the world shared her name. Then there were the various diplomatic guests, representatives from Equestria’s other major cities, such as Manehatten, Fillydelphia, Los Pegasus, Baltimare and so on. Then of course, there were a couple Crystal Ponies from the Crystal Empire. I could see as well a few Griffons. One of whom was Major Hartwin, who was evidently acting as their security man. All in all, this looked to be a fairly interesting evening.

“Well come along, darling,” Rarity said as she too took in the scene, “Let’s go mingle.”

I swear that when I find the vile, evil, reprehensible and plain cruel creature that devised the concept of ‘mingling’, I will cut their head off. Okay, I admit, I have less than perfect social skills and my emotional IQ was once described as dire, but still frivolous conversations with people you will most likely never see again as a recreational activity? It boggles the mind. Nevertheless, that is what I would be required to do for the next while at any rate. At least I had Rarity with me to cover up any missteps.

Across the room, Rarity spotted perhaps one of the most disliked ponies in Equestria – Blueblood. I will not recognise that oaf as a prince for he deserves no such title, his behaviour toward Rarity and pretty much everypony else he has come into contact with should be evidence of that. She looked to me with a hint of worry, her last encounter with him had left her a little battered and she certainly had no desire to speak to him again.

Looking around the room, I again picked out Major Hartwin and the other griffons, a decent enough start for the evening.

“There’s Major Hartwin, Rarity,” I said, gesturing to the group. “He’s a nice enough guy, ah’ll introduce you.” And so I lead her off.

The Major spotted me as we approached. I’d talked with him at length back at the Officers Club, he was one of the few even in the Griffons’ armed forces that had any experience of actual combat. Quite frequently, Diamond Dogs had been an irritation for the border areas of the Griffon Kingdom, resulting in several skirmishes. Even more interestingly, Hartwin himself had once caught and killed an injured Changeling in the Badlands, a rare achievement even by Griffon standards. In spite of this though, he was no barbarian warrior. In fact he was highly educated, and certainly smarter than me. He greeted the pair of us like old friends.

“Blade Star, not fleeing before the last act again I take it?” he said, cracking a wry smile. “And who is this lady friend of yours?” I nudged Rarity forward.

“Major Hartwin, this is Miss Rarity, a very dear friend of mine from Ponyville. She owns and operates the Carousel Boutique there. You may recall her presence at the defence of Canterlot during the Incursion.” The Major nodded.

“Yes, indeed. A pleasure Miss Rarity,” he shook her hoof kindly, “From what I have heard you were quite the warrior princess against those Changelings.” I feigned offense at Hartwin’s remark.

“Easy Hartwin, the evening has barely begun yet.” We exchanged mutual grins.

“Ha, don’t I know it, Blade Star.” He brought another Griffon, a female, forward. “They’ll be none of that for me tonight I’m afraid. The wife would throw me out on my tail if I tried anything.” At this the female griffon giggled. As often occurred in these kinds of situations, the conversation then split between the sexes. Hartwin’s wife headed off with Rarity, while I continued to chat with the old war horse.

Rarity and the Major’s wife evidently hit it off, for they didn’t return for some time. We continued to chat as well, mainly about the group Hartwin served in; the famous and occasionally infamous Iron Hawks.

The group had been founded some sixty years ago and was raised by a member of the Griffon nobility. Instead of maintaining a standing army under a single command structure, the Griffon Kingdom relied upon a number of militias of varying sizes. Each of these groups were raised and commanded by whichever member of the nobility created it, with the right passing down the bloodline. Each city or region had its own groups. In effect, it was a civilised and perfected form of gangs, occasionally rival groups would even get into minor skirmishes over territory and naturally matters of honour. The Iron Hawks operated near the border with Equestria, and had long supplemented the existing border guards. Hartwin himself had been involved in a number of engagements himself, and briefly showed me a medium size gash on his back, acquired from a member of a rival faction. It was a strange system to say the least.

“It may be strange Blade Star, but it works. Aside from having to round up the odd Diamond Dog band or fleeing Changeling not much really happens anyway,” he said at my comment,

“Sure it’s good in peacetime,” I replied, “But what about in a full scale war? How do you get all the factions and groups to band together for the common cause?” Hartwin smiled.

“Just because we don’t all like each other all the time, doesn’t mean we won’t band together if we have to. I may hate the Steel Falcons,” He muttered something about copyright infringement under his breath. “But I’ll still fight with them if I have to. The Kingdom comes first, before clan and before family.”

At this point I was approached by the de facto, moustache sporting head of Canterlot’s nobility. Whilst Blueblood may style himself as such, he lacks influence in reality. Suffice it to say he is incapable of playing realpolitik. As I said, I have always been in two minds regarding Fancy Pants; I still struggle to say his name without laughing out loud. At the end of the day though, he was a decent enough guy, any port in a storm.

“Ah, Blade Star. Good to see you dear boy,” he said, offering a hoof.

“Likewise, sir,” I replied, I noticed his female companion beside him. “And good evening to you Fleur de Lis.” I continued. The tall unicorn mare smiled at me in the way only airheads can.

“I’ve heard a great deal about you. Enjoying yourself I take it? I imagine this is a welcome change from defending your marefriend’s honour.” I almost choked at that. Taking a moment to collect myself, I began damage control.

“Oh, Miss Rarity is not my marefriend, sir. I’m merely here as her chaperone.” At this Fancy Pants raised an eyebrow, whilst Fleur seemed to perk up all of a sudden.

“Oh, I see. My apologies,” he replied lamely, “I was under the impression from what I had heard through the grapevine that you two were something of an item.” He seemed a bit embarrassed with himself now.

“Ah can see how such a view may have come to light. Miss Rarity is an eligible bachelorette after all. But Ah can assure you we are not together, Ah would be grateful, as Ah’m sure Miss Rarity would be, if you would do your best to dispel such rumours.”

“Of course, of course,” he replied, Helps to have a noblepony in your pocket it turns out.

With that settled, I could afford to laugh at the notion Canterlot’s gossipers had formed. Me and Rarity? She wasn’t my type by a long shot, and I wasn’t about to take her from Spike. Hopefully my actions would settle the issue without problems. Just then Rarity approached us. Fancy Pants and Fleur broke off to talk with the Major and his fellow Griffons.

“Blade Star, Princess Celestia just came over to talk to me, I think she’d be glad to get a chance to talk with you as well,” Rarity said, I looked across the room. The princess was talking with a couple of ponies I did not recognise. Their attire was somewhat reminiscent of Arabian in its style, perhaps they were from Saddle Arabia. A thought wormed its way into my head.

“All right then, Rarity. It would be nice to get a chance to speak with the princess in a less formal setting. And those two she’s talking to as well, Ah don’t believe Ah’m familiar with them.” Rarity followed my gaze.

“Oh, that’s the ambassador from Saddle Arabia and her husband, Blade Star. That place has such divine tastes in fashion, I would just love to get my hooves on some of those gorgeous materials they use for their attire.” As we headed towards them, I hoped that my little attempt to impress all concerned would pay off.

Princess Celestia was amicably chatting with the pair when we arrived. We both offered a brief bow to the diarch of the group, who kindly introduced us.

“Oh, ambassador, this is Blade Star, the pony I was telling you about earlier. And this is Rarity a close friend of Princess Twilight.” I turned to the two ponies, hoping I hadn’t gone rusty with lack of practice. Placing a hoof on my chest, near my heart, I offered my greeting.

“As salam aleykum,” I said, switching my accent to suit Arabic and bowing my head slightly. For a moment, there was silence and I feared I had committed a fatal social faux pas.

“Wa aleykum as salam,” came the slightly surprised response from the ambassador, I breathed a sigh of relief internally. Looking up, I saw both Saddle Arabians had a look of surprise on their face. Celestia on the other hand, wore an expression that suggested she was impressed. As for Rarity, she was just confused by what had transpired.

“I did not realise you spoke the language of Saddle Arabia, Blade Star,” the princess said.

“The name bears a striking resemblance to a nation on my old world, your highness,” I replied, “The language Ah just used is the native tongue there. Ah acted merely out of respect, and perhaps a little curiosity.” Again the alicorn smiled.

“This is most strange, Princess,” the ambassador said, “A whole other world, that just so happens to speak both our languages, and an inhabitant of it arrives here. He even acknowledges common social courtesies.” She shook her head. “The world is a curious place.” Just then, one of the waiters came up with three glasses. A glass of wine for Celestia, the other two looked suspiciously like Berber Whiskey.

“Excuse me, Ambassador, but that wouldn’t be black tea brewed with mint leaves would it?” The look on her husband’s face was priceless. She nodded. “On my world such a drink is common in the region where your language is spoken, alcohol, or salt in your own case, is outlawed there. I would recognise it as Berber Whiskey.” I think by this point all parties concerned had run through their limit of surprise.

Myself and Rarity talked at length with the ambassador and her husband. Back on Earth I had always held the Arabs as a people in high regards, both in terms of their culture, which never ceased to fascinate me, and their military skill. My own great, great grandfather had served in Arabia in the First World War. He was not part of Lawrence’s irregulars, but did take part in the capture of Jerusalem from the Turks.

A great many things, particularly with regard to culture transferred over to the Saddle Arabians, of course, with the notable exception of Islam. I am still not sure whether or not that ought to be judged as a decent state of affairs. Saddle Arabia itself was part of Equestria, a province crossed with a protectorate, akin perhaps to the Crystal Empire, though with far stronger links to Equestria as a whole. Nevertheless, the region was a vast one, and its few large settlements were a great distance from anywhere else.

The whole region had apparently been regarded as something of a mysterious and enigmatic place. Filled with vast deserts and searing heat, and at the same time blessed with huge blue oases, palm trees and remarkable cities. It sounded like the Arabia of old, before it had been carved up by Europe, who chose to ignore their wartime promises, a completely alien world, even in a place as foreign as Equestria was.

Our little group continued to make small talk for some time. Celestia of course had to peel off to allow herself to be bothered by the nobility as well as mingle with the other guests. In any case, the small orchestra which had been providing, no doubt at great expense, ambiance for the event was now preparing to switch to its main function for the evening. We were in a ballroom after all.

This of course explained partially why so many of the various guests had brought their husbands or wives with them. There was to be a dance. The orchestra ceased playing for a short while as the various pieces of sheet music were distributed and the various musicians got settled. In spite of the classical pieces which had been playing throughout the evening, the orchestra was aptly set up to play in a variety of styles, from jazz, to big band, to swing. And of course, naturally, the waltz. Couples began to take their places on the floor.

“Well, Mr. Blade Star,” the ambassador said as the crowd began to settle, “If you will excuse me, and I shall see yourself and Miss Rarity on the dance floor.” I turned to Rarity, who had already taken the liberty of seizing me by the foreleg. I put on my best suave smile, which is not my strong suit, but nevertheless believable.

“Would you care to dance, Miss Rarity?” I asked kindly, Rarity did not respond, instead simply nodding and leading me out onto the dance floor and mirroring the position of the other couples. Their posture and stance suggested that the pony equivalent of the waltz was the same as on Earth. The forelegs held one’s partner, while the rear ones performed the dance. Personally, I would have thought that the shift in weight and centre of gravity would cause both parties to fall on their faces, but I digress.

Now, you may recall that I cannot and will not dance. This is not strictly true. I will not partake in modern dancing, if it can even be called that. However, my old grandfather had insisted that I learn to dance in some capacity. If nothing else, he assured me that it would allow me to someday snare a pretty girl and ensure I did not look a fool at wedding receptions. When I was about twelve, he and Grandma had taught me how to foxtrot. To be fair, this had been the way the old man had managed to convince her to allow him to walk her home. A foxtrot was similar to a waltz, aside from the difference in beat. All I had to do was translate this into a form my equine body could use. Simples.

The music started up and we began to dance, with me leading off. I had to put a little bit more thought into everything as I danced but before long, I had gotten back into the rhythm of things. Rarity also seemed to be fairly adept, but that was to be expected, at least to an extent. Briefly glancing around, I could see the various other couple gliding across the floor in a similar fashion. Evidently, I was not doing too badly.

“Blade Star, I didn’t realise you could dance so well,” Rarity said, breaking my train of thought.

“My grandfather taught me to. Told me it would come in handy one day,” I replied kindly as we continued to dance,

“I had expected that you would find this evening a little trying, darling. But you seem to have stepped up to the plate quite well. I feel like I’m the envy of half the room.” She blushed slightly.

“Probably so, Miss Rarity. Probably so,” I replied, adding a smile for effect.

“Oh will you leave off with the false flirting, darling,” she replied, giggling quietly to herself. “I’m certain that I could never replace the ‘apple of your eye’.” I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

The song ended before I could ask her what she meant. The assembled parties offered their applause to the orchestra, who briefly bowed in thanks before preparing the next dance. Just before they began however, a hush fell across the room, and I felt a presence behind me. Rarity’s face also had changed to a look of surprise. I released the mare from my grasp and turned around. Before me was Princess Luna.

“May I cut in?” she asked calmly.

Chapter 40 -The Reception - Part 2

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Alright Bladey, don’t panic, I thought to myself. It’s just the Princess of the Night and one of the ponies you admire the most asking you to dance with her. Nothing to worry about at all. My mind offered a rebuttal in the form of a very loud scream. It was one thing to dance with Rarity, it was quite another to dance with the pony who for half the time was the highest authority in Equestria. Once upon a time, I might have begun to crush on Luna, but not now though, for two key reasons, the most prominent being that she was way out of my league.

Still, the princess stood before me, smiling slightly and offering a hoof. I was hardly in a position to refuse. But I did fear that I would say or do something wonderfully embarrassing.

“But of course, Princess,” I replied, bowing slightly. “Ah would be honoured.” And with that, I led her onto the dance floor, my heart pounding so loudly, I could hear it in my ears. Luna suddenly peeled off however toward the orchestra. Using her most basic of magical abilities, she summoned several sheets of paper and handed them to the various performers. I saw Octavia look over them, she seemed intrigued by what she saw. The group then nodded to the princess and took their places. As she returned, Luna anticipated my question.

“I was merely handing the musicians a new piece I would like to hear played live,” she said, as she took her place. This would be an unusual experience. I couldn’t recall a time when the female partner was so much taller than her companion. I had to raise my head slightly to look her in the eye. And with that, the music began.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZQQ0vUBceM

I would recognise that tune anywhere; Moonlight Serenade. A beautiful slow piece ideal for a dance like this. My mind, and inner brony for that matter, was still reeling from being asked to dance in the first place. I did the only thing I could think of at the time to distract myself; turn on the faux charm.

“Dropping the Royal ‘We’ and the Royal Canterlot Voice at a public event? Ah must say your highness, ah’m impressed.” Right, well done, I figured I now had about three seconds of life left. Much to my surprise, the usually stoic Luna sniggered.

“As am I. I did not expect a common farmhand such as yourself to be such a good dancer.” Did I just get burned? “Besides, I have been in this new world for a few years now, Blade Star. You didn’t think that I would forever continue to cling to ancient and outdated traditions did you?”

“Touché,” I replied. “Still, Ah’m glad you could attend, Princess.” Luna rolled her eyes slightly and smiled.

“Blade Star, how many times must I tell you? Call me Luna.” I had been hoping that she wouldn’t say that. I was already dancing with her in a most intimate fashion and our conversation was becoming increasingly informal. I had expected that she would maintain a certain decorum at this event.

We continued to dance and twirl as the steady music continued. I was actually starting to enjoy myself. I foalishly looked into her eyes. Those same beautiful cyan eyes. My god, I was turning into a bloody romantic, and after just one dance.

“Ah’m not overstepping my bounds am Ah then?” I asked Luna, I was also praying that Celestia couldn’t see this. Luna shook her head.

“Of course not. I requested you to dance with me, which you accepted. I don’t see why you should see yourself as overstepping the mark. We are dancing at a formal event, I am hardly making some foalish romantic overture.” Oh thank Celestia, I thought. I liked Luna, but as a friend, perhaps even a mentor of sorts. Briefly I had somehow got it into my head that I was in some trashy HiE romance nonsense. “Though I do like you, Blade Star.” Before I could complain more internally, the song ended as we both bowed briefly to each other.

“Thank you, Luna. Ah enjoyed that very much,” I said as we released each other.

“As did I young Blade Star. Perhaps we will partake in such activities again?” I nodded politely. And with that, the princess went to meet up with her sister who had indeed been watching the whole time. To my alarm, Luna instantly began whispering in the white alicorn’s ear.

I looked around for Rarity. I figured we would have one more dance and then think about heading back to the hotel. This plan lasted right up until the moment I spotted my alabaster companion.

She was standing a ways off from the dance floor, a glass of something in her magic. Directly opposite her, standing uncomfortably close to her, as could be seen by her expression, was the second greatest insult to Equestrian royalty; Blueblood. I immediately began to head over to them.

Very quickly I came up with a simple and effective plan to counter this unfavourable situation. Step one: go to Blueblood. Step two: punch Blueblood really hard in the middle of the face. Step three: demand a dual. Step four: win duel and go on with my day. Bear in mind this plan was devised by an extremely angry inner brony that hated Blueblood with a passion. So, yeah, not one of my better ideas.

Luckily for me though, I did not have sufficient time to put my brilliant plan into effect. The look on Rarity’s face turned from disgust to pure, blind rage. Then, in a move I have not seen before or since, she reared up and punched Blueblood right on the nose. Instantly the assembled crowd gasped in surprise. I was even more shocked when I saw Blueblood briefly stagger, before fluttering his eyelids and passing out on the deck. In one punch Rarity had knocked him out cold. Didn’t see that coming. I quickly cantered up to Rarity.

“Rarity, are you alright?!” I asked alarmed, I still had no idea what that foal had done to provoke her so. She was still shaking her right hoof from the punch.

“I’m fine Blade Star,” she replied, her tone still heavily laced with acid. “It’s a pity I can’t say the same for the sorry ass over there though.” She gestured to Blueblood.

In spite of my dislike for the spoilt prince, I went over to check on him, since no one else seemed to be willing. Putting a hoof to his neck I felt a steady pulse. Rarity had landed her punch on his mouth. The poor bugger was already getting a fat lip and was bleeding profusely. I opened one of his eyes, it reacted to the light well enough. In spite of the force behind the punch, the prince seemed uninjured; glass jaw I suppose.

I considered calling for a couple corpsponies, there were plenty of Royal Guard around after all, but since there was no obvious serious injuries, I decided to go for simple approach. I began by tapping Blueblood’s cheek with a hoof.

“Alright sir, come on, up you get.” The unicorn stirred, groaning profusely, and far more than necessary if you want my opinion. “It’s alright, you’re not hurt that bad. Come on, get up,” I encouraged. He opened his eyes, he quickly took notice of me trying to help him up.

“Get off me you stupid oaf!” he complained loudly. Well, I guess Blueblood hasn’t changed much. I continued to help him to his hooves “I said get off! You’ll ruin my suit, this costs more than you make in a year, I guarantee it!” He obviously hadn’t yet looked down at himself. The blood from, well most of his face, had trickled down onto his, frankly vile, suit. He quickly clocked this and let out a scream that I would have expected to come from a filly.

“My suit, you evil mare!” He pointed at Rarity. “First you act in such an uncivilised manner at the Gala and now you dare strike me for mere conversation!” I looked to Rarity, who was a barely contained maelstrom of unending female fury.

“You are the one who had the nerve to insult me,” she countered angrily, “And I have never been so disgusted with a pony’s comments about anypony in all my life. So take that you ruffian!” She glared triumphantly at the prince. By now, the situation was attracting quite a crowd. I picked out Fancy Pants amongst them.

“Fancy Pants!” I called, “Do me a favour please and take Prince Blueblood here outside while ah try and sort this out.” The unicorn nodded and placed a hoof on Blueblood’s shoulder before leading him out. I turned to Rarity, placing a hoof on her shoulder.

“Now, Rarity, slowly, tell me what just happened.”

And so Rarity told me of the events that culminated in her striking a royal prince. It had started innocently enough. She had already anticipated that she would run into him and had done her best to prepare herself for the encounter. Given the events of their last meeting and parting, she had no desire to see neither hide nor hair of him, never mind speak to him. However, whilst I had been away with Luna, he and a group of his fellows had approached her. She had done her best to be civil, greeting him with at least feigned politeness. Blueblood however was anything but civil and opened with the question ‘why are you here?’. Now, bear in mind Rarity was wearing one of her own label dresses and was widely known as a talented designer, so this first volley came as a shock to her. When she replied that she was here as a designer, Blueblood had attempted to sully her name, suggesting that she merely sewed rags together and called them dresses, and that were not good enough for the likes of Canterlot.

In all honesty, I would have punched him at that point and not necessarily in the face.

Rarity naturally took offence at such a remark and demanded that he apologise. Typically, Blueblood’s ego got in the way of that one and he refused to do so, amazingly citing her as the offending party for making her dresses in the first place. It was then, that he went over the edge. He suggested to Rarity that she ought to consider making designs for, let’s say places of little repute, and that perhaps she might look good in one. At that point she had lost it, reared up on her hind legs and taken a swing at him.

“Ah’m surprised you kept your temper for so long, Rarity,” I said as she finished her tale, “Ah’d have punched the sorry idiot much sooner. And ah always liked to think I could keep a cool head.” Rarity sighed in resignation.

“There’s just no way anypony can reason with that imbecile,” she replied. “No matter what, he is in the right and it’s not his fault.” At this point my mind reminded me of my original plan. Technically, I had a case here, Blueblood had insulted a lady under my care, which made the offense far more serious, and had refused to apologise. All I would need was a second and I could go ahead and settle matters the way gentlecolts ought to. Luckily saner heads prevailed, I had never fought a duel, and the practice of true duelling was probably just as illegal as it was on Earth.

However, I was not the only one who sought to tear Blueblood a new one, for Princess Luna had seen everything that had transpired and evidently heard Rarity’s account. This became apparent when she dipped into the Royal Canterlot Voice.

“PRINCE BLUEBLOOD!” she bellowed, “THOU SHALT COME BEFORE US NOW!” Just to be sure, she cast her horn alight and levitated the, evidently magically weak, prince from his position outside the door with Fancy Pants, to a position directly in front of her. The last time I had seen that look on her face, she had been declaring that there could only be one Princess of Equestria. Blueblood simply cowered, somehow maintaining control of his bowels.

“Oh, err, hello Aunt Luna,” he said in a small voice. Luna quickly cut him off.

“THOU SHALT BE SILENT!” Again we all did our best to endure and keep our ears covered. “THOU DISHONOUR THINESELF AND THE ROYAL FAMILY AS A WHOLE, SUCH BEHAVIOUR TOWARD A MARE IS UNFORGIVABLE!” I was hoping that the next sentence would include the word ‘moon’. “WE SHALL DEPRIVE THEE OF AN ENTIRE MONTHS ALLOWENCE FOR THIS!” Okay, this was now starting to look like a case of all bark and no bite.

However, from the look on Blueblood’s face, you would have thought that Luna had donned the black cap. He looked crestfallen and resigned, though some defiance still burned.

“But, but, how will I be able to afford all the clothes I need. I cannot live without my allowance.” Before Luna could issue another deafening rebuttal, I led Rarity out onto the balcony; she needed the air, and an opportunity to clear her head.

We stepped out into the cool, calm night, both of us glad to be away from the hustle and bustle of the reception and the still ranting and shouting Luna. It was completely dark by now of course. It had to be getting on for eleven o’clock at this point. Rarity simply leaned on the balcony railings and exhaled. Again, it had not been the night she had been hoping for. I still had half a mind to go and join Luna and beat the tar out of Blueblood, it alarms me greatly that that colt in a stallion’s body is actually fifth in the line of succession. Rarity looked like she just wanted to go back to the hotel, she looked broken.

I wasn’t going to have that. No, just for once, Rarity was going to have fond memories of Canterlot, visiting there with friends and meeting many interesting and friendly ponies. I contemplated how I would achieve this, that’s when I heard the orchestra start up again, perhaps in an attempt to salvage the mood. We both stood alone on the balcony, and I had promised to be her hoof candy for the evening, I could indulge one of her fantasies. I walked up to her as she continued to look sadly out over Canterlot.

“Miss Rarity,” I said as the music increased in volume, “May ah have this dance?” She looked over to me half-heartedly. Very quickly though, she realised I was serious and burst into smiles.

“Thank you, Mr. Star,” she replied quietly, “I’d like that very much.”

And with that, we began to dance. It was by no means a romantic thing on my end, sometimes a mare just needs somepony to be there for her, to make it all okay again. I was more like a father consoling his daughter than anything else. If nothing else, I could have a good go at it. We continued to dance alone in the moonlight; Rarity was evidently enjoying the faux romantic nature of the gesture. She seemed to regain the gleam in her eye that had vanished after her encounter with Blueblood.

“Thank you for this, darling,” she said as we swayed to the steady rhythm of the waltz.

“Well, Ah am your ‘plus one’ after all,” I replied. “Wouldn’t be right to leave a lady alone and upset on a balcony now would it.” She smiled happily at my comment.

“Well, if this is your idea of simply playing a part, I’m certain your special somepony will enjoy the genuine article.” My face took on a look of confusion as I raised a hoof to allow Rarity to twirl.

“Special somepony?” I asked, “Since when have ah had a special somepony?” Rarity tittered.

“Oh darling, please. There’s no need to keep quiet about it. You and Applejack would make a wonderful couple.” At that point I kind of lost my footing, and Rarity collapsed on to me, suddenly ending the dance.

“Applejack?!” I exclaimed, “Rarity what in the name of all things oats and apples are you on about?” As Rarity righted herself, her expression changed. At first, she smiled as if it was all just a joke, but as her eyes met with mine, they became more serious. I could see the cogs turning in her head as she tried to process what was before her. Finally, she briefly closed her eyes, before looking me in the eye and placing a hoof on my shoulder.

“What I do now, I do as a friend.” And with that, she smacked me across the face. “Idiot!” There was a slight pause in my response as I rubbed my now reddened cheek.

“Not so sure ah deserved that,” I said crossly. Again, the look on Rarity’s face was one of confusion.

“Darling, please tell me you have spotted that she likes you.” My mind instantly flew to that kiss, and how broken up she had been when she thought I was leaving for good and the number of strange remarks I had got from other ponies, and my family. At the time I’d simply written them off as us being close friends, but now. Everything clicked into place.

“Oh boy,” I muttered, running a hoof through my mane. “This ain’t good.”

Chapter 41 - Advice

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Rarity and I were now back in the dogcart on our way back to the hotel. The night had been one of revelations to say the least. A part of me had suspected things from the get go, but I had been unwilling to admit the possibility. Applejack liked me, more than a friend. I sat in silence next to Rarity, not really sure what to feel. All through my life, I had pretty much known what I was doing; I had a plan for almost every occasion. Even my arrival in Equestria had gone relatively smoothly. It was how I coped with everything life had thrown at me. But, I wasn’t prepared for this, I wasn’t prepared for love, the loss of control scared me in a way. In an attempt to lighten the mood, Rarity spoke up.

“I just realised something, Blade Star,” she said, looking over to my sombre form.

“Oh, what’s that?” I replied cheerlessly.

“This is probably the first night out, where I’ve been less well-behaved than the stallion I was with. I caused quite a scene back there didn’t I?” It was true, between knocking Blueblood out and smacking me across the mouth for my incompetence, she had pretty much single hoofedly killed the party. Unless of course, you count Luna shouting loudly enough to shatter glass as a contributing factor.

“You still had a nice time though, right?” I asked. That was my mission for the evening after all. I felt a hoof on my own, another lifted my head up.

“Of course I did.” After that, the silence returned. My mood remained low.

I watched Canterlot roll by, lamps flickered in the streets and every now and then we would pass a Thestral or unicorn of the Lunar Guard out on patrol in the city. Everything was peaceful, silent and calm. Everything that is, except my mind. Finally, I could take the silence and inaction no longer.

“So what the hay do ah do now, Rarity?” I asked, looking her in the eye. The alabaster unicorn was startled for a moment. “Do ah go and talk to her about it, do ah just try and stay friends?” I sighed. “What do ah do?”

“Do you like her?” She asked me, her tone serious.

“Of course ah like her, but,” I sighed. “But ah don’t know.” I ran a hoof across my face. “Ah just don’t know.”

“I can’t answer that for you, Blade Star. You need to find that out for yourself.”

“How?” I answered with a monosyllable. Rarity tittered half-heartedly.

“Spend time with her. Talk to her, take her out somewhere, see what happens. But trust me, when you know, you’ll know.” I raised my head.

I could work this out, I was sure of it. I had crossed dimensional barriers and probably broken half the laws of physics just getting here. I was not going to be stumped by love of all things. I was reminded of the incident with Fancy Pants; it brought a smile to my lips.

“You’re quite the romance guru aren’t you? Ah suppose ah can see why Fancy Pants thought we were together.” Rarity spluttered. “Don’t worry, ah asked him to straighten out the rumours.” She relaxed herself again. With that, we arrived back at the hotel.

After riding up in the lift for what felt like the umpteenth time, we arrived back in our room. Closing the door behind me, I lay down on my bed, letting out a long sigh that I had apparently been holding. Rarity shook her head with mock disapproval.

“Honestly, Darling, I don’t understand what you are getting so worked up about. It’s not as if you are with somepony else. If I were to judge, I’d say this is the first time you’ve even considered a relationship. What’s got you so rattled?” I turned over on my back to look at her.

“Rarity, how do ah say this? Ah’m not the romantic sort. Ah’m not looking for love right now. Hay, ah doubt ah’m ever gonna go out lookin’. Even back on Earth, all ah wanted was to get a decent paying job and enough to satisfy my wants, ah wasn’t lookin’ to share it with anypony. It’s not that ah’m not returning AJ’s feelings, it’s just that it’s not something ah want to do.” Rarity looked at me in confusion, an awkward silence prevailed.

“Blade Star, you’re not a gelding are you?” She asked hesitantly.

And with that, all my troubles vanished, replaced with uproarious laughter. It wasn’t just a chuckle either, for the first time in years I was overcome with uncontrollable belly laughter. Finally, after much effort, I managed to quieten myself and dab my watering eyes.

“No, Rarity, no.” Again I forced down yet more laughter. “Ah can assure you all the equipment is there a fully functional.” The mare blushed profusely. “Ah’m just aromantic*.” She tilted her head in confusion. “Look, ah like AJ, but, it just doesn’t work for me, love ah mean. Ah don’t expect you to understand, hay my folks don’t even get it.”

Luckily, before I could launch into a long and undoubtedly boring lecture on why I could not even consider pursuing a romantic relationship, the clocks in Canterlot struck midnight, reminding me of my role for the evening. I re-entered my part that I had played throughout the evening.

“Ah, midnight, ah fear the spell is broken, Miss Rarity. Perhaps you should get some sleep. No need to concern yourself with trivial matters.” The unicorn looked ready to counter me, but fortunately for me, tiredness overcame her, and she agreed to retire to bed. With her settled and soundly asleep, I headed out onto the balcony. I didn’t feel like sleeping.

I sat out on the balcony, once again with a glass to hoof. I was still thinking about my predicament. Any other being in my position would probably be happy as could be. A kind, honest, gentle and friendly, if slightly snarky at times, female was seeking my affections. We were already good friends as it was and there were certainly grounds for something to happen. Yet here I was drinking as if I’d been shot down in flames.

It had never really bothered me before; in fact my ‘condition’ as some called it had been quite advantageous through my teenage years. My disinterest in love had allowed me to rise above the crowd of hormone crazed morons; I was able to retain my intelligence and sanity. Girls didn’t really give me much attention, nor did I wish them to, and while I may have had some issues in high school, my ability to sit through the Sex-Ed classes without giggling or embarrassment made it a little more bearable. I simply was not fazed by the concept of love; I regarded it as something of a fake. After all I had just spent the evening pretending, rather brilliantly if I do say so myself, to be Rarity’s date.

As I got older though, and became more jaded, my disinterest in love turned into hostility. For example, I’d never been comfortable with physical displays of affection. In my younger years I simply avoided things like hugs, but as a young man the mere idea made my skin crawl. I knew that some of this hostility spawned from them, but I was not sure really why I reacted so strongly against such emotions. After all, I was as human as the next man.

You know what I mean.

But, that was beside the point. What mattered now were my options. I had two options. Either I could enter into a possible relationship, and most likely break a mare’s heart when I could not do all she wished of me. Or I could reject her advances, achieving the same result. I couldn’t envision a scenario where me and love would end well. Love had dealt me a Kobyashi Maru, a no-win scenario it seemed. For the first time in my life, I regretted the way I was, I wanted to go back home tomorrow and throw my arms around her and just enjoy being back. Now though, the whole thing would be an awkward attempt to avoid the issue.

I would have to deal with it sometime, but for the moment who knows? Maybe I could continue to plead ignorance for a while. All I wanted was a friend, and AJ was my friend, the best I could ask for, but no, love had chosen to rear its ugly head. As always it had ruined a previously decent situation. Good for nothing bug food.

I stopped thinking at that point, or rather; thinking became difficult if not impossible, as the world began to lazily tilt from side to side. Evidently, my mortal coil had decided it had had enough. I passed out on the deck chair before I was able to get up, I would probably be sore in the morning.

I woke up with a noticeable hangover the next morning, my head throbbed with each beat of the heart, and every single one felt like a hammer strike. Still, Uncle Jim used to tell me that hangovers build character, at least, that was the excuse he used to justify his somewhat excessive intake when he was in the CID.

Today we would be going home, back to Ponyville, back to Applejack. Dammit. As I came to I remembered what had happened last night. Rarity was absolutely certain that Applejack liked me, though Celestia only knows why. I’d told her that I was aromantic and consequently was unwilling to pursue such a relationship. Rarity had then gone to bed, and I’d drunk myself into a stupor. This time though at least, these revelations did not bring about the same level of concern as they previously had. I had a rough idea of what I was going to do.

While it might have been obvious to others, I had not really been aware of what was happening until Rarity told me. So, I would just keep doing what I was doing. Applejack didn’t know that I knew and hopefully Rarity would not attempt to play matchmaker. For the time being, nothing had to change. I could cross, or jump off, that bridge when I came to it.

I staggered out of the deck chair, my body expressed its dislike for this action very quickly, my head swam and all of my joints felt stiff. I shook my legs a few times in an attempt to restore blood flow; at least I was steady on my hooves. The sun wasn’t too high up in the sky yet, though it was irritatingly bright; I guessed it was probably somewhere around six, my body clock was still waking me up for work. I had not been full on drunk last night, but I’d certainly had a fair bit to drink, the bottle on the table next to me only had about a third left in it. Appleloosa’s finest whiskey had gone down a great deal smoother than it was probably intended to.

Turning around, I headed back inside. I’d luckily had the sense to close the balcony door behind me last night. Had I not done so, Rarity would have most likely been pretty chilly. I opened the sliding door and found Rarity sitting on her bed; she’d been waiting for me. If she had arms to cross, they would have been. As it was, she settled for her forelegs.

“Please don’t tell me you spent the night out there, Darling,” she said, worry evident in her voice. I sighed and rubbed my temples.

“Alright then, ah won’t tell you,” I replied. She immediately got up and glared irritably at me.

“Blade Star! It’s almost winter, it must have been freezing out there last night!” She looked past me, undoubtedly spotting the bottle. “I see you found some method of warmth though.” Any concern evaporated in favour of slight disappointment. I needed to change the subject.

“Look, don’t you go worryin’ ‘bout me, Rarity. Ah’m fine, now at least. C’mon, we’ve got a lot of packing to do. The train leaves at eleven doesn’t it?” While it wasn’t particularly convincing, Rarity let the matter drop and levitated her suitcase over and began to pack her things. I also cast my horn aglow and began to replace my possessions. Looking over to the wardrobe in the room, I saw the suit I had worn last night. That needed to go back. Rarity had the same thought as I did.

“Oh, Blade Star, do you think you could take that suit back to the shop?” I smiled.

“Sure, where is it?” I asked in reply. Rarity gave me a quick guide on where to go. The place was actually not too far from the Officers Club, maybe I could drop in on Strong Shield if he was there.

“Be back here by ten o’clock, alright,” Rarity said as I headed out. I laughed a little, lifting my spirits, and probably hers.

“Yes, dear,” I replied jokingly.

Thanks to Rarity’s clear directions, I quickly found the rental place and returned the suit. I’d been quite careful and in spite of the events of last night, it was deemed to be in a sufficient condition to warrant the return of Rarity’s deposit. Taking the small sack of Bits in my aura and placing them in my saddlebags, I thanked the manager at the desk and headed out.

It was only half past nine, I had bags of time before I needed to head back, pack and check out of the hotel. So, I headed to the nearby entertainment district once again. I passed Steers on the way and wove my way down to the Officers Club. As luck would have it, Strong Shield himself was just walking up to the door. I called out to him.

“Hey there, Rookie!” He replied jovially after turning around and spotting me as I approached. “What are you doing in this neck of the woods? I thought you were heading back today.”

“Not for another hour or so, Captain. Besides, ah kinda need your advice on something.”

“Oh what’s that?” He asked as he rapped a hoof on the door to the club. His gaze met my own, and he evidently saw all he needed to see. “It’s a mare isn’t it?” He said smiling. Before I could reply, the small inspection port slid back to reveal the doorpony. I had evidently made an impression last time, as I was also recognised and allowed access. The dark blue guard captain motioned for me to follow him.

“Well, if we’re gonna be talking about mares, there’s only one thing for it.” He quickly led me in the direction of the bar.

“Tried that already, Captain, and all ah got is a hangover,” I said, pre-empting his offer of a drink.

“Well, it’ll do me some good at any rate,” he replied. He quickly got himself a cider. “Now, what seems to be the problem?” I cleared my throat.

“You know Applejack, back in Ponyville?” I asked.

“Sure,” he nodded. “You’re living with her family right?”

“Right, now, she’s a great pony to be with, and I’ve been friends with her since I got here. But last night, Rarity told me she reckons that ‘Jack likes me more than a friend.” Strong Shield cracked a wry smile.

“’Jack?” He repeated.

“Shorter than saying Applejack all the time,” I replied. “Plus, it’s a way to get back at her callin’ me ‘Bones’.” The instructor across from me began to chortle.

“Oh, so you’ve both given each other names. Well, you are pretty far along.” I sighed in frustration.

“So she likes me?” I asked, knowing the answer already.

“I’d say so, Rookie. And by the sounds of it you like her.” I spluttered at that. “So what’s the issue here? I know a bunch of guys who’d jump at the chance to have a mare like that one in their life.”

“The issue is, I’m not sure if I like her back.” Wait, why did I say that? Yesterday, I was certain that I couldn’t return her feelings.

“Why the hay not?!” Strong Shield replied, his eyes wide in confusion. Again, I sighed.

“Promise this don’t go no further than us?” He nodded. “Ah’ve never loved anypony, Strong Shield. Never, not in my whole life. The whole idea repulses me. All ah want is a friend.”

“Sweet Celestia. And I thought I was married to the job,” Strong Shield muttered. “So you want to let her down easy, right?”

“Ah suppose so, but, ah don’t want to hurt her. Plus ah want to live afterwards; her brother could probably take you down.” Strong Shield let out a low whistle.

“Okay, does she know you know?”

“No.”

“Then wait, see if this thing passes. If it does, no more problem. If not, I’d think about puttin’ your own feelings aside, Rookie. And, just for the record, that’s what I’d recommend, trust me, the life of a bachelor ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

I looked up as the clock on the bar began to chime, it was quarter to ten. I had to be ready to catch the train home in fifteen minutes!

“Oh, horseapples! Captain, ah’ve gotta head back. Thanks for the advice!” And with that, I dashed back toward the hotel. Strong Shield called after me about something, but I didn’t hear what it was. Once again, I was racing to catch a train.

Interlude 5 - If

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Note: This chapter takes place from the perspective of Blade Star's mother.

The bell rang in the schoolhouse, startling a few of the foals that had been drifting off through the lesson. It was about half past ten in the morning and that meant the kids were due their morning break, or recess as they insisted on calling it. Cheerilee had asked me to take a couple of the lessons myself today so she could catch up on some of the marking and other school paperwork she had to do.

This left me in charge all morning and for a fair portion of the afternoon, Cheerilee promised that she would take over for the last two lessons and that she would be on hand in her office if anything came up. Though personally, her office was more like a cupboard with barely enough room for a pony to stand still in, never mind a human. I still wasn’t officially a teacher yet. Apparently the brass would be coming down in a week or so. I’d be required to teach a full lesson of their choice, all the while closely monitored. For the moment, I could take lessons, so long as Cheerilee was close by.

We’d just finished up a maths lesson. Fortunately basic mathematical principles seem to be a universal constant or at least two plus two equalled four both on Earth and Equestria. History and Geography were a bit trickier for me. I used to criticise some teachers, usually supply ones, that were only a lesson or two ahead of their students, but now I found myself in the same situation. Twilight and Spike had been helping me with the basics for a few weeks now and I was getting better. I certainly felt I’d be able to get through whatever the inspectors might throw at me.

For now though, all I had to do was keep an eye on all of them on the playground. The class was no more than twenty or so, so it wasn’t too hard. Back home, you’d often have two or three teachers watching a good hundred and fifty. If the schoolhouse here existed back on Earth, the council would have closed it in a heartbeat, no doubt moving all the kids to some massive ‘super school’. But there was no chance of that happening here.

The day was slightly overcast and the trees were all now pretty much bare. Before long we were expecting snow. Well, I suppose we actually knew there would be snow, since that been the plan laid down by Cloudsdale, which from what I can make out is some kind of control centre for all things meteorological. It still struck me as a mad idea; a whole city made of clouds. It was whilst thinking this that Cheerilee snuck up on me.

“Hey Margaret,” she said. Her sudden interruption made me start. I turned round to find her standing right behind me.

“Oh, hey Cheerilee. You spooked me there.” The mare smiled.

“Sorry, just checking up on you. And I’m sick of writing at this point.” How she or any of the Earth ponies or pegasi could even write legibly with just their mouths was beyond me. “Any problems?”

“No, kids are doing fine for the moment and…” I trailed off. “Uh oh.” Cheerilee spotted it as soon as I did. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were bickering with the Crusaders. Again. I’ve seen kids go at each other before, it’s sadly a part of school life, but the continued vindictiveness of Diamond Tiara surprised me. Her main argument seemed to be she was the better filly due to possessing a mark on her rear end. I knew about cutie marks and the general idea behind them, but I had never come across such elitism over them.

“It’s your turn,” Cheerilee said tiredly. “I’ll keep an eye on the rest.” I nodded and headed over to the five arguing foals.

When I reached them, the five girls were in a full-fledged argument.

“Well, chicken, still think you can fly?” Diamond Tiara goaded.

“I wasn’t trying’ to fly, I was trying to stand on Sweetie Belle’s shoulders. And I was doing fine until you came along!” Scootaloo replied angrily.

“It’s no wonder you can’t fly then, you can even keep yourself balanced,” Silver Spoon countered.

“At least we’re doing something fer Nightmare Night, Diamond Tiara. Ah don’t see you with any one of a kind costume,” Chipped in Apple Bloom.

“Oh what’s that then? The three clumsy blank flanks? I don’t think you’ll need a costume.” The two fell into laughter. I’d had enough of this. It was bad enough that those two were mean as anything, it was worse that they enjoyed it.

“Alright, what’s going on here?” I asked the assembled combatants. Diamond Tiara quickly turned round to face me; a cheap plastic smile adorned her face.

“Oh nothing, Mrs Owen. We were just chatting about Nightmare Night.” I folded my arms. They seemed to recognise this as meaning ‘try again’. “We were talking to the three blank, I mean, the Cutie Mark Crusaders about what they were dressing up as.”

“Really?” I replied. “Well that’s nice.” I did my best to sound sincere and ignore the looks coming from the Crusaders. “And what are you going as?” I asked the spoilt filly.

“Well, naturally, a princess. I have a tiara after all.” Unknowingly, she’d steered the conversation exactly where I wanted it to go.

“Do you mind if I have a look at that tiara? I can’t say I’ve seen such an expensive one before.” The filly handed me her gaudy headpiece.

A while ago, I’d been watching a detective show with my son. In one episode, the case had revolved around a stolen cache of diamonds. They were apparently returned by the thieves. But after testing they were found to be fakes. The simplest test was glass; a diamond will scratch glass like nothing else can. There was a small window in the sports shed.

“You know, if I remember correctly, diamonds are so tough that they can scratch glass without damaging themselves. Shall we try it?” I covertly winked at the Crusaders who readily agreed with Diamond Tiara.

We walked over to the shed’s window and carefully holding the tiara, I scraped one of the stones on the glass. It didn’t make a scratch, probably cubic zirconium. As soon as the group saw the lack of damage, Diamond Tiara’s jaw dropped, while the Crusaders began to snigger.

“Hmm,” I said, taking a long while to examine the no doubt cheap tiara. “Perhaps you should have this looked at.” The filly promptly tore it from my grasp and stalked off, Silver Spoon following close behind. I turned to the Crusaders. “Perhaps she should change her name to Cubic Zirconium Tiara, eh?” I was rewarded with a number of high fives.

A while later the bell rang again and the youngsters filed back inside. I had one more lesson to teach myself before Cheerilee would return. We would then split the work between us. While I was still learning the finer details of the pre-Classical era of Equestrian history, having two teachers really helped improve the overall quality of each class.

Cheerilee though could easily put me to shame. I guessed we were about the same age, but she was far more talented as a teacher than I was. Were she a teacher back home, she would probably have no trouble tackling a class of Year 6 students. She could take almost any subject and make it enjoyable for everyone concerned. Normally when you try to do that, you end up getting too friendly with the kids and that affects discipline.

For now though, I would have to manage on my own. Sitting down at the desk (the chair was taken from our new house) I looked through the lesson plans Cheerilee had left as a general guide. This period was marked as ‘Equestrian Literature’. Below this Cheerilee had written the following:

‘Just pick a poem and have them write it out themselves and discuss it.’

Simple enough. I reached for one of the many textbooks in the schoolhouse on the subject. There were a few on poetry so I couldn’t foresee any problems. Then though, I had an idea. Why not teach them about a poem penned by humanity? It still fulfilled the lesson requirements and it would be something new. With that in mind I quickly settled on a poem.

“Alright, quiet down everypony,” I called out, the foals all hushed in response. Nice to know I haven’t lost the knack. “Right, the last lesson I’ll be teaching you before Ms Cheerilee comes back is going to be on poetry.” At this they all let out a groan.

“Yes I know it’s a bit boring,” I replied. “So I thought we might look at a poem from my world. I can guarantee nopony else will have heard it, you’ll be the first.” This peaked the children’s interest. Walking over to the blackboard, I picked up a piece of chalk and wrote the title. ‘If’.

“If?” Asked Twist. “If what?” I smiled.

“That’s the whole point of the poem, Twist,” I answered. “Now, I don’t have it written down, but I do have it up here.” I tapped the side of my head. “So I’ll dictate.” And with that I began. It was good practice for the kids to learn to write like this. I had to stop and repeat myself a few times with difficult words here and there, but otherwise there were no issues. I was slightly surprised that I still remembered it all after so long, after all, it had been my father who had taught it to me. Finally, we finished.

“Alright, now swap with the pony next to you and double check each other’s work.” A ruffling of paper followed. It would be nice if it caught on and stuck in their minds, the poem was good advice for life for my money. There were plenty of things for the Crusaders to draw on, as well as Diamond Tiara. Inevitably though, trouble brewed.

Since Diamond Tiara was sitting next to Scootaloo and Silver Spoon was sandwiched between Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, they had all swapped papers with each other. This had led to Diamond Tiara, in a frankly childish (even by her standards) move, to mark a good half of Scootaloo’s work as wrong. This of course was not the case. Whilst Scoots was by no means top of the class, she was a bright young thing. When the papers were returned, the inevitable happened.

“Hey, what the hay is this for?!” Scootaloo demanded. Diamond Tiara simply looked smug.

“Well, I’m sorry if I couldn’t make heads or tails of your chicken scratch, Chicken.” Then more inevitable happened.

“For the last time, I am not a chicken!” The orange filly’s wings buzzed like an angry hornet. So I waded in again.

“Diamond Tiara,” I said evenly. “Can I talk to you outside?” Anypony could tell that wasn’t a request. She pouted briefly before following me out into the hall. “The rest of you, do any corrections you have and start having a go at memorising the first part.”

Closing the door behind me, I took her a little way down the hall so as to be out of site from the others.

“Now, what was all that about?” I asked her. The filly continued to pout in silence. “I’m waiting.” The filly kept quiet for a little while longer before finally giving in. Children, of any species apparently, can’t stand being in silence near authority figures.

“I wasn’t doing anything. It’s not my fault that stupid chicken’s writing is illegible.”

“First of all, her name is Scootaloo. She calls you by your name, the least you can do is show her the same courtesy,” I countered. “Secondly, I looked at her work. Underneath your scribbling, I could not find a single fault. You however, have yet to correctly spell the word ‘incorrect’.”

“But…” the filly tried to cut me off.

“Diamond Tiara, I am sick and tired of you making everypony else’s day a misery, mine and Ms Cheerilee’s included. You’re staying behind for an hour today.” Now the filly fumed.

“You can’t do that! You’re not my teacher! My daddy won’t let you!”

“I can and I will. I’m certain Ms Cheerilee will agree with my decision. And your father is beside the point.” Somehow, she’d got it into her head that her father’s position as head of a small time outlet chain gave her the authority to do as she pleased. It would probably mean a difficult conversation later though.

Filthy Rich, he preferred to be addressed as ‘Mr Rich’ though many called him ‘Filthy’ behind his back. He was one of those parents who dotted on their child all through their lives. No matter what I or anypony else might say, their child was perfect and it must surely be the other parent’s offspring that were at fault. This of course, might explain Diamond Tiara’s behaviour.

The trouble was that, in spite of his relatively low position in the greater scheme of things, he did have a fair bit of pull on the local level. That meant he usually had the ear of at least one of the school governors, who oversaw schools all around the region.

“Cheerilee, just let me keep her back for an hour,” I pleaded as the day drew to a close. After handing over to her for the History lesson, she’d set the youngsters about their work and led me to her small office. While she completely agreed with me on the subject of a certain spoilt filly, she felt her hooves were tied.

“I know how you feel, Margaret. But I also don’t want to have Filthy and Co. come barging in here with a letter of complaint to the governors.” I groaned, evidently she had tried something similar in the past. “Diamond will tell her father, misconstrued the whole thing, which will then reach the governors. That could cost me my job.”

“You’re not serious?” I asked incredulously. Even by Earth standards that was a daft system. Cheerilee however nodded.

“The whole school system is decentralised. It’s usually pretty relaxed, but if a complaint comes up somepony from Manehatten or Fillydelphia will come down on me like a tonne of bricks. All they’ll see is ‘teacher being vindictive toward student’.” It was then, a thought occurred to me.

“Cheerilee, I work here but I’m not technically on the books, right?” She nodded. “Then they have no power to dismiss me, and I can’t see them going to the trouble to physically stop me from coming here every day. If I do everything, on my own authority, then Filthy’s got nothing.” Cheerilee looked up from her desk.

“For that to work, we would need to have not had this conversation.”

“What conversation?” I replied, grinning.

“Do it,” Cheerilee answered. “It’s about time I was able to put Diamond Tiara in her place.” And with that we both returned to the classroom to give Diamond Tiara the ‘good’ news, in as public a manner as possible.

The last bell rang and the students all filed out. All except one. Still pouting, Diamond Tiara remained in her seat. I’d given her a written copy of the poem we had been studying, and told her I wanted a dozen copies before she left. I saw Cheerilee pass by in the hall.

“You off?” I asked.

“Yep, Mac and I have a date tonight.” If I’d been drinking something, I would definitely have done a spit take.

“Mac? As in Big Mac? Applejack’s brother?” I asked. I received a nod in reply. “How long’s that been going on?”

“Oh err, funny story.” My fellow teacher blushed brightly. “The Crusaders slipped me and Mac a love potion last Hearts and Hooves Day. It made us kinda goofy for a while but after it wore off, well, I realised I sort of liked the guy. He’s such a good listener.” That I didn’t doubt. From what my son told me, the hulking red pony hardly said a word.

“So where you off to then?” I prodded.

“Oh, just to that little bistro place down Stirrup Street. Actually this’ll be the first date I’ve been on in a long time.” Her ears flattened against her head, a clear sign she was nervous.

“Don’t be so nervous, Cheerilee,” I said. “He’s probably even more nervous than you are.” Cheerilee still didn’t look convinced. “Look, when I met Roger, he was the single shyest thing you’ve ever laid eyes on. We were both really skittish when we were on our first date together. But I got him talking and we quickly found out we had so much in common. You just have to feel at ease, that will make him relax too.” There was a brief pause.

Finally, Cheerilee seemed to resolve whatever conflict had been going on in her head. She stood up straighter and looked more confident in herself.

“Wish me luck,” she said smiling. And with that she trotted out, leaving me alone with the tiara wearing hell spawn. I hoped she wouldn’t take too long. Pinkie Pie had said she wanted everyone and everypony at the train station for when Rarity and my son got back.

Author's Notes:

Proofread by Sidetrack.

I hope nopony sees these interludes as just filler. I write them to give alternate perspectives which line up with the general story. That and these school chapters give me an opportunity to mess with Diamond Tiara. Next time we return to the schoolhouse, it will be inspection time.

Also, you should take a look at 'If' by Rudyard Kipling. Here's the text:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Good advice for life I say. Tragically, Kipling's only son John was killed in the trenches in 1915.

Chapter 42 - Heading Back Home

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Luckily, I had once again been able to beat the clock. Racing back to the hotel, I had shot through the reception and taken the stairs. An elevator after all was rather tedious and slow. Plus, considering I was now a quadruped, I was considerably faster than I had been as a human. I could realistically run, at full tilt, at around thirty five miles an hour. Still, wings were faster than the fleetest of foot, Dash, assuming the speed of sound was the same as on Earth, could fly at over six hundred miles an hour.

Regardless, I quickly made it back to the room and began to get everything sorted and packed. Rarity of course, had already packed her things and was busy placing her many shopping bags atop one unfortunate bellhop. The pony in question looked to still be in his teens. His legs quivered under the sheer weight.

“Is that everything now, Miss?” He asked hopefully in a nasally voice, his legs threatening to buckle.

“Not quite, my dear friend here isn’t ready to set off just yet,” Rarity replied. The bellhop’s eyes grew hopeful.

“Then, do you think I could set these down for a minute?” Unfortunately for him, it was not to be.

“Oh, that’s not necessary; Blade Star will be out in just a moment.” I was certain she was doing this just to chastise me for being so last minute. I never took Rarity for the vindictive type.

So now, under the dual pressure of both the time and my desire not to see some unfortunate bellhop crushed under a mountain of shopping, I redoubled my efforts. I quickly folded and re-packed my waistcoat placing it in the suitcase and grabbed my toiletries and towel from the bathroom. Then, hurriedly throwing my saddlebags back on, I grabbed my keys and left the room, locking it behind me.

“Right, let’s be off,” I said. I couldn’t tell if the bellhop was delighted or disheartened by that.

Reaching the lobby, I asked the bellhop to take Rarity’s things outside and engage a carriage for us to the train station. Rarity then removed both my key and her own and hoofed them over to the pony at the reception desk. We both then hoofed over the necessary coinage. Between us, the hotel had cost us four hundred Bits for the room and the meal at the restaurant. Expensive yes, but also worth it in terms of the services provided. Mind you, I certainly wouldn’t be coming back to a place like this any time soon both for reasons of finance and my own tastes.

Trotting outside, we found a cab, loaded up with Rarity’s things, waiting for us. Quickly placing my own suitcase onto the pile, we both boarded.

“Right, where to then?” The cabbie called.

“Canterlot train station. There’s an extra ten in it for you if you can do it in twenty minutes!” I called. This was a pretty big ask for anypony, never mind a large cab such as the one we were in. It was getting on for midday, so the streets would be packed with other vehicles as well as pedestrians. To get through would take a skilled driver, with both agile manoeuvrability and a keen eye for gaps to pass through, and of course, a desire for a healthy tip. Luckily for us, the driver we had with us possessed all of these traits.

Unfortunately, he did not possess, from what I can gather, any sense of self-preservation.

Almost as soon as I said ‘Go’, we took off like a bat out of Tartarus. I didn’t even think it was possible for a pony to gallop this fast. At least, not without somepony calling V1 at some point. Worse still, the carriage was certainly not designed for such a high rate of speed; its wooden wheels groaned under the pressure. Reaching the bottom end of the road, we made a sharp turn to the right, roughly ninety degrees. The carriage briefly went onto its left side wheels only as we careered round the bend, much to the alarm of pedestrians.

We quickly found ourselves on the main thoroughfare through the city. At this time of day it was clogged completely. We though, didn’t seem to be slowing down at all, and the much larger carriages, perhaps Equestria’s answer to the truck, drew ever closer. Fearful of Rarity’s safety, and my own more to the point, I leaned out to call to the driver, the wind instantly lashed into my face.

“Hey, buddy! You want to take it easy? Ah may want to get there fast but ah also want to be in one piece too!” I called. The cabbie, still galloping took his eyes off the road to call back.

“Don’t worry my friend! I’ve done this run a thousand times before, you’re perfectly safe!” He shouted back.

He then jinked us hard right into a small alleyway. Canterlot evidently had back roads and shortcuts, and this cabbie has evidently done The Knowledge. I now didn’t dare stick my head out the window again for fear of losing it. I therefore turned my attention to Rarity. For the last couple minutes she had done nothing but cling on to her seat and her bags.

“Is this pony out of his mind?!” She demanded.

“No, I don’t think so,” I replied, briefly stopping to grab something as we made yet another hard and fast turn. “He seems to know what he’s doing. I guess he really wants that ten Bits.”

For the rest of the trip, we both simply did our best to hold on.

We arrived at the train station two minutes early. The cabbie must have been a stuntpony in the past or something. We had had a few close calls, but had not hit a single thing. We’d flown through back alleys, side roads, and even the odd back garden, but we were still in one piece. Mind you, we may have committed a few moving violations. Nevertheless, the cabbie had earned his extra ten on top.

Grabbing our things, we quickly headed into the station and onto the platform. And I say platform as in singular. In spite of being a terminus and also arguably a key hub insofar as travel was concerned, Canterlot Station had only one platform, with one line that led down to Ponyville. Only after passing my new home town did the line diverge, going all over the shop, from Dodge Junction, to the Crystal Empire to Rainbow Falls.

Our train was already waiting in the station when we got there. I still wish they’d designed it to be slightly less girly, or at least less pink. I mean, why not create something like Mallard, or Coronation Scot, or maybe Golden Arrow, sleek streamlined machines that would tear across the countryside setting speed records. Trains had always been a bit of a hobby of mine since I was a boy, Equestria though was severely lacking.

We weren’t on an overnight train this time; instead, we’d reach Ponyville in the early evening. Still, enough time to grab lunch in the dining car and enjoy the ride.

“Come along, Blade Star,” Rarity called. “The train’s due to leave at any moment.” Not a moment later, the guard’s whistle sounded. Needless to say, we both got on board sharpish.

Half an hour in to the long trip back home, myself and Rarity were chatting over lunch. When we’d settled in, Rarity had picked up one of those hateful gossip magazines which also covered current fashions. In it was a special feature section on the fashion show and the reception we had attended. I just hoped the tabloids would be kind; it was the first time I’d been in the paper since that idiot of an MP came to visit my high school.

“Well, anything good in there, Rarity?” I asked. She seemed to be reading and re-reading the same section over and over again. “Err, Rarity?”

“Oh, sorry, Darling, I was miles away,” she said, looking up from whatever she had been reading. “What did you say again?”

“I said is there anything interesting in there?” I repeated.

“Well, you’re in it,” she replied cockily. I balked.

Before I could respond, she handed the article in question to me. A large photograph sat in the centre of the page. It was me, shortly after I knocked that paparazzi for six. Beneath that was an article discussing, in great detail, the whole incident. Mind you, I thought they’d dressed it up a bit more than was necessary. I never really liked such publicity; I preferred to stick to the background. After reading the article again, I passed it back to Rarity.

“Well, that’s new,” I commented. “I just hope they leave it at that.”

“Nonsense Blade Star,” Rarity countered. “I’m sure when Applejack sees this she’ll be even more head over heels for you.” Rarity’s comment brought that whole issue to the fore once again. And I was just about settled again too.

I’d pretty much decided on what I was going to do. I was going to bury my dumb head in the sand and pray that everything got better by itself. That’s what I usually did when feelings came into a discussion. That or get as far away from the problem as possible. Still, it was only a stop gap.

Even now, I was finding myself starting to question my stance on love and romance. A few times on the ride back, I even began to think about what a romantic life would be like. What would happen if AJ and I became more than friends? How everypony would react to the news, dates, marriage, the works. But no. No, I wasn’t going to fall for it. Whatever might be in my head would certainly not happen in reality. I was going to stay friends with Applejack. That’s what she was, my friend, my best friend.

“You’re still thinking about Applejack, aren’t you?” Rarity asked, breaking my concentration. “Honestly Blade Star, she likes you and you like her, will you not at least try?” I sighed.

“Rarity, listen, ah’ve never, ever been in a relationship like that. Now you want me to just suddenly accept love from another species. What would everypony say? What would my folks say? And Applejack’s family? It’s all too fast. Please, just let me do this my way.”

Where did that come from? I was getting worse. In less than twenty four hours I’d gone from a complete disinterest in romance and a rejection of love, to explaining why I couldn’t act on such love. Even if I knew those reasons were a load of horseapples.

“Blade Star, first of all, you are a pony. So I don’t see a problem with species. And second, I cannot see why either your own family or Applejack’s would object, if you both love each other, who are they to stand in the way? You have something against love Blade Star, and I’m not going to stop until I find out what it is.” She fixed me with a stare. The fashionista was too good at reading ponies like that; she’d seen clean through my own excuses.

“Ah… the thing is…” I sighed again. “Ah just don’t trust love, alright? It’s a dangerous thing, physically and mentally. Ah’ve seen too many folks hurt by it to stick my own neck out. It’s too much of a gamble.” I recovered some of my capacity to argue, and to run my mouth. “And I refuse to be blinded by something so petty, Rarity! I have more important things to focus on; like getting my family home! You fall in love and before you know it you’re in some Celestia forsaken cave...” I cut myself off before too much came out.

Outside, the train’s shrill whistle blew, drowning out that last remark and we slowed for the run into Ponyville. We both quickly began to pick out familiar landmarks. It felt like it had been weeks since I had had to run and teleport myself to the station, leaving Applejack in the orchards.

Great, I’m thinking about Applejack again.

Anyway, we pulled into the station; the whole place was covered with balloons and a huge sign that proclaimed ‘Welcome Back’. I guess somepony told Pinkie what time we’d be back.

The engine let off a hiss and steam filled the platform, making it pretty hard to see anything. Still, stepping out, I helped Rarity down with her things. Then, the steam and smoke steadily began to clear and I beheld my friends and family, gathered to welcome us back.

First to step up was Spike, who naturally made a beeline for Rarity. My fellow unicorn smiled and hugged him, declaring that she was glad to be home. Spike was followed by Twilight, of course, who had no doubt provided him with transportation. She too was glad to see both of us, quickly hugging us. Then everyone and everypony just sort of piled in. I remember Pinkie shouting ‘Surprise’ at one point. Very quickly though, I found a pair of hooves around me.

“Blade Star!” Applejack declared happily, hugging me far tighter than a typical friend would. “Ah missed you so much!” For a moment I hesitated. I never had gotten used to such overt displays of affection. But once my mind caught up, I had the sense to return her hug.

“You too, AJ,” I replied. “You too.” With that, she released me, letting me see her face. She was the picture of happiness, her smile almost as wide as Pinkie’s. I chastised myself; even if I had little interest in love, how blind was I that I could not spot the obvious? All that was missing was a kiss.

Before I could do anything else though, I was quickly set upon by my mother. Even at this point, she still treated me like a little kid at times. She half hugged me and half picked me up when she grabbed me. Luckily Dad was on hand to pry her off.

They saved the best for last though, as Apple Bloom and the other Crusaders came out to me, with Big Mac keeping an eye on them. The sheer level of adorableness those three fillies displayed was sufficient to put even Fluttershy to shame. Balanced on their backs was a trio of steaming hot pies, undoubtedly made by Granny Smith and Applejack.

“Here Blade Star, me and the Crusaders made this for you.” Guess not then.

“And there’s one for Rarity too,” Sweetie Belle chimed in.

“And one for Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo proclaimed, displaying a pie with RD’s cutie mark carved on the crust. Her compatriots glared her outburst to silence.

I couldn’t help but smile at their antics. At everything really. I felt like I was home again. Whenever I got back from university on a Friday night, I always had a good feeling in me, but it had never been this strong. I felt like I was glad not just to be home, but to be with all the people, and ponies, here too. I hadn’t realised how close I had gotten to everypony.

With Spike carrying Rarity’s many bags, and not complaining one bit I might add, I turned to the assembled crowd on the platform.

“Well, ah say since we’ve got three steamin’ hot pies right here, how ‘bout we go and have supper back at the farmhouse?” The barn/farmhouse that I now called home was perfect for such a gathering, just as it was with the annual family reunions. Everypony readily agreed and we set off for Sweet Apple Acres just as the train pulled out again.

We all headed through Ponyville just as Celestia set the sun below the western horizon. Stars steadily began to peek out as the sky changed from its’ former reddish hue, to the deep blue and purple of night. The temperature dropped slightly, but it was still an autumn night, and with no wind, quite pleasant.

We first swung by Carousel Boutique to allow Rarity to set all her stuff down. Even fuelled by his affections for Rarity, Spike’s small arms were beginning to show signs of strain. Several times I asked him if he wanted any help, but each time I received a staunch negative. Behold, I thought, the idiocies of love. The amount the poor drake was carrying would induce injury before too long.

Arriving at Rarity’s home and place of business, we all paused while Rarity herself went inside. Fishing a set of keys from her saddlebags she unlocked the door. The shop had been closed for the duration of our expedition to Canterlot, and a pile of new orders had formed in her letterbox. Spike followed her inside and helped her put her many articles away, again declining any offer of assistance.

With that done and dusted, we set off for Sweet Apple Acres. By this time the moon was steadily rising into the sky and everything took on a silvery hue. Heading further and further out of town, we passed my parents new house. Since they’d moved in not so long ago, the place had taken on a very homely feel. I’d lived in a few places in the course of my life, but none of them had felt like that. It was like the childhood home I’d never lived in. I wondered if Lizzie would be heading there. As far as I knew, she was still living with Fluttershy.

It was an even better feeling when we finally passed through the apple covered arch that marked the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres. While forests tended to be somewhat unsettling at night, there was no such fear prevailing in the vast apple orchards. Coming up on the homestead, me and Applejack opened up the large barn doors and turned on the lights. With help from Pinkie and Big Mac, we quickly set out a few tables, grabbed a few plates from the kitchen, some cider from the cellar and woke Granny Smith up in the process. Luckily though, the kraken was in a good mood, particularly when confronted with the sight of pie.

We all settled down to enjoy ourselves. The pie was, as always, absolutely delicious. Applejack said that both her and her little sister had inherited their ability to cook from Granny Smith. Big Mac however, apparently struggled to boil water on a good day. The table was filled with raucous laughter when AJ recounted Big Mac’s attempt to make dinner. To cut a long story short, he was not allowed near the stove, ever.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo insisted that their sister figures each take the first slice of their respective pies. Rarity praised her younger sister, claiming she had come a long way with her cooking. Though she did dash out from the party shortly after, and returned looking decidedly under the weather. As for Rainbow, she loved the fact the Scoots had managed to carve a copy of her cutie mark onto the crust. That reminded me, I had wanted to speak with Dash when we got back; now was as good a time as any.

“Hey Rainbow,” I called to her over the various other conversations. She looked up from her pie.

“Yeah, Blade Star?” She replied.

“You don’t happen to eat fish much do you? It’s just ah heard pegasi eat fish on occasion, thought ah might try it.” She looked at me quizzically.

“I’m pretty sure unicorns don’t go for that kind of thing, Blade Star. Twilight tried it once after she got her wings; she was throwing up for a week.” That last remark caused Rarity to once again shoot out, while Twilight, who had overheard us, blushed.

“I just didn’t take to it well, Rainbow!” She retorted hotly. “Why do you want to try fish anyway, Blade Star?”

“It’s just ever since ah got here, it’s like ah’ve had two halves; my unicorn side, which can’t stand meat, and my human side that’s been craving it. Ah figured since pegasi can eat fish, it might be a decent happy medium.” The two mares both stopped to consider.

“Well, I suppose your human qualities could, in theory, overcome your unicorn physiology and allow you to. But it would be very limited. Your body would reject any kind of red meats or even a large quantity of fish. Maybe you should try protein supplements.” Rainbow shuddered.

“No way, Twilight! I had to drink those things sometimes last winter. No way am I making this poor sap do the same.” She turned to me. “Why don’t we try tomorrow? I’ll catch us some fish out on the lake and we’ll see if you can handle it.” Seemed like a good idea, anything but protein supplements that was for sure.

“Okay Dash, sounds like a plan. You want to swing by here tomorrow?” She nodded as she helped herself to another slice.

“Sure, I’ll pick you up once I’m done with my morning workout.”

At the far end of the table, the Crusaders, along with Spike, had fallen asleep. It was getting pretty late.

“Good lord, is that the time already?” My father asked, looking at the nearby clock. “Come on dear, best be off.” It was getting late. The rest of the group took this as their cue to leave. My parents headed back to their house, Lizzie and Fluttershy headed back to the cottage. Rarity and Sweetie Belle went back to the boutique and Dash placed Scootaloo on her back to fly her home.

As for me, I helped Mac get Apple Bloom on his back whilst AJ helped get Granny Smith back to bed. I was glad to be back, if nothing else, just to be in my own bed again.

Author's Notes:

Proofread by Sidetrack.

At last we are back in Ponyville. It feels like I've been writing about Canterlot for months! A couple slice of life chapters then it's onwards to Nightmare Night.

And yes, there will be romance coming soon.

Weird glitch now also fixed.

Lastly, a note on our history. Today is June 6th. 70 years ago, the largest amphibious invasion in the history of warfare took place on the beeches of Normandy. Codenamed Operation: Overlord the goal was to retake the French capital of Paris from its German occupiers. June 6th was to be H-hour, known as D-Day. Thousands of paratroopers were dropped behind enemy lines on the night of June 5th. In the morning, battleships bombarded the French coast and the combined Allied forces assaulted five beeches; Gold, Sword, Juno, Utah and Omaha. While all did not go as planned, the invasion was a success. The Germans were pushed out of France and the Vichy regime abolished. 434 days later, President Truman accepted the unconditional surrender of the Japanese and peace returned.

Today will be filled with memorials, commemorations and other events. This will likely be the last major reunion where we have the luxury of living witnesses. All I ask is that you ponder that, and most importantly, do not forget.

Chapter 43 - The Dolphins' Final Message to Humanity

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The next morning, I was woken up by a steady tapping noise on my bedroom window. Groggily coming to, I threw off the covers and staggered to the window. Opening the curtains, I was confronted with the searing light of the sun and a hovering Rainbow Dash.

I may have screamed.

Rolling in mid-air laughing madly, Dash was overcome with the effect her arrival caused. I’d forgotten until that point that she’d promised to come and catch a few fish for me, possibly resolving the current conflict between my human and pony halves. In an effort to salvage some of my ego, I chastised Dash.

“Yeah, yeah laugh it up Rainbow Crash,” I said jokingly. At that point her laughter began to die down.

“Sorry, Blade Star. Your face was just so brilliant. It was like.” She made a face similar to ‘The Scream’. “C’mon, I’ve got a few weather jobs to do today. If you want to go fishing, you better get a move on.” I nodded.

“Okay, be there in a minute or two, Dash.” Rainbow then pitched up out of her hover, briefly stalled, before recovering and dropping down to near the front door of the house. I quickly made myself presentable and brushed my teeth. Then I trotted downstairs, being careful not to wake anypony else. Opening the front door, Rainbow was waiting impatiently for me.

“Jeez Blade Star, you take more time than Rarity to get ready,” she jibbed.

“Do not,” I countered. “Nopony takes longer than Rarity, nopony.”

On the walk to the lake, I asked Rainbow what she had on her plate today. She’d just come from her morning workout to pick me up here, and she had a bunch of weather jobs to do as well.

“Yeah.” Dash said. “We’re starting to build up the first big snowstorm. It’s pretty much the busiest time for weather work, except maybe Winter Wrap Up. We’ve got to form a storm that’ll lay down a thick blanket of snow in one night. Then we can use smaller snowfalls to top it up. It's easy enough to keep it up once it’s started, but that first storm’s a real chump.” She ruffled her wings irritably.

“Ah doubt our weather team’s gonna have any problems,” I replied. “Certainly not with you at the helm. Y’all managed okay with the tornado last year, ah can’t see your folks bein’ stopped by snow.” We approached the lake.

The lake, just to clarify, was not the large body of water found in the park in Ponyville. Sweet Apple Acres had a large one as well, mainly due to beavers, well within its borders. That made it Apple family property and therefore our own private swimming and fishing hole. The surface was calm and clear, but just below the surface, it was possible to see a few fish darting about. From what I could see, I figured they were trout.

“You know, I’ve never been up here Blade Star,” Rainbow said. “There’s loads of fish here too. You could probably turn it into one of those fish farm deals like they have in Trottingham.”

“Fish farms?” I asked. I knew of the concept, but it never occurred to that Equestria had any.

“Sure, they supply places like Cloudsdale with fresh fish. Easier than everypony fishing for themselves,” she clarified. I stored this for later; AJ might be interested in expanding her business away from apples and other fruits.

“So how do we do this?” I asked Rainbow. The Pegasus had brought neither bait nor pole with her. She didn’t even have any saddlebags with her. She did however, have a smug look on her face.

“Easy, just watch.” And with that, she took off.

Watching her climb, I saw Dash grab a large tuft of cloud that was just about large enough for her to stand on. Even though I’ve seen such a feat several times since I got here, the ability of the pegasi to manipulate gaseous objects still amazes me. Dash brought the cloud down to just a foot or so above the surface of the water and settled herself on it.

She then began to peer down into the lake, evidently watching the many fish that were deep within. Her head began to dart about, left, right, up down, in a very bird like fashion. She was partially avian anyway. The whole spectacle was similar to a heron looking for food in streams. And just like a heron, her head suddenly lunged forward into the water, and a moment later, she produced a large fish.

With a flick of her head, she sent the hapless creature flying toward the bank. Dash then returned to her vigil and repeated the process a few more times. By the time she kicked her cloud out of existence, she had piled a good half dozen fish on the shore. A quick glide brought her over to me.

“See, nothin’ to it,” she said proudly. I was too stunned to reply. In less than five minutes, Rainbow had caught more fish than I could hope to catch in a day. I quickly began to wrap the catch in foil, before placing them in my saddlebags.

“Right, let’s get these cooked and see what happens.”

Neither myself nor Dash were overly talented as cooks. Personally, I had never cooked fish in my life. So we decided to call upon one of Ponyville’s premier chefs. If I was going to eat fish for lunch, I was going to eat fish that was properly prepared and cooked to perfection.

“Spike?” I called “Are you in here?” The pair of us trotted into the Golden Oaks Library in search of the elusive purple dragon. Twilight, who had evidently been working in her basement/laboratory, came up to see what the commotion was about.

“Blade Star? Rainbow Dash? What are you two…” she stopped, briefly sniffing the air. “Oh, eeww! What in the name of Celestia is that stench?” She quickly made to cover her nose.

“Jeez Twilight, it’s just fish,” Dash replied. “We figured Spike could cook it for us; see if Blade Star’s stomach can handle it.”

“He’s downstairs with me,” Twilight replied, her voice nasally from holding her nose. “Spike!”

“Coming Twilight!” Spike called. He quickly appeared from the basement. He quickly picked up the smell of fish. “Hey is that fish?”

“Sure is, Spike,” I said. “Think you could cook it up for us?” The drake’s eyes lit up.

“You bet! It’s been ages since I’ve had a chance to cook fish, Twilight won’t even try the stuff after last time.” Twilight promptly gave Spike the stink eye; the universal signal for ‘shut the hay up’. Spike quickly took the fish from my saddlebags, placing some in the freezer and a couple on the worktop.

“You can breathe now, Twilight,” I said snarkily. She released her hold on her nose.

“Thanks, Blade Star,” she replied.

“What are you working on down there anyway?” I asked. Twilight immediately switched to her ‘Doc Brown’ mode.

“It’s so fascinating, Blade Star. I think I’m actually closing in on how you arrived here.” This sounded interesting all of a sudden. “I was finally able to isolate some of the residual energy. Turns out its not magic at all, its rift energy.”

Since the incident a few weeks ago where half of the basement was damaged in a large explosion, Twilight had continued to research and attempt to work out precisely what had transpired to send me and my family to the Everfree Forest, and turn me into a unicorn in the process.

“Twilight, pretend I skipped quantum physics 101,” I deadpanned. Twilight splayed her ears.

“Oh, right. Well, basically, it means that it wasn’t random magic that brought you here, but a tear in the fabric of space/time. My guess is that when you passed through, you destabilised it forcing it to close again. It may be possible to re-open it in the future from this side.” Okay, this was sounding really good. “The only problem though, is that we don’t know exactly how to re-open the rift. It could quite easily, from what I’ve read, dissipate or shrink to the size of a pinprick.” My heart sank.

“That’s a pretty big problem, Twi,” I said.

“But every problem has a solution, Blade Star,” she countered encouragingly. “Besides, now that I’ve narrowed it down somewhat, the various other ponies Celestia assigned to help will be able to concentrate their efforts too. We’re bound to find a way to open it eventually.” My spirits lifted a little. We were then interrupted by Dash, who had followed Spike into the kitchen pretty much as soon as Twilight began to talk.

“Hey, guys! Spike says the fish is done.” We quickly headed to Twilight’s kitchen.

Spike was perched on a stool hovering over the stove. Two of the fish Dash had caught were frying in a pan on the flame. They both looked done to a turn. Using a spatula, Spike put one on each plate. Twilight defiantly refused to go near the dish. Dash placed hers on her back, whilst I encased mine in magic, and we both went to one of the tables in the library. Twilight quickly began to protest.

“Hey, these are reading tables, not dining tables you two!” She complained.

“Oh come on, Twilight,” I replied teasingly. “Think of this as one of your experiments. ‘Can Blade Star eat fish?’.” The librarian sighed in irritation. With that, me and Dash settled down. Spike kindly brought cutlery for us, though Dash seemed more than content to dive in.

It had been over a month since I had last eaten any kind of meat product. While there had been no physical side effects, I had been going through some kind of mental withdrawal process. If this came off, I wouldn’t have to worry about that any more.

I cut a small piece of the fish with my cutlery and brought it to my mouth. The smell reminded me of home, of fish and chip shops and Friday nights. Hay, if this worked I could introduce Dash to the traditional British fish and chips. I took a bite.

The taste was just as I remembered. Unlike with other meats, I did not feel any real sense of revulsion, though perhaps a little unease at eating such unusual cuisine in terms of a unicorn’s palate. Dash and Spike leaned forward expectantly, Dash even paused in her gorging. My gut began to rumble ominously, I began to feel unsteady. Was my body saying no? My compatriots had all left the table and taken shelter behind various book cases. Then, it happened.

I burped.

It came out like something Homer would do after drinking a pack of Duff beer. The slight queasiness went away and I felt completely normal again. I could eat fish. Off to the side I heard a sigh of relief from somepony.

“Well, mystery solved. I can eat fish,” I said happily. “Spike, think you can batter the other fish with breadcrumbs? I’ll introduce you to a great dish from my old world.” The dragon nodded eagerly. Dash on the other hand merely sniggered, probably at the sheer volume of my bodily function.

“Right, well, if you’re done with your ‘experimenting’, I need to head out now,” Twilight said, grabbing a pair of stuffed saddlebags.

“Oh, where to, Twilight?” I asked curiously as I finished the rest of my fish.

“I’m heading into the Everfree Forest. I need to go to where you and the others first arrived to take some readings. And I need to visit Zecora; I need to borrow something from her for our next lesson.” I remembered Discord’s botched riddle that suggested we do just that. I hadn’t really acted on it, as we had no idea at the time as to how we got here.

“Mind if I tag along? I might be able to help.” She nodded in approval, while Dash quickly excused herself, stating she had weather jobs to do. So, leaving Spike in charge of the library, the pair of us headed into the Everfree.

It had been a long time since I had been anywhere near the Everfree Forest. While the castle and its many artifacts were of interest to me, I was somewhat deterred by the constant threat of an untimely death on the journey. The nearest I had been was Fluttershy’s cottage to drop in on her and Lizzie. I certainly didn’t plan on going in there alone. Luckily though, I had Equestria's newest princess and one of the most magically powerful beings on the planet as a travelling companion. Said companion was currently doing what she did best.

“Okay, saddlebags, check. Scrolls, quills and ink, check. Magical dampeners, check. Supplies for Zecora, check. Copy of ‘A Guide to the Everfree’, check.” This continued for some time, still I was no better, so I could hardly complain. Finally, Twilight concluded her checklist, for the third time. “There we go, okay, let’s go, Blade Star.”

We crossed from the bright Equestrian day into the darkness created by the forest’s unusually thick canopy. The place, for all its dangers, was nonetheless remarkable. The various species of trees here could not be found anywhere else in Equestria, and unlike other varieties, did not share any real similarities with any trees found on Earth. I mean, I’ve never encountered a plant on Earth that could swallow a manticore whole.

Then of course, there were the many animals that called this forest home. I decided not to jab Twilight on the subject of Cockatrices. The biggest risk really was Timberwolves. Manticores and other larger beasts tended to stay much further inside the forest. Timberwolves however, would be attracted to us due to our small number, and they were known to frequently come right to the border, if not leave the Everfree on occasion to hunt. The trick would be knowing if we were being followed.

Still, if worst came to the worst, each of us had the magical equivalent of a high powered rifle strapped to our foreheads. Timberwolves in particular could be driven off by a show of force. If they felt you would take too much effort to kill, they’d slink off and leave you be.

“So, aside from going back to where you think this ‘rift’ may be, what else are we doing?” I asked Twilight.

“Well,” Twilight replied, “I need to quickly visit Celestia and Luna’s old castle to collect a few books. Then on the way back, I need to go see Zecora; I promised to pick up some supplies for her in Ponyville, and I need to borrow something from her too.” She gestured to her bulging saddlebags, they contained what looked like a number of plant extracts, bone fragments and other things a shaman may find useful.

The walk to the castle proved far easier than I expected. I certainly didn’t feel as spooked as I had the last time. Though to be fair, the last time, I had been getting to grips with a new body and explaining to my family that we were in what I thought to be a fictional world. Now, I was more than capable of protecting myself, and I had a good friend with me.

“So how’s the Apple family?” Twilight asked as we continued on.

“As good as can be expected I suppose,” I replied. “AJ’s got everything set up for winterising next week, Big Macintosh has hauled all the equipment back into the barns and Apple Bloom’s finally got tired of playing archery with the Crusaders. Ah think that arrow into the Zap Apple Jam storage was the straw that broke the pony’s back as far as Granny Smith was concerned.” The two of us sniggered to ourselves. “How about you? How’s the life of a royal and her dragon assistant?”

“I don’t know how Celestia and Luna cope. I don’t have that many duties to perform, but sometimes it feels like I’m back in school again. Plus, everypony doesn’t exactly agree with my informal approach to being a princess. Spike has been doing his best to help me adjust, and I’m certainly grateful for all the work he does at the library. These days, it’s almost as if he’s the librarian and I just live there.”

“So what, you want to abdicate then?” I asked half seriously.

“Oh, no, I’d never give up my responsibilities like that!” Twilight countered earnestly. “It’s just I’m still settling into the whole idea.”

With that, we came to the castle at last. I hadn’t had a chance to look inside here the last time, and this was one place I certainly wanted to visit. As we approached, I began to feel the uncomfortable side effects of the background dark magic. It was not as bad as before, but still noticeable. Like a haunted house, the place gave me the creeps. Twilight too was noticeably on edge. As we approached, I noticed our breath was forming vapour; the temperature was dropping. I began to fall back on old traditions.

“De profundis clamo ad te, domine. De profundis clamo ad te, domine.” I muttered in an effort to dispel whatever was around us and my own fears. I resisted the urge to screw my eyes shut in an effort to hide from whatever was here.

Then, just as suddenly as it had dropped, the temperature rose again. The uneasiness left us both and we began to relax. Whatever presence we had felt had decided to let us pass, or at least leave us alone. We walked through the huge doors into the throne room of the castle. Before us were the two ancient thrones from which Celestia and Luna once governed. And hanging above them were their banners; a blazing sun on an orange background for Celestia, and a crescent moon on a deep blue background for Luna. Rarity had tried to remove one of those before, and while I would love to get Luna’s banner (with her permission of course) I did not wish to get into a fight with this haunted house. Twilight led me up a side staircase toward the sisters’ private library.

“What was that, Blade Star?” Twilight asked with a sort of quiet awe.

“Not sure, Twilight. Ghosts maybe. Back on Earth that’s what they used to say if the temperature dropped suddenly. You notice how cold it got?” She shook her head.

“No, not the dark magic, I mean what you did; you dispelled it. I was about to use a light spell and you chanted something.”

“It’s Latin; supposedly it could drive off dark spirits,” I replied. Again Twilight shook her head.

“Anyway, we’re here now. Just give me five minutes to find these books. And don’t touch anything, Blade Star. The books in this library go straight from me to Canterlot, where they go to the Starswirl the Bearded Wing; the knowledge they hold is extremely dangerous.” In light of what happened the last time somepony ‘borrowed’ a book from here, I was not about to argue.

A short while later, Twilight had collected about half a dozen different tomes. A couple of them were too large to fit in her saddlebags, so she asked me to carry them. They were quite heavy and made their presence known when I placed them on my back. Much to my alarm, I noticed several of the books were sealed with a magic lock. According to Twilight only alicorn magic would release it.

We then headed out that same way we came in. Luckily we were not accosted by whatever dark spirits continued to haunt the castle’s halls and passageways. It was a remarkable building, if nothing else a testament to the construction abilities of the time, it was just such a shame that it remained contaminated after so long.

We then took a short walk to the place where me and my family had first arrived. I remembered the place well. It was easy enough to locate the right clearing; the whole area I noticed was covered with scorch marks, as if there had been some terrific heat. Twilight cast her horn aglow and began pacing around the area. It was almost like she was using a living metal detector, her horn seemed to glow brighter as she approached the spot I woke up in and where my family had been. She then took out a scroll and jotted down a few notes. Unfortunately, she could not pick up any trace of an active rift, just its dissipated energy. In other words, it was here, but if it still was, was anypony's guess.

The route we took back to Ponyville was a slight variation from our journey from it. We had to call upon Zecora for reasons Twilight did not make very clear. Other than the fact that she was dropping off supplies for the zebra shaman, I gleaned very little information from her. It was unlike her to be so tight lipped.

When we got to the small hut, which was adorned with various African style masks and other slightly ominous looking objects, Twilight asked me to remain outside. As you might expect, this only increased my confusions. I had been hoping to meet the enigmatic rhyming zebra too. Twilight then emerged with a small box, similar to something you might store precious jewellery in. Like the tomes, it was sealed with a magic lock.

We then began our trek back home. We actually came out not too far from Fluttershy’s. Twilight then said she was heading back to the library and that she would see me tomorrow for my first magic lesson since I had got back. I however, was still thinking about two things; one, why was she being so secretive all of a sudden. And two, I could eat fish, next Friday was fish and chips.

Chapter 44 - Stare Too Long into the Abyss

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I woke up to the one thing that is almost universally despised by all beings throughout the universe; a Monday morning. Today my lessons with Twilight resumed again. My trip to Canterlot had somewhat thrown off her schedule, so I was not entirely certain what I would be learning about today. Though, in light of her discovery yesterday, I was certain the subject of rifts and portals would soon come up.

Forcing myself out of my warm and comfortable bed, I opened the curtains and made the bed up. I can’t help it; I am just one of those ponies that needs everything to be clean, neat and tidy. I then popped to the bathroom down the hall and brushed my teeth. Trotting downstairs, I found Applejack on the stove. This was unusual in itself, typically Granny Smith made breakfast and most of the other meals.

“Mornin’ ‘Jack. Where’s Granny?” I asked as I attempted to shake the cobwebs. I received a yawn in reply.

“Oh, mornin’ Blade Star. Granny’s still in bed, come down with somethin’ awful. Big Mac’s gone into town to fetch Nurse Redheart.” That set alarm bells ringing.

“Nothin’ too serious is it?” I asked, a hint of worry in my voice. I did have some training with St John’s after all.

“Oh no don’t you worry, Bones,” AJ replied. “She just gets somethin’ in her system every now and then. Redheart gives her some medicine and she’s back on her hooves before you can say Zap Apples.” Even though we weren’t related, I did worry about the kind old mare. She was getting on in years now. But as Applejack said, she usually bounced back.

“Well, that’s good to hear,” I replied. I helped myself to an apple fritter on the table. “Ah’m headin’ out to Twilight’s; got some more magic lessons this week. She’s kinda annoyed since that trip threw her schedule out the window. Ah should be back for lunch.” I then headed out the kitchen door and set off for Ponyville.

Now, I knew for a fact that Ponyville was famous for its strange happenings. Over the past few years this small little hamlet had been the centre of an attempted coup, transformed into the chaos capital of the world, encased in a magical bubble, overrun by clones and had been reconstructed to be made entirely out of gems. So you can understand why the large shield around Golden Oaks Library didn’t really faze me.

The entire building was encased in a large purple shield. Presumably this was Twilight’s doing. The only unicorn I knew to be able to accomplish such a feat was Captain Shining Armour. The other possible candidates were all either in Canterlot, the Crystal Empire, or in the case of Discord, Celestia knows where. I realised that since his last visit in my previous magic lesson, the joker Draconequus had left me and my family alone. A trend I hoped would continue.

Walking up to the large bubble, I considered how to gain access. Perhaps I should try the simplest approach. I began to hammer on the surface of the construct with my hooves.

“Twilight! It’s me, open up!” I called loudly.

The front door to the library opened and said alicorn came out. When she saw me, her horn quickly flared and the shield partially opened, forming a sort of doorway. As I passed though the arch, I felt a spell of some variety activate and pass through me. As soon as I was through, the gap in the field immediately sealed itself shut again and I found myself hauled inside by Twilight’s telekinesis. Only when she had slammed the door behind us and double locked it, did she release me.

“What the hay, Twilight? You could have just said ‘come in,’” I said irritably.

“Sorry, Blade Star,” She answered sheepishly. “But we can’t be too careful today. The subject of our lesson is for your ears only. I had to be sure nopony could eavesdrop on us and I needed to be sure you weren’t an imposter.” Well, that explained the shield and the previously unknown spell.

“What’s so dicey then that you have to go all Royal Wedding on me then?” I asked. Twilight fixed me with a hard stare and looked me in the eye.

“Dark magic.”

Inside my mind my inner brony began chanting ‘yes yes yes yes yes yes’. While the various spells I had been studying these past weeks were extremely interesting and often incredibly useful, they weren’t exactly, well cool, as Dash would put it. It is an accepted fact that the bad guys always get the coolest toys, and magic was no exception. Nightmare Moon had the ability to move quickly and silently in her shadow form, Chrysalis had her mind control skills, and Sombra’s ability to bring to life somepony’s worst fears was even more impressive, never mind his own shadow form and ability to summon crystals.

All in all, skills that made great party pieces. Of course, there was the small matter of the corruptive nature of such spells. I now understood why Twilight felt such a strong need for security. She was evidently placing great faith in me by teaching this.

This turn of events also explained her unusual behaviour yesterday. The books were all on dark magic. That certainly explained the magic locks that could only be opened by four ponies in all of Equestria. This was something they certainly didn’t even teach at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.

“I asked the princesses if I could teach you some of the basics,” Twilight went on. “They agreed that it would be in your interests to learn how to defend yourself against dark magic. Since you know a fair bit about restricted magic already from that show, Celestia agreed the risk was low. But I still want you to Pinkie Promise not to discuss what you hear or see here today with anypony.” A wise precaution.

“Alright Twilight. Ah Pinkie Promise not to tell anypony what you teach me here today. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I made the various motions, this time not jabbing myself in the eye. Twilight smiled and nodded.

“Good, then we can get started,” she said.

The first part of Twilight’s lecture, which I shall refer to as ‘Defence against the Dark Arts’, was a basic introduction and covered roughly what I knew already. Dark magic was significantly more powerful than regular magic, even on par with chaos magic. However, it could be dispelled with enough effort and energy. In the cosmic balance, the two were in a perfect harmony, thus neither light nor dark was ever able to fully trump the other. The biggest danger with using dark magic was that it had an inevitable corrupting effect. A practitioner could very easily lose themselves in their newfound power. The old saying on the subject of power and corruption never rang truer. Any such use then, had to be brief and limited.

As for fighting or reversing dark magic, that was something usually left up to royalty, who possessed the necessary magical reserves. However, it was possible for a unicorn such as myself to resist some of the effects. Hypnosis, which was the first step in a mind control spell for example, could be negated by an awareness of being hypnotised. If the target suspected it, the spell would almost instantly degrade and fail. A hypnosis spell also required willingness to an extent. So, by keeping up my guard, I could reduce the effect and prevent the spell from progressing to the actual control level.

A similar defence could be used for spells such as Sombra’s unique ability. The need and willingness to face your fears could override this spell. By facing up to it, rather than attempting to hide, the spell had nothing to work with and would shut down.

The more advanced forms however, such as transfiguration, were all but impossible for a unicorn to defend against. In that case, my best bet was to fire one of my own spells, any spell would do, in an attempt to get out of range. Toe to toe, it would be like a BB gun against a freight train.

We then began to practice such defensive technique. Twilight would use low level dark magic and alicorn magic, which itself incorporated elements of dark magic, and I would attempt to defend myself.

“Alright Blade Star, are you ready?” Twilight called from across the library floor. I nodded, bracing myself for the oncoming storm. “Okay, first spell will be hypnosis. Bring yourself out of the trance and fire a stun spell back at me.” Again, I nodded. With that, Twilight fired a green tinted blast of magic. The spell seemed to home in on me. As soon as it drew near the spell split into two parts and flew straight at my eyes. I shut my eyes both as a reflex and in an effort to protect myself from the spell. It did little good. In that final second, I tried to focus my mind, I had to remember that I was being hypnotised.

I opened my eyes; nothing had changed. I was still in the library, I felt, well, normal and after briefly glancing in the mirror my eyes weren’t all weird and swirly. Had something gone wrong? I’d seen this done before, both by Discord using his chaos magic and Chrysalis, neither of them tallied with what was happening now.

“Twilight, I think something’s gone wrong. The spell hasn’t kicked in,” I said. “You sure you did it right?” I was quickly cut off by Twilight, who rapped a hoof on the floor before speaking.

“Blade Star, be quiet.” And with that, I shut my mouth and kept it shut.

Hang on.

Why was I still being quiet? Why did I feel compelled not to say anything unless Twilight asked me to? It was strange. I wasn’t ‘under’ as they put it. I was aware of what was happening; I wasn’t drooling and after another check in the mirror, my eyes were still fine. So what the hay was wrong? I decided that I had better go splash some water on my face. I wanted to ask Twilight, but I remembered that she had asked me not to speak. So, I just headed for the stairs. Twilight banged her hoof again.

“Blade Star, stay where you are.” Instantly, I stopped dead in my tracks. What the hay was happening? My thinking process was becoming more and more laboured. Finally though, far in the back of my mind, an alarm bell, very quietly began to ring out. Something was off, very off. Then it hit me.

Hypnosis! That’s what this was. Twilight’s spell had worked, she’d put me under; that’s why I couldn’t think clearly. And the longer I was like this, the less control I would have. Almost instantly, my mind cleared and dozens of alarm bells began to ring. I quickly turned to the alicorn and fired a burst in her direction. Of course, it was only a minor stun spell and did her no harm. Twilight smiled as I regained my remaining faculties.

“Well done, Blade Star. You got out of that in less than five minutes,” she said, a hint of pride in her voice. “Although I suppose that could be attributed to the fact that you knew that I was going to hypnotise you.”

“That was just plain weird, Twilight,” I replied. “Ah was hypnotised, but ah didn’t feel it, not until a few moments before ah broke the spell.” Twilight smiled.

“That’s the point, Blade Star. Hypnosis is designed to go unnoticed by its victim. The key is picking up on what is happening and questioning yourself.”

“So what now then?” I asked.

“Now you try to hypnotise somepony. You need to fully understand how the spell works in order to properly counter it.” I nodded in understanding. “The key thing you need to do when forming the spell is to weave in a trigger; something that will activate the hypnosis. It can be a phrase, a gesture, or even tactile contact. But it must be specific.”

“So what trigger did you use?” I asked.

“Did you notice how I tapped my hoof on the floor before speaking?” I nodded in understanding. An idea for a trigger quickly came to me.

“Okay Twilight, ah have a trigger. Who am ah hypnotising?”

“Spike!” Twilight called. Her dragon assistant waddled into the main part of the library.

“Erm, yes Twilight?” He said uneasily.

“We need your help with something as part of Blade Star’s magic training,” she said.

“But, I thought you told me you were working on dark magic today, no way am I getting involved with that stuff.” Twilight sighed.

“Spike, I promise you it’s perfectly safe. I’d never let anything bad happen to you. There are more sapphires in it for you too,” she offered. Faced with his Achilles heel, Spike quickly agreed. “Okay Blade Star, do it.” And so, feeling somewhat sorry for the unfortunate Spike, I hit him with a hypnosis spell.

Unlike my own experience of hypnosis, Spike’s eyes briefly changed to swirling green orbs. I guess the spell prevents the target from noticing. Twilight instructed me to have Spike perform a few basic tasks. I switched my voice to a slight Irish tint, as specified in my spell.

“Spike, would you kindly…”

After bringing Spike out of the minor trance, Twilight promptly hoofed over the gems she had promised him and left him in peace. We decided not to mention the fact that I had made him sing one of the many secret love songs he had written for Rarity.

Twilight refused to even consider subjecting me to the mentally damaging ‘fear spell’ that had been Sombra’s forte. However, she did include it as part of the lesson. While the effect it had had on both her and Spike during the siege of the Crystal Empire had been upsetting, it was not too bad. Her concern was that, as I came from a less pleasant world, the spell might unearth some traumatic fears and bring them out. She did not want to traumatise her own magic student.

And of course, the counter to such an attack was not really something you could teach. The spell effectively forced its target to face themselves and their own perceived flaws and fears; there is no worse opponent. Accepting our own flaws and facing our own fears was something that we had to do alone. Sombra’s style of magic however, was on the agenda.

“Right, now Blade Star. You remember the shadow magic King Sombra used?” I nodded, thinking back to Season Three. “That is high level dark magic, not even I could pull it off as a unicorn.”

“So how are you going to teach me to control it then if I can’t use it?” Twilight went down into her basement, quickly she returned with the sealed box she had taken from Zecora’s. With a quick burst of alicorn magic, she opened it. Inside was a very dangerous piece of jewellery. It was a silver necklace with a shining red ruby in its centre. Carved into it, was a pony’s head, with a horn and wings; the Alicorn Amulet.

“I presume you know what this is?” She asked, holding up the dangerous artifact.

“The Alicorn Amulet,” I answered. “You confiscated it from Trixie the last time she was here.” Twilight smiled and nodded.

“Good. Put it on.”

What?

“What?” I asked dumbfounded.

“Put the amulet on, Blade Star,” Twilight repeated. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Princess Twilight, with all due respect,” I said, still hoping I had misheard her. “HAVE YOU GONE COMPLETELY INSANE?!” I promptly covered my mouth with a hoof and splayed my ears.

“Don’t worry, Blade Star. You’ll be perfectly safe,” She reassured me.

“Perfectly safe? If ah put that thing ‘round my neck, only ah can get it off. And with the amulet’s power, ah won’t want to. How is that ‘perfectly safe’?” I demanded.

“You’re with an alicorn, Blade Star. This thing might be able to beat a unicorn, but it’s still no match for an actual alicorn.” She seemed remarkably sure of herself. I began to turn the idea over in my head.

“Twilight are you really sure you’ll be able to keep a lid on this?” I asked finally. My teacher sighed in irritation.

“Oh, for the love of Pete!” With that, she put the amulet around my neck and locked it on.

I had expected something to happen, anything really; the amulet to glow, menacing clouds forming in the sky, lightning, maybe ominous cackling. But there was nothing, I didn’t even feel any different; in spite of the fact I now had magical potential on par with an alicorn.

“Right, let’s get started,” she said.

For the next half hour or so, I practiced using and countering spells I would usually not even be able to consider casting. I’d say the best part of the whole lesson was the transfiguration session. All told I probably turned a good two dozen books into a variety of human objects for Twilight to study. It was just all so fantastically easy and simple, no harder to perform than a basic levitation. Just for the fun of it, I teleported myself all over the library as I worked. Then of course there was the shadow magic itself. I must say, turning myself into a non-corporeal being was an interesting experience.

Of course, at the back of my mind, I was worried about what this amulet was quietly doing to my psyche; I’d always considered myself megalophobic and the idea of ‘unlimited power’ around my neck gave me pause. Still, I kept on performing various high level spells.

Finally though, came the test. Unbeknownst to me, this was the true purpose of the whole exercise.

“Okay Blade Star,” Twilight said. “You can take the amulet off now. Time to be a normal unicorn again.” I’d been preparing for this since we began; I was certainly determined not to be taken in as Trixie had been. Nevertheless, when Twilight said we were done, I encountered a problem.

I didn’t want to give up the amulet.

I mean, I’d proved I could use it responsibly after all, hadn’t I? My eyes hadn’t turned red, I hadn’t bought a cheap black cape and I certainly had no desire to take over Ponyville. Who knows, the amulet may very well be the key to opening the rift in the Everfree and getting my family home. Hay, it may even allow me to stabilise the rift; make a permanent link between my old world and Equestria.

“Erm actually Twilight, do you mind if ah just borrow it for a while?” I asked hopefully. Twilight quickly caught on.

“No Blade Star, you don’t want to borrow it. Remember what the amulet does to ponies who use it for too long.” She kept her voice even and calm, also flaring her horn in a veiled threat. “The amulet is trying to draw you in, make you addicted to the power it grants. You need to be able to resist this kind of dark magic.”

I found myself in two minds. On the one hand, there was nothing wrong with me; I wasn’t showing signs of corruption as far as I could tell. But on the other hand, this amulet was dangerous and needed to be kept under lock and key, not around my neck.

“Twilight, please,” I said. “Just let me see if ah can open the rift in the Everfree with this. Ah’ll give it back then ah swear.”

Blade Star, look at your eyes and tell me that the amulet isn’t corrupting you.” She placed a mirror in front of me. To my horror, my eyes had, instead of turning red, taken on a frightening look similar to Sombra. Strange purple magic oozed from my eyes, which were now green with red irises instead of white and with brown irises and a twisted grin formed on my muzzle. The frighteningly evil looking visage snapped me out of the horseapples I had been spewing. Crying out in surprise, I unlatched the amulet and threw it on the floor. As my breathing calmed, Twilight placed a hoof on my shoulder.

“Well done Blade Star,” She said, hugging me. I was still a little shaken by what I saw.

“What the hay happened to my eyes just now?” I asked.

“It’s the effect of dark magic; it did the same thing to your horn too. You looked a lot like King Sombra actually.” I hadn’t noticed any change in my horn. Then again, as soon as I’d seen the grin and the look in my eyes I’d removed the amulet, breaking the spell. “It’s actually a very low level spell, mainly cosmetic; a side effect really of higher level magic. Though it can be created just for cosmetic effect too. A lot of ponies use spells like it for Nightmare Night. I figured it might snap you out of it.” A thought occurred to me.

“Hey, maybe ah could go as Sombra this year,” I said. “My coat is about the right colour, and if that dark magic spell is really low level then ah should be alright to use it for one night.” I began planning. I’d need a large red robe, some armour for my hooves and chest, as well as a crown. Twilight suddenly started.

“Oh shoot! I was supposed to pick up my costume today as well. Blade Star, do you mind if we cut this lesson short?” She asked, her ears already drooping at the prospect. I replied that I didn’t mind. After this particularly taxing lesson, I was more than happy to head home early. Plus, I now knew what I wanted to go as for Nightmare Night.

Chapter 45 - Nightmare Night - Part 1

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I was standing in my room back on Sweet Apple Acres, the setting sun cast long shadows across the floor. In another half hour or so it would officially be Nightmare Night, Equestria’s answer to All Hallows Eve. I’d been running around for a couple days in preparation.

Ever since my most recent magic lesson, where I had inadvertently stumbled on the very basic spell that caused my eyes and horn to alter, I had settled on my costume choice. Tonight, I was not a human turned unicorn, currently stranded in Equestria. No, tonight I was King Sombra, ruler of the Crystal Empire, terror of the Frozen North. Amongst the various items I had had to acquire to pull this off was of course, a long red robe with a white border. This elegant and surprisingly comfortable piece of clothing had been acquired from Rarity, who had been taking orders for Nightmare Night.

After acquiring that, I had headed over to the post office in Ponyville to send off for the armour set I would also need. This included a strong metal chest piece and four armoured horseshoes with cuffs. These would be acquired from a specialised metal works in Baltimare, whose main customer was the Royal Guard.

The last piece was Sombra’s signature crown. This was actually made by me, Big Mac and Spike. The design was extremely ornate, particularly in comparison with the other pieces of armour. It started as a single silver band, which of course had to be made up to fit my own head. Spike heated the metal to a malleable temperature, and then Big Mac and I formed it into the correct shape in the barn. We then cooled it, and ensured that it was a good fit. All that remained then was to weld on the various parts onto the crown. To that end, Spike availed himself as a welding torch.

All of these things were now placed on my bed in front of me. And with the sun just dipping below the horizon, all I had to do was put it on.

I started with the chest piece of the armour, the most difficult. Were I not a unicorn, it would have been impossible without help as all the clasps were on the back. These of course would be hidden by the red cape that helped mark Sombra out as a monarch. The cape actually came next as it fitted over the chest armour. With that fastened around my neck, my cutie mark and almost all of my tail was obscured. My movement was also a little restricted as the armour wrapped around my neck. My tail of course, along with my mane had been dyed black, though I couldn’t quite get the shadow look. I had dyed them an hour earlier; I didn’t want to risk sullying the costume, least of all the cape, with black dye.

The horseshoes and armoured cuffs were the most trying. While it was easy enough to slip the first horseshoe on, each became progressively difficult as the shoes made it difficult to grab things. Once again I cheated and used a spot of telekinesis. Once on, they were not as restrictive as the main armour, they did make my hooves feel a bit heavier, and the cold metal sent chills up my legs each time they touched my skin.

Now came the final step, the ‘dark magic’ look. I moved to the mirror in the corner of my room. Using the spell Twilight had taught me, I allowed the smallest amount of dark magic to manifest. This was barely even readable as dark magic, being only 0.15 above the background level. At once, the strange bubbling purple and green mix that was dark magic enveloped my horn. This quickly spread to my eyes as well, which turned almost white. When everything cleared, my horn had transformed into a sort of inverted fang that was grey at the base and grew redder as you reached the tip. My eyes now oozed a strange purple cloud and my irises became red. To complete the effect, I inserted a pair of fangs into the roof of my mouth.

All that remained was the crown. I certainly looked the part. With that placed carefully atop my head, I was the spitting image of the dethroned tyrant of not so long ago. Smiling into the mirror, I said the one thing that came to mind.

“Crystals.”

With my costume complete, I headed downstairs. Applejack was going to spend the entirety of the festival with me. The event seemed as good an opportunity as any to test the waters regarding matters of the heart. AJ hadn’t told me what she would be going as this year when I asked her, stating that it was a surprise. Naturally, I kept silent on my own costume in kind. Big Mac would once again be looking after the hay rides, his strength allowed him to pull the heavy cart filled with cheering foals all night long.

Apple Bloom had also been unusually cagey on her costume choice. I had managed to learn that she was working in concert with the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but little else. It seemed as if everypony was holding their cards close to their chest this year.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I could see Applejack in the kitchen; she was finishing the last of the candied apples. Now, while I am not usually a prankster by nature, it was Nightmare Night. So, very quietly, I began to sneak up on the cowpony. This was not an easy feat due to the metal armour that I wore. However, she seemed quite occupied with her work, so she didn’t notice my approach.

I managed to sneak right behind her. Holding my position for a moment, she continued to busy herself with culinary delights. Then I struck. I’d managed to achieve a pretty decent impersonation of Sombra’s raspy voice. It’s difficult when there is so little dialogue to work with.

“Crystal slaves,” I rasped menacingly.

Applejack glanced behind and instantly spotted me. I’ve never seen the colour drain from somepony’s face so quickly. After all, I was a spitting image of the dead king and she’d come face to face with the genuine article. Applejack immediately screamed in fright. I’d expected her to bolt or fall over herself in an attempt to escape. But this was Applejack. Instead I made two new friends; Bucky McGillycuddy and ‘Kicks’ McGee.

Applejack delivered her signature applebuck clean into me, with both hooves. Needless to say, I went flying. I may have also seen a few stars. The defensive move left me laid out on the floor. Miraculously, nothing seemed to be broken and no blood had been drawn. I groaned slightly as I got back to my hooves.

“Ooh, dammit, that smarts,” I complained. AJ quickly realised her mistake.

“Oh hayseed! Blade Star ah’m so sorry! Are you okay?” She was instantly fussing over me like a mother hen.

“Ah’m fine, ‘Jack. Ah’m fine,” I replied, gingerly rubbing my snout. “That’s what ah get for tryin’ to sneak up on you.” Applejack took a closer look at my costume.

“That is a mighty fine costume there. When ah saw you, I thought for a moment you were the real deal.” Her eyes then drifted to my own and my horn. “Er, Sugarcube, not to be rude or nothin’, but what the hay is up with your horn and your eyes?” I smiled.

“Well, ah figured if ah was gonna go as Sombra, ah was gonna do it right. It’s the tiniest bit of dark magic, perfectly safe, so don’t you worry none.” Applejack looked a bit concerned for my safety but otherwise accepted it. “Anyway, where’s your costume, festival starts in half an hour.”

“Just finishin’ up these candied apples, Blade Star.” She turned off the stove. “Shoot, ah might as well get it done now.” With that she headed upstairs to her room to change.

Applejack, in the manner of mares, was upstairs for quite some time. She had not dropped me a single hint on what her costume might be. I’d loved her scarecrow costume from last year. It then dawned on me that I didn’t really know what anypony was going as this year. Twilight had dashed off to collect hers before I had a chance to ask her, and the subject hadn’t really come up in conversation with anypony else. I wasn’t even sure what my own family were doing.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door opening upstairs. At last the elusive Applejack emerges! What I saw, well, it surprised me to say the least.

Standing at the top of the stairs was Applejack alright, but in a light I’d never seen her in. Her costume for the evening was a long flowing red dress, clearly one of Rarity’s designs. To say it was alluring would be an understatement. On her hooves were two pairs on equally red high heeled shoes. Around her neck was a small but nonetheless noticeable gold necklace, with a small golden apple hanging from the chain. Finally, she had forgone her usual Stetson. Instead, she had let her mane out of her typical ponytail, her actual tail was concealed under the dress, and had let it simply flow down her neck and across her back.

At that point, my brain’s higher functions pretty much cut out on me. I may not be looking for love but the way she was gussied up, it was impossible not to stare.

Not that I was checking her out or anything. I’m a gentlecolt after all.

“Well, Sugarcube. What do you thing?” she asked. Coherent thought was still difficult for me, never mind coherent speech. Hence:

“Err, wow.” AJ cocked an eyebrow at me and began to walk down the stairs. This only further frazzled my mind. Suffice it to say, you had to be there to describe it. As she reached me, I caught the scent of fine perfume on her.

“Ah thought ah might try goin’ this year as one of those fancy ponies from Manehatten,” she said. “Do you like it?” My mind instantly responded ‘Fleur ain’t got nothin’ on you!’ and proceeded to wolf whistle. Luckily, my mind was still unable to get my mouth to do as it wished. So a few seconds later, when I had collected myself, I managed to churn out:

“Yeah, you look great.” I instantly misinterpreted my own comment and began to blush. With a King Sombra costume on, I must have looked pretty foalish. Desperately, I sought to move things along. “Well, er, how about we head on out?” AJ nodded and we headed out for town.

The festivities were already in full swing by the time we got to Ponyville. We’d left Granny Smith back at the farmhouse this time around. As Applejack had predicted, she’d quickly fought off whatever she’d come down with, though Nurse Redheart insisted that she rest up for a couple more days to allow her immune system to properly reassert itself.

The centre of town was bustling with all sorts of stalls, from all sorts of foodstuffs, such as the ones the Apple family had provided to haunted houses and of course the costume contests for the kids. While I didn’t mind dressing up for Nightmare Night, I figured I was a bit old to be entering costume contests.

We quickly ran into Twilight, who was helping Mayor Mare manage the various events. She’d gone for an unusual costume; a pony who was both real, and yet did not exist; A.K. Yearling. She’d dyed her coat the same tan colour as the author and wore a similar purple cloak and grey hat. A pair of oversized reading glasses sat upon her snout. Standing with her was of course the mayor, who was reprising her clown costume, along with Spike.

Spike too had put a lot of effort in this year. In exact opposite to his choice last year, this time he wore the suit of armour of a knight of yore. An oversized helmet covered his head, though he had rigged the visor open. I recalled a friend of mine who’d dressed up as Master Chief once. The only way he could communicate was by Bluetooth headset. That was slightly creepy.

“Howdy, Spike. Hey, Twilight,” Applejack said, as we walked up to the trio. “Evening Mayor.” Twilight looked up from whatever she was discussing.

“Oh hi, Applejack. Nice costume….AHHH!” Twilight spotted me. “Blade Star? Is that you?”

“In the flesh,” I replied, mimicking Sombra’s voice. “Didn’t scare you did I?” Spike began to giggle quietly to himself. Twilight simply blushed in embarrassment.

“Cool costumes you guys,” Spike said. “What do you think?” I was tempted to mention something about St George and his encounter with dragons, but since Spike was a youngster, I decided to keep my snarkyness in check. As for AJ though.

“You gonna be somepony’s knight in shining armour then, Spike?” She asked mischievously. “Ah think ah saw her over by the hay rides.” The little drake promptly took off. Twilight was still embroiled in preparations for the arrival of the guest of honour, so we left her and the mayor to it and went looking for everypony else.

Walking over to some of the stalls in the marketplace we quickly spotted my parents. Whilst they were not in costume, they certainly appeared to be having a good time. I just hoped against hope that my dad wouldn’t find the dance contest; he makes Twilight appear talented.

“Hi Mom, hi Dad,” I called. My dad quickly spotted Applejack and myself.

“And who are you supposed to be, Bones?” My father asked. “More to the point what’s the matter with your eyes, you pick up an infection or something?”

“It’s just part of the disguise, Dad. A sign of King Sombra’s dark magic.” My dad thought for a moment.

“You’ve mentioned him before at some point I think,” he replied. Back on Earth, I had, perhaps cruelly, lectured my parents on my understanding of Equestrian history. Naturally, the Crystal Empire came up. Perhaps some of it had actually sunk in.

“Sombra is a Spanish word though isn’t it?” My mother chipped in. “I think it means shadow or something like that.” That I oddly didn’t know; it certainly fitted with Sombra as a character though.

“If you say so, Mom,” I replied. “So what are you two doing out here tonight?”

“Me and your father are keeping an eye on some of the kids for their parents. Somepony has to stay at home to pass out sweets. Plus I heard Granny Smith was a bit under the weather, so I got your father to help. I think we’re both a bit too old for costumes though.” Applejack turned to me.

Blade Star, ah’m just gonna go get us somethin’ to eat, okay?” I nodded and Applejack headed off toward some of the food stands. It was difficult not to stare, just a little.

“Anyway,” My father went on, oblivious to my distraction. “Things are getting busy at the castle too, Christmas isn’t too far away. They’re planning on starting the decorating in a week or so.” He realised I wasn’t paying him much attention. “Are you listening to me, Bones? Or were you looking at the mare in the red dress?” I started, realising I had been caught.

“Sorry, dad what were you…” He cut me off.

“Look again.”

I turned around to find something right in my face. The being proceed to shout ‘boo’ loudly enough to make me jump a foot in the air and land on my flank. I looked up and was confronted with an, unusual costume.

Believe it or not, it was a human, or at least a crude rendition of one. The clothes had clearly been borrowed from my dad but the body itself was definitely home-made. The legs were a load of tin cans stacked on top of each other and stuck together. After that, at waist height, I met a pair of eyes. This was followed by another pair at chest height, which seemed to be in control of the arms and another pair behind a mask at the head.

“Nightmare Night!” chanted the first one.

“What a fright!” said the second.

“Give us something sweet to bite!” finished the last.

“Alright you three, you got me,” I said good naturedly, getting to my hooves. “Now who’s who?” The costume opened so we could all see all three Crusaders. At the bottom, evidently in control of the legs was Apple Bloom. Standing on her shoulders was Sweetie Belle, her forelegs stretched to control the two stick arms. And standing on top of her was Scootaloo who was evidently giving directions.

“Isn’t it great, Blade Star? Your sister and Lyra helped us make it.” The fact that Lyra was responsible for creating a human costume did not surprise me in the least. As for Lizzie, I was surprised she wasn’t hanging out with the Crusaders, or at least with our parents.

“Where is Lizzie anyway?” I asked,

“Oh she’s staying in tonight with Fluttershy,” My mom replied. “You know how nervous she gets on Nightmare Night.” That sounded like Lizzie alright. While we had our share of disagreements, she was a pretty selfless person, a lot like Fluttershy actually, minus the shyness of course.

When Applejack returned with snacks all around our little group went its’ separate ways. My parents and the Crusaders walked, or in the case of the Crusaders, shuffled off to the costume contest. As we ambled about we naturally came across the rest of our friends. While small towns can be annoying for their gossiping, it is nice to know everypony around you and to feel safe enough to leave your kitchen door open at night. Plus, gossiping is only bad if it happens to you, otherwise you learn some really interesting and occasionally dirty secrets.

But I digress.

We spotted Rainbow Dash cruising around the area. Once again she’d ‘borrowed’ a storm cloud and was using it to scare the living daylights out of anypony unfortunate enough to catch her attention. This year, perhaps predictably, she had gone as her favourite adventurer; Daring Do. Two thoughts struck me; since Twilight was A.K Yearling, was Dash copying her and vice versa, and secondly, since Daring was a real and very much alive pony as opposed to a character, did it count as copyright infringement? Maybe those two would get a ‘Cease and Desist’ from Daring’s publishers.

Rarity was able to actually attend this year. The previous year she had taken on so many Nightmare Night orders that, according to Applejack, she had finished on the very night and proceeded to fall asleep in the middle of her shop. This year though, she had paced herself and not taken on as much, allowing her to attend the festivities. Her costume was something along the lines of Frankenstein’s monster, or whatever the pony equivalent was. She’d done an excellent job; it looked as if she really was sewn together.

Then of course, there was Pinkie Pie. Nopony had seen her all night, and she had been secretive about her costume, since she too was entering the contest. Her secrecy was to such an extent, that even Rarity with all her gossip had no clue. I however, was in on her plan and was to be part of her act. The crowd parted and we were able to spot her. She walked towards us calmly; her demeanour was almost serene.

Her outfit was reminiscent of the pre-Hearth’s Warming period or pre-classical era to use the correct terminology, around the time of Starswirl the Bearded. She wore a dirt brown robe with a hood attached that covered most of her face. Wrapped around her neck was a small length of rope, which held the hood properly in place. Finally, protruding from beneath the hood was a noticeable horn. Pinkie was playing Clover the Clever, the exact opposite of my own guise. She was good, whilst I was evil. Preparing for the first part of our little charade, I switched my voice to mimic Sombra.

“I’ve been waiting for, dear Clover. We meet again at last.” Pinkie fixed me with a piercing gaze. “The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but a learner, now I am the master.” Without hesitation, Pinkie replied.

“Only a master of evil, Sombra.” With that, she somehow let off a magic blast. I was able to dodge it easily enough and send back a volley of my own, tinted red for effect. We began to circle each other.

“Your powers are weak, my dear,” I said menacingly. Pinkie continued to stare me down.

“You can’t win, Sombra,” she replied. “If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” She let off another shot. By this time, a crowd had predictably gathered around us two duelling warriors of yore.

We continued to exchange volley after volley, neither of us gaining the advantage. I had no clue where Pinkie was gaining her own abilities from. The horn on her head looked to be simply rolled up card coloured pink. She also lacked an aura, the blasts seemed to simply come from the tip of her horn and were light blue/green colour, and caused the air to buzz with each shot.

Twilight evidently was not in the loop though, and looked on with a mixture of fascination and plain outright confusion. Even by Pinkie’s standards this was weird. How was she able to use magic? Our duel paused briefly, Pinkie glanced to Twilight. The look on her face became serene and accepting. It was time for the final act.

The glow around the tip of her horn ceased and I took advantage of her moment of weakness. A blast caught her clean in her chest. But instead of going down as she ought to, though the spell was of course merely a light show, she simply vanished. A puff of smoke and her cloak crumpled to the floor empty.

“No!” Twilight wailed, in perhaps actual fright.

I advanced forward to where the empty cloak lay, prodding it a few times with a hoof to be sure. Then in the manner of villain, I let off an evil laugh that resonated around the square.

What can I say, I’m British; playing the villain comes naturally to me. The only question remaining now was where Pinkie had gotten to.

“Pinkie? Pinkie Pie?!” Twilight began calling out worriedly. “Blade Star, what did you do?” In an attempt to dispel her fears, I switched my voice to my normal accent. Even King Sombra is not scary when his voice is reminiscent of Braeburn.

“Don’t worry, Twilight. It’s just a bit of fun. She’ll turn up in a minute.”

“Did you miss me?” said a voice from behind,

Naturally, I cried out in surprise at Pinkie’s sudden return. The mare, minus her costume of course, had appeared directly behind me and was bouncing with barely contained excitement.

“Wow that was really fun, Blade Star! I didn’t know you were that good. Do you like my costume? Oh, wait, it’s over there.” She giggled and quickly redressed herself. “Oh, oh, I have the perfect Nightmare Night present for you.

Pulling her present from some unknown space, she stuck it on my head. Whatever it was, it fitted over my crown and my horn, completely obscuring my vision.

“Erm, Pinkie darling,” Rarity said cautiously. “Why have you put a sombrero on Blade Star’s head?” My inner brony was by this point rolling around on the floor, laughing hysterically. Without giving Rarity an answer, Pinkie then grabbed me by the foreleg and, to the confusion of all concerned, dragged me halfway across town to the library. Going straight through the front door, she brought me to a halt at the far end of the main room. I pushed the sombrero back.

She’d brought me to a flight of goddamn stairs. My inner brony continued to laugh and roll around on the floor of my mind with abandon. Pinkie of course, simply continued to bound around with excitement.

“Alright Pinkie, alright.” I said, “Now you’ve shown me this, will you answer my and Twilight’s questions?” She nodded. “First of all, where did that magic come from?” Pinkie removed the card covering on her horn to reveal a certain useful tool.

“Time Turner let me borrow his screwdriver. He told me it could do lasers and stuff!” She replied.

Before we could ask any more questions though, we were interrupted. Lighting flashed across the heavens and rolling thunder echoed across the landscape. The sky began to turn black, blotting out the light of the moon as clouds formed all around. I quickly removed my new headwear. We all headed outside. In that sense Pinkie’s little display had been quite useful for getting everypony together.

As we all stood looking up at the sky, a bright flash of light erupted from the centre of the storm and the wind intensified. Out of the eye came a dark chariot, flying at speed. Three guesses who was on board. I turned to my father.

“By the prickling of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes,” I said, smiling.

“Silly, Blade Star,” Pinkie replied. “You don’t have thumbs!”

Chapter 46 - Nightmare Night - Part 2

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The chariot swooped over our heads, making a long pass over the town. I’d always favoured Luna’s gothic style chariot over Celestia’s. I never really bought into all that gold and baubles. At the head of the contraption were two of the Lunar Guard’s famous Thestrals, or bat ponies as some preferred to call them. Even at their altitude, their golden eyes could be seen clearly as they searched for a suitable spot. Finally, in an excellent display of piloting skills, the chariot wheeled around and came to a hover just above the square. Its occupant then disembarked.

She floated down to the ground, using her large wings to glide and sideslip. It looked as if she was drifting down, like a leaf. She was just as tall as Celestia, though of course, her coat was black instead of Celestia’s white. Her head was encased in a blue helmet, clearly not an ornate piece of ceremony; but something intended for battle. Similar armour was around her chest and hooves, each baring the symbol of the moon. Her illusion spell had come a long way. She’d even got the eyes right this time.

“I am Nightmare Moon!” Luna bellowed, her false fangs glinting in the moonlight. “If you ponies wish to live to see the sun rise you shall appease my wrath with an offering!” The dark alicorn cackled manically then flared her horn and vanished in a teleport. Silence prevailed.

“Right, so, what was that now?” my father asked hesitantly,

“What, weren’t you listening?” I replied, a grin on my face. “That was Nightmare Moon, the alter ego of Princess Luna. Legend says that on this night she breaks free of her prison and looks for ponies to consume. So, we put on a disguise to protect ourselves and appease her with an offering.”

“So, should we be worried?” asked Mum half concerned, I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“No, it’s all a bit of fun. It’s really Luna with a disguise spell; the foals give her candy that’s all. She’ll be back in a minute I expect, she enjoys talking with the ponies here.” My parents both remained slightly befuddled. “Just take the foals to that statue out by the forest. Luna will give them a little scare and then they can all come back here.”

Hesitantly, my parents headed off with a large group of foals. Even after being here for over a month, they were still not fully acclimated to the strange way Equestria worked. They understood that it was all just for fun, I think. But with only a limited knowledge of history to hand, and a strange and somewhat frightening alicorn turning up on their doorstep, I suppose tonight would be a little unsettling.

With most of the colts and fillies, as well as few of the adults now off taking offerings to Nightmare Moon, Ponyville was significantly quieter. That meant shorter lines for all the game stalls. Very quickly, Applejack and I decided we’d go and have a bat. I certainly wouldn’t mind trying my hoof at launching a massive pumpkin through the air.

The games were set up not too far from the library. Aside from the square, it was one of the few places in town that had a large amount of space around it. Set up on what could possibly be called the library’s front lawn, were the pumpkin catapults. About thirty feet down range were the targets, each one about the size of the pumpkin.

“Well, AJ, fancy a few flings?” I asked.

“Sure, Sugarcube,” she replied. “It’s been ages since ah’ve had a go at this.”

We each trotted up to one of the large catapults. The pony operating the devices would calibrate the launchers for us. On command, we could alter the direction, power and elevation of the launcher. In effect, it was a very simplistic artillery platform. At first, you might see this as somewhat wasteful too; all those pumpkins being smashed to bits. It actually was quite a money maker though, as it allowed the pumpkins to be broken up into more manageable pieces that helped to make the many foodstuffs.

Applejack was surprisingly skilled. I suppose all those games she plays with Apple Bloom when they’re doing their chores together had improved her aim. My ability though, left something to be desired. We each had five goes to land our pumpkins on the target. When we had finished, Applejack’s target was almost beaten flat, having taken five direct hits. Mine though was still standing; the whole area around the target was covered with pumpkin remains, but not a bit had reached the actual target.

“Dammit,” I muttered irritably at my inability.

“Well, well. And here was me thinking a pony who lived in a barn could at least hit the broadside of one,” said a voice. I didn’t need to turn around; I’d recognise the voice of that slippery serpent anywhere. And here was I hoping he would leave us alone for a while.

“Discord,” I said, irritation clear in my voice.

“Oh my, this is precious,” he continued, sidling about me. “I’d say that’s most of your ego down the drain, Blade Star.” He chuckled to himself.

“My ego is perfectly fine,” I replied, gritting my teeth. “And at least it isn’t overinflated, unlike some folks ah know.”

“Oh you wound me, dear boy,” he countered. “You haven’t even looked at my costume yet. Love your impersonation of crystal-for-brains by the way.”

Sighing to myself, I turn to face my chaotic tormentor. He was indeed in disguise, of sorts. For the most part, he appeared quite normal. At least as normal as the spirit of chaos can be. But strapped to his lion paw was a large light bulb and around his waist was, well a lampshade.

“You’re one of those stupid lamps?” I asked incredulously.

“They can’t be stupid if they sell well, Blade Star.” He stuck his serpentine tongue out at me. At this point, Applejack, having returned from paying the carny, intervened.

“Discord, what the hay are you doin’ here?” she demanded. Discord turned to look at her. His eyes immediately lidded and he smiled.

“My, my, Applejack, don’t you look enticing tonight. As for what I’m doing here, merely a night on the town,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows and sidling around her. That was enough for me. I grabbed the Draconequus by the shoulder and dragged him down to look me in the eye.

“That’s enough, Discord!” I snapped angrily. “Now go and bother somepony else and leave us in peace!” While I may find Discord’s more tame pranks amusing, I do have my limits. Discord though, once again, had a trollish smile on his face.

“Oh, I see how it is,” he said quietly, ensuring Applejack would not overhear us. “So it’s the country bumpkin rather than the little princess you’ve fallen for is it?” He chuckled to himself. I went to punch the smug twit and fetch that lone fang out for him. Unfortunately, still cackling, he teleported away before it had a chance to connect. In anger I fired off the last of my pumpkins. And wouldn’t you know it, it landed dead centre.

I was incredibly close to just snapping then and there. Reformed or not, I still wanted to rearrange Discord’s face. But then, I felt a hoof on my shoulder.

“Whoa, easy Blade Star, easy,” Applejack said, her voice was soothing and helped restore my temper somewhat. I took a couple of steady breaths before replying.

“Sorry, ‘Jack,” I said. “It’s just that dang Discord really knows how to get under my skin.” She smiled reassuringly.

“That no good sidewinder’s always doin’ that. You just gotta ignore him. What’s got you so mad anyway?”

I was about to reply before I stopped myself. I was mad at him for making comments about Applejack. What did that mean? Was I getting worse? In any case, I couldn’t tell AJ that; it would tip my hoof and knacker my whole plan.

“It’s nothin’, AJ,” I replied, hoping she wouldn’t inquire further. “Come on let’s get our prizes.”

In an attempt to take my mind off of Discord’s irritating antics, I got a prize for Applejack. Just to be nice, not that I was being romantic or anything. She’d done the same thing; her prize, a colouring book, was going to Apple Bloom. I’d seen her eying that stuffed Manticore, so I thought ‘why not?’.

“Here you go ‘Jack,” I said as I passed the creature to her. I wish I had been aware of the connotations of such an act. Still, AJ’s blush should have been a hint.

“Oh, thanks, Bones,” she replied, hugging me briefly.

Our brief ‘moment’ was cut off by a number of screaming fillies and colts. A small gaggle of them were bolting away from the forest as fast as their little legs could carry them. Following behind them, my parents were both revelling at the sight. I trotted over to talk to them; I needed something to distract me from Discord’s irritating jabs and my own confusion.

“So, has the evil Nightmare Moon been appeased, or have we lost a few this year?” I asked jokingly.

“I’d say she’s appeased,” my father replied. “Or at the very least weighed down with sweets.” We both laughed a little.

“For a princess, she’s certainly a very good actress,” My mother went on. “I still can’t believe that she was actually like that in the past.” I did my best to hide a grimace. Nightmare Night was all in good fun. But I never liked to contemplate what it actually represented. Still, at least now it was more of a revised version, rather than just enforcing one thousand years of fear and mistrust.

“So where’s Princess Luna got to now then?” Applejack asked.

“Right behind you,” Luna replied. For once I was not the one to get spooked. Instead AJ leapt a foot in the air and fell on her face, the stuffed manticore softening the impact. Luckily, either by restraint or pure luck, she avoided applebucking the Princess of the Night. That would have been awkward. Turning to the Night Princess, I removed my faux crown and bowed.

“Your Highness,” I said.

“Your Majesty,” she countered, mimicking my action. I looked up in surprise. “What? You are a king after all, Blade Star. Technically you outrank me.” She hid a giggle behind a hoof.

“Your elder sister is rubbing off on you, Luna,” I replied jovially. This earned me a pouting Luna, which was positively adorable.

“And I was going to ask if you two would like to join me in some Nightmare Night merriment too.” I know she’s a princess, but the look on her face was still adorable. So naturally, Luna joined me and AJ wandering around the fair.

Luna had clearly been looking forward to tonight all year long it seemed. She was like a filly on Hearth’s Warming, a side of her I hadn’t really seen before. Like all the princesses though, she was still just a pony, and consequently liked to let her mane down every now and again.

We quickly found our way to her most favourite of games; the spider toss. Instantly, my inner brony began spouting off ‘Luna Eclipsed’ references much to my annoyance. I swear, sometimes it is like there’s some sort of sub-personality in my psyche, only it’s like Pinkie Pie.

Both mares accompanying me were excellent shots, I think between them they got no less than a dozen spiders on target. My own aim improved a bit, but I was never much good at throwing things. As for magic though, well my accuracy with that had come on in leaps and bounds. With the little swinging target set Mac and I had made, I’d kept improving my aim whenever I had the chance. Maybe next year I’ll haul it out here and make a stall out of it. Maybe with some of the Apple family’s hard cider as prizes.

As the evening wore on, most of the colts and fillies headed back to their homes, much to Luna’s dismay. Pinkie bounced around anypony she could find, a slightly worrying smile on her face. All the while she chanted the phrase ‘don’t go to sleep’ over and over. Even more worryingly, when we came upon Sugarcube Corner, the entirety of the walls were plastered with, in varying fonts and styles the phrase ‘No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony’ along with the word ‘sekacpuc’. I’ll be honest, that scared me.

“Well, it appears that the celebrations have come to an end,” Luna said, a hint of sadness in her voice. “I had better think about returning to Canterlot, it will not be long now before I must lower the moon.” Over the course of the night, I had watched Luna, as well as AJ enjoy themselves immensely, it seemed a shame to cut everything short simply because the youngsters had gone to bed.

“You know, ah’m sure you could hang around for a couple more hours, Luna. You can be back in Canterlot in half an hour with your two guards. Why don’t you come up to the farmhouse or something? Ah certainly wouldn’t mind a spot of stargazing.” Even with a full moon, the sky was still filled with hundreds of stars. Applejack quickly continued my offer.

“Yeah, Princess, we’d be happy to have you stop by. Bones here spends half the night sittin’ out stargazing out in the quieter parts of the farm. And we’ve still got a fair few of those caramel apples left too.” The promise of free food seemed to sway the Night Princess.

“Very well then, I shall join you. I never have seen your livelihood after all, Applejack.” And so, we headed back towards home.

I’ve said it before. Hay, I may have said it a thousand times, but the world looks truly beautiful in the light of the moon. As we walked through the orchards along the winding path towards home, the three of us were bathed in the lunar light. As ever, it emphasised the princess’ grace and gentleness, but as I looked over to Applejack, I noticed something.

I’m not quite sure how to properly articulate this, so I’ll just say it.

She was beautiful.

Her red dress seemed to flow even more in the moonlight as did her loose blond mane. She seemed to mimic the grace of the princess beside her. I may have once been a human, but I could still see beauty in other beings. I tried to avoid staring as we walked, but I found my eyes continuously being drawn to her. Was this….attraction?

No, no, it couldn’t be. I’d been alive for a little over twenty years. I’d been through High School and University. Not once had a girl turned my head. When I talked with the other guys out of lessons, I’d found a noticeable difference in the way we thought. Unlike them, my eye didn’t dance. I had not, and until that point, was not looking. Yet here, amidst the apple orchards and the moonlight and the gentle breezes, I found myself drawn to the mare. Nothing risqué of course, but I was, noticing her I suppose.

And there was no getting around it. She was beautiful. She was my friend, and according to at least two of my other close friends, she liked me. Was I feeling the beginnings of love? I still was not sure. Much more likely, the fun of the evening was catching up, flooding my brain with various chemicals resulting in this odd feeling. After all, chocolate has been said to mimic the effect. My internal debate was, luckily, cut off as we came upon the farmhouse.

The lights were still on when we got there. Big Mac was just returning from putting the large hauling cart away. That old thing was only ever used for fun or hauling pies and other apple produce unusually long distance. Still, loaded with cheering fillies and colts it was a heavy thing. The stallion looked up as we approached.

“Your servant, Princess,” He said to Luna, touching the fringe of his mane with a hoof. He then turned to his sister. “AJ, you seen Apple Bloom and her friends? They ain’t come back since they headed back to the clubhouse.” Applejack sighed in irritation.

“Ah’ll go look for ‘em,” she replied. “They’re probably still havin’ their little victory party.” The Crusaders had indeed triumphed in the costume contest, much to a certain filly’s chagrin.

“Do you want me to come with you, AJ?” I asked hopefully.

“No, Blade Star, ah can manage those three. You and Big Macintosh look after Princess Luna here ‘till ah get back. Ah’ll just go and get out of this thing and then ah’ll head out.” She then headed into the farmhouse and went upstairs to her room. A short while later she returned, minus her dress and with her Stetson back on her head. She then set off to retrieve the three AWOL fillies. Somewhere in the darker corners of my mind, something whimpered at the fact that she was no longer in that dress.

With Applejack gone, it was just me, Mac and Luna. For the first time in the history of Equestria, males outnumbered females at a social gathering. I cleared my throat, no sense in expecting Mac to get small talk going.

“Well, Luna. Why don’t we have some cider until Applejack returns? Ah’m sure we can spare a barrel, eh Mac?” I looked over to Mac.

“Eeyup,” He replied, and headed down through the cellar door.

And so, with a few glasses of good cider and few caramel apples, we passed the time until Applejack came back with the three wayward Crusaders. With Nightmare Night effectively over for them, they would again be seeking a new special talent to try out. In that sense, their methodology was sound. By a process of elimination, they were bound to find their talent eventually. However, their preference for cool and exciting special talents may have extended the time of their search. It was while thinking about this, that Mac spoke up.

“So, Princess, ah suppose we won’t be seein’ you for a while after tonight,” he said, a trace of sadness clear. “Still, ah’m glad you could stop by, not too often we get guests.” Luna nodded.

“I’m afraid so, I do enjoy stopping by here whenever I can. It makes for a pleasant escape from Canterlot. I must say, it is certainly much clearer out here and…”she paused. “Hold on.”

Rising from her seat, she scrutinised the sky overhead with a practiced eye. By the look on her face she had spotted something amiss.

“Problem, Luna?” I asked. She sighed and cast her horn aglow.

“That thrice damned Vega is drifting again,” she replied, irritation in her tone. “I couldn’t make it out back in Canterlot, but I’ve been receiving complaints from astronomers about its movement for some time.” Carefully she guided the wayward point of light back to its proper place and relaxed again. The two of us looked up in astonishment. I myself could feel the high level magic she had been weaving.

As Luna finished her remarkable display, we heard Applejack and three disgruntled fillies. Amongst the conversation, I picked out AJ berating her sister for staying out so late and the younger Apple responding with a variety of apologies and explanations. All of this stopped though when the group spotted the Night Princess nursing a mug of cider.

After the Crusaders had returned they had spent the intervening time talking with Luna. It wasn’t long though before Rarity and Dash arrived to collect two of the fillies, whilst AJ took Apple Bloom up to bed. It was by now beyond late at night and verging on early in the morning. As Luna’s royal chariot touched down outside the barn, the clock struck five.

“Five o’clock already?” she complained, pawing the dirt with a hoof. “I guess I’ll have to lower the moon from here then.” My inner brony went ballistic yet again. After all, the closest I’d seen Luna manoeuvring the celestial body she commanded had been from Celestia’s balcony when Season 4 began. The other time, I didn’t care to contemplate; she had not been herself.

With her horn alight, Luna raised herself up onto her hind legs, her hooves pounded through the air out of reflex. Very slowly at first, but with increasing speed, the moon began to sink from the sky. In the east a reddish orange glow appeared; the beginnings of the sunrise. Steadily lowing herself back to the ground, Luna sent the moon below the horizon, allowing the sun to rise in the dawn.

As I watched this display though, I felt decidedly uncomfortable. As I watched, the stars steadily vanishing by the light of their larger cousin, a feeling of unease developed in the pit of my stomach. It was almost like fear.

With her task complete, Luna climbed aboard her chariot, which looked decidedly out of place in the dawn sky. Preparing for the distance, she re-summoned her cloak, causing the small colony of bats to reform around her. Wishing us all well, she briefly nodded to the two stallion Thestrals and headed back to Canterlot.

Thus ended my first Nightmare Night in Equestria.

Author's Notes:

Proofread by Sidetrack.

I forgot that I put 'The Shining' reference in this part. That's what happens when you write something as one huge chapter then cut it up the day you send it for proof reading.

I think now is a good time for an interlude chapter, Lizzie needs more screen time. Or whatever the written equivalent is.

Comment below, even if you find this chapter six months from now, I'll still be happy to take on board and reply to comments.

No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.
No friends and no parties make Pinkie a dull pony.

Interlude 6 - Burning Catholics is Wrong

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Note: This chapter takes place from Lizzie's perspective.

“Erm, Bonfire Night?” Fluttershy asked me as we sat at the table.

“Yeah, Fluttershy. It’s a celebration we used to have back home. Everyone gets together to light a huge bonfire and then we let off loads and loads of fireworks,” I replied earnestly. With ‘Nightmare Night’ over, next on the calendar was Bonfire Night before Christmas.

The pair of us had pretty much stayed in over Nightmare Night. Fluttershy had come a long way according to her friends in overcoming her fears, but all those spooky costumes and pranks often proved too much for her. While she agreed that one year she would have to face her fears, she was certain that it was not going to be this year.

In all honesty, I had kind of been looking forward to seeing Equestria’s take on Halloween, and I hadn’t really had much of a chance to meet the other princess that I kept hearing about. From what my brother told me, she was sort of an ex-villain, though I didn’t dare say that to his face. I don’t know why, but bro seems to have some kind of zealot-like obsession with this other princess, she was the subject of the the only internet flame war he ever got involved in back home.

Anyway, come Nightmare Night, Fluttershy insisted that I go out and have fun. Naturally, I wasn’t having that and tried to convince her to come with me. When this proved impossible, I said I would spend the night here with her. I mean sure I wanted to go, but she was my friend, and Nightmare Night came around every year. That was the whole point of the show that was based on this world after all; stick by your friends.

It had now been about a week since then. We’d had a perfectly pleasant time anyway. But I thought it might be nice to try something from back home. So, I suggested Bonfire Night, it was a fun night out usually and was a chance for everypony and everyone to get together. Quite quickly though, my brilliant idea hit a wall.

“Fireworks?” Fluttershy asked, already threatening to shy away behind her pink mane. “Aren’t they very, eep, loud?” The penny, or rather the Bit, dropped.

“Oh, right,” I answered. “Well, we don’t need to have them, the main event is the bonfire and burning the Guy, usually we all get together for that. The fireworks are just a sideshow.” It would be a shame, but we could go without them. Come to think of it, maybe some of the unicorns in town could do a light show instead.

“That would probably be better, Lizzie,” said Fluttershy. “After all, I don’t want to upset any of the animals near Ponyville. Lots of them are getting ready to hibernate soon too.” Another fair point, each time we’d gone out for Bonfire Night, we’d had to make sure our cats were inside and that the dogs weren’t in the garden. Our neighbour had lost her cat one year when the poor thing got spooked and ran into the road.

Still, we now had the beginnings of an idea. We could still have a bonfire, and if we could get enough unicorns to help out with the light show, we could have a proper Bonfire Night. Minus the hot dogs of course.

After we’d cleaned up breakfast and finished up with feeding all the animals, including that stupid rabbit, we set off for town. Fluttershy said that our first stop ought to be Twilight’s, since she knew more about magic than almost anypony. So she could certainly tell us whether it was possible.

We reached the library and found both her and Spike busy reshelving some of the recently returned books.

“Hey Twilight,” we both said, with varying degrees of volume. The princess in question looked up from the various books she had been examining and trotted over to us.

“Oh, hi Lizzie, Fluttershy,” she replied. “What can I do for you?”

“Can unicorns do light shows?” I blurted out, rather stupidly. Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“Light shows?” she repeated.

“Lizzie has an idea for a celebration from her world in two days’ time. It’s supposed to use fireworks, but since it’s so close to hibernation time for all my animal friends, we thought we might be able to do it with magic instead,” Fluttershy elaborated.

“Two days? But that’s the night when all those shooting stars are supposed to appear,” Twilight countered. “A light show would block them out.”

If there is a God, they were smiling on me right about now. I’d only seen shooting stars once before, but they were more beautiful than any light show or fireworks display. Or even a Windows screensaver.

“Why don’t we just use both then Twilight. We can have the bonfire here in town, and that’ll get everypony up for the shooting stars.”

“Err, bonfire?” the alicorn asked. We quickly explained to her the basics of Bonfire Night. She seemed quite taken with the idea.

“So what do you think, Twilight?” I asked hopefully.

“Take it to Mayor Mare’s office. If she agrees, I’ll be happy to help organise everything.” Yes! Get in! Fluttershy cheered and hugged me. We’d got our idea off the ground, once we got the Mayor’s permission; it was all good to go. And how hard could that be?

“No.” That was the answer we got.

“But why not?” I demanded. The two of us were standing in the Mayor’s office with the earth pony herself sitting behind her desk. She’d listened to our ten minute long proposal only to turn us down with one word.

“Because it violates at least half a dozen environment and public safety laws. The smoke alone would blacken half the town before sunrise, never mind the risk of fire breaking out on a thatched roof.”

“Mayor, we aren’t talking about some massive cross burning, it’s a bonfire. It can be small enough to fit in the town square with plenty of room. And it’s easy enough to keep the smoke down as long as it all burns cleanly.” The Mayor shook her head.

My answer is still no,” she said. “I won’t stop you from having a private party somewhere, but not on public property.” I huffed in irritation; clearly she was not going to move on the issue.

Leaving town hall we headed back to the cottage. The town square was the only place I could think of that was large enough to host a bonfire night party.

Wait a minute.

A party.

Pinkie Pie! The Cakes owned a large area of land around Sugarcube Corner! That would be able to hold the crowd and it was private property. While the Mayor could veto events taking place on town property, only a large amount of complaints could prevent events taking place on private property. Better yet, if we could get Pinkie and the Cakes on board, we’d have all the food sorted. I turned to Fluttershy who was also deep in thought, trying to come up with a plan.

“Fluttershy,” I said. “I have a cunning plan.”

Pinkie was looking after the shop when we arrived, though upon telling her of my scheme, she quickly placed a ‘back in five minutes’ sign on the counter. She seemed quite taken with the idea, her own need to party increased to fever pitch with the conclusion of all the Nightmare Night parties.

“Ooh, this is gonna be super-duper brilliant!” She exclaimed, bouncing around us as we continued to plan. “We can set the bonfire up in front of the shop and stay open really, really late and sell all the food for the party. And then we’ll all be able to see those shooting stars. They’ll all be like pew, pew, pew.” She fell into rambling as only Pinkie Pie can.

“That’s very nice Pinkie, but how are we going to set it all up?” Fluttershy asked. Admittedly, I expected Pinkie just to help out with getting a venue and supplying the catering. What she said next surprised me.

“Easy, I’ll just take all those planks of wood I have in the basement, set them up in a criss-cross and use a barrel of Applejack’s hard cider to set it off.” She saw our looks of surprise. “What, you don’t think I know how to make a bonfire?”

So, we now had pretty much everything set up. With the help of Ponyville’s best party planner, we had a place and, rather worryingly, a bonfire all set to go. All that was needed now was the Guy. Naturally, Lyra chose that moment to step out in front of us, an odd contraption in tow.

“Hey Lizzie, what do you want to do with the Crusaders old costume? Seems a shame to just throw it all away.” Ah yes, the human costume I’d helped Lyra and the Crusaders make. Six feet tall, arms and legs, a rudimentary head and it was all made of stuff that would burn.

“That’ll do it,” I said, clapping my hands together confusing the two mares. “This can be our Guy.” Quickly drawing Lyra into our little scheme, we appropriated the old costume to serve as the unfortunate stand in for Guy Fawkes. The unicorn took a rapid, if slightly unsettling interest in the little celebration.

With so many ponies already in on the plan, word quickly spread throughout town that there was to be a human celebration to coincide with the shooting stars display. Add in the promise of on-site catering and by early evening ponies were flocking to Sugarcube Corner. Mom and Dad turned up too, as did my older brother; he’d brought the Apple family with him as well. Of others in the crowd I picked out Lyra and Bon-Bon, Roseluck, Rarity, that clock repair pony and a few of Dash’s friends from the weather patrol. Quite a crowd in any case.

With Pinkie’s assistance, we’d set up a sort of raised marque for us to oversee proceedings. Twilight was there with us as well. As the nearest available princess, it was her job to officiate and light the fire. She just said it was a welcome change from her usual duties.

By about eight o’clock everypony had turned up and settled in. Most of the time when I went to these sort of things, I tended to ditch my parents and go hang out with my friends.

Friends.

I inadvertently tugged my own heartstrings; I hadn’t really thought too much about my friends back home, I missed them a lot. I’d been planning to go on a night out with them all when we wound up here. I wonder what they think happened. Still hopefully, someday I would be able to see them again. For the moment though, there was a bonfire to be lit, and here I was with Fluttershy of all ponies about to see it all kick off.

To that end, Pinkie was as promised, bounding around the piled wood dousing it with the strongest cider Applejack said she had. At this point I really think Pinkie Pie may be a pyromaniac; no one should enjoy covering something in flammable liquid that much. It didn’t help that my Dad and my brother both kept up the tune ‘Stuck in the Middle’.

With that done Twilight came forward to start the proceedings. Advantage of being royalty I suppose, you get first dibs on the fuse. She cleared her throat and began her little speech.

“Thank you everypony for coming to Equestria’s first ever Bonfire Night. And I’m sure we’d all like to thank Lizzie, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie for making this event possible.” She paused to allow the stamping of hooves to subside. “And with that, I guess it’s time we lit this bonfire. Tell me when Lizzie.” I grinned and nodded to her in thanks.

“Light that candle, Twi!” I shouted. And with that, Twilight let off a small spark from her horn. Instantly the whole thing caught and the Guy promptly began to roast.

The flames roared as they ate away at the high proof alcohol in the cider very quickly the wood caught and began to crackle loudly. Ponies quickly backed off a little and the odd hot splinter shot out from the inferno. If only I had been as sensible.

“Ouch!” I exclaimed as I felt a hot, stinging sensation on my arm. Looking at it, I saw a small splinter had landed on the exposed skin and left a nasty looking, if relatively small, burn. Still, it was enough for Fluttershy to notice and all of a sudden she was hovering around me, checking me over.

“Oh my goodness,” she exclaimed as she caught sight of the mark. She hurriedly dashed into Sugarcube Corner and promptly returned with a small first aid box. The wound, minor as it was, was quickly sterilised and dressed. She continued however, to hover around me.

“Fluttershy, it’s okay, I’m fine,” I said laughing a little. Her display was just so cute, she was doting on me like…

Like a mother.

I’d tried not to notice it, but more and more, Fluttershy had been acting like Mom used to when I was younger. She always had one eye on me and at the first sign of trouble would turn up with whatever remedy might be needed. She even used her infamous stare on one of her chickens once after the little bugger pecked me.

I wasn’t really sure what to make of it all. I mean, there was no harm in it really, plus she acted like that around the animals she cared for too. I figured it was probably just a result of the way she lived her life. She’d never mentioned much about relationships, and given her shy nature I can guess why. Maybe she just treated whoever she took in as her own by instinct, a way to make up for the fact she had no children of her own. My train of thought was interrupted as a hoof waved itself back and forth in front of my face.

“Lizzie, are you okay?” said a soft demure voice. I looked down and saw Fluttershy had a worried expression on her face. I had zoned out a bit.

“Oh, sorry Fluttershy, I kinda spaced out for a minute,” I answered shaking my head to remove the cobwebs. “What is it?”

“Twilight was just saying that the shooting stars are about to start. I think that little burn should be alright ‘till we get home, so I thought we might go and see the show,” Fluttershy replied.

Not a moment later we heard a chorus of ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ go up from the hushed crowd that had gathered in front of the dying fire. Guy Fawkes had gone up quite rapidly and all that remained was the glowing embers. Above our heads, brilliant streaks of light began to flash across the sky. The last time I’d seen this, I was pretty young and we’d only caught a couple. Now though, the sky was filled with them, all appearing for a fleeting moment before vanishing back into the dark.

A quiet awe settled over us all as we looked up into the sky. The only sounds to be heard were the crackling of the fire and the scribbling of a quill on parchment as Twilight took down notes on the display. I simply sat down next to Fluttershy; though I was certain I felt a comforting wing wrap around me in a sort of hug.

The shooting stars finally came to a halt about half an hour later. The fire was now well and truly out. Twilight did however, insist on having Rainbow Dash and a few of the other pegasi dump a few rain clouds on the remains. Better safe than sorry I suppose. With the fire doused down, Pinkie quickly took down the marque and steadily transported it back down to the basement in Sugarcube Corner. Twilight also stopped by before turning in, thanking us for setting the event up and getting everypony out to see the stellar display.

But the best however, was saved for last when we were approached by none other than Mayor Mare herself. If it were possible to walk at the same time, she would have trotted over to us with a cap in her front hooves.

“Lizzie, Fluttershy, I’m really sorry about earlier,” she began hesitantly, “After you left I realized that I came across a just a little unkind. While I am still a little worried about safety at this event, I think I’d be more than happy to let you have this ‘Bonfire Night’ in the town square next year.”

“Thank you, Mayor.” Fluttershy said, pre-empting my own reply, which may have been a bit snarky in any case. The older mare nodded and headed off, leaving just the two of us outside Sugarcube Corner. The sudden silence and relative darkness of the area got Fluttershy moving at a pretty brisk pace.

We quickly reached the cottage and got ourselves inside. Angel was sitting on the sofa waiting for us. Instantly, he began yammering something to Fluttershy in Lapine. Based on his tone, I’d say he wasn’t pleased by the fact that we’d been out so late.

“Now, now, Angel Bunny,” Fluttershy admonished. “We haven’t been gone that long, and you should be in bed yourself.” The rabbit folded his paws and huffed irritably before hopping off. The pair of us headed upstairs.

Since it had become pretty clear me and my family were going to be in Equestria for a while, I’d refused to continue turning Fluttershy out of her own bed. Instead, borrowing some of the money Princess Celestia gave Mom and Dad, I managed to get my own bed made. It wasn’t much larger than a normal pony bed really, and I’d set it up in Fluttershy’s room, since unlike Applejack’s home, she lacked a spare room. Fluttershy didn’t seem to mind the amount of room it took up and we’d pretty well divided up the room to keep our stuff separate. Clambering into our respective beds, we bid each other a good night and turned the lights off.

Chapter 47 - Beavers and Cattle

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Today was the day. Amidst great pomp and circumstance, Dash and her weather team, on orders from Cloudsdale, had declared today to be ‘Snow Day’. At precisely six o’clock this evening the first flake would fall and by next morning Ponyville was to be covered in at least six inches of pristine whiteness. All well and good, if that wasn’t also your time limit to get everything done.

Since today was the day the snow would come, it was also the day the Apple family winterised the farm and their home. The apple trees had been bare for a couple of months now, and at this point were almost completely devoid of their leaves. The grass too had become thinner and lost its lustre.

Now in human society, winterising a farm would involve moving all the animals indoors, organising feed to keep them all fed, having the ground all ready and prepared for the next crop and so on. In Equestria though, things were a little different. For starters, the Earth ponies would be the ones to do most of the work we saw as natural. The last few leaves had to be shaken from the trees, and the grass had to be trimmed back. The pegasi had the greatest job though. All told, they had to reduce them temperature to allow for the freezing of lakes, then they had to increase it slightly to create high pressure to make snow. All this had then got to be whipped up into a near blizzard; that meant a large wind producing taskforce. I didn’t envy the weather patrol today.

However, as for ponies such as myself, we did not exactly have that much to do. Even in more unicorn majority areas such as Canterlot, active magic did not play much of a role in season changes. As a result I essentially had to forego the phallic symbol strapped to my forehead, and do the work of the earth ponies. The job Applejack gave me was to assist the local beaver colony with their dam construction. While they had a large dam upstream that gave us our fishing hole, several others would be needed along the river, in order to slow the flow of water to allow for ice formation.

With Fluttershy’s help Applejack and the others had established a good rapport with this colony and had forged something of a symbiotic relationship. They helped us control water flow through the farm, including the operation of a large scale irrigation system, and in exchange, we allowed them to monopolise fishing insofar as wildlife went. According to Fluttershy, they had previously had serious issues with a bunch of otters.

After that was done and dusted, more conventional jobs had to be attended to. The sheep and cattle all had to be herded back to the pens and cleared off the hills. This wasn’t usually too much of a challenge since you could simply ask them to follow you back to the farm. All the farm equipment was already stowed away, so once the animals were done, we would be set and could go inside and put the heating on.

After getting in a hearty breakfast, I left the homestead and headed on down to the main dam the beavers had constructed. The head honcho I was to see was one Mr Beaverton Beaverteeth, who was apparently in charge of water management. Upon arrival at the dam, I found the beavers hard at work evidently strengthening their home against the effects of frost and ice. One beaver in particular was perched atop the dam and was gesturing to his companions. I figured this guy was the gaffer. Unlike Fluttershy, I did not possess an innate ability to communicate with animals, but Applejack had assured me that they could understand ponies and with effort, could make themselves understood too.

“Mr Beaverton Beaverteeth?” I called out as I reached the colony. The one from the dam jumped down from his pedestal atop it and scurried over to me. The creature made a series of squeaks and clicking sounds with its teeth. Presumably it wanted to know what I wanted.

“Ah’m Blade Star. Applejack sent me out here to co-ordinate with you fellers on slowin’ the water flow for tonight.” Much to my surprise the beaver offered a paw and shook my hoof. He then gestured for me to follow him.

He led me to a sort of complex. Running along the river both before and past the main dam, there were a series of smaller constructs. Each one forced the water to flow over it thus slowing down the flow. Each one of these was just about above the waterline and the river was running noticeably fuller as a result. Beaverton jabbered something to me.

“Looks like you’ve got the water held up pretty good,” I said. “Will each of these be able to handle the pressure over the winter though?” Since the ice would be maintained largely by this system, any failure, such as a dam breaking, could result in a torrent of water forming with enough force to break up the ice.

In response to my question he climbed up onto one of the smaller dams and began to jump about on it. I guess he was trying to tell me that it was strong enough.

“Alright, fair enough,” I replied. “Are you folks ready and all set to go then?” This time I just received a simple nod. “Okay, we’ll be back to check on you tomorrow morning and then somepony will be out here once a week to check structural integrity. Fair enough?” Again, I got a nod and a jabbering reply followed by a hoof/paw shake. Presumably that meant something along the lines of ‘pleasure doing business with you’. With that, I left the beavers in peace. They’d got all they needed for the winter in terms of food and Fluttershy would be on hand too.

With the beavers confident in their ability to keep the dams up and running all through the winter months, I returned back to the farmhouse. Applejack and Big Mac were also there having returned from their own various jobs.

“So how are those beavers doin’, Bones?” Applejack asked me as I walked into the kitchen. “They gonna be okay slowin’ down the river fer tonight?” I settled myself down at the table.

“Should be fine, AJ. Ah took a look at what they’ve got goin’, all the dams should hold the water back long enough for the ice to form. All they really need to worry about is gettin’ fish, and Fluttershy can take care of that.” Applejack turned to her brother on her right.

“How about you, Big Macintosh? The trees all clear of those dead branches?”

“Eeyup,” he replied contentedly. “Should have enough firewood to keep us all warm an’ dry too.” At that point, Granny Smith pottered over with a quick lunch for the three of us. A good piping hot vegetable pie. With the cold weather coming on fast, it would be more a case of stews and pies than salads and sandwiches.

“And how ‘bout you, ‘Jack?” I asked as we ate. “The sheep back in the pen yet?” Applejack nodded.

“Every last one of ‘em. Once we’re done here, all we have to do is move all the cows in and then we’re all set. We can sit and wait for the snow.”

“You know, there’s one thing that’s been puzzling me about today,” I said as we continued to eat.

“Oh, what's that then?” AJ returned.

“How come we have to herd the sheep and the cattle back to Sweet Apple Acres? I mean they seem to be just as smart as any pony, why not just ask ‘em?”

The look on Applejack’s face, indeed everypony else’s face became a mixture of pity and understanding. It reminded me of a time when I asked my grandfather why no one had stood up to the Nazis before the war broke out. Applejack turned to Granny Smith.

“Why don’t you explain it, Granny? You’ve been herdin’ them critters for longer than me or Big Macintosh have.” The Apple matriarch nodded and placed a hoof on my shoulder.

“Ya see, the thing is sonny,” she explained. “Is that while those critters may seem all smart and civilised like us pony folk, when all’s said and done, nothin’ could be further from the truth.” I was understandably confused.

“But, ah’ve seen them talkin’ to each other, and to ponies. They don’t act like animals. They even make their own routine on which fields to graze,” I replied.

“That’s so.” Granny replied. “But, they still do act like animals sometimes. You put a rattler in front of me and I’ll back off and let it be. But them cows, they’ll take off like fruit bats out of an orchard and they’ll keep goin’ ‘till they hurt themselves. That’s why we have to herd them back, keeps ‘em calm and whatnot.” I contemplated what I had been told. On the one hand it seemed wrong to treat a seemingly intelligent species like farm animals. But on the other, I could think of several cases where Granny Smith’s logic applied. Hay, the line between animal and sentient being was pretty blurred for me anyways, considering I was now a talking pony. The beavers, they were animals, and while they couldn't talk they were clearly intelligent. I guess what constitutes an animal and what that means is somewhat different in this world.

With my mind still turning over the moral and ethical implications of what I had been told in my head, Applejack, Big Mac and I headed out to fetch the cattle in. They usually gathered themselves all together for the winter. We would not be taking them all though. Sweet Apple Acres though large, could not take the entire herd. Instead each of the farms in the region would herd away about a hundred head of cattle and keep them safe and secure over the winter.

The whole procedure though was designed to be as calm as possible for all concerned. We wouldn’t just turn up and force a hundred cows on their merry way. This procedure had been going on so long that most of the cows went to a particular farm, mainly family groups and close friends. So when we reached the herd, we’d call out for all those looking to spend the winter at Sweet Apple Acres, then steadily separate them and then drive them back to the farm.

It was a fair walk, the grey clouds overhead made everything feel heavy, almost as if you could feel the as yet unfallen snow pressing down. That was our other concern. Nopony wanted to be out with the herd when the snow started. Once it was up and running Dash said the weather patrol would not be able to shut off until it had done its job.

“Hey Big Mac!” I called as we walked. “How long do you reckon it’s gonna take to get all these cows back to the barn.” The stallion followed my nervous gaze to the sky.

“We’ll get ‘em in before that snow falls,” he replied simply. I on the other hand was not so sure. The cows I was familiar with tended to get difficult when they sensed bad weather. Still, if worst came to worst, we each had a length of rope on our saddlebags, and unlike humans, we could keep up with them if they ran.

With that, we came upon the herd. It was an incredible sight to say the least. I’d seen herds of cattle before but this one was huge. There had to be getting on for over twenty-five hundred beasts before us. Applejack stepped up to the plate. First, she let of an obnoxiously loud whistle to get their attention.

“All right ladies, listen up!” she called. “All of y’all who spend the winter at Sweet Apple Acres need to step forward and follow us!” Initially, there was no noticeable reaction. But as the seconds ticked by, the herd steadily began to shift.

Starting with individuals, cattle began to peel off from the main herd and gravitate towards us. This was soon followed by larger groups and eventually, by my count, there were one hundred and seven cows arrayed before us. The three of us did a rapid triple check of the head count. That extra seven had to be youngsters born this year. AJ once again addressed the crowd.

“Okay, there’s a hundred and seven of ya. Who here’s going through their first winter?” Quite quickly, seven small cows trotted forward out of the group. They were not as large as the others and looked to be a bit uncomfortable at being called out by Applejack.

“That’d be us,” one of the group said. Like most, their accent was reminiscent of people for Wisconsin. Applejack smiled in an attempt to put them at ease.

“Alright, there should be enough room for you extra seven.” She turned to me. “Blade Star, can you lead these young ones back on their own?”

“What for, ’Jack?” I asked perplexedly.

“There a mite uneasy ‘bout all this. Ah don’t want it to worry the others. Once we get back to the farm, they’ll be no trouble, but if we put them with the herd, they might act up and spook the rest.” I nodded; seven cows should be easy enough.

“Alright, ah’ll take them, and you and Big Mac will herd the rest, right?”

“Eeyup,” called Big Mac.

With that, the two Apple siblings headed around the main herd we had. AJ headed to the front to lead, whilst Big Mac, with his larger size and suitable loud bellow, would drive them from the rear. I meanwhile headed over to my small group. Applejack was right; they did look a bit uneasy. I smiled as I trotted over to them, trying to remember everything my father had taught me about cattle.

“Right ladies,” I said. “If you’d like to follow me.”

I knew a little bit about herding animals from my time on Earth. On occasion, a few sheep or cattle would find their way out of a field and start wandering about. Such wandering often took them towards the road that ran near my house. Once you’d found where they’d got loose from, it was simple enough to herd them back. Sheep were simple enough as long as they didn’t panic. Cattle though, one thing I know about cattle is that you must respect them. Just one is equivalent to a VW Beetle and can easily kill a man. That’s not to say that they were dangerous though. Most of the time, if you went just close enough to them to make them nervous, they’d move along.

This was the technique I had in mind when Applejack asked me to lead these seven youngsters home. Of course, instead of driving them, I’d lead them for the most part. To begin with though, they were quite nervous, so I went behind them, keeping in their sight of course, and encouraged them along.

“Alright it’s not far, just start walkin’ and ah’ll lead y’all home,” I called. Very steadily the group began to move.

The pasture quickly gave way to a small dirt track that the cows frequented, from there, it led to a larger track and eventually the road back home. Keeping behind them, I managed to encourage the small herd to keep up a steady trot. I prepared to move in front of them.

“Okay, ah’m gonna go in front of y’all now and lead you home. Just keep heading straight on and y’all will be fine.” I called. As I headed wide around them though, we passed a small junction, leading to an old woodland trail. With me one their left side and the track on their right, the cows followed their instincts and headed away from me. Quite quickly, they caught on to their mistake.

“Oh, er, this doesn’t look right,” one of them said.

“Where do we go now?” asked another. Quite quickly, they began to panic. I went around them to get in front of the group, stopping them before they could go further.

“Whoa, steady on, ladies. You want to turn back around ah think.” I said encouragingly. Having found their guide again, they calmed and turned around. After that they were content enough to follow me.

We arrived back at the farm just as AJ and Big Mac were getting the last of the regulars settled. The snow filled clouds were right on top of us, and I could feel the weight of the snow within them. I was thankful it wasn’t a thunder storm; that could make any animal nervous. Applejack trotted over to help get them inside.

“Glad to see you, Blade Star,” she said as we crossed through the gate. “These give you any trouble.” I shook my head.

“No, they’re as good as gold, ‘Jack. Storm just has ‘em a little rattled.” The small group disappeared inside the large barn. “Right ah guess we better get in before…” My words died in my throat.

I felt a strange sensation on my snout, like water, but softer. I looked about me. Very steadily, but with increasing volume, small white flakes were falling gently from the clouds above us. The snow had started.

“Well, would you look at that,” AJ whispered in quiet awe.

“Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed.

We quickly headed inside. While it was pretty enough now, very soon this would build into a blizzard that would coat the whole region in purest white. Granny Smith had already got the fire in the living room blazing. Apple Bloom had curled herself up on the sofa in front of it and fallen asleep. Getting some hot cocoa into us, we sat by the fire watching the snow steadily build up. I couldn’t help but whistle ‘Let it Snow’.

Chapter 48 - Shopping for Mares

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The snow had now covered Equestria for the better part of a week and with it came the biting cold. While the nights may be shorter in the summer months, I do prefer to sit out and stargaze then rather than in these most frigid temperatures. When we all awoke the next morning, the whole farm, indeed the whole world as far as the eye could see, was covered in perfect, unbroken white. That’s an advantage of living rurally; you always get the snow to yourself.

The farmhouse was a little chilly that first morning, but with a few more logs on the fire and a hot meal in our bellies, we all soon warmed up. With school officially let out for the period of Hearth’s Warming, Apple Bloom insisted that she be allowed outside to sled down the hills on the farm and begin immediate construction of her fortifications for the coming snowball war. Big Mac, claiming that the cold didn’t bother him as much, took her outside to fetch her sled from the barn.

I’d not really done that as a child. I’d lived in a flat urban area and all the snow would be cleared away by gritters before we had a chance to do anything. That and I didn’t particularly care for snow. Still, it was absolutely beautiful to look at.

The sky had also cleared up now as well. The clouds had been emptied and pushed away, and the weather patrol was taking a well-earned break. Dash may come across as a bit of a lazybones with all her naps, but when it came to weather work, she was always the last of the section to clock out. The sky was a now a deep blue colour and the sun shone brightly, though Celestia offered us little in the way of warmth.

My thoughts though, were on the imminent holiday. Back on Earth, it was a busy enough time. In addition to Christmas, all our birthdays fell in either December or January, so winter time meant all hands to the pump in so far as presents. Now in Equestria though, I had to get a great many more for my friends as well as my family. I had to get a present for each of the Mane Six, then there was the Apple family and of course, Princess Luna. So first order of business; make a start with the presents and get something for my family and the Apples.

With everything sealed up or stored away, there was little to do on the farm now. Everything was bare and resting. That didn’t mean though that I got a lie in, at this point my body clock simply wouldn’t let me and try as I might I always woke up just before the sunrise.

But, when life gives you lemons. Since there was little else to do in the mornings, I’d taken to helping Granny Smith with breakfast. Well, I actually just worked the bellows on the stove for her, since she was finding it harder to do in her old age. Applejack trotted down the stairs just as we were finishing up some fried eggs.

“Mornin’ ‘Jack,” I called as I heard her hoofsteps. “Sleep well?”

“Sure did, Bones,” she replied. “Ever since RD moved that blizzard away, it’s been mighty quiet at night.” I nodded, when the blizzard had reached full force it had kept half of Equestria up.

“Do you want your eggs fried or poached?”

“Whatever Granny’s got goin’ll do for me.” I passed her a plate of fried eggs and a few rounds of toast. I quickly followed with some poached egg on toast for myself.

“So, ah was thinkin’ ah might head into town today, get a few presents for Hearth’s Warmin’. Any suggestion on what ah should get for Big Mac and AB?” Applejack pondered and put a hoof to her chin.

“Well, ah s’pose Big Macintosh has been hankerin’ for a new harmonica after he lost his old one. And AB, ah have seen her eying that fancy chemistry set in the toy store.” That sounded about right. With Twilight’s tutoring, the little Apple had come a long way and had spent the better part of a fortnight trying to mix fertilizer to help on the farm.

At least she told me it was fertilizer.

As for Big Mac, the image of him sitting back and playing a few tunes on a harmonica certainly fit his overall personality. I’d had one myself, a shame it hadn’t come to Equestria with me.

Actually, there were a lot of things that I missed. All the books in my room would have sent Twilight wild and I’d have loved to show Dash all the model aircraft I’d built over the years. Hay, it would be fun just to see their reaction to all my pony merch. As it stood though, I now knew what to get for two of the Apple clan.

“What about Granny Smith? Ah was thinkin’ ah might get her a couple new needles and some yarn.” It was no secret that Granny Smith enjoyed her knitting. Applejack giggled though.

“Do that at your own peril, Blade Star. Granny takes her yarn and makes sweaters every Hearth’s Warmin’, and ah can tell you, they are itchy as bed bugs.” I smiled. My own grandmother had done a similar thing. She’d even made me my first Christmas stocking when I was little and introduced me to the idea of Father Christmas. I polished off the last of my breakfast.

“Well, ah might as well head off now. Won’t be long before everypony starts rushin’ about for presents. Oh and AJ, do you mind if ah give my dad a bottle of hard cider for his present?” My father’s birthday fell on the twenty third, so we were allowed to get away with a joint Christmas and birthday present.

“Sure, there a few that ought to be aged enough in one of the barns,” she paused to think. “Hey, Blade Star, mind if ah come with you today? There’s not really much to do and ah wouldn’t mind getting some stuff out the way.” There was trace of nervousness in her voice as she asked me that. Hay, it almost made me blush a bit.

“Oh, erm, no AJ, you can tag along, ah could use the company.” Pausing to tell Granny where we were going, the two of us headed out.

We only got about twenty feet from the house before the cold made itself known to me. Due to my own idiocy and procrastinating, I had not thought to get myself anything to keep me warm outside in the winter months. As a result, we both quickly had to turn back to grab some clothing. In Applejack’s case, she chose to put on some boots, which matched her saddle, to keep her hooves warm. I on the other hand merely borrowed one of Big Mac’s scarfs. From when he was a colt. I must say, the bright red looked rather good on me.

So, making a second attempt, we trudged through the snow towards town. At some point, Big Mac and I would have to try and make a path of some sort through the farm. At this point on the trek, the snow came up to our knees, though as we reached the outskirts of Ponyville, we came across some cleared tracks which made the going easier.

Ponyville was quieter than you would normally expect. Not a silent ghost town as when Zecora used to drop by, but there were far less ponies out and about, a consequence of the cold.

Decorations were already starting to go up too. We could see Pinkie Pie and a few other ponies busily tossing steamers and bunting back and forth to each other across the street. A lot of the shops and houses in town were also putting up decorations, mostly lights as well as a few decorated trees. It reminded me of Christmas as a child, when the magic was still there. It was a shame I didn’t have my Rat Pack Christmas CD, I always did go for the Americana Christmas.

We quickly made our way to the small little toy shop on Stirrup Street. The front window was filled with toys and again made me come over all nostalgic. Nestled in the back left of the display was a large child’s chemistry set. It certainly looked top notch, and the price re-enforced this. It was three hundred Bits for the whole set. Not beyond my budget for the holiday, but it would certainly have an impact on my finances.

The two of us trotted inside and, after giving the set a once over, I bought it and had it gift wrapped. That brought the total to three hundred and ten Bits. I was about to leave when Applejack called me over.

“Hey Blade Star, look at this,” she said. Sitting in her hooves was a small harmonica. It was plated with silver and looked a great deal like the one I had once owned. I quickly levitated it closer to get a proper look.

“Well, what do you know, there’s a stroke of luck,” I said as I turned the trinket over in my magical grasp. “Might as well get this for Big Mac too then. “ I trotted back to the counter and parted with another thirty five of my Bits.

Trotting back out into the cold, I considered my options. I now had presents for all but one of the Apple family. I needed to find something for Applejack. As much as I did like her and enjoy her company, she was not an easy mare to shop for. Unlike the rest of her friends, she wasn’t really fussed with material things. I didn’t dare contemplate getting her a new hat for obvious reasons, and I did want to get her something beyond something to help the farm out.

We continued through town for a fair while. I took the opportunity to get other presents sorted and out of the way. For my Dad, I had a bottle of hard cider courtesy of Applejack, which I knew he liked. For Mom, I took the safest route and got chocolate from Bon Bon’s. And for Lizzie, due a severe lack of One Direction merchandise, I got a vinyl of a up and coming pop group; they all sounded the bloody same anyway.

With the majority of our shopping done, the two of us had pretty much completed our little quest. Now came the fun part; shopping for each other. Needless to say, we parted ways, agreeing to meet up again at the nearby fast food joint Twilight tended to frequent. I couldn’t help but giggle at Twilight’s unprincess-like behaviour sometimes, it made her more accessible, not that I could ever really see her in the same way as Luna, Celestia or that other one that appeared solely for marketing purposes.

“Right, AJ, ah’ll see you in an hour or so. That gonna be enough time for you?” I asked. Applejack nodded.

“Ah’ll keep your hay fries warm, Sugarcube,” she answered, winking at me.

As she left, my emotions kicked in once again. My ‘condition’ was steadily worsening and had been ever since I got back from Canterlot. My heart fluttered and I felt my cheeks heat up as she headed off. I shook my head in a vain effort to clear my mind. Love was blind and it fed the enemy, nothing more my mind reminded me.

As I continued to search the market and various shops for a suitable Hearth’s Warming present for Applejack, my mind continued to rant. Applejack may like me, but what would really come of it, marriage? Yeah, dream on. My presence in Equestria along with my family was already having repercussions. Like it or not, I was not supposed to be here. I was lucky that I’d arrived in the present time; at least I could do no damage to the timeline here. I had to remember that my stay here was temporary, in the end, Twilight and the others would find a way to open the portal and get us back to Earth, where we belonged. What was I going to do; turn around and say ‘I want to stay with Applejack?’. Nonsense. I shouldn’t be thinking about the rest of my life here. I could integrate, yes, make friends, yes, but not a relationship.

“Now for goodness sake, shake the cobwebs from your head, stop pretending you’re in a shipfic and find a sodding present,” I said to myself as I walked.

It was as I was saying this that I passed the spa. In addition to providing treatments, massages and baths, the spa also had a small shop. We all know the two things you buy for women are chocolate and beauty products, always a safe bet.

Stepping inside I was confronted by…Aloe, I think. To the best of my knowledge Aloe is the pink one, and Lotus is blue. She quickly circled round from behind the spa’s reception desk and came over to me.

“Hello, Blade Star,” she said, her accent marking out her heritage. “And what can we do for you today?”

“Just lookin’ for some Hearth’s Warming presents, Ms Aloe,” I replied. “Ah thought ah might get something for Applejack as a treat.” Aloe nodded, thinking.

“Well, we do have a few perfumes in stock that she might like. Please, follow me.” Aloe led me further into the little shop, it was little more than a sideshow really, like selling toothbrushes in a dentist’s, which I believe Minuette does. Bringing me to a small display cabinet, she selected out a few perfumes to sample.

“These three she might like, and possibly this one too.” She removed four small bottles, each about the size of a hoof filled to the brim with scented finery. Fetching a few paper sticks to test them on, Aloe squirted a few drops of each perfume.

The first one was far too much for my liking. It was something you might expect Rarity to wear, reeking of high class and society. I knew that was the whole point of perfume, but it just didn’t seem AJ’s style. The second was bang on opposite being far too cheap and tacky, I certainly didn’t want to give Applejack a present frequently used by ponies of, shall we say, ill repute. I hoped that third time would be the charm, but that one, whilst smelling nice made both myself and Aloe break out in coughing and sneezing fits. Hurriedly, she placed it back in the cabinet.

“I really don’t know how my sister can stand such things,” Aloe complained. “I must confess I recommend this one myself. It would suit Applejack I think.” She placed a few drops on the test paper and I took a whiff.

She was right. It was neither too pungent nor too subtle. Neither too expensive nor too cheap. It wasn’t what she had worn on Nightmare Night (she had confessed that she had borrowed it from Granny Smith) but it was certainly a good pick. The price was good too, so I quickly had Aloe bag it for me and hoofed over the bits. As I walked out, Aloe seemed to be smiling at something. If only I knew Rarity had gotten to her first and ensured that I would select that perfume. That and the connotations behind it, though the well hidden ‘by Cadenza’ should have given me a clue.

Arriving at the café, I found Applejack, who was weighed down with gifts, in conversation with Twilight. Trotting through the front and making my way past the lunch rush crowd, I joined them.

“Hey you two,” I said as I settled myself down in one of the cushions. I must say, I do love the general absence of chairs in favour of large cushions. It’s like if humans replaced chairs with bean bags.

“Hello, Blade Star,” Twilight replied, setting down her hay burger. “How’s your shopping going?” Methinks she’s fishing for tips.

“Not too bad, got a fair bit out of the way now, how about you, and you too AJ?”

“Oh, I did my Hearth’s Warming shopping spree just before the bonfire celebration. Your present is all wrapped up and ready, so is yours Applejack.” I resisted the urge to facehoof at both Twilight’s obsessive compulsive behaviour and the fact that I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Applejack chuckled and pushed her Stetson back on her head.

“You always were one to be prepared for anything weren’t you, Twi. And Ah only just got your present done today,” she said. “Oh, Blade Star, here’s your hay fries.” She passed me a medium size box, similar to one you might find in McDonald’s. They actually weren’t too bad, and were probably better for me than the French fries.

We chatted for a while about our Hearth’s Warming plans. Twilight was hoping to convince Shining Armour and possible Strong Shield to come and visit at some point between Hearth’s Warming Eve and the New Year and was hoping it would coincide with Pinkie’s party. The party mare really had her work cut out, having done the Bonfire Night party and setting up the Hearth’s Warming party and the New Year’s bash. It had been agreed that we’d all have a little soiree at the library and then ring in the New Year at the barn. I’d never been to a Christmas party before and all I ever did on New Year’s was bring in the coal. I regretted the fact that my mane was a dark blue.

After lunch the two of us said goodbye to Twilight and we trudged back through the snow. As we reached the farm, we found that during our absence Big Mac had begun to clear the paths with Apple Bloom’s help. We both had a fair few presents in tow and quickly stashed them under our beds in our rooms. The Apple’s and my own family were sorted, I’d use tomorrow to shop for the other girls and try and find something fitting for Princess Luna. Before long it would be Hearth’s Warming Eve.

Chapter 49 - Hearth's Warming

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It had been a week since my little shopping expedition with AJ, and Hearth’s Warming Eve was upon us. It had been a close run thing, but I had managed to sort out presents for everypony and everyone. The farmhouse was now decked out in decorations I was familiar with. In the corner of the living room, there was a large, and I mean large as in it reached the ceiling, evergreen tree. It was covered in candles, decorations and on top, naturally, was the star. Apple Bloom had done that of course. When we’d been decorating it, I’d used my magic to get her up high enough much to her amusement. Underneath were all the presents gifted to the family and myself. And it was a large pile too.

In the fireplace a decent blaze was going, keeping the whole house warm and snug. When you think about how large the farmhouse/barn is and how empty the barn section is this time of year, you realise how hot the fire has to be. Mounted over the fireplace of course, were our stockings. I’d gone and bought myself one from the market. It would be the first Christmas I’d not had my own home made stocking from my Aunt Dorothy on hand.

All the living room was plastered with Hearth’s Warming cards from various members of the Apple family. Letters had come from all over the land; Manehatten and Fillydelphia, Appleloosa, Las Pegasus even as far out as the border with the Badlands. I, of course, had been roped in to help draft, seal, and mail the huge number of replying cards from the Apple’s here in Ponyville.

The whole affair was so idyllic. Frost had formed on the windows, thick blankets of snow lay on the ground, marked only by the Crusaders sled races and snow ponies. It was the Christmas you only hear about, though of course it wasn’t Christmas. At the back of my mind, I was reminded that my family and I were still stuck here and I was really the only one who was considering remaining to my knowledge. I was glad though we were all together; I’d have hated this time if I’d had to spend it apart from my family, Apples or no.

Tonight we were all going to go out together to see and in some cases take part in, the Hearth’s Warming play, a story I knew well. It would be pretty much everybody and everypony tonight. We’d have a chance to all meet up and chat and enjoy ourselves. In that sense Christmas and Hearth’s Warming evidently shared some magic.

I stood in my room getting ready to head out. When we finished up at the town hall, where the play was to be shown, we’d all head as a group back to the library for a Hearth’s Warming party. A chance to eat, drink and be merry as one writer put it. And of course, there was a chance to tell stories. I planned on spinning ‘A Christmas Carol’ which I knew by heart to the girls. Mum of course, knew the old story like the back of her hand. It would be interesting to see the ponies’ reaction to our religion.

“All set, Sugarcube?” Applejack asked as she stepped through the open doorway. Like me, she had dressed herself up a bit for the occasion. After their excellent performance in Canterlot, and perhaps a bit of string pulling on behalf of a certain princess, most of the girls would be reprising their role in the play. Twilight of course, now an alicorn, was the exception.

Applejack therefore was dressed as Smart Cookie, secretary to Chancellor Puddinghead. Arguably, the earth pony was the one who saved their tribe for certain disaster on a regular basis. Their chancellor’s behaviour seemed mad even by Pinkie Pie’s standards. Turning around I took a look at the costume.

“Sure AJ Ah’m set. Nice costume. You’re a spittin’ image of Smart Cookie herself.” Her Stetson was once again absent, replaced with a pointed hat that in fairy tales seemed popular with witches, albeit with a huge feather sticking out. She also wore a simple jacket, with armbands reminiscent of Elizabethan times. That was followed up by a decent collar.

“Thanks, Sugarcube. Still, it’s a shame we couldn’t find a part for you.”

“Oh don’t worry ‘bout that. Ah ain’t much of an actor. And even if Ah was, Ah’d have to play some stuck up unicorn who thinks the universe revolves around him.” For whatever reason, self-importance has been a trait unicorns have never been able to fully shake off. It’s the same with earth pony stubbornness and pegasi militarism.

While I was not dressed up, I had once again thrown on my newly acquired scarf to keep myself warm on the way there and on the journey to the library afterwards.

Both ready to go, we headed downstairs and found everypony else assembled and waiting. Big Mac, stoic as ever, was doing his best to restrain if not contain an extremely excited little filly. She was hopeful that next year, she might be able to get a part in the play as were Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

Granny Smith was busy looking outside. The snow had come to a halt at last, but with the sun down, it was very, very cold out.

“Well, come on youngsters, best get going before it gets any chillier,” she said. And so we set off into the night.

The walk to town wasn’t too bad, if I’m honest. We were all wrapped up like Hearth’s Warming presents anyway. Still, our teeth chattered a bit and I did begin to loose feeling in my hooves. To take my mind off the cold, I indulged in a spot of stargazing. The one good effect of the cold was that it made the stars clear, like crystals. Apple Bloom quickly spotted this after I inadvertently bumped into her.

“Blade Star,” she complained. “You’re s’posed to keep your eyes on the road. What are you lookin’ at anyway?” Apple Bloom knew I enjoyed stargazing but had not really taken much of an interest in the sky herself.

“Take a look for yourself, Apple Bloom,” I replied, returning my gaze to the heavens. Much to my delight, I heard her gasp. This was one of the first clear nights we’d had for a while, so I could forgive her for not taking notice sooner.

“Applejack, Big Macintosh, look! There’s million and millions of them!” I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“A fair few of those stars have planets, AB. Some of them are like this one. And there are billions more beyond them.” I lowered my head to her level. “Ah can almost guarantee that someone’s lookin’ back at you right now.” The yellow filly continued to look up. Right up until she blundered into Granny Smith.

“Ow, careful now, Apple Bloom,” she chided. “I know you’re eager to get in but you have to wait.” Neither I nor AJ could resist giggling as the filly realised that she’d been staring so long, that we’d reached Ponyville and were in a queue.

The play was to be held inside town hall, which had a large enough stage as well as all the equipment associated with such a show. Applejack quickly peeled off to meet up with the others backstage, leaving me alone with the rest of the Apples.

“Hey Blade Star. What’s that star there?” Apple Bloom asked, poking my leg. I looked up and followed the filly’s outstretched hoof. The star she was pointing at was one of the brightest in the sky.

“That’s the North Star, AB. Ponies use it to find their way. And if you look below it you’ll see the plough. See, like a question mark.” Apple Bloom quickly connected the literal dots.

“How do you know all this stuff anyway,” she asked as we continued to edge forward in line.

“Just something that interested me Ah suppose,” I replied. “When Ah moved out of my home town, Ah bought myself a telescope and got star maps out of the Sunday paper each week. Ah just learnt as Ah went. The moon is even more interestin’. Some humans even managed to get to it once and walk on it. Tell you what, how ‘bout tomorrow night after you’ve opened all your presents, Ah teach you a little bit.” The yellow filly nodded, her pink bow bobbing back and forth in her mane.

Five minutes later we reached the front of the queue and were able to finally get inside out of the cold.

The inside of town hall had been cleared out to accommodate the large audience that had gathered to hear the story of Equestria’s founding. It was very much like going to a theatre, though of course, there were no chairs or pews. Most ponies were content to sit on their hind quarters, whilst Lizzie and my parents, who had also come along, were forced to sit Indian style, since chairs would make them far too tall in the crowd.

Once we settled ourselves down and had said hello to everypony, I began to take a look through the programme. The one question that had been bugging me was who the organisers had found to replace Twilight this year. The result came as something as a shock.

“Lyra?!” I exclaimed.

“Lyra?” parroted nearby ponies.

“Yes Lyra,” Bon-Bon said, a hint of smugness noticeable in her voice as she trotted over. The candy producing earth pony mare had been sitting just ahead of us, looking quite proud. “She’s wanted to have a big part in this for ages. Next to her human obsession, this has been one of her biggest dreams.”

I hadn’t really considered Lyra for the part; I’d expected them to go for Minuette or maybe Vinyl. I’d seen her around Ponyville a couple of times, but I’d not talked to her much beyond the occasional greeting. Still, if she’d been given the part she had to be up to it. Though I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to accept her version of Clover the Clever.

Off to my left, my parents settled themselves down with Lizzie. Having spotted me, they had got up and joined us. The girls were of course, currently backstage. Twilight though, much to my amusement, was sitting in the specially constructed royal box with Spike in attendance. She hadn’t gone for anything formal; in fact she wasn’t even wearing her crown. While I liked and respected the princesses, for the most part, I preferred her semi-formal approach to governance.

With everypony settled, the house lights dimmed and the show began.

I’ll not bore you with the details of the story of how Equestria was created and the threat of the Windigoes was banished for good. What I will say is that Lyra was a remarkably good actress. She was a good counterpoint to Rarity’s Princess Platinum, daughter of King Bullion head of the Unicorn Council. As for the other member of the cast, there has never been a pony more suited to a role than Rainbow was to the part of Commander Hurricane, Wing Commander of the Pegasi Weather Force. The same could be said of Pinkie as the Chancellor of the earth ponies, Puddinghead, I really do wonder which would have made the more suitable leader. Applejack and Smart Cookie too had a great deal in common; sensible, practical and wise. Only Fluttershy seemed to have to put a bit more effort in. I would attribute that though to the many leaps and bounds she has made with her fears. A couple of times I could even see her biting back retorts.

As the play ended though, there was a brief silence. Then Twilight started clapping. As soon as she did so, the rest of the crowd joined in. I suppose that is the effect of royalty. I briefly heard my father mutter to himself.

“God, they’re like Austrians. Always follow the emperor.” I stifled a laugh.

With that, the cast and crew all came on stage to take a bow. The cheering of course, quickly gave way to the Heath’s Warming Carol, a short, but nonetheless lovely tune. A reminder that no matter what, come revenge hungry alicorns, mad spirits of chaos, twisted insectoid love thieves or any other opponent one could devise, Equestria, with its foundations of friendship, love and harmony would always triumph. This was a nation built on friendship that had stood up to evil time and again. But never once did it feel imperialist, nor was it ever tyrannical. The world was not a utopia, everywhere has its flaws, but Equestria was damn near close. And I would be proud to say that I would stand up in its defence.

With the play completed, we all met up outside the library. It was naturally a case of congratulations all around for the five mares who had taken up the leads. We did offer Lyra the opportunity to join us, but she respectfully declined, stating that she wanted to spend the evening with Bon-Bon.

Arriving outside, we quickly all took notice of the decorations adorning the library. For the most part it was magical lanterns in all sorts of colours. Outside the front door were a couple faux candy canes and perched in the highest branch was a golden star. It’s not every day you can turn a house into a Christmas tree.

Inside, Pinkie and Spike had had everything all set up and ready to go prior to the play. Party music played loudly from a gramophone in the corner of the room, whilst all the library tables were covered with punch bowls or buffets. And the whole room was naturally covered in balloons and streamers as per Pinkie’s exacting standards. Cheese Sandwich may be able to throw larger parties, but Pinkie is able to do just the same with a small venue, limited resources and fewer ponies, quality over quantity. To my mind that makes her a better party planner.

I quickly grabbed myself a drink and went to talk to my family.

“So, how did you like the play, you two?” I asked as I wandered over.

“It’s certainly some story,” my mother replied. “But aren’t Windigoes a Native American myth?” I started, again my mother proved to be a source of useful knowledge.

“Ah don’t think the two are the same, Mom.” I offered as an answer. “There’s probably a couple books in here on them Ah’d like to bet.” I paused to think for a moment. “Hey Spike, where's the Animal Aficionado’s Almanac to All Abnormal Animals?”

“It’s on loan. Zecora has it.” Spike replied from across the room.

"You've been spending too much time here, Bones,” my father said, laughing to himself.

“Well Ah’ve got to do something, Sweet Apple Acres ain’t exactly busy right now,” I countered. “Besides, it doesn’t hurt to learn about the world does it? Ah mean, no one else has ever had access to anything like this.” I’ll admit, for a while I was spending a bit too much of my free time here. But come on, I had headcanon to confirm.

Anyway, as the night wore on, the foals and Spike began to grow weary. Tomorrow, they would undoubtedly rise before Celestia herself, and wake all of Equestria up in their efforts to open their presents. As for us grown-ups though, we would cheat and wait until midnight. Plus, with the youngsters out of the way, Pinkie was able to bring out some Hearth’s Warming cheer of the liquid variety. Quite quickly, the fruit punch was replaced with cider and we began to enjoy ourselves.

Now, as you may or may not know, one of the effects of alcohol on the mind is that it reduces or removes inhibitions. We do things we would normally be too embarrassed or shy to do otherwise. Over the course of the past fortnight, I had kept an eye on AJ. Quite quickly, I concluded that she did like me, it was obvious to anypony. The question then of course became did I like her back. Such a profound notion had left me at something of an impasse, between my mind and my heart, as tacky as that sounds.

A part of me was tempted to confront Applejack about the whole issue, taking the proverbial plunge. Another was quick to point out I may very well not be in Equestria forever. Then there was the issue of my disinterest in…certain matters. All in all, I was befuddled by this turn of events, which led to me doing my best to ignore the problem entirely and at best send mixed signals.

But with a healthy amount of cider running through me, these concerns began to evaporate. It was while I was in this slightly deluded state that Applejack trotted over to me. Like me, she had had a glass or two, but she seemed alert and steady on her hooves.

“Enjoyin’ yourself, Sugarcube?” she asked.

“Ah’ll say so, AJ. Ah haven’t been to a Hearth’s Warming party before anyway. It’s nice to be able to celebrate with more than just my family.” Applejack smiled back at me.

“Ah know what you mean. It’s been nice havin’ you around the farm too,” she trailed off for a moment. “And there has been somethin’ ah wanted to ask you.” My internal organs summersaulted.

“Oh, err sure. What is it, ‘Jack?” I asked hesitantly. Applejack leaned forward, closer to me. I tensed a little, expecting a sudden kiss. What I got though was:

“Apple Bloom’s been buggin’ me all the way from town hall to here about that astronomy stuff. Seems like you’ve gotten her and the Cutie Mark Crusaders interested. Ah don’t s’pose you’d be willin’ to teach them a little bit sometime. Ah don’t know much ‘bout that kind of stuff really.” I relaxed and quietly breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sure, AJ. Ah’d love to. Plus it’ll be good for them. Ah mean, how can they do any damage looking for an astronomy cutie mark?” I instantly regretted saying that. Applejack merely giggled.

“Well, Ah’m sure you’ll find out,” she replied. Briefly she glanced up at the ceiling, a smile played over her lips. "There’s just one more thing, Bones.”

“What?” I asked inquisitively. She gestured upward with a hoof. Hanging directly above us, was a branch or two of mistletoe. I giggled to myself a little. “You know AJ, back on Earth, if a couple were standin’ under mistletoe they were supposed to…” I didn’t get to finish the rest of that sentence.

With little warning, Applejack kissed me, on the lips. I quickly felt my cheeks flush bright red uncontrollably. Though I must confess the experience was not unpleasant. Applejack wasn’t particularly invasive; she was polite enough not to use her tongue. Still, I was quite taken aback and it was a few moments before my mind pointed out that you were supposed to return a kiss.

After a few moments, though it felt like hours, Applejack broke off. She looked me in the eyes; hers were filled with such kindness and gentleness, yet an undeniable spark of confidence. I on the other hand, had my mouth open like a landed bass and I expect my eyes had of glazed over.

“Happy Hearth’s Warmin’, Sugarcube.” And with that, she temporarily left the party to take Apple Bloom home. And just when I thought it was over, I saw my father standing across the room, a big grin on his face.

Applejack, Rarity and Dash and my mom, all of whom had gone to take their respective sisters or daughters back to their homes, returned just before half-past eleven. Twilight had taken Spike up to bed as well in spite of his insistence that he wasn’t tired. In another half hour or so, it would be Hearth’s Warming, Christmas to me and my family. All the presents we had for each other had been piled up in the middle of the library, and quite a tidy pile it was too. We continued to chat amongst ourselves as the clock crept round for the final time. Eventually, the clock in the library began to strike the hour.

“Well, Happy Hearth’s Warming and Merry Christmas everypony,” Twilight said as we all clinked our glasses.

“Well come on then, let’s go have a look see,” my father encouraged. We all promptly left the table and headed over to the small mountain of presents. “Well, let’s see what we’ve got. There’s one for you Rainbow, from Fluttershy.” Instantly, the Pegasus grabbed the box and tore the paper off. Inside she found a rather strange looking contraption that looked like a miniature life raft. We all turned to Fluttershy for an explanation.

“It’s a float for Tank to use. I thought it might save energy on his rotor. He can sit on the water while you go fishing, Rainbow,” she explained. Dash was naturally grateful.

Next up was my present for Dad. He got a bead on what it was when he heard the bottle clink. He said he’d save it until New Year’s then split the bottle.

After that Rarity got one from Twilight. Twilight being Twilight of course, princess or not, had bought Rarity a book. Though to be fair it did detail the entire history of fashion and clothing in general in Saddle Arabia.

And so the night wore on. I got to open a couple. Rainbow offered to perform a sonic rainboom for me to celebrate the New Year. Rarity, much to everypony’s amusement had used some of the material she’d bought in Canterlot (and hidden under her bed when I’d entered the hotel room) to make a decent replica of a Confederate shell jacket, complete with gold buttons marked ‘CSA’. Even better, Twilight had bought me a vinyl copy of ‘The Fall’; an operatic piece detailing the tragedy of Princess Luna’s banishment.

The most interesting moment came towards the end of the evening. There were only a couple of presents left; two for me and one for Applejack. AJ picked up her gift from me.

“So what have we got here?” she asked as she examined the size and weight of the box.

“Just a little something Ah thought you might like,” I replied in an effort to be cryptic. Applejack removed the wrapping and lifted the lid on the box. She gasped as she picked up the small glass bottle. Rarity meanwhile was busy swooning.

“Aww thanks, Bones,” she said as she hugged me, sneaking a quick peck on my cheek. “Now come on, best you open my little gift to you.” She passed me a large, but nevertheless light box. Inside, was a very nice surprise.

Lifting the lid, I beheld something I’d always wanted, but never been able to find, a proper Stetson. A genuine cowboy, though perhaps cowpony is more appropriate, hat. I quickly set it on my head, adjusting it so it sat properly. Combined with Rarity’s gift, I imagine I looked like one of Bloody Bill’s boys.

“Oh wow. Applejack Ah love it,” I said, looking up to the brim of the hat. “Where’d you get this?” Applejack smiled again.

“We’ve got loads of ‘em lyin’ around. Ah figured you’d earned it. You’ve worked like a darn cowpony, only fair you get the hat.” It was a few shades darker than Applejack’s own signature headwear, more of a dark brown colour than the tan of hers. Still, at least it wasn’t a black hat; black hats always mark a villain.

The last present was covered in deep blue wrapping paper and tied with a blue silk ribbon. That alone looked expensive. Twilight and the others had gotten together to send presents to both princesses in Canterlot, I myself had sent Luna a small gift (a mug with the words ‘Best Princess’ on it). Twilight had naturally received a gift from Celestia, which was to be expected. However, I was quite surprised to find that my last gift came from Princess Luna.

I removed the ribbons and lifted the lid. Whatever it was, was wrapped up in bubble wrap and encased in a form of Styrofoam. On the top though, was a slip of paper with my name on it. Turning it over, there was a message written in Luna’s flowing hornwriting. It was a couple of lines from an old Lunar Guard hymn that had been written during her exile.

One sword at least thy night shall guard,
One faithful star shall praise thee.’

Slightly confused, I removed the top layer of protective cover. As it turned out, the box contained a sabre; clearly a ceremonial piece. Held in its scabbard, it looked to be an officer’s sword, the hilt bore the emblem of the Lunar Guard, whilst the scabbard had the phrase ‘Vivas Noctus’ carved onto it, as did the blade itself.

Underneath that, there was a large piece of cloth, far too large to be clothing. It was deep black in colour and folded into a neat square shape. With my dad’s help we were able to open it out. On one end we found eyelets; it was a banner, Luna’s to be more precise. The design was quite simple, but striking to look at. The entire thing was made of black silk, except for a white crescent moon in the centre. This was surrounded by four equally white stars, one in each corner. It resembled the image of when the stars aligned back in Season One.

Finally, at the bottom of the parcel, there was a more extensive explanation in the form of a short letter.

‘Dearest Blade Star,
These artifacts were recovered from the old barracks of our Lunar Guard shortly after my return. Your father told me of your interest in history, particularly of military matters, so I thought you might find these of interest. Please take as good care of them as my guards did before you.
Luna’

I was amazed by the condition of these two gifts. If what Luna said was true. Then they had both been crafted prior to the Lunar Rebellion, over one thousand years ago. Yet the blade was sharp like it was new and shone brightly in the lamplight. The banner’s condition was even more remarkable, not a single mark could be seen, nor had it faded. Lacking a better explanation I chalked this up to magic and carefully placed both items back into the box.

The party began to break up around one, after I had finished spinning 'A Christmas Carol' from memory and Mum had gone over her best recollection of the second chapter of the gospel according to Luke. Quite a few of us would have to endure the boundless energy of young children in a few hours. Applejack and me picked up our presents and headed back through the snow towards home. I needed the rest and so did she. Between the play, celebrations, presents and my first kiss, the pair of us were worn out. We both headed straight to bed as soon as we got back, falling asleep almost before our heads touched the pillow.

Author's Notes:

Proofread by Sidetrack.

Damn a lot happened in this chapter.

For the first time, the cover art matches up with the story, A.K Yearling take note. It feels weird as hay though to be writing all this in July. I figured Lyra could use a better part than just 'crazy anthropologist' so she now has Twilight's old part though that's about it. Blade Star has drawn the interest of the Crusaders and I plan to do some stuff with Apple Bloom in later chapters.

Then there are the presents. For those that didn't spot the hint last chapter, Blade Star has given AJ a romantic gift unintentionally, and we finally find out what Rarity was hiding back in Canterlot. I'm sure any readers hailing from Missouri will recognise then name 'Bloody Bill' commander of a Confederate bushwhacker gang whose members included a young Jesse James.

Then the big moment, the moment many of you have been waiting for since those early first chapters. They kissed! Are you happy now? This is just the start, I assure you. This chapter I think marks a checkpoint in the story, Blade Star has almost completely adapted to life in Equestria as has his family. As the author then, it's my responsibility to throw a spanner in the works. And the next arc will contain some action and a bit of dark, but nothing too serious

Next, Luna's gifts. There is a follow up for anypony who can recognise the song that line came from. It has been ponified so here is the full thing:

The Lunar mare to the moon is gone,
In the ranks of night ye shall find her.
Her father's sword she hath girded on,
And her black night slung behind her.
'Land of Stars' say the warrior mare,
Though all the world betrayed three.
One sword at least thy night shall guard,
One faithful star shall praise thee.

Finally, a hint for the next chapter and arc:

Chapter 50 - Anomaly

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Well, that was it; Hearth’s Warming had come and gone. Today was the equine equivalent of Boxing Day. And just like on Earth, everypony was either shopping, or resting at home, still tired out from the day before.

As I suspected, Apple Bloom had woken up at around half-past five and ensured the entire household got up to celebrate. She was thrilled with the chemistry set I had bought for her. She said she’d take it with her during her next lesson with Twilight to save the princess funds on raw materials. She spent the better part of the day making invisible ink to send messages to her fellow Crusaders.

Granny Smith, as Applejack had warned, quickly took the yarn I had got her, and turned them into the itchiest sweaters in the history of the world. It was like being infested with fleas. And there was no way we dared remove the damned things lest we draw the ire of the apple matriarch.

As for me, I’d already taken to wearing my newly gained Stetson on a permanent basis. And if I do say so myself I pulled off the look quite well. It certainly made me feel even more like a member of the Apple family than I already did. We were sitting down to lunch when Spike turned up at the door.

Apparently, Shining and Strong Shield had been able to come down to Ponyville a couple days early. We’d expected them to arrive on the twenty-ninth, but with everything quiet in Canterlot, the two had left matters in the hooves of Shining’s XO and taken the train down here. Deciding it would be nice to see the two war horses I quickly finished my lunch and headed to Ponyville with Spike for company.

Spike too had had a pleasant Hearth’s Warming, though he was still a little sore about the fact that Twilight had got him a book, again. Still, he said he appreciated my gift of twenty-year old sapphires. The snow was still fairly deep to Spike on Sweet Apple Acres, despite Big Mac’s efforts, so I let him sit on my back as Twilight would. There was something strangely comical having a small dragon perched on my back.

“So where’d that hat come from, Blade Star?” he asked as I continued to plod through the snow.

“It was a present from Applejack, Spike,” I replied contentedly. I was still loving the fact that I had it. “She said Ah’d earned it over the last few months.”

“And it seems like only yesterday you and your family turned up at the library for the first time.”

I chuckled to myself.

“Come on Spike we haven’t been here that long, it’s only been ‘bout three months.” By my reckoning, we’d arrived in late September.

“Yeah, but you guys have settled in now. It feels like you’ve been here as long as me and Twilight.” I smiled to myself.

“If we do ever find a way back, we’re all definitely gonna miss you guys, particularly you and Twi. You took my folks in, gave ‘em food and a bed when y’all had no idea who we were. Ah owe you a lot.” I paused to readjust the scarf round my neck. “So, how’s Strong Shield and Shining then, they settled in okay?” Spike nodded.

“Shining Armour’s staying with Twilight, and I think Strong Shield got himself a room above the tavern.” The one-eyed guard instructor would naturally set himself up at the nearest watering hole wouldn’t he?

“Alright, Ah’ll drop you off back at the library Spike, then ah think Ah’ll go see what Strong Shield’s up to.”

After dropping Spike off back at the library and of course, saying hi to Twilight and her brother, wishing the latter a happy Hearth’s Warming, I headed to the local tavern where Strong Shield was staying.

Ponyville only has one watering hole, but it’s a decent one. Simply called ‘The Tavern’, the place was what you’d expect from a pub; a tap room, a few games and some rooms upstairs for ponies passing through to spend the night in. I’d seen and walked past it a few times, though I never really considered myself the type to go out to pubs. Still, it had the same friendly feel as the Officers Club back in Canterlot and it was in Ponyville, I decided to head on in.

Heading inside, the place was a little dark inside owing to the small number of windows. Wooden beams were dotted around the room and the whole place felt very rustic. At this time of day, the place was quiet, with only a couple of ponies about, plus the mare behind the bar, one Berry Punch who remarkably, appeared sober. I spotted Strong Shield sitting on one of the stools there, a mug of cider in his hoof.

“Ah thought Ah’d find you here, Captain. Though ain’t it a bit early for that?” I said, gesturing to the foaming mug.

“It’s regular cider, Rookie, not that hard stuff. Jeez what do you take me for, a drunk?” he answered with feigned offense. It was no secret that Strong Shield had a taste for the strong stuff particularly sweeter things like cider, but he was always careful. Smiling, I trotted over and settled myself down in the stool next to him.

“So, what news from the exciting world of the Royal Guard?” I asked. Strong Shield gave a laugh and motioned the bartender to bring me a cider.

“Not much, Rookie,” he said. “There’s a little training exercise coming up in a month or so but that’s about it.”

“Training exercise, like a war game?” I asked.

“Pretty much, since we’ve done as much as we can with sieges, I figured it might be a good idea to try some mobile warfare, just in case those Griffons try anything again.” I sipped at my own cider.

“Don’t let Major Hartwin hear you say that,” I replied jokingly. We both laughed and drained our mugs. “So what are you planning on doing here then, Captain. You ain’t gonna stay cooped up in here are you?” He shook his head.

“Nah, though I might try helping some ponies with some odd jobs in town, and maybe drop by say hello to a few folks I know around here.” A thought occurred to me.

“You know, Captain, Applejack did say we could use a couple extra hooves for patrols round the orchards.” Due to having both cattle, which occasionally went AWOL, and the recent attempt to steal our crops, Applejack had started a semi-serious night watch, usually it just meant checking the fences and looking to make sure trees weren’t suddenly appearing clean of apples. “It’d mean workin’ at night, but it sounds like it’d suit you pretty well.” Strong Shield put a hoof to his chin in thought.

“I suppose I could try that, just so long as I don’t have to imitate a statue for six hours.” I laughed and cracked a wry smile.

“No, Captain. It’s nothin’ like that. And you’ll get access to Apple family cooking.” The blue coated stallion quickly agreed on that note, and we headed off to talk to Applejack and Granny Smith.

The Apple family were more than happy to have a serving officer of the Royal Guard on hand for a few days. Granny Smith quickly gave him the job, along with me, allowing Big Mac to have a few nights off. She offered to pay the captain twenty five bits per night, but Strong Shield refused any sort of payment, saying that he was doing this as a favour, not as a job.

Over the next few nights, we’d both follow the fence lines that marked the boundaries of Sweet Apple Acres, checking for any evidence of unlawful entry. We also would frequently check in on the cattle, ensuring they were comfortable and nothing was amiss. It also happened to give me a chance to discuss the principles of Animalism with a few of the older cows, a topic they found most interesting.

We didn’t have any trouble really. Aside from a few of those vampire fruit bats wandering off their reservation, we effectively just ambled around the farm chatting to ourselves.

Strong Shield was the kind of pony, or person, I admired; a respectable officer and gentlecolt. He was good at his job, but he was also a fun guy to be around. Most guards were like Shining; at times too dedicated to their job. Strong Shield had loads of stories to tell, an advantage of being a mustang, in that he began as a regular guard and rose through the ranks on merit. Everything he had, had been earned rather than given. Shining was a good leader, but at times his officer school training would cause difficulties. He only ever saw things from a command perspective; Strong Shield had a much better relationship with your common guard. That’s not to say that Shining was not as good a leader as Strong Shield, just that they had a different command style, and I happened to prefer Strong Shield’s approach.

Anyway, I ramble.

It was now New Year’s Eve; tonight, everypony would be at Sweet Apple Acres for a full blown celebration and to ring in the New Year. Me, Applejack and Big Mac had spent all afternoon getting the barn decorated and set up, whilst Granny Smith busily cooked up pies, sandwiches and other party foods. And Apple Bloom and the Crusaders had been allowed, amidst great trepidation, to make the punch.

The sun had not long dipped below the horizon, replaced by its counterpart and its many accompanying stars. I often wonder if Luna is actually more powerful than Celestia, being able to move a number of stars to Celestia’s sun. Maybe that was why the Elements were needed on that darkest of days.

It looked to be a clear night, and Strong Shield and I were just getting back in from our rounds. With his help, I’d managed to pick up a few tricks for keeping a careful eye out, things he’d learnt the hard way. Always keep your head on a swivel, don’t follow the same track night after night, only light up your horn when you need to, and above all else always keep your opponent on the defensive; better to attack and make them back up, than hold your ground and get jumped.

The only issue to speak of was the weather. Dash and her mob had been having trouble from the Everfree. Unlike typical weather, the Everfree’s could not be controlled. It went where it wanted and did what it wanted; it was just that usually, it stayed inside the forest’s boundaries. Recently though, a few clouds had come barrelling out spewing thunderstorms, with strong winds and even the odd lightning strike, affecting the normal weather patterns. Dash wasn’t sure what was causing it and neither did the higher ups in Cloudsdale. Twilight had taken it upon herself to investigate the phenomenon; she hypothesised that this may be a residual effect of our arrival. The only question then was; why now?

As I pondered this and the two of us were settling down, Apple Bloom came out. Perched on her back, carefully balanced, was what looked to be a rudimentary telescope. Not an advanced piece of kit, but good enough for the basics. Her two friends had come with her as well. Scootaloo had turned up on her scooter and was carrying the tripod that attached to the telescope itself in a small cart behind her, whilst Sweetie Belle was carrying a number of star charts in her mouth.

“Hey girls,” I said as they approached. “What are you three doin’ out this way?” The trio came to a halt in front of us. In a fluid motion, Apple Bloom cast the scope off her back, Scootaloo set up the tripod and connected the scope when it landed, whilst Sweetie Belle found the correct chart for their location and time opening it out for everypony to see.

“Twilight got me a telescope and tonight’s the first clear night we’ve had since Hearth’s Warming,” she replied.

“So we went and got a bunch of star charts, and then Apple Bloom told us you knew loads of stuff about the stars,” Scootaloo continued.

“We thought you could help us out and teach us, and then we could be Cutie Mark Crusader astronomers.” Sweetie Belle finished. I splayed and covered my ears with my hooves, knowing what was inevitably about to happen.

“YAY! CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ASTRONOMERS!” they cheered. I turned to Strong Shield, who hadn’t caught on to what was happening quickly enough. The poor fellow was rubbing his ears in an effort to get the ringing to stop.

While the party began to get going inside the barn, I stayed out with the Crusaders, teaching them what I could. Unfortunately, this was somewhat difficult when three fillies all wanted to look through one telescope at once. In the end I managed to convince them to take turns, assuring them that the night sky was not going anywhere just yet.

I’d been listening to the nearby town clock as it stuck through the quarter hours. I looked up as it rang off the quarter to. Only fifteen more minutes until New Year. At this point, I’d taught the Crusaders to find the North Star, the Plough, and Orion’s Belt and taught them a little bit about the moon, naming the odd crater here and there.

“Alright you three,” I said as the clock finished striking. “We best be gettin’ in; not long 'till New Year’s now.” The Crusaders, with some reluctance, packed up their telescope and charts, which were now covered in annotations, and headed inside with me following behind.

The party in the barn was in full swing now, with everypony preparing for the count down to the New Year. Strong Shield was contentedly chatting away with Twilight, whilst Shining was all but trapped in a conversation with my mother. Lizzie too was with her, eyeing the guard captain at times. Rarity trotted over to us as we entered.

“Hello, Darling,” she said as she approached. “Glad to see you finally decided to join the party. I was getting worried that we’d have to ring in the New Year without you.”

“Well give me some credit, Rarity. Ah can hardly leave these fillies alone with a telescope and star charts. Not if Ah want the farm to be here tomorrow.” We both chuckled at that. Strong Shield silently excused himself and went to chat with Rainbow. “Anyway, how have you been, it’s been a while since we had a chance to chat.” I hadn’t seen much of Rarity at the Hearth’s Warming party; Applejack took up a decent portion of my time.

“Oh just fine and dandy, I do hope you like that jacket I made for you.” She batted her eyelids before quickly turned moved on to what I’m sure she viewed as a more pressing subject. “Though I did hear that you got a more surprising gift that night.” Dammit, she must have been talking to Dad.

“Ah have no idea what you mean, Rarity,” I replied, keeping my voice even and hoping she would get the hint.

“Now, now, Blade Star. I doubt the Element of Honesty would care for such denial,” she parried.

“Rarity, just leave it be,” I all but pleaded.

“Just admit that you like her and I will. Honestly, darling, it’s painful to see a stallion resisting his feelings so.” I was about to snap at her and tell her to mind her own business and that my views on love or Applejack were nothing to do with her. Unfortunately, that was the moment Twilight chose to speak up, and all Tartarus broke loose.

“Everypony, look at that, in the Everfree Forest.” My anger died as our gathering turned to look out of the window.

The Everfree is typically a dark and foreboding place, where neither sun nor moon can offer much light. That is what makes it so unsettling to most creatures. What we beheld now though was far worse. A strange, unnatural light was emanating from the forest, flickering and glowing with ill intent. The whole room went quiet after we all pressed ourselves against the barn’s windows.

“What is it?” Lizzie asked concernedly. Nopony could form a response, while my mother and Fluttershy each took to hugging her. The two attending guard captains, along with Rainbow Dash had their eyes narrowed in an effort to get a clearer view of whatever the hay it was. Even Rarity had forgotten all her gossiping and was transfixed by the strange light. And off to my side, I felt Applejack pressing herself closer to me, with Apple Bloom clinging to her.

And then, it happened.

The light began to flicker more intensely, almost vanishing then reappearing brighter than before. It seemed to emanate an angry presence, like a growing storm. And what a storm it was. With little warning, it flashed brighter than the sun. We all put our various appendages up in an effort to protect our eyes. Remembering some very old OTC training, I began to count to ten, before lowering my foreleg. We all then had a chance to see what was coming.

The ground seemed to be rippling, like water, and a huge cloud of dust was heading out from the forest. Trees swayed and buckled, while wayward clouds streaked out in all directions. If I’d had a mirror, I’d have seen my eyes widen in horror.

“Everypony down!” Shining cried, doing his best to force us away from the windows.

As soon as he spoke, my own training kicked in. I grabbed Applejack and Apple Bloom along with her, and dragged them as far away from the wall as I could, before all but forcing them onto the floor, covering them with my form. Everypony else had done something similar, though of course, I didn’t have time to take in the view. It was then, that the blast wave hit.

Instantly, windows shattered sending glass flying everywhere. Balloons hung on the tables popped and flying glass and debris slammed into them. My ears were filled with the roaring of the wind and I did my best to keep AJ and Apple Bloom protected. After about ten seconds the wave passed and I dared to look up.

The whole of the barn was a mess. Broken glass was strewn everywhere, tables had been overturned; the place looked like a fifty pound bomb had gone off. Luckily, nopony seemed to be hurt. Lizzie, Mum and Fluttershy had moved to protect the other Crusaders, whilst the rest of the Mane Six had done their best to protect themselves.

Shining and Strong Shield were the first on their hooves, quickly going back to the window, or rather where the window was to look at the forest. I quickly got up, briefly checking on everypony else, especially my family, before joining them. They both stood stock still, mouths agape.

“Sweet Celestia,” Strong Shield muttered. “What the hay is it?”

“Twiley, any ideas?” Shining asked, looking to his younger sister. The young alicorn leaned closer, studying the phenomenon.

“I’m not certain, but it looks to be near to where Blade Star and his family arrived. This could be the rift forming again.” Instantly, I began to get my family up. With any luck this may be our chance, it would certainly be a good start to the New Year to get my family home as promised.

“We best get a closer look then,” I offered, pausing to remove some dust from my Stetson. Rainbow quickly agreed with me, as did Shining. Whatever this thing was, it had the potential to drag other humans through. As a group, we left the barn and headed out into the forest.

As we headed out, I, along with AJ and Big Mac, turned to look at the barn. It was a bit battered here and there but otherwise, it seemed to have stood up to the blast quite well. To quote a certain film, it was going to need a new paint job and a shit load of screen doors.

After the blast, the rift had formed itself more clearly. Suspended above the Everfree was, to use the scientific term, a big wibbly wobbly swirly thing. It was extremely bright, with a hot white light in the centre, turning to blue as you reached the edge. All in all, it looked like a wormhole, a rift, or whatever else you may wish to call a tear in the fabric of space/time.

The rift’s arrival had had a severe effect on the Everfree and its inhabitants. In addition to felling several large trees near the epicentre of the blast, it had also created a sort of void in the weather, with a large patch of clear sky above the rift. The blast had been so strong that even creatures like manticores had run for cover, hiding under tree trunks or in bushes. I just hoped it hadn’t woken up the Ursa Major.

It was a fair trek to the rift’s location. But at a full gallop, which left my human companions behind a little, we got there in about ten minutes. Shining, AJ, Rainbow, Strong Shield and I were the first to get there, being the fastest of the group. Pinkie Pie had doubled back to check on my family, while Fluttershy had refused flat out to leave Lizzie’s side. Twilight too, was weighed down, having to carry Spike on her back.

The whole area of the clearing, which was the very same clearing where we’d first arrived, was strewn with objects. Among them I could see an alarm clock or two, books, clothes, CDs, DVDs, photo frames, pretty much everything you might find in any typical house. They were literally falling out of this rift. As I looked up, I could see what looked to be an iPad hurling toward the event horizon. As soon as it came into contact, the entire thing detonated and vanished; vaporised. Looking down, I couldn’t see anything electronic; no TVs, computers, consoles or anything else, they seemed to just blow up before passing through. By this point a large amount of stuff had collected on the forest floor.

“What do you make of this Twilight?” I called as she galloped up, her sides heaving from exertion. She quickly set her horn aglow, her eyes promptly widening.

“It’s the rift alright, Blade Star! The same one that brought you here! The entire thing has opened up again and is venting to this side. If we can reverse the energy flow through it, it should allow you to cross back to your own world!” She charged her horn with a spell.

Firing directly at the rift’s centre, Twilight’s spell caused it to fluctuate wildly. It began to flicker between a white void and what looked like a landscape. Unfortunately though, this didn’t last, the void promptly returned with a small blast that sent the princess back on her rear.

“Twiley!” Shining exclaimed, rushing over to her. “You okay?” She nodded rubbing her forehead.

“I don’t have enough power to reverse the flow; we’ll need to work together. Intertwining our magic should allow us to reverse the particle flow through the rift.” My inner sci-fi geek, combined with my knowledge of magical theory promptly spoke up.

“Twilight, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that just a little bit risky. Combining magic as far as you’ve taught me is a big no go.” By now, everypony had arrived and was either listening in, or examining either the rift, or what it was churning out. My father came over to offer his help.

“What do you mean ‘a big no go’, Bones?” he asked. I tried to think of a way to quickly explain it to him.

“Dad, we do this, well, does the phrase ‘Total Protonic Reversal’ mean anything to you?” He noticeably gulped.

“It’s risky, Blade Star, but the way I see it, this rift is barely stable now, for all we know it could collapse at any moment. If we don’t do this, we may never be able to get you and your family back to where you came from.” Twilight had a point. This could very well be the one chance we had. I turned to my dad and asked him to get Mum and Lizzie to come over here; they’d been sifting through the debris since they arrived.

“What do you think then?” I asked them. “Do you want to try it?” I may have made a couple of decisions on my family’s behalf when we first got here, but this was something we all had to agree on.

“Are we sure that it will get us home?” my mother asked. I nodded.

“Twilight says the magical signatures are an exact match and I saw a landscape when it fluctuated; it looked like Earth to me.”

“But what are the chances of it going wrong? From what you just said, if this does go south, it could destroy everything, here and back home,” my father added.

“Dad, there’s no guarantee this will ever happen again. We don’t try, and that’s it for all we know.”

“Or it may open again this time next week,” my mother countered. “We don’t know enough, never mind the risks. I say stay.”

“So do I,” my dad said, nodding.

“Me too,” followed Lizzie.

Well, that pretty much decided it. For the moment at least, we were going to stay in Equestria. I couldn’t help but still be in two minds, but I knew they were right. Personally, I did not want to go through the pearly gates as the one responsible for the destruction of at least one world. I went over to Twilight, who was stealing herself, along with Rarity, Shining and Strong Shield, to try again.

“Twilight, it’s okay, we’re staying.” She looked up in astonishment. “We all agreed; there’s no way we’re going to risk all of Equestria on an unknown chance.”

“All right, Blade Star,” she said, sounding uncertain. “As long as you’re all sure.”

“If we let the rift collapse now on its own, we may be able to open it safely later on when we’ve done more research. You know any good scientist looks before they leap.” She smiled at that.

“Okay, I’d like to collect some of this stuff for study though. Some of it looks quite…” She didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence.

I’m not sure how long I was out for, it was probably only a few seconds, but when I came to it, things had taken a serious downturn. The previously calm portal was now swirling like mad, creating a strong wind that was blowing leaves and debris around like shrapnel. The rift was fluctuating wildly; every now and again I could see the same landscape from earlier. I knew it had to be the same one because of the strange stone pillars I could glimpse every now and again. Looking around, I saw everypony else similarly recovering. The wind was bordering on deafening, and we were all forced to shout to make ourselves heard.

“Twilight, what in the name of Celestia is happening?!” I demanded.

“The rift’s destabilising, the neutron flow between the two sides isn’t equal, it’s causing the event horizon to shift. If we don’t stabilise it soon it could reach critical mass!” she warned, clearly frightened. I thought, trying to come up with some sort of plan with my existing magical knowledge that might stabilise it. As it happened though, my father interrupted all that.

“Then close the rift, seal it up!” he called. Twilight and I turned to him.

“If we do that,” Twilight warned. “The rift will seal permanently; there’ll be no way for us to get you back!”

“And if this thing blows up in our faces we won’t get back either! There’s no time to study this thing, we need to shut it off!”

“No,” I replied firmly. “Ah’m not going to let you get stranded here forever; you have the right to return home!” Thus a small but nonetheless loud argument broke out. On the one hand, Twilight and I wanted to try and stabilise the rift and get my family home. On the other, my family and the rest of the girls wanted to seal it to protect Equestria and Earth.

“I’m a princess of Equestria and I say we’re stabilising the rift!” Twilight bellowed, actually exercising her authority for a change. My father irritably turned to the two guardsmen beside him.

“Captain Armour, Captain Shield, you are both Solar Guards correct?” They both nodded. “Then as chief legal advisor to Her Grand Royal Highness Princess Celestia of Equestria, I command you to seal that rift.” Mad as it was, I later learned that my father’s position in court did place him a fair way up the food chain; as a member of the Equestrian version of a cabinet, he could order Solar Guards to act on Celestia’s behalf as long as that act could be reasonably deemed necessary to preserve Equestria, harmony and the diarchy. And I’d say sealing a potentially world destroying rift was necessary.

Since he was acting on Celestia’s behalf, he could overrule Twilight, and since it was his family who had the most to lose, Twilight relented and agreed to help seal the portal. I couldn't help but hear the advice Luna had given me not so long ago which finally swayed me: 'Blade Star, not everything is in your power. Some things you just have to accept and cope with'. So, the two captains, myself, Rarity and Twilight all gathered at the foot of the rift, not an easy task considering the fact that stuff was still flying out of it at a rate of knots.

Under Twilight’s instruction, we all began to fire off the same spell directly at the centre of the rift. Instantly, my head began to pound with the feedback effect, though with the extra help it was possible to keep the spell going. Quite quickly, our streams began to intertwine, forming one single beam aimed directly at the centre of the event horizon. Looking up at it, I saw the rift fluctuate and I got a clearer view of the landscape.

Stonehenge. That was the odd stone structure I had seen, it was clearer now, and it definitely was Stonehenge. That was miles away from where we lived, but evidently that was where that end of the rift had manifested, suggesting that it wasn’t fixed.

My examination was short lived though as the rift began to steadily seal. The feedback began to become more and more intense, going from a mild hangover to a huge migraine. As the rift shrank to about the size of a pony’s head Twilight called out.

“Hold on, everypony. When it seals, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

Finally, the rift shrank to the size of a pin prick. Then, quite simply, it exploded.

The whole area was briefly bathed in white light, just as when it had opened, and a similar blast wave followed. Off to the side I saw a hint of green. All of us were sent flying backwards, luckily we all landed safely, though I’m sure everypony got a few bruises at least.

Looking up at where the rift was there was now nothing to be seen, aside from all objects that had been brought through. My attention though, was focused mainly on my pounding head. I attempted to cast a light spell to see better, but when I tried, I found my horn only spluttered like a flooded engine.

“Twilight, there’s something wrong with my magic,” I called. I heard her groan and the tell-tale sound of a casting spell, but like me, she couldn’t.

“It must have been the blast, Blade Star. When it sealed, the influx of energy created an energy wave, it temporarily knocks out active magic. We should be okay in a day or so,” she said as we both struggled to our hooves.

We looked about, steadily getting a reply for everypony else. Rarity too found her magic to be temporarily out of action. Apart from a few cuts and bruises though, nopony was hurt. The only one we couldn’t find was Strong Shield. Calling out for him, we heard a groan from some nearby bushes. Rushing over, we began to clear it off of him.

“You okay, Captain?” I asked as we pushed away the plants. All we got was a groan.

“Dammit, that’s bucking twice,” he complained, his voice having an unusual buzz to it.

I pushed the last of the leaves and branches off expecting to find my friend. Instead, I found the exact opposite.

An enemy.

A threat.

A Changeling.

Chapter 51 - Collaborator

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Pretty much everypony went into shock when we saw the Changeling sitting there amongst the scrub. It was exactly as I remembered them; about the size of a typical pony, a black, hard exoskeleton, two flimsy wings, and the eyes. I shall not forget them as long as I live, those unsettling blue eyes, with no pupils yet showing such intelligence and cunning. Strangely though, like the pony it had impersonated, this Changeling also wore an eye patch over its right eye. And atop its head a somewhat stunted gnarled horn that enabled them to utilise a limited form of magic.

“Mother of God,” my father muttered as he examined the creature.

“Well, geez, I know I’m not perfect, but I’m not that ugly am I?” the Changeling asked, still mimicking Strong Shield’s voice, albeit with a noticeable buzzing tone. That was enough to galvanize myself and Shining into action; we quickly made to grab it.

In what seemed like slow motion, it dawned on the Changeling that its disguise was no longer working. Its eyes drifted down to its own form, widening in horror. It looked back up, right at me. And then, it ran.

Quickly it pushed the two of us aside and bolted hell for leather out into the open away from the clearing and deeper into the forest. This finally broke the suspense that had been keeping everypony else quiet and inactive.

“Come on, after it!” Shining roared. He and I immediately took off after it, the others following close behind. Rarity and Fluttershy held back to keep with my family, who were again hampered by their lack of speed over the uneven terrain. Rainbow however, had no problem keeping up with us, nor did Twilight, who both used their wings to match our faster gallop, hovering about three feet from the ground.

The Changeling had gotten a decent start on us and was a good couple hundred metres ahead, just barely in sight between the trees. We were all going as fast as we could, but for the moment, the Changeling kept ahead. I suppose that can be attributed to fear, as a wise man once said: ‘You go for a man hard enough and fast enough, he only thinks about himself, and how he might get clear of that wrath that's about to set down on him’. I must admit that in that forest, some old predatory instincts kicked in; pounding the ground I couldn’t help but feel the thrill of the chase, with the wind at my back and the proverbial bit between my teeth. I was going to catch it. Catch and kill it, kill it dead. We kept on after it, only to hear the tell-tale buzzing of insect wings a moment later. Without magic to disable him, Shining and I would be unable to follow it if it got airborne.

“Dash!” I called. “Try and fly directly above it, keep it from gaining altitude!” The Element of Loyalty wasted no time, promptly taking flight properly and performing a zoom climb to get overhead. This beast may have been fast, but nothing can outrun Rainbow Dash in a straight line. As she reached its six o’clock high, the Changeling looked behind and spotted her. It must have known it was now trapped, but it made an effort nonetheless. Buzzing its wings as hard as it could, it attempted to beat off Rainbow’s interception course. But pegasi are like birds of prey and she was able to close with it without too much effort. Still though, it wasn’t going down without a fight.

Changeling and pegasus slammed into each other in mid-air. I must confess the sound of a fast moving pony hitting the solid carapace was not pleasant. The pair instantly lost any semblance of lift and plummeted. While it would have been a case of serious injury for a human, both parties were able to survive to twenty foot drop and rolled as they hit the ground. Dash managed to pin its wings down with her hooves, giving Shining and I a chance to catch up and help.

And so the race was done, ‘scratch one bogey’ as the air force pilots would say. While the two of us lacked our usual magic, we were still both strong enough to physically restrain the Changeling. Applejack promptly doubled back to the farm to fetch her rope and we hog tied the Changeling before hauling it back to Sweet Apple Acres.

Still hogtied we threw the Changeling, with Big Mac’s help into the barn where we had previously been celebrating the New Year. This one was not off to a good start to say the least. Almost instantly, Shining grabbed it by its horn and began to interrogate it.

“Where is the real Strong Shield?” he demanded. The Changeling offered little in the way of a reply, aside from a few attempts to struggle against the ropes and a go at moving its equally bound wings. With the immediate threat over, I turned to Twilight, who had already done what I was going to suggest.

Just as I turned around, she was handing Spike a piece of parchment. Her temporarily disabled magic was having a noticeable effect. From my own experience, it is almost like losing a limb due to the sheer number of tasks unicorns use magic for. Spike quickly jotted down the letter as she dictated.

“’Dear Princess Celestia,” she began as always.

“Minutes ago we discovered a disguised Changeling here in Ponyville. It had taken the form of Strong Shield. As I’m sure you are aware by now, the rift that brought Blade Star and his family here briefly opened. When it closed again, with everypony and everyone still on this side, it produced a feedback pulse that disabled the Changeling’s spell. Please send a contingent of Royal Guards to retrieve it and begin a search for wherever the real Strong Shield is being held.
Your fellow princess, Twilight Sparkle.’” Spike promptly rolled the parchment up and placed a seal on it. As usual, he blew his own fire onto the letter to send it almost immediately directly to Celestia. This time though, nothing happened; all that came out was air.

“What the?!” he exclaimed. The young dragon tried several more times to perform his unique trick, but it seemed all in vain. It was then that Applejack spoke up.

“Wait a minute, isn’t Spike fire partly magical as well, Twi?” she asked. The princess in question promptly facehoofed and groaned.

“Of course, he’d be affected the same way we would, the fire breath is active magic,” she paused. “So how can we get in contact with the princess quickly? The regular mail system will be clogged letters. There aren’t any trains running tonight so we can’t get to Canterlot.” It was then that our resident Wonderbolt reservist piped up.

“Gimme that, Twilight.” She promptly took the scroll from her grasp. “I can get this to Canterlot in ten seconds flat!” Putting the scroll in her mouth, she took a running start out of the barn and took off. Seconds later, the sky was lit up with a literal rainbow of colours as Dash broke the sound barrier.

In spite of the seriousness of the situation, I couldn’t help but do what I did next.

“A Sonic Rainboom! Woo!” I bounced up and down briefly Pinkie Pie style before the stupidity of my actions dawned on me. “Erm, sorry.” I blushed up to my ears. Still, it was a Sonic Rainboom.

The word ‘Changeling’ appearing in Twilight’s letter, brought not only Celestia herself, but also around twenty of the Royal Guard along with her. All armed to the teeth they quickly swarmed the area around Sweet Apple Acres. After showing them where the captive was being held, Shining ordered four of them to remain with it. The majority he sent out to form a perimeter and seal off the area and prevent anypony from entering, or leaving. Then came the fun part.

When a Changeling is detected, everypony gets understandably nervous. And until proven otherwise, everypony involved, including myself, was a potential hostile. To ensure we were all who we claimed to be, a pair of unicorn guards repeatedly used a disruption spell on us all. It was similar in function to a stun spell, only it was specialised for unicorns and other practitioners of magic. Any spells being cast when a disruptive spell hit would instantly shut off. Thus it was ideal as a way of forcing down disguises. About ten minutes later, we were all cleared and released. The resident medic also checked over Twilight, Rarity, myself, Shining and Spike to ensure that the blast wave had had no permanent effect.

With the brief period of paranoia over, the guards quickly loaded the Changeling into one of their chariots, but not before Shining Armor had his say. He walked over to the Changeling, looking it right in the eye.

“Changeling,” he said quietly, his voice dripping with malice. “You are hereby placed under close arrest. You are charged with espionage, impersonating an officer of the Royal Guard, evading arrest and anything else I can think of on the way to Canterlot.” The Changeling again didn’t respond, merely nodding its head to show it had heard him. Then, they took it away.

After all but a few of the guards had departed, Celestia herself came over to speak to us. Her head was hung low and her typical maternal smile was nowhere to be found. She turned to my father and mother.

“I am sorry,” she said. “I had promised you that I would get you all home. But with the portal sealed, I am not sure we will ever be able to send you back.” My father held up his hand to stop her.

“Princess, I was the one who ordered Shining Armour to close the rift. While I do still wish to return to my home, I will not put this world at risk. Nor were the rest of my family. You have nothing to apologise for. We are still capable of living our lives; we may just have to wait a little longer.” A small smile graced the solar diarch’s features.

“That is very noble of you to say, Roger. You have my word; the best unicorns in Canterlot will keep trying to find you a way home. Now if you will all excuse me, I have to prepare for the fallout from this incident.” And with that, she returned to her own chariot and departed. There was a brief moment of silence; nopony was quite sure what to do next. It was getting on for sunrise, but none of us felt like sleeping.

“Hey, Twilight,” I said. “Why don’t we go and have a look at all that stuff that came through earlier. I want to see what turned up.” The princess nodded. And so the two of us returned to the forest.

With our magic still temporarily U/S, Twilight and I borrowed a couple of lanterns and torches from the barn as we headed back into the forest. I’d been a unicorn now for around four months, and I had already got used to having magic in my life. The disruption was quite unsettling. Worse still, it meant neither of us had our usual method of defence. Twilight at least could fly away from danger; I’d have no choice but to just run. Luckily, it seemed that the recent commotion had driven most creatures of the forest into temporary hiding.

Arriving back at the clearing, we placed the lamps we were carrying all around in an effort to brighten the area. Everything that had emerged from the rift was in a medium size pile. So the first step was to sort everything. I already knew there were no electronic devices here, but I wanted to make sure there was nothing potentially harmful.

Sifting through, I came across a few items I recognised, handing them off to Twilight. We began with books, most of which were intact; a few had scorch marks though. I found copies of Watership Down, some of the old Biggles books, a copy of On War and some Eagle annuals from the 1950’s. Then though came the good ones.

“Twilight,” I called. The mare looked up. In my hoof was an old history book from my Sixth form days entitled ‘Europe since Napoleon’. “This book contains the history of the last two hundred years of the continent on which I lived. Interested?” She promptly grabbed the book with both hooves and began to read, translating into Equestrian in her head.

After that, came the slightly more awkward ones. The funniest being when Twilight spotted a book with Celestia and Luna on the cover; my copy of The Elements of Harmony official guidebook. She quickly found the section on herself and proceeded to blush adorkably.

We then began to sift through knick knacks, a couple airplane models, a small jar containing sand from China Beach in Vietnam, a small bust of Napoleon Bonaparte, and finally a small brushable of RD, which may have been painstakingly modified to match her mane style. This promptly vanished when Scootaloo appeared as if from nowhere and took off with it as well as a t-shirt of mine which had Dash’s cutie mark on the front. We continued to sift, finding DVDs, CDs and the odd video.

“It’s a shame we can’t play any of these, Twilight. I’m sure Pinkie would love this,” I said, holding up a copy of a Fawlty Towers video. Twilight paused to think, examining the video closely.

“Blade Star, these ‘tapes’ are quite similar to our film reels you know, and these CD’s are similar to records. I’m sure if I used the right transfiguration spell I could make them compatible with Equestrian technology.” I thought back to ‘It ain’t easy being Breezies’.

“Yes, Ah suppose they are quite similar. And it can’t be harder than turning yourself and five other ponies into Breezies and back again now can it?” She giggled at that.

“That was actually a lot of fun and pretty useful too.” She stopped as she spotted something glinting on the ground. “Hey, what’s that?” She moved over towards it. Following her gaze, I saw what she had spotted. It belonged to me.

“Err, Twilight. Ah think you’d best leave that one alone,” I cautioned. So far I had done nothing to impede her search and documentation of the ‘extra-terrestrial artifacts’. To be safe, I trotted over and picked it up myself, examining it briefly. The item in question was what the USMC refer to as a ‘Hog’s tooth’. It was a typical 7.62mm round apart from one distinction, which Twilight quickly picked up on.

“Hey, there’s some writing on this. Let’s see. C-H-R-Y…” I cut her off, putting the bullet into a saddlebag in order to hide the name on it.

“Trust me, Twi. You don’t need to know about that one. Ah’ll hang onto it.” Twilight looked annoyed for a short while, before settling on just giving me the stink eye. Eventually, we completed documenting everything and collecting whatever Twilight wanted to study. Apart from the bullet, she had been able to access everything. Once her magic returned, she said she’d get to work on altering the tapes and CD’s, promising to teach me how to do it as well.

With her saddlebags bulging with stuff, she departed, leaving me alone in the forest. I took out the bullet; the one with her name on it. It had been just a little bit of dark humour on my part when I’d made it, but now, who knows. Perhaps I’d have an opportunity to use it.

I looked at the name carved into it; ‘Chrysalis’. Holding the bullet in my hoof, I remembered an old song that seemed fitting.

“You can run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time.
But the power of God’s gonna cut you down.”

(Here begins the collab scene)

After briefly stopping at the farmhouse to put some of my newly acquired stuff away, I headed back out into town. One of my closest friends had been replaced by a shape shifting love thief, and for the moment, there was nothing I could do about it except wait. I was stressed, tired and a little bit angry. In other words, I needed a drink.

I found my way to the Tavern. Strong Shield’s luggage had been collected by the Guard and everypony inside given the third degree. Walking up to the bar, I sat myself down and ordered myself a glass of Appleoosian whiskey. The stuff really has grown on me, certainly better than Old No.7. Taking a sip, I sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

"That can't be good"

Turning to the left, I saw a pony that I hadn't seen in Ponyville before. He was a unicorn and had a red mane and tail with orange at the tips and a light blue coat that was white at the ear, hoof, and horn tips. His cutie mark seemed to be half orange crystal and half blue fire. He had what appeared to be a mug of hot chocolate with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top.

"A pony only drinks alcohol with that expression for two reasons. If something is bothering them, or their face is stuck that way... bit for your thoughts?"' I snorted irritably.

“Ah didn’t realize this place had a comedian,” I replied sourly. I figured though that it couldn’t hurt to be civil to this guy. “Just a bit of trouble with a friend of mine.” Two more Royal Guards came down the stairs carrying evidence bags. My eyes followed them, my face grew more sombre and I took another swig.

"I'm assuming that trouble has something to do with the Royal Guards? If I'm right I wouldn't want to be your friend right now. At least the guard is calmer than it used to be." I let a ghost of a smile play across my face.

“Just wait, what happened tonight will kick ‘em into high gear. Remember the paranoia after the Royal Wedding?” He nodded. “That’s how bad this could get.” I stared into my glass, this would be number three now. “They caught a Changeling, right here in Ponyville.”

"Well that's not surprising. Ponyville is a lovely town after all, practically a bakery at full stock for a creature that feeds on love. And while I don't remember much about the wedding, I don't think it will be that bad. What was the Changeling doing?"

"What do you expect those scumbags to do? Son of a Diamond Dog replaced my friend and probably was using his position to feed itself. We caught it when its disguise spell failed. Guards came, took it back to Canterlot, and Ah'm stuck here feelin’ chewed up," I lamented. The whiskey was loosening my tongue more than I realized. "For all Ah know ah never met the real guy, just this imposter. And Ah was dumb enough to fall for its tricks."

"No need to be so rude. Besides, even if they swapped before you meet, why would it trick you? I hear those rank and file guys were dumb enough to fall for the whole 'I'm a Changeling too' trick. And the smart ones wouldn't come within a hundred yards of a town."

“I think it’s been disguised for a long while, somehow it managed to escape what happened to all its friends and tried to stay under the radar. Still, I’ll bet you it’s been feeding off a few ponies back in Canterlot and maybe a few here.” I paused to think. This guy was right, a Changeling like this one was no dumb moron; it was a clever little blighter compared to the common drone. Why would the one that replaced Strong Shield stay in Canterlot, and stay in the Royal Guard? With their failure to take Canterlot, they were in no position to try again. Why didn’t it just slip away?

“So why didn’t you run, Captain?” I muttered to myself. My new companion continued.

"Did the pony he was impersonating have a next of kin? Or some other type of family? Because, they have more of a right to be angry than you."

The ice cream had melted and cooled the hot chocolate to the point where it was no longer steaming. He took a sip before suddenly stopping and turned to me with a hoof out.

"Where are my manners, I haven't introduced myself. I'm Thermos," he said pronouncing it 'THərmOs.

“Blade Star,” I replied, offering him a hoof bump, which substituted for a handshake amongst ponies. This, ‘Thermos’ ran pretty hot, I almost felt a burning sensation on my hoof, yet he didn’t seem to radiate it. I knew from Twilight that Strong Shield had no one else. But this Thermos was right. If anything Twilight or Shining had more of a right to be angry; I’d only known him a couple months.

Neither of them had noticed anything to suggest Strong Shield had been replaced either, and they had far more experience; Twilight had sniffed Chrysalis out in a heartbeat. Why would she not spot something amiss in one of her best friends from Canterlot?

“It wasn’t just me who got fooled, no,” I answered. “This guy was friends with Princess Twilight, and the Captain of the Guard.” Something wasn’t right. How could it have evaded detection like that?

"Sounds like a military stallion... which is strange, because if I was a Changeling, and I'm not, I wouldn't swap with a military mind. My brother is one of those, only way to loosen him is with an entire bottle of whiskey. You'd be better off switching with Berry here. You’re not a Changeling are you Berry?"

That got the barmare's attention. "N-no. I'm not. Please don't call the guards to check. I'd promised Pinchy I'd be home for dinner."

"It's okay Berry, I was joking. Besides I still need to pay for the drink." He then turned back to me. "So, when was the last time anyone saw the original pony before 'this guy' showed up?" I paused to think, setting aside my own whiskey. It would be difficult to work that one out.

“Well, Ah reckon he’d been switched before Ah met him. So it has to have been at least a few months now. But assuming it was involved in the wedding, my guess is it’s been impersonating him for over a year and a half.” So why did it stay? Why didn’t it cut its losses and run? Plus there was no signs anypony was being heavily fed on by it. Then it hit me.

“This ain’t your common or garden Changeling, Thermos,” I said pounding my hoof on the bar. “This one was a mole.” Thermos raised an eyebrow at me in confusion. “It must’ve infiltrated a while back, even before the wedding. It was acting as a spy; a pilot fish. Now that the incursion has failed, it has nothing to do, but it couldn’t leave Canterlot without raising suspicion.” The question now was whether or not the Royal Guard had figured that out. If they treated it like a typical Changeling, they’d be wasting an opportunity. It could be that it hadn’t replaced anypony, but invented its own identity.

I had to get this information to Canterlot. That meant going there myself; the mail system was still clogged and Spike still wouldn’t be able to start sending messages until tomorrow. I quickly fished out a bag of Bits, paying for my own and Thermos’

“Thermos, you’re a damn genius,” I said. And with that, I belted out of the door to catch the night train. I was going so fast I didn’t hear him mutter into his hot chocolate.

"I was going to suggest he may be friendly, but what do I know?"

Chapter 52 - Inner Demons

View Online

WARNING: This chapter carries a 'Dark' tag due to the depiction of torture.

I slept fitfully on the overnight train. I never had quite gotten used to sleeping whist travelling. But, it was the quickest way to get to Canterlot and also the quietest; I think there might have been a half dozen other ponies on the entire train.

I had gone straight to Twilight’s library after leaving the Tavern, and asked her to relay where I was going to Applejack and the others tomorrow morning. By then I would be in Canterlot and, with any luck, well on the way to sorting this whole mess out. I had to get the message to the Guard that the Changeling they had was not a typical drone, but a spy, an agent, a rake. My biggest concern though was whether or not this Changeling was part of some larger plot against Equestria; I expected that was not the case though. Ideally, my initial hypothesis would be something near the truth; this Changeling was a leftover of the original incursion, unable to leave due to his old cover. A simple mopping up operation would suffice.

I was travelling pretty light tonight, or was it this morning? Given that I didn’t have time to go all the way back home before the overnight train left, I had nothing bar a few Bits on me. Cousin John would have been proud of me probably, the old colonial.

I wondered what they were actually doing to the captured Changeling. Did they have it in a dungeon, or maybe an interrogation room? I was no interrogator, I like to think that I wasn’t nearly cruel or twisted enough for that. Plus, it would be no easy case to break a Changeling. Still, it had to know that it was done for. Who knows, perhaps it could be convinced to switch sides.

I awoke with a jolt a few hours later as the train’s brakes came on and we pulled into Canterlot. Quickly getting to my hooves, I disembarked from the car I was in and left the station. What little pocket change I had wouldn’t pay for a fare to the castle, so I walked. The exercise would do me good in any case.

The clock was just chiming seven as I reached the gates. As ever two guards were on watch there, completely still. You could easily mistake them for statues, were it not for their eyes steadily roving around their fields of vision. I walked up to the nearest one.

“Do you know where Captain Shining Armor is?” I asked. In hindsight of course, that was a stupid move. These were Royal Guards, they were on duty. I was met with a poker face and a stony silence from both of them. As luck would have it though, I bumped into an old friend.

A Thestral is an unusual sight in the daytime. From what I understand, they do not care much for sunlight; it can over time, damage their specially adapted eyes. Plus the intense UV radiation can cause their skin to blister quite readily. So imagine my surprise when Swift Wing, one of the ponies from the Officers Club greeted me as he trotted along the street.

“Blade Star?” he said curiously. “When did you get here?” I turned around and greeted the Lunar stallion offering him a hoof bump.

“Ah’m lookin’ for Shining Armor, Swift,” I replied. “You seen him? Ah need to speak with him.” The guard’s expression changed noticeably.

“He actually sent me to look for you; I was about to head to the station and catch the train to Ponyville. You’re needed up here. We tried to contact you through Shining’s sister, but we couldn’t get through.”

“Spike’s ability got knocked out last night. My magic only came back a while ago.” While I was glad to be able to cast again, my abilities were still a bit worse for wear. Swift gestured for me to follow him.

“Come on, kid. We best get downstairs; Shining’s been trying to get this thing to talk for hours.”

“What does he want me to do then?” I asked. After all, I knew little about interrogating POWs.

“No idea, all he said was to pick you up and bring you down here.” And with that, we headed into the bowels of the castle

After many twists and turns, we eventually reached an area that resembled a cell block. On each of the walls were one way mirrors, allowing visitors to look in on suspects. All but one of these were empty. The last one at the far end of the hall held three occupants. Strapped to a chair, was the Changeling, and standing across from him was Shining as well as Major Hartwin. While I had expected the Captain of the Guard to be there, I had not anticipated the Major’s presence. Though of course, he did have some notable expertise and like Shining had ‘met’ the Changelings before.

I had expected this interrogation to follow more of a police style rather than a military one, given the ponies rather pacifist nature. So when I saw Hartwin strike the Changeling across the face, I gasped in surprise and almost cried out. Through the built in intercom, I could hear what was being said.

“Where is Queen Chrysalis?” Shining asked as the Changeling righted itself.

“I don’t know,” the Changeling replied, its voice hoarse and dry. This was rewarded with another punch, this time to the gut.

“Where is Queen Chrysalis?” Shining asked, keeping his a voice a monotone.

“I don’t know!” the Changeling replied. Its voice was raised; most likely it was attempting to shout at its two tormentors. Shining sighed irritably and motioned Hartwin to follow him; the two stepped out of the room and almost bumped into us.

“Blade Star. Good you’re here. Swift got you here faster than I expected.” Swift Wing promptly saluted his superior officer.

“Ah got here this morning, Shining. Took the overnight train last night.”

“Oh, so did my message get through in the end?” he asked. “I tried to contact Twilight but I thought Spike’s fire breath was still knocked out.” I shook my head and began to tell him what I had uncovered.

“Ah think Ah’ve found something out about your prisoner, Captain,” I answered. “He ain’t no normal Changeling.” I then went over the basics of my conversation with Thermos last night and the revelations it had produced. “If this was a normal drone, it would have fled by now; instead it came back and stayed where it was. My guess is it that it was meant to gather information. But now that their attack has failed, it’s stuck here; its cover is too deep for it to just slip away.” The two digested this information in silence. Eventually, Shining found his tongue.

“Alright, here’s what we’ll do. Swift Wing, I want you to quietly work with Signals to alter all our communication codes and passwords; we have to assume they’re compromised. Stranded or not, this Changeling may have been passing messages” The Thestral nodded. “Major, can we use this information to our advantage?”

“I think so,” the griffon replied. “Any spy can be turned, particularly when they’re desperate; this may even be a chance to get eyes and ears inside the Changeling hive.” He chucked mirthlessly. “Or what’s left of it.”

“Captain,” I interjected. “If Ah may, why did you send for me anyway?” Hartwin spoke up to answer my question.

“You’re here by special request actually,” he said. “We’ve been trying to get that bug to talk for the past five hours. The only responses we get are ‘I don’t know’ and ‘Let me talk to Blade Star’. So, here you are.” I pondered what this could mean.

Changelings are creatures of deception; they play on your weaknesses and hide where you least expect. Perhaps this Changeling, which had befriended me over the last couple of months thought it could find an ally in me. I’d been deceived by this thing before though, and I had a whole lot of hatred for the species. I wasn’t in any mood to be forgiving. It was time to let my human side out.

There’s an old saying my grandfather used to say on occasion: ‘Like the greatest virtue and the worst dogs, the fiercest hatred is silent’. I suppose this summed up my feelings toward Changelings. I didn’t particularly care for them as a species. I saw them as thieves, bandits, deserving of the fate that befell them. Unlike Shining though, I didn’t want to scream or shout at them, just talk. I would be most grateful of an opportunity to ‘talk’ with one of them.

I walked into the room the Changeling was sitting in. It was warm, dry, and comfortable, in other words no good. If you want to get answers, the subject must not be comfortable for any length of time. I decided to try an illusion spell Twilight had taught me back in November. Its function was similar to that of a holodeck, insofar as that it allowed you to create a virtual environment. She would sometimes use it when she wanted to study somewhere other than the library. To quote a certain clock repair pony, I changed the desktop setting.

I walked into what could be described as the traditional interrogation room. With a fair bit of effort, I was able to transform it all into a place much more fitting. The drab grey walls and the one way mirror, even the door, were replaced by beautiful purple crystals, while the floor became plain earth. The buzz of the overhead light was replaced by dripping water and the temperature dropped noticeably. All that remained when I was finished was the desk and the two chairs. I sat myself down across from the Changeling. It regarded me curiously.

“Is that supposed to scare me, Rookie?” It asked, still mimicking its old voice.

“No,” I replied. “Ah just thought we should go somewhere more appropriate to talk. You ever been down here before, perhaps with an alicorn princess in tow?” The Changeling, chuckled, in a weird buzzing way.

“And here was I thinking I might get a fair hearing. You’re not exactly cut out for the interrogator role are you?”

“Ah wasn’t aware that Ah was interrogating you,” I countered coldly. “If Ah was interogatin’ you, Ah’d have stuck a hot iron poker in your chest and pulled your wings off by now.” The Changeling started at that.

“Rookie, listen to me. I’m not one of them. I was once but not anymore.” Its pitiful plea of a Nuremburg defence merely intensified my hatred of my former friend’s species. With one right hook across the table, I hit him on the side of the neck (it doesn’t show a bruise as easily there). The Changeling had the breath knocked out of it and clattered to the ground. I sighed.

“Why do you lie to me Changeling? You know Ah can’t stand liars. Though Ah suppose you can’t help it. Is that it?” I tilted my head in mock confusion. “Just your instinct, just your nature, you’re just a scorpion?” A small part of me asked why I wasn’t giving the poor sod a chance; he had been my friend after all.

“You really do hate me, don’t you? Not just Changelings, but me personally.”

“Ah’d say Ah have every reason to hate you. You and your kin haven’t exactly been a friend to Equestria.” Images of that fateful day flashed in my mind. Twisted blue eyed monsters grinning evilly. Buildings burning, ponies running in fear, the Guard nowhere to be seen. And at the centre of it all, that evil, twisted demon they called their queen. Somewhere amongst their ranks had been the creature that now sat before me. “Where Ah come from, your queen would probably be up against a wall by now.” And with that, I sank to my lowest.

“But Ah guess you’ll have to do.”

A ring of magic appeared around the Changeling’s neck, lifting it up out of its seat. The ring promptly began to shrink and I heard it struggling, slowly choking. I smiled as unbeknownst to me, my aura had turned black and purple smoke poured from my green and red eyes. It was creatures like this that had almost destroyed Equestria; one of the few places where I was truly happy. I reduced the ring’s radius even more, listening to its struggled breaths all the while drawing on the most powerful source of dark magic.

“Celestia forgives all, Changeling. But Ah’m just a unicorn; so Ah don’t have to.” And at last, the Changeling cracked.

“For the love of Celestia, let me go!” it wailed through my hold. I continued to grin.

“Don’t worry; this’ll all be over in another minute or so.” I taunted cruelly.

“I’m-I’m not spying!” it managed to wheeze. I released my hold on its neck, allowing it to drop, spluttering and coughing, the few feet back to the chair. The little voice telling me to hear him out grew louder.

“So why are you still here then?” It seemed Thermos’ idea of the Changeling being forced to stay behind was correct. Still, I had no reason to trust it; Changelings after all aren’t exactly revered for their honesty. I kept my horn flared, threatening a repeat performance. The Changeling, sighed, I suppose is the right term.

“You better bring Shining Armour in here.”

It was about fifteen minutes later, and I had been joined by Shining, the Major and a court reporter from Day Court who would take down the Changeling’s statement. Our little gathering provided a spectrum of expressions. Personally, I was willing to listen to what it had to say; my views on Changelings hadn’t changed, but I believed this one might be of help. Hartwin seemed impassive and neutral. Shining on the other hand had an expression of barely contained fury. In spite of my assurance that this this Changeling probably had no connection to the hive, he still saw it as a threat and wanted to be rid of it as quickly as possible. I had kept the illusion spell active; it was a better vista than the drab room we sat in anyway.

“Alright, Changeling,” I said. “Start from the beginning.” And with that, it began its story.

“Well, first of all, I am the only Strong Shield. I never captured or replaced anypony. I simply took a generic disguise and joined the Guard. That was about six years before the wedding. My history from then on is just as it appears in my record. I rose through the ranks and quickly found myself in command of my own section here in Canterlot.

“What they didn’t know was that I was slowly passing information back to the hive. I was one of the first Changelings to venture beyond the borders of the Badlands. As soon as my reports reached our queen, she began to draw up plans to take over this nation and use it as a feeding ground for generations.” Shining cut it off.

“Yes, yes, we’re all familiar with your queen’s megalomaniacal plan,” he said sneeringly. “How about you skip to the part where you betrayed your friends and guardsmen?” Strong Shield glowered at him briefly before continuing.

“Anyway,” he went on. “My role then changed. I was now to disrupt the operations of the Royal Guard when our army attacked. This would give us an advantage in battle. I still remember it all so clearly.

“When the shield came down I had sent many of the guards under my command to far off areas of the city. They would be unable to reach the castle to relieve it. They would then be bottled up by our army and dealt with later. I still had my disguise active. I remember,” he paused. “I remember watching it all. Our supposedly well trained and disciplined army all but ransacked the city. I was dumbfounded, they attacked mares and foals, pillaged, destroyed everything. I was loyal to my queen, but I would not stand by while such things happened.”

Strong Shield, since that was now assuredly his name in my mind, paused again. Remembering all this was clearly difficult for him. For the first time, I got up from my seat and walked round to his side and placed a hoof on his shoulder. The carapace felt strange to the touch.

“Take your time,” I said reassuringly. Off to the side of me, I saw Shining scowl. Strong Shield resettled himself and then continued.

“I found one of the commanders of our forces. I demanded to know what he was doing. When he brushed my concerns off, I challenged him. He said I had spent too much time amongst ponies, that I’d forgotten my role, that I was no Changeling, that I was a traitor. I attacked him for that. That’s how I got this.” He gestured to his eye patch, the one constant regardless of what form he took.

When I first walked into that room, I had felt nothing but hatred for the vile demon that sat across from me. It was an opponent, an enemy, a monster even. Now though, I could not hold to that view. We all think of the enemy in the way I thought of Changelings, and that view doesn’t last long when you actually meet one. My views had been altered though my feelings toward Chrysalis remain unchanged. But I could not blame Strong Shield after what he had just told me. It is one thing to take a bullet for your own country, it is quite another to lose your eye for a nation that is not your own. I felt sick over what I had done to him and what I had contemplated doing. Amazingly though, he was not quite done.

“They managed to gouge out my one eye and they were about to start on the other one, that was when two of my own guards came over and pried them off. I still had my disguise on so I was able to play it as being jumped by them. It was then I truly switched sides. I took command of what little of the Guard was near enough to render aid and got them to hole up in the concert hall. By using some love from the guards for their princesses to increase my firepower, we were able to pose enough of a threat that most of the forces in the city were sent our way, everything else was sent after the Element Bearers. If those forces had been in the palace, there’s no way, Cadence would have been able to reach Shining Armour unnoticed.

“We held that perimeter right until the end when the shield reactivated. When that happened, I got sent flying just like every other Changeling, I guess the spell Princess Cadence used didn’t care about my intentions, just my species. Luckily, it didn’t send me out of the city, only to the outskirts; I was able to make my way back to the palace in the confusion.” He paused. “And then, I re-joined the guard, cutting all links with the hive. I knew we needed love to survive, but I decided conquest and destruction was not the answer.”

As Strong Shield finished his story, we all sat in silence. To my mind, he was almost a hero for what he had done, what he had told us certainly explained the night terror I had witnessed back at the library; he was lucky not to have PTSD. But, he had betrayed both sides, and as a wise man once said; ‘Espionage is the world’s second oldest profession, and just as honourable as the first’. Finally, I managed to put together enough words to form a sentence.

“So what do you intend to do now then, Strong Shield?” I asked.

“I am a guard,” he responded. “And I’ll stay a guard until the day I die, or Equestria no longer has need of me.” It was immediate with no hesitation. I didn’t have Applejack’s talent for spotting liars, but my gut told me Strong Shield had meant what he said. I placed my hog’s tooth on the table.

“Captain, what you just told me hasn’t changed my views on Changelings. I still think you are all twisted little freaks. But it has changed my views on you. You aren’t just some mindless drone. If what you’ve told me is true, you played a role in saving Equestria and possibly Shining’s life.” The Captain of the Guard snorted in disgust. I removed the old bullet I had carried with me and looked at it and the name carved on its side. “You are not her; this round isn’t meant for you.” I put it back under my hat and got up, turning to Shining.

“Sir, Ah request that you allow Strong Shield to take his duties again. We can set up a cover story to convince ponies to trust him. As long as he keeps his disguise active, there should be no problem.” Shining looked at me as if I had gone mad. His face turned into a mask of calm, Strong Shield’s story had evidently not softened him as it had me. He was about to throw a retort back in my face when a voice came over the intercom.

“I agree, Blade Star,” Celestia said. My brief fright caused the illusion spell to drop just as the Princess of the Sun entered the room. She looked at Strong Shield. I never thought I’d see her kind, gentle expression being directed toward a Changeling. “I see no reason why he cannot re-join the guard. Unless you have any objections Shining?” She turned to him. The captain still looked on the verge of losing his cool, but he recognised Celestia’s question for what it was and shook his head.

With that, the majority of us left. Hartwin and Celestia headed back upstairs, the princess being due back in Day Court and the Major due for some P/T exercises. I too turned to leave; with this whole mess, for the most part, sorted out and Equestria in no apparent danger, I would be glad to return home to Ponyville and allow things to return to normal. Well, as normal as they were. However, I noticed that Shining was not following, indeed, he seemed rooted to the spot where he stood. I turned the corner and watched the unfolding spectacle through the mirror.

Shining had far more reason to despise Changelings than me. He would never say it, but I know he saw it as his own personal defeat and failure, his own wife kidnapped, his nation under attack, and he had been entirely oblivious. And here was one of the creatures responsible. Like I said before, the fiercest hatred is silent.

He glared at Strong Shield, fire in his eyes. He didn’t know I was still there. Perhaps the Changeling turned guardsman was due to have an ‘unfortunate accident’. He charged up his horn; a powerful, most likely lethal spell, it convulsed with his purple aura. It was damn near close to descending into the realms of dark magic, simply due to the strength of the emotion behind it. As he glared at Strong Shield, I couldn’t help but see myself, I felt my heart sink. There was nothing I could do, I’d never reach him in time; I had no choice but to watch.

He stood there a moment longer, his horn pointing straight at Strong Shield. Then without warning, he tilted his head upward and unleashed the spell. A beam shot from his horn and impacted with the far wall, leaving a black burn all over it.

“Cross me, Changeling,” he said, almost whispering. “And you will regret it.” He then turned around and left, not noticing me as he headed back up the stairs. As soon as I was sure he was gone, I rushed in to check on Strong Shield, my friend. Though after everything that had happened I doubted we were still friends.

Equestria, as much as most humans know it, is known for its occasional musical numbers. It was actually one of the first things I asked Twilight about along with a few questions on her knowledge of the species Pinkius Picus. Apparently, they did happen from time to time; ponies did break out in song when the mood took them. Up to this point, I had seen nothing of this facet of Equestrian life. But as Strong Shield got to his hooves, I was treated to a duet.

It began with a few blaring trumpets, which quickly gave way to the Changeling bursting into song. Even more oddly, it was a song I recognised.

“Who is this pony?
What sort of devil is he
To have me caught in a trap
And choose to let me go free?
It was his hour at last
To put a seal on my fate
Wipe out the past
And watch me clean off the slate
All it would take
Was a flick of his knife.
Vengeance was his
And he gave me back my life!”

Instantly, green fire swept over the grinning Changeling’s form as violins began to play feverently. Regardless of my feelings toward Changelings, they do know how to put on a show. As it receded, I was met by the familiar face of Strong Shield the unicorn, blue coat, brown mane and that same eye patch. I couldn’t help but smile.

I followed him back up the stairs toward the main halls of the castle. Much to our surprise though, we found Shining there still. He was staring at the stained glass window depicting the defeat of Chrysalis and her army. And just like Strong Shield, he began to sing, pacing before the windows as he went. Any foal could hear the anguish in his voice

“Damned if I'll live in the debt of a thief!
Damned if I'll yield at the end of the chase.
I am the Guard and the Guard is not mocked
I'll spit his pity right back in his face
There is nothing in the world we both are
It is either the Shield or the Star.
And my thoughts fly apart
Can this thing be believed?
Shall his sins be forgiven?
Shall his crimes be reprieved?

He paused briefly as the violins faded, and turned to look at the window completely, his back to us.

And must I now begin to doubt
Who never doubted all these years?
My heart is stone and still it trembles
The world I have known is lost in shadow.
Is he from heaven or from hell?
And does he know
That granting me my life that day
This stallion has killed me even so?”

The music finally faded and disappeared, its origin still a mystery to me. Shining hung his head low before the image of him and his wife. I could understand his pain. Not only did he have to live with the fact that had been duped, but also saved by creatures that stole his love and used it as a weapon. I was about to go and try to offer some comfort, but the unicorn by my side stopped me and went over himself.

Shining remained where he was, pretty much unaware of our presence. He noticeably started when Strong Shield put a hoof on his shoulder.

“Sir, what I did that day, I didn’t do it for you. I did for everypony I know here. I never had the chance to save you. After all, it was your reactivated shield spell that saved everypony in Canterlot. It is I who is in your debt, not the other way around.” Shining pondered this for a moment before lifting his head and turning to look at his comrade.

“Come on, let’s go down to the club; I could use a drink.” Figuring that my job here, if it had ever existed, was done, I quietly excused myself and caught the train back home. I would have to face Strong Shield another time, still, the New Year was looking up.

Chapter 53 - Aftermath

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I was glad as ever to walk back through the archway and onto Sweet Apple Acres. It seems that anytime anypony from Ponyville goes to Canterlot, they’re either there on business or the fate of Equestria is in jeopardy. Lovely city and all, but I’ll stick with a rural life thank you.

I’d stopped by Twilight’s library as soon as I had gotten back. I told her what had happened, admittedly I airbrushed out the fact that her brother had been using Strong Shield like a punching bag when I arrived and had nearly killed him when I left, never mind the fact that I’d almost strangled him to death. Nevertheless, I told her both what had actually happened and the cover story that would be fed out in a few days. A rogue changeling was captured and the guard it was impersonating freed. Only a few ponies would ever know the truth. While Strong Shield had no qualms with ponies, it was doubtful that any guard would be willing to follow his orders as a Changeling.

I now considered the matter closed and above all else, wanted to move on from it and get on with my life. Said life of course had taken an odd turn. I was now stuck here, forever, as was my family. I still wasn’t sure what I ought to be feeling. But so far, we all seemed to have taken it well. Mum and Dad both had good jobs and a home, I was more than content with my lot, and even Lizzie seemed to be fairly happy with Fluttershy. I’m sure you’d expect us to all be sad, but why? If we had been separated then yes, anyone in their right mind would be. But we were all together, we were all happy; there wasn’t really anything to cry about. We had a good life.

As I reached the farmhouse, I was quickly set upon by the two younger females of the household. Apple Bloom immediately bounded up to me and wrapped herself round my neck in one of the most adorable hugs I’ve ever been given. Her sister was slightly more restrained, smiling at me as the filly clung on for dear life. Seeing the opportunity to do something anypony with a cowpony hat does, I touched the brim of my Stetson.

“Ma’am,” I said, grinning slightly. AJ briefly hugged me in return.

“Howdy, Bones,” she said kindly as she released me. “Good to have you back with us.” At this point the littlest Apple could hold on no longer and dropped to the ground in front of me. I leaned down and briefly nuzzled her. She was such a wonderful little filly. While I never saw myself as having children, I treated her like the daughter I never had. After all, her only father figure aside from me was Big Mac, and he already had the job of an older brother.

We all headed back inside, AJ had just finished her rounds with the cattle and they were all about to sit down for lunch. Train breakfasts aren’t exactly much, so I quickly followed suit. We were all treated to a proper hearty meal, I'd missed the most important meal of the day after all. It wouldn’t be long now before the farm started up again. By early February, we would need to start ploughing the fields for the next crop and planting everything as part of Winter Wrap Up. After that, the trees would all have to undergo a health check. Inevitably, some didn’t survive the winter and would be chopped down, a new sapling replacing it. That meant visually inspecting every tree on the farm. Fun times.

I relaxed for a while back at the farm with AJ and Big Mac. After greeting me, Apple Bloom had gone back to her friends. They were still heavily into astronomy as a possible cutie mark, but even more interesting (and alarming), was the fact that Scootaloo had created some sort of shrine with the various bits of Rainbow Dash merchandise she had acquired, the centrepiece being the brushable pony figure she had found amongst the objects from the rift. I may be a bit of a hard-core brony, but Scootaloo took things to a whole other level.

In the end, with not much happening back at the farm, I decided to go out to town to see a few ponies. In particular, I wanted to apologise to Rarity for snapping at her like I had. With all the chaos and confusion of the rift opening and Strong Shield’s unmasking, I hadn’t had the chance.

Like everypony else, Rarity had little to do in the bleak midwinter. Most of her orders had been completed before the snow came. Now all she had to keep herself occupied was her new spring line, and she had a good couple of months before she would need to have those ready. I entered through the front of the shop, the small bell above the door chiming happily. Rarity called from her back room.

“I’ll be with you in just a minute, Darling.” A few moments later she trotted out, her spectacles still perched on her snout. She smiled kindly when she saw me, looking decidedly out of place in her froufrou shop. “Hello, Blade Star.”

“Mornin’ Rarity,” I replied, pausing to remove my hat, as a gentlecolt ought to. “Ah’m not interruptin' anythin' am I?” Those glasses of hers usually meant she was busy working. I’m a bit of a Fluttershy in that way; I don’t like inconveniencing people.

“No, not at all, Darling. I was just about to take a break from all that anyway. Would you care to join me for a cup of tea?” While I am not usually one to partake in high tea, I hadn’t had a cup in days and it would probably do me some good. Tea does help restore the soul if you ask me. I therefore accepted her invitation and after hanging my Stetson on a hat stand, we adjourned to her kitchen.

About ten minutes later, I found myself sitting with Rarity in her lounge, a typically stylised affair bearing the hallmarks of house in Canterlot. Okay, at times Rarity likes to play the upper-class mare, but deep down she’s no different from anypony else in town. She wouldn’t be her element otherwise. Rarity had sprawled herself out on a sofa, with a cup of tea (in fine china of course) sitting on a small attendant table. I on the other hand, had settled myself down on one of the comfortable cushions than dotted the room, the tea held in my magic.

“So, Darling,” Rarity began as she fully settled herself. “What brings you to my humble abode this fine day?” I couldn’t help but smile at that; humble was not a word that described Carousel Boutique.

“Well, first of all Rarity, Ah wanted to apologise for snappin' at ya the other day. That wasn’t right of me, you meant well after all.” She blushed a little at that. “And Ah figured Ah might as well hear you out, since we were all interrupted at the party.” I had undergone something of a change in mind-set over the last couple of months. I had known for a good long while that Applejack and I had gotten close, but it hadn’t been until she kissed me on Hearth’s Warming Eve that I’d truly started to realise how close. I was now in a sort of middle ground, torn between the idea of romance and my long standing attitude toward love.

“No you were right, Darling. I shouldn’t have been as pushy as I was. But what do you mean ‘hear me out’?” she asked.

“Well, Ah’m sure you’ve got a load of advice you want to give me,” I replied. “Ah mean, other than the Princess of Love, you are the foremost authority on the subject.” She tittered at that, setting her tea down on the tray.

“I can hardly do that if you haven’t answered my original question though, can I? Do you love Applejack or not?” I paused, sighing to myself.

“Ah’m not sure, Rarity,” I answered after a lengthy silence. “Ah mean, Ah like her, but…” I trailed off. Rarity quickly started up again.

“Darling, given what you told me back in Canterlot, I’m assuming this is your first foray into the romantic world, correct?” I nodded, somehow that made me feel slightly ashamed. “You’ve never had so much as a crush on somepony, er, someone?” Again, I shook my head.

“It is kinda weird when you think about it, isn’t it?”

“Not if you haven’t seen someone who you like, Blade Star,” she replied comfortingly.

“You do realise that’s cheesy even by your standards,” I countered, doing my upmost not to laugh. Rarity briefly sent a glare my way before cracking a smile herself.

“So what has your plan been then, Darling?” she asked. “You haven’t just been ignoring her have you?”

Well, I hadn’t been ignoring her, had I? I mean, okay I hadn’t exactly given a clear indication of whether or not I felt the same, but I hadn’t flat out ignored her. I may not care for love, but I do have a basic understanding of romance. I suppose you could say I had been neutral about it. Yes, that fits, neutral. I hadn’t rejected or accepted her feelings; I was thinking about it. We were still really close friends. When I told Rarity this titbit of information though, she was not best pleased.

“You can’t just leave her waiting for an answer like that!” she said, all but exploding at my apparent stupidity. She paused, taking a moment to compose herself; a lady does not shout after all. “Darling, that is something of an irresponsible attitude, and as Applejack’s friend, I must ask you not to ‘lead her on’ as they say. If you do like her, then for Celestia’s sake take the plunge, if not, let her down now else you break her heart.”

“Never mind breaking her heart, what about when Big Mac breaks me?” Okay, I was redirecting the conversation, but I had taken on what she had said.

I stayed with the fashionista for another twenty minutes or so, before I took my leave. Rarity would be looking after the Crusaders this evening, not to mention her work on the new spring line. As for me, I intended to drop by the library to help Twilight with her ‘research’; at present the place resembled Warehouse 13 and the academic was cataloguing everything. So, taking my hat from the stand, I headed off, wishing Rarity a good afternoon, and with my attitude toward love slightly altered.

I found that Twilight had already sequestered herself in her basement when I arrived. Having left Spike in charge of running the library, she had gathered all of the ‘artifacts’ from the Everfree and had taken them down there. Heading into the basement, I found her examining, in minute detail, the various books, clothes, and random knick knacks she had deemed important. Much to my amusement, she had separated everything into neat little piles, one of which was labelled ‘unknown’.

“Hey Twilight,” I said as I walked down the stairs. The alicorn looked up at me; the fierce need to learn in her eyes.

“Oh perfect!” she exclaimed. “Blade Star, I need you to tell me what these things do!” I quickly found myself levitated over to the ‘unknown’ pile.

From my perspective it was quite funny. Most of these items were run of the mill with little to distinguish them. But to Twilight and other ponies, the idea of a die cast toy car was quite out there. I began to sort through the random junk.

“Right, let’s see,” I muttered to myself. “Toy, electric shaver, Swiss Army knife, Ah’ll take that. Er, 360 controller, broken, broken, hair dryer, ballpoint pen, boson’s call and that’s a wad of blue tack.” Twilight looked at me amazed, and with a still semi-manic look on her eye said;

“Tell me everything.”

So I spent the next twenty minutes explaining the concept of motor cars, video games, hair styling, and the basics of sailing in the nineteenth century. That seemed to satisfy her curiosity, for a while.

I took a look at the various other things she had collected. I first took a look at all the books she had scavenged. A few quickly caught my eye.

“Oh, I bet Dash would love these Twilight,” I said, levitating a few Commando comics my father had given me. I quickly caught on to others. “And Pinkie would love this one.” Twilight took the large almost-tome from me.

“How to think like a bat?” she asked.

“It’s a philosophy book my old teacher gave me back in high school,” I explained. As I continued I found some others for various other ponies. For AJ, ‘Heart of the West’, for Rarity ‘Great Expectations’ and for Fluttershy ‘Watership Down’. I took the book for AJ, whist Twilight said she’d suggest the rest to her friends next time she saw them.

We then took a look at the various videos, CDs and DVDs that had come through. I quickly found a copy of ‘The Untouchables’ and asked Twilight to turn it into a film reel. The alicorn promptly levitated the DVD, case and all, and began to cast her spell. She told me it took a fair bit of effort, but a unicorn could accomplish it. With that, she cast the spell and the case began to warp, eventually forming into an old fashioned film reel, which then settled back on the table. I then attempted to copy her example and we took turns turning good films and albums into reels and records.

After that, I moved on to the various clothes she had collected. While I didn’t really have much need for them, I did ask Twilight to send those that belonged to my family back to them. She was mostly curious about the synthetic materials used to make them more than anything else. Scootaloo of course, had promptly made off with my brony t-shirts, presumably to add to her collection of all things Rainbow Dash.

However, as I searched through the pile, I managed to find another one that I had. It was dark blue, slightly past navy blue. On the front was the eerie image of the ‘Mare in the Moon’ and above and below it was the legend ‘The Moon shall rise again’. I quickly seized onto this with both hooves.

“Twilight, can you alter this to fit a pony?” I asked excitedly. The purple bookworm nodded, having somewhat calmed down from her initial knowledge high and cast the spell on the t-shirt. Like before it began to warp and contort, before eventually stabilising again. It was pretty much the same as it had been. Only now, it was slightly longer to fit around my barrel and the shoulders and chest area had been altered to cope with the new shape. I quickly tried it on for size; it fit perfectly.

“Wow, Rarity better watch out, Twilight. This is great,” I said. The alicorn shied away from my praise. Even though she’s an alicorn princess, she still doesn’t like to be seen as boastful or prideful. I removed the shirt and tucked it into my saddlebags and resettled my hat.

It was getting fairly late in the afternoon now, so I figured it would be a good time to head home. Twilight sent Spike out with me; he’d be returning clothes to Lizzie and my parents. We chatted for a bit about the sheer amount of stuff Twilight had in the basement. Feeling kind, I handed him one of the small toy cars I’d picked up.

As I walked in through the kitchen door, I took out the boson’s call and piped the side, startling Granny Smith out of her afternoon nap. I also managed to attract Applejack’s attention.

“That you, Bones?” she called from the hallway.

“Yeah, ‘Jack, it’s me. C’mon back here; Ah got some stuff for you and AB.” After successfully corralling the littlest member of the Apple family, Applejack came through to the kitchen. Setting my saddlebags down, I began to remove the various trinkets I’d got for them, placing them on the table.

“What’s all this stuff, Blade Star?" Apple Bloom asked. I chuckled, handing her a small Jew’s harp I’d picked up.

“Just some late Hearth’s Warmin’ presents. You’d never believe all the stuff that came out of that portal. Twilight’s been in her basement for hours.” I passed the book I’d picked up to AJ. “Thought you might like this too, ‘Jack; it’s a collection of stories about the Old West, kinda like Dodge Junction and Appleloosa.” The two thanked me for the numerous little gifts I brought back for them. Between me and Twilight, a lot of the stuff had been shifted around.

In addition to returning my family’s old clothes, Twilight had also sent the copy of On War to her brother and sent a few books to the archives in Canterlot. I’d also found a few coins and notes from my dad’s collection, including a one million mark note (which was worth about thrupence in the 1920’s). I’d also found some old teaching books my mom had had, along with some work books for primary schools. Maybe she could take them in to school some time.

By late evening, everypony had settled down again. In spite of its difficult nature, Apple Bloom had mastered her new harp quite quickly, though she was still sore about not getting a cutie mark for it. With a little help, AJ had gotten into the book I had given her and was translating almost as quickly as Twilight. She was currently halfway through a tale entitled ‘A Call Loan’.

Granny Smith had gone to bed not long ago, at her age she needed the extra rest considering all the work she did. Big Mac on the other hand, had joined Apple Bloom with his new harmonica and was succeeding in given the whole house a Badlands sort of feel.

As for me, I was flicking through the calendar. It wasn’t long now until Winter Wrap Up when we’d all be back at work. At this point I was genuinely looking forward to it; the winter felt like it had been going on forever, it would be nice to see green fields again.

Interlude 7 - The Crystal Empire

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“Respectfully, your highness, I would argue that the defendant has no case to answer for,” I said as I sat alongside the solar princess, having been called to oversee a criminal case that morning. “The only evidence offered by Mr. Pumpkin amounts to a series of his rantings against the character of all Griffons. Aside from such evidence being inadmissible, there is simply too much reasonable doubt for this case to proceed. Furthermore, I would recommend Lemon Pumpkin be charged with wrongful arrest under the Rights of the Commoner Act of 1254.”

I finished my brief analysis as Celestia looked down at the two parties. In the defence area was a young Griffon, who had recently arrived in Equestria only to be accused of theft by a local shop owner. On the other side, Lemon Pumpkin was a longstanding citizen of Canterlot. He admitted he disliked Griffons greatly, somehow this was to him sufficient evidence to place the youngster under a citizen’s arrest and bring him before this morning’s Day Court. The unicorn was a toe rag.

Celestia, as ever remained impassive, though with some practice, I had become able to occasionally perceive her feelings on an issue. It didn’t take a genius to tell that she agreed with my recommendation and my mental assessment of Lemon Pumpkin. She cleared her throat before passing her judgement.

“I am inclined to concur with my legal advisor, Lemon Pumpkin. While it is clear that goods are missing from your store, I cannot in good conscience pass sentence against this Griffon. The idea that you would assume somepony’s guilt based on their race unsettles me, I would like to think that my little ponies know better.” At this point, the unicorn withered under her gaze, like a scolded child. “However, I will not pass sentence on you either. You will return to your shop with two of my guards, who will conduct an investigation into this matter. Case is dismissed.” With that, she pounded a hoof on the marble twice, officialising the sentence.

The young Griffon was quickly released from his bonds and proceeded to glare daggers at his pony tormentor before bowing and departing. Said unicorn too offered a much quicker bow and retreated with two guards in tow. With court quiet, I turned to the princess.

“That was unusually lenient of you, Princess. If I may say so?” I said. Typically, in criminal cases, Celestia was a bloodhound, not stopping until the guilty party was found and justly punished. The alicorn chuckled and ruffled her swan like wings.

“You may, Roger. But I thought in this case, Lemon needed a big carrot and a small stick.” I raised an eyebrow at her quoting of Realist theory. “He has learnt his lesson for the moment. But he also knows I shall not be as lenient a second time.”

At that moment, a guard approached the two of us carrying an official looking scroll. It bore an unusual seal of a pink heart, something that made me wince a little inside. Even by the standards of Equestria it was girly, and that comes from a man who rides a pink train to work each morning. Celestia typically had no problem with me asking questions, and since she had opened the scroll here rather than in her private study, I felt bold enough to ask.

“It is an invitation, my loyal advisor; from Princess Cadance of the Crystal Empire.” I wracked my brain to bring forth the necessary knowledge. The Crystal Empire was a small protectorate of Equestria far in the north, only recently returned from a sort of exile whose nature I couldn’t fully understand. However, I did know that the name was closely intertwined with the character Bones had played on Nightmare Night.

“That is the empire that King Sombra enslaved isn’t it?” I asked like a hopeful schoolboy. Celestia nodded.

“Correct, the nation is still somewhat finding its feet after its return and liberation. In a few days’ time, a ceremony will be held to celebrate Sombra’s defeat. It seems I have been invited.” I guess that meant I would be assisting Princess Luna for a couple days then. It would be nice to get to know Celestia’s little sister better. However, Celestia’s next question put that idea to bed. “It seems I will be allowed to bring a guest or two. Would you care to accompany me and the delegation?” I started.

“You want me to come with you to the Crystal Empire, your highness?” I asked incredulously. Celestia nodded, smiling kindly.

“It will only be for a day or so, Roger. Plus it would give you a chance to see another region of the world. The Crystal City is a spectacular sight to behold. Shining Armour will be joining us as well.” I considered her offer. “Besides, while Luna takes over for me, she will have little need of an advisor, she remembers making half these laws herself.” Why not?

I got back to the house at around seven that night. Court officially ended at five, with a few hours until Night Court opened up at eight. The train ride was actually about the same length as I used to have to drive to work back on Earth actually.

Walking in through the front door, the smell of pork chops quickly hit my sniffer. It was nice that we were still able to get meat here in Ponyville. Okay, eggs were good for breakfast and fish and chips on Friday were a welcome continuity, but we both really needed meat. Though personally, having walked in on Bones discussing a George Orwell book with some of the cows on Sweet Apple Acres had resulted in me giving up beef. Lizzie of course didn’t mind, though dear Flutters had offered to cook meat for her, she’d flat out refused, instead sticking with fish which pegasi can eat and a generally more vegan diet.

“I’m back!” I called as I closed the front door behind me. It had gotten quite warm in here; the oven must be on already.

“Okay, dear. Dinner should be ready in a minute or so. How was your day?” my wife replied from the kitchen. Even after ending up in what may well be another dimension for all I know, the two of us still kept our little routines.

“Had a criminal case for a change. Some jackass tried to send an honest Griffon down the river for shoplifting. Got it into his head that the horseapples he called his opinion counted for evidence.” My wife laughed from the kitchen.

“So what did the Princess of the Sun make of that one then?” she asked. I smiled remembering the incident.

“She gave him a verbal and sent him on his way with a couple guards for company. Case was kicked inside five minutes.” I was now in our dining room, which had a decent table with four chairs. The house had been intended to house a family, so we had a couple rooms to spare and plenty of space. It did feel strange without the kids though, but we were getting used to that. My wife brought dinner through and we promptly sat down to eat.

We continued to chat for a while as we ate; just random little things really. What was happening at work, what shopping needed doing, money, whether or not Bones was ever going to come out of his shell and admit that he liked Applejack, all sorts. Finally though, I pitched the idea of going with Celestia’s delegation to the wife.

“It’s just for the one day,” I said hopefully. “No different than any of those Law Society shindigs I used to go to.” My wife pondered the idea whilst she cut into her last pork chop

“I thought you were just supposed to advise her on all the nitty gritty bits of the law, not go gallivanting off to some far off empire,” she said.

“I’ll be there as her legal advisor. She’s taking a few council members with her too. There’s supposed to be some kind of celebration there; something to do with the empire’s liberation. It’s literally a day; we go there tomorrow, attend the ceremony and get back to Canterlot for tea time.” I kept my eyes hopeful, doing my best to give her ‘the look’. Even after twenty five years she can’t resist it.

“Fine,” she said. “But bring me back a souvenir or something, okay?” I smiled and nodded. After dinner, I popped over to see Twilight and had Spike send a letter to the princess for me. A reply quickly came back, a chariot would pick me up at half past eight tomorrow.

We’d been on the go for a couple of hours now. Celestia was travelling in her custom chariot, whilst I and the rest of Equestria’s envoy were travelling in more traditional models. I figured we had to be about two thousand feet up; not high enough to risk hypoxia but high enough that it was bloody freezing. The wind-chill factor didn’t help either, nor did the fact that we were heading ever further north.

Still, at least it wasn’t me who was suffering, I noticed even Shining was starting to shiver a little from the cold. Celestia of course, was entirely unaffected; being an alicorn who also happens to control the main source of warmth for an entire world had its perks I suppose.

There were five of us accompanying the princess, me, Shining, who also wanted to see his wife again and would act as Celestia’s bodyguard, two members of the Equestrian beauracracy and a representative of the cultural committee who would be staying for an extended period.

As we continued north, the weather became worse and worse, to the point where Shining had to cast a shield spell to keep the snow out. Quite suddenly though, the climate changed; the temperature increased and the snow and clouds vanished. Beneath us was a huge grassy plain and in the distance, you could just make out the great city of the empire. It was quite different from Canterlot, its palace was quite reminiscent of the Eiffel Tower in Paris and it had a general look of being well planned, having an almost uniform road layout. Maybe it was a planned city; could this be Equestria’s answer to Milton Keynes? We quickly began to descend; we’d land at the palace to meet up with the princess, one Mi Amore Cadenza, along with her representatives and however many crystal ponies turned up.

The entire convoy of chariots made a dummy pass over the castle to ensure no one was plotting anything before circling round and landing smoothly on the ground just outside the entrance to the palace. I chuckled to myself as I realised that this was a literal crystal palace.

When we touched down, Shining was the first out; as Celestia’s guard and second-in-command of this empire it was his right and duty. Celestia followed suit, with the rest of us trailing behind her.

Waiting for us were our opposite numbers from the imperial government, and standing at their head was what I assumed to be the princess. Though as this is an empire, shouldn’t that be empress? She was smaller than Celestia or me, more about Luna’s height. In fact, proportionally speaking, they were remarkably similar, as if she was just the night princess painted pink. She wasn’t as pink as Pinkie Pie, but it was close. Her mane didn’t flow like the other princesses either, hanging limp, though it was styled quite heavily, with tones of blue and yellow in the tips. She quickly trotted over to greet her adoptive aunt.

“Auntie!” she exclaimed, with far more emotion than you’d expect from a government official. “It’s so wonderful to see you again.” Celestia briefly hugged the smaller alicorn in return.

“And it is a pleasure to see you again too, Cadance,” she answered. This little greeting was quickly pushed aside though when Shining broke through to his wife.

I like to think that the wife and I have an almost perfect marriage. We rarely fight or argue and even crossing to another world has not been able to separate us. But Cadance and Shining blew it clean out of the water. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people so deeply in love and so clearly meant for each other. It certainly explains what happened at their somewhat eventful wedding. They eventually parted and Celestia began to introduce us all, she saved me for last.

“And this is Mr. Owen, my new legal advisor. You remember I told you about the unusual rift that formed in the Everfree Forest; he along with his wife and two children were the result.” I promptly bowed to the Princess of Love, who kindly returned my gesture.

With that we all headed inside the crystal palace where the discussions were to take place. As we walked past some of the assembled crystal ponies, I contentedly whistled ‘Do you hear the People Sing?’ a tune that had been stuck in my head for months. It turned out they were listening.

Several hours later, the talks were coming to their logical conclusion. The job Celestia had, as did we, was really to aid our opposite numbers in the empire with getting up to date. Remove an entire nation from the face of the world and then reintroduce it a thousand years later, and you were bound to have problems. Celestia had it fairly easy, since Cadance and Shining were from this time and knew a fair bit about running a state. The problem was bringing everything up to date quickly.

In my case, there were a whole slew of laws and statutes that were completely incompatible with Equestrian law. For example, within the borders of the empire, it was illegal to celebrate Hearth’s Warming, a leftover from Equestria’s version of the Puritans. This had to be immediately repealed to comply with various Equine Rights laws.

Then there were issues with technology and magic, both of which had advanced a great deal in the last millennium. Schools in the empire still taught that the world was flat and that it revolved around the sun (the world on which Equestria sits is actually at the centre of the rotation, with moon and sun revolving around the planet).

Even worse, financially the empire was struggling. Many crystal ponies had left to see the ‘new world’ for themselves limiting the workforce and reducing the population even more. This meant many businesses operated at less than capacity and due to limited technology were struggling to compete with other groups. I couldn’t help but be fascinated at the sheer scale of what had to be done, to effectively rebuild a nation.

We had now taken a halt for lunch and I was standing out on one of the balconies. I regretted the fact that Spike was not here. In addition to the fact that the crystal ponies seem to revere him as something of a god, which confused me no end, he would have also undoubtedly loved the chance to sample some of the high value gems the empire had to offer. As I was debating bringing him back a few gems as a treat, I was approached by Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.

“You seem to be lost in thought, Mr. Owen,” she said. I promptly snapped out of my reprieve and turned to face her.

“Not at all, your highness,” I replied. “I was merely taking the sights; you have quite a view from up here.” I gestured to the spectacular vista. With effort, you could see the borders of the city. The princess chuckled and trotted to my side. Like Princess Luna she was a couple inches shorter than me, although the medium sized dagger on her forehead kept me reminded of her authority.

“Please, I hate using formality at these events; feel free to just call me Cadance.” I returned her smile at that.

“In that case, you might as well call me Roger as Celestia does.”

We quickly got into conversation with each other. She was quite informal for a princess, particularly when you consider her husband, who is the most duty obsessed person I’ve ever met. As her talent was focussed on love, she quickly caught on to the fact that I was married. Even she was surprised at how well my wife and I had endured the events of last year. I merely replied that that was the ‘power of love’.

As we continued to chat, my thoughts turned to my son. On Christmas night, the lad had had his first kiss, and from what I saw, he seemed to like it. But I knew the silly idiot was still dithering, no doubt spewing that nonsense about not being interested in love. Any fool could see he liked Applejack; he just didn’t have the cojones to admit it. And here I was chatting to the ultimate agony aunt.

Rarity and I had tried, on several occasions to bring to light the fact that Applejack liked him more than a friend. But every single time he’d dismissed it, or feigned ignorance or just ignored the issue entirely. Since Christmas though, he’s had to face facts, and still he won’t budge.

I talked with Cadance for a good long while about Bones’ self-imposed predicament. I was surprised to learn that Equestria had its own version of Valentine’s Day, which was called ‘Hearts and Hooves Day’. From what I could gather, aside from not having a counterpart to Cupid, it was the same holiday. I may not be the most romantic sort, but it was just torture to watch this nonsense go on any longer. So, I enlisted the assistance of Cadance to get them together. With Rarity’s help, this would be sure to work. I mean, how hard can it be?

We were still chatting when a guard came through. Like every other pony in this empire, his coat sparkled and shone. I swear that if I lived here long term, my eyes would pack up before long.

“Your highness, it is time for the ceremony,” he said, in a typical gruff and gravelly voice that most guards seemed to possess. Honestly, I sometimes wonder if Celestia and Luna just feed them gravel every day instead of food. Cadance thanked the guard and dismissed him.

“Well, it seems duty calls, Roger.” We quickly met up with Celestia and the other delegates and proceeded out onto the main balcony of the crystal palace.

And what a sight it was let me tell you. It looked as if the entire population had turned out for this remembrance event. To be fair though, the events in question had befallen these very ponies. The ceremony would be something of a double-edged sword; a celebration of the empire’s ultimate liberation and return, as well as a source of mourning all of those that perished one thousand years ago. Together Cadance and Shining Armour stepped out to address the crowd.

“Citizens of the Crystal Empire!” she began as the crowd quietened. “It was on this great day a mere year ago, that King Sombra was cast out at last, and this wondrous empire returned to its rightful place. Today we celebrate, and today we remember, the day the empire liberated itself!” Again a great cheer went up from the crowd. Cadance changed her tone to emphasise her sorrow “But today, we also remember those who did not live to see this day. The victims of the monster that wrongly took this nation from us. I ask you to join me, in a moment of silence.”

With that, a hush descended over the empire. Nothing to be heard but the calm breeze and magical energy given off by the Crystal Heart; the nation’s ultimate defence. It was a beautiful thing to look at, roughly the size of my head (I happen to have a big head, okay?). It steadily revolved between two huge crystal spikes, as if held by magnets. It made me smile; a nation that defended and protected itself not with weapons, but with love, something true and pure, similar in a vein to those Elements of Harmony. I almost wished I had been there when King Sombra met his match. Cadance now prepared to speak again, but much to the amazement of everypony concerned, she found herself interrupted, and by song no less.

Now, I’ll be honest; the fact that this show had singing in it had put me off and left me worried for a while. Particularly when those songs get in your head so easily. Still, one of the many things my son had told me was to expect these every now and again, and to just go with them. Hence why as the few ponies in the back began to quietly sing, I couldn’t help but join in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47E2tfK5QAg

As the first verse began, the singing claimed Shining too; Cadance simply remained surprised and perhaps a little confused. Out amongst the crowd, Crystal Empire flags began to appear and wave with the song. When the second chorus rolled around, the entirety of the crowd was at it. Even the usually stoic Crystal Guard pitched in for the second verse. Finally, everypony joined in for the final chorus. Like the version I’d heard, it was a mixture of pride and anger. Pride in themselves and each other, and rage and their former ruler, who dared not ignore them now. I hope Sombra, wherever he now was heard them, because while this nation may be struggling a bit now, they were not going to go down twice, they would not be slaves again, not with that heart of theirs.

The song finished in a great climax of voices which gave way to cheering, amongst which I paradoxically picked out ‘Vive la Prance’. Cadance remained absolutely dumbfounded. Celestia on the other hand, had her typical smug smirk on her face, as she often did in situations like this.

With the celebrations giving way to a full blown fiesta, the Equestrian delegation prepared to leave. Shining, with Celestia’s permission, was going to remain in the empire for a few days, since due to the conflicting nature of their jobs, he and Cadance hadn’t had much time to be with each other. The rest of us though climbed back aboard the chariots and headed back through the cold to Equestria. Celestia kindly diverted the delegation convoy again for me, dropping me of in Ponyville rather than Canterlot with the rest of them. I couldn’t help but laugh at the picture of my wife standing on our doorstep as the chariot maintained a hover over our front lawn. I suppose it was the closest to having a Chinook touch down that I’ll ever have, it left her speechless at any rate.

Chapter 54 - Winter Wrap Up

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I awoke with a start; I’d been sleeping fitfully as it was. The importance of today’s date had kept me in a permanent state of excitement. I think altogether, I’d only gotten about five hours of sleep, and even less of that was true REM sleep.

It was still dark outside, but in the east the faint glow of the dawn could be seen. The day was about to begin. A day that any self-respecting brony ought to be able recognize, and more importantly, sing about. Today was Winter Wrap Up day. And the song was already in my head.

I tried in vain for about twenty minutes to get sleep to return and give me another hour of rest. Eventually though, I just gave in and got out of bed. Opening the curtains in my room completely, I could make out the snow still sitting outside. What had once been a pristine whiteness was now more of a slush, having been steadily trod into the ground over time. The sky was dull and overcast and had been for over a fortnight now, since Strong Shield got himself found out. I hadn’t had a chance to speak to him since that day in Canterlot. Twilight had suggested writing to him, but I needed to talk to him face to face.

Winter was almost over, soon the snow would be gone, the animals would emerge from hibernation or return from their temporary homes and everything would bloom again with life. This, aside from the Summer Sun Celebration, had to be one of the most important traditions in the Equestrian calendar. Annoyingly, my mind offered up the old cry of ‘Tradition!’ at that.

I headed downstairs and made myself a pot of coffee, forgoing the usual apple juice and taking the caffeine full force. If I was to be deprived of sleep I was going to stay awake. Much to my surprise, I heard hoofsteps on the stairs; it was still only half five too. Oddly, it Apple Bloom who trotted into the kitchen. Like me she appeared excited to the point of Pinkie Pie levels.

“Ain’t it a bit early for you to be up, little lady?” I asked as the filly yawned. She was obviously still on autopilot. “Are ya excited?” She nodded at that.

“Big Macintosh says Ah can help plantin’ the seeds this year. Ah don’t know what Caramel’s gonna do though.” She pawed at the ground. Ah yes, Caramel, to Big Mac’s mind, losing the seeds twenty-seven times was one time too many. This year, the stallion would be in charge of simply watching AB rather than actually doing anything.

Big Mac himself would be putting his herculean strength behind the snow plough to clear the fields, whilst I would be one of the ones actually turning the soil. Applejack of course had for a number of years been the head of the Plant team which we’d all be serving on and would be doing her best to keep an eye on the bigger picture. Though of course she still reported to the organisational demigod that was the All-team Organiser; Twilight Sparkle.

Honestly, it would be good to just get back to work again. While a break was a welcome change of pace, three months of snow and cold had gotten tedious really quickly. I’d always like spring back home; it meant lambs, calves, house martins, and occasionally a nice sunny day.

Apple Bloom and I chatted quietly to ourselves until the rest of the family woke up. She’d gotten disheartened with astronomy lately. The bad weather had made stargazing of any kind difficult and over a month with no sign of a cutie mark had been enough for the Crusaders. They were now again looking for a new idea; though of course as the Equestria Games drew nearer, more of their time was taken up practicing for the opening ceremony.

Everypony else was up and about by six o’clock. Everypony was supposed to muster at Town Hall by seven for their assignments to be finalised and to receive their armbands which marked out their team. Mayor Mare would give her little inspirational speech and then we’d be off. One day to literally wrap up winter. My inner brony began to sing again, much to my annoyance.

Granny Smith set us up with a larger than usual breakfast of grits, toast, eggs, cereals, anything that would keep us working all the live long day. We had a bit of time to chat as we ate.

“Ah wonder what Twi’s gonna assign Lizzie and my folks to,” I wondered out loud. Winter Wrap Up was certainly one of the more unusual events in Ponyville, aside from events necessitating the use of the Elements. They’d all come to accept the idea of pegasi controlling the weather, but watching everypony literally change the season would still probably throw them.

With plenty of hot food in our bellies, we all set out for Ponyville. The exception of course, was Granny Smith, who would be on hand all day with food and drink for everypony working on or near the farm.

Outside town hall, everypony in Ponyville had gathered together to collect their assignments. At this point it was fairly routine; almost everypony had done the same job for a few years now under Twilight’s direction. Applejack had been able to get me a job on the farm easily enough, but I was interested to see what jobs the rest of my family got.

After picking up my green armband, which Rarity said clashed horribly with my grey coat. I headed over to Applejack and all the other Plant team members. Sweet Celestia, it was like sports day all over again; there’s a flashback I don’t need. Much to my surprise, I found that we also had Dad assigned to us, since he had a bit of experience with farm work from our old smallholding.

“Mornin’ Dad,” I said as he walked over to us, still trying to get the pony sized armband to go over his duffle coat.

“Hey Bones, good morning Applejack,” he replied. “So what’s on the agenda then?”

“Listen up and you’ll see,” she replied, gesturing to Twilight, who had just gotten onto the stage in front of the town hall.

“Alright everypony,” she called. “You all have your assignments tasked and timetabled. We now have...” She paused to confer with Time Turner. “We now have seventeen hours to completely wrap up winter. Get to it everypony!” With a quick cheer we all began to head off on our way. In my case, back to the farm to begin clearing the fields of snow and then making the seedbed for the next crop. I saw Lizzie going with Fluttershy on the Animal team, while Mum was with Pinkie, ice skates in hand and on the Weather team, Dad meanwhile followed the rest of us assigned to the plant team back to Sweet Apple Acres. With such a scene, my inner brony inevitably started up again; I was getting close to killing the twit.

We’d been working for a few hours now, clearing the fields and orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. In the past, there would at this point still be a great deal of work to do before we were finished. However, Twilight put forward the suggestion that instead of everypony on the team using snowploughs and then switching to cultivators and then tilling the seed bed, we should do everything at once. So, we all worked in teams of three, each doing a section of ground. At the head was the snowplough, which cleared the snow and slush off of the ground; this was Big Mac’s job, since the snowplough was such a heavy thing (I could barely move it without magic). This was followed by the cultivator, my job, which tilled the soil and created the seedbed. Finally, a pony followed behind with the new seeds and distributed them evenly.

Thus everything was done at a noticeably faster pace. It meant doing each individual job with fewer ponies, but it avoided the need to swap everypony out, which took time. According to Applejack, we were saving about three hours compared to the old system.

We were all noticeably sweating; even the toughest of us like Big Mac found the going hard. Still, it kept us warm in the cold weather and we had an ample supply of liquids and a couple rest periods. And, since we were all working in small groups, we were able to get conversations going as we worked. Much to my surprise, as we’d set off I found the pony behind me to be Time Turner. We’d been chatting for a fair while now.

“So you think it was a rift like the Cardiff one?” I asked as we turned round for another go. He nodded.

“The way Twilight described it to me, and from what I saw, I’d say so. You didn’t happen to see where it came out did you?”

“Stonehenge,” I replied. The old Timelord paused mid step, blinking for a moment.

“Seriously?” he asked in his ‘Trottingham’ accent. “That’s a bit clichéd isn’t it? I mean an inter-dimensional rift across time and space just happens to open over a historical monument that’s supposed to be able to open portals to other worlds? What’s wrong with a back alley behind a chippy or something?”

“Hey, come on,” I chided. “That’s even worse, and it wasn’t there when Ah left. We were all at home before we woke up here.” He conceded that.

“Well, doesn’t really matter I suppose. Whatever you lot did destabilised it and blasted it halfway to Raxacoricofallapatorius. Still, another twenty years and we can try again I suppose.” He laughed at his own joke. It would be interesting when we finally ‘caught up’ with the TARDIS. “You should drop by my shop if you get a chance. Twilight’s always turning up looking for pointers.” Well, far be it from me to turn down a chance to talk with The Doctor.

By mid-afternoon we had all finished with our section of the fields. While there were still some areas to clear, they were under the jurisdiction of other groups in the Plant team; we would only be called up again if somepony fell behind and needed a few extra hooves. Since that seemed fairly unlikely, I decided to head out and look for the rest of my family and see how they were fairing.

Dad of course, was in another section of the farm. Like me, he’d pretty much completed his jobs for the day and was on standby. Unfortunately for him though, the lead in his section had been Bulk Biceps. I think the continuous repetition of the word ‘yeah’ was starting to get to him. He jumped at the chance to go somewhere, anywhere but where that steroid filled equine was.

Returning to Town Hall, I asked Twilight where the remaining two members of my family had been sent. Twilight quickly began to speed read through all her timetables and plans.

“It looks like Lizzie’s waking up some of the animals at Whitetail Wood, and you mom is still with Pinkie Pie. They should be still breaking up the ice on the lake in Ponyville Park.” Since Mom was closer, we decided to head there first. If nothing else, it would be funny as anything to see her trying to ice skate.

Pinkie, as you may or may not know, is extremely adept at ice skating. Hay, if she wasn’t busy at Sugarcube Corner, as well as being Equestria’s greatest party planner and have the whole Element of Laughter thing going on, she’d probably be a pretty decent figure skater. My mother on the other hand, is not so gifted. As much as I hate to say this of the woman who raised me, she has all the grace of an angry Minotaur. And dear Celestia did it show.

When Dad and I reached the large lake that dominated the centre of the park, we found Pinkie Pie contentedly skating around, neatly cutting up the ice, whilst my mother was rocketing about with no apparent control or direction. Okay, I’m no better, but it was still funny as hay.

“Ahhh! Pinkie! Help me!” she cried as she continued to criss cross her own meandering path. Pinkie continued her own skating routine.

“Don’t worry, Margaret! You’re doing fine! Just ease out of that uncontrollable wobble you’ve got going on,” she replied. Ah yes, as many have said before me ‘Pinkie Pie, you are so random’.

Eventually the inevitable happened and my mother fell down on her rear, sliding unceremoniously to a stop at the edge of the lake. My father walked over to her and bent down to help her up.

“Having fun, dear?” he asked, a smile on his face. Mom shot him a look but eventually was overcome by giggles herself. With effort, she was able to get back on her feet. While her path may have been haphazard at best, she’d still managed to cut through a fair portion of the ice. As the Weather team cleared away the clouds, the sun would do the rest.

A similar scheme was going on at the farm; the beavers would take down their temporary dams, which would weaken the water’s surface enough to start the flow again. I just hoped we didn’t have a repeat of last year, when the debris from the demolished dams all combined together and blocked the river. Worse, the beavers decided to use the massive construct as their home. That led to a bit of a falling out between beaver and pony. Still, that was before my time as I like to put it.

We watched Mum and Pinkie, who helped Mum a few times for a few minutes more, before the pair left the ice. Almost as soon as they stepped off, the cracks began to connect together. The whole surface shattered like broken glass, separating into small pieces that would quickly melt in the sunlight.

“Woo! Wasn’t that fun? Fun, fun, fun.” Pinkie asked as she bounced around. “And don’t worry, my first time was just as wobbly and bobbly and crasherific as yours.” The unsettling echo of the word ‘fun’ kicked off a ‘Too Many Pinkie Pies’ flashback. I honestly wonder if she has liquid sugar in her veins instead of blood. Still, she was being sincere, and Mum did seem to enjoy herself towards the end, in spite of her constant falling.

All that remained was to check up on Lizzie and Fluttershy up in Whitetail Wood. I thought back to the race I’d run through these trees, I chuckled to myself at the mental image of Dad desperately trying to cheer Dash on to win his bet.

Fluttershy’s job was something that came naturally to her; waking up animals from their hibernation. Now, I remember frequently being told as a lad not to bother hibernating creatures, usually for my own good if nothing else. Fluttershy though, with her innate ability was able to keep them relaxed and happy as they stumbled out of their winter homes.

For smaller beasts, she and Twilight had devised a system of connected bells, allowing whole warrens and dens to be woken at the same time. But Whitetail Wood contained a few somewhat larger specimens that needed a little more than just the tinkling of a bell.

As we threaded our way between the trees the calm and peace of the newly created spring was shattered by the bellow of a wild animal. And boy did he sound cranky. It was a loud deafening roar that made the very earth beneath my hooves to shake. For a horrible moment, I feared a return of the Ursa Minor, or worse yet its mother. But, I quickly reminded myself that the only one known to exist was in the Everfree, with all the other dangerous animals.

“What the hell was that?!” my mother demanded, fearing for her daughter’s safety. We quickly set of at a run to find the source of the noise.

I was expecting a multitude of things to greet us when we reached the area the roar came from. A mountain lion, manticores, maybe even a fearsome hydra. What I did not expect was the scene that greeted us.

Standing just outside a small cave were Fluttershy and my sister, and not two feet from them a large, and I mean very large grizzly bear. It reared up on its back legs, towering over the both of them. Its huge claws glinted in the returning sunlight; it looked mad, it was going to strike them.

Without thinking, I teleported myself to a spot just in front of the two animal caretakers. I charged my horn up with a stun spell and fired a warning shot just over the bear’s shoulder.

“Back! Leave them alone!” I bellowed, charging my horn to stun it. Much to my surprise though, I felt a hand quickly grasp my tail and pull me back out of the way.

“Don’t hurt him; he’s just cranky,” my sister said as she released me from her grip. I turned back to the bear to find Fluttershy hovering around it, reminding it that it needed to stretch its back legs before standing on them. The roar I had heard had been one of pain, not aggression; the poor thing just had stiff muscles from sleeping for so long.

I looked back and forth between the two groups, blushing furiously at my rash actions. Both my parents were giggling to themselves; Mom probably saw this as karma for me laughing at her on the ice. Dad probably just found it funny. On the other side Lizzie looked vaguely annoyed with me, while Fluttershy was busy fussing over the bear. It meanwhile, regarded me with a curios look. I splayed my ears and pulled my hat forward in an effort to hide my embarrassment.

“Err, sorry everypony,” I said sheepishly.

Fortunately for me, my embarrassment was short lived. The bear, along with its small family, was the last group of creatures that needed waking. Even better, according to Twilight’s timetable, which was written down to the nanosecond, it was one of the last jobs to be completed. So, as the bears contentedly lumbered off back to their homes, we prepared to return to ours for the closing ceremony.

We walked back through the park to reach town hall and the fruits of our labour were clear to see. All the snow was now gone, in its place fresh, green grass. The skies were clearer, some clouds would remain just in case they were needed, but these were few and far between. Birds chirped and tweeted, flittering from tree to tree, all following a grey pegasus that was erratically zooming around the local airspace.

Wait a minute.

Said grey pegasus was being pursued by a cyan counterpart with a rainbow mane and tail. It made for an odd tail chase; a flock of small birds (possibly swallows or house martins) bracketed by two pegasi. I could make out Dash yelling.

“No Derpy, those ones belong in the north, you need to take them back!” she complained, her famously limited patience wearing thin.

“Okay Rainbow Dash!” the muffin obsessed mail mare replied. She turned about ninety degrees to starboard. A direction which, incidentally, took her on a southern bearing. Dash continued after her.

“You’re heading south, Derpy! Turn around!” She tried to cut across her and force her to turn to avoid a collision, but Derpy simply dodged her and kept going. A moment later she turned again. She was now heading west. Dash paused to hover in the air as well as facehoof.

“Ahhh! This way! North! Do you see?! North! Not south, not east, not west! North! Go north, Derpy!” The rest of us now began to chip in to help in the unfolding spectacle. None of us wanted to see RD go down for murder in any case.

“Derpy, turn to your left!” I called up, hoping simpler directions would help. She promptly waved at me and turned right. I couldn’t imagine how confused the birds she was supposed to be directing were right about now. My mother then tried.

“Other way!” A simple direction which was amazingly obeyed. Derpy was now heading east rather than west.

“Now go left,” Lizzie called, I was about to try reverse psychology to prevent her right turn when Dad made his contribution.

“Texas left, Derpy!” he called up. Amazingly she went left, the birds still managing to follow her. “Okay, just head that way, drop off the birds and come back here.”

“Okay!” She flew off into the distance. If that had been any other pegasus, except perhaps Fluttershy, I’d have been pretty mad. But it is a scientific fact that no being can be mad at Derpy for more than a few minutes. Except pc-ness obsessed helicopter parents.

A short while later, everypony’s favourite, and I must say most reliable mailmare returned from her trip to the Frozen North. Dash meanwhile had gone and fetched the southern birds which completed all tasks that had been set for Winter Wrap Up. We were done. Returning to Town Hall, Mayor Mare and Twilight, along with Time Turner, who was faffing with his oversized sand glass, prepared to give a speech.

“Fillies and Gentlecolts,” the Mayor began. “It is with great pride that I am able to announce that Winter has been officially wrapped up with…” She paused and turned to confer with the disguised Timelord. “One hour and seventeen minutes to spare!” Everypony cheered. It had taken a long time for Ponyville to shake the scandal of wrapping everything up late in earlier years.

With the clouds gone we could make out Canterlot, unlike Ponyville it had a unicorn majority population, rather than an earth pony one, and so they tended to do everything with magic rather than the old-fashioned way. In one large magical pulse the snow vanished from the city as did the clouds and everything instantly bloomed. Very quietly I heard my father mutter to himself.

“Lazy bastards.”

Interlude 8 - The Inspector Cometh

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With winter completely wrapped up, as ponies seem to be fond of saying, the school spring term had begun. Only a couple of days in, Cheerilee had received a letter from the top brass. The letter, which was postmarked as having come from Manehatten, stated that within one week a surprise inspection would be conducted at Ponyville School. The inspectors would assess my ability to teach a variety of subjects of their choice, as well as observing my interactions with the students. It sounded like a tough slog.

“You know,” I said. “If this was Earth, we’d have sent Snips and Snails home and told them to stay there until the inspection was done.” Unfortunately for us, that old trick was something Cheerilee was not willing to permit. I guess I’d just have to pray that the inspectors left them alone and didn’t ask them anything. They weren’t bad students, Celestia knows they try, but at times they could be just plain thick.

Still, the rest of the students were a good bunch. As trying as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon can be, they at least get decent grades. And then of course, we had our trump card, Dinky. That little filly has to be one of the smartest kids I’ve ever met. Honestly, I think she might turn into one of those child prodigies. She’s especially good at maths and sciences; I never thought I’d see a six year old complete a long division question in thirty seconds.

And regardless of that, I knew I could teach these kids. I’d been teaching for twenty years, at times in far rougher schools than this one. I knew all I needed to teach them, I could plan lessons, I could help struggling kids. But it all gets much harder when you’re put under the microscope.

Two days after we received the letter, the inspectors turned up. There were three of them altogether; one representative from each of the three pony tribes. An earth pony stallion, a pegasus stallion and a unicorn mare. Each of them wore a jacket and collar, with a small pin on the lapel, bearing the emblem of the Equestrian ministry of education. All three regarded me with a stern expression.

“I take it you are Mrs Owen?” the earth pony said. I promptly nodded.

“Yes,” I replied. The pegasus stepped forward.

“The three of us shall be monitoring you throughout the course of the day, both in lessons and while the class is in recess. You will begin with a mathematics lesson. Proceed when you are ready.” With that, they all moved silently, and with a hint of malice, to the back of the room and settled themselves down. Even as I turned round to write on the board, I could feel their gazes burning into me.

The lesson actually went rather well. We went through the multiplication tables concluding with a brief test to ensure everypony had understood what had been taught. All the while, I heard three quills scratching on parchment at the back.

Unlike previous lessons, Cheerilee would not be on hand today. She was in the classroom and would take over if an emergency arose, but other than that she just had to sit and watch. Even more annoying for her, she was not made privy to the inspectors’ judgement. Neither of us would know anything until the end of the day when they delivered their final verdict.

I did my best to keep myself calm, though I had to occasionally, and discreetly, wipe a few beads of sweat from my forehead. It was so annoying when this happened; I’d been teaching here for a couple of months now, and every day I’d done absolutely fine. Now though, with those three suits keeping an eye on me, I felt like I was back in training college again with my first class. Eventually though, the school bell rang out and I dismissed the children from their class. Cheerilee had warned me though that the inspectors would be just as vigilant at recess. So a few days prior I had made an arrangement.

"When do we ever cause trouble though?” Scootaloo complained irritably. “It’s those two spoilt chumps who ruin everything all the time.”

“Scoots,” I warned. She pouted irritably, leaving things to be settled by her two compadres.

“So you just want us to ignore anything Diamond Tiara does?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Just on the day of the inspection. You guys know I can keep those two in check, but if things get out of hand like they did last time, the inspectors could throw the book at me.”

The three fillies turned and moved into a huddle to discuss my request. If they swallowed their pride and ignored anything Diamond Tiara might do, I would be willing to occasionally show leniency to them. I wouldn’t be letting them get off scot free, hell I’d been pretty biased toward them already, but I would be more willing to forgive say late homework or forgotten books. Eventually they broke their huddle and turned back to me.

“You got yourself a deal,” Apple Bloom said. Spitting on her hoof, she sealed the deal in the time-honoured fashion.

“Thanks you three,” I said. With that they returned to whatever in God’s name they were planning. As long as it didn’t involve medieval weaponry this time, I’d be fine with it.

Standing outside, I did my best to keep a keen eye on the foals around me. Again, I’d done this loads of times over the years, and with kids that were far older than this lot, and in some cases taller than me. But as ever today, I was conscious if that uneasy feeling of being watched. What was that joke my son had made the other day? Ah yes:

‘Nervous? Don’t be ridiculous. You’re only facing a large crowd of ponies who will be watching your every move and silently judging you.’

If only I could still laugh at that. That was exactly what was happening today. Okay it wasn’t a large crowd, it was three ponies, but still my point stands.

As I looked on, I saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon meandering about. Believe it or not, they tended to follow something of a pattern in matters of bullying. They’d just tried to annoy little Dinky; which was of course impossible; the filly just countered them with logic, usually leaving Diamond thoroughly confused. They were probably going to make a move on the Crusaders now.

It wasn’t the fact that they’d get into arguments and fights that was the issue, it was the fact that often the only way to separate them was to physically manhandle them, which was technically not allowed. I didn’t pick them up or anything, I usually just pushed them apart, Cheerilee did the same thing, it was the only way to prevent hooves from flying. The two irritants marched up to the Crusaders. I moved in the general direction of the group to keep an eye on them, and to prove to those inspectors I was watching.

Luckily though, in spite of Diamond Tiara’s continued attempts to annoy, irritate and outright bully them, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were not to be moved. In a display of great maturity, they simply walked away from the two. Even when they followed, the Crusaders just ignored them, infuriating Diamond Tiara even more. Thus when I finally went over to confront Diamond, with inspectors in tow, I didn’t have to break up a near brawl first.

“Is something going on here?” I asked the group as I walked over.

“No, Mrs Owen,” the three Crusaders instantly replied.

“We were just talkin’ ‘bout what we all did in Winter Wrap Up,” Apple Bloom added. I turned to the other two fillies.

“And what about you two? What are you up to?” Seeing an opportunity for revenge for keeping her back an hour, Diamond Tiara struck.

“These three are being mean to us,” she said, gesturing to the girls and pulling her best sad face. “We’re trying to be friendly with them and they’re just ignoring us.” At this point she even brought out the fake tears. She’s a good actress I’ll give her that. Annoyingly, from the inspector’s point of view that is what it looked like. She’d been badgering the Crusaders and they’d been ignoring her. Of course, they didn’t know what Diamond was really like.

It was then though, that things took a turn for the worse.

“I know you from somewhere don’t I?” the earth pony stallion said. He paused to think. “Ah yes, I remember now, you’re Mr Rich’s little filly aren’t you?” Diamond nodded. That was just great; important ponies who ‘knew’ Filthy tended to also be in his pocket. I probably had one inspector who was already set against me. With my hands tied, I turned back to the Crusaders.

“Girls, why don’t you let Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon play with you today?” I hoped that they could read my rather desperate face and go along with it. Luckily the trio nodded, though their faces showed that they didn’t care for the idea, but they were willing to be the better ponies. With that crisis resolved, I returned to my previous spot and a short while later the kids all filed back inside again.

The next class I was to teach was science. In this lesson we’d be looking at biology. My heart skipped a beat or two when the examiners told me the topic was to be on equine anatomy, luckily, they meant biology in general. For one horrifying moment, I thought I was going to have to give over a dozen colts and fillies ‘the talk’.

Instead, I would be teaching about the vital organs of the body, basically how the various organs functioned and in cases naming important parts. I was thankful for this little break; human and equine anatomy was not overly different aside from the way they digested food. The heart and lungs and so on were the same.

I began by teaching them all to find a vein in their canon, akin to the one found on my wrist. This then went on to talk about the heart, quite quickly they all managed to find their own and each other’s heartbeat. Using the board, I then managed a basic diagram of the heart and lungs on a pony’s chest. The foals then attempted to find their heart; they are placed differently for everypony you know. As it turned out though, this caused something of an issue.

I’d known that Dinky would be able to help me through any troubles by being the star pupil she always was, and I also knew that Snips and Snails could quite easily sink me, and Cheerilee too if I wasn’t careful. So when Snails said that there was something odd with Dinky’s heart, I just prayed that it would be easy to explain to him.

“Alright, what’s the matter, Snails?” I asked, doing my best to help him.

“Dinky’s heart’s over here,” he said, pointing at her right side. “It should be here.” He put his hoof to her left. I smiled, hoping that I was being given a chance to both teach the kids something interesting and show off my knowledge to the inspectors.

“Let me have a look see,” I replied. Placing my hand on Dinky’s chest, which was pretty much covered by my hand, I felt for her heartbeat. On the right side, I did indeed feel her heartbeat. I stood up to impart a bit of knowledge to the rest.

“Everypony listen up for a moment,” I called. The chatter around me stopped. “Snails has just found out something very interesting. Dinky here has dextrocardia.” I moved to write it on the blackboard. “Her heart is on the opposite side of where it normally is in ponies.” Normally, any sign of difference is enough to bring the bullies around your ears, but in twenty years of teaching I had not found this particular issue to be problematic. Everything would have been settled then, if not for Snails speaking again. Though in retrospect, he may have made the find of the century.

“Oh, sorry, Mrs Owen, I found it now,” he cheered. His hoof was on the left side; her heart was on the right, I’d felt it there. I returned to the two. To her credit, Dinky had been quiet about the whole thing, though she did show a bit of surprise. Tell a child they have something that only presents in 0.01% of the population and it’s bound to go to their head.

“No, Snails, it’s over here,” I pointed to the opposite side. “See?” I felt the tell-tale heartbeat. Snails though shook his head.

“Nuh-uh,” he countered. “It’s here.” To settle this problem, I put my hand again to the empty area.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tJ7LGGpoZU

I felt a heart beating.

I moved my hand back to the other side.

I felt a heart beating, a different one.

“Impossible,” I muttered. Something was very wrong here.

“Is there a problem, Mrs Owen?” the unicorn examiner asked, having been watching my antics for several minutes. I quickly calmed myself.

“No, no problem,” I replied quickly. I’d talk to Twilight about this; I had a lesson to teach. “Everypony, let’s move on now,” I called.

The day steadily wound to a close. Aside from a couple incidents, and the fact that little Dinky seemed to have two hearts notwithstanding, it all went rather well. The inspectors naturally remained impassive throughout their examination, never so much as batting an eyelid. I’d taken the class through three lessons today; maths, sciences and we’d finished up with a bit of literature. I had to catch myself a few times from calling it English out of habit.

One lesson I was glad to avoid though was anything relating to cutie marks. Aside from the fact that such lessons tend to be a catalyst for incidents involving certain spoilt fillies and the Crusaders, it was a bloody difficult concept to teach. The marks could appear at any time in adolescence, and could be literally anything, whatever a pony’s special talent might be. And, they could vary hugely in the exactness of what they meant. For example, Applejack had a trio of apples for her cutie mark, symbolising her incredible ability to grow and harvest them, never mind sell them at a tidy profit. On the other hand, Rarity’s was a trio of gems, and while she was skilled with a gem finding spell, her special talent was her fashion sense and design ability. What does that have to do with gems?

Still, it was not as bad as magic, which was something even Cheerilee did not teach. Most of the foals here weren’t unicorns, and while from what I can work out, all three tribes have magic of sorts, only unicorns can use it fully. Magic tended to become usable to a unicorn foal around the age most of the students were. When they were new-borns they could be subject to powerful surges, only in later years could they control it. For that, they went to Twilight Sparkle. For the record, she has a confusing cutie mark; how the hell does a bunch of stars mean magic?

At long last the final bell of the day went and I allowed the students to leave, reminding them of the impending homework on Friday. It was then just me, Cheerilee and the three inspectors. The pegasus set his clipboard and quill down and addressed me.

“Alright, Mrs Owen. We’ve examined your teaching ability over the course of the day, we would just like to ask you a few questions before we pass our judgement.” I nodded.

“Sure, go ahead.”

“First of all, what qualifications do you have in teaching?” I did my best to recall the 1970’s.

“Err, three years at teacher training college, five years teaching full time at Mosley Primary School. Then four years as an assistant as St Michael’s Church School, and then four years at Trefeglwys Primary School. After I retired I stayed on there as a parent helper and then returned to teaching when the school was put into special measures by the local authority. Two years after that, I arrived here and have been assisting Ms Cheerilee here in Ponyville for four and a half months.” All of this was carefully noted down.

“What was the name of the teacher training college you attended so we can cross check with them?” I struggled to avoid chortling.

“Bromsgrove,” I said. Predictably, all three of the inspectors looked up from their work. The unicorn mare asked the obvious question.

“I’m not familiar with that establishment. I take it is not in Equestria?” Well duh, sweetheart.

“No, it’s in Britain,” I replied, enjoying the confusion on their faces a bit too much. When they continued to throw me questioning looks I elaborated. “I am not native to this world; Great Britain was my original home country, though I now hold Equestrian citizenship.” Needless to say, these extra-terrestrial qualifications proved troublesome. I had no certificates, nor could they contact the college. Luckily, Cheerilee vouched for me, going as far as to say I was more qualified than she was to teach.

The questions continued for another twenty minutes or so. The subjects ranged from my own history, to my knowledge of Equestrian schools and teaching practices, down to how I would handle hypothetical situations. Finally though, there came the tricky one. The earth pony stallion asked me one final question.

“Prior to conducting this inspection, we spoke to several of the students’ parents regarding your teaching. The results were somewhat mixed. While some parents claim, like Ms Cheerilee here, that you teach to an excellent standard, we have received some concerns regarding your ability to keep all the students in check.” It looked like this fellow was in Filthy’s camp after all.

“May I enquire to the nature of these concerns?” I asked, now was not the time to be calling this guy out.

“According to some, you tend to favour some of the more troublesome students over those who have far more promise in terms of their potential, going so far as to neglect other students to help them.” Now was the time to call him out.

“Every student in this class is just as capable as any other, given sufficient aid. Some do require more help than others, but I do not ever neglect a student or place their education at risk. If you examine the test scores since I began here, you’ll see that all students have maintained a good to excellent record. I see no sign of neglect.” The earth pony, now making his dislike of me clear, continued regardless.

“There is also the issue of your species. Some parents have expressed understandable concern at leaving their foals to be taught by a carnivorous creature that may or may not be dangerous. And that doesn’t even cover the fact that we have no way of checking your criminal history.” At this point, he descended into what I believe the locals call ‘pure horseapples’

Cheerilee’s expression was one of complete shock and disgust, particularly when you consider that, on rare occasions, earth ponies have been known to get the short end of the stick from the other tribes. I on the other hand was quietly considering what I was going to do to Filthy Rich after this; I would certainly be having a word with the governors. But it was the unicorn inspector who moved first.

“Pencil Neck!” she exclaimed crossly. “What in the name of Celestia are you yammering on about?!” she quickly rounded on him. “We just watched six hours of some of the best teaching I’ve seen in a long time. I’ve only got her down for two minor infractions and you’re saying she can’t be trusted. Did that jackass Filthy put you up to this?”

Pencil Neck noticeably shrank back from his angry counterpart, her outburst had scared the hell out of me too. She turned back to me and Cheerilee.

“I do apologise for my ‘associate’s’ behaviour. I’m guessing you had a run in with Filthy Rich at some point?” The two of us briefly explained how I’d neglected to give his daughter any kind of special treatment, undoubtedly drawing his ire.

“Well, in view of all that, I’d say we’ll have to discount Pencil Neck’s analysis. But, that is why there are three of us after all; to ensure everypony gets an even chance. I and my associate are happy to pass you to teach foals. You should receive your certification in a week or so.” She then handed Cheerilee a copy of her examination results.

“Well, I’m just glad that that’s all sorted and cleared,” Cheerilee said as the remaining two inspectors packed up their things. Pencil Neck stood in the corner, undoubtedly feeling like an idiot. “So I take it we’ll be seeing you in a couple of years?” The inspector nodded.

“Now that you’re both cleared to teach, it’ll just be an inspection every now and then to ensure you’re up to standard.” She paused to levitate her small bag. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ll be heading back to Manehatten.” With that they departed, leaving me a teacher once again.

Chapter 55 - That's Amore

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Number two hundred and eighty seven. That was tree number two hundred and eighty seven checked. It was healthy, free from any obvious signs of disease and did not need any further pruning other than what the winter wind had done. In other words, we could leave the tree, named Old Red by Applejack, to its own devices for the year, unless anything odd cropped up.

I’d been at this rather menial chore for a couple of days now, and we still weren’t halfway yet, even with the entire Apple family pitching in. But it was necessary; a single tree carrying disease could spread and ruin entire sections of the orchards. That meant entire sections that didn’t produce fruit and consequently, profit. It had happened once before when AJ was very young and had nearly forced them to sell the farm. As such, she was not willing to take any chances. Still, it was bloody boring.

A few days before though, we had all been treated to a little party courtesy of Pinkie. Mom had managed to get her teaching qualifications transferred to Equestria and was a fully licensed teacher again. Consequently we got a ‘Happy you’re a teacher again’ party. Like Dad, she was now able to start earning properly; their little gift from Celestia had been starting to get a mite low after all.

The party was attended by a good portion of the students, Cheerilee, all of my family and the girls and even one of the inspectors who had passed her had agreed to stay for a day or two. From what I heard, Mom nearly had some trouble from one of the inspectors. Like pretty much everypony else, she had run afoul of Diamond Tiara and her father had attempted to intervene; though I can’t fault him in a way, since Mom seems to have become something of an ally to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, frequently helping them stand up to Diamond and Silver.

Today though was a slightly more irritating day. For miles around, colts, fillies, stallions and mares were all trading cards, going out together and partaking in overtly public displays of affection. Today was Hearts and Hooves Day, and I was thankful I was safely confined to the farm. The whole holiday on Earth had sickened me, I wasn’t certain I would be able to take the Equestrian equivalent. God, if I bumped into Rarity, the ‘hinting’ would be endless.

I returned my thoughts to the present as I reached the next tree; number two hundred and eighty eight. Let’s see, leaves were nice and green, no stag horns on the top, no dead branches left and…hang on. The bark was stained with darkish ooze that seeped from the bark, which itself seemed disfigured. I quickly retracted my hoof and backed away from the tree. Having been warned about this phenomenon I galloped off to find Applejack and Big Mac. They were working a little further out that I was.

“Applejack! Mac!” I called desperately looking for either of them.

“Bones?” sounded AJ’s distant reply. “Where are you? What’s wrong?” I spotted her galloping towards me, concern etched onto her features. I was still out of breath a little, what I’d give for earth pony endurance and strength.

“Ah think….Ah think one of the west orchard trees is carryin’ disease,” I managed to wheeze out. AJ’s face instantly went white and dragging me, she headed back to the farmhouse.

Apple canker is a rather nasty disease that affects apple trees causing them to prematurely lose fruit and rot at a rapid pace. Worse still, the fungus that causes it is easily transferred by spores. The reason I’d had to holler at Applejack was so I didn’t stray too far from what I hoped and prayed was the only affected tree.

As soon as we reached the farmhouse, the pair of us used to garden hose and spout to wash ourselves of any contaminant we may have picked up. After that, AJ hurried down into the cider cellar and fetched some of her strongest apple whiskey and matches. As for me I went and fetched a two pony saw. There was only one way to stop the spread, assuming I had diagnosed correctly; fell the tree and scorch the surrounding area, burning the tree and offending spores to charcoal.

Returning to the site of the infected tree, Applejack began her own examination, careful to avoid touching the bark, or allowing herself to be positioned downwind of the tree. She examined the brown coloured ooze and gnarled bark with a practiced eye. Her head fell and she began to examine neighbouring trees.

“How bad is it?” I asked quietly. Applejack cared for these trees almost as much as her family and was always saddened if one was lost before its time. All of a sudden though she began to chuckle, this evolved into a laugh and she all but collapsed on the floor. In spite of everything, the first thing my mind offered up was; ‘she really does have a beautiful laugh’. I pushed that to one side.

“Erm, mind explainin’ the joke, ‘Jack?” I asked. Applejack eventually managed to control herself, though her speech was punctuated with chuckles.

“These are…heh heh…..these are just natural changes in the bark, Bones. And this sap is normal this time of year; there’s no fungus.” She paused as another fit of the giggles took hold. “And you…ha…and you ran clear across the farm thinkin’ it was apple canker.” With that she lost it again.

For my part, my face had flushed with embarrassment; I knew a fair bit about trees, including that not every knarled mark was indication of disease, I’d just forgotten, the warning from Applejack taking precedence in my mind. I attempted to scowl at her, but that laugh of hers is infectious as Pinkie’s and eventually, even I couldn’t help but smirk at my own rashness.

“Damn, Ah’m mighty sorry, Applejack,” I said, pausing to dry a few tears as we both finally brought our laughter to a halt.

“Oh, it’s okay, Sugarcube,” she replied, placing a hoof on my shoulder. “Better safe than sorry as Granny Smith always says. Come on, Ah’ll give you a hand finishin’ up these last few rows, and then we’ll call it a day. Twilight said to come on into town later anyway.”

“Sure thing, ‘Jack,” I replied. It then dawned on me that I would have to go into town. Dammit.

It was a few hours later, after lunch, a little lie down on the sofa and the walk into town, that AJ and I arrived at the library. Standing outside was Twilight herself, along with Spike, who was just finishing locking up the library. I wasn’t quite sure what the universe’s most adorkable princess wanted from us. According to Applejack, she asked her to come to the library as soon as possible after lunch when she’d spotted her running her little market stall. While tight lipped about what it was all about, she also requested my presence.

“Hey, Twilight. Spike,” I said as the two of us pulled up.

“Oh great,” Twilight announced happily. “You’re both here, and a little early too.” She lifted Spike onto her back and began to head away from the library and out of town. Confused, Applejack called after her.

“Hey, Twi, what exactly is goin’ on here anyhow?” She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow to emphasise her slight suspicion. Twilight performed a quick about face, almost throwing her reptilian passenger off.

“Oh right,” she said, mentally facehooving. “I wanted you two to come with me to meet somepony at the station today.” Both of us, Element of Honesty or not quickly picked up the stench of a lie. Or at the very least, the omission of truth.

“So why didn’t you just tell me that when you asked me?” Applejack asked, now more than suspicious. Under her gaze, Twilight’s eyes began to dart back and forth.

“Oh, erm, well you see,” she struggled for a vague answer. “The pony I was going to meet was hoping to see you two. Particularly you, Blade Star.”

“And?” I countered.

“Nothing. She just wanted to see and speak with you; that’s all.” I noticed her little slip. So a mare wanted to see me and AJ about something. But why was Twilight being so hush-hush? Not being able to come up with an answer, we both shrugged our shoulders and followed her. It couldn’t be too serious, Spike certainly seemed unfazed.

Arriving at Ponyville train station, we found that another of the Elements was in on this little charade. Standing a little ways from the entrance to the booking hall was Rarity. Spike quickly dropped his indifference and, jumping off Twilight’s back, headed over to her. Now I knew for certain something was up.

“Afternoon, Rarity,” I greeted neutrally. “Ah take it you’re to greet our visitor too?” Rarity merely nodded, like Twilight she all but sweated under Applejack’s gaze.

“She should be here any minute, Bones,” added another, clearly male voice. From around the corner stepped the figure of my father, a slight smile on his features.

“Dad?” I asked. I turned to Twilight. “Anypony else involved in greeting this ‘important visitor’, Twilight?” Before Twilight could answer, a whistle sounded in the distance, and the small signal bell on the platform rang for a moment before returning to silence.

Less than a minute later, we heard the sound of the engine steadily growing louder. One of the many benefits of my new form is my vastly improved hearing. Though not as sharp as Winona’s, I’ve certainly got better ears than any human. Eventually the train came into view. As it was not coming from the direction of Canterlot, I assumed this would be the usual Friendship Express service that came through here on its way to the capital, however, I was wrong.

For one thing, the Friendship Express does not produce a blinding glare as it moves, nor does it travel at a particularly high rate of speed. This was a very special train, it was made of crystals. I’d seen it before, not that long ago actually. Just as it was easy to guess who was aboard Luna’s chariot, it was easy to guess who was aboard this train. Princess Cadance was upon us.

Oh dear God.

So, just to summarize, the Princess of Love, as well as the Crystal Empire, was just dropping by to visit Ponyville. For the second time in less than six months. All just to say ‘hi’ to me. Yeah, right. I had a pretty good idea what this was all about given Rarity was involved. I quickly turned to her.

“Ah take it this is your doing, Rarity,” I said, attempting to avoid from getting too mad. “Ah thought we agreed that you’d let me look after my own life and keep your snout out of it.” Rarity withered pitifully, causing most of my anger to evaporate. I sighed, I was about to apologise when my father entered the conversation.

“Actually, Bones, I asked Cadance to come down here. I had a chance to talk with her while I was up there. Just listen to what she has to say. I’m not asking you to do anything, just listen.”

By now the train was pulling into the station. Even more ridiculous, while I was more than a little ticked off, Applejack was just flat out confused about the unfolding events. After all, I hadn’t said a word to her about what was happening, nor had I mentioned the long running internal conflict I’d been having over her. As far as she was concerned, my views toward her were akin to that of a close friend. And at that point, that it what I wanted her to think.

I braced myself for the meeting with Cadance. I didn’t have anything against her per se; I just don’t particularly care for her. I did my best to return my features to a slightly less hostile look and prepared to be at least vaguely welcoming. But it wasn’t Cadance who stepped out. It was somepony I really didn’t want to see.

Naturally, Cadance, as a princess, travelled with her own guards, both for security reasons as well as for the sake of protocol. The first guard to emerge was a member of the newly reconstituted Crystal Guard. Like his counterparts, he was large and imposing; glittering or not, I wouldn’t want to fight him, even with a decent weapon to hoof. I expected the second guard to be a carbon copy of the first (for whatever reason, the precise nature of the events of ‘Three’s a Crowd’ had slipped my usually sharp mind). It took all my sheer force of will not to go mental when he stepped out.

Unlike his brother in arms, this guard was no crystal pony, he was a pegasus. He was short, with an almost runt like quality to him. Looking closely, I’d say I have a good couple of inches on him. He wore the uniform of the Solar Guard, though it didn’t seem to quite fit him properly and didn’t stand out well against his orange coat. Even odder was his mane. Now my mane may be a little unkempt, but his, considering he was supposedly a guard, was nothing short of a mess; it poked out from beneath his helmet, which sat unsteadily on his head.

This, fillies and gentlecolt, was Flash Sentry. My inner brony quickly offered advice.

‘It’s a monster! Kill it! Kill it!’ it demanded angrily bringing forth the rage of over half the fandom. The rational part of my mind then stepped in.

‘It’s not a monster, it’s just Flash Sentry, leave him be,’ it offered.

‘Oh, it’s just Flash Sentry,’ the inner brony countered sarcastically, going silent for a moment in acceptance.

‘Kill it! KILL IT!’ Or not.

Luckily for the completely unaware Flash, who had failed to properly even scan the surrounding area of the station as his counterpart had, Princess Cadance then emerged. She was just as I remembered her; about Luna’s height with a fairly pink coat and a light pink mane. Every little girl’s definition of a pretty pink pony princess.

Equestria’s Cupid quickly singled me out. Her gaze could be likened to Celestia’s a warm, motherly look, but without the age and wisdom that lay behind Celestia’s. She came across as more of an older sister you would look up to. I quickly removed my Stetson and offered a bow, as did everypony else, aside from Twilight of course. After greeting her sister-in-law, she trotted over to my dad and greeted him like an old friend.

“Good to see you again, Roger,” she said, smiling. My father pulled the alicorn, who was not significantly shorter than him, into a brief hug.

“You too, Cadance, my dear. You too,” he replied. The second youngest alicorn in Equestria went round our little group greeting her friends before turning to me.

Her whole attitude was easy and disarming. Despite my slight dislike of her, I couldn’t really work up any hostility against her. But there still was that niggling feeling in the back of my head that told me to distrust anything love related. For the moment, I wouldn’t trust her as far as I could throw her.

Wait.

Let me rephrase that; I didn’t fully trust her.

“And I assume you are Roger’s son, Blade Star?” she asked.

“Yes, your highness,” I replied simply. Sensing my tone, the princess changed her approach.

“Is there perhaps somewhere private we could talk; we have much to discuss.” I did my best to repress a sigh.

“The orchards on Sweet Apple Acres should suffice, princess.” Gesturing for me to go on, I led her off.

About five minutes later, the princess and I were standing in one of the more secluded parts of the farm. Applejack, who was still entirely bewildered by what was going on, had gone with Rarity to her shop to talk with her, whilst my dad had gone back home. We would not be disturbed for some time.

We were surrounded by a fairly pleasant grove of apple trees, and just a little way ahead, breaking the apparent circle of trees, was the medium size lake that Dash and I had previously gone to fish in. I would sometime even come here on clearer nights to stargaze. Shoot, it was here AJ and I had had our first heart to heart talk at the end of Applebuck Season last year. I had a lot of memories in this little spot of land.

“Alright, Princess,” I said, as I settled myself down for a long chat. “Ah think this should suffice. Now what do you wish to talk to me ‘bout?”

“I want to talk about you and Applejack,” she replied. I’d not been here five minutes and this already sounded like a therapy session. I attempted to halt the inevitable.

“What is there to talk ‘bout? We’re good friends and Ah live with her and the Apple family. In exchange for a roof over my head Ah work on her farm.” Cadance rolled her eyes.

“I’m sure though that you’ve…noticed things changing between you over the past few months.” To her credit, Cadance didn’t ram the idea down my throat, though looking back I kind of wish she had.

“Ah suppose, my dad or Rarity told you about that one kiss then?” She nodded.

“Amongst other little incidents,” she replied. “And not all of them were instigated by Applejack. Almost as if you liked her back.” The pink alicorn allowed herself a small titter.

“Very subtle, your highness,” I replied dryly. “Though Ah still can’t quite see why any of this requires your…involvement.” At this Cadance took on a look of mild surprise.

“I am the Princess of Love, Blade Star. And while much of my time is spent in my own kingdom, that does not excuse me from my duties in Equestria and elsewhere in the world. I would be betraying my cutie mark if I did; I help ponies realise the love between them. It is my duty and privilege.”

“How touching,” I countered. “And say a pony rejected this offer of help, what would you do then? Would you leave them be?” The princess considered this for a moment.

“If you’re asking me if I would force two ponies to love each other, then no. Your study of magic should tell you that that is impossible. But personally, I’ve never encountered that situation, and was I to, I would have to investigate. A pony in such a state may be in more need of my help than they realise.” I bristled at that.

“Respectfully, your highness, Ah do not need your help.”

“Why?” she asked, still maintaining the collected air of a therapist.

“Because Ah am not in love,” I replied.

“Oh really?” she countered.

“Yes, really, your highness. Ah’m aromantic and asexual. That means Ah don’t fall in love like most ponies.” Cadance considered this for a moment.

“Then explain to me the feelings you have been having. Explain the conflict within yourself. Why is there that part of you that that told you kiss her back?” she asked.

“There isn’t any conflict to speak of. I kissed her back because it would be rude not to.”

‘I swear to Celestia, when I get out of this, I’m going to buck Dad upside the head. I had everything under control nicely and then he sends Princess Airhead down here to ram her lovey-dovey nonsense down my throat.’ I thought to myself.

“I think you are in denial, Blade Star,” said Cadance. “In fact, I think you love her, and for whatever reason you are preaching this ‘aromantic’ concept to avoid admitting it.” That was the straw that broke the pony’s back; I have no problem with the concept of love itself. I just don’t feel it that much. But if you try to force it on me, you’re gonna tick me off. I wheeled round and got right up in her face, my whole form just screaming ‘anger’.

“Enough!” I snapped angrily. Cadance remained unruffled even as I starred her down. “You listen to me you overbred pegasus! Ah am not some lovesick schoolcolt you can corral and trick; love magic or not! Ah do not love!”

“Why?” she asked again. That was the question. Why didn’t I love, romantically I mean? Why was it that when every other guy my age was chasing girls and getting his heart broken, did I just carry on regardless? Why did I despise today? My usual answer would be because that was the way I was. I didn’t choose to have a disinterest in love (although my hostility was a choice) it was just the way I was. No amount of preaching and love magic could change that. Cadance suggested something at length, an idea that I had not considered.

“It scares you, doesn’t it?” She didn’t ask, merely stated it as a fact.

I’ll give her credit, she has talent. Such an idea had never entered my mind. I’d always felt that I just disregarded love; I’d never felt fear of it.

Had I?

In that moment, for whatever reason, everything clicked. I could just about hear the faint sound of magic, a very familiar sound by this point. All those missed chances, here and on Earth, all those dismissals, all those speeches. Underneath everything was fear. It was all motivated by fear; of rejection, of loss, of being hurt or made to look a fool. And according to Cadance, it was a common problem. But I’d managed to blow the issue way out of proportion. I sighed deeply and sat on my haunches, lowering my head. The anger that had previously been dictating my actions left me. Off to the side, I felt Cadance settle down next to me.

“Blade Star, you’ve studied a fair portion of dark magic with Twilight, correct?” I nodded. “So you know that it is fuelled by negative emotion; anger, fear and so on. But do you know what the most powerful source of dark magic is?” I shook my head. “Love.”

Startled, I looked up in surprise. Cadance was smiling benignly and her horn was glowing a soft blue. Evidently, she found something about this whole conversation to be enjoyable. I on the other hand was now just plain bewildered.

“Think about it, Blade Star,” she went on. “Imagine losing all those you cared about in one fell swoop. Can you imagine the despair, the horror, the rage, that is a powerful source for dark magic to draw on. And I think that it is those feelings that you fear. If you take a chance and allow yourself to fall for somepony, you take a risk; you fear the consequences.” Silence reigned for a while; she was right. At the extreme, I feared deception, just as everypony had been deceived at the wedding. Perhaps that was why I hated Changelings; they break the purity of love, just as love itself can break you. At the lesser end, I just feared the unknown. Eventually, I was able to find my voice, the previous anger now gone.

“If Ah am afraid of love, how do Ah overcome it? How do Ah just, let go and take the plunge?” I asked. I felt a hoof under my chin lift my head, allowing me to look Cadance in the eye.

“How do you feel about her?” she asked. “Just between you and me, no consequences.” I smiled, at last allowing all those niggling little thoughts out.

“Well, of course Ah like her. Hay, Ah wouldn’t have asked if Ah could stay with her if Ah didn’t. She’s been a great friend to me; honest, kind, dependable and Ah’d say she’s just as loyal as Rainbow. Ah couldn’t ask for more.”

And with that, the penny finally dropped. I liked Applejack. I don’t know about the whole idea of romance, that was a whole other kettle of fish, but there was no reason why I couldn’t admit that I liked her. Looking back on it, I was being a little bit pretentious.

Finally, this epiphany subsided, and I found myself standing with Cadance again, whose horn had stopped glowing. Shaking my head in an effort to clear the cobwebs, I tuned to her.

“That’s some special talent you have there,” I said. The two of us smiled. “Now Ah guess all Ah have to do is tell her.” Cadance smiled at me, undoubtedly aware of the intense nature of the experience I’d just undergone.

“There’s no need to rush in and confess, Blade Star. She’s waited for a fair while already,” she said. “If I know Applejack, she won’t want that sort of thing anyway and you clearly aren’t the romantic sort. Just, open up to her a bit more, and don’t be afraid of liking her back. Remember; you may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough.”

With that, the pink alicorn flared her horn, and disappeared in a flash of light. Most likely, she went back to the train station, but who knows, maybe she took a shortcut back to her little empire. I was now alone in the orchards, with nothing but the setting sun and the buzzing of the evening insects for company. My thoughts quickly returned to AJ and what Cadance had said. It couldn’t hurt to try could it? Applejack wasn’t one for all that romantic nonsense I despised and we got along so well. And then of course, there had been that kiss.

There was no getting around it; I liked her, as far more than a friend. Now I would have to wait and see what happened. I began to trot back toward the farmhouse with my heart and mind considerably lightened. That was a good Hearts and Hooves Day.

Author's Notes:

Proofread by Sidetrack.

And so, at long last, the romance arc reaches its conclusion. I initially tried to write this as a romantic scene, but in spite of my efforts, it just didn't feel right. So I reviewed my characters. Neither Blade Star nor Applejack are overly romantic. If we look at the episode 'Simple Ways' we see AJ spurns such behaviour. Neither of them are romantic characters, so there was no way I was going to write them as such.

I'll be honest with you guys (and gals) I've never been in a romantic relationship, and I probably never will be. But from what I have observed, very rarely does it happen the way we are told it does in the world of fiction. There is no confession of undying love, there is no 'moment' when two people become lovers. It is something that you notice over time, you realise you've been hanging out with a great girl (or guy, no prejudice here) more than anyone else and that you behave differently around them, and you realise you are probably more than friends. Then everything starts.

Hence this most difficult of scenes. All that has happened is that Blade Star has realised how his behaviour has changed which will in turn affect his later actions. For all intents and purposes the two are now 'in a relationship' they just don't know it yet.

Now, onto what is probably the subject of a small war in the comments box. Flash Sentry. As you know, this fic accepts EG, it just never mentions it, just as the series does. And don't worry we will not be seeing him in any kind of serious role and he will be staying well away from Twilight and your other waifus. I don't particularly care for him, but I don't hate him. I just think Twilight can do a hell of a lot better than that orange feather duster (no offense intended to pegasi readers).

Be on the lookout for the new chapter next Friday. And feel free to drop hints about this scene; I'd really appreciate some feedback.

Chapter 56 - The Perils of Discussing Relationships with Elder Brothers

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With the departure of Cadance, I found myself alone again in the peaceful calm of the apple orchards. Nothing to be heard but the soft breeze and the evening insects. Before long it would be dark and Granny Smith would be setting dinner on the table. But, initially, I did not move. I was too lost in thought. While I hadn’t had some sort of weird Disney-esque moment on the subject of love, Cadance had changed my point of view drastically.

Until this point, I was certain that while Applejack may like me, I liked her only as a friend, as relationships beyond that point were something I did not experience. Now though, I had to reassess my position. Cadance’s statement about me fearing the idea of love had hit home and hit hard. She was right, that much was certain, but she was also right in saying that neither of us were overly invested in the idea of romance.

At the end of the discussion, I had been compelled to admit that I did like Applejack. But I couldn’t quite place what my feelings were. I liked her more than a friend, but at the same time, I wasn’t planning to get down on one knee and offer her a ring. Regardless, it seemed foalish at this point to keep burying my head in the sand any longer, and so I resolved to change my tactics.

Heading back to the farmhouse took me into the night. I’d forgotten just how far out that little spot was from the farmhouse. But having been living and working on this farm for over half a year, I could all but navigate it with my eyes closed. It was a simple matter of cutting through the western orchard, then following the fence line until you hit the fruit bat reservation, best not to go in there at night, Apple Bloom claims she once saw a giant vampire fruit bat almost as big as a pony. When you get there you take a left and keep going along the treeline until you hit the Crusaders clubhouse, then you just follow their well-trod path, along with the smell of Granny’s cooking, back to the farmhouse.

The whole thing took about half an hour in the end, and even with the days steadily lengthening again, it was still well into the night by the time I trundled in through the kitchen door. Now, normally, I would have made a bee line for the dinner. As it was Granny’s famous soup tonight, I’d be in a continuous scrap with Big Mac to wolf down as much as possible before he did. Instead, as soon as I got through the front door, I was set upon by a certain Stetson wearing mare.

“Bones!” she cried happily. “Ah was wonderin’ where you’d gone and got to.”

“Whoa, easy, ‘Jack, easy. You know where Ah was. Ah’ve been talkin’ with Princess Cadance all afternoon,” I replied, attempting to prize the strong mare off me.

“Shoot, Bones, you were out there for one heck of a long time,” she countered. “Can’t go blamin’ me for bein’ a mite worried.”

“Oh come on, as if Ah was gonna go and miss Granny’s soup night.” With that I realised that Big Mac had been left to his own devices for more than ten seconds. Looking over, we found the stallion head down in the bowl lapping down as much as he could and competing with Winona to boot. I quickly levitated the smaller of the two back onto the floor, while AJ and her little sister attempted to haul Big Mac back to the surface, only to find he’d all but cleaned out the entire pot. Now do you see what I mean when I said we usually had to scrap over it?

We all stared in understandable shock at the empty soup pot. It was supposed to hold enough for everypony to get at least two helpings each. Mac had gone through the lot in less than a minute.

“Well, guess Ah better make some more soup,” Granny commented dryly. The ferocity of Mac’s eating habits surprised even her. That brought us back to reality and got a laugh out of me and AJ. Apple Bloom on the other hand, pouted irritably at the current lack of dinner. Fortunately, the soup was not that difficult to make, nor overly time consuming. However, Granny Smith was the only pony who knows how to make it. Believe me, AJ’s tried and so has Pinkie Pie. Twilight even once took a sample with her to her basement lab to try and fathom the secret ingredient. The only written form of the recipe was to be found in the Apple matriarch’s will apparently, and I doubted we’d be opening that any time soon.

With little in the way of options, the rest of us left the kitchen and went to lie down in the living room. Mac in particular, who now undoubtedly felt as bloated as a balloon, welcomed the opportunity to lie down.

As for the rest of us, who’d not had a chance to get so much as a look in yet, I used my own limited teleportation ability to fetch a few apples from one of the many barrels in the barn. Munching on these tided us over for a while. As I sat eating away at the simple snack, my thoughts turned to some of the more important matters I had on my proverbial plate. Aside from testing the waters with AJ, I would at some point have to have a talk with Big Mac about the matter. I owed him that much at least.

As we waited, my thoughts turned to my dad. I couldn’t help but still be somewhat annoyed with him. Rarity I had expected to try and play matchmaker; it’s what she does, let’s be blunt. But my own old man had never taken an iota of interest in my romantic issues until now. He’d always encouraged me to go my own way and be independent, and yet he’d called forth the Princess of Love no less to try and convince me to confess my undying love to a mare I was friendly with. On the other hand though, if Cadance hadn’t talked to me, I’d never have reached where I am now, so in a way I suppose I should be grateful.

“Soup’s on, everypony!” Granny Smith called from the kitchen. I was startled out of my thoughts and quickly set them aside, all that mattered now was getting a decent dinner. Amazingly, even Big Mac, who’d taken on a greater quantity of soup than anypony in their right mind ought to, got to his hooves and scrambled for the kitchen door.

After a brief incident reminiscent of the Three Stooges, we all made it to the kitchen and got ourselves settled for dinner. This time, we were able to keep Mac away from the pot for five minutes and we all enjoyed a pleasant dinner. Not seeing a better opportunity opening up in the coming days, what with all the work we’d be doing, I turned and spoke to the largest of the Apple clan.

“Hey Big Macintosh, can Ah talk to you ‘bout somethin’ when you’re finished up with that?” I asked gesturing to his nearly empty bowl. Third bowl I hasten to add. How that stallion keeps putting it away is beyond me. He hastily wiped his soup covered snout with a hoof before replying.

“Sure, Bones. Ah’ll meet ya out by the chicken coop.” he answered. Luckily, he clocked that I wanted to talk to him about something not necessarily for the ears of everypony. With that, he promptly returned to his soup, whilst the rest of us felt we’d had about as much as we could take.

About ten minutes later, I found myself standing outside, near the little henhouse that the farm maintained. Like Fluttershy, we kept the chickens for their eggs, though ours were free range; insofar as they could wander about the farm as much as they pleased. It was really good of Fluttershy to go and have a word with our local example of Vulpes vulpes to prevent any of the hens suddenly disappearing.

I was also conscious of the fact that the coop was a fair distance away from the farmhouse, giving me and Big Mac some privacy. I would have to be very careful how I handled this conversation. Like most older brothers, myself included, I knew Mac was very protective of his little sister. When I’d first started living with the Apples’ he’d been a little suspicious of me for that exact reason. Personally, I put it down to the loss he experienced at such a young age, something no foal ought to ever have to go through. In any case, I would at some point during this talk be asking him if he was okay with me going out with Applejack.

I wasn’t doing this because I thought he might rip me to shreds if I didn’t (though that thought did cross my mind). I was doing this out of respect for him, as the father figure, and his family. It would be better to do it this way, rather than announce it all after the fact. That way, there would be no chances of trouble arising later on. After all, at some point, who knows, Big Mac may end up being the one to give Applejack away.

As I continued to contemplate what I was going to say, the stallion in question arrived. He seemed placid enough, but then again, Big Mac always seems placid, until you tick him off.

“Evenin’, Mac,” I said kindly.

“Bones,” he replied. I took my next steps most carefully.

“Mac, you know how Princess Cadance came by this afternoon?”

“Eeyup.” The familiar reply settled me a little.

“Well, she came to see me ‘bout somethin’.” Big Mac remained quiet, silently instructing me to go on. “She wanted to talk to me ‘bout AJ.” I struggled to even keep eye contact with the large stallion. It was telling my parents I was a Brony all over again. Finally though, I summoned up the courage.

“Mac, how would you feel if Ah liked AJ, as more than just a friend Ah mean?” That was it; no turning back now. Mac suddenly let out a strange combination of a snort and a whinny and his eyes went wide in surprise. In spite of myself I did my best to keep quiet. If he didn’t approve, anything I said would just dig me deeper, and if he did I shouldn’t add anything. Eventually, he spoke.

“Come on, Bones. Let’s take a walk.”

Big Mac’s response to my question didn’t exactly fill me with optimism. I’d asked to talk to him away from the farmhouse so we could discuss everything privately. And yet here he was, leading me deeper and deeper into the orchards.

For a while, I retraced my steps, going past the Crusaders clubhouse again, but we then took a sharp right, into the one orchard that was never harvested. This was where the apple canker had last taken hold every single tree was either felled or dead as a dodo. In the faint moonlight, the place seemed even more menacing.

Mac hadn’t said a word to me the entire time. I couldn’t help but feel that I was being taken on the Equestrian equivalent of a one-way ride. Who knows, maybe other stallions had tried to court Applejack in the past and maybe Big Mac had bumped them off and buried them out here.

No, that’s just stupid. This is Big Mac after all; the guy wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Arriving in a clearing, surrounded by broken trees, Mac turned to me.

“Alright, Bones. Now what did ya mean by that just now?” he asked, his voice still its usual calm, deep tone. I struggled for a moment to overcome my fear.

“Well, Mac,” I began hesitantly. “Ah suppose there’s no other way to put this. Ah like Applejack. You’re her older brother so Ah felt that Ah owed it to ya to tell you that Ah’m gonna be goin’ out with her sometime. And Ah want to ask if you’re okay with that.”

Big Mac fixed me with a steely gaze, evidently he needed further convincing.

“Ah promise Ah’ll treat her right, Mac.” Now he spoke.

“Eeyup,”

“You know Ah’m a decent guy,”

“Eeyup,”

“And Ah’d never do nothin’ to hurt AJ,”

“Nnope,”

“Because, then you’d have to set me straight. Right?”

“Eeyup,” That last one carried more than a hint of malice. My gaze couldn’t but be drawn to the felled trees; none of them had been cut down, Mac had bucked them down. I decided to go for broke.

“So, do Ah have your blessin’ or not?”

Big Macintosh turned away from me at that point. He walked out into the middle of the clearing, which was lit by the light of the waning moon. Curiously, he simply stared up at it, as if almost in conversation with the satellite. Eventually, he turned back and walked over to me, standing where he had been before. He stared straight at me for the longest time, almost as if he was looking through me, perhaps he was; the stallion is an excellent judge of character. Laying a hoof on my shoulder, he gave me his answer.

“You treat her right, Bones,” he said. He then lowered his voice. "If Ah ever hear talk you ain't been doin so, Ah'll haul your flank back here myself." He didn't need to hammer the point home, but I understood his reasons for doing so. With that, he turned and began to head back to the farm, with me following a few steps behind. And since that day, he has not brought the matter up again.

The two of us walked back to the farmhouse, after a while I stuck up a semi-light-hearted conversation about what was on the agenda in an attempt to break the previous tension. I honestly sometimes wonder if that conversation even happened. From the way Big Mac acted on the way back, you’d never guess that we’d been staring each other down moments ago. Everypony bar Applejack had gone to bed when we got back. The poor mare was tired, but nevertheless asked what had kept us both out so late. We merely replied that we’d been ‘chatting’.

The next morning was, strange, to say the least. So much had happened the previous day. It was almost as if this was just some strange dream, and I was observing through somepony’s eyes. Who knows, sometimes I do think all of this is a dream. I mean, what are the odds that I ended up in Equestria, as a pony, with my family and became friends with the Elements of Harmony? Nah, if this was a dream, I’d have woken up by now. Dreams don’t last for several months.

I rolled myself out of bed, landing with only some unsteadiness on my hooves. Trotting over to the far side of the room, I pulled back the curtains to let the beginnings of the morning light in. One advantage to getting up as early as the Apples’ do; since the sun is barely up, you don’t get that horrible moment where the sunlight pierces your eyes making you stagger about in pain.

Out across the acres, the first few red and orange hues of the sunrise could be seen, and high above the last few stars were fading into the encroaching blue. Still, I prefer to see this display reversed. For whatever reason, the acres look far more beautiful in the sunset than they do in the sunrise. As does a certain pretty orange mare I might add.

After making up the bed and working to make myself generally presentable, I headed downstairs. Perhaps by the hand of fate, or perhaps because we had rooms directly across from each other, I bumped into Applejack in the hallway. Unlike me, she hadn’t quite got herself sorted out and ready yet. For one thing, her mane didn’t have its usual ribbons in it, nor did she have her Stetson on. Her mane was sitting limply over her shoulders, that same pretty blond it always was. My mind suggested that I ask her to wear her mane like that more often; it certainly gave her a different look. However, my mind also pointed out that as of that moment, I’d been staring at her for a fair while. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

“Oh, err, mornin’ ‘Jack,” I said, in an efforts to cover up the fact that I’d been staring.

“Mornin’ Bones,” she replied sweetly. “Sleep well?” she paused to let off a large yawn.

“Yeah, not too bad,” I paused in my own reply to stretch my back. “Think we’ll finish up with the health check today?” She nodded.

“Less than a hundred left, we’ll probably call it a half day today. Though Ah wouldn’t mind takin’ a look at those bramble patches too.” Out toward the edge of the farm, brambles had become something of an issue; given the chance they could choke trees. Due to the early hour and my brain not being properly warmed up, I asked her about her mane.

“Been a while since you’ve worn your mane like that, AJ. What’s the occasion?” The last time she’d not had her ribbons was on Nightmare Night. She turned her head and examined her loose blond mane with some surprise.

“Oh shoot, Ah knew I’d forgotten somethin’. Thanks, Bones.” I guess the morning makes fools of us all. Quickly doubling back to her room, she grabbed two red ribbons and tied her mane back into its usual, well, ponytail. I waited for her at the top of the stairs. Below I could already hear Granny Smith knocking about with pots and pans. A moment later, Applejack returned.

“Better?” I asked jokingly. Internally, one part of my mind was beating up the other for pointing out AJ’s mane, which was now back to normal. I much preferred her mane loose.

“Sure, Bones. And at least Ah know now why you had wanderin’ eyes just now.” Normally, that would have put me on the defensive, but today, my behaviour was quite different.

“Well you are quite the sight for sore eyes, ‘Jack,” I countered. Applejack and part of my own mind was stunned into silence. Did I just flirt with Applejack?

Chapter 57 - Discord's Idea of Romance

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It had been a week since everything had happened; since I had finally gotten over my own fears (and perhaps stupidity), and admitted, before the Princess of Love no less, that I liked Applejack. Luckily, the passage of time seemed to have eroded the strange ‘love high’ that had afflicted me in the hours immediately following my meeting with Cadence. Perhaps it was a residual effect of her spell.

Anyway, at this point, things had returned pretty much to their norm, with one or two exceptions. New feelings or not, the farm still needed to be tended to and we were still being kept quite busy. With the health checks done, Mac and I were now setting about felling the trees that didn’t pass muster. They’d be cut up, dried and used for firewood, both by ourselves and sold to others.

Now, as to what was happening with me and AJ. Well, I was in uncharted waters, so to speak, I’d never been in a relationship before, so I was just doing what I thought best; biding my time for now. Our relationship was never going to be the sort of romantic nonsense you’d expect from Rarity’s romance collection, there were certainly no rose petals and chocolates in the Apple house. I suppose you could class our current relationship as that of high school sweethearts. We’d kissed on occasion, we liked each other and it was easy to tell, but I was not doing anything serious just yet. Even at this stage I took great pains to remind myself that this was reality, not a shipfic.

Regardless, I’d both received congratulations from all sides. When the subject of my conversation with Cadence reached my parents via a certain fashionista, I’d been promptly scooped up by my mother and given a death hug (I honestly wish I was a slightly larger pony, just so she couldn’t do that) while my father had, for once, been more subtle and simply smiled at me. I still wasn’t quite sure whether I should thank him or punch him. Lizzie on the other hand just kept asking what on earth AJ saw in me. The Apples’ were equally accepting; Big Mac seemed willing enough to accept the idea of me eventually going out with AJ. AB meanwhile complained that this turn of events affected her plans for ‘Cutie Mark Crusader Matchmakers’.

I was currently sitting in Golden Oaks library doing what Twilight called ‘independent study’. In other words, I was allowed to teach myself a little bit today whilst the young alicorn worked on her own magical abilities. In lieu of my interest in dark magic, I had procured a book from the restricted section of the library. I was by no means contemplating using it any time soon, but I believe that if we are to understand magic properly, we must study all its aspects. I was currently examining the title of one of them; ‘Treatise on the Darker Magiks’.

Now, books typically list their author, or authors on the first page, in this case though, much to my amusement, the most definitive of texts went over four whole pages. I began to read it aloud.

“Written by His Most Excellent Imperial Majesty, High King Sombra the Great. Sole Ruler and Emperor of the Grand Imperial Crystal Empire, and the Dominions, Territories and Dependents of the same. Commander in Chief of His Most Imperial Majesty’s Forces by Land and by Sea. First Minister of Imperial Crystal Legislature, Head of the Privy Council and High Lord of the Grand Judiciary and Star Chamber of the same. Governor of the Imperial First City of the Crystal Empire. Holder of the Glorious Crystal Heart and Master of the Forbidden Crystal Palace…” This was as far as I got before I could restrain myself from laughing. “Well, the stallion had an ego.” I said to myself.

I then began to read the actual text, which was luckily not so flowery. As perhaps one of the most powerful unicorns of his day, second perhaps only to Starswirl the Bearded, Sombra knew what he was talking about when he set out to write the definitive text on the subject of dark magic. Call him what you may, but Sombra, who was no more than a unicorn, was in the end defeated only by the two most powerful ponies in the world and then by a magical super weapon. He was no spirit of chaos, he was not an alicorn or other powerful magical being, nor did he use any method to increase his magical ability and power. He was just a unicorn, yet it took the full might of the Royal Sisters to bring him down.

It was something to aim for.

The very first section surprised me, for it verified what Cadence had told me regarding the relationship between dark magic and love. It read as this:
‘Novice practitioners of the dark arts will usually first struggle to manifest their magical energy, just as a helpless foal does the first day they are instructed on how to utilise magic’s lesser forms. The most common mistake to be noted is the attempt to force the negative emotion into the mind.
‘Naturally, high negative emotion, such as strong rage and anger, or hatred is required in order to allow true dark magic to manifest, however forcing these emotions through the use of imaginative exercises will yield minimal results. The emotion, however real it is perceived by the practitioner to be, is nothing more than a fantasy. The mind recognises this and consequently does not respond adequately. In time this problem will diminish as the practitioner becomes better aligned with the emotions in question, eventually allowing them to apply them with almost no conscious effort.

‘But to begin with, it will be difficult for a practitioner to create these emotions and thus to manifest dark magic. To achieve the necessary emotion, a practitioner ought to look to the other side of magic. Ironically, the far inferior magic of love can be of use to a practitioner. A double edged sword, love can be a catalyst for great anger and rage just as much as it can be for tenderness and mercy, allowing the practitioner to achieve the necessary energy.’

I was about to continue with this most interesting of studies, when I was interrupted by Twilight, who had evidently been watching me for some time. Spotting her in the corner of my peripheral vision, I jumped up from my sitting position in fright.

“Twilight, ya scared the living daylights out of me!” I complained. She smiled and did her best to look sheepish.

“Sorry, Blade Star,” she offered. “I came over to see if you wanted to stop for lunch, but you looked pretty engrossed with what you were reading.”

“Well, now you know what you’re like when you’re studying,” I countered jokingly.

“What were you using your independent study time for anyway?” she asked, levitating the old tome away from me.

“Reading up on an old foe of yours.” Twilight examined the text herself, briefly speed reading as far as my bookmark was.

“Dark magic? Why are you interested in that?” she asked curiously. I thought for a few moments before answering.

“Just something we haven’t covered all that much is all.” While I had been taught about the principles of dark magic and used some high level spell with the aid of the Alicorn Amulet, I had never been shown any of the lower level spells. Twilight frowned a little.

“There is a reason for that, Blade Star. That kind of magic can be extremely dangerous,” she paused, hearing the somewhat scolding tone of her voice. Taking a moment to use her breathing exercise she began again.

“Did you see when I was trying to find the Crystal Heart?” I nodded. “And did you see the door Spike and I found?”

“Yes, the door to your worst fears. It kept moving around until you hit it with a blast of dark magic. Though it turned out you needed your kind of magic to actually open it.”

“Right. I used a low level dark magic spell, powered by my frustration, to force the door to keep still. But when I used it, it affected me. By charging the door with negative magic like that, I caused it to show my biggest fear. Low level dark magic is a vicious circle just as much as the higher tier spells; it affects you negatively and encourages you to use it more, until you eventually lose yourself. If Spike hadn’t snapped me out of it, I might have used the same magic in an effort to break the spell powered by my despair. Do you see what I’m saying?” I nodded in understanding.

“Even small uses of dark magic can be corruptive and it almost inevitably leads to you eventually losing yourself.” That was the price of such power I supposed, and also why Sombra was the only one to write a book on the subject. Fewer stallions than he had such a strength of will.

“It’s not that dark magic is something that is never studied, or something we just bury our heads in the sand over. It’s just that you need to be extremely careful. You’ve come a long way with your studies, but even I wouldn’t try using it again.” I sunk my head a bit. However, Twilight levitated the book back to me. “But, while I don’t want you using dark magic, I see no reason why you can’t study it. As long as it doesn’t affect the rest of your studies.”

With the completion of our little chat, Twilight, Spike and I headed out of the library to get some lunch. The rest of the girls, Applejack included, had said they would do their best to join us when they could. We were going to that lovely little café that Twilight frequented in her early days in Ponyville. The place was something along the lines of a bistro, but also avoidant of being seen as too like a Canterlot eatery; a decent mix of high class cuisine and good hearty food. And even better, it was almost smack dab in the middle of town, so it made a convenient meeting point.

When the three of us got there, Rainbow was already waiting for us and had got us all a table with Pinkie, who was bouncing around as she waited.

“Hey Dash. Hey Pinkie,” I said as we sat ourselves down on the available cushions. “How’s tricks?”

Rainbow quickly pre-empted Pinkie, who had apparently been talking non-stop for the past twenty minutes on a new cupcake mixture she’d invented. Dash chatted a little bit about her weather work. With the portal sealed, the previously random weather from the Everfree had come to a halt and she’d been able to let her team rest up for a day or so. It had also given her an opportunity to move her cloud home back to its usual spot. Because of the sheer amount of weather operations that had taken place during Winter Wrap Up, her own dwelling had begun to drift westward (apparently a similar thing tended to happen with Cloudsdale) and needed to be towed back.

At that point, Rarity and Applejack arrived. The former had something of a curious look on her face, directed at me, whilst the latter once again had neither Stetson nor ribbons on her head. I might have zoned out for a minute or two. Eventually, when my brain rebooted I heard Applejack speak.

“See, Rarity. Ah told ya he did. Every time Ah wear my mane like this he gets all googly eyed,” she proclaimed. Luckily for me, Rarity then handed her back her usual accessories and Applejack returned to her normal self. The only one missing from our gathering now was Fluttershy. I always appreciated her company, and of course, I couldn’t thank her enough for taking Lizzie in.

Unfortunately though, it turned out that Fluttershy had been forced to send a substitute in her place. Her other roommate.

“Hi girls!” Discord cheered, in a voice strangely reminiscent of Twilight. The Draconequus, declining to take the provided cushions, snapped his eagle talons and produced a rather lavish high backed chair for himself and sat down with us.

“Guess who’s coming to dinner,” I muttered under my breath.

“Oh my dear boy, don’t be like that,” he replied having evidently heard my mutterings. “Surely as an upstanding friend and confidante of this little group, I’m allowed to attend in dear Fluttershy’s place?”

“Friend perhaps. Confidante, no,” I countered. “Why couldn’t Fluttershy come anyway? It wouldn’t have something to do with you, would it?”

“Me? Whatever would suggest to you that there was any sort of foul play afoot?” He then proceeded to remove a large hen from between his reptilian toes, the poor thing clucked in surprise at having been suddenly transported to the centre of town.

As much as I wanted to start arguing with him, I knew it would be quite pointless and would just put a damper on everypony else’s day. But Discord, perhaps by virtue of being the spirit of chaos and disharmony, was not quite finished.

“Well at least let me help out with paying for all of this. Let’s go Dutch.” And with that, we found ourselves sitting in a poppy field surround by old wooden windmills. A poppy field in the Netherlands. In Europe. On planet Earth.

“Yeah, or we could just go back to Equestria,” RD commented, unphased by his antics. “You know, where the food, and the restaurant is, and where bits are legal tender.” I shot up with a start.

“Wait a minute, is this Earth?!” I asked incredulously. Discord nodded, grinning.

“Now you see it, now you don’t,” And just like that, we were back in Ponyville at our table. I was about to lunge at Discord and demand that he take my family home, when Twilight grabbed me via telekinesis.

“Don’t waste your time, Blade Star. That was just an illusion spell, like the one I taught you.” I slumped back in my seat. Twilight turned to Discord. “Discord that was cruel and heartless.” Discord merely stuck his tongue out.

“I’ll have you know it also takes a lot of effort to throw out something like that,” he countered.

I think the whole ‘reforming’ process is a bit hit and miss. Okay, he’s not trying to take over Equestria anymore, but he’s still annoying and at times mean as a rattlesnake. Who knows, perhaps he really was just Q.

Luckily for all of us, we were then interrupted by the waiter, who had arrived to take our orders. We all settled for sandwiches or something similarly light. Personally, I went for a dandelion sandwich, something I had actually taken the trouble to try back on Earth. Even as a human, with the right dressing, they weren’t bad.

We then began to happily chat amongst ourselves. Twilight and Rarity happily discussed a new spell the latter had been working on to prevent clothing from wrinkling, a potential breakthrough even by Twilight’s standards, whilst Spike did his best to chip in and gain approval from the love of his life. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were actually talking business for once, with AJ sorting out a suitable timetable for rainfall that would suit both her and Rainbow’s own busy schedule. And Pinkie, well, she was currently stuck in an infinite loop on the subject of how hungry we all were.

That left me to chat with Discord. Deciding to take the moral high ground, I did my best to be civil with him.

“So, how have you been, Discord?” I asked neutrally.

“Oh, as well as can be expected I suppose. Dropping in on Fluttershy every now and again for tea. Going to see Tia for cake.” He leaned back in his chair forming his lion paw and eagle talons into a steeple, as if in deep contemplation. “I heard you’ve been quite busy though, and little Candy butt came here a little while ago.” Now to anyone else and coming from anyone else, this would have been a perfectly innocent comment. Coming from Discord, it meant he knew something and wanted to brag about it. And to be honest, the Cheshire grin he was sporting was a dead giveaway.

“Ah was surprised you didn’t show your weasel face,” I countered. “Ah figured you would’ve at least shown up to annoy Cadence. Or have you been ‘droppin’ in’ on her too?”

“A creature of chaos I may be, but even I know when to step back and let things unfold in their own time, Blade Star.” Discord almost looked hurt by my remark. “Besides, not all chaos requires a snap of my talons. But enough of that, how have things been with your southern belle?” I rolled my eyes and sighed. Across the table AJ and Rainbow were still chatting amicably.

“Me and AJ are doin’ just fine, thank you.”

“Oh so I was right after all,” Discord said, grinning even more. “Ah, young love.”

“It’s not like that, Discord,” I countered crossly. Just because I liked her, didn’t mean I was willing to tell all of Equestria about it.

At this point, everypony was finishing up with their lunches. I’d just about polished off my own sandwich. Twilight asked Rarity to come back to the library with her to make some final touches to the spell, much to Spike’s glee. Rainbow took off to do some local weather jobs and Applejack, after having picked up her tab, bid goodbye to us and headed back toward the farm.

“Ah’ll catch up with ya in a couple minutes, ‘Jack. See you soon,” I called after her. She turned and quickly waved before heading off. Discord and I were the only ones at the table now, aside from Pinkie who was still looping. The Draconequus let out a low whistle.

“Wow, you really are head over heels for her aren’t you,” he said.

“What do you mean?” I asked in confusion.

“That whole ‘see you soon’ thing,” he elaborated.

“That was just ‘see you soon’. Nothin’ else to it; just two friends talkin’ to each other.” Discord shook his head.

“No that was, ‘I like your flank. Can I wear it as a hat?’.” I spluttered at that whilst he burst out laughing.

“What?!” I exclaimed. “How in the name of Celestia did you get that?!” I exclaimed, somewhat disgusted by his comment. Discord continued to howl with laughter.

Now, I’ve put up with Discord for a fair while. At the end of the day, he’s not really as bad as he seems. He wouldn’t have opted to reform if that wasn’t the case. And he certainly wasn’t evil, just chaotic. And normally, I will tolerate his antics and wisecracks. But every time he said something about Applejack, like he had on Nightmare Night, it really riled me up.

And that’s why I socked him in the face. It felt good.

All the way back to Sweet Apple Acres, I mentally listed all the ways I could injure the spirit of chaos. For reasons unknown, he seemed to have settled on annoying me. I knew he annoyed Dad in court sometimes and that he proved just as trying to Twilight. But he seemed to be determined to be a thorn in my side. Maybe I’m being too self-centred. Still, his wisecrack about me and AJ had ruined my temper. I never thought that way about her for goodness sake, even if I do like her! I did my best to put it all out of my mind as I got back to the farm.

The rest of the afternoon was spent working with Big Macintosh on felling the trees that had been earmarked during the health check. Most of them were older specimens or ones that had, for whatever reason, not taken root. This was actually one of the few times I ever used magic on Sweet Apple Acres. Whilst Big Mac could, with alarming ease, buck the trees over, I was not so able. Instead, I used a fairly basic fire spell, creating a small, thin beam of white hot energy to cut through the trees at the base. They could then be felled, and I could heave the stump up using good old fashioned pony power. Mac was actually quite impressed with the display, although he still managed to buck down far more trees that I could cut down.

Applejack stopped by just as the two of us were finishing loading the wagon with the last of the freshly cut logs. We certainly wouldn’t have to worry about fuel for the fire next winter. Hay, Dash could cover Ponyville in snow all year round and we’d probably still do alright.

“You two finished up here?” AJ called as she trotted up. Big Mac slowly nodded his head.

“Sure, Sis. We’ll stow this last haul in the barn an’ then we’re done.” He then hooked himself up to the wagon and began to haul it back home, leaving me and Applejack to walk back.

“So, Discord seemed to be gettin’ under your skin again today, Bones,” she said cautiously. I smiled as I looked over to her.

“You know what he’s like ‘Jack. Just loves to stir up trouble. Still, Ah shouldn’t let it get to me though.” Applejack smiled and lidded her eyes.

“So what were the pair of you yappin’ ‘bout anyway?” she asked. I felt my face heat up all the way to the tips of my ears.

“Oh, er, nothin’ really,” I said desperately. “He was just playin’ some of the town gossip.” Perhaps taking pity on me, AJ relented, but I’m almost certain she knew that she had been the subject of discussion, and the one count of common assault.

Chapter 58 - Live from The Sands

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For the second time since my arrival in Equestria, I found myself completely lucid and taken from my dream, which I do not remember, standing on a moonlit hillside. The sky was clear and filled with stars. To my left was the Princess of the Night herself. Having not just been pulled from a vivid bad dream (I hate to use the term ‘nightmare’), I asked the obvious question.

“Luna, what brings you here?” The princess smiled and settled herself down beside me.

“I thought I could come and talk with you for a while, since we haven’t had a chance to speak since Nightmare Night. Equestria is quiet and peaceful for the moment and I just parted ways with the last petitioner for the night. Thus, I am here, as are you,” she replied.

“You wish to talk about my love life I suppose?” I offered, unintentionally sounding bitter. Again though, she smiled.

“Your ‘love life’ and what you choose to do in it, is none of my concern, Blade Star. I am here solely to ‘catch up’ as they say, with a friend.” I breathed a silent sigh of relief, at last somepony who wasn’t intent on sticking their snout where it didn’t belong! I turned to briefly hug her.

“It’s good to see you again, Luna.”

We talked for, in reality, only a few minutes. Those of you familiar with the mechanics of dreams will know that time passes within them at a greatly accelerated rate. So while it seemed as if we talked for a good three hours or so, in the waking world, it was probably no more than thirty minutes.

Luna chatted about her own Night Court, the natural counterpart to the Day Court in which my father sat as an advisor. It was steadily finding itself with more serious and genuine petitioners. To begin with, it had either been unattended or been populated sparsely with Solar zealots and idiots who believed the wise, kind alicorn to still be the evil demon that sought to bring about night time eternal. Luckily though, as the months had crept by, and with her successful visit to Ponyville, these ponies had steadily trickled off and been replaced by actual petitioners.

Many saw Luna as being slightly more approachable than her elder sister. Others saw her as an alternative to Celestia, who at times would hold back on serious issues. Luna may be calm and kind, but harm her ponies, well; you’ve seen what happens when she gets mad. Of course, Luna also dealt with more crime than her sister, giving her own Lunar Guards plenty of work to practice infiltration as well as presenting an unusual use for her dream walking. When she saw the dream of a crime and confirmed it to be a memory, she would silently send two of her guards to bring the guilty before her. It was an interesting system, I’ll say that much.

“Sounds like you’ve actually got a fair bit on your plate for once, Luna,” I commented as she finished summing up her night.

“That was actually why I came here, Blade Star. You provide some pleasant company and relaxation without the distraction of my title. Tell me, how familiar are you with the concept of ‘lucid dreaming’?”

I was aware of it, in fact on several occasions I had even managed to achieve such a state, though often by luck rather than judgement. It was an interesting concept, to be able to take control of your dream and shape it as you wish. It was like having access to the illusion spell Twilight had taught me, but on a much grander scale. And of course, such a world is populated by characters.

“Ah tried it once or twice, why do you ask?”

“With my dream magic, I can keep a dream stable almost indefinitely, hence how I am able to converse with dreamers after removing nightmares. However, it is much easier when I myself am not the dreamer. Were you to weave a world for us to visit, I would be able to keep us both lucid.”

Now that, fillies and gentlecolts, was an interesting proposition. I could effectively go anywhere and do anything, retaining my awareness throughout and have Luna along for the ride. I wracked my brain for somewhere suitable. It would definitely have to be someplace on Earth, somewhere to talk and relax, music maybe.

That’s when it hit me, if it were still possible, I would have snapped my fingers. A place that had good music, drinks and a certain appreciation for life at night. Carefully focusing on the image in my mind, I began to weave the world.

Firstly, the peaceful moonlit hillside we sat upon promptly vanished, and we found ourselves sitting in a white expanse. Then the world began to form around us. It was like you were looking at a film that was not quite in focus; the image was blurry and the sound distorted. But as Luna flared her horn, the image, and consequently the dream, stabilised. We found ourselves in a large expansive room with mint green ceiling and walls with teak highlights. Small faux chandeliers hung from the ceiling bathing the room in warm yellow light. At the front was a fairly large stage, with lavish curtains. Sitting right in front were row after row of long tables dotted with small tableside lamps and covered with lavish white tablecloths. Further back, a waist high rail and few steps separated that from a set of smaller tables more suited for couples and small groups. Soft carpets could be felt underhoof.

With the world formed, I quickly began to populate it. The tables were filled with people laughing and chatting to each other over drinks. The scent of perfume and cigar smoke hung in the air, whilst a swing band played an interlude in the background. Finally, to fit us both in, I added some evening attire. For me, a sharp suit with a black jacket complete with a matching tie of course, and for her, a silky little dark blue number that was just a shade or two darker than her coat which turned to black as you reached the edge, along with her ever present obsidian crown.

The strange locale she found herself in along with our sudden change took Luna aback for a moment, and she was stunned into silence briefly as she looked around.

“Where in Equestria is this place?” she asked, her nose wrinkling slightly at the unfamiliar odour on the air.

“It’s not Equestria, Luna,” I replied, leading her to one of the smaller tables, which oddly had the same cushions you’d expect to find in Equestria. “Ah thought we might go someplace a little different. Welcome to Earth, specifically the Sands Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada. This is the Copa Room, and Ah’d say it’s about ten in the evening in 1963."

And with that, the announcer came over the speakers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1SArcjFJBM

The whole show lasted about an hour. It consisted of a half an hour of songs, and around half an hour or so (go to 34:30) of the three men colloquially known as ‘The Rat Pack’ performing ad lib with each other. After the first fifteen minutes, the night princess sitting across from me was howling with laughter at Dean Martin’s on-going feud with the band leader on how long the last note ought to be held and the occasional questionable joke at Sammy’s expense. By that time we’d both ordered ourselves a drink or two (due to the dream state the fact that two talking ponies had wandered into one of the biggest casinos in Vegas was not an issue) and had settled down to watch the show.

It was certainly a pleasant experience; whilst AJ was closer to me than anypony, Luna was more of a dear friend I could talk to. As I said before, I liked to think we both had a lot in common. This was merely a good night out with a good friend. A friend who happened to at that moment be the head of state.

One thing that amazed me throughout the whole experience, was the details my mind. Every single person, and there had to be around four hundred people was unique, every song line was exact and I honestly thought I was sitting down watching the Rat Pack. I guess that’s why they say we only use around ten percent of our brains when we’re awake.

But as they say, all good things must come to an end, and the show eventually drew to a close. The two of us eventually found ourselves outside on The Strip looking up at the starry sky. Even with all the lights, you could still make out most of the stars in the sky, and of course the moon. Luna turned to me.

“I had a wonderful time tonight, Blade Star.” I smiled and pushed my fedora a little way back on my head, whilst my other hoof clung to my jacket that I’d slung over my shoulder.

“Me too, it was certainly an experience, Ah’ll tell you that,” I replied.

“Perhaps we should make a habit of this little venture,” Luna suggested. “This evening has certainly been a welcome change of pace for me and I would greatly value another chance to see a little bit of Earth.” That I could certainly live with.

“Sure, Princess, but err, call ahead first, eh?” We both laughed at that.

And with that, Luna released her hold over my dream. The world began to distort again and one by one, the lights of Vegas went out. The evening-wear I had on had faded from my form and eventually Luna herself disappeared into the night. As the world finally disappeared into the darkness, I found myself waking up once again back in Equestria, on Sweet Apple Acres. It had certainly been some night.

As the world became a void, a thought occurred to my rapidly awaking mind. What if I could do this sort of thing with Applejack sometime? Luna was able to link ponies’ dreams to her own for the purposes of her nightly work, but what if she could link two ponies and act as a sort of conduit? I could do something like this with AJ, okay maybe not the glittering lights of Vegas in the 60’s, but there’s bound to be something we could do together. I made a mental note to ask Luna if it was at all possible, and of course if she would be willing to do it, the next time she chose to drop by.

As we all sat down that morning for breakfast, Applejack, Big Mac and I talked amongst ourselves about what jobs needed to be done. With the health checks done and all the necessary trees felled and processed into lumber, we once again had a quiet spell. Aside from keeping an eye out for weeds and vermin, there was little to do now but wait and watch. At least, that was the situation farm-wise.

Outside of the Apples’ work mentality, there was quite a lot happening. The Equestria Games were only a few months away now, and the excitement was starting to build. Along with that of course, the family reunion was beginning to draw near, where every member of the Apple family would descend upon their ancestral home of the acres. Still, both those events were a fair way away. Consequently, the universe, perhaps seeing this calm as being too kind, threw in a monkey wrench. It began with a knock on the door.

“Ah’ll get it,” I said, having just finished up my own breakfast. Winona quickly followed me to the front door, barking happily as she went. Opening the door, I found initially no one. I looked around.

“Hey, down here!” called a familiar voice. I realised that Ponyville’s only resident dragon had called upon us.

“Oh, sorry Spike,” I said, quickly adjusting my gaze downward to find the little purple dragon. “What can Ah do for you this early in the mornin’? You’re usually still asleep this early.” Half-past seven was definitely well outside of Spike’s normal sleeping habits.

“It’s Twilight; she’s having one of her ‘moments’.” I cocked an eyebrow at that, a skill I’ve probably picked up from AJ. “Derpy came by last night with her daughter, Nurse Redheart and your mom. After that, she started going through every biology book she could find, I’m pretty sure she stayed up all night again.”

“Did any of them say what it’s about?” I asked. “And why the hay was my mom there anyway?”

“She said she thought there was something wrong with Dinky, so she told Derpy. Derpy took her to Ponyville hospital, but they couldn’t do anything so they took her to the library to see Twilight.” This was starting to sound just a mite odd.

“And ya didn’t happen to hear what this ‘problem’ was?” I offered. Spike shook his head.

“Something about her heart I think; everypony came back this morning and Twilight’s completely stumped.” I thought for a moment; they always say two heads are better than one. I’m sure seven heads are better than six. I turned back into the house and told AJ I was popping out for a minute.

“Alright, Spike, Ah’ll come back with ya; see if we can’t sort this whole mess out.” I briefly lit my horn and grabbed my hat from its place on the stand. “Come on, jump up; Ah’ll give ya a lift.” With Spike secured, I cast my horn alight again and powered a teleport, which would probably leave me a little out of breath. The pair of us promptly found ourselves in Ponyville, not too far from the library.

Arriving outside, everything seemed relatively normal. The library hadn’t gone airborne, there were no signs of smoke or fire and the laws of physics and quantum as well as temporal mechanics seemed to still be in effect. Still, the two of us remained cautious as we gently pushed open the door and walked inside.

We found the situation pretty much as Spike had described it. Twilight was pacing around the library, frustration clear on her features in spite of the various texts that surrounded her through her magical grasp. Sitting on one of the reading tables, in the place of the wooden horse bust was Dinky; Derpy’s daughter, and possibly one of the most adorable fillies in Equestria. Gathered around her was her mother, my own mother and Nurse Redheart. All three looked decidedly nervous, whilst Dinky seemed to be quite calm and more interested in the architecture of the library rather than any other issue. Just as I closed the door behind me, Twilight groaned irritably and tossed the book she had previously been consulting away.

“This doesn’t make any sense!” she exclaimed, throwing her front hooves up in frustration. “There’s no mention of anything even close to Dinky’s characteristics. And I can’t believe this is just a genetic quirk, there would be some record of it somewhere.” I began to think of a way I could calm Twilight down without placing my own continued existence in jeopardy. “I mean, it shouldn’t even be possible for somepony to have two hearts!”

What?

Was she serious?! This called for a sudden change in tactics.

“Twilight,” I called out. The purple alicorn, along with everypony else turned around and at last noticed Spike and I standing just inside the building. I tried to think about how best to proceed without breaking a Pinkie Promise.

“Does Equestria have access to x-ray equipment, or something similar?” Nurse Redheart responded instead.

“That’s how we confirmed what was going on with her,” she snapped, a little irritably. “Just because we don’t have that ‘tee-vee’ thing Twilight keeps telling me about doesn’t mean we live in the dark ages.” She handed me a small manila folder containing several x-rays, just as you’d expect to find in a hospital on Earth. Holding them up to the light I examined them for myself.

The vital organs could easily be distinguished in the shot, though they appeared somewhat transparent. Looking carefully I could see several characteristics that were definitely not equine in origin, Dinky did indeed have two hearts, a fact that set my own heart racing. Setting the x-ray photographs down I turned to Dinky herself, leaving Twilight to examine the x-rays for herself.

“Hi Dinky,” I said brightly as I walked up to her.

“Hi, Mr Star,” she replied politely.

“Looks like you’ve stirred up quite the ruckus,” I commented dryly. The filly smiled and nodded. “Ah think Ah can sort this out, but Ah’ll need ya to answer a couple questions for me first. Okay?”

“Okay.”

And so, I began to question little Dinky. I asked her questions mainly on science and mathematics. As my mother had already noted, she was incredibly smart for her age; too smart. As if her possessing two hearts, a binary vascular system, the ability to survive in unusually cold temperature as well as in otherwise inhospitable environments and her ability to sustain injuries that would kill most other beings, was not indicator enough. With my little bit of timewasting complete, I turned back to the group.

“Well, Ah can definitely tell you that you have nothing to worry about. Ah know what’s up with Dinky here.” I paused to ruffle the filly’s mane, and to enjoy the one moment in time where I knew something Twilight Sparkle didn’t.

“So what is the matter with her?” Twilight asked impatiently. I turned to my mother.

“Well, Ah’m surprised you didn’t work it out, Mom,” I said, looking at her in mock surprise.

“What do you mean?” she replied. “I don’t know nearly as much about Equestria as you do. How am I supposed to know something Twilight doesn’t?”

“Simple; Dinky here isn’t Equestrian,” I paused. “Actually to be fair, she is half Equestrian; Derpy is her mother after all. No, Dinky is a hybrid with another species.” My mother remained confused. “Come on, Mom; two hearts, intelligent to the point of being dangerous, a slightly eccentric disposition.”

“What on Earth are you on about?” she and Twilight exclaimed together. I suppose I had been lording it over them a bit.

“Alright, Ah’ll put it simple. Time Lord.” Silence followed for about three seconds.

Chapter 59 - The Last But One

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The library was silent as the assembled group attempted to process my deduction; with varying degrees of intelligence. Twilight Sparkle, naturally spoke first.

“A time what?!” she exclaimed, complete bewilderment evident on her features.

“A Time Lord, Twilight. Or Time Lady in Dinky’s case. They’re an alien race; significantly more advance than humans, from a planet called Gallifray about twenty nine thousand light-years away from Earth. Or galactic co-ordinates ten-zero-eleven-zero-zero by zero-two from galactic zero center, if ya wanna be picky.” I turned once more back to Dinky. “They’re time travellers, or at least they were. To my knowledge, aside from little Dinky here there is only one other still alive.” At this point my mother jumped into the conversation.

“Son, that can’t be right! All that stuff is fictional; it’s a story for children. It’s…” she trailed off as she realised the pointlessness of that argument; given she was currently talking to a small talking equine and standing in a locale made popular by another ‘fictional’ TV show.

“So what you’re telling me,” Twilight said as my mother trailed off. “Is that another alien, from another universe, which is just as fictional as ours in your universe, has cross bred with a pony and created a hybrid with two hearts.” Off to the side, Derpy looked away uncomfortably.

“It would appear so. But if ya don’t mind, Twilight, Ah think we should talk to Derpy ‘bout this in private.” Twilight’s eyes widened as she realised what she’d been saying in front of the poor mailmare.

“Oh, erm, right. Sorry.” The lavender alicorn blushed profusely at her hoof in mouth moment. “We can talk down in my lab.”

“Fair enough,” I replied. “Derpy, are you okay to come have a little talk?” Derpy nodded uneasily. I meanwhile turned to Dinky, who still seemed completely unphased by current events. “Dinky, why don’t you stay up here for a bit with Spike, there’s a few film reels you might like.” I levitated over a copy of some Thunderbirds episodes. “We won’t be long.”

And so the three of us walked down into Twilight’s basement.

The basement, where Twilight Sparkle kept more of ‘mad-scientist’ level equipment, was significantly sparser than I remembered it. Despite the incident happening several months ago, the small explosion the alicorn had accidentally caused whilst trying to open a portal had damaged a fair amount of her computers and other equipment. Since Equestria was not quite as advanced in terms of technology, repairs were a much more lengthy process. Components such as valves and vacuum tubes and mother boards had to be made from scratch.

The two of us led Derpy down into the basement, whilst I pulled out three small cushions for us to settle on. The solid earth floor wasn’t particularly comfortable after all. Derpy looked decidedly nervous, her mismatched eyes looking about uneasily. As we settled I attempted to calm her.

“Now Derpy, don’t you worry ‘bout a thing. Ya ain’t in any kind of trouble or nothin’. Ah just need to ask ya ‘bout a couple of things.” She noticeably relaxed at that. I guess it’s true when they say a southern accent can have a calming effect. “Alright, let’s start with how ya met him. Does it involve a strange blue box, perhaps?”

“It just appeared in mid-air,” Derpy began, recalling events several years prior. “I was flying my mail route when I heard this horrible screeching noise. Next thing I know this blue box is spinning in front of me; I had to pull all kinds of stunts just to miss it. After that it hit the ground not too far from the Everfree Forest. I flew down there to see what it was.

“As I landed a door I suppose, opened on one side of the box. Loads of smoke came pouring out and then he stumbled out too. I’d never seen him in Ponyville before. He kept muttering something about ‘non-bipedal form’ and ‘second regeneration cycles’ and loads of other stuff I didn’t understand.” Twilight was madly scribbling by this point, getting every little titbit of information she could. I merely signalled for Derpy to continue.

“I asked him if he was okay, but he was acting really strangely. It was almost as if he’d had too much salt or something; he kept talking nonsense and every now and then weird yellow clouds would come out of his mouth. Eventually I managed to get him to stop and listen to me. He’d got a nasty bump on his head, so I said I’d take him to the hospital. He didn’t like that one bit though and before I could argue with him, he passed out.

“I went to look inside the blue box thing he’d landed in. It had some weird writing on it that I couldn’t read. It definitely wasn’t Equestrian.” I held up a hoof to stop Derpy a moment and jotted a few things down on a piece of parchment.

“Did it look like this, Derpy?” I asked her. I handed her the parchment, which read ‘Police Public Call Box’ in English. Derpy nodded emphatically.

“That’s it,” she said. “And there was more writing on a little door on the front. I pulled that open and there was some strange machine; it looked a bit like a phonograph. Anyway, I managed to open the door and get inside. I’ll never forget that moment as long as I live. It was…” I cut Derpy off.

“Bigger on the inside?” I couldn’t help but smile, whilst Derpy and Twilight looked at me, clearly surprised and a little confused.

“Blade Star, what in the wide, wide realm of Equestria do you mean? Nothing can be bigger on the inside than the outside. That’s impossible!” Always one for a science demonstration, I rooted around the basement briefly, finding two small boxes Twilight used to store things, one bigger than the other.

“Which box is larger, Twilight?” She promptly pointed to the larger box. I levitated it and moved the box several paces away. Due to the forced perspective, the smaller box now appeared bigger. “Now which is larger?”

“Blade Star, the boxes haven’t changed sizes, you just moved the bigger one away,” Twilight replied, exasperated.

“Exactly, if you could keep them exactly that distance away and have 'em both here; the large one would fit inside the small one,” I explained.

“That’s silly,” Twilight replied, pouting.

“That’s trans-dimensional engineering; a key Time Lord discovery,” I countered. I then allowed Derpy to resume her tale.

She went on to talk about how she had stumbled into what I knew to be the TARDIS, she’d actually managed to operate a couple of the controls; luckily nothing important. Eventually, the Doctor had woken up and dragged himself back inside. She had no idea how he’d arrived and based on his actions nor did he. Mind you, the Doctor shouting at the TARDIS and hitting it with a hammer was not an unusual occurrence.

A few minutes later though, it seemed as if circumstances overtook him and panicking wildly, the Doctor had dragged Derpy out of the TARDIS just before it dematerialised. What puzzled me though was the way it left. It didn’t seem to take off in its usual fashion. Instead, it sounded something like a mix of a teleport spell and the time travelling spell Twilight had once utilised.

After that, the Doctor had briefly accepted the mailmare’s hospitality before eventually setting himself up in the clock shop. He’d obviously managed to track down the TARDIS, which he’d told me was about twenty years ahead of us. His plan now seemed to be to wait, and also start a family it seems. While the two of us promised Derpy we wouldn’t tell a soul about the details, I can say that she and the old Time Lord had, like AJ and I, fallen in love. Dinky had arrived a year later, though Derpy had told everyone that she was the result of her ex.

Speaking of her ex-husband let me be the first to say; if that son of Diamond Dog ever shows his face in Ponyville again, I swear to Celestia I’ll batter him from here to Dodge Junction. The way he left Derpy and what he did to her was unforgivable.

“Alright, Derpy,” I said at length. “Ah guess what Ah’ll do now is go and talk with him now about this, just to make sure there’s no trouble. Neither of us will say anythin’ ‘bout what you said either. Ah Pinkie Promise.” I elbowed Twilight to copy my motions. Derpy then went back upstairs to take her daughter back home, whilst Twilight and I set out for Time Turner’s shop. To quote an old human saying ‘Gotta see a man about a horse’.

It amazes me just how well Time Turner, as he now calls himself, has managed to fit into Ponyville in such a short space of time. Dinky was six or seven years old, so he’d been here about that long and most ponies around town recognised him as something of an institution. I couldn’t help but wonder how he’d managed to avoid detection himself for so long until I turned up.

The door at the front of the shop was open, swinging slightly on its hinge in the breeze. With an open sign sitting outside, the two of us trotted inside to look for him. Just like the last time I’d come here, my ears were quickly filled with a cacophony of ticking sounds, as dozens of clocks steadily counted off the seconds of the day. Looking at the register toward the back of the shop, I could not see the chestnut pony anywhere; I assumed he was in the back, working on something no doubt.

“Doctor? Ya in here?” I called. “It’s Blade Star. Ah need to talk to ya ‘bout somethin’.” I got a response quickly enough.

“Be right with you!” There then followed a series of small scale, well, explosions I suppose is the right word. A fair amount of smoke poured into the shop area making us cough as the acrid fumes worked into our throats. Eventually, the Doctor emerged, a sheepish look on his face.

“Erm, sorry about that. Things didn’t quite go to plan there. Just don’t breathe in the deadly, deadly fumes too deeply and you should be fine.”

“Doctor, we need to talk,” I said. Instantly, he dropped the previous slightly mad expression he had worn and replaced it with something far more dour looking.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to tell them about me. You Pinkie Promised!” he declared somewhat angrily, pointing an accusing hoof at me, evidently aware of the penalty for breaking one.

“Ah did no such thing. In fact that’s why Twilight and Ah are here. We know about Dinky; that’s how she found out.” The clockmaker’s eyes went wide as saucers, whilst his pupils shrunk to the size of pinpricks.

“Oh no,” he muttered. “No no no no no no no no no no no no no no! Not good, not good, in fact it’s the opposite of good it’s very bad!” He threw his front hooves up in the air. “How am I going to explain all this? Have you told those princesses yet? Argh, this planet isn’t ready for something like this!”

The renegade Time Lord continued to pace around anxiously going through all the possible negative consequences of his identity being known. However, this was getting us nowhere, and I was about to intervene, when Twilight beat me to it.

“Time Turner,” she said. Evidently, she preferred to call him by his Equestrian pseudonym. “I’m the only one aside from Blade Star who knows enough to understand what’s going on. Your identity is still safe, and unless you’re a threat to Equestria, I don’t see why I need to talk to the princess.” The Doctor relaxed somewhat. “However, we do need to talk about Dinky.”

A strange expression came over the Doctor’s features, one I’ve very rarely seen. For a brief moment, he let all the youthful madness drop away. He showed his age, I suppose you could say, something in his eyes, something that tells you he’s been around far longer than anypony else, with the exception of Celestia and Luna of course.

“My daughter,” he said quietly, nodding to himself. At this point, I stepped into the conversation again.

“We need to know about her, Doctor. Ah saw what happened with a Human/Time Lord hybrid. Ah don’t want to see the same thing happen to that filly.” I said, a hint of perhaps some misplaced paternal caring in my voice.

“She should be fine; she certainly won’t think herself to death. It’s something to do with the ‘magic’ that exists in this universe, it stabilised her, resolved the conflict between the two gene groups. She has my physiology and the mind of a Time Lord, but at the same time, she has the ability to access the energy sources in this place. What you, Twilight, call magic.”

“Can she regenerate?” I asked.

“No, though I sometimes wish she could. Murphy’s Law isn’t it; the one trait you’d like her to have she doesn’t. Still, it’s probably better for her in the long run. On the flip side though, I expect she’s about as sturdy as an earth pony.”

“Does she know about you?” He shook his head.

“She knows of me; she even comes to see me sometimes. But no, as far as she knows, her dad was mean old pegasus who skipped town before she was born. And I’d rather it stay that way if it’s all the same to you.” Cue Twilight Sparkle; lecturing mode.

“Time Turner! She’s your daughter, and from what Blade Star has told me, she’s the only other member of your species in existence!” That might not have been the best choice of words.

“Exactly,” he replied angrily. “As far as she knows, she a unicorn pony, born of two pegasi. She gets enough odd looks with that explanation. What do you think would happen if ponies knew the truth? I will not put my daughter through that.” He sighed, which came out as a snort, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know it isn’t ideal, but it’s best for Dinky. She’ll live out her life happy and content with ponies that love her.”

Twilight and I were silent for a while as the three of us stood in that humble, cosy little clock shop. Aside from his defence of Trenzalore and his temporary exile to Earth, this had to be the longest period of time the Doctor had stayed in one place. Perhaps that is why he’d become so settled. He’d hung up his spurs, so to speak. But he was still the Doctor, and all that that name entailed.

“What about you, Doctor? What about your happiness?” I asked him eventually.

“I have a daughter, whether or not she knows, I am still her father. I’m not alone, that’s good enough for me.”

That seemed to be that. One of the many things I’ve learned about the Doctor in my life is that he is perhaps one of the most stubborn beings in the universe. While it would have been a wonderful moment to see him and Dinky together as father and daughter, he had made his choice, and I wasn’t about to try and change that.

The matter was effectively closed for all intents and purposes. We knew Dinky would be perfectly safe and well looked after, and wouldn’t have to worry about any potential issues arising from her Time Lord DNA. That was why we went there. Twilight and I then left him and his clocks, which I honestly think is how he prefers it. Without the TARDIS, he doesn’t really have anywhere else to go and brood in peace.

As we headed back to the library, Twilight probed me for titbits of information on Ponyville’s other extra-Equestrian inhabitant. I told her a few things here and there, but a lot of the more major issues I steered clear of. I certainly mentioned nothing about the fall of Arcadia or the last Time War. I merely gave her a little bit of background. The pony she knew as Time Turner had, like her, saved the world on numerous occasions and until his arrival had travelled time and space in a borrowed time machine which was currently AWOL.

When we returned to the library, Twilight handed off the various notes she had taken to Spike, asking him to file them away in the restricted section of the library. She then promised me that she would keep this whole affair an internal secret. It didn’t affect Equestria’s safety, so nopony else needed to know. With that, she said she’d see me again come Monday for magic lessons.

As I wound my way back up that well-trod path to the farmhouse, I spotted little Apple Bloom playing fetch with Winona. The filly had managed to find herself a decent sized stick, and with surprising strength (or perhaps not surprising considering she’s an earth pony) was throwing it in all directions for Winona to find and retrieve. I remembered doing something similar with a dog my sister’s godmother had; only problem was, he’d never get bored.

I stopped in my travels to watch the pair for a while. Apple Bloom was a great kid. She always worked hard in school and she always did her bit on the farm to boot. In five or six years, she’d probably be helping AJ, Big Mac and me during Applebuck Season. Again, the strange paternal feeling I had felt before came up. Perhaps Cadence’s love magic had worked too well; at any rate, I was no longer seeing her as just AJ’s little sister. Hay, on more than one occasion it had been a race between me and Big Mac to go and comfort her when she’d come home upset about something.

I was promptly startled out of my brief stint of pony watching as Winona, who’d evidently noticed me, came bounding up to see if I would join in. The small collie barked happily as she all but threw herself at me, nearly bowling me over as she began to lick at me affectionately.

“Alright, Winona, alright; ya got me,” I said, laughing as I gently pushed the collie off of my chest. Apple Bloom followed her canine companion to me as well, adding her own, slightly less insane greeting.

“Hey, Blade Star. Ah was wonderin where ya were. Applejack said somethin’ ‘bout you goin’ off with Spike.” I smiled and ruffled the filly’s mane for a moment, another odd paternal quirk I’ve been developing.

“Oh he was just worried ‘bout Twilight is all, AB. Ya know how she can get sometimes.” Apple Bloom giggled, either at me ruffling her mane or my poking fun at Princess Twilight.

Winona promptly interrupted our little conversation; no one had thrown the stick for her in the last ten seconds. Surely that was far too long for a clever working dog such as herself. Never one to turn down an opportunity for a bit of fun, I picked the stick up in my magic.

“Alright, Winona, watch the stick now,” I said, waving it around in front of her vision. The collie’s head and tail twitched in excitement. “Ready, ready, and go fetch!” Using a fair bit of my energy, I hurled the stick with magical kinetic force sending it flying over the tree line. Instantly, Winona was after it, yapping at the prospect of her imminent ‘kill’. Apple Bloom and I went at a steady canter after her.

“Gosh, Blade Star. Ah wish Ah could throw it that far!” she exclaimed as the stick fell into the tall grass ahead.

“Oh, you will be able to one day, AB. Look at your sister, she can do that with apples, never mind little sticks,” I replied.

Incidentally, fun fact; while Big Mac is naturally stronger than me by a fair margin, it might surprise you to know that even with all the work I do here on the farm, AJ is still significantly stronger than me. I’ve tried a dozen times and I’ve never managed to beat her in hoof wrestling. I’m not quite sure how to feel about that.

Winona eventually came hurrying back to us; stick in her mouth with her tail wagging. She promptly deposited her catch at our hooves; evidently more play time was required. And that pretty much sums up what Apple Bloom and I did until supper time.

Interlude 9 - Earning My Wings

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My brother has never really talked much about his ‘change’. I’ve sort of gotten used to how he is now, a pony I mean. It’s probably always going to be a little weird that I tower over my older brother by a clear foot and a half and that we aren’t the same species. Never mind how he’s not even the same species as Mum and Dad. If somepony asks me if I have siblings, I tell them yes and point to Blade Star, as he now calls himself. I usually get a few odd looks for that.

Regardless of all that though, I never really wondered what it must be like for my big brother. When I woke up here, I had two blessings; I had my mum and dad by my side and I was still me. Not even Twilight has been able to give a decent explanation as to why it happened, but my brother only got one of those turns of good luck. Everypony has gotten used to it now though. Hell, Dad says he might even be hooking up with Applejack soon enough. I’m still not sure what to make of that yet. But, he’s in a completely different body; different limbs, nose, ears, eyes, not to mention the medium size horn sticking out of his head. I could never understand how he coped with it all.

As it turned out though, circumstances conspired against me to see that I did.

It was now well into springtime, tomorrow it would be the first of April. Luckily neither I nor Fluttershy liked pranking ponies; Fluttershy even had a general exemption with Pinkie Pie so she wouldn’t prank her, knowing that it might upset her, even if it was meant to be a bit of harmless fun. Me though, I was fair game as far as Pinkie and Rainbow were concerned, so I would have to be on my guard.

I was just finishing setting out the insects for the local bats, and the occasional scraps of meat for the foxes and other night time scavengers when Fluttershy called me from inside the cottage.

“Lizzie!” she called, at a volume unusually high for her. “Can you come back here a moment; there’s somepony I want you to meet.”

Setting down a few more scraps as well as a few old eggs from Fluttershy’s little flock of chickens I began to make my way back. I’m no scaredy cat, but I don’t like being outside, so close to the Everfree Forest after dark. My brother says it’s kind of like a forest on Earth, but in the time I’ve lived here with Fluttershy, I’ve seen some seriously screwed up things come out of there. So, you’ll forgive me if I say I hurried back. I found Fluttershy still standing in the doorway when I got there.

“Hey, Fluttershy, what’s up?” I asked as I walked through the little picket fence. Fluttershy noticeably brightened up as I approached, she flapped her wings a couple of times to bring herself closer to eye level with me. It makes chatting easier and being a pegasus, I guess it’s natural behaviour for her.

“I just thought I should let you know, a friend of mine has dropped by and asked if he could spend the night here. I didn’t want you to be startled by bumping into him without any warning.” I was surprised; I didn’t know Fluttershy had any guy friends. Maybe she wasn’t quite as meek as she thought she was.

“Oh, okay, sure,” I replied. “I guess he’s taking the couch then?” Fluttershy nodded just as the kettle began to whistle in the kitchen.

“Oh, I had better get that. Why don’t you go and introduce yourself to him. He’s a really friendly guy once you get to know him. Just don’t let his,” she paused to think of the right word. “Eccentric nature put you off.” I furrowed my brow at that.

“Right, if you say so, Flutters. What’s his name?”

“Discord.”

I’d heard about Discord from my brother, my dad as well as a few of the ponies. By all accounts he was something of a mixed bag. My brother tried to describe his personality to me once, but he kept going on and on about that Star Trek show he likes. I mean, what the hell is a Q when it’s at home? Twilight gave me a better idea, saying he was a bit of a trickster as well as a powerful magic user. She also said he could be annoying as hell at times, but he’d recently undergone a reformation of sorts. Looking through her history books, this Discord had once upon a time been a major threat to Equestria.

But in spite of this, I like to approach new people, or ponies, with an open mind. And to be fair, it is kind of easy to get the male side of our family mad. My brother can be really uptight sometimes and Dad only finds pranks and jokes funny if he’s not on the receiving end. Besides, we’d have to get along if the three of us were going to be together in such a confined space.

I headed on into the small living room that acted as the main area for Fluttershy’s animal care. Now, one thing I must stress is that at no point had anypony told me about Discord physically. I knew all about his history and his personality; but nopony told me what he looked like. So you’ll cut me some slack if I say I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw him reclining on the sofa.

I was expecting a pony. What I got was a pony, and also a goat, and also a lizard, and also a bird. He looked like the result of a zoo being involved in a car crash. And that didn’t even consider those creepy mismatched eyes, never mind that he was even taller than Princess Celestia. Still, best foot forward.

“Hi, you must be Discord,” I said, trying to keep the nervousness out of my voice. “I’m Lizzie.” Discord looked up.

“Ah yes, Fluttershy told me she had a roommate these days,” he said, looking up from his restive position. “Permit me to introduce myself; I am Discord. Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, though at present I’m trying out this new ‘reformed’ gig to see how it goes.”

I don’t think there’s any answer to that. He carried on anyway with his introduction.

“Fluttershy was actually the one good enough to show me a little bit of kindness after I was released from my previous ‘incarceration’. So, I drop by here every now and again to say hi. And of course to have a little fun.” He chortled to himself. “Ponyville is a veritable gold mine this time of year. But enough about me, do tell me about yourself, Lizzie. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting your brother and your father on a few occasions now, but you female humans have previously eluded me.”

I wasn’t exactly aware how I had ‘eluded’ Discord. I’d not left Ponyville since we got settled here after returning from Canterlot. I quickly reminded myself of one of Twilight’s notes on him; he loved to talk in riddles and mess with peoples’ heads.

“Well, I’ve been living with Fluttershy here pretty much since we all turned up in Equestria. I do my bit to help out with the animals and I chip in when I can,” I replied. “Still, some stuff Fluttershy has to do for herself. Like, she has to make trips to Cloudsdale sometimes, and I can’t follow her up there without a balloon. But I do what I can here on the ground; it sure makes Fluttershy’s workload a lot lighter.”

Discord listened with what seemed to be extreme interest. He had leaned back into the sofa and had formed his talon and paw together in a steeple, as if he was thinking about something really deeply.

“Yes, I suppose you are somewhat restricted,” he said, still thinking with his eyes closed. “Even a more ground favouring pegasus like Fluttershy does need to go places nopony else can from time to time. Though I suppose you could ask your newest princess to cast a cloud walking spell for you. Not a problem for me though, as chaotic as I am, even I have to resort to the magic of flight from time to time.”

Discord then began to sort of float in the air in front of me. Seeing such a large and ungainly being fly so stably was kind of unsettling. On his back, I could see a pair of wings, one from a typical bird, quite similar to a pegasus wing, and another that looked like it belonged on a small dragon. Eventually, after this demonstration ended, he settled himself back down.

“Ah, flying is truly a remarkable experience, Lizzie,” he paused and cracked open an eye to look at me, as if he expected me to do or say something in response.

“I’m content to stay on the ground thank you very much,” I replied. “Besides, it’s not like I’m about to sprout wings or anything. Hell, I’m not even totally sure how Fluttershy can fly, never mind you; the pair of you have wings that are far too small.” Discord opened his mouth to respond, but I cut him off. “And don’t say ‘it’s magic’; that doesn’t count.”

At this point Fluttershy came back in to say that dinner was ready. The three of us sat down together to eat in the kitchen. Discord had certainly come across as odd, but I hadn’t seen anything that everypony else had been complaining about. He came across as an okay guy, weird yes, but still okay.

A while after dinner, Fluttershy and I headed off to bed, whilst Discord said he wanted to stay up a little while longer to and I quote ‘work on a couple of projects’. This confused both of us a little, but since we could find no apparent malign intent in what he had said, Fluttershy simply asked him to make sure he worked quietly and didn’t disturb any of her animals that also slept in the various houses that adorned the living room. The two of us went to bed, expecting tomorrow to be just another day.

From the moment I woke up the next morning, I knew something wasn’t quite right. I felt stiff and ached, as if I’d not slept in a comfortable bed at all. All my limbs were slow to respond like I’d slept on them, and in general, I felt as if I was made of jelly.

Eventually, I managed to roll myself over onto my front and I moved to use my arms to push myself up. Normally, I had to be careful when I rolled in my bed. Whilst it was long enough to accommodate my larger frame, due to the size of our shared bedroom, it had to be thinner than you’d expect from a typical bed. What I’d just done should have sent me tumbling down onto the floor.

Pushing up with my arms, I managed to get my upper half off the mattress. Here was the first big indicator something was wrong; I couldn’t feel my knees, at all. My legs didn’t seem to be bending properly; I’d get partially up and then be unable to move without pain. For a horrifying moment, I thought my legs were broken or something equally silly. Huffing and puffing from my unusually difficult exertion, I looked down and saw the first truly weird thing. My arms were both teal coloured.

I think my brother, internally, had a similar reaction to what he saw when he first woke up in Equestria. I calmly followed the strange teal limb back up to my chest, which was now also teal coloured. Looking back, I found the reason my legs weren’t functioning; they were now hind legs and not designed to bend the way bipedal ones are. Beyond those was a brunette coloured tail. Finally, I briefly crossed my eyes and found a short rounded muzzle where my nose had once been.

With that little inspection completed, I proceeded to do the most logical, calm and rational thing I could think to do at the time. I screamed like a little girl.

I’m fairly certain the entire animal population, as one, bolted out of the cottage when I started screaming. Hell, I was trying to bolt, as the fear hit me, I began to sort of backpedal on the bed, getting myself tangled up in the sheets and quickly falling onto my back.

The only being who didn’t run for the hills at my outburst was Fluttershy. She shot out of bed probably at a speed faster than Rainbow Dash and quickly came to see what the matter was. By this point, my panicking had resulted in me covering myself with the bed sheets completely.

“Lizzie?! Lizzie?! What is it? What’s the matter?” Fluttershy called as I continued to scream wildly. The probably equally frightened mare quickly began to push aside my coverings and quickly pulled me into a hug. “Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay; I’m here.” I finally stopped screaming and quietened down to a frightened whimper. Releasing me from her hug, she actually now had a chance to look at me. Somehow her butter yellow coat grew even paler and her pupils shrank to the size on pinpricks.

We both sat there for a few minutes, each of us completely shocked at what we were seeing. It seemed that whatever had happened to my brother had now happened to me. I was damn scared. I didn’t mind the ponies, but I didn’t want to be one of them. Okay, sure, at times, being one of only three humans on the planet can be a little inconvenient, but it was who I was. The two of us just sat there, until eventually, Fluttershy managed to summon up the courage to say something.

“You’re….you’re a pegasus,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. My own eyes widened at that.

I turned my head around to look down along my back. Sure enough, along with my newly acquired teal coat was a pair of equally teal wings. After a short while trying to find the various muscles, I managed to get them to open slowly. They were about the size of normal pegasi wings and presumably, worked. I didn’t dare try to flap them though; I didn’t know the first thing about flying.

Having made this discovery, I became curious as to what I actually looked like now. Fluttershy and I slowly made our way over to the large mirror that sat in the corner of the room. It took a fair bit of effort. Just like my brother, I wasn’t used to being a quadruped and walking was very difficult. I leant on Fluttershy for support and she eventually managed to help me find the natural rhythm. Looking in them mirror; I had the first chance to fully examine myself.

I was about the same size and proportion as Fluttershy was, not surprising considering we were both young adults. My build was slightly thicker than hers, but not that noticeably. My wings however, looked well maintained and quite similar to Rainbow’s. Since Fluttershy didn’t fly much, and was a fairly weak flyer by her own admission, it was to be expected. I also now of course, had a mane and tail, both of which were a very dark brown colour. Aside from the slight bedhead, (or should that be bedmane now?) my new hair was fairly similar to how I usually styled it. It was quite long like Fluttershy’s but noticeably thicker and fuller. In contrast, my tail was much shorter and didn’t trail on the floor. I then looked to my, erm, flank.

“Hey, what do you make of this, Fluttershy?” I said. Fluttershy tuned from the mirror to look.

“Oh, you have a cutie mark too,” she said. I examined the mark more closely.

It was certainly an odd sort of thing. It was a small musical note, connected to it was a pair of silver wings. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. My brother had woken up with his cutie mark, and he wasn’t really sure what it meant, though he liked to say it meant he was good at protecting others. This though, I had no idea. A note obviously represented music, but the wings seemed out of place. As I continued to stare at my own rear end, Fluttershy spoke up.

“We had better go and see Twilight,” she said. “I’m sure she’ll have some way to reverse this.” She then paused to nuzzle me comfortingly. As we headed downstairs, we found Discord had left a note, explaining that he’d gone to sort out a few things. I wondered why he hadn’t come up to see what was going on. I certainly knew he wouldn’t have bolted out of the house with all the animals, except Angel, of course. Since he knew a fair bit about magic, he’d probably be able to help too

We managed to get to the library without too much trouble, although I did get the odd stare since nopony had seen me before. Fluttershy and I reached the library a little bit after nine. Spike had just stepped out to switch the sign on the door. He spotted the two of us as we walked up.

“Hey Fluttershy,” he called out. “Who’s your friend?” Fluttershy looked about uneasily. Deciding to skip the explanation, I just spoke.

“Hi Spike,” I said. He instantly recognised my voice and his reptilian eyes went wide. Eyes going wide seemed to be a recurring theme today. “I think I need to talk to Twilight.” The perplexed little dragon promptly led the two of us inside and called Twilight away from her early morning study session. He returned dragging her down the stairs.

“Twilight, you’re not gonna believe this,” I could hear him saying. “Lizzie’s turned into a pegasus, just like that!” The response was immediate. A bright flash appeared in front of us and the lavender alicorn appeared directly in front of us.

“She’s what?!” she exclaimed.

With some effort, we managed to get Twilight to disregard the incredibly fascinating nature of this happening and got her to examine me. She cast a few spells on me and performed what she called a ‘magical source inversion scan’. At first she thought I might be an imposter and looked for any magic that might allow that, but having proved I was who I claimed to be, she set about trying to determine the cause of my transformation.

We all sat there for another ten minutes whilst Twilight worked until we were all interrupted by another arrival in the library.

Like Twilight, my brother came in via teleport. I expected at first he’d dropped by for his usual magic lessons with Twilight. Over the past few months he’d gotten pretty good at quite a few spells. He still said he couldn’t hold a candle to Twilight when she had been a unicorn, but he claimed he could certainly trump somepony called Trixie. As soon as he arrived though it became clear that he also needed help. His desperate cries for help were something of a giveaway.

“Twilight! Get them off!” he wailed. “Get them off! Get them off! Get them off! Get them off! Get them off!” He was flailing around desperately and seemed to be almost attacking himself. His back legs were furiously scratching against his sides, and every now and then he turned his head and tried to snap at himself. This went on until Twilight ran of patience and seized him in her magical grasp, holding him still and somehow zipped his mouth shut.

“Blade Star what in the name of Celestia are you on about?” she exclaimed. Quite suddenly though, she gasped out loud, as did Fluttershy and released him, causing to land on his head on the library floor.

My transformation, to my mind at least, was a pretty major one. I’d switched species, switched diets and gained the ability to fly presumably. However, Twilight seemed far more surprised and perhaps slightly mortified at the extremely minor change my brother had undergone.

I mean, they were only wings.

Chapter 60 - And Then There Were Two

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I landed on the library’s solid hardwood floor with a resounding thud. Turning overnight into one of the most rare and powerful species of pony tends to shock ponies I suppose. It certainly shocked Twilight, who in her surprise had released me from her magical grip. Not that this improved my current situation in the slightest.

I’d woken up that morning same as always, ready to work and earn my keep. Something however, had felt off, just a little out of place. You know, like that feeling when you get something stuck in the treads of your shoes and it causes you discomfort. Anyway, I’d initially disregarded it, putting it down to my odd sleeping position (for some reason I’d woken half out of the covers) and the strange, vivid dream that had plagued me last night. You can imagine my surprise though, when whilst stretching my legs to get the blood flowing, I accidently stretched a third set of limbs. I took one look and lost my head.

I need not go over the massive reaction the last time somepony ascended, but that was beside the point. What mattered was that I now had a significantly increased magical potential with fairly limited training. That made me a potential danger. That and I despised the idea of becoming an alicorn; so stu-ish.

In my panic, I did what I thought best at the time; remove the wings. I somehow got it into my head that if I removed the wings, everything would be just fine. Thus I began to use a variety of foalish methods, up to and including taking running snatches at myself. Naturally, the loud noise level coming from my room attracted everypony else in the house. And Applejack soon burst in to see what the matter was.

“Bones? What in the name of Celestia’s goin’ on here?” she exclaimed as she entered to find me on the floor attempting to chew my own new wings off like some sort of trapped coyote. Like Twilight later did, she too gasped in shock and quite surprisingly, froze up. After a short while, I ran out of adrenaline and energy and ceased trying to attack myself. I lay on the floor of my room, breathing heavily.

“Honestly, ‘Jack, Ah have absolutely no idea.” It was at this point I had a brief moment of clarity. Twilight was an alicorn and an expert on magic; she’d used transformation magic too; surely she would have some way to reverse this. “Twilight,” was all I muttered to myself before casting a quick, and significantly easier, teleport spell and getting myself to the library. No doubt leaving a severely confused Applejack and Apple family in my wake.

Thus I was now in the library, having been calmed down by Twilight after my less than subtle arrival. As it turned out though, I was not the only one who had undergone changes. Across the room from me, sitting next to a very worried looking Fluttershy, was a teal coloured pegasus who, by all accounts, was my little sister. She too had woken up altered. Twilight had spent most of her morning consequently scanning, analysing and generally poking and prodding the two of us in an effort to understand what had happened.

After a fair amount of time had passed, Twilight concluded her entirely ethical, legal and moral experiments on the two of us. She’d consulted over twenty separate tomes on various forms of magic, including one sealed book on the intricacies of alicorn ascension. So secret in fact that not even a Pinkie Promise would allow me access. Eventually, she set aside her various research materials and turned to the two of us.

“Well, Twilight? Can you fix this?” Lizzie asked, worry still clear in her voice. Fluttershy walked over to her. Twilight had previously shooed her off when she kept getting defensive around Lizzie. It was painfully obvious that maternal instinct was at work. With her experiments complete though, she allowed the Element of Kindness near her charge again.

“Lizzie, don’t you worry ‘bout a thing,” I said. “Twilight knows more ‘bout magic than anypony in Equestria, except maybe the princesses.” Twilight blushed a little at the complement before answering.

“Well, you two will be happy to know that it is all completely reversible. Blade Star, your change is a very simple fix. You aren’t actually an alicorn. Whatever happened merely increased your magical capacity, rather than giving you actual alicorn magic. You’re really just a very powerful unicorn with wings.” She promptly lit her horn up and surrounded me in her magical aura. A cocoon of sorts began to form around me.

“Hey, hey, Twilight! You mind explainin’ what you’re doin’?” I was somewhat uncomfortable around large, pony sized cocoons, particularly ones that were rapidly enveloping me.

“Just relax, Blade Star,” she replied. “This is a reversal of the flight spell I used on Rarity. It should remove the wings and I’ve modified it to siphon off the increased magical capacity. Though I still don’t see why you want to do that.”

“Alright, never mind that, just get on with it,” I said as the magic fully enveloped me.

Everything went dark for a moment, and I felt a peculiar tingling sensation move along my back. Slowly, the feeling in my new appendages began to disappear, first just in the feathers, but before long, I could no longer feel the muscles in my back. A similar feeling then spread to my horn before it too dissipated. I was then promptly released back into daylight and lowered to the ground. This time though, Twilight had the courtesy to give me a graceful landing.

“Well, did it work?” I asked. Twilight held up a small mirror. Much to my delight, I found myself to be a unicorn once again. And I was damn glad for it. I had no desire to become royalty and I had already experimented in high level magic; it is something I’d rather not trifle with. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Ah, praise Luna,” I muttered to myself. “Right now do Lizzie then, Twilight.” While Lizzie too had calmed down after the initial shock of waking up as an equine, she was still dead set on returning to being human. She said it was interesting and kind of cool to be a pegasus, but it wasn’t her. However, her reversal proved more problematic.

“There’s a slight problem with Lizzie’s procedure I’m afraid,” she said. “We can turn her back into her human form, but I’ll need to contact Celestia to do it.”

“Why?” Lizzie asked, somewhat annoyed. “You just changed my brother back. Why not me?” Twilight thought for a moment.

“While it was a major change, Lizzie, he was still a pony. Changing someone’s entire species is much more difficult. Usually, it would be a transformation spell; I can easily do that. But to do it, I need to know what I’m changing a pony into, and I don’t know enough about humans to reliably turn you back to the way you were.” She furrowed her brows and turned to me. “Plus, I may need her help dealing with a more serious problem. Blade Star, perform a scan of Lizzie’s magic. Since she’s now a pegasus, there should be passive flight magic naturally, but there’s something else there too. Can you find it? I picked it up on you as well.”

Never one to turn away a chance to practice a useful skill, I fired up my own horn and began to use one of the spells Twilight had previously used on us both. I steadily moved my horn around the area it which my little sister sat, in a manner similar to how one would act when using a tricorder.

“Right,” I said as I examined her, my eyes closed. “There’s her innate flight magic. Ah can just about make out the remnant of magic from her cutie mark and…” I paused; there was something out of place. “Hang on, there something else, hidden away. High level magic. It’s not alicorn or dark magic.” I felt my head spin as I attempted to ‘touch’ this foreign source. “Chaos magic!”

In an instant Twilight and I, as one, threw back our heads and called out to high heaven.

“Discord!”

Said draconequus promptly appeared before us, either by virtue of listening in on our conversation with his impressive magical ability, or much more likely, by hiding in the other room the entire time.

“Yes, Princess?” he asked with false reverence in his voice. “Can I be of some help?” Twilight gestured to my younger sister, a frown etched on her features. The wizened old prankster’s eyebrows went up.

“Oh my, and then there were two,” he said, chuckling. “How about I put you in touch with a good flight instructor I know, Lizzie?” My sister shot him an irritated look

It was then I noticed something odd about Discord’s behaviour; assuming you can define anything he does as being ‘odd’ when he is so chaotic and unpredictable by nature. Both his talon and his paw were being held behind his back, and he’d kept himself very still, not turning or sidling about as he usually does.

“Do you have something behind your back, Discord?” I asked. He instantly became defensive.

“What? Me? No, of course not. Why would I have anything behind my back? It’s not like I’ve done anything.” Having put up with the spirit of chaos for so long, I could tell he was firstly, lying and secondly, wanted me to know that he was lying and to find something out. Both Twilight and I were certain he had something to do with it, based on the magical signature anyway, so I took the bait.

I promptly levitated the draconequus off the library floor. He didn’t put up any kind of resistance to my comparatively meagre magic. Turning him around in mid-air, we all saw he was holding two things behind his back. Firstly, a box marked wings, which was probably where my own wings had come from. And oddly enough, he was also carrying a small tube of superglue. To his credit, Discord does have a knack for cartoon jokes. I imagine he’d be quite at home in the world of Looney Tunes.

“Why am I not surprised?” Twilight said, more than a little annoyance creeping into her voice. I released Discord and he promptly began to flap his wings, keeping himself airborne.

“You can hardly blame me for this,” he objected hotly. “It’s not my fault that today is what it is.” It then dawned on me what the date was; April 1st, April Fools Day; a day for pranksters and clowns like Discord to play tricks on unsuspecting ponies as well as the occasional human.

“That’s what this is about? You somehow turned me into a damn alicorn as a practical joke? And Lizzie too?” I paused to breathe and began to pace around the library. “No, you know what; Ah’m not even surprised anymore.” If it was still possible, I would have thrown up my arms in frustration. Fluttershy then entered the conversation

“Discord, can you turn please turn Lizzie back into a human for me? She doesn’t really enjoy it and you know your pranks upset me sometimes.” Adding a signature ‘d’awww’ face to this statement seemed enough to sway the spirit of chaos. He groaned in annoyance at his fun being cut short.

“Oh, very well Fluttershy. For you.” He then snapped his talons and Lizzie was engulfed in the signature white light. When she emerged however, she was not human, she was still a pegasus. I turned back to Discord.

“Discord, Ah don’t know how you do things, but where Ah come from, when ya say you’re gonna do something, ya do it!” Confusion clear on his face, Discord repeated the exercise. Again though, Lizzie didn’t change back.

“Alright, what’s going on?” Twilight asked after the fifth attempt by the draconequus ended in the same result. Discord’s ears folded back on his head and I could almost swear he was blushing from embarrassment.

“Ah, well, erm, you see Twilight,” he began. “When I pulled this, actually quite difficult, prank last night, I may have made it resistant to magic for its natural duration.”

“What!” Twilight snapped. “You mean you can’t turn her back?!” Even Discord could tell the dangerous waters he was now swimming in.

“No, no,no,no I can turn her back, just not until, erm, next week” he replied, covering his face with his arms, attempting to shield himself from the now very angry little alicorn. Twilight facehoofed at his response. And called over Spike.

“Hang on,” I said. “If you locked the spell, then how come Twilight changed me back?”

“Oh, your little change was just a joke, dear boy,” Discord replied. “But I happened to get into a conversation with Lizzie last night and the subject of flying came up.”

“And I told you, I’d rather stay on the ground,” Lizzie replied hotly.

“True, but I figured that if you were going to dismiss flying, you should at least try it first. You never know, you might enjoy being a pony. I know for a fact it will get you closer to that nice fellow…”

“Enough!” Twilight snapped as she set down the various tomes she was studying. Taking a moment to perform her breathing exercise she turned to Spike.

“Spike, take a letter.” She quickly summarised the situation to Celestia and asked her to come down to Ponyville as soon as she could to see if she could reverse whatever Discord had done. I meanwhile, now free of my own affliction, set off to my parents’ house to tell them what had happened.

My parents’ reaction was a little unusual. Having seen their only son turned into a small four foot tall equine, their reaction to the news that the same had temporarily affected their daughter was quite subdued. They were both naturally surprised, but as soon as I mentioned Discord, my father in particular seemed to adopt a vague air of acceptance. After all, while it was irritating, nothing about what Discord had done carried any evil intent. Hay, on the walk to the house, I’d begun to regret my decision to part with my own wings so quickly.

They both followed me back to the library, my mother outright refused to let me attempt to teleport her, and they briefly discussed the situation with Twilight. At the end of the day, Lizzie was in no immediate danger. She wouldn’t have to change her diet, considering she’d done her best to mimic the local fare quite well, and there was nothing preventing her from living with Fluttershy. Twilight even suggested that if Lizzie wanted to, Rainbow Dash, who had been Twilight’s instructor, could probably teach her the basics of flight over the course of the next week. She also assured everypony that by this time next week, the spell would naturally degrade and stop functioning, turning Lizzie back to normal.

Celestia had also promptly replied to Twilight’s letter. While she was (like everypony else) a little annoyed with Discord, she saw no immediate issue. However, she also said that she (along with a few of her guards) would come down to Ponyville tomorrow afternoon to touch base.

With everything settled, Lizzie and Fluttershy returned to the cottage and my parents returned to their home. Even Twilight was content to get back to her studying while Spike returned to his comics. Standing alone in the library, it dawned on me that I had not seen Applejack or any of the Apple family since my panic filled departure that morning. I quickly charged my horn and teleported back to the front gates of Sweet Apple Acres. Being returned to normal again, my range had naturally been reduced. I set off at a fast gallop back to the house.

Reaching the farmhouse, I found Granny Smith happily reclining on the porch. Either she was unaware of what had happened this morning, or she was having one of her ‘moments’, as she didn’t seemed that fussed when I approached.

“Well hey there, Bones. Ah was wonderin’ where ya had gotten to,” she said as she placed her glasses on her snout.

“Hey Granny,” I replied simply. “You seen Applejack or Big Mac anywhere? Ah figure Ah should let ‘em know Ah’m back.” She told me that both of them had been working steadily away at the brambles all day, a difficult task. I quickly thanked her and set off to find the two of them.

In the end it wasn’t that hard to find them, as the sound of their labours could be heard easily, as could Mac’s light cursing every time one of the parasitic plants nicked him. I made use of my somewhat improved ability to teleport and appeared before the pair a little out of breath, but otherwise none the worse for wear. Both of their heads shot up when I popped in, if you’ll excuse the expression.

Now, bearing in mind that I’d been gone for most of the day with little to no explanation, and previously having had wings strapped to my back, I was expecting a welcome from AJ similar to when I returned from my ‘chat’ with Big Mac. What I got was smack to the head.

“Ow! Son of a…” I exclaimed as her hoof connected. Applejack had never looked madder in her life.

“Bones, ya had me worried sick all day!” she exclaimed half in anger and half in relief. As I sat there nursing the side of my head, she pulled me into a hug. Releasing me, she continued her semi-angry questioning. “What in the name of Celestia herself happened to ya? Last Ah saw you’d sprouted wings.” She then pulled me into another, tighter hug. I couldn’t help but feel Big Mac’s gaze lock on to the two of us. Eventually, I managed to pry her loose and explain what had happened.

“So Lizzie’s stuck as a pony for the week?” Applejack asked in amazement.

“Pretty much. Princess Celestia’s coming down tomorrow to see if she can reverse it, but Ah reckon we’re gonna be stuck with her pony form until the week is up. Still, ten bits says RD will jump at the change to give her flyin’ lessons. Anyway, Ah’m sorry Ah had y’all so worried this mornin’. But how come y’all didn’t come to the library? Ah could’ve sworn I mentioned Twilight’s name just before Ah left.”

“We were all worried, Bones,” AJ replied. “But Ah don’t recall ya sayin’ much. Ya just upped and disappeared. Ah sent AB and the Crusaders to look for ya in town, but Ah guess they got distracted. It’s not that Ah don’t care ‘bout ya though.” I cracked a smile.

“Oh come on ‘Jack. Ah don’t need you gallivantin’ all ‘cross Equestria to know that.” AJ blushed a little, though it could have been the evening sunlight in reality. “Come on, Ah’ll help y’all finish up here. Least Ah can do.”

I spent the rest of the afternoon with AJ and Big Mac effectively doing the garden, though on a much grander scale. Brambles were nasty little buggers and took a fair amount of force to pull them loose. In the end, we settled on trimming them back as far as the orchard fence line and see how they responded. Most plants responded well to a good trim in the spring after all.

I couldn’t help but feel a fair amount of concern for my little sister. She wasn’t in any real danger, but I knew that the whole ordeal so far had shook her up a fair bit, even if she wouldn’t admit it. I briefly contemplated the idea of her staying in her current form. While Mom and Dad had each other and I, possibly, had Applejack, Lizzie was somewhat lonesome at the moment. Sure she had a friend and a sort of mother figure in Fluttershy, but she had no love interest in her life. In human form it would be unlikely anypony would be interested, but if she remained a pony.

I shook my head; that was none of my business in any case. If she wanted to be a human she could be. She seemed perfectly happy as she was and, unlike certain someponies, I didn’t feel compelled to interfere.

Chapter 61 - A Matter of Honour

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It was just before noon the next day when Princess Celestia and her entourage arrived. She’d written back to Twilight the following day, promising that she would come to Ponyville as soon as she was able to, in an attempt to reverse what Discord had done to my little sister as some sort of misguided practical joke. Her chariot, pulled by two pegasus guards, touched down just in front of the library as she said they would. However, the solar diarch was not alone.

In addition to the two guards that had hauled her chariot across the sky from far off Canterlot, she also had two of her senior and seasoned guards with her. Captains Shining Armor and Strong Shield had accompanied her. Why I wasn’t quite sure.

We, that is, myself, the Elements, Lizzie and my parents, promptly bowed to the snow white alicorn, with the exception of course of Twilight. Even now I think she finds it strange that her former mentor views her as an equal. She still could not resist going over to hug her though.

As for me, I was somewhat uncomfortable at the moment. My last meeting with Strong Shield had been decidedly unpleasant. For him, not for me. For Celestia’s sake, I’d all but strangled him in some god-forsaken dungeon beneath Canterlot castle. Twilight had been bugging me to get back in contact with him, but until now I’d put it off. I had no problem with the changeling turned Royal Guard, but I figured he probably took issue with me. I couldn’t help but feel ashamed for what I’d done to him, and I didn’t expect that he’d ever truly forgive me.

As he and Shining disembarked, he quickly spotted me amongst the group of assembled ponies and humans. He didn’t react that much, as his guard training dictated, but his eyes definitely locked with my own for an instant. He definitely wanted to talk.

Finally, there was my little sister, who had now been a pegasus for a little over a day and a half. After Twilight had gotten a response from Celestia, she had relaxed noticeably. Her behaviour had been similar to my own shortly after my transformation; a mixture subdued shock and an interest in her new abilities. Rainbow was apparently planning to give her a few basic lessons and take her up to Cloudsdale sometime this week.

Now Lizzie had learnt a fair bit about her new form, mainly from Fluttershy over the past day or so. She’d gotten walking down easily enough and could now go at a steady trot. She could even open and close her wings at will now. However, one thing that Fluttershy and everypony else had neglected to tell her, was the issue surrounding pegasi wings, and an affliction which only affected males in most species.

As Shining Armor stepped out, Lizzie quickly began to, well, check him out I suppose is the right word. It was nothing serious; just puppy love, but she’d been doing it pretty much since she first met him back in Canterlot. As a human, there had been little to indicate this. As a pegasus though, the results were…unfortunate.

*POMF*

And with that, Twilight’s little welcoming lost any semblance of sanity. Dash and I lost it and began laughing like hyenas in an effort to hide our own embarrassment. Twilight and Rarity blushed madly, whilst poor Fluttershy almost fainted. Lizzie and my parents; who were of course unaware of the implications of what was happening, were dumbstruck. Celestia, being a paragon of self-control, aside from some slight sniggering on the other hand, merely cleared her throat to get attention and spoke.

“Perhaps we should continue this discussion inside the library, Twilight?” she offered, doing her upmost to wipe the grin from her face. Then Lizzie went and made the whole situation even funnier.

“Hey Twilight, what’s wrong with my wings?” Even a glare from my mother couldn’t stop my laughter.

With that, incident out of the way, we all settled ourselves in the main hall of Golden Oaks library. Celestia had Lizzie sit herself down in the middle of the room and like Twilight had done, began to scan her with her magic. Just as I had done, she noticeably winced upon touching the chaos magic that Discord had used. By its very nature it is an unnatural thing, even more so than dark magic. Eventually, Celestia finished her inspection and walked over to my parents.

“I’m afraid what Discord said is true. As far as I can tell, the spell he used to alter your daughter is bound and deadlock sealed. Nothing can break that; not even Discord’s own chaos magic.” My parents looked understandably worried. “However, he was also being honest when he told you of the spell having a natural decay built in. It has already begun to degrade quite well. I’d say in a week’s time at most, Lizzie will turn back to her normal self.”

“What will the reversal be like for her, your highness?” my father asked.

“Well, given that she slept through her transformation, I’d say it will be barely noticeable. Though I suggest that she’s put into a relaxed position shortly before it happens, just to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself.” She softly snorted in irritation. “I’m just sorry that Discord has done this. He’s made many strides in his reformation but at times he can be quite unpredictable.” For once the princess appeared a little distressed.

It was then that my father did something completely unprecedented. Leaving his wife’s side he walked over to the alicorn princess and embraced her in a hug. I may not be a member of the court, but I’m fairly sure there’s some sort of protocol forbidding that.

“Hey, it’s okay, Tia,” he said, pausing to release her. “There’s no harm done, and I’m sure Discord didn’t mean any of this. He probably thought it was a fun idea. You know what he’s like.” Celestia rolled her eyes.

It was then that it dawned on me. Tia. My father had addressed Princess Celestia as ‘Tia’. Since when had he been doing that? She seemed to be awfully relaxed around him than with any of her other advisors. I knew my dad meant nothing by it, but he seemed very friendly with his supposed superior. I made a note to interrogate him about it later. As I plotted, Celestia continued to speak, this time to Lizzie.

“I’m awfully sorry we can’t fix this sooner, Lizzie,” she said apologetically. “Just try and view this as a learning experience and I’m sure it will be over before you know it.”

She then took her leave along with the two look-alike guards who had brought her here. In addition to dealing with this issue, she was also going to pay Discord a visit, naturally, and also briefly speak with Mayor Mare, who had requested an audience to discuss some important matters. When Twilight asked her why the two guard captains were with her, she merely replied that she thought it would be nice to for Twilight to see her older brother and one of her old friends again.

Our little gathering consequently also broke up. Lizzie and Fluttershy went with Rainbow to Ponyville Park; Dash was insistent they start flight training immediately. My parents, particularly my still slightly concerned mother, followed them closely. Applejack and I were going to head straight back to Sweet Apple Acres. Most of those infernal brambles had been trimmed back to a safe distance but we’d be keeping a watchful eye on them. Before I could leave with her though, Twilight pulled me to one side.

“Blade Star, why don’t you take this opportunity to go and talk to Strong Shield? Now is as good a time as any. He and Shining have gone to the Tavern I think. I was going to catch up with them anyway. Why not tag along?” I briefly considered declining her offer, but she was right. I needed to set things right properly with him. I told AJ that I’d catch up with her later, and I followed Twilight.

As was something of a custom of his, Strong Shield, along with Shining Armor had worked their way to the Tavern. There was hardly anywhere else they could go for a drink, since it was Ponyville’s sole watering hole. Twilight was a little uneasy about going into such an establishment. Though she was a full grown mare, she had chosen not to drink that much, and she certainly didn’t fancy going into bars on a regular basis. I know for certain she disapproves of my taste for whiskey.

Still, with me for company, and knowing her big brother would be in there, she set aside her inhibitions and followed me inside. The place was just as I remembered it, a little dark when you initially entered, owing to the dim lighting in the place. However, as your eyes adjusted, the place took on a very homely atmosphere. It sort of reminded me of a cross between Steers bar back in Canterlot, and an old English pub. Berry Punch was behind the bar as usual, undoubtedly sneaking a few glasses of the good stuff for herself. And sitting at the bar, in full uniform I might add, were the two captains.

As soon as Twilight picked out her brother, literally shining from the lamp light reflected by his uniform, she quickly galloped over to him. I think having his little sister come up behind him and wrap him in a hug killed the ‘guys only’ mood that had previously permeated the bar. I couldn’t help but crack a smile as Shining tried to pry his sister off of him, with Strong Shield chuckling at the stallion’s misfortune.

I held back for a moment, I was still not sure what I was going to do. I mean I could hardly just walk up to him and say ‘Hey, Captain. Sorry for nearly killing you because I found out you were a changeling’. Still, from the way he had looked at me when he’d arrived, and given that Twilight motioned me to join them at the bar, it seemed he wanted to talk.

I settled myself down nervously next to Twilight, who was sitting next to her brother. This left me between her and Strong Shield. Either it was luck that had caused this to come to pass, or Twilight had planned this more thoughtfully that I had expected. The two guards were nursing some of the non-alcoholic ciders (they were on duty after all and it was still early morning). I decided to follow suit and got myself one, whilst Twilight ordered herself some of that herbal tea she likes. I still find it strange the range that the Tavern offers; when I’d been here last I’d had a whiskey, whilst Thermos had had himself a hot chocolate. Still, it seemed to work.

Twilight began to happily converse with her big brother. Even as a princess, it was still difficult for the siblings to meet up to talk and hang out on a regular basis. Plus of course, Shining does take his work extremely seriously, even more so now that he has to defend two kingdoms. This left me to talk with Strong Shield. I knew it was going to be at least a little awkward no matter what, so I decided to just go for broke.

“Hey, Captain. It’s been a while.” Okay, I admit, I could have chosen far better opening lines, but I was stressed.

“That it has, Rookie. That it has,” he replied in his typical, slightly gravelly voice. “How have you been handling things down here? Twilight told me that you’ve really settled down.” I nodded.

“Yeah, Ah suppose so. Been over six months now, and it looks like Ah’m here to stay.” I paused to take a sip of cider. “How ‘bout you? How have you been keeping, Captain?” It was then Strong Shield broached the inevitable topic.

“Well, after I got released, the princesses themselves interviewed and debriefed me. Neither of them had any objection to what you’d suggested so they sent me on my way. As far as anypony except the CO knows, nothing’s changed. I’m due to start working with the new recruits next week.” Seeing as he’d mentioned the incident, I started to raise it myself.

“Captain, can Ah speak plain for a minute?” He nodded, and I took a further gulp of cider. Even without the alcohol, it served as Dutch courage. “Ah understand if ya hate my guts. And Ah understand if ya never want to cross paths with me again. But let me just say; Ah’m sorry, for everythin’ that happened.” I turned to look him in the eye and waited for a response.

The seasoned guard seemed to be held in deep contemplation for a fair while. He looked to me, then to Twilight and then to Shining. All the while he was thinking, and thinking hard. Finally, he spoke again.

“Rookie, you listen to me good for a minute. I don’t care for what you did to me in that dungeon. You knocked an innocent pony silly and were planning to take his life in some sort of petty revenge. It was mean, and cruel, and went against everything Equestria stands for. But I’m sure you know that. I can see it’s torn you up more than a bit since we last met. I doubt there’s anything I can say to make it any worse than that. You know that what you did was wrong. Shining came at me with pretty much the same speech after I got paroled. Now, I can say I forgive you, but you’re gonna need to forgive yourself, or else you’re never gonna be yourself around me.”

I listened to him, and took in what he said in silence. A part of me still refuses to believe he’s a changeling. I look at him, and I just can’t see it. A changeling is a parasite, a thief. Strong Shield is neither of those things. But he is still a changeling. But the strangest thing is how wise he can be at times, yet the typical drone appears to be guided by only a limited sentience.

He was, as he always is, right. I was not looking forward to this encounter due to my own shame, and my own self-loathing. The day I’d interrogated him, I’d let loose a sick, twisted, darker part of me that I’d never seen before. And that is what I had to really confront; the fact that I’m not always nice, the fact that I can be just as evil as anyone else. No one likes to contemplate that.

It was then an idea entered my head.

“Rookie, are you sure this is a good idea? Or legal even?” Strong Shield asked as we stood facing each other.

“You’re quite safe from the law, Captain. As long as we both agree this was an ‘accidental encounter’, there’s nothin’ wrong with it. Just don’t say anything about arrangin’ this, ya hear? Now, twenty paces good enough for you?” Strong Shield sighed.

“I know you have this whole sense of honour thing, but are you sure this is necessary?” he asked again.

“Captain, what Ah did constitutes an insult for which I refused to apologise for at the time. This is the best way to settle it and restore my own honour. Now, Shining, if you would?” Shining nodded.

“Alright, gentlecolts. Back to back.” We both complied. “On my signal you will each take ten paces forward. On the tenth you will both turn and fire using stun spells at your opponent. The matter shall be deemed settled when either of you is rendered defenceless. No more than three shots and no dumb firing.”

So, that was the plan I’d come up with. In order to forgive myself for what had happened, I had convinced Strong Shield to agree to a duel. And not a sissy magic duel like Twilight had undergone, this was a proper affair. This was something of a way of atoning for what I had done. While neither of us would be dead at the conclusion, the injury caused by stunning each other would be good enough for me. With that, the matter could be settled and closed and we could get back to the Tavern before Shining and Strong Shield had to meet up with the princess to return to Canterlot.

“Good luck, Rookie,” he said as we stood back to back. I smiled and briefly let my accent slip back to its old British charm.

“Don’t trifle with me, sir. Shoot me.” And with that Shining began to call out the paces and we began to walk. Off to my side, I could see Spike and Twilight, who had been roped in as mine and Strong Shield’s seconds respectively.

“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!” Shining called.

I turned as quickly as I could on four hooves in an effort to get a bead on my opponent. Of course, the idea of me having any chance of winning this engagement was something of a long shot. Strong Shield was a seasoned veteran captain in the Royal Guard. He had seen more combat than most and was known to be both a crack shot and quick on the draw. Thus it was no surprise when I felt a sharp bolt of pain shoot up my side. Quite quickly, the force of the impact knocked me over onto my side. I lay there a moment, wincing. A few seconds later, Strong Shield along with Shining, Twilight and Spike appeared in my vision.

“There. Are you happy now?” Strong Shield asked. I nodded, still sore from taking the hit. “Good, because it’s too damn hot out here and I want to get back to the Tavern.” With that, he extended a hoof and helped me up.

My shoulder had taken the brunt of the impact and had some light singing. Luckily for me, as I had a dark grey coat, the marks didn’t show up too badly. In any case, honour had been satisfied and so had I. I had hurt Strong Shield and in turn he had hurt me back. Things were once again balanced, in harmony if you will.

Back at the pub, all the awkwardness of our initial meeting completely evaporated and all of us chatted like the friends we were. By the time the two captains had to depart, we were all laughing and joking. Strong Shield and I even had a bit of a laugh poking fun at Shining Armor, telling him Cadence had better watch out in the future. It still makes me smile seeing the Captain of the Royal Guard blush beet red.

We all gathered outside the library as the princess departed back to Canterlot. Lizzie and Rainbow Dash returned from their flying lesson. So far, she’d managed to just about get airborne and keep herself steady, but Dash insisted she was a better student than Twilight, which made the alicorn snort in annoyance.

Celestia also returned to the library after finishing up her business in Ponyville. By all accounts she’d pretty much verbally boxed Discord’s ears for his little stunt but was going to hold off the whole ‘turning him back to stone’ threat for the moment. Like I said, it may have been stupid of him, but it wasn’t evil like he used to be. Just Discord being Discord, that’s probably as close to reformed as you’re going to get with him.

It was then that I turned to my father. His odd actions had been bugging me all day. In the end, as Celestia departed, I cornered him by the library and asked him what had been going on. I explained to him the semi-serious social faux pas he had made hugging the princess, but then went on to ask him why he had called her Tia.

“Dad, Ah only know one pony in the world who calls Princess Celestia by that name, and that’s her sister. When did you start usin' it? Ya haven’t picked it up from Discord have ya?” My father shook his head and wore a look of surprise.

“Good lord, Bones, no. Celestia herself asked that I call her that. She just said she wanted me to be a bit more informal with her outside of court. It’s got to be at least a little annoying having less than ten people address you by name instead of title. It’s just so she has someone she can talk to informally besides Luna and the other princesses.”

I honestly hadn’t considered that, why I have no idea. Sometimes it is easy to forget that the princesses are still ponies, albeit extremely powerful ones. They still need ponies to talk to and be friends with. I think that’s one of the reason Celestia likes the idea of Twilight being a princess. Additionally, the same could be applied to Luna. After all, that was why she occasionally dropped in on my dreams; to relax and just be herself for a little while. It was nice to know that both of them had somepony they could turn to.

Interlude 10 - I Believe In Equestria

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As I approached the great double doors that marked the entrance to the throne room, I became aware of an unusual sound. Typically, the court was silent unless either Celestia or a petitioner was speaking. The guards were naturally silent, and aside from me nopony had a reason to speak up. But today, I could hear music coming from the throne room, soft yet powerful music. It was definitely a string instrument, and just the one. It was too deep to be a violin, but not quite enough to be a double bass; a cello perhaps. The piece being played was quite familiar to me, a slow, haunting piece that suited the film it had been written for well. As the great doors were opened for me, the volume increased and I was able to see things for myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zwng9HBTyw

Sitting on her throne as usual was Celestia, her ever present guards keeping a constant watch. But off to her left, on a slightly raised platform just a little below the height of the throne, a single grey earth pony was playing the cello. It is strange how creatures that lack fingers, and are quadrupeds by nature, are able to even use such an instrument, never mind play it with such skill.

Celestia had her eyes closed whilst the piece played, evidently listening to it in great contemplation, but as I entered she roused herself and looked across the throne room to me. I calmly crossed the great open hall to take my place next to her, though not before offering a quick bow and greeting.

“Buon giorno, Principessa,” I offered in my more passable Italian. Celestia cracked a lopsided grin at that. I guess Twilight sent her a few of those films after all.

“Good morning to you too, Roger. I trust you had a pleasant trip?”

“Of course, your highness,” I replied, free travel and food in the first class carriage usually did me in good stead. Celestia nodded slightly.

“Then take a seat, consigliere.” I started at that, which in turn caused Celestia to snigger softly. “Given how much you act as my advisor these days, I’d say it’s a fitting title, wouldn’t you agree?”

“You have been watching too many movies, your highness,” I replied as I settled myself down next to her. Celestia turned to the pony playing the cello, who had just completed the piece she had been playing.

“Thank you, Octavia. As ever your solo performances are impeccable. I look forward to hearing you at the next symphony performance.” Octavia nodded politely before leaving, allowing the court to commence. I couldn’t help but smile; I knew what she did in her free time.

The first few cases did not really require any input from me, so I had a chance to think. I couldn’t help but smile at the idea of Celestia as a Don. Though to be fair, her position as princess was not too dissimilar, and at times she could be just as ruthless as a Corleone. After all, what was this court if not a place of appeals and pleas for aid? On occasion, ponies had come to Celestia when their local authorities had failed them. And what of the greater political world outside Equestria that Celestia was a part of? Politics shares dozens of similarities with the way a family is run, with negotiation, conflicts, settlements, alliances made and broken. Celestia herself had done many things that demonstrated she was not always somepony who operated inside the rules of morality, a fact my son frequently attests to. She commands the same respect and possesses just as much power. It was an interesting line of thought.

However, that line of thought was promptly interrupted by a legal case. It was an appeal against a not guilty verdict given by a court in Fillydelphia, one of Equestria’s industrial and less welcoming cities. The place had taken a something of a nose dive after it invested most of its money into building a sports village when it hosted the Equestria Games several years ago.

The case was pretty simple to look at, common assault by two stallions on a mare when they discovered she wasn’t ‘up for it’. They’d roughed her up pretty badly according to the hospital and then taken off, only to be caught a couple of days later. The case had naturally gone to trial but a large chunk of the evidence for the prosecution was circumstantial at best, and in spite of the defendants grinning and joking the entire time they were on the stand, the judge had been forced to kick the case. Needless to say, this had not sat well with the mare’s father, the stallion who now stood before the princess. He’d already asked for a retrial but it had been rejected, so he had come here.

“Princess, surely you will not allow these animals to simply walk free,” he said, visibly becoming upset. “Such creatures deserve to be brought to the sword!”

Until this point, Celestia had, as she typically does, listened in silence. Unless it was absolutely necessary, she never interrupted anypony in her court. However, the stallion effectively asking her for help in bumping off these two sorry excuses for stallions compelled her to speak.

“My little pony, that I cannot do,” she said, speaking in a calm, vaguely maternal tone. “I am surprised that you would even consider coming before this court to ask for such a thing.”

“I ask for justice,” the stallion countered. Celestia however shook her head.

“That is not justice; your daughter is still alive.”

“They should suffer then, as my daughter suffers.” The solar diarch paused to think.

“What do you think, Mr. Owen?” she asked me. I’d been thinking about the case since the stallion began to tell his sorry tale. Were it my daughter, there would be no force in the world that could compel me to not seek vengeance. Celestia and the system at large had to be seen to do something, else it was more than likely that this stallion himself would find himself incarcerated. But the government, especially a benevolent absolutist diarchy, could not simply take two stallions off the streets and bang their heads together.

However, there were such individuals who could. A germ of an idea began to form in my mind.

Oh, I am good. An advantage of having a good working and theoretical knowledge of the law meant I knew all the little loopholes. This was technically exploiting one, but I think you’ll agree that in this particular case, my actions adhered to the spirit of the law.

“Well, your highness. I would firstly not recommend that the petitioner go and speak with Octavia Melody of the Royal Canterlot Symphony Orchestra. I also strongly recommend that he does not take a photograph of the two defendants and give them to her, along with a bag of roughly five hundred bits. I would not expect that the matter would be settled within twenty four hours.” Celestia said nothing, her face switching to its poker playing mode. The stallion meanwhile promptly bowed and left, having evidently understood my meaning. After he had left, Celestia spoke to me.

“I must say, I did not expect that from you, Roger. Luna perhaps, but not you.” The younger of the two sisters was known on occasion to employ, shall we say, unorthodox methods in her pursuit of villainy.

“I have not done anything, your highness. The Equestrian government is not at liberty to pick and choose. I merely advised the petitioner of what he should not do, the fact that he chooses to disregard my advice is of no concern.”

In case you are wondering, I had known about Octavia and her little ‘side business’ for a while. Even in Equestria such things can be found if you know where to look, and Celestia does. She was sensible and discreet; she wouldn’t get carried away and take things too far. Insofar as the letter of the law is concerned I may have done something not quite completely kosher. However, I adhered to its spirit, when you break the law; you are justly punished, restoring the balance between victim and perpetrators.

There did not seem to be any further petitioners left after that one legal matter and Celestia and I were preparing to call the usual lunchtime recess when a piercing screech echoed through the castle.

“Auntie!” came a voice. Oh dear God; it was Blueblood.

Blueblood was a universal problem for anyone who spent any amount of time in Canterlot Castle. If there was one pony that could sum up all of the problems of the nobility, it would be him. He is irritating, rude, foul-tempered, self-righteous, selfish, arrogant and has an unyielding belief that he is always right. I’m guessing therefore that he’s a Capricorn.

I’d encountered him quite early on in my career as Celestia’s advisor, and he’d made his dislike for me abundantly clear. I mean, if calling me an ape, in front of the entire court wasn’t obvious enough. Celestia of course had quickly given him a severe telling off and sent him packing. But that wasn’t enough for Blueblood. No matter what, even when the vast majority of the nobles, including the highly influential Fancy Pants, accepted me, he did his upmost to annoy and insult me. And I expected today to be no different.

Celestia, undoubtedly calling upon centuries of experience in being patient with imbeciles, briefly closed her eyes and breathed before replying to Blueblood’s banshee screech.

“He’s probably in trouble again,” I quipped.

“Yes, Blueblood?” she asked, attempting to keep a maternal tone.

“I need your help.” For once, his tone didn’t seem quite so demanding, it sounded almost as if he was actually asking, rather than demanding advice. Such an action seemed to throw Celestia too. He even looked visibly shaken up.

“What is it, nephew?” I never have been able to understand how that idiot can possibly be a relative, as far as I understand he is her nephew, though many, many times removed.

“I’m just so upset right now. Felicity left me this morning; she said she never wanted to see me again. Then Many Coins cut me out of his group. And just now I heard the mayor was going to throw me off the city council.” The stallion then broke down completely and began to cry. As far as I was concerned, the little bugger was getting a taste of his own medicine; all those ponies he’d ticked off had finally had enough. Still, for such a heartless oaf, he could be taking it better. “Oh Auntie, what can I do?”

Celestia seemed at a loss with what to do with the sobbing stallion that now lay on the throne room floor. Catching her eyes, I motioned to let me handle it, she promptly nodded. Getting up from my seat, I went over to the still crying prince and picked him up, grabbing him roughly by the shoulders and briefly shaking him.

“You can act like a stallion!” I bellowed, before briefly smacking him across the face. His crying quickly stopped at my sudden outburst. “What’s the matter with you? Is this how you’ve turned out; a powerless prince that cries like a filly when a few things don’t go his way?” I began to imitate his whimpering.

“‘Oh, what can I do? What can I do?’” Faintly, I could hear that some of the guards had broken their usual code of silence to snigger slightly. “You certainly don’t come crying here.” I now switched my tone to be gentler. “Now listen, I want you to go back to your room, make yourself presentable. I’ll speak to the mayor and see if I can convince him to let you keep your seat. Once you’ve cleaned yourself up, I want you to go and spend some time with Princess Luna.”

“Why should I do that?” Blueblood asked, sounding a little bewildered.

“Do you spend much time with your family, Blueblood?” I asked. He shook his head. “That is why you are like this; a stallion that does not spend time with his family can never be a real stallion. Now go.” And with that, Blueblood left the throne room, presumably to go to his room. I turned back to Celestia.

“Did I just do that?” Celestia shrugged her shoulders, a look of complete surprise evident on her features.

In any case, it was now time for lunch, and that meant it was time to go and resume playing ‘the game’. I just hoped Discord would try something other than the Northumbria gambit today.

I’d first introduced both of the princesses to ‘the game’ when they had asked me one afternoon to stay for lunch. They usually did something in the intervening period to allow them to take their minds off of their duties. The games ranged from chess games (which Luna consistently won) to cards and even monopoly, although they only ever played that once, shortly before the incident a thousand years ago. So by this point, they were both equally matched at most games and had done them all to death. I thus introduced them to ‘the game’.

I actually came across ‘the game’ when I had gone to a Freemasons meeting with a few police constables I knew. I wasn’t a member, but it was an open night and it didn’t seem too shady. We’d all settled down after the dinner to play ‘the game’ over a few drinks. It took a while to fully understand the rules, and my research yielded a few of the older variants, but by the end of the night I was a fairly confident player.

The biggest problem playing the game in Equestria, even with a fairly minimalist rule set such as the Charles II variant, was getting all the material necessary to play. The rift that had appeared in the Everfree Forest had given me sufficient information to construct an accurate game board. The problem was finding the necessary playing pieces and additional tools. The rook chess piece was easy enough to find as was the Cluedo candlestick. However, the spirit level, AAA batteries and the gyroscope proved more difficult. Nevertheless, by the start of the next week, I had enough for a decent game and told the princesses the one rule that may be imparted to new players. One of the most wonderful things about ‘the game’ is how players have to learn the rules as they play by trial and error.

We’d now been playing each lunch recess for a fortnight and all parties were getting quite skilled. So far Celestia had managed to win five games and Luna, four. But the best player by far, was Discord. He’d dropped in on us whilst we were playing, immediately recognised the game being played and asked if he could join. He was actually a very talented player, and I imagine even Burton in 1996 World Championship at Toronto would have been sweating a couple of times had the two ever locked horns.

Today, the game was heating up and looking to be quite a close run thing. From the start, Celestia had played quite conservatively, as she usually does. She only ever becomes aggressive toward the endgame. Luna, in contrast had lashed out at me and Discord very quickly taking a large amount of the board in the opening rounds. Discord always seemed to rely on the Northumbria gambit for his opening, but from there, his play was quite random. Looking at the board, I considered my options.

“Hmm, I think Chalk Farm,” I said, moving my crucifix piece to the location by that name. A sound move given that the dice still read eight and wouldn’t be cycled for another round. Discord, whose turn it was next, leaned back.

“Okay, I’ll play with you. Seven Sisters.” He smirked at the clever move by his candlestick. I was now potentially in the Nidd, assuming Celestia didn’t release the diagonal.

“You really shouldn’t be so aggressive, Discord,” she said softly, levitating her upturned rook with a smile. “St John’s Wood, you’re trapped; back to Upminster for you.” The draconequus huffed in irritation. He tried to reverse the situation with a spin of the clock but it did no good, landing on twenty past four. We were now in a collective deadlock. I had Celestia stuck due to her position at a Jubilee line station which was currently affected by the Copenhagen exception, Discord had me in the Nidd and Celestia had sent Discord back to his position five turns prior. All eyes turned to the fourth and final player.

“Down to you, Luna,” I said. The navy blue princess regarded the four pieces on the board with care, particularly focussing on her own monopoly car. Eventually, a smile played across her features.

“I think you shall all find yourself going back to whence you came. Shepherd’s Bush! You are all in violation of the Swedish Albany Rule, the Victoria line is reversed!” The rest of us groaned in consternation as the pieces were levitated, and moved to new positions in accordance with the rules. I should have seen that coming. We were all displaced and sent all over the network with me being sent as far out as Woolwich Arsenal. Now Luna had the wholesale advantage and could potentially win next turn.

I wracked my brain for a way out of the predicament. Celestia had released the diagonal, which gave me some breathing room, but Bakerloo was still out of bounds, and Discord’s new position had me in a very delicate spot. Plus, the dice would be rolled this turn and a card drawn. Unless I got another eight and a joker I’d had it. Luna knew I was playing for time.

“Euston,” I said at length. A fool’s move and I knew it, but there was no way out. If only I’d asked for New Livingston version of the rules, though even then, the Docklands light railway was still not in play. Celestia and Discord each did their best to find an advantageous position but there was no hope. Luna reached the goal on her turn.

“Huzzah! Mornington Crescent! Mornington Crescent!” she declared happily.

“Alright, Luna; no need to rub it in,” the elder sister chided. “A good game I think, wouldn’t you say so, Roger?”

“Definitely, Tia,” I replied nodding. “I didn’t expect such a sudden turn around. But don’t think I won’t beat you next time, Luna. Maybe next time, we’ll try the professional level and play without the board,” I warned, wagging my finger at the lunar princess in mock severity.

“Well, you did say that made for a more rewarding experience,” she replied, still looking smug.

With the game finished, we all left the table and went to partake in high tea, something Celestia insists upon. We happily chatted amongst ourselves, mainly about what was happening in the two royal courts. Occasionally, matters could spill from one to the other, plus it was fun to hear some of the more peculiar stories from Luna’s Night Court. I still have no idea what to say about that one stallion that walked in, covered head to toe in blue paint, and declared his undying love for the princess.

Discord too would chip in now and then about things that had happened. Today though he was a little quiet, mainly due to the colossal telling off he’d gotten from Celestia for what he did to my daughter. There was no harm done, but it was still bang out of order for him to do it. On the other hand, without Discord, I think Equestria would be a very boring place.

“You know, Princess, I’ve been keeping my ear to the ground recently,” he paused to pick said ear from the floor. “And this new game of ours has caused quite a stir amongst those oh so boring nobles.” I set down the tea I had been drinking.

“What do you mean, Discord?” I replied, naturally interested. Even Celestia briefly put down her slice of cake to listen. That is quite a rarity, and don’t get me started on physically separating her from cake.

“Well, it seems that there are all sorts of theories going around as to what the game precisely is. I can’t tell you how many wild theories I’ve heard about our little lunchtime frivolity. Though I must say, the idea that it represents just enough chaos to keep me in check was quite amusing.” To be fair, on more than one occasion, Discord had used his magic in the course of play, though he had never cheated.

“The nobility makes everything into scandal and hogwash,” Luna replied. “I’m sure you remember, sister, the rumours that went around when you took Roger on as an advisor.”

Ah yes, how could I forget? I was hypnotising the princess to gain control of Equestria. I was actually her consort in secret. I was an ally of Discord. I was a hired assassin working for griffon dissidents. The list was endless and each one more ridiculous that the last. It seemed two alicorns, a human and a draconequus playing a game during a court recess was also clearly a plot to overthrow the government.

“What are they saying about the game then?” I asked. Discord paused to select presumably the most humorous ones.

“Well, there is the idea that it controls me. Then there’s that it is actually a test, and that anypony able to sit down and play with any skill shall be worthy of some kind of reward. Then there’s the one claiming it’s actually a continuation of the battle between Celestia and Nightmare Moon.” Luna snorted angrily at that; more than a few nobles would be getting bad dreams tonight. “And finally, there’s the one that suggests that when a certain series of moves are played, a portal will open to allow an army of humans to invade and conquer the world.”

Silence prevailed for a few moments, but inevitably we all started laughing. It never ceases to amaze me just how contrived the Canterlot rumour mill can be and the wild stories it throws out. Now, if any of these rumours were actually causing any harm, Celestia would see that they stopped, immediately. However, as it was, they provided a great source of royal amusement, so the nobility would remain in ignorance.

“Lord, what fools these mortals be,” I said as we finished up lunch. Given that I was in the presence of three immortal beings, the phrase has probably never been more appropriate.

The conversation then turned to what had happened in Day Court this morning, in particular, my response to the legal case I’d been confronted with. When Celestia finished her tale, Luna nodded her head in approval.

“And it serves those two brigands right too. I imagine Octavia will set them straight,” she said, with an air of finality. Celestia chucked lightly.

“Now Luna, I know it’s only been a few years, but I think you must accept that some of your methods are just a little outdated.” Luna narrowed her eyes at her sister.

“This coming from the pony who went to see the griffon emperor on the eve of war? And who took half his land plus a peace treaty without a single blow?” Luna replied hotly. This was a story I had not heard and upon asking Luna about it, she related it, despite Celestia’s insistence that she didn’t.

“It was a hundred years or so before I was exiled, and we faced a possible war with an expanding Griffon Empire as it was then called. Sister here went to the capital to see if she could hold off the conflict with negotiation. She offered the emperor the sum of fifty thousand bits in exchange for a peace. He refused. A week later she went back, this time with Captain Goldwing, the then Captain of the Royal Guard in tow. She spoke with the emperor in his private chambers, and within an hour, a peace treaty was signed, the emperor renounced all claims on our land and even gave over large portions of his personal estate to Equestria.”

“How on earth did that happen?” I asked perplexedly. Luna smiled.

“I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse,” Celestia answered, sipping at her tea. Luna quickly elaborated.

“Captain Goldwing held his spear to the emperor’s neck, and our sister assured him that within the next minute, either the contents of his jugular or his signature, would rest upon the dotted line.”

I was surprised to say the least. I did not think Celestia was capable of such an act, though to be fair, it was a different time.

“Is that true, Tia?” I asked, still not quite believing it. Celestia fixed me with a faux cold stare. I was reminded quickly that this mare literally controlled the sun, and could vaporise me if she wished. She then spoke one sentence before heading back to court.

“Don’t ever ask me about my business, Roger.”

She left the table and headed back through the doors to court, which were promptly closed behind her. I couldn’t help but hear the music from this morning echo in my head.

Chapter 62 - Cloudsdale

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It was early in the morning, not too long after sunrise. Applejack, Big Mac and I were standing on the edge of an open area of grassland on Sweet Apple Acres. A ways out in front of us, silhouetted by the rising sun, was a medium sized barn; one of many that was used for short term storage. This particular example though had been deemed unsafe for use; condemned by various building inspectors. A small number of parasprites (evidently offspring of the ones Twilight had encountered) had gotten inside the barn at some point, and in the manner of those varmints, ruined the woodwork. As a result, we would have to knock it down and build a new one in a few months before the next harvest season.

Now, just in case you don’t know, it can be quite tricky to safely demolish a building without access to explosives or heavy machinery designed for the task. Even my own magic would use up a fair portion of my reserves in bringing the structure down. So, we went to one of the few ponies in town capable of performing such a feat; Rainbow Dash.

Dash had discovered quite early on, that if she performed a sonic rainboom too close to the ground, it created a ground burst effect; effectively a large explosion. She’d done this sort of job for the Apples’ on a few occasions and had gotten pretty good at it. However, this time, the display had attracted a crowd.

“Twenty four, twenty five, twenty six. Twenty six ponies plus us, ‘Jack,” I called as I completed the headcount. This explosion could be pretty damn big; we were taking no chances about anypony being caught in the open.

“Thanks, Bones!” AJ replied. She then turned to address the crowd. “Alright everypony, if y’all want to settle yourself down in the trench, we’ll get this show on the road.” A few feet behind me, was a deep trench which would protect everypony from the blast. Standing up on their hind legs, a pony could just about see over the top. When the blast hit, everypony would get down to avoid the debris. As the ponies settled in, Rainbow herself landed next to me.

“Hey, Blade Star,” she said as she tucked her wings back to her sides. I looked up.

“Oh, hey there, Dash. Ya ready for this?” I asked. She rolled her eyes.

“C’mon, you know me; I was born ready to do stunts like this.” She stuck her chest out proudly. I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that she’d neglected to mention that she had no official training.

“Alright, if you say so,” I replied. “Get yourself airborne, and when you see me fire a blue flare, start you run. Okay?” She nodded and prepared for take-off. Just before she disappeared in a literal dash, she turned back to me.

“Oh, Blade Star, just figured I should let you know. I was planning on taking Lizzie up to Cloudsdale today. Twilight says she’s happy to take you up there in her old balloon and your folks too if they want. I think she’s just using it as an excuse to teach that cloud walking spell though.” She then took off at a steep angle leaving a rainbow trail in her wake.

I promptly returned to Applejack, who handed me a hardhat which I exchanged for my Stetson, along with a pair of anti-flash goggles. We did one final headcount of everypony who had assembled. Apparently the chance to see something blow up in a rainbow coloured fireball was quite a popular pastime in Ponyville. As Applejack retreated with her brother into the trench, she handed me the large megaphone with its stand, as well as a small crank siren. Given how big this would probably be, everypony in a five mile radius needed to know about it. Other than that, the only things above ground level were a load of scientific meteorological equipment Twilight had set up to measure the blast.

Using my magic I began to crank the heavy handle of the siren. The familiar eerie wail could be heard for miles, nothing could be heard except that ominous, cold sound that turned the blood in your veins to ice. I turned to use the megaphone.

“Fire in the hole! Fire in the hole! Take cover at once!” I called. In the unlikely event anypony was stupid enough to still be in the blast area, they now had about thirty seconds to run. I then addressed the crowd. “It is now thirty seconds to zero time. Put on goggles or turn away. Do not remove goggles, or face blast until ten seconds after the first light.”

With that, I tilted my head back, and fired a basic light spell upward. It acted in a manner similar to a firework; going high into the sky before exploding in a bright flash. I saw the faint speck than was Rainbow Dash start descending. We’d worked it out very carefully, once she started, we had thirty seconds. I put my own goggles on and began to count, calling the time into the megaphone.

“Minus fifteen seconds.”

“Minus ten seconds.”

“Niner, eight, seven, six, fiver, four, three, two, one, impact!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjdkMmtHjyM

In an instant, I flung myself into the trench to protect myself. Even with the goggles on, I wasn’t about to look at the light. Everything became silent for a moment, then the thunderous noise of the explosion and the blast wave hit. I felt a roaring wind shoot over the top of us; I doubted that Twilight’s equipment would survive the blast. Then, just as soon as it had started, it stopped. I heard the familiar sound of a speeding pegasus overhead.

“Okay guys, it’s clear. Barn’s gone too,” Dash called. As one, we all rose out of the trench and dusted ourselves off. Looking across to where the barn had been, all that could be seen now was the both terrifying and amusing image of a rainbow coloured mushroom cloud. It wasn’t actually nuclear; we’d all be dead if it was. It was simply the sheer forces and pressure caused by Dash when she performed a sonic rainboom. I patted the cyan pegasus on the back.

“Nice work, RD. Nice work.” We were now free to let the land recover and then start building. A part of me though still couldn’t help but feel that it was a bit over the top. With the job done, Dash headed off toward Fluttershy’s whilst I went to my parent’s house. I’d wanted to see Cloudsdale since I got here. My mum had a strong interest in Roman history, so she’d find the pegasi culture fascinating too.

As I was about to head off though, a thought occurred to me. I was leaving without Applejack, again. I’d been thinking and to be blunt I hadn’t been much of a coltfriend or whatever the hay I am to AJ these past weeks. A trip to a floating city would sure be something. I quickly found her amongst the dispersing crowd.

“Hey, AJ. How’d ya like to go on a little trip?” After quickly telling Granny where she was going, and after I told Big Mac what I was up to, we both headed off to my parents’ house. As we left, with the cloud still hanging overhead, I couldn’t help but look back and mutter one thing.

“War. War never changes.” Even in the magical land of Equestria.

Mum and Dad happily jumped at the chance to see the floating city of Cloudsdale. Dad had heard a fair bit about the city, and had even met its mayor during his time working for Celestia and he’d wanted to go for some time. Mum too was interested in the city, having seen it on her way to the school every morning as well as passing Rainbow’s own cloud home. The city was the great redoubt of the pegasi and of course home to both the Weather Factory and the Wonderbolts. After quickly grabbing a few things the four of us headed on over to Twilight’s to get ready. Whilst the two humans and earth pony merely relaxed and chatted, Twilight pulled me aside to impart to me yet more knowledge.

“Alright, Blade Star, this spell is pretty easy to accomplish, as long as you have the right method,” she said, prompting me to tilt my head to one side.

“Right method, Twilight?” I repeated. She nodded, smiling.

“The spell requires absolute concentration in order to function properly. Any distraction or loss of focus and it could degrade at a faster pace than it should. And I think we can agree that the results of that might be, well, unfortunate.” Unfortunate was bloody right. If this spell went wrong it would do so in a big way.

With this in mind, Twilight handed me the tome which contained the intricacies of the spell. For once, politics intruded into the domain of magic. When it had first been created, not too long after unification as a means of allowing cultural exchanges between the pegasi and the other tribes, there had been some disagreement. Many of the pegasi ‘old guard’ disliked the idea of imparting a form of flight magic to non-pegasi, some hogwash about it being their birth right. One Cloudsdale politician even went so far as to invite all non-pegasi to ‘Go back to the Sodom from which you came.’ Anyway, to settle this issue, the only form of the spell taught had a built in failsafe that would terminate the spell in three days. This is what made it tricky.

Adding in a time decay function to a spell takes work, particularly if you want it to be precise. A delay of three days, if one isn’t careful, can easily become three seconds. I therefore studied the tome intensely, going over every single nuance several times to ensure I had got it all correct.

“Okay Twilight, Ah think Ah’ve got this,” I said as I set the book down. My teacher instructed me to perform the spell on myself for now. I was glad of that, just to keep my own conscience at bay, I was going to ask her to cast the spell on my parents and AJ anyway. Keeping a steady focus, I closed my eyes and began to cast the spell. Aside from the time delay, it isn’t that difficult really, but that didn’t mean I was going to take any chances.

When I finished and opened my eyes, I found Twilight had quickly gone and pulled down a small tuft of cloud, just about large enough for a pony to stand on. Tentatively, I stepped on the cloud. And believe it or not, the gaseous object took my weight and held; I’d done it.

With my own spell completed and checked by Twilight, she cast the same spell on the rest of our group, double checking to be sure. When everypony was ready, Twilight called up the stairs to tell Spike she was going out and we headed outside. Twilight’s balloon was ready and waiting. Cloudsdale was only a few miles from Ponyville at the moment so the journey would be relatively short.

The five of us piled in, and Twilight released the anchor ropes. Steadily we rose upwards leaving Ponyville far behind. I’ve flown in aircraft before, but never a balloon; it was quite a pleasant experience. After about five minutes, we breeched the lower levels of cloud that were hanging around Ponyville, and Cloudsdale came into view. As we neared the floating city, I could make out pegasi bustling between the cloud buildings and I could spot the famous coliseum for which the city was famous. And just barely, I could make out two pegasi, one teal and one that left a rainbow coloured trail in her wake.

Twilight carefully steered the balloon toward an available spot, out of the way of most pegasi, but near enough so that we wouldn’t need wings to reach the centre of the city. With barely any noise, the basket settled onto the base of the cloud and Twilight tied the anchor ropes down onto some of the available pegs. With that, she invited us to step out, onto the clouds. It’s not like we knew they were made of gas and that we were over five thousand feet up at this point. I looked out over the edge of the basket.

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” I muttered to myself. With a hoof, I leapt over the side of the basket. Naturally, I didn’t leap to my doom, like every other inhabitant, I landed on the clouds, which gave a little under my weight, but otherwise held.

“Nice job, Blade Star,” Twilight complemented as I settled myself on the cloud. “Okay, you two, now you try.” Just as hesitantly, my parents looked at the clouds beneath them, eventually, with some trepidation still evident, they both stepped out, each one holding the other’s hand. When nothing happened, they both breathed a sigh of relief.

“I still can’t believe this,” my father said in quiet awe. “A whole city made of clouds, just floating in the sky.” Where we were, you had a great view of the city’s two big attractions; the coliseum and the Weather Factory. My mother spoke up as we looked across the vista.

“I’ve seen pictures of the cloud coliseum before, but I never imagined it was so vast. It’s probably bigger than the one in Rome. Lots of similarities too. You know, I remember reading once…” And she was off. Roman history was a passion of my mother’s, and if you started her on it, she wouldn’t stop for at least six hours. Luckily the world’s greatest lecturer was on hand to quieten her.

“Oh, so your world had a similar culture to the pegasi by the sounds of things. Multiple deities, imperial foreign policy, extremely influential military commanders and the beginnings of modern government.”

Or not.

Luckily at that moment, we were interrupted by an ominous shadow passing over us. For one horrifying moment a few bars of music I had learnt to fear played in my head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xd4YGvZ_fJI

Rainbow and Lizzie, Lizzie looking slightly less stable, landed a few feet in front of us after Rainbow had spotted us from the air. The sight of my little sister flying was enough to finally make my mother pipe down and let everypony else think for a minute. Once again though, I found myself missing my own temporary wings.

“Hey guys,” RD said. “Glad to see you got here okay. We’ve just been practicing a few moves around the city. Lizzie catches on pretty quick. Seriously kid, if you ever do decide to become a pegasus again after all this, I’ll definitely have a spot open on the Weather Patrol for you.” Lizzie looked away shyly at that. “So, do you guys want to grab a bite to eat first or what?”

It was getting on for lunch time anyway and we all agreed that getting a bite to eat would be a good idea before we all started wandering around Cloudsdale. Dash and Lizzie quickly took to the air again, though they kept low to the ‘ground’ of the clouds in order to better talk with us non-flyers. Twilight, in spite of her wings, elected to stay with us.

However, before I could set off, I was accosted by a small pegasus colt. He wore a dark blue uniform with a mail and wings logo emblazoned on the lapel. Obviously he worked for the post office.

“Telegram! Telegram for you, Mr Star!” the little colt squawked out, handing me a slip of paper before buzzing off to his next job. Opening the telegram, I began to read:

Blade Star STOP.
Do not alert Celestia to your presence STOP. Whatever you do, do not taste the rainbow STOP.
- Pinkie.

I dropped the brief message, now utterly confused and followed everypony else into town.

Dash led us into the main part of the city into what was evidently a sort of restaurant district. There were all sorts of cuisine on offer. Given that griffons could walk on clouds, there were a few restaurants that catered to meat eating customers. We initially took a look at them, but they did not really cater to mixed groups, serving a strictly carnivore menu. After that, we tried a few more pony based places, but of course, my parents couldn’t eat a great deal of that menu. In the end Dash decided to take us to a pegasus restaurant, not one of the typical tourist places. Looking at the prices, they were pretty over the top anyway.

We found ourselves walking through a maze of side streets that Dash seemed to know like the back of her hoof. Even Twilight was having difficulty remembering the route back to where the balloon was tethered. Eventually though, we came across a small little shop that seemed to almost jut out of the wall at you. A single small fish symbol hung on a sign outside. As we drew nearer, my parents and I picked up on a familiar scent. I could pick up cooked fish, and the smell of a good fry up. As we entered, the reason for this became obvious; this was, effectively, a fish and chip shop.

As it turned out, it was common practice to batter fish in Cloudsdale, and while they didn’t have chips per se, the staff did do fried potato wedges, which were effectively the same, and a great deal healthier for you to boot. As we all ate our meals, Dash told us that her folks had used to bring her here when she was a filly as a rare treat. While it seemed she knew where she was going, she had had to draw upon quite a few old memories to remember where the place was. I’d definitely be back here if I was ever in Cloudsdale again. They did the closest thing to true fish and chips this side of the rift.

When we had all finished up we headed out for a little tour of the city and maybe a little shopping too. As long as it didn’t launch Mum into another lecture on Roman or pegasi history, I was content.

Given that my gender was outnumbered more than two to one on this trip; our first stop naturally was the shops. It seems that taking females out shopping is a pastime that, for males, is universally boring. Luckily, as it turned out, the husband chair is also a universal constant. Dad and I had nothing to but chat amongst ourselves and try not to look bored whilst Mum, Applejack and Twilight went to every, single, little souvenir shop and Dash and Lizzie went to anything Wonderbolt or otherwise flying related. The latter wasn’t so bad, at least flying was interesting. Though to be fair, until my mother found out about it, Roman and pegasi history was quite interesting too.

Finally, though after around two hours of going and looking at things we either had at home or didn’t need, and then buying them, the girls declared their shopping complete and a success. This at least, allowed Dash to take us to a few of the more interesting places in Cloudsdale.

After a short introductory lecture by Twilight, which Dash and I promptly cut off, we arrived at Cloudsdale’s unique Weather Factory. Here everything from the most violent thunderstorm clouds to rainbows (of the non-magical rainbows of friendship variety) were manufactured and crafted by the, artisans I suppose you’d call them. The place, whilst important, was open to the public for visits, just so long as you didn’t interfere with daily operations. We were all given white hardhat helmets and reminded to on no account touch or consume unprocessed rainbow material.

“Yeah, they say that,” Dash whispered to me as we moved along. “But I sometimes use it as a quick hangover cure, works wonders, just a bit of a rough ride to go with it.” I chuckled at that, remembering Pinkie’s reaction when she tasted the rainbow. While it may be a quick hangover cure, I had no desire to go through numerous colour changes and ruin my tongue.

As we entered the raincloud production section, a quiet area at this time of year, Dash gave Lizzie a chance to learn a little bit about weather work. She began by forming a small dark grey raincloud from one of the huge machines. It was about the size of my barrel, so not overly large, but more than just a tuft.

“Okay Lizzie, now a pony doing weather work usually has two jobs when it comes to rainclouds; either to start ‘em up or blow ‘em apart. They’re built pretty simple, jumping on top will cause them to start up and kicking them with get rid of them. Why don’t you try it, over here?” She moved the proto-raincloud over to a testing area. “See if you can start it up on your own and then try to knock it out.

With a few flaps of her wings, my little sister got herself on top of the small cloud. After settling herself down on the smaller than normal object she began to do as Dash had instructed. Within seconds, much to her alarm, the cloud rumbled and began to rain heavily. After letting it run for a few moments, she then jumped off and gave it a healthy kick, dissipating it into nothing. Her performance earned approval from all of us. From what Dash had told me before, weather work took a lot of effort and skill. Maybe Lizzie had missed her calling.

We then had a stop at the rainbow factory, and I can safely say nothing untoward goes on there, the rainbows are just that, rainbows, there’s no organic matter in them. The only trying portion of the tour was where we went through the snowflake production area. To this day, the sight of a lone falling snowflake makes me cry like a filly. Dammit, I miss Snowdrop. As we walked through, I had to covertly dab my eyes.

With the tour complete, we all headed back outside, I swapped my hardhat for my usual Stetson; I’d been swapping my hat a lot today. Dash was chatting to my parents about taking Lizzie to see a few ponies she knew in Cloudsdale who might be able to teach her a few tricks. Now that Lizzie had been able to master basic flight, and I do mean basic, Dash was keen to teach her stunts and tricks and wanted to take her to a few places. Apparently, she’d gotten in contact with Spitfire and got permission to use some of the lower level training equipment at the Wonderbolt Academy.

“It’s an advanced flight school,” I said, when my parents asked me and Dash about the place. “It’s supposed to be for the best of the best. Every eight weeks the top one percent of all the weather patrol flyers is selected to attend a five week course and work in teams of two. Dash has been there, it’s a good place to learn more advanced stuff quickly, plus it’s a lot of fun.”

With my parents’ approval, Lizzie and Dash took off and quickly left our sight. We, on the other hand, began to work our way back toward where the balloon was parked. The three of us thanked Twilight for both getting us up here and casting the cloud walking spell. We then released the anchor ropes and drifted downward. I just hoped that Dash wouldn’t try to put Lizzie in the Dizzitron.

Chapter 63 - The Zap Apples are Coming! The Zap Apples are Coming!

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By this point in early April, the grip of winter had loosened completely and vanished in the returning warmth. Flowers blossomed, trees were filled with lush green leaves, and animals of every kind were burdened with the joys of parenting. There was however, one exception to this rule. Only two examples of this anti-springtime phenomenon were to be found; one in the deep, dark depths of the unnatural Everfree Forest, and the other on the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres.

In spite of the season, and in spite of its neighbours contentedly blossoming, growing leaves as well as the beginnings of fruit, one part of the orchard remained bare and lifeless as it did for the majority of the year. Only for seven days could these, on the surface, normal looking trees be found to have anything. And even then, they were temperamental about it, only releasing their crop when they were good and ready.

These were, of course, the famous Zap Apple trees. Without these fantastical, even by Equestria’s standards, plants there would be no zap apple jam which sold by the bucket load every year, bringing in even more money than the cider sales in the autumn. I knew a little bit about them from the twenty minutes or so that I’d seen them, but apart from that I was a novice. I knew that the blossoms first began to appear when timberwolves began to howl and electrical storms manifested over the farm uncommanded by the pegasi. This was then followed by a minor meteor shower, which was the fourth sign in the cycle. A final electrical storm, which also manifested a rainbow gave the unusual apples their namesake colour and allowed them to be harvested. Any attempt to do so before resulted in a severe electric shock.

On its own, this was amazing enough and I looked forward to helping out in the harvest; not least because after seven days the zap apples vanish, not rotting, just vanishing, from the trees. The issue for me was, well, dignity. To properly harvest the zap apples and make zap apple jam, a variety of, eccentric, steps had to be taken.

“Oh don’t be so down, Bones,” Applejack said encouragingly. “We all gotta learn to laugh at ourselves sometime.” She patted me on the back reassuringly.

“Yeah, sure, AJ; Ah suppose so,” I replied, unconsciously pulling my hat lower down on my head. I couldn’t really say I was looking forward to this though. The first sign had begun last night with the howling of the timberwolves, with Granny Smith banging pots and pans as loudly as she could. The leaves would appear on the previously bare trees a day or later.

I suppose I just never did learn to ‘laugh at myself’ as a child, given I garnered enough laughter from my peers. Though I do know at times, I take things far too seriously, MLP for instance. But it did little to soften the blow to my ego that would be caused by my actions over the next few days. The zap apples would appear in four days’ time.

It was now the second day of the zap apples cycle. By sunset tonight, an unnatural wind would blow through the zap apple orchards, electric static charges would shoot up through the plants and the first of the leaves would appear on the trees.

On any other day, I would be doing typical farm work. Tending the apple trees, as I had been since Winter Wrap Up, or maybe checking on the animals; in addition to helping the cattle during winter, we also used pigs, which were not as intelligent as their bovine contemporaries, as a sort of organic waste disposal. Bad apples, rotten ones or bruised ones could obviously not be sold at the Apples’ stand in Ponyville market, plus this way, we also got fresh fertilizer by the bucket load. Then there were the other crops on the farm, Golden Harvest uses some of our land on lease to grow carrots, then there are the corn fields and the grapes. I would happily have tended to any of these aspects of the farm. But no.

Instead of doing that, I was in the kitchen, with a tin of paint and a brush. I don’t know how she knows it, I don’t know how in Celestia’s name it’s possible, but apparently, the zap apples like polka dots and results in a better quality jam. Thus, I was under orders to decorate the entire kitchen with them. Pink polka dots I might add. Of course, the paint wasn’t waterproof; at the end of every harvest it was washed off. However, I couldn’t help but feel it affected the usual rustic, homely nature of the kitchen/dining room that we all used. It sure as hay would make anypony’s hangover worse.

I was however, permitted to use my magic for this task, which made things much easier. When I say the entire kitchen had to be covered, I mean the entire kitchen; including the ceiling. Having magic on my side negated the need for that rickety old step ladder. Applejack assured me the thing was serviceable, but it looked ready to collapse at any moment. As I continued to work, Apple Bloom trotted inside.

“Well hey there, little lady,” I said kindly, the sight of the filly bringing a smile to my previously dull features.

“Blade Star, is somethin’ the matter with ya?” the filly asked, looking at me curiously.

“Ah don’t think so, AB. What makes ya say that?” I replied. The filly paused to paw at the ground a little.

“Well, it’s just, everypony else is getting’ real excited for the zap apples and you seem kinda, angry.” My eyes widened in shock; I hadn’t for a moment thought that I’d let any of my irritation show. The thought that it might have caused Apple Bloom upset made my stomach twist. I put down the paintbrush I’d been using and sat down with her, placing a comforting hoof on her shoulder.

“Oh, Ah ain’t angry, Apple Bloom. Ah guess Ah just feel a mite silly doin’ all this stuff.” I didn’t dare voice my opinion if Granny Smith was in hearing range or even Applejack, but with the youngest of the family, I was willing to impart the odd secret. Plus, she’d been in the same boat not so long ago.

“It’s not that bad,” she countered. “At least ya don’t have to put on one of those bunny costumes and sing to the water. At least, Ah don’t think ya do.” My heart skipped at that, and my cheeks unconsciously flushed at the extremely embarrassing image of me in one of those suits. With Fluttershy, it’s cute and adorable, with me, not so much. Still, we both chuckled.

“Ah just s’pose, AJ’s right; Ah’ve gotta learn to laugh at myself. Trouble is Ah ain’t got the first idea on how to.

“What do ya mean?” I imagine at this point, my expression became wistful and my tone nostalgic. I resettled myself as I began to spin my tale.

“Well, when Ah was just a youngen, er, foal, Ah always took things real seriously, even when Ah was in kindergarten. Ah never did, you know, stuff foals do. Ah never got in trouble, or did somethin’ just for fun. Ah figured if Ah did somethin’ like that, everypony would laugh at me and make fun of me.” Apple Bloom cocked her head to one side.

“But, everypony does stuff like that sometimes,” she said. “And even with all the stuff me, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo do, nopony laughs at us. Well, except that stupid Diamond Tiara.” I sighed to myself; if only I’d had a bully like that annoying filly.

“The difference is AB, that where Ah used to live, bullies were a heck of a lot meaner than Diamond Tiara.” Apple Bloom’s eyes widened in shock. “Ah mean, one time, Ah accidentally called my teacher ‘mom’, and ya can laugh at that. Trouble was that they kept on laughin’, every day, for months and months. They’d play tricks on me and makes jokes all the time. So, Ah got real scared that if Ah did somethin’ else that made ponies laugh, it’d just start all over again.”

“But you’re a grown stallion now, Blade Star. Ponies don’t act like that when they’re grown up.”

“Ah know that, AB. But, Ah’ve been like that since Ah was a kid, so it’s kinda hard to just drop it.” At this point, I realised I’d been throwing a bit of a pity party for myself. “Ah’m sorry, Apple Bloom, this ain’t nothin’ for you to worry yourself ‘bout. Ah’ll get over it in the end.” The filly sensed I didn’t mean what I said and promptly blocked my return to work. She quickly wrapped herself around me in a hug in an attempt to make me feel better.

“Blade Star, can Ah tell ya somethin’?” I nodded. “Ah felt just the same as you did a couple years back. Ah was certain everypony would laugh at me doin’ all the silly things for the zap apple harvest.” I recalled the episode in question fondly, which brought the ghost of a smile to my lips. “It took me ages to realise it, but ya have to understand.”

“Understand what?” I asked.

“Well, it is kinda silly!” the filly exclaimed, jumping up in the air briefly. “We all feel a mite silly singin’ to the water or paintin’ the kitchen up, but we all do it. We can’t laugh at each other though, without laughin’ at ourselves.”

With that, the bit dropped. It wasn’t just me who was doing a few dumb things this week. For some reason, possibly because at times I can be a little self-centred, I had thought that everypony else took the harvest preparations seriously. In reality though, it was all one big joke that we could all laugh about together. I was reminded of the words of General Patton; ‘If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid’.

Apple Bloom watched my little internal monologue with interest before offering to help me out with the kitchen. The two of us had loads of fun, with me levitating the little filly up to the ceiling and then flying her around the room so she could do the painting herself. As were finishing up, we heard the wind pick up outside. Rushing to the kitchen window, we watched the electricity spark and jump between the trees, moments later, the white blossoms appeared and the sky quickly cleared. Outside, by some of the bee hives, I heard Applejack yell.

“Yee-haw! That’s the third sign everypony! The zap apples’ll be comin' tomorrow.”

Exactly as Applejack predicted, the apples did appear the next day. Whilst the previous three stages had been preceded with ominous metaphors, such as the timberwolves howling late at night, or the sudden appearing and disappearing storm clouds, the fourth stage was actually a beautiful sight to behold. Presumably by Luna’s command, shooting stars appeared in the evening sky dashing across the horizon like quicksilver. The blossoms all fell away and floated from the trees, leaving apples in their place. However, they were not quite ripe just yet and lacked the rainbow stripped colour for which they were famous.

Having got over my stupid and foalish inhibitions the day before, I happily helped out with the continued preparations for the harvest. I was sent out to the Ponyville market to buy new pots and pans; zap apple jam amongst its other properties corrodes metal quite quickly, so new pans were needed for each harvest. Granny Smith was very specific on what kind of pans she needed, going so far as to describe the brittleness of the metal and encouraging me to attempt to bite the pans as I would a suspect bit.

Now, I did indeed check the pans while I was at the market, but with Twilight’s help; the mare was also out shopping with Spike when I bumped into her. Having been warned by the stall owner ‘You bite it; you buy it!’ I consulted her on ways to analyse the metal without ruining my teeth. To that end, Twilight taught me a simple spell used by a lot of unicorn metal workers. It temporarily altered my vision colour coding the metal based on its strength. While quite a specialised skill, it was something to add to my repertoire and I purchased only the strongest of pans.

I returned to find Granny Smith, with Apple Bloom in attendance, lecturing the various assembled glass jars that the jam was to be stored and sold in. On each of the ponies heads was a helmet you’d expect to find on an American G.I.. Granny stalked back and forth in front of the jars on the kitchen table, yelling at them in a manner similar to a drill sergeant. As I looked on, one of the glass jars literally cracked, possibly due to the sheer volume of Granny’s lecturing. This resulted in the jar being unceremoniously discarded and the other ones presumably shaking in their non-existent boots.

With my part done for the day, I headed outside again to wander around the zap apple orchards. They were truly fascinating trees; and despite the many harvests over the years, they were still not fully understood. It can safely be assumed that the trees themselves are magical in some way; I’ve yet to see any other tree interact so closely with the environment or grow at such a rapid pace without the use of radiation. Then of course, it is known that wild zap apple trees are native to the Everfree Forest, where magic is in a constant state of flux, wild in and of itself, controlled only by the Tree of Harmony. There was nothing wrong about them; the magic was positive, it was just that it wasn’t controllable. A zap apple tree cannot be harvested before it is ready to be.

The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon as I reached the furthest point in my walk. Due to the sheer demand for zap apple jam each year, the orchard was about four times the size of a typical apple plantation. The stars were just beginning to appear in the sky and any time now the changing of the guard would occur. Naturally, the spirit of chaos and disharmony could not let that go by unchallenged.

“Is it ready yet? Is it? Is it? Is it?” the draconequus asked with excitement, literally bouncing up and down on the spot just as Pinkie likes to do.

“The harvest starts tomorrow, Discord,” I replied, for once forcing myself not to sigh. “And since when do you like zap apple jam anyway?” Discord looked at me in surprise.

“Blade Star! The idea that anypony cannot like zap apple jam! I…I need to sit down a moment.” Snapping his talons, he summoned himself a small chair and sat down a look of shock on his features. Perhaps he ought to go into the theatre as a second job.

It was then that a plan began to form in my mind, and a devious one at that. Since I met him, Discord has hit me with more than a few practical jokes, the last of which being my brief ascension to alicorn-hood. I saw an opportunity for some light revenge, so I took it. Looking at a tree in contemplation, I began my little charade.

“Hmm, this one looks just about ripe, Discord. Ah suppose if we harvested it now, Granny could make a few jars or so.” Discord’s slightly unsettling eyes became pleading. “Tell ya what, why don’t you have a go at harvesting them?” And thus a car crash in slow motion began.

Cracking his knuckles and stretching to make himself limber, Discord went over to the ‘ripe’ zap apple tree. He projected an air of confidence about himself. This of course promptly vanished when the tree was struck. Giving the tree a swift kick in an attempt to dislodge the apples, it somehow charged up with electricity and gave the very surprised draconequus a mild electric shock that sent him flying, landing a few feet from the tree. He eventually propped himself up, putting a lion paw against his spinning head.

“There,” I said triumphantly. “Now will you wait?” Discord nodded unsteadily, still a bit shocked from the tree’s reaction. He then snapped his talons and disappeared, leaving me feeling a little happy at getting one up on him.

“Hayseed, Bones, Ah bet that had to hurt,” called a voice; it was Applejack, come to fetch me for dinner. I cracked a smile.

“He had it comin’, ‘Jack,” I replied. “Besides, it won’t hurt him that much; it didn’t do anythin’ to Sweetie Belle last time now did it? Plus, it was kinda nice to get a bit of revenge on him.” Applejack trotted over to me, and wrapping me in a hug, gave me a peck on the cheek.

“Oh, horseapples, Bones. Ya shouldn’t be holdin’ on to grudges like that. Life’s too short for all that fussin’. Plus, ya know how Ah feel ‘bout ponies trickin’ each other anyway.” I kissed her back.

“Ah know, ‘Jack. Ah know.”

We sat there, under the zap apple trees for some time, watching the sun go down. That’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re in love with somepony isn’t it; watch the sunset? Try as I might, I still haven’t been able to shake the feeling that this shouldn’t be happening. I know I like Applejack, I know I love her. But where does all that lead in the end?

I didn’t need to think about it, nor did I want to. At that point all I was fussed about was the mare leaning beside me. All that mattered was what was happening now. And at that particular moment, a great many things happened.

With the sun just about to set, clouds formed all over the farm and rain hammered down. Quite quickly, the two of us found our hats drooping and our manes and coats getting matted, sticking to our sides. In the space of a few seconds, we were thoroughly soaked to the skin by the sudden, rapid downpour. If nothing else, to avoid catching a cold, we both took shelter under one of the zap apple trees. Since the rain had just started, it kept most of the rain off us. After a few more moments of downpour, the heavens parted and the sun shone again. The result was naturally, a rainbow above the zap apple orchard. This quickly became solid and rainbows began to dash around above our heads as the trees hummed with electrical energy. One by one, each touched by the rainbow, the apples gained their signature rainbow colour. In the dying sunlight, it was a beautiful sight to behold. As the display ended, Applejack turned to me, her forelegs still wrapped around me.

“Well, that’s it, the zap apples are ready. C’mon, let’s go tell Granny; we’ve got five days to clear everythin’ before they vanish.” We quickly galloped back to the house to tell everypony else. The ripening process had come a few hours early. We were now on the clock; five days to harvest everything, lest our produce vanish into thin air. It was going to be a busy week. But I had far more important issue to think about. Like how AJ looks when she’s dripping wet.

Chapter 64 - Zap Apple Harvest

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The next morning, it was as if Applebuck Season had come early. At five o’clock sharp, AJ roused everypony, in the case of Apple Bloom literally throwing her out of bed, and got us all working. After a quick breakfast that we all pretty much wolfed down, we all headed out to the zap apple orchards. Even in the early morning light, the rainbow coloured fruit was a sight to behold.

With a seven day deadline now steadily ticking away, we all got to work quickly, noses to the grindstone and all that. Following what we usually did during Applebuck Season, the orchard was divided up into three segments; one for Applejack, one for Big Mac, and one for me. I’d say each of us probably had around a hundred or so trees each to clear. Now, if it was just bucking them, nothing could be simpler; three hundred trees in seven days was easy, no more than forty or so trees each day. The problem was that we also had to set up the baskets for the trees and haul them to a barn for storage.

Each tree took four baskets to catch the falling apples. When the tree was cleared, which in my case usually took three or four solid hits, the baskets had to be taken back to the barns and emptied. This is why Sweet Apple Acres has lots of small barns all over the shop. Nopony wants to have to haul four baskets all the way back to the house every time. Even so, you had to take the baskets to the nearest barn, empty them and then take them all back to the next tree, then do it all over again. How do you fancy doing that forty or so times every day?

It took around a week or so to complete Applebuck Season with three ponies working flat out. And even then, we’d only finished so early due to an act of providence. Normally, it would take the better part of a fortnight. Worse still, the barn which we’d had demolished last week had been one of the zap apple barns. Zap apples didn’t usually start to appear until late May or early June. The fact that they’d appeared in April had left everypony confused. Though as Equestria doesn’t have ‘climate change’ everypony was content to chalk it up to the unstable magic the trees possessed.

By eight o’clock, we’d been going for roughly four hours. The muscles in my hind legs were burning just as they had done during Applebuck Season, only now I couldn’t afford to ease up. The farm used the massive profits from the zap apple jam sales and our cut from Barnyard Bargains to make a sort of safety net, in case of any sort of crop failure, or lower yield. If we didn’t get these trees harvested, we’d lose that net.

“How ya doin’, Bones?” Applejack called from her own line. I’d just finished pulling the baskets back for what felt like the umpteenth time. With that barn not rebuilt yet, we had to go a lot further to get to a storage barn. Sweat was pouring down my face, and it wasn’t even noon on the first day!

“Ah’m still alive, ‘Jack. Holdin’ strong,” I replied, in an effort to power through the pain. I certainly wasn’t going to complain; we were all feeling the burn. “How ‘bout you, Big Mac, ya holdin’ up okay?” A wheezing sound followed.

“Eeyup.”

This was the last few days of Applebuck Season all over again, and we couldn’t count on a rabbit stampede to come and save us this time. We kept at it though, and eventually I began to get a kind of rhythm going. To help things along, AJ had agreed to let me use my magic to haul the baskets to and from the barn too, which meant we had a spare cart just in case. By about ten o’clock we were all starting to hit ‘the wall’ and it was only going to get hotter, so Applejack called a halt to work. The three of us limped our way back to the farmhouse, our muscles constantly twitching from exertion.

Granny Smith and Apple Bloom were waiting for us when we got back. We’d be guzzling down gallons of Apple juice to keep ourselves hydrated and eating as much as we could over our fairly short lunch break. Neither the elderly matriarch, nor the young filly could really help with bucking the apples, but they were by no means idle.

As soon as the zap apples reached them, the two quickly set to work on turning them into jar after jar of fresh zap apple jam. This meant chopping up and turning the apples into a puree. After that the sugar was added to the mix and stirred together. Then, the whole mixture was poured into the various pots and pans I’d bought a couple of days ago. Placed on the gas cooker, the jam was brought to a rolling boil (it keeps bubbling furiously even when stirred) and the jam quickly became more of a liquid. Due to both the high temperatures in play and the corrosive nature of the mixture, even the toughest pans would only last about two or three batches before they cracked or corroded. The scum then had to be removed from the surface and the mixture cooled.

When that step is completed, only Granny Smith knows what happens. She sent Apple Bloom out of the kitchen each time for a minute or so, whilst she added the secret ingredient to the mixture. When that is fully mixed in the fresh and still hot jam is ladled into the specially selected jars and left to cool. Then, just like us, the process starts all over again.

By the time we got in for our first break, the kitchen was like a sauna, even with all the windows open and every fan in the house going full chaff. So nopony was getting it easy over the harvest. We all pulled ourselves into the living room and collapsed on whatever seating we could lay our hooves on.

“How in the name of Celestia do ya do this every year, ‘Jack?” I asked as my sides heaved painfully. After breathing heavily for a moment, she replied.

“Just think how tough it is when it was just me and Big Macintosh doin’ the harvest, Bones,” she replied. “Don’t worry, first day or two’s the toughest. Once we get into the swing of things it’ll get easier. And once we get ‘bout a third of the way through, it’ll be easier to walk to the barns; we’re workin’ our way towards ‘em remember.” I took what she had said on board, nodding my head as best I could.

Around a half hour later, we were back at it again. And I’ll be damned if it wasn’t summer in April. The sun beat down mercilessly upon us, causing us to sweat and pant. I was reminded of that old phrase ‘mad dogs and Englishmen stay out in the noon day sun’. We continued to toil away, striking the trees and hauling the baskets becoming increasingly difficult. Even my own magic was starting to strain with the sheer amount of demand being put upon it. About two hours in, Applejack called over to me again.

“Hey, Bones!” I paused to wipe the steaming sweat from my face before replying.

“Yeah, AJ?”

“Ya always said ya liked to sing to take your mind off work. Got any songs to keep us goin’?” I thought for a moment, the slightly insane Lunar zealot half of me offering up the perfect tune.

“Alright, sure,” I replied, and with that I began to sing. The tune was dark and somewhat depressed, but it had a spark of brightness to it, and I think it suited our current displeasure with the sun quite well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAfHigPsC_s

Oh, I’m a good ol’ rebel, now that's just what I am,
And for Celestia's nation, I do not care a damn.
I'm glad I fought against her; I only wish we'd won.
An’ I don’t want no pardon for anythin’ I've done.

I hate Celestia's nation and everything they do.
I hate those bloody Elements of Harmony too.
I hate the rising sunlight, t'is dripping with our blood.
And I hate their Solar banner, I fought it all I could.

I marched with Princess Luna from the day she called my name.
Got wounded in four places but fought on, just the same.
I caught the rheumatism a'campin' in the snow.
But I killed a chance of Bright Lights and I'd like to kill some more.

Three hundred thousand Bright Lights are stiff in Equestrian dust.
We got three hundred thousand before they conquered us
They died of Lunar magic and Lunar steel and shot,
I wish they were three million instead of what we got.

I cannot draw my sabre and fight 'em now no more,
But I ain't gonna love 'em, now that is certain sure.
And I don't want no pardon for what I was and am,
Send me up there with her 'cause I don’t care a damn.

The song certainly fitted with our current dislike for the nuclear reactor in the sky that seemed to be doing its upmost to kill us. But to be honest, in spite of my preference for the coolness of the night over the burning day, I do not bear any animosity toward Celestia. In fact, one of the many reasons I loathe and despise Chrysalis is because of what the evil witch did to the benevolent, maternal diarch. Today, there is still a fair bit of infighting between the two sections of the Royal Guard over who was right and wrong; there probably always will be. And while it is true I stand with Luna, I will not decry Celestia as a criminal for what she did. As far as I am concerned, she banished a thing, which wrongfully took Luna’s name and title. Still, would it really kill her to turn down the heat? Or maybe let us work through an extra-long night?

We worked on until midday and we all steadily began to break into our second wind, the work steadily becoming easier as we neared the barn. Mind you, we were still exhausted every time we returned to the farmhouse to rest and hydrate.

Eventually though, we hit our mark, going up to a total of fifty trees harvested. Having reached our target, Applejack called a final halt to our labours and the three of us simply sank down where we stood. After summoning the energy to put all of our kit back in the nearby barn ready for tomorrow, we all headed back to the farmhouse. Luckily, with all the cookers now off, and all the zap apple jam cooled, it was far more tolerable than it was on our previous short visits.

Granny Smith and Apple Bloom, whilst not as exhausted as us, were still more than glad that the day was over. All we had to do was repeat it six more times. Dinner was a simple, quiet affair. Granny had pretty much run out of puff to cook anything too complex, so we settled on sandwiches and some leftover stew. After that, we all, as one, headed off to bed. Above all else, the one thing I craved now was rest.

I ‘awoke’ to find myself on that familiar hillside, bathed in the light of the silver moon. At least here my muscles no longer ached from overwork. Luna, her horn still glowing slightly, settled herself down beside me.

“A pony who dreams of going to bed and falling asleep, Blade Star, is one of two things. Either he has lost his grip on reality, and is no longer able to tell when he is dreaming, or he is exceedingly tired.” I chuckled at her comment.

“Tired doesn’t even begin to dent it, Luna. Zap apples came early this year, so we’re workin’ flat out over the next week. An’ for some reason your sister seems intent on cookin’ us.” The dark blue alicorn placed a comforting wing around me.

“The idea behind these little excursions is to provide rest and relief, Blade Star. Do not think yourself an exception to that role. These nights are supposed to relax you as well. Come, choose a locale for us to travel to.” I thought for a moment, at this point I wanted something where I could just sit back and relax and just rest my mind. I also quite fancied going somewhere cool, with snow maybe. An idea quickly came to me.

Doing my best to concentrate on the dream world I intended to form, I watched as the hillside we sat upon once again vanished. The same effect as last time occurred; the world to begin with was distorted and blurred. But as Luna worked her literal magic, it quickly stabilised.

We found ourselves standing on the platform of a busy railway station. From end to end, attendants were loading bags and supplies, passengers were boarding, passes were checked by officials. Luna and I had once again had costumes applied. While not quite as opulent as our visit to the Sands, our outfits would have been sufficient to garner approval from Rarity. The style was clearly something from an earlier period and in this instance denoted Luna’s lineage of royal blood. As the dream stabilised, Luna turned to me.

“And where have you brought us this time, Blade Star?” she enquired, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the cacophony of noises that filled the station.

“Istanbul, on the European side. Sometime in either the late 1920’s or the early 30’s Ah’d say. This is the main railway station. Head to that conductor, the guy in the black and red suit; he’ll get us on board.”

“You are taking me on a train ride, Blade Star?” I cracked a smile.

“Not just any old train, Luna. Take a look at the name on the carriage.” Luna turned to examine one of the passenger cars. Even the simple Pullman was quite opulent in design, and it ought to have been, given the famous name and seal that adorned each coach.

“Orient Express?” Luna asked, examining the artistry on the coach.

“Yes. It starts here at Istanbul, goes through Sofia and Belgrade in the Balkans, then up to Venice and Milan, through the Simplon tunnel toward Lausanne in Switzerland, and finally Paris and Calais. It’s regarded as one of the best train journeys in the world. We’ll only travel as far as Venice, but Ah assure you, you’ll enjoy it.”

The two of us headed over to the conductor to board the coach that would take us as far as Venice. It was a sleeper car, just two cars down from the dining car and in front of the Pullman. Waiting for us was one of the train’s conductors.

“Evening,” I said, as we trotted up to the conductor. “Ah take it my usual compartment number 6 is free?” The conductor went pale for a moment, before responding in a French accent.

“Oh, pardon Monsieur Star. But I’m afraid the Venice coach is full. It seems as if the entire world seeks to travel tonight.” He promptly bowed his head in an apology. This was odd, considering it was a dream.

“What?” I exclaimed. Before the attendant could reply, I continued. “Has Bulgaria declared war on Turkey? Are the aristocracy fleeing the country? Ah am a director of the line, and Princess Luna is not only a lady of great distinction, but she is also my personal friend.”

“I am terribly sorry, Monsieur. Madame le Princesse. But there is not a single sleeping berth left on the Venice coach.” The poor fellow seemed more than a little embarrassed by the issue. I wracked my brains for a moment. It wouldn’t do for us to be left standing on the platform now would it? Of course, this whole scenario had already been worked out.

“What about the Calais coach? Isn’t the number four compartment always kept free for exactly this kind of situation?” I enquired. After checking, the attendant promptly escorted us a little ways down the train to just behind the dining car. We would have to share compartments, but we wouldn’t be here for that long.

We quickly boarded the Calais coach and worked our way down the corridor which connected the various compartments to the rest of the train. Directly behind us was the Pullman and in front of us was the dining car. Once the train was underway, we would head up that way for an early dinner.

Almost as soon as we were aboard and settled into our compartment, the staff began to bang the doors closed and the whistles blew. In response the train blew its own whistle twice, and from our compartment window, we could see people back away from the train. With a loud hiss the brakes were released and with a steadily increasing rhythm of huffing and puffing, the train began to pull out of the station. Next stop; Sofia, Bulgaria.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKdnXwFz5Zc

After watching the countryside roll by at around fifty miles an hour for little while, the two of us headed forward through the train to the dining car. Like everything else about this service it was opulent to the extreme. Even at these speeds, it was easy enough to stay on your feet; though the fact that we were both quadrupeds might have had something to do with it. By my reckoning it was getting on for about six o’clock local time, and it was starting to grow dark.

The two of us settled ourselves down at one of the tables, like our time at the Sands, we would be treated to the very best. The staff took personal orders from a wide variety of dishes and did their best to accommodate them. I was again thankful for the advantages the dream state provided; I doubt even the modern Orient Express has the ability to serve up a side order of hay fries. Whilst we waited on dinner, we began to happily chat. Eventually, I moved the discussion towards Applejack.

“Say, Luna. Ya know Applejack and me have been sort of goin’ out for a few weeks now.” The Lunar princess nodded as she set her black china tea down. “Well, Ah wanted to ask you; you can stabilise my dreams or anypony else’s, but can ya link dreams together?” Again she nodded.

“I have used that particular facet of my skills on a few occasions, Blade Star. What do you have in mind?” Taking this as a sign she would probably agree, I explained.

“Well, Ah’ve taken you on a couple of little trips now, and Ah was kinda hoping Ah could maybe do the same with Applejack.” Luna smiled knowingly.

“I see how it is. You wish to take your marefriend out on a date, no?” I blushed a little. If only there was a spell that could stop that.

“It’s just, what with the farm and all, we don’t have that much free time to go anywhere. You’ve enjoyed these visits to my old world.”

“Indeed I have.”

“So, Ah just want to do something special for her. Would you be okay helpin’ out?” Luna sat back for a moment and looked out the window at the countryside, as it rushed past in the oncoming twilight.

“You wish me to, for your own gain, abandon my royal duties for the night, cease walking the dreams of everypony else and close my Night Court, all so you may woo a pretty mare?” She fixed her eyes, which now held a cold glare on me. Uh oh, not the reaction I had predicted.

“No, no, no. Ah didn’t mean that at all. Ah only meant it…” My desperate backpedalling was promptly cut off as Luna burst into laughter.

“Oh Blade Star! As if I would be so cruel to you.” She placed a hoof under my chin. “Of course it is not an issue. I’ve done such for many ponies on dozens of occasions. Linking dreams is no more difficult that what I am doing now. I often use it as a way for two disputing ponies in court to settle their problems. Set things up with dear Applejack and then let me know when you are both ready.” I had been surprised by her hostile reaction before, but this was still slightly odd.

“What?” she asked as I continued to look on. “Just because our adopted niece is the Princess of Love does not mean I cannot dabble too.

With that settled we continued to chat and enjoy the evening. Luna also got into conversation with a number of passengers from the Calais coach including a rather small, portly Belgian gentleman who was travelling to Calais on his way to London. The two of them seemed to get along quite well. As the two of us prepared to head back to the compartment to ironically wake up, she wished him well.

“Good evening then, Monsieur Poirot. I hope you enjoy your time in London.” It was only then that it dawned on me who she had been conversing with. I would check with Twilight to see if one of Agatha Christie’s most famous of novels had successfully made it to Equestria. As we returned Luna again assured me that she would be happy to help out with my ‘date’ if you want to call it that. Provided of course, that her own excursions continued in the intervening period. Since she seemed to get on well with the detective, I considered a few relevant locales. Hay, perhaps I could mix things up a bit and play out stories in the dreams. With that, and a final farewell, I awoke to the rooster’s call.

That morning it was all hands to the pump once again. It was still quite warm outside, although today there were a few clouds lying about, courtesy of the Weather Patrol. Even better, when Rainbow saw what were up to and the effect the sun was having, she promptly moved a few of the larger clouds over the zap apple orchard to give us at least a little shade.

She also had Lizzie along with her; my sister had another four days before Discord’s stupid transformation spell would finally pack in. Still, she seemed to be enjoying things at least. That’s what my sister does: she’s very good at simply dealing with problems and not letting them worry her. I on the other hand, can sometimes get like Twilight and stress over every little thing. She certainly seemed to have picked up a few things on weather work, as she helped RD move several of the clouds into position.

As for me and the Apples, whilst the work was still hard, it was not as difficult as the previous day. As Applejack had told me, we were steadily moving towards the storage barn where we were keeping the majority of zap apples until they were hauled back to the farm. So whilst each tree still had to be cleared, we didn’t have to haul the heavy carts nearly as far as before. And as we continued, it would only get easier. But it was by no means plain sailing.

Things continued in this manner for the next couple of days. Each day we got nearer and nearer to our goal of completing the harvest. We all began to draw ever closer to the barn, which marked the proverbial finishing line. The majority of the orchard was once again bare and the barn was getting full as were the vast numbers of zap apple jars. Granny was already starting to send off the first hundred jars, as per the Apple’s unwritten contract with Filthy Rich. It was as we were coming towards the end of the final day of the harvest that I plucked up the courage to ask Applejack.

“Hey, Applejack?” I called as we continued to work our way through the last dozen or so trees.

“Yeah, Bones?” she replied. Neither of us were struggling for breath any more. These last few tress were a breeze to get through. Not that I’d desire the alternative.

“Ah was thinkin’, we’ve all been working like beavers this past week. How ‘bout a little trip somewhere?” Applejack promptly shook her head.

“Sorry, Bones. Ya know we can’t just up and leave the farm like that. Zap apple harvest may be over but there’s still work to do round here.” Time to play my ace in the hole.

“Ah never said we’d have to go anywhere now did Ah, ‘Jack,” I replied a little slyly. Applejack paused in her work to look at me in confusion.

“Er, don’t the whole idea of a getaway mean, well, gettin’ away, Bones?” I smiled.

“And we will, ‘Jack. But Ah can also promise ya we won’t have to leave the farm. And we can have a couple of days away in just a night.” Applejack now looked decidedly concerned.

“Sugarcube, ya don’t think, maybe you’ve been workin’ too hard do ya?” she asked, worry clear in her voice. I let myself laugh a little.

“No, AJ, nothin’ like that. Ah meant what if we could dream about it.” I explained how I’d managed to strike a deal with Luna and how we would be able to share our dream, doing whatever we wanted to and going wherever we wanted. Her attitude did a quick one eighty.

“Land sakes, Bones! That’s sounds amazin’!” she exclaimed. But then though, her expression turned somewhat sly and she came closer to me. “This wouldn’t happen to be, some sort of date now, would it, Sugarcube?” she asked, getting unusually close to me. I could tell she was playing around though.

“Would it change your answer if it was?” I asked, mirroring her attitude. In response the orange mare kissed me on the cheek before setting about hauling the last of the zap apples back to the house, leaving me to stand there.

I had a date.

I had a date with Applejack.

Oh boy.

Interlude 11 - Visiting Friends

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I had to set down my cup of coffee as the two of us broke out into laughter. It’s always fun swapping stories about your kids. There’s always some new, mad way they’ve thought of to get themselves into trouble.

“Anyway, the silly lad’s standing there, completely unaware of what’s going on and says ‘What’s the matter, Mum?’” I said as I finished the story. The two of us burst out laughing again.

“Oh, that’s nothing,” my companion countered. “I remember a couple years ago, Button managed to somehow get his hooves on one of those Playcolt magazines, hadn’t got the faintest idea what it was, but knew it’d be bad if I got wind of it. I still think it was one his brother had somehow managed to get a hold of. So, one morning I’m doing the dishes, minding my own business, when I hear this ‘ahhhh’ come from Button’s room.”

“Cue breech and clear, right?” I asked her.

“Yep, I burst in, and he’s sitting there, looking at this centrefold completely mortified.” It was great to chat and relax like this.

It was Saturday today, so there was no school. However, I had apparently earned some brownie points from a number of the parents for what happened during the inspection and one of the mums, a lovely mare called Milano had asked me to drop by. She was the mother of the aptly named Button Mash, one of the more, trying students at the school. I swear, even my own son didn’t play as many video games as that little colt does. Still, he’s a good kid at heart.

I’d met Milano at the little shindig Pinkie had thrown for me after I got all my qualifications accepted. I’ve taken a few classes on my own since then, letting Cheerilee grab forty winks and catch up on marking. I met Milano, who was there with Button. We fell into conversation and she eventually invited me over for a cup of coffee on Saturday.

It had been ages since I’d been able to do something like this. Of course, I have my husband, but it’s nice to talk to another woman (or mare rather) every now and again. Back on Earth, I used to go out to see friends all the time. I’d go and see both of the kids godmothers, a few friends from back when I worked at various schools, all sorts really. And like back home, Ponyville is a place where everypony knows everypony, so there’s always someone to chat to. Plus, as we were both veterans of parenting (she and I both had two kids) we could happily swap stories. And, it cheered her up regarding her own husband, who was often not around due to his work.

Milano was a wonderful pony, a natural mother and a great parent (as demonstrated by her cutie mark) for a teacher to work with. If I told her Button was letting his grades slip, that night, she’d cut off his games and make sure he got his work done. On the flip side, if he walked out with an A on his test, she’d always do her best to reward him. Parents usually either are too harsh or too lenient; she seemed to get the balance just right.

Their home was lovely as well. It was a lot like the house I now lived in; not overly large, but it had the feeling of a home rather than just a building. Although of course, you had to watch your step lest you step on an errant game cartridge. I may not know lots about video games, but having raised a son who thrived on them, even I could tell Equestria was a few years behind Earth. At least in the West; they might have one up over Pyongyang Racer.

“So how’s Button been taking to you since you started full time?” Milano asked.

“Pretty well I suppose; they all had a fair bit of time to get used to me when I was just helping Cheerilee out. Really the only ones who give me any trouble are Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Spoilt rotten they are.” Milano nodded and made an affirmative noise as she sipped her own coffee.

“Filthy Rich may not always play fair, but he’s still a decent pony most of the time; nowhere near as nasty as that wife of his. He's just a doting father, it's her mother that's the problem.” It occurred to me that I'd never met Diamond's mother; she never came to meetings or school events, and yet according to Cheerilee, she was on the board of governors.

“Maybe it’s just because they’re fillies,” I offered. “God knows how vindictive some of the girls in Lizzie’s school were. All the mothers in the world couldn’t make them decent folk. Now colts on the other hand, they don’t snipe at each other do they? Or form those cliques.”

“To be fair, that’s usually because they’re too busy punching each other,” Milano replied jokingly. “How’s your own colt doing anyway? Though I suppose he’s really a stallion now.” I almost spewed my coffee across the table. That is one expression I will never get used to.

“Sorry,” I said as I dabbed my mouth with a napkin. “Just that phrase has a bit of a different meaning back on Earth.” Milano looked perplexed. “I suppose he’s doing okay for the moment. I miss not having him living with us from time to time, but it’s good to see him setting out on his own, and Lizzie too. I’m still not quite sure what’s happening with him and Applejack though. Still, he’s got himself an honest job and he pays his way; I couldn’t be more proud of the way he turned out.”

We kept swapping stories about our respective offspring until Milano moved the topic to what we were drinking.

“Hey, you fancy something a little stronger than that?” she gestured to my coffee. Well, it was gone three in the afternoon by this point. We’d been chatting for a couple hours now. Couldn’t hurt.

“Sure, why not.” Milano promptly got up and headed over to one of the many cabinets that lined the wall of the kitchen. We’d been sitting down at the little breakfast table since I arrived. Being an earth pony, and lacking the magic of unicorns, she had to use her hooves to open the door and pick up the glasses. I still have no idea how that’s possible, but since everypony seems able to do it, I pay it no mind. Opening one of the cupboards up, she fetched down two clear wine glasses and set them down on the kitchen worktop.

She then walked over to the large 1950’s style refrigerator that sat behind me. Rooting around, she pulled out a medium size bottle of red wine. Some of Berry Punch’s stash I’d like to bet. It was from Prance so I figured it would be pretty good. Setting the two glasses down on the table in the place of our coffee, she opened the bottle and gave the liquid inside a few minutes to breathe. While I’m no connoisseur (though we all pretend to be when drinking wine) I know even a great wine will taste sub-par if just opened and drunk.

After waiting a minute or so, chatting, Milano poured both herself and me a fairly generous glass, before corking the bottle, which still had about two thirds left in it, and putting it back in the fridge.

We continued chatting, the wine doing a little to loosen our tongues. Though I must be honest, it was nice to just go and chat with a friend like this. Eventually, the two of us left the kitchen and sat down on the sofa in the living room; a much more comfortable place to natter. Since it seemed neither of us had much of a tolerance for alcohol (I tend to break out in giggles after half a glass) and we were soon both laughing and joking, and the conversation quickly moved onto the antics of our spouses. For both our sakes, I’m not going to reveal what we both said; neither of us needs to embarrass the other. However, by the time the clock struck four we’d gone over into hen night territory in terms of what was being discussed.

Eventually, I prepared to head out and go back to the house; I still had a few dozen spelling tests to mark before Monday.

“Well, I had best be off,” I said as I stood carefully; that wine had a fair kick to it. “It’s been really nice chatting with you, Milano. Why don’t you drop by the house sometime next week; we could make a habit of this.”

“Sure, I’d love to,” Milano replied, equally struggling to get to her hooves. “It’s been ages since I’ve been able to just have somepony come round for a chat. I’d love to meet that husband of yours too.”

“Oi, back off, he’s mine,” I replied jokingly. Still laughing, the two of us walked to the out to the hallway.

“Alright, I’ll see you sometime next week, and if I get the chance I’ll hang around awhile after I pick up Button on Monday.” She briefly got onto her hind legs, making her actually an inch or so taller than me and gave me a brief hug. I then set off back towards home. I’d thread my way through the town, past the market and then head back home. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt to see if there were any offers going on. Ponyville market is something like a souk at times; you have to haggle. For a Briton, it’s like being on the Antiques Roadshow.

As it turned out though, I didn’t even have a chance to reach the market before I bumped into another of Ponyville’s residents. I was making my way through town and was just passing by Carousel Boutique; Rarity’s home and place of business, when the white, fashion obsessed unicorn galloped out the front door and called out to me. Realising it would be pointless to run, I put off my trip to the market to talk to her.

Rarity is a good friend of mine; she was one of the first ponies I ever met when I arrived here in Equestria. Without a farthing to my name, she made me, my husband and my daughter a full set of clothes each. Then when the rift had briefly reopened just after Christmas, or Hearth’s Warming as it is known here, she had taken the various clothes of ours that had come through and repaired virtually all the damage on them. Clothes that had been getting on for a few years old now looked as new as if I’d bought them the day before.

However, whilst she is a great friend, she is also a shameless gossip. Not as bad as some other ponies, in fact she stopped going to Roseluck’s ‘book club’ when she realised it was just a place to badmouth other ponies. Nevertheless though, she can and will spread gossip like wildfire. So it is not that I do not like to talk to her, it’s just that I have to occasionally watch what I say.

“Oh, Margaret, glad I caught you, darling. I’ve just about finished the repair work on that lovely purple raincoat you sent me,” (it needed the zip fixed and some of the Velcro redone) “If you have a moment to spare I’ll gladly get it back to you now.”

That’s the other side of Rarity. Yes, she is a gossip and yes, she is obsessed with fashion. But she is also the Element of Generosity, and boy does it show. She’d first told me it would probably take a week for her to get round to fixing my coat. But when the weather team announced a change in schedule to include a rainstorm on Tuesday, she’d evidently redoubled her efforts and got it done in three days. It’s this side of her that makes it impossible to hold any animosity against her occasional gossiping, and as I said, there are far worse out there.

“Sure, Rarity. I was only heading to the market anyway.” I followed the white mare back toward her shop. “How did you manage to get everything sorted so quickly anyway? I thought you said you needed to get the Velcro from Manehatten.” Rarity nodded as we entered the shop.

“Indeed I did, darling. Nevertheless, I assure you it is all done and ready. And you should also know a magician,” she paused to levitate a few of her tools and tidy them away. "Never reveals her secrets.” Whilst Twilight was simply brilliant at all spells sent her way, Rarity excelled in terms of magical dexterity. Her ability to levitate multiple objects was very impressive, as was her ability to root out buried gems. Some of those were the size of my fist. As she headed into the back of the store, with me standing in the shop front, Rarity kept up the conversation.

“So how have you been keeping, darling? Still being kept busy with school I take it?” I nodded an affirmative as I called back to her.

“No more than I can handle. It certainly makes both my and Cheerilee’s lives a lot easier.”

“And how has Sweetie Belle been doing? I know that filly has a tendency to try and coast through at times on her homework.”

“No, she’s really had her nose to the grindstone. She managed to get herself an A on that report on family trees.” At that point, Rarity returned, my old coat, now looking brand new held in her magic.

“You never cease to amaze me with how well you can touch up old clothes, Rarity,” I said as I took the coat from her and draped it over my forearm. “You aren’t pushing yourself too hard are you?” Generosity can be just as much a flaw as a virtue if taken to the extreme after all.

“Oh no, darling, I learnt my lesson on Nightmare Night a couple of years ago. Poor Sweetie Belle found me passed out in the middle of the shop trying to fill orders. I’ve not taken on nearly as much work since then. Still, I do have to get back to work on a few pieces for a client in Baltimare.”

Taking that as my cue to leave, I bid Rarity good day and headed on toward the market place. I was glad for the coat to be sure; ominous looking clouds were already starting to form in the sky as the pegasi carefully manoeuvred them into position. As I watched the display, I even managed to spot Rainbow Dash helping another pegasus with a medium size cloud. On closer inspection I realised it was Lizzie. They all looked pretty busy so I decided not to bother them, but Lizzie seemed to be enjoying herself. Dash had said several times that my daughter had all the making of a good weather pony. With that, I reached the market.

By the time I reached the market, it was just gone half past four, and most of the stalls were getting ready to close up for the night in about half an hour’s time. It was still quite busy however, with a fair few ponies milling about doing their best to snag a few last minute deals. As for me, I quickly wound my way through the various stalls, picking up my shopping as I went. Most of the stalls I stopped by were food stalls, though I did also take the time to get a few flowers from Lily. Ponies may find them a good snack, but personally, I prefer to put them in a vase in the hall.

The last item on my list (yes I write lists, though not nearly as much as Twilight does) was to pick up a few apples so I could cook up some apple crumble after lunch tomorrow. That meant going to Ponyville’s biggest monopoly; the Apples’ stand. Usually, this is looked after by either Applejack or her older brother. Big Mac and I in particular get on really well; he’s a great guy once you get to know him. But today, oddly enough, it was not Big Mac who was sitting behind the counter, but my son.

“I didn’t know you were running the Apples’ stand today. I could have come by earlier, we could have had a chat,” I said as I walked up to him. The little grey pony pushed his cowboy hat back on his head as he looked up from whatever he was doing.

“Oh, er, hey, Mom,” he answered, sounding a little surprised. “Mac asked me to take over the stand this afternoon; poor feller worked harder than any of us durin’ the zap apple harvest.” I still find it so funny just how much he’s changed over the last seven months or so. As he is now, you’d probably think he grew up around here, and was always a pony to boot. I know he was already familiar with this world, but the way he’s fitted himself in is just so, strange.

“So, what can Ah get ya?” he asked, startling me out of my reprieve. I promptly consulted my list.

“Right, I need half a dozen of those golden delicious. Any left in stock?” He promptly turned around and, using his magic, levitated a few of the filled baskets, checking. Eventually, he brought one of them down and placed six into a bag for me.

“There, six golden delicious for ya. Makin’ your apple crumble for Sunday lunch tomorrow?” he enquired.

“Yes, you know how much your father loves that with a bit of custard. How much do I owe you?” I fished out a small purse out of my bag.

“Two bits ought to cover it,” he replied. Handing over the two coins, I took the bag from his, whatever you call the weird magical field unicorns make when they levitate things. “Thanks, Mom. See ya ‘round!” Waving goodbye to him, I headed on back home for tea.

I got back just as the clock struck five. On a weekday, I’d be expecting my husband home any second. Today though of course, court was closed to give both princesses a break. Even here in Equestria, without any real religion as far as I can make out, the weekend, and particularly Sunday are viewed as a day of rest. Well, constants and variables I guess.

Tonight was also my night off from cooking the dinner. Now, I’m no rampant feminist, but I still like to have a night or two where I can just put my feet up and relax. And as he’s not been to Canterlot and back today, my husband can’t play the ‘I’m tired’ card. Thus, he cooks the dinner on Saturday night and he helps me with the Sunday roast. He’s actually a fairly decent cook too, to be fair to him.

Pausing a moment to fish my house keys out of my bag, I opened up the front door and stepped inside. In the living room, I could hear the sound of the projector going. Since Equestria doesn’t yet have television, mainly due to the lack of demand, we’d bought ourselves an old fashioned projector. This was set up in the living room and projected onto the far wall, on which we’d hung a screen. Whilst Equestria had no television, a great number of videos and DVDs had come through the rift when it opened. Blade Star, with Twilight’s help, had been able to somehow alter them using his magic. It changed them into old style film reels, a technology which Equestria already possesses. The same applied to CDs too, which were turned into vinyl records; a change I’m not complaining about; vinyl has always sounded better than CDs if you ask me.

Walking into the living room, I found my husband sitting comfortably on the sofa, watching a movie. A bowl of popcorn sat next to him. He was quite absorbed in it, as at first he didn’t notice I’d come in.

“What are you watching there, dearest?” I asked. The response was immediate.

“Ahhh!” he exclaimed in fright. The bowl of popcorn jumped a foot or so in the air and sent its contents flying all over the carpet. After a moment, he recovered. “Sorry, darling. You scared me; didn’t hear you come in.” I paused to take my coat off and hang it up on the stand, I was still laughing a little.

“Didn’t mean to startle you. Honest,” I replied, grinning. He gestured toward the screen.

“I thought I’d put one of the Die Hard films on before dinner,” he explained. After looking for a moment, I identified it as the second film; the one set at the airport.

“How is the dinner doing anyway?” At that moment, I heard the little timer we had in the kitchen go off. “Oh, speak of the devil.” The two of us went into the kitchen. By the smell of things, it was omelettes tonight. A few minutes later, we were sitting down at the table chatting away as we normally do.

“Sounds like you and Milano get on pretty well, dear,” my husband said. “You going to make a regular thing going to see her?”

“I probably will, but I invited her to drop by the house sometime next week. I thought we could do with having some friends over.” My husband nodded in agreement.

“Sure, I suppose I’ll need to make a special guest appearance then?” I gently cuffed him across the head from over the table.

“Behave,” I warned him jokingly.

Chapter 65 - Making Plans

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The zap apple harvest was complete, and at last we could all just lie down, rest, and relax. Gone were the desperate time limits and the mad dash across the orchards it caused. We now had a more than healthy safety net to get us through next winter. Hay, we could probably forgo cider season if we wanted to and still be okay financially. Despite our great success though, the Apples’ are still careful with their money. They aren’t tight with a bit by any means, but just because there’s a little to burn didn’t mean that we would be going out spending. Although to be fair, we did use some of the profits to fix up some of the older equipment. I also got the chance to have my room redone.

When I’d first moved into the Apple household in the latter half of the previous year, I’d been given the spare room in the house as temporary accommodation. Since I was probably going to be on this farm for the rest of my days, everypony agreed I deserved a more homely room. Firstly, the wallpaper was redone, in an apple theme naturally, but nonetheless it made the room a little brighter. I also had the chance to get myself a new bed. My old one was by no means uncomfortable but it was beginning to show its age. A couple of shelves were also added. Until this point I’d been keeping my steadily growing book collection in a pile on the small desk I had. Finally, I had Big Mac help me properly mount the Lunar Guard sabre I had been given by Luna as a Hearth’s Warming present; it took pride of place above my desk. To complete the set up, I had a few framed pictures put in, of my family, the Apples, me and AJ. It made me feel as if I’d lived here all my life.

If I’m honest (and as I live in the same house as the Element of Honesty, I suppose I ought to be) I am steadily finding it harder to recall things about Earth. Nothing major yet, it hasn’t even been a year. But when I was chatting with Dad the other day, I had to think hard to remember a few little things from not so long ago. Who knows, in time maybe I will simply forget my old world, or at least my life there.

Still, that was not really a major concern at the present time. I had far more important issues to worry about. I had a date. With Applejack. That last day of the zap apple harvest when she agreed, sent me absolutely clear over the moon. Of course, I naturally ran right into a metaphorical brick wall. I had no real experience of dating.

Due to my previous attitude to love, I had little in the way of experience. Until I came to Equestria, I’d never been kissed for goodness sake! Thus, aside from a few stories I’d heard over the years, most of which I concluded were hogwash, I had no experience in the complexities of dating. What the hay do you do anyways?

As a result, I stayed up a fair bit of that night thinking. I knew how AJ and I were going to get out, Luna had already agreed to assist me, and all I had to do was give her the nod. First things first was deciding on a location; I needed to take AJ somewhere she would like. Most of my limited understanding of dating was from film, the sort of thing Rarity would approve of. And while I’m sure a mare such as Rarity would absolutely adore the idea of a romantic candlelit dinner in a high class restaurant, the same could not be said for Applejack.

Applejack doesn’t really care for the false appearances created by finery and wealth, a sign of her connection to her element I suppose. She preferred to keep things simple and straightforward, one of the many reasons I like her. So pretty much every single typical, clichéd dating spot was out if I wanted to both impress her and show her a good time. I did know that I wanted to take her somewhere on Earth. Applejack has seen a fair portion of Equestria in her time, not to mention all the family she has scattered all over the shop. I toyed with the idea of the American West in its heyday, but I was forced to reject it. Giving Applejack an equalizer prior to going on our date would not give a good impression. Perhaps something more modern? I considered the idea of visiting New York, but I shot that down when I remembered her own history with Manehatten, which might not sit right with her. Plus, as Homer Simpson said ‘New York is a hellhole; and you know how I feel about hellholes’. I thought about maybe the idea of a cruise; maybe AJ and I could go on the QE2 or maybe even the Titanic, leaving before things went down the drain obviously.

But no, no matter what idea I came up with, I just couldn’t quite see it as working somehow. Applejack was a mare that focussed a great deal of time on work. When we weren’t busy looking after the farm, she was usually either resting up or thinking about what else needed to be done that week. Dammit, she needed this break if nothing else! But, because of her nature, I didn’t really have much of an idea of what she likes to do.

I then considered perhaps paying a visit to my mother country. With the right weather, Britain was a wonderful place, particularly the seaside and the open countryside. It would be something completely different. Whilst Trottingham is a rough analogue of modern Britain, particularly the north, it could not cover everything. I could take her first to London, maybe with a trip along the Thames.. Then take her out maybe to that little village me and Dad used to visit; Kingsclere, not too far from Watership Down. It would be more of a holiday than a date, but I figured that she would enjoy it all the same.

Yes, it would work well I decided. I had formed a general idea of what I wanted to do with Applejack on our little getaway/date/shared dream. Over the next several days I steadily began to flesh out an itinerary. Overall the dream would only be one night, and maybe a bit of the morning, but within the dream it would be two full days.

Now, to my mind, my idea sounded brilliant. However, given my lack of experience and occasional ability to do something catastrophically stupid, I went out over the weekend to sound out my ideas with a chosen few.

Whilst the weekend did represent a quieter part of the week in the Apple house, there was still usually a fair deal to do; farming doesn’t just stop for the weekend after all. Before I could head out into Ponyville to pay a visit to the usual suspects in matters of romance I had a few chores to do.

After getting up and having breakfast with everypony else, I had to go and help Big Mac move some of the stock around. As I said we had no real days off, but Applejack liked to have Sunday at the very least be a quiet day for us all, so all the preparation for next week was usually done on Saturday. The main job we had was getting out the various produce on offer and getting it all sorted out and ready in the carts for whoever had to watch the stall on Monday. I’d actually had my first go and running the Apples’ market stand on my own last week, and I’d done pretty well, bringing home just shy of one hundred and fifty bits in profit. Since I did so well, Applejack decided to work me into the staff rotation she had going on, so now three ponies were on hand not just two. In this instance she also asked if I could look after Apple Bloom on Monday. Instead of heading home, she’d join me at the stand to help out. As I’ve said many times before, the filly excels in pressure selling.

Anyway, Big Mac and I were out at one of the smaller barns in the southern orchard. It was this section from which we took the latest produce to send out to market. The system worked so that no stock was left for so long that it had a chance to turn bad, which was a waste of effort and energy, never mind the cost in profits. We’d loaded up several baskets and were taking them to the cart two at a time via specially adapted saddlebags. I could just about manage two of them at a time, but Big Mac, being an exceptional example of an earth pony was also able to take a third one on his back with little difficulty. Perhaps he was subconsciously doing this as a sort of ‘alpha male’ thing, just in case I forgot who was boss, unicorn or not.

Since it was just us two, I decided to take it as an opportunity to let Big Mac know what would be happening in a couple nights time. After all, I was taking AJ out on a date, and a long one at that. It would be somewhat disrespectful not to tell him what I was planning. As we loaded the baskets into the cart and turned to fetch the next load I spoke up.

“Hey, Mac, listen, Ah been meanin’ to tell ya somethin’,” The larger stallion tilted his head to the side inquisitively as he turned to look at me. I knew he would have no problem with it; I just wanted to let him know. “AJ and me were plannin’ on going on a date in a couple days.” He pondered this for a moment.

“Ya bring her back ‘fore dark, ya hear?” he said warningly. I did my best to stifle a chuckle.

“Well, ya see, that’s what Ah think you’re gonna like ‘bout this,” I said. Briefly, I explained the rough idea I had to take Applejack on a literal dream date, adding that the entire thing would take place under the watchful eye of Princess Luna. Not seriously of course, but as we would be dreaming, Luna would be able to check in on us as she pleased.

“That’s a mighty interestin’ idea ya got there, Bones,” he said after I finished my explanation. “So y’all are only gonna be away that one night?” I nodded.

“To us, it’ll seem like we’ve been gone a couple days. But to you, it’ll just be a normal night’s sleep. We’ll be up and ready to help on the farm as always. That okay?”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac affirmed. We then reached the barn and started back again with the last load.

With my chores completed and everything ready for my turn at the market again on Monday, I set off for Ponyville. I wanted to drop in on a few friends and use them as a sounding board for my ideas. After all, despite my steadily growing relationship with Applejack, I knew that I did not know as much as some of Ponyville’s residents. Naturally, they had known her longer than I had and might be able to tell me something to avoid a proverbial hoof in mouth moment. Plus, as any man knows, girls all talk to each other about everything. And I’m sure that at some point somepony, most likely Rarity, had grilled Applejack on what was happening. Consequently, Carousel Boutique was my first stop.

Rarity was just setting some of her newly completed work on the various stands that dotted the shop floor when I walked in. It seemed as if I’d arrived at the perfect time; she’d finished up her work for the day. Her typical glasses, that indicated whether or not she was working were absent from her face. However, she didn’t appear to be all that tired. If the poor mare had been working hard, I would naturally have let her be. As she is so fond of saying ‘a lady needs her beauty sleep’.

However, as soon as I walked in, causing the small silver bell above the door to chime, and possibly giving an angel its wings, Rarity looked up and happily trotted over to greet me.

“Blade Star, darling!” she said, greeting me in her typical way. I opened my mouth to reply and tell her why I had dropped by to see her, when she suddenly cut me off. “Ah, don’t tell me; you need my advice, no?” I nodded.

“Ah asked Applejack out, on a date.” I barely had time to brace for the inevitable reaction. Rarity squealed in delight and began to bounce around the room happily. The fashionista began to babble excitedly.

“Oh darling, this is simply wonderful. At last you two shall be together. I knew it from the moment I set eyes on you. And to think just a few months ago you were spouting all that nonsense about being uninterested in romance and that asexual nonsense.”

Right, I know Rarity was giddy with excitement at the time, but that still made me grit my teeth. It’s true I do like Applejack. It is true that I love her. I agree that I have completely set my former feelings against love aside. However, that final issue was still one of contention. As much as I loved AJ I wasn’t sure I could ever contemplate doing…that, with her. Assuming Big Mac didn’t kill me on the spot. Still, it would do little good to burst her bubble and it would keep her from bothering me in the future, so I held my tongue. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I think Rarity may have caught my irked expression though, for she quickly calmed down.

“Better?” I asked as she relaxed. After all, a lady does not get so excited.

“Yes, erm, sorry about that, darling.” She brushed a stray hair out of her face. “So, where are you taking her than? The rodeo, a picnic by the lake?” I shook my head in response.

“Ah’m gonna take her on a tour of the Old Country. Ah’m gonna show her Earth.” Rarity was understandably confused. “Princess Luna agreed to link my dream with AJ’s and keep us both lucid. Effectively we can go anywhere we want to. And it won’t just be a night either; Ah’m fixin’ to spend a couple of days with her. Ah figure we could both use a little holiday anyway.” I then outlined the rough idea I had. “So, what do ya think?”

Rarity placed a hoof to her chin and closed her eyes, evidently thinking deeply. She was naturally taking this whole exercise very seriously, probably more so that I was. If I’d set something up Applejack would not like, she would know, and I also knew she cared about the both of us and wanted to see us succeed. At length, she opened her eyes again and placed a hoof on my shoulder.

“Darling, I can see you’ve really thought about this. Any other stallion would probably go for some clichéd dinner and a movie date. You’ve thought about Applejack as a mare, what she likes and dislikes. And taking her to your old home is a very personal move too, darling. You are being upfront and honest about your past, an admirable quality. She will love every moment of it; I will stake my mane upon it.” Well, there was no better endorsement to be hoped for from Rarity.

I stayed with her a little while longer chatting about this and that. Eventually, the topic turned to my little sister, Lizzie. In another couple of days the effects of Discord’s prank would wear off and, Celestia willing, she would be a human once more, as she said she had wanted to be. Still, she’d done quite well as a pegasus; I’d seen her with Fluttershy and Rainbow flying around, and she’d definitely enjoyed her trip to Cloudsdale too.

After that, quickly lifting my hat from its place on the stand, I took my leave, promising Rarity that at some point, I would tell her how it all went. As I closed the door to the shop behind me, I could almost swear she was talking. Her cat, Opalescence, who is pretty much your stereotypical cat, had been with us for the duration of our discussion, so it was probably her. However, unbeknownst to me, Rarity was sitting on her sofa, petting Opal and saying, more to herself:

“Oh, Opal, why is it all the good stallions are taken these days?”

After leaving Rarity, I headed a little ways across town to my parents’ house. As it was a weekend, both Ponyville School and Celestia’s Day court were closed, so both my parents would be around. Realistically, I knew that at some point I would have to talk to my folks about Applejack and my relationship with her. I suppose in a way, I was finally ‘catching up’ with all those kids back in high school and going on my first date. I smiled a little and shook my head. I wasn’t a teenager anymore and I certainly wouldn’t be acting like half of them did on their dates.

However, I would be needing some help preparing for this little expedition. Due to my somewhat natural inexperience I had little idea on, well, everything. This would genuinely be the first date I had ever been on. Most males my age, or so I was led to believe by media, had by this point gained a fair amount of experience. I couldn’t help but feel a little bit intimidated. I mean, what if I did something or said something that ruined the whole shebang?

On the other hand though, I was not alone. I knew that I was the first stallion to ask Applejack out. Like me, she hadn’t done much in the way of romance as a younger filly. But to be fair to her, it was due to the amount of her time taken up by work on the farm, rather than a lack of interest. After all, the mare was, if you’ll pardon the expression, something of a catch. I on the other hand, only have myself to blame for my inexperience. All through high school any kind of friendship that had the potential to become something else, I had quickly shut down, usually with unfortunate results.

So, here I was, going to talk to my parents. It would mainly be my dad; I was in dire need of some fatherly advice, though I knew my mom would also get involved at some point. And so swallowing my pride, I knocked on the door.

As luck would have it, my father answered a door, a mug of tea in his hand. Perhaps that is one of the reasons he and Celestia get on so well, they both do seem to be partial to the stuff.

“Hello there, lad,” he warmly greeted me. One of the many things my father has had to learn to do is look down. Aside from Celestia and Discord, very few ponies can look him in the eye in Equestria, me included. It sort of makes me feel like a little kid again at times.

He quickly invited me inside and led me into the living room. Apart from a television, which is conspicuous by its absence, there was little to differentiate it from the front room of our old home.

“So, what brings you to me and the memsahib’s humble abode?” he asked as we both settled down on the sofa, with me tucking my forelegs under myself like a dog.

“Where is Mom anyway?” I asked, it was unusual for me to have gotten this far into the house and not have been scooped up by her in a bone crushing hug.

“Oh, she’s off seeing some friend; one of the mothers from school I think. You know how she gets. Now, what do you want to talk to me about?”

“Ah’ve got myself a date, Dad,” I said, bluntly. With an air of clear smugness, my father leaned back into the sofa, his hands moving behind his head, interlocking, a smile played across his lips. “And Ah need some advice,” I added.

“Alright,” he answered, not moving. “Where are you taking her first of all? Helps if you have a game plan you know.”

“Princess Luna agreed to sync up our dreams. Ah figure, we’ll be takin’ two days or so. This is gonna be more of a holiday that just a date. Ah’m gonna take her back home, show her ‘round a bit” My father nodded sagely before saying.

“No eighteen rated dreams though, eh?” Had I been drinking anything, it would have been sprayed from here to Baltimare. As it was, I blushed beet red and shifted around uncomfortably. As great a father as my dad is, he’s never really signed up to the idea of asexuality being a thing. Eventually, I managed to scowl at him, but by then he was laughing his head off.

“Dad, nothing like that’s gonna happen,” I said irritably. For a moment the petty side of me insisted I storm out then and there. On the other hand I needed his advice. “Now have ya got any real advice or are ya just gonna laugh at me?” Eventually, he relented and continued.

“Alright, Bones, alright,” he paused to think for a moment. “Right well, big, important thing is always pay the bill. No matter what it is, drinks or a full three course dinner, you pay. And don’t let her convince you to go Dutch either.” I rolled my eyes.

“Dad, it’s a dream. Ah could take AJ to five star restaurants every night and not have to worry.”

“My point still stands, lad,” he replied. “Even with dream money, you pay. Alright?” I nodded.

“What else?” I could tell my dad was trying to remember his first few dates with my mom. He began to say something about dressing in the right clothing. Of course, that one quietly died in his throat for obvious reasons.

“Okay, erm, oh yes. Always be attentive to her. Don’t be hanging on her every word, but let her know you’re listening. Remind her how important she is to you. That and it’ll save your backside when she circles back to a topic you stopped talking about an hour ago.” He stopped to think again. “And of course, be a gentleman, son. Though I think you cover that one quite well already. You’ve been raised right, so just follow the old ways; she’ll definitely appreciate that. Any woman, or mare, is always looking for that knight in shining armor.”

I couldn’t help but snigger a little bit at that turn of phrase. After all Princess Cadence had quite literally found one, and married him in the end. My father continued.

“Seriously, Blade Star,” he said, using my taken name for once. “You don’t need my advice really; you just need to be confident and relaxed. You are a great person, erm, pony to be with, hence why Applejack likes you. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.” He put down his mug. “Now go on, best be off with you; you don’t want to be here when your mum gets back do you?”

I promptly beat a hasty retreat back to Sweet Apple Acres. Mom could get all misty eyed on me later. It was getting late anyway, and I always did my best to be home before sundown. Perhaps next week, if all goes well, I could spend Sunday at home, maybe spend some time with Apple Bloom; the filly had really grown on me these past few months.

As I went to bed, I spoke with Applejack. Tonight I would contact Luna and tell her we were both ready. Then, tomorrow night, we would begin.

Interlude 12 - To Fly or Not to Fly

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I had to be about three thousand feet up at this point. From what I understand, that is pretty good without oxygen. Even with my current pegasus body, I have to be careful how high I go, or else I may pass out. I was currently though, descending rather than climbing, and at a steep angle too. The ground was rushing up toward me a breakneck speed. My plan was to dive down fairly low and the use the speed I’d gained to save energy on the return trip upward. As the top of Town Hall began to draw near, I tilted my wings back a few degrees. It sort of felt as if I was leaning back, pushing my upper body higher. Just before I drew level with the highest point of the building, I began to climb again; the energy gained from the dive now propelled me skyward again.

Going at a very fast speed (I could almost hear the jet like noise other pegasi make when they reach high speeds) I began to adjust my course toward my target, a very large raincloud. It had gotten loose from its main body sometime last night and had begun to drift over Ponyville that morning. Seeing as we were expecting clear skies until tomorrow night, the Weather Patrol had been dispatched to clear it up. As it wasn’t that much, Dash had ignored normal protocol and asked me to come and help her.

I knew what I had to do, a cloud this big couldn’t simply be kicked out of existence like the one I’d tried in Cloudsdale, it needed far more force, such as a pegasus going at full tilt slamming into it, hence my current mission. I had gotten as much speed as I could in what my brother would probably call a ‘wire-screaming’ dive and was now barrelling towards the unsightly grey mass. Off to my right, and with a fair bit of distance between her and the cloud, Rainbow was watching my progress and offering advice.

“You’re doing great, Lizzie,” she called out encouragingly. “Now when you get near to it, remember to tuck your wings into your side, it’ll lessen the crash for you. Just hold on and you’ll be fine.”

I didn’t respond, but I did prepare to tuck my wings in. Dash had warned me about this; if you hit a cloud, which is a semi-solid object if you’re a pegasus, you need to hit it as one mass. If your wings stick out there is a risk of injury. One of my first safety lessons with Dash was that if I ever thought I was going to hit a cloud, to make myself as aerodynamic as possible to reduce the impact area. With the ground of course, that’s another story.

I was now only a few hundred yards away from my target. My wings had been beating furiously to keep up my speed. I now tucked them into my side, allowing my momentum to carry me forward. As the cloud filled my vision, I shut my eyes.

“Banzai!” I shouted. Fitting considering what I was doing.

A moment later, I felt the impact. In spite of my speed, it wasn’t that bad, kind of like crashing into a marshmallow. I felt the cloud rock with the impact and for a moment, I thought I’d made a mess of it and just wedged myself in the cloud. A few moments later though, the cloud shook, then promptly broke up, mainly poofing out of existence. Thus, I was reunited with my old friend gravity.

I quickly went into freefall but I remembered the last part of the exercise; the recovery. Sometimes you can crash into a cloud and come to a full stop before it breaks, in which case you drop from the sky. First things first, don’t panic. Secondly, orientate yourself; it’s no good flapping your wings if you’ve no idea which way is up. I quickly looked around and found the horizon. I then did my best to point myself downward toward the ground. Finally, I opened my wings, and the natural lift generated by my speed allowed me to recover. I climbed back up again and re-joined Rainbow, who had been watching me just in case. My teacher was quite pleased with my performance.

“Great job, Lizzie. You took out that cloud and you recovered pretty well too. I know a few flyers on the team who panic when that happens; you were pretty cool headed.” I smiled happily, I’d really been getting into this whole Weather Patrol stuff over the past couple days.

Still, today was my last day, in fact, in another hour or so, Dash said I had to be back on the ground for safety. As we didn’t know exactly when Discord had pulled his prank, as well as how unstable his magic was, it was decided that I stay on the ground after mid-morning, lest I change in mid-air. I turned to Dash.

“Thanks, Rainbow. But I just followed your instructions and remembered what you told me,” I answered. Rainbow shook her head.

“Seriously, kid. You’ve got a real gift for weather work. Hay, if I had to guess, I’d say that cutie mark represents your love of flying.” I turned as we hovered, to look at the whimsical winged heart that was permanently marked on my rear end.

“Come on, Dash, how could that be? I never even did any flying until this week. Not like you, I mean you’ve been flying since you were little.”

“Yeah, but I only got my cutie mark when I did a sonic rainboom for the first time. Until then I kind of sucked at flying,” she countered.

“Still not buying it,” I replied. A smile played over Rainbow’s face.

“Tell you what, let’s have a game on aerial tag before you head back to Fluttershy’s,” she suggested. “You can do all sorts of stunts and I’ll try and catch you. I guarantee you’ll have fun.” After a moment’s hesitation I agreed and she gave me a ten second head start.

Aerial tag is somewhat like a dogfight; each player attempts to pursue the other and tag them, making it a game where you have to get very close to your opponent. And just as Dash said, that meant a load of different stunts, from jinking, loops, sharp turns and sudden changes of speed and direction.

As soon as she said ‘go’, I took off at top speed. I knew Dash was faster than me, but it wouldn’t hurt to build up some ground. I forced myself to my fastest pace and the world seemed to shoot backwards. A few seconds later though, I could hear Rainbow drawing up behind me. Turning my head I saw her closing with me faster than a bullet from a gun. There were no clouds in the sky so there was little up here to be used as obstacles to weave through.

I then thought back to some of those films my brother liked to watch, that one ‘Top Gun’ was about exactly this sort of thing. Tom Cruise’s character did a trick at one point when he was being chased. What was it? After a few moments, and Dash drawing ever nearer and actually reaching out to tag me, I remembered.

“We’ll hit the brakes and she’ll fly right by,” I said to myself.

In an instant I pitched up as high as I could, almost ninety degrees, and flared my wings out as much as I could. Instantly, I began to climb and I felt immense pressure on my wings as they hit the air full force. The effect of this was that I climbed a few feet before being forced to drop and I also slowed to a near dead stop. Dash meanwhile, who was just behind me, couldn’t slow herself down in time and had to break hard to avoid slamming into me. That left me doing the chasing.

“Let’s see what you got now, RD!” I called as I began to pursue the pegasus.

Rainbow began a quick dive and constantly weaved to avoid me catching her. Before long we were zooming toward the ground and I was getting a little concerned. I’d done low level flying before, but not at these speeds! I called to Rainbow.

“Dash, at this speed will we be able to pull out in time?” I asked. After all, we were now getting perilously close to the ground and pulling up too late would mean our momentum would cause us to crash. Laughing to herself, Dash called back to me.

“Relax, Lizzie; it’ll be just like Ghastly Gorge back home!”

We began to whiz past tree tops and frightened birds leapt out of our way as we sped past their homes. We were coming up on Sweet Apple Acres, its orchards would be tricky to navigate through, but Dash showed no signs of slowing down. Taking that as her believing it was safe; I kept hard on her heels. With the lower altitude, thicker air and various obstacles, Dash couldn’t rely on straight line speed to get away and she was stunting like crazy. I was actually able to close on her.

I reached out with a hoof, mere inches away from catching her. Unfortunately, I was so focussed on catching Dash, just as she was focussed on not being caught, that we may or may not have seen the farmhouse in good time. At the last moment Dash called out a warning.

“Horseapples! Lizzie, pull up!” Both of us braked as hard as we could and tried to peel off to avoid the large wooden barn that the Apples lived in, but due to our speed, we had no hope of stopping in time. I braced myself for a collision with something a great deal harder than a cloud.

The impact however, never came. A moment after closing my eyes and bracing, I realised that I could no longer feel the air rushing past me, nor could I hear it. Tentatively opening my eyes again, I realised I had stopped, completely. My wings weren’t flapping but I was still somehow in the air, which seemed to be shimmering. All of a sudden though, I began to move again; down this time and at a very slow speed, it was almost as if I was in zero gravity. I looked down toward the ground and quickly found an explanation.

Directly below us was Blade Star, my older brother. His horn was glowing a dark blue colour, indicating he was using his magic. His eyes were closed and he was gritting his teeth. I quickly understood the reason for my sudden stop. He must have spotted us and somehow managed to catch me with his magic and stop me from ploughing into the barn. Eventually, he set me down on the ground and his horn stopped glowing. He then opened his eyes, and he didn’t look too pleased.

“Ya know how fast ya were goin’ there, Lizzie?” he asked calmly, not breaking eye contact. He always does that when he wants to tell me off; he forgets sometimes that he’s only two years older than me.

“We were only having a bit of fun,” I offered.

“Ya should consider yourself lucky Ah was able to catch ya ‘fore ya ploughed into the side of the house. Honestly Sis, what were ya thinkin’?” His tone wasn’t angry, more like disappointed, he really cares about me, only sometimes he has trouble showing it.

“Come on, it was my last flight before I change back; me and Dash wanted to have some fun.”

“Dash?!” he replied, suddenly sounding worried.

Above us, we heard a muffled groan of pain. Obviously, my brother had only been able to catch me and missed Rainbow. Luckily it seemed that she’d gone through a window rather than hitting a wall. As we both looked up, the cyan pegasus emerged, a few cuts here and there on her.

“Dammit, Rainbow, y’all better pay for that!” Blade Star called as she appeared in the window. My teacher was no stranger to taking a crash, more than once she’d been known to crash into the library. I was just thankful she’d gone into a window. Waving a hoof to signal her understanding, Dash retreated and my brother turned back to me.

“Come on; let’s get the two of you checked over, just to be safe.” He then led me into the house and had me sit down at the kitchen table. After a quick trip upstairs, he returned with a still dazed Rainbow Dash in tow. He gave the both of us a drink of water and an apple to eat and then announced he was going to get the first aid kit from the bathroom upstairs. That left me alone with Dash. We sat in silence for a moment, letting the crash sink in, but eventually, she spoke.

“Not exactly the best way to end your flying career eh, Lizzie,” she said, wincing a little due to the small cuts on her face.

“It wasn’t your fault, Dash,” I countered. “Besides, no harm done. And they always say you have to either crash or fall off to really say you’ve done something.” This made Dash chuckle to herself.

“I gotta say though, that was a pretty fun flight. You’ve got some serious moves for a newbie. Where’d you learn that whole sudden stop thing you used?” I explained about Top Gun. “Huh, kinda sounds like the Wonderbolt Academy. Maybe I’ll show Spitfire that move next time I see her. That kind of stunt might’ve helped stop me crashing, and a few others too. Anyway, how long have you got now?” I looked at the clock on the kitchen wall.

“I think it’s about another two hours. Once were done here, we’ll have to walk to Fluttershy’s I guess.” Dash waved her hoof dismissively.

“Hey, it’s no biggie. I’d rather walk all the way than have you drop from the sky like Rarity did.” At that point my brother returned.

Held in his magic was a typical looking first aid box. Setting it down on the table, he opened it and picked out a bottle of disinfectant, some cotton wool and some bandages and plasters. He then turned his attention to Dash.

“Alright, Rainbow, it looks like you got off lucky. As far as Ah can tell ya ain’t got no glass in any of those cuts. Ah’ll put some disinfectant on though, so don’t mind the stingin’.”

“No worries, Blade Star. I’ve done this to myself a dozen times. I’m used to it.” He began to apply the disinfectant. In spite of her bold claims, Dash still winced and hissed as the stuff touched the various cuts.

“Maybe ya ought to think ‘bout slowin’ it down every once in a while. ‘Specially this low to the ground. Ah’m gonna hold you to the cost of repairs to Granny’s bedroom window.”

“I have had this little song and dance before you know,” Dash replied, a little irritated. My brother relented.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to be such a hard-ass,” he smiled kindly as he began to carefully clean the wounds. “Just had me worried ‘cause Lizzie was with ya. That’s my baby sister you’re with after all.” I rolled my eyes in annoyance, which made him chuckle in response. Still, if he was joking, it meant he wasn’t mad. Eventually, he finished up. Dash had a couple of cuts on her face but had come away pretty much unscathed; she’d had the sense to cover her face before she hit. My brother said that they’d be healed in a day or two.

As he moved to check me over, we were joined by somepony else; Applejack had returned from her work, judging by the basket of eggs she held in her mouth, she’d been feeding the chickens and collecting their eggs. She happily trotted through the open back door.

“Howdy, Bones. Listen, Ah don’t suppose ya could…” her statement died in her throat as she saw me and the slightly beat up Rainbow. “What the hay happened here?”

“RD and Lizzie were doin’ some flyin’ practice ‘round the farm, went too fast an’ nearly went into the house. Ah caught Lizzie and Rainbow went through Granny Smith’s bedroom window. Ah’ll get the glass up in a minute. Damn lucky Granny was out nappin’ down here, still is.”

Applejack joined my brother in checking us over; the other two Apples were not on the farm at present apparently. Applejack said Big Mac was looking after the market and Apple Bloom was naturally at school. Granny Smith meanwhile, completely oblivious to all that had happened, remained in the next room in her rocking chair, fast asleep.

Eventually, the pair pronounced us both healthy and let us on our way. It was kind of weird seeing my brother with Applejack; he behaved differently around her. Anyone could tell they really liked each other. Ah, young love. Rainbow, now sort of walking wounded headed out of the farmhouse on her hooves keeping her word to stay on the ground with me on the way back to the cottage.

“Y’all take care now. Ah’ll swing by and see ya after your back to normal, Lizzie. See ya!” The two ponies then retreated back inside the house.

‘Back to normal’, that phrase kept repeating over and over in my head as we wound our way through Sweet Apples Acres and up towards the cottage which I shared with Fluttershy and her many other house guests. In another hour or two, I would be human again; I would be normal again. Wouldn’t I? I’d only been a pegasus for about a week, but I’d gotten used to it, the flying in particular.

Back on April Fool’s Day, when Discord had pulled his stupid stunt, I had been pretty frightened by everything. I wasn’t me; it was as if I was trapped in someone else’s body; a distinctly alien feeling. I didn’t like it and I wanted out as fast as possible. That first day had been hard, I’d had to change a lot of things; how I walked being the most obvious. I felt as though I was missing a part of me and that night I’d gone to sleep still quite frightened.

But the next day though, Fluttershy and Rainbow had begun to teach me a little bit about flying. Princess Celestia had told me to try and treat this as a learning experience, so that is what I tried to do. I first began to learn to use my newly acquired wings, and then over the course of the day, I learnt to take off and hover, before landing safely.

From there, Dash had steadily taught me more and more about flying until, at this point, I was able to almost keep up with her and even help out with some weather work. Things also extended to Fluttershy; with my pegasus body, I could help her more easily with the birds and larger creatures. I was much faster than I had been and of course, I didn’t take up as much space in the small cottage as I previously had.

I’d enjoyed it all, but I still didn’t want to stay a pegasus, I was a human after all. But as we left Sweet Apple Acres it hit me. Looking at my brother with Applejack made me realise something; I would be here for the rest of my life. In all likelihood, I would not see another human besides my parents ever again. I’d had a boyfriend or two back on Earth but what of here? I wasn’t quite comfortable with the idea of asking a stallion out one night; even though I know its complete nonsense in this case, my mind refuses to let go of the idea of bestiality. As a pegasus though, I had no such problems; I’d even got chatting with a couple of guys from the Weather Patrol that Dash introduced me to.

When this spell wore off, I’d be human again, and I’d have those same stupid misconceptions hanging over me. Plus, I couldn’t really imagine any stallion wanting to go out with me. For ponies dating a griffon is something of a stretch. The long and short of it was I didn’t want to be alone. I had friends sure and I had my family, but I wanted to get married someday.

Aside from helping Fluttershy out and seeing my family and friends, I did little with my new life. Over the past week, I’d made a load of new friends that I got on great with, gained the promise of a paying job and had more fun than I’d had in ages. Now why the hell would I give that up? My decision was made; as soon as I could, I was going to get in touch with Discord and ask him to make this change permanent.

Dash and I came to the front door of the cottage; Fluttershy was waiting outside for us, along with a somewhat nervous looking Discord. I hadn’t seen the wily trickster since he’d first done this to me. And from what I’d heard, Princess Celestia had been pretty mad at him for what he’d done. At first I had been, but now, I might just thank him.

“Hello, Lizzie. Hello, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy greeted warmly. She then spotted Dash’s slight injuries. “Rainbow, what happened to you?”

“You know me, Fluttershy. New trick, didn’t go too well. Applejack and Blade Star fixed me up.” Apparently satisfied with this, she turned to me and led us inside. Discord remained silent, but was subtly watching me. The four of us settled down in Fluttershy’s front room to wait for the chaotic magic to wear off. I began to think just how I could broach this topic. I hadn’t really told anypony, or my parents. As it turned out though, Fluttershy did that for me.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be glad to get back to normal soon, Lizzie. Though I do hope you enjoyed your time as a pegasus. It reminds me of when Twilight turned us all into Breezies to help them all out,” she chuckled to herself. “That was pretty fun; sometimes I think it wouldn’t be too bad to have stayed as one.” I now threw in my curve ball.

“Actually, Fluttershy, I’ve been thinking, about being a pegasus and everything,” She tilted her head slightly to show her confusion, it was now or never. “And I think it really wouldn’t be too bad if I stayed like this.

“What?!” they all shouted, even Discord seemed surprised. I began to explain my thoughts on the way over here. Dash nodded her head in understanding as I talked about how much I liked flying and how it enabled me to help out Fluttershy more. Fluttershy herself blushed bright red when I explained my other reason for wanting to retain my newfound equinity. But it was Discord’s reaction that was the most unusual.

“Yes!” he cried triumphantly. Jumping off the couch, he began to perform, in mid-air, some kind of victory dance, even going as far as to summon himself a t-shirt and pull the front over his head in the style of many footballers. “I was right! I was right!” In the end Dash could take his antics no longer.

“What the hay are you talking about, Discord?” The draconequus smiled, reverting back to the personality I recognised, his previous melancholy forgotten.

“Why Rainbow Dash, didn’t I tell you? I didn’t change your newest recruit into a pegasus just for fun, I knew she wanted this sort of thing. She all but told me she wasn’t happy with being human the night I met her.” Snapping his talons again, a small tape recorder appeared and began to play back a recorded version of the conversation I’d had with him last week; when I talked about how being human sometimes limited what I could do. I suddenly became very paranoid of other bugging devices.

“So, what, you did all of this, knowing that I’d eventually want to not change back?” Discord nodded.

“I actually thought it would take you longer to make up your mind. I expected you’d have a week or two being human again before realising just how much you loved being a pegasus. And then you’d come to me, I’d change you back, we’d hug and then you’d write dear Celestia a little letter telling her what you learned from this experience.” He then summoned himself a clarinet and began to play a piece of music on it.

“Yeah, or you could just leave me as a pegasus now. You know, do a good deed for once?” He huffed irritably.

“Fine, if you want it simple, so be it.” He snapped his talons and, well, nothing happened.

“What did you do?” I asked.

“I just altered the spell a little bit. What were you expecting; you’re already a pegasus. It won’t degrade now, but I can change you back if needed,” he sighed to himself, grinning slightly. “I’m so going to get another telling off about this.” he then snapped his talons for a final time and vanished, leaving me alone with Rainbow and Fluttershy.

We sat and talked for a long while, naturally, they were both a little shocked by my apparently sudden choice, but Dash said she wasn’t completely surprised. After some coaxing, Fluttershy too admitted that she wouldn’t mind this new arrangement. We decided to head for my parents’ house in a little while to tell them, and then to visit Twilight so she could send a letter to the princess. Best of all though, Dash said that she would start on the paperwork to get me into the weather patrol as a reservist.

I felt as if I’d turned a corner in my new life here. I’d gone from being something of a shut in to a pegasus with a decent job and a lot of friends. I felt as if I was starting to become an adult at last, no longer acting and living like a kid. And all I had to do was let the spirit of chaos and disharmony swap my species for a week.

Chapter 66 - Dream Date

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I woke up the next morning feeling fairly refreshed. I’d been able to get in contact with Luna easily enough and had arranged for everything to happen tonight. As soon as the Princess of the Night felt the two of us entering the dreamscape, she would drop by and get us together, solidifying our dream in the process. After that, she would naturally depart to continue her work, and also, she did not wish to intrude upon our time together.

Everything had been arranged now, there was nothing to do but wait for the night to come and then see what happened. In spite of myself, I couldn’t help but feel incredibly excited for what was about to happen. I know that’s a normal response to going on your first date, but still. I kept willing Celestia to make the sun move faster.

However, I still had a fair few things on my plate. The biggest issue was of course, Lizzie. Yesterday had been the day that Discord’s little prank was supposed to finally wear off. Lizzie would naturally change back into a human again and things could get back to normal. At least that is what I had assumed would happen. As it turned out things had gone quite differently from what everypony expected.

I initially, had not been aware of what had happened. It wasn’t until today, a day after, that I heard of what had transpired. I’d seen Lizzie on Saturday, shortly before she was supposed to change back. I’d actually saved her from getting involved in a pretty serious crash. She and Rainbow had, for some reason, decided to turn Sweet Apple Acres into an obstacle course. I’d spotted the two of them weaving and dodging between the trees, chasing each other. Since they seemed to be having fun, I thought nothing of it.

But a few moments later, I realised that they were heading my way; straight toward the farmhouse. I’d waved and shouted at them in an attempt to get their attention, but they were so caught up in their tail chasing that they didn’t realise what was happening. Eventually, Rainbow had thought to look ahead and spotted the danger. I could see that no matter where they went, they were too close to clear the house.

I’d gotten quite good at my telekinesis over the past couple of months. Most unicorns have that ability, but Twilight had said that I was somewhat above average. She’d also said that my skill in defensive magic was quite impressive, suggesting that it might be my special talent, hence my crossed sword cutie mark. Whilst I have learnt a lot from her, I am not as talented, though I do at this point possess a decent repertoire of spells.

Anyway, I knew my magic was strong enough to lift a filly fairly easily, so I ought to be able to take the weight of a full grown mare, or at least slow her down. Focusing on Lizzie, I enveloped her in my magic and pulled as hard as I could. It was a damn close thing, but I managed to bring her to a complete stop, and then lower her back to the ground. Unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to halt Rainbow at the same time; as I said, I’m not as talented, or powerful as Twilight. Luckily, she managed to avoid the wall and go through a bedroom window instead.

After lecturing the pair, I’d done my best to patch Rainbow up. She wasn’t hurt too badly, just a couple cuts. Applejack had then turned up and helped out. We’d then sent the two of them on their way, with Rainbow promising to bring me the bits to repair Granny’s window by next week.

I’d assumed Lizzie would then head back to Fluttershy’s and undergo her transformation. As it turned out though, Lizzie had been wrestling with the idea of staying a pegasus for several days and when she had met up with Discord, had asked him to make it so that she could stay a pegasus for as long as she wished. This had left the remaining three members of her family quite surprised. So, as a family, we were going head over to see her and talk about it. I had no problem with what she was doing; I just wanted to be sure she would be happy.

So, after having breakfast, I kissed Applejack and promised her I’d be back for lunch. Then I headed out for Fluttershy’s, expecting to meet my parents on the way.

Since Fluttershy’s cottage was located on the other side of Ponyville, I had to cross town to get there. Luckily, being a Sunday, there was no market on so the main section of the town was fairly quiet. Most ponies on a Sunday morning were resting up back home. But then again, most ponies didn’t live on one of the largest farms in Equestria.

Still, a few basic amenities were open for business, most notably the newspaper stand. It was here I spotted both of parents. My father was just paying for some Canterlot broadsheet when I trotted up to them.

"Mornin’ Dad, mornin’ Mom,” I said, touching the brim of my hat in turn. My mother looked up, whilst my father continued to examine the morning headlines.

“Oh, hello sweetie,” she said kindly. I dread to think what will happen if me and Sweetie Belle are in the same room together. My mom really needs to learn to lay off the nick names.

“You two doin’ okay?” I asked. Whilst they’d accepted the fact that Lizzie was temporarily a pegasus, I think the revelation that she intended to stay that way had come as something of a shock. It was quite understandable. They’d gone from having two human children, to one human and one pony, and now two ponies. It wouldn’t be that difficult to feel disconnected from the both of us.

Neither of my parents would admit it, but I know that they do sometimes miss ‘me’, that is the human me. Aside from my appearance, little has changed. But it must still be difficult for them; like suddenly finding out you were adopted or switched at birth. They had come to terms with my change, but Lizzie’s change was throwing them just as my own had.

“This has all come as just a bit of a shock I suppose,” my mother said. “I’ve just gotten used to you and now Lizzie’s a pony for life.” She shook her head in confusion. In response, I placed a hoof on her arm. Thank Celestia she’s only 5’4''.

“Relax, y’all have gotten used to me ain’t ya? An’ Lizzie’s change can be switched any time. I’m sure she’d be willing to change back from time to time if you really wanted her to. Just remember, it’s still her, nothin’ has really changed.” She brightened up at my comforting words.

“If you’re quite finished, Bones,” my dad said, folding up his paper. “How about we go and see if we can’t sort this out?” With that, we set off together.

Arriving at Fluttershy’s cottage, we found Discord waiting outside.

“Hello, old man!” my father called as we approached. In spite of everything Discord and my father seem to get on quite well together. I might even go as far to say that they are friends. Discord happily returned his greeting and ushered us inside where we found Lizzie and Fluttershy resting on the sofa.

The three of us settled ourselves down opposite them, whilst Discord fashioned his own armchair from nothingness, with his usual bravado. Since nopony else seemed willing to start a conversation, I began.

“Now, Lizzie, why don’t ya tell us why y’all have had this sudden change of heart ‘bout bein’ a pegasus? The way Ah recollect; when this whole thing started, ya liked it, but ya didn’t want to stay this way forever.” And so Lizzie began her explanation.

“Well, when I first woke up like this, all I could think about was getting back to normal. It wasn’t me, I wasn’t a pony; I was a human. But Princess Celestia told me to try and enjoy myself whilst I was like this, so I did my best to learn a bit about flying.

“At first it really didn’t help much, because I wasn’t very good at flying to start with. But as I learned more and more I really began to enjoy it. Dash even says that my cutie mark,” At this point she blushed as she gestured to her flank. “May have something to do with how much I enjoy flying.

“Once I’d got the basics down, I realised I could help Fluttershy so much more with all the work she does here. Before, when I was a human, I could only really help with the animals that were on the ground; I couldn’t keep up with birds or other flying animals. And because of my size, it was sometimes difficult to help out even then.

“As a pegasus, I can follow Fluttershy to help her wherever she goes. And, because I’m a bit smaller, I don’t take up as much room in the cottage.” At this point, Fluttershy stepped in.

“Lizzie, you don’t take up that much room, and you already help me so much with looking after all my animal friends. You don’t need to help me all the time you know.”

“I just feel like I’ve been mooching off of you, Fluttershy. And you know I hate doing that. I mean, before, all I did was hang out here and help you, and occasionally go out to market to buy stuff. Now though, I can help you much more, Dash has said that she can get me a job on the Weather Patrol so I can start earning some money and eventually I can get out from under your hooves.”

To this day, I can remember the exact moment poor Fluttershy’s heart broke. Lizzie had pretty much declared her intention to eventually move out and get a place of her own. The poor mare’s eyes began to well up.

“Oh, erm, okay,” was all she said in an even quieter voice than usual. Now I am a firm believer in fandom law regarding the fate of those who make Fluttershy cry, but luckily before I could act, Lizzie picked up on what was happening.

“I didn’t mean like I wanted to leave, Shy,” she said. “I just don’t want to feel like I’m mooching off of you all the time. That’s why I wanted to stay a pegasus; I’ve been a shut in ever since I got here really. But this past week I’ve really started living again, and I want to pay you back for it.” Fluttershy scooted closer to her.

“Lizzie you don’t need to do that. I took you in because you needed somewhere to stay. You’ve become a great friend to me and helped me so much. Don’t ever think that you owe me anything.” The confidence and volume of her voice began to steadily grow. “You’ve never once been a mooch, you’ve always been eager to help me and pulled your weight. You’ve helped me on Nightmare Night and organised that great party in November. I love having you here. You’re like a daughter to me.”

And then the room went quiet.

“And cue super cute mother daughter reveal moment,” Discord said, contributing for the first time. Both Lizzie and Fluttershy were looking around awkwardly. Silence reigned for a while.

“So that’s why ya were always so protective of her,” I said at length. “Ah just thought it was because of how you cared for all the animals ya look after.” Fluttershy still refused to make eye contact, but did manage to just about mutter out an explanation.

“It’s just; she was so scared when I first saw her in the Everfree Forest. All I could think of was to help her. After a while we both just kind of got used to how we were both acting.” It was understandable in a way; Fluttershy was highly maternal, her caring for animals could be seen as her projecting. She didn’t have any foals of her own, so she looked after them instead. I imagine it was the same effect with Lizzie, and in a way Discord.

Sweet Celestia, there’s a thought. The same could be said of Lizzie, perhaps missing Mom a bit she began to ‘imprint’ on Fluttershy due to her behaviour. Trying to get the discussion going again, I turned to Lizzie.

“Sis, maybe ya could do what Ah do and just give Fluttershy an informal rent, if it’s the idea of livin’ here for free that’s got ya so worked up.”

“I do like living here, and I do like living with Fluttershy and all the animals.” She turned to Fluttershy. “If you let me chip in for food and everything else then sure; I’ll stay.”

Instantly, Fluttershy pounced on her, wrapping Lizzie in a hug. I don’t think Lizzie really wanted to leave Fluttershy either if I’m honest. She’s just a bit like me; she hates the idea that she’s getting something for nothing.

Now that that was sorted, we came to the other reasons she wanted to stay a pegasus. For this, me, Dad and Discord were all politely, but firmly, ordered out so that the assembled members of the opposite gender could talk. For the entire time, Discord messed with our heads suggesting who it might be Lizzie has her eye on. As a result Dad and I need to go and see off Thunderlane, the Doctor, Noteworthy, Bulk Biceps and Caramel. Though to be fair, Caramel I could live with. I always figured that the idea of love would somehow factor into the equation. She’d been in a relationship before we found ourselves here. And, she was the only member of our family not with someone. In the long run, it was a sound reason. Though I prefer the previous explanation. Eventually, we were allowed back inside.

With that, there was little left to talk about. Lizzie said she planned to join the local Weather Patrol and work with Rainbow to pay her way, but would also help out Fluttershy when she could. None of us had any reason to disagree with her decision, and personally, I agreed with her. If I’d stayed a human when we arrived, I’d have probably asked Discord to change me too. We all then went back to our respective homes, with the exception of Discord who vanished in his usual fashion. I meanwhile, with the clock just striking one, headed back to Sweet Apple Acres.

Due to my stopping at the market to pick up a few things, as well as dropping by the library to see Twilight and Spike, and take a book or two out, it was quite late in the afternoon when I got back; around half past three. From the market, I’d just picked up a few odds and ends that I knew we were in need of. A few foodstuffs here and there and some materials to replace the window and frame in Granny’s bedroom. Big Mac and I were planning on doing that tomorrow morning, for tonight, Granny would have to make do with the somewhat unsightly piece of plywood fastened over the damaged frame. The sight made me remember my old home somewhat, though not in a good way.

I also renewed ‘Treatise Upon the Darker Magicks’ to continue my study of it. The book provided a fascinating insight into both dark magic itself and Sombra as a pony, both of which were portions of my knowledge that had been previously quite limited. As I’ve said before I respected Sombra somewhat as an opponent and the magic he used fascinated me. Tonight, I planned to read up on some of the more advanced spells, such as the restraining spell he had used against Shining Armor; you never know when such a skill may come in handy.

As I wound my way up the dusty path though, I came across Big Mac, heading in the opposite direction. At first I assumed he was going to meet Apple Bloom at the schoolhouse. But then I remembered, she was off with her friends this afternoon, and had said she wouldn’t be back until supper time. So where was he off to?

“Hey there, Mac,” I called as he drew nearer. In response, the stallion started and whinnied in surprise, evidently having been lost in his thoughts. In an unusually graceful move, he then leapt behind one of the large apple trees that lined the path, partially vanishing from sight. A moment later though, he emerged again and eyeballed me.

“Oh, it’s you, Bones,” he said, sounding embarrassed. “Sorry, Ah thought ya were Sis.” I was perplexed.

“Big Macintosh, what in the name of Celestia are ya doin’ back there?” I asked, somewhat confused by his antics. He now returned to the path, and I saw a small bouquet of flowers in his hoof. He had also combed his mane and I could smell the faint scent of cologne on the air.

“Oh, erm, Ah was just...” He broke eye contact with me. “Erm, goin’ out. Yep, just heading on out.” His eyes darted about nervously. I’d never seen the usually quiet and relaxed stallion so animated. Since I had a fair idea of what he was doing, I tried to remove some of the tension in the air.

“Ya goin’ to see Cheerilee again, aren’t ya.” He instantly balked at my accusation.

Now, just to give some context, Mac can be a bit like me when it comes to matters of the heart. He sees love as a very private affair, and doesn’t like the idea of anypony else knowing about it. Though the way he acted made it quite obvious. Still, he didn’t want AJ or Granny to know about his occasional rendezvous with Ponyville’s only school teacher. The two of them had been seeing each other every now and again ever since the incident with the love poison and they seemed to get on quite well together, like AJ and me.

In response to my statement, Big Mac scratched the back of his head nervously.

“Ya know, nopony has any problem with what y’all are doin’, Mac,” I said when he stayed quiet. “Anyway, Ah best let ya get on. Don’t think either of us want to keep our mares waitin’ do we?” I chucked, tipped my hat and then trotted past him letting him go on his merry way.

When I reached the farmhouse, I continued to prepare myself for the evening, beginning with a good wash. I know I’ve said that AJ isn’t as uptight as Rarity or other high class ponies may be, but still, I’m sure she expects her date to be well turned out. I did my upmost to make my mane sit just right, with all the dust brushed out. I did the same for my coat and tail. I guess this is what being a girl is like, the amount of knots made things just impossible. Eventually though, I was good and ready.

After dinner then, it was time for my act to begin. It seemed a little silly to sleep apart given that we would be sharing our dreams and consequently minds with each other. However, I also knew that Big Mac would undoubtedly reduce me to a puddle if he heard that I had been sleeping in AJ’s bed or vice versa. Whilst I didn’t intend for anything to happen, it was an understandable reaction from a protective older brother.

So to get around this problem we decided to not sleep in either of our beds. Instead, given that it was fairly warm weather, even at night time, we decided to sleep out in the apple orchards. In my mind that sounded like quite a romantic gesture anyway.

Around nine o’clock the two of us wished Granny and AB a good night and headed out into the fading sunset. It was supposed to be a waxing crescent moon tonight, providing us with more than enough light to see by even after the sun had set. That’s actually one of my pet peeves; ponies think that night time is a complete inky blackness; it’s not, with clear weather it’s easy to see the horizon and by the light of a full moon, you can easily see where you are going, even seeing lunar shadows. You just have to let your eyes adjust.

We walked a fair distance from the house, but not so far as that it would take a long time to get help if anything happened. In the end, we decided to settle on a small elevated spot of land that overlooked the west orchard. I pitched the large, rolled up blanket I had brought with me from off my back, and carefully spread it out flat on the ground. Even though it was dry and warm, it would do us no good to sleep on the ground. Applejack meanwhile had brought a small basket of snacks and drinks to keep us going.

The two of us then contentedly lay down to rest, tucking our legs underneath us to be comfortable. As we relaxed, control of Equestria switched from Celestia to Luna and the moon steadily began to rise higher into the sky, the stars quickly following it. A few minutes later, the twilight had passed and it was night time. The world had grown quiet; nothing to be heard but the water flowing in the brook and the curious sound of grass tearing from the sheep and cattle.

The two of us looked up into the night sky, with Applejack leaning into me and resting me head against me. I had expected my heart to be pounding by now, but instead, I was calm; at peace. Eventually, the two of us drifted off to sleep.

I had assumed that Luna would simply connect our separate dreams together and then be on her merry way. Celestia knows she often has a fair bit of work to do every night. However, in this instance I was mistaken, as I found myself quite lucid in a dream that was not of my own creation.

I found myself in a very large, expansive room, though despite the size, it was clear that wherever I was, the place was somewhere you’d go if you were looking for a fairly high class joint. It had a decent look in general, with fake Chinese style lamps hanging from the ceiling and lamps sitting on the many tables. The style, particularly the various archways that I could see, seemed somewhat Arabian in origin. However, the people populating this dream were definitely extra-terrestrial.

The majority were ponies of varying races though here and there I saw a few griffons, clad in slate grey military uniforms, most of them looked to be officers. Some of the ponies also seemed to be military, though not Royal Guard. A few wore old fashioned military kepis in a variety of colours. Looking down, I found I was wearing white tux and black bow tie.

The place was noisy with voices and the chiming notes of an old piano. Stale cigarette smoke hung in the air. No doubt about it, this was almost certainly a bar of some sort and perhaps a casino, judging by all the card games going on and the tell-tale sound of a roulette wheel. A club was probably a better description though where I wasn’t quite sure yet.

Looking around, I quickly spotted the bar, with a unicorn serving as a bartender. There were bottles of all sorts behind him, including a few bottles of what looked to be Luna’s moonshine. It was as I looked along the bar, that I spotted the familiar face of Applejack.

“Oh, hey there, Applejack,” I called as I spotted her and began to head over. The orange mare was equally glad to see me.

“Bones, Ah was wonderin’ when ya were gonna show up. Not polite to keep a mare waitin’ ya know.” She chuckled to herself.

“Ya seen Princess Luna ‘round here, AJ?” I asked. This wasn’t my dream and it didn’t appear to be hers, leaving the princess as the only explanation. Applejack gestured toward the piano near the far end of the room. There was Luna, talking to the black earth pony that was playing. The two seemed to be having a chat. I did my best to pick up what was being said.

Luna had settled herself down at a table just next to the piano and was talking to the somewhat nervous looking piano player.

“It’s been a long time,” she said.

“Yes, ma’am; a lot of water under the bridge,” the earth pony replied. Luna smiled sweetly.

“Some of the old songs, Sam.” The earth pony nodded and began to play a tune before Luna interrupted him. “Where is Blade Star?”

“I don’t know; I ain’t seen him all night,” he replied, continuing to play.

“When will he be back?”

“Not tonight; he ain’t coming. He went home.”

“Does he always leave so early?” Luna asked.

“Oh no, he never…” the pony trailed off. “Well, he’s got a girl right now up at the Blue Parrot, see?” Luna smiled, slightly disappointed.

“You used to be a much better liar, Sam.” Luna remarked.

“Leave him alone, Miss Luna,” he implored. Changing the subject, Luna gestured to the piano.

“Play it once, Sam. For old times’ sake,” she said softly.

“I don’t know what you mean, Miss Luna,” he replied, lying pretty badly.

“Play it, Sam. Play ‘As Time Goes By’.”

“Oh, er, I can’t remember it, Ms Luna. I’m a little rusty on it.” Luna began to hum the familiar tune. And in response, Sam began to play. I now knew for sure exactly where I was.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNrA5QgNd7Y

"Out of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine,” I said, thinking out loud. Luna smiled, looking at me. Deciding to play along with the act, I stormed over toward the piano, and crossly said:

“Sam! Ah thought Ah told ya never to play…” I subtly cut myself off as Luna and I made eye contact. The earth pony took the opportunity to close the offending instrument and softly wheel it, and himself, away. I looked at the mare before me with a gleam in my eye, and she did the same.

“Hello, Luna,”

“Hello, Blade Star” she replied. At this point AJ appeared behind me, having followed me and jumped into the conversation, cutting off the faux-romantic moment.

“Would ya like to join us for a drink, Princess?” she asked.

And so the three of us sat down at the bar for a while, just chatting with each other. Luna eventually revealed her motives for doing all of this as I explained one of the greatest films ever made to AJ. She had apparently seen the film and wanted to set a romantic mood for the date; a little send off. And to enjoy the atmosphere.

“So what made ya chose this Casablanca place?” Applejack asked, the name sounding foreign on her tongue. With a grin Luna replied;

“I came to Casablanca for the waters,” she said.

“The waters? What waters? This place is more of a desert town than Dodge Junction.” Applejack countered.

“I was misinformed,” the diarch replied, which made me chuckle.

We then all polished off our drink and AJ and I prepared to depart. Wishing the two of us a pleasant evening, Luna flared her horn and the ponified version of 1940’s North Africa disappeared into the void that replaced it. And thus began our date.

Chapter 67 - London

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With Luna having departed to continue her nightly work, I took control over the dream Applejack and I were sharing. We found ourselves, as I was accustomed to, in a white void of a landscape. The experience can be a little unsettling the first few times for some, but AJ didn’t seem to show any signs of unease. So, I began to form the dream around us, steadily bringing it into focus. Whilst Luna was not with us per se, she would stabilise the dream for us and make sure we both stayed lucid.

The white void steadily began to be replaced by a cityscape. As ever, to begin with, things were slightly out of focus and sounds were distorted. But after a few moments, we found ourselves standing on a busy street with loud voices and car horns filling the air. Equestrian cities aren’t much like this; sure, they are busier than small towns like Ponyville, but not even large cities like Manehatten compare to London or New York. There just aren’t any real assholes in any of them. For the most part, Equestrians are decent people.

I knew I was in the correct city; all the road signs were in English and everyone was driving on the correct side of the road. I wasn’t quite sure exactly where we were though, and twirled around for a moment to orientate myself. I quickly realised that we were a little ways off from where I had intended to start. We were on Tothill Street; just up the road was the A302 and Westminster Abbey. The two of us began to walk up the road.

“So ‘Jack, what do ya think of this so far?” I asked. Applejack turned to look at me, her ears twitching.

“It’s a mite loud don’t ya think, Bones. Hayseed, Ah’ve lived in Manehatten and it weren’t like this.” To be fair, it was around midday, so the traffic was busy. I thought for a moment. Of course the answer was simple. With a mere thought, the traffic vanished, replaced by fewer and far older looking cars. I had turned back the clock, by about fifty years, give or take.

“Better now?” I asked. AJ nodded in approval. It was probably a better idea anyway. There were now none of those ghastly modern buildings and Canary Wharf still docked ships. And don’t even get me started about The Shard. The weather had also changed, it was now fairly sunny outside and warm, just a little bit cooler than Ponyville was at the moment.

We eventually reached the main road and found crossing it to be fairly easy. Commuting is so much simpler when you can gallop at around thirty miles an hour. And so we came upon the dear abbey. I’d actually been here in reality once before, with my father. We’d gone there for a funeral and had a bit of time afterwards to look around.

Applejack and I entered through the West door, which put us along the main route of most of the church services and state events that took place here. Quite soon after entering, as worked our way through the Nave, we came upon one of the big differences between Equestria and Earth. Before us lay the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior, who represented all the British troops lost in the Great War. I explained it all to AJ, translating the inscription as I went. Perhaps there was still a bit of a patriot in me.

We then wound our way past the choir stands eventually working our way to the High Alter. The two of us stared at it in awe. It is a beautiful piece of artisan craft, considering when it was first built so long ago. The two of us sat down in the pews not too far from the pulpit, looking at everything, taking it all in; the artistry, the carvings, the beautiful stained glass windows, everything.

Of course, as this was a dream, the usual restrictions of such a place did not apply, the day would last as long as we wanted it to, I could make it so that no one else would come up this way and disturb us. Applejack and I even lit two small candles for her parents, something which she is usually very private about.

After spending about an hour in Westminster Abbey, we continued on with our little tour. We worked our way up to Parliament Square and Big Ben quickly came into view. I told Applejack about the infamous ‘Battle of the Bongs’ when the BBC and ITV began to fight over who had the rights to play the striking of Big Ben on the hourly news. Needless to say, that made AJ laugh, it’s still funny to me if I’m honest.

Applejack, despite being a more practical mare, was still quite interested in everything around her. I happily explained about the various buildings that we could see. Whilst she had the accent, she didn’t behave like most Americans did in London when they were playing tourist. We actually ended up waiting for the hour to strike so we could listen to it live.

After that, we doubled back on ourselves, heading away from the river towards St James’ Park. Turning left, we followed Horse Guards Road along the park. It was quite nice to mix a little bit of greenery with the otherwise urban setting of London. It was nothing like Sweet Apple Acres of course, and certainly, the trees had nothing in common with the Everfree Forest. It did however remind me of the old common near where I had used to live. About halfway between the junction where we had turned onto Horse Guards Road and the parade ground we headed into the park itself.

Since it was such a nice sunny day, the two of us found an unoccupied bench and sat ourselves down. For a moment, Applejack attempted to mimic the humans around us, sitting in a style similar to Lyra, but she quickly resettled herself. Applejack, like most inhabitants of Ponyville, rarely visits a major city. I hadn’t been to London for several years myself. As you might expect, we were glad for the relative peace of the parkland.

Since it was getting on for lunchtime, we could easily hear Big Ben striking every quarter hour, we decided to rest in the park for a while to have a bite to eat. Of course, being a dream, it was quite easy to create a few sandwiches, drinks and what not. I suppose this must be what it is like for Discord; you merely will something into existence, and it is there before you. The two of sat there on that bench contentedly chatting and people watching.

“So how are ya likin’ London so far, ‘Jack?” I asked contently, as I looked up at the clouds that dotted the light blue midday sky. “Certainly a big change from Ponyville ain’t it.” Applejack nodded.

“Sure is, Bones. Been a mighty long time since Ah got to play tourist. It sorta reminds me of Manehatten a bit, but it weren’t never like this.” She was having a similar reaction to me when I’d first come here. A busy city environment can be quite overwhelming for someone who rarely leaves their hometown. On the flipside though, I remember a friend back in high school who moved out to my way from Manchester, he couldn’t stand how quiet everything could be, or the fact that most people in town knew each other.

“Ya know, we’ve been livin’ together for the better part of a year, and that is the first time Ah’ve ever heard you bring that up,” I said, interest clear in my voice. It is a fact that Applejack, like all of us, had a few secrets and things she preferred not to talk about. So I considered it a good sign of our mutual trust.

“Well, Ah haven’t had much of a reason to. Ah know ya know a little bit ‘bout it anyway.” I shifted in my seat.

“Ya want to talk about it?” I asked, treading carefully. Applejack thought for a moment.

“Bones, have ya ever felt like ya didn’t belong somewhere?” she asked me. I grinned.

“Only for most of my years as a teenager,” I replied. That got a laugh out of her.

“Well, Ah just didn’t think farmin’ was right for me back then. Ma and Pa had passed a few years ago and Ah just wanted to start fresh. So, Ah picked someplace that was the exact opposite of Ponyville; and that was Manehattan. Trust me, Bones, ya could walk the streets of that place for years and never see the same pony twice. Plus, Ah sorta had this silly idea that Ah could join all them city slickers in their high society.” That last sentence was spoken with a strong sense of disgust. “Anyway, Ah went out there to live with my relatives.” I stepped in.

“Your Aunt and Uncle Orange, right?” She nodded.

“Right, Ah thought that kind of life was for me. Course, turned out it wasn’t, and not a day goes by that I don’t thank Celestia that I came to my senses and went back home. I just knew Ah didn’t belong there, Bones. The way some of those ponies acted with each other, well, Ah wasn’t gonna be like them. So, Ah left.”

“But why not just try someplace else? Why did ya go back home?” I asked curiously, though still treading carefully.

“Bones,” Applejack sighed softly. “When Ma and Pa passed, we were all broken up. Granny lost her son and her daughter-in-law, Big Macintosh and Ah lost our folks, and we had lil' Apple Bloom to care for. Ah was upset, Ah was scared and Ah sure as hay didn’t know what I was gonna do. Ah thought that a fresh start was what Ah needed, that Ah could just run away from my problems like some stupid little filly.” At this point, she stopped speaking, tears beginning to run down her eyes.

I quickly leaned over to her and embraced her in a hug. My left hoof ran over her back as I comforted her. The poor mare had pretty much just bared her soul to me.

“Shh, ‘Jack, it’s okay, it’s okay,” I said comfortingly. She continued to weep quietly. “Let me tell ya a little story I grew up with.

“Once, long ago, there were two sons. Their father divided all his wealth between the two. Now, the youngest one, left his home and squandered all his money until he was poor. He soon realised how foolish he had been, and set off back towards his home. He did not expect his father to have him back, and planned to beg him to let him become a labourer instead.

“But when he got back to the farm, the father ran out to meet him and threw his arms around him. The son believed that his father would be angry with him, but instead the father said ‘Let us have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was lost, and now he is found.’.

“Applejack, nopony thought you were silly for doin’ that, Ah know so. Ah know that everypony was just glad to have you back home again.” I smirked to myself, releasing her from the hug. “Sorry, Ah know that must sound a mite strange, considering Ah wasn’t there at the time. But Ah guarantee you, AJ, everypony was glad to just have you back.”

Applejack lifted her head out from where she had buried in it my chest to look up at me. The tears and stopped, and she carefully was dabbing at her eyes. And for the first time since she began to tell the story, she smiled. Mind you, this only lasted for a second as she quickly hugged me back and kissed me on the lips. As she pulled away, she said:

“Ah love you, Sugarcube.”

The two of us sat there cuddling each other for an hour or so, just enjoying the sunlight and the warmth and the peace. Personally, I never realised that I was so good at consoling ponies, and people, until then.

After about an hour or so, we set off to continue our little sightseeing tour of London. We quickly headed back the way we had came towards Horse Guards Road and followed that to the Mall.

The Mall of course, is quite famous, for nothing else but the many processions that have come along it. Coronations, weddings, trooping the colour. Plus, it is quite a sight empty, the whole road lined with Union flags. I demonstrated a bit of pub quiz knowledge to AJ by pointing out that it was only a jack when it flew from a jack staff on a warship. Then of course there were all the flags of the Commonwealth. You have to admit, it’s a clever way to keep an informal empire going by ‘staying friends’.

As we continued up the road, we got a pleasant treat. The Queen’s Life Guards were trotting along the road in the same direction. A part of the Household Cavalry, they were an impressive sight to behold, even in just their ceremonial role, I would not fancy picking a fight with them. I told AJ they were probably on their way to conduct the Changing of the Life Guard ceremony. As the squadron marched past in perfect order AJ spoke to me.

“Ya know, Bones, this is about the only time Ah’ve ever seen horses this close. Ya hear about them, but they’re not often seen in Equestria. Ah mean, last time was years ago, when we were going to the Grand Gallopin’ Gala with Twi.” The two of us shuddered at the shared memory of those particular ‘horses’.

“This country was pretty dependant on horses till we worked out how to make engines, ‘Jack. And Ah guarantee that to this day cavalry troops are still seen as the crème de la crème of the army.” Applejack’s face showed the confusion in her mind.

“Uh, what’s ‘cavalry’, Bones?” she asked perplexedly.

“Well, ya know it’s when…” I trailed off. “Oh right, sorry ‘Jack. Ah guess all Royal Guards are cavalry in a way. But since humans can’t move that fast, they’d ride horses like those so they could get around the battlefield faster.” She thought for a moment.

“So, Ah suppose, kind of like the pegasus guards they have in Canterlot; they move quick and get there first.” I nodded.

“Pretty much. Ah didn’t know you knew much about the Royal Guard, AJ,” I commented. Applejack chuckled.

“Hey, when ya have the little sister of their captain just down the way and a coltfriend who has a cutie mark in fightin’ magic, ya pick up a few things.” The two of us chuckled as we came upon the gates of Buckingham Palace. I guess the pleasant conversation made the walk up the Mall much shorter.

And so, we came upon the large, ornate gates of the palace, and of course, the two guards that were on station there. Directly in front of us was the large roundabout that separated the Mall from the gates to the palace. Directly in front of us, dominating the skyline was the memorial to Queen Victoria.

We steadily wove our way around, heading left; to our right was the way to Constitution Hill, whilst this way would eventually lead us to Birdcage Walk. Of course, we would be doing neither, going directly up to the palace. This was quite a famous locale, for nothing else but the media coverage. This place would fill up with people when important events took place. I vaguely remembered coming here with my parents and a very young Lizzie when Dianna passed. Oddly enough, that is one of my earliest memories, hearing that the poor girl had been killed. Still, this place had also been one of great happiness, the Royal Wedding not so long ago being one of them.

“Weirdly enough, AJ, our weddin’ happened ‘bout the same time as the one in Equestria, though, er, with decidedly less changelings to worry ‘bout.” Celestia knows they took a ton of safety precautions, just like they did at the Olympics. Still, I never could quite believe that William copied Shrining Armor’s uniform. Eh, constants and variables as they say.

Eventually, we completed our little half circuit and came up to the gates of the palace. Looking up, I saw the Royal Standard on the rooftop, fluttering in the breeze. Plus there were four guards on watch instead of the usual two. Evidently, the old girl was in.

“Hey, AJ, take a look at that.” Applejack followed my extended hoof. “See that flag? That means that the Queen’s in residence. Ah’d like to bet they’ll be changing the guard soon too.”

And speak of the devil, they were. Just as were getting close to the palace, I spotted the St James’ detachment coming up the road to join their counterparts at Buckingham Palace. The two groups came to a halt in front of the palace and patiently awaited the arrival of their relief, in the form of the new guard. They soon came into view having marched from Wellington Barracks. The old guard were quickly joined by the band, which was playing a few old patriotic pieces.

At length, having undergone their own inspection, the new guard arrived and turned to face the old. As the two closed with each other they both presented their arms, marking the official handover. Salutes with swords were exchanged and the various sentries were posted and the old ones joined their comrades in the old guard. Finally, the two colours exchanged salutes. All parties were then called to attention and the old guard marched away, as did the new guard’s St James’ detachment.

The two of us, like everyone else that had been watching the spectacle, had done so in near complete silence. However, with the official handover complete, we were free to talk again.

“Shoot, Bones,” AJ said. “And here was me thinkin’ them ponies in Canterlot were mighty impressive. And all that just to swap places.” She shook her head in amazement.

It then, much to my horror, dawned on me that I had been acting more like a tour guide than a date. I had picked London because it was such a different place to our norm and there was so much to do and see. I hadn’t intended to turn it into a school trip. After mustering up the courage, I asked AJ.

“Applejack, Ah haven’t been boring ya have Ah? Ah mean, Ah know this is interestin’ and stuff, but were s’posed to be on a date ain’t we?”

“Well, ya seemed to be enjoying yourself, so Ah didn’t want to rain on your parade,” she replied, smiling innocently. I facehoofed hard at that.

“Applejack! Ya should’ve said somethin’!” I exclaimed. “Ah set this whole thing up for you to have a nice time, not just follow me around.” I now felt decidedly stupid, curse my lack of dating experience.

“Now, now, Sugarcube,” she chided gently. “It ain’t nothin’. Ah was enjoyin’ myself just fine. And ya should know ya don’t need to go and be all mushy with me; Ah ain’t Rarity,”

At this point I was saved by Applejack’s rumbling stomach. The cowpony turned an adorable shade of red and pulled her hat down a little. She chuckled a little to cover up her embarrassment.

“Well, on that note, how ‘bout we go get some supper in us and settle up for the evening?” In response, AJ softly cuffed me round the head and the two of us headed off to have dinner together.

And so, I attempted to rekindle my skills in the lost art of hailing a cab, something that is easily forgotten if you’ve been living in the sticks for a fair portion of your life. Eventually though, a typical London black cab pulled over and we got in.

One of the most difficult parts of the date to think up was where to take Applejack for dinner. The first problem of course, was that most of the eateries in London were, naturally, of the high class variety, the sort of place I had taken Rarity to in Canterlot. Needless to say, that was not the best place to take a mare such as Applejack. I remember when I told her about it, she commented on how small the available portions were and the two of us had a good laugh.

I couldn’t take her to some lower class place either, as most of those tended to be pubs that been converted to serve food. As much as they were good places, I couldn’t take my date there.

It was then though, that I thought of a type of establishment, of which there was no counterpart in Equestria. The nation had analogues of several American and British cities, and a fair bit of western culture. There were also smatterings of Arabic culture, as well as French and German, the latter found usually amongst griffons. But to my knowledge, there was no counterpart for India. Consequently, nopony in Equestria had ever had a decent curry. And so, I instructed the cabbie to take us to an Indian restaurant about ten minutes away.

Indian restaurants, for those who are unfamiliar with them, are usually quite nice places, like an upper class restaurant, but with more and better food. I hadn’t been to a place like this in months, so I hoped it would be a pleasant experience for both of us. After paying the cabbie, we quickly made our way inside and got ourselves a table.

“So, what kind of vittles’ do they serve at this place, Bones?” Applejack asked me as she settled herself down.

“Well,” I paused to think for a moment. “Most of the stuff here uses spices in the dishes. There are plenty of vegetable dishes, don’t worry. But I usually start with popadoms. They’re, kind of like chips Ah s’pose and they come with a couple dips.” These were brought over to us a moment later, and the waiter took our orders.

“What do ya reckon Ah should get, Bones?” AJ asked. To be fair, I found the menu quite baffling the first time. Luckily, as is often the case, the waiter offered a couple suggestions.

“If you don’t want a dish with meat in it, I’d recommend the vegetable rogan josh,” he said helpfully. I agreed, so she settled for that.

“And Ah think Ah’ll have the chicken korma.” That was my favourite dish anyway and it was a dream, so I wasn’t as fearful of how my digestive system might react. “Could we have a pilau rice to share and a couple plain naans.”

“Certainly, sir,” the waiter replied. He then returned to the kitchen.

About twenty minutes later, the waiter returned with our meals. I must confess the look on AJ’s face was priceless. Indian food is quite…colourful and my little sister did on one occasion refer to a korma as ‘cat sick’. After the waiter left, AJ looked to me

“What in the name of all things oats and apples is this, Bones?” she asked, looking at her rogan josh, alarmed.

“Don’t worry, ‘Jack, trust me the stuff tastes real good. Just…don’t try to work out what it is,” I grinned at her like a complete troll, but she picked up on my joke.

Over the next half hour the two of us happily chatted together over the dinner. We actually had a lot of fun, particularly when I tried to teach AJ how to use the naan as cutlery, which is actually what it is meant for. At length though, the two of us finished our meals and sat back. Indian cuisine is quite heavy on the stomach.

“Whoo-ee, that was some mighty good eatin’ there, Bones,” Applejack said contentedly.

“Told ya that it was good, didn’t Ah,” I replied. “Anyway, ya fancy turnin’ in for the night?” she nodded sleepily, another effect of the food.

I paid the check myself of course, indulging in the use of paper money, which for some reason has not yet reached Equestria. We then caught another cab to a nice little hotel. We wouldn’t be there long, as we were already dreaming, there was little point to falling asleep. Instead, the two of us simply lay down on the bed and closed our eyes.

A moment later, of course, it was morning and we were well rested and ready to get going. After a quick breakfast in the hotel, the two of us prepared for the cross country part of the date. Next stop was Kingsclere.

Chapter 68 - The Downs

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So after having had our ‘sleep’ the previous night, the two of us woke up bright and early and headed downstairs to breakfast. It was your typical hotel faire really; one of those buffets places. Pretty much everything you could reasonably want for breakfast was on display. I decided to take this opportunity to introduce Applejack to the wonderful meal that we call a Full English Breakfast, albeit the vegetarian version. Even in a dream, my pony half was not willing to ingest bacon, black pudding or sausage. Still, fried eggs, hash browns, beans and toast were decent, and there were some quorn sausages on offer.

After getting this hearty breakfast down our gullets, we left the hotel and caught a cab. My plan was to take a train from London’s Paddington station, which in turn resulted in me spinning a couple of stories about a bear from Darkest Peru, we would eventually end up at Whitchurch. When we got off the train, we’d head east for a few miles back along the railway line and then swing north to head towards the open downland for some sightseeing.

As per my father’s advice, I paid for the hotel, the cab and the train tickets myself, whilst the money was of course just as much a fantasy as everything else, I think Applejack appreciated the gesture. Heading outside, AJ attempted to hail a black cab. After several failed attempts to get their attention, she put a hoof to her mouth and let out the loudest whistle I’ve ever heard. Literally, half the cabbies on the road stuck their head out, needless to say that got us a cab and a bit of a laugh. We spent the trip to Paddington chatting with the cabbie, nine times out of ten London black cab drivers are great people to talk to.

At length, we arrived at the railway station. I’d forgotten just how large the place was, a true testament to British engineering and skill. With a bit of help from some of the staff, we were able to find our train and settle down. One of the many benefits of this dream dating idea was that we had a compartment completely to ourselves for the whole trip, and for the first time in centuries, the British railway network ran on time with no delays.

For the next couple of hours, Applejack and I, now far more wide awake than when we began this journey, happily chatted as the green fields of England rushed by our window. We had to be going at a fair rate of knots by the look of things. The two of us grabbed some coffee from the little drinks trolley that continually made its rounds up and down the train.

“So, what’s this place we’re goin’ again?” Applejack asked as we continued to fly along the main line.

“We’re gettin’ off at a place called Whitchurch, AJ,” I replied. “Ah figured we might try a bit of the countryside for a while. The whole pace is open downland for miles around. We’ll get off there, take a bus a little ways back and then start walking. Trust me; this place has the most amazin’ views for miles around.”

“So how far are we talkin’, Bones?” she asked. My response, were it to a human, would have probably made me look like a slave driver, but as an equine, it was easy to go longer distances before getting tired.

“Well, as the crow flies, should be around seven, maybe eight miles. Don’t worry though, it’s easy goin’ level ground for the most part.” Applejack nodded contently.

“What made ya pick this place anyway? And why all this walkin’?” she continued.

“Ah used to come here all the time with my dad when Ah was a young’un. Just him and me, we’d get a room at one of the taverns ‘round here and then spend the day walkin’ ‘round. And of course,” I paused. “Do you remember that book Ah gave Fluttershy?” Applejack raised an eyebrow at me.

“Ah remember she didn’t take kindly to it. First time Ah think anypony’s broken a door down to return a book.” Yeah, okay, maybe giving Fluttershy ‘Watership Down’ to read wasn’t my best move.

“Well, it was ‘round here that that story was set. We’ll actually pass by a couple of landmarks from the story.”

My route was quite close to a few famous landmarks actually. We’d head to Overton, cross the River Test and the railway line, pass by close to Efrafa then work our way towards Caesar’s Belt and finally work our way onto the down itself.

Anyway, whilst Fluttershy and her rabbit from Tartarus hadn’t really cared for the story that much, Applejack seemed quite interested in it. Having read that story one too many times, as you can probably tell, I knew a fair portion of it off the top of my head. It only occurred to me several hours later that, as this was a dream, I could have simply willed a copy into existence, in Equestrian, and given it to Applejack to read. But hey, you live and learn.

Eventually, we arrived into Overton. It had been quite a nice experience to ride an old BR steam service for once. It was certainly more pleasant than most modern commuter trains I was familiar with. Plus they were such wonderful machines to look at. If only Equestria could adopt their designs rather than those disturbingly pink monstrosities. Well, at least I don’t have to ride them every day like Dad does.

The two of us stepped down onto the platform, with me going first to help Applejack down, that earned me a blush from her and a coy look. We left the railway station at Whitchurch and quickly found our way to the bus stop that would take us to Overton. At length we boarded a small single decker bus and took a short ride back up the way we had come.

Ponyville is a rural settlement. That is an obvious fact. However, the whole area is more open land than you’d expect. In Britain, living rurally means hedgerows and narrow country lanes. And, if I’m honest, it was that which I had been missing. Ponyville is grassland, perhaps a consequence of the dominant species which prefer open country. Eventually, we would reach that kind of country, but for the most part, our journey involved small paths through copses and narrow lanes, as well as a bit of farmland. The downs though, should prove to be a bit of fun, as there are a number of gallops running across them. More than once when I was out there with my dad, we’d had to scramble to get out of the way of oncoming riders, show jumpers for the most part. So, we’d have a nice pleasant walk through the countryside, something AJ would be a little more familiar with, but still something new for her.

Eventually, the small bus we had been taking stopped at Overton, a pretty enough little town. The two of us got off and I began to lead Applejack towards our first stop. I also, just in case we needed it, fashioned a couple water canteens and some chocolate bars to keep us going.

The first part of the journey was arguably the most trying. As we left Overton, we had to not only work our way along concrete roads, but also cross the shallow Test, as well as the railway line. Once we passed those though, things eased up a bit. I did my best to tell AJ about what we would be coming up against, she seemed unfazed.

“Hayseed, Bones! Ah’ve gone through way worse country than this. If Ah can get through the Everfree Forest and deliver pies to those Cajun outposts, then Ah ain’t gonna make a fuss ‘bout a bit of water an’ some rocky roads,” she assured me. And so we began.

We first stuck to the pavement in Overton, passing by quite a few old English cottages along the way. Quite quickly our hooves began to feel a little uncomfortable, hard concrete and tarmac is not exactly a forgiving material. I think the both of us prefer the dirt tracks and grasslands that we are used to. Hay, not even Canterlot has tarmac, the place mainly uses cobblestones on the roads.

Still, the two of us continued, eventually leaving the small town and coming to a T-junction. Following this we eventually began to run alongside the River Test. Under the clear water, you could easily see dozens of small fish darting about, just beneath the surface, occasionally a mouth appeared to catch some unfortunate insect. At length, we came to the bridge over the river. By this point, it was much wider, able to take small craft along, whereas before, you could quite easily hop over it.

Having cleared the Test, we came to an end of the tarmac. Following a familiar route, I led AJ carefully onto an old footpath. We soon found ourselves well away from any road or other indication of civilisation. It was nice to be able to hear nought but the bird song and the buzzing of insects, though the latter did naturally put me on guard.

We steadily weaved our way through the trees, the two of us chatting happily. Before long, I expected to reach the cutting and the railway line. We would have to cross a double track main line as well. Luckily, there was one of those old Victorian pedestrian crossings, with steps either side of the line, and you could see a fair way in either direction too. However, before we even got to the railway line, Applejack hurriedly stopped me.

“Hey, Bones, look there,” she whispered quietly, gesturing to some open ground to our right. Squinting carefully and following AJ’s outstretched hoof I could see something moving amongst the trees.

It was about our size, though obviously a native of Earth. As we looked on it was joined by several companions. They were all a sort of light brown in colour and seemed to be grazing. I had a rough idea of what they were when another, larger specimen joined them. Like the others he was about our size, though noticeably bigger than the rest, and had antlers.

“They’re deer, AJ,” I replied, keeping my voice low. “Let’s try and get ‘round ‘em. Ah don’t want to spook any of the does, and Ah certainly don’t want to tick off that stag.” Keeping low, the two of us steadily moved away from the small herd, which continued to peacefully graze, either unaware or not concerned by our presence. It was nice not to have wildlife immediately flee at the first sign of you.

Having left the deer to themselves, we continued along the trail, until eventually the path seemed to drop away altogether. This was the cutting that bordered the railway line. A few miles further up, it was on a rise, but here, the line was nestled away. Whilst it was routine enough to cross a line at a crossing point like this, it could still be dicey. After all, it was not too far up the line that Captain Charlock and his entire patrol were killed in action during a pursuit against escaping prisoners. So, for the sake of safety, I made it so that there were no trains on the line for the moment. With that done, I turned back to my marefriend.

“Alright, ‘Jack. The line oughta be clear now. Just follow me down these steps, cross the line and head up the ones on the other side, okay?” Applejack nodded. “And watch your step too; these stairs ain’t built for ponies.” And so, the two of us began to work our way down, side by side. Of course, it wasn’t easy; the steps were designed for bipeds after all. Just before we reached halfway, AJ lost her footing.

Her rear hooves missed the step and she quickly overbalanced, shrieking in surprise. The stone stairs were pretty damn solid and the bottom was the ballast and the railway line. Luckily though, having a unicorn with her, I was able to hold her steady in my magic, and perhaps be a little bit of a gentlecolt. Releasing her from my magic I held her steady for a moment with my hooves.

“Ya okay there, AJ?” I asked, a little worried.

“Fine, fine; just slipped a bit. Thanks, Bones,” she replied, trying to brush it off. However, we were both standing still, with her in my forelegs, which I guess is the equivalent of arms. So, we did have a little awkward, romantic moment.

Anyway, we made it down to the bottom and crossed the line without further incident. And after climbing up the stairs on the other side, which we both took greater care on, we found ourselves back in the woodland.

The path here was pretty much the same as it had been the other side of the railway line. Here and there tree roots littered the ground and the track was small and winding. At length though, this path steadily grew wider and the trees began to part, giving way to open fields. The whole area was farmland for the most part, criss crossed by a number of bridleways that were much easier to walk on. But before that, there was the matter of Efrafa.

Now, I will admit, that on more than one occasion when young Apple Bloom was acting up, I employed the old spectre of the General to keep her in line. I’d also told her a few stories of El-ahrairah. And on occasion, I had taught a few ponies, Big Mac included how to play Bob-stones. Other than that though, I had not mentioned much about this part of the world, though it definitely fascinated me and was one of my keenest interests, right up there with MLP. Whilst I had an interest, I expected Applejack to just enjoy the scenery though. The place was beautiful in the sunshine like this and it would only become more spectacular.

At length, the two of us settled by what was the site of the Crixa to rest up a little. The walk was not tiring by any means, but it was still nice to rest up every now and again. Applejack asked me a little about the story of Watership Down, and consequently that of Efrafa, which in turn lead to me running my mouth a bit, a habit I really must work on. Anyway, I told her a bit about the story and where we were. Luckily though, I was cut off by the startled cry of a pheasant.

The two of us looked up in surprise, pheasants are notoriously loud birds. It landed not too far from us, having pretty much fallen from the sky (pheasants are not particularly talented flyers). Nevertheless, it was a pretty creature and it stopped for a few moments to stare at the two of us, before it dashed off into the undergrowth.

Having each had a quick bite to eat and a drink, the two of us set off again, still contentedly chatting as we made our way further north towards the downs. This was really what I wanted, to just be able to chat with Applejack and have some fun. The two of us were both enjoying ourselves and I didn’t have to put up with any ‘advice’ from various parties. Yes we were closer than friends, but I didn’t feel like I was being pressured to do anything. As I’ve said before countless times, neither of us is overly romantic, though of course, I shan’t deny that we both love each other. This was just a fun day out. And I think that is what we both really needed.

After another hour or so of going at a fairly steady pace, though faster than most humans at walking pace, we were able to see Caesar’s Belt; a long straight line of trees that followed an old track. This was something of a helpful landmark, as it was pretty much halfway between the down and Efrafa. It also traditionally marked the limit of most Wide Patrols.

As the two of us continued to work our way along, my thoughts turned to the concept of patrolling. It was not something the Royal Guard practiced. They were a defensive force set to guard the princesses, not a reconnaissance team. On the other hand, their occasional failings and limitations have often come from lack of experience. Even with veterans of the Incursion teaching the new recruits they are still quite green compared to any human fighting force, never mind the fact that often the threats they face are not conventional.

I remembered that Captain Campion, one of the more respectable Owsla officers and a veteran of the Battle of Nutley Copse, commented that Wide Patrols made clever trackers, swift runners and fierce fighters. Well, that was what Equestria needed wasn’t it? Perhaps when the two of us woke up I could write to Strong Shield and suggest the idea to him.

After passing the line of trees that was Caesar’s Belt, we started to come onto the down itself. Whilst the far end of the down was quite a steep drop, at this end, you didn’t really notice much, apart from the steadily opening skyline. Aside from a small copse like collection of trees around a large beech tree, the entire down was open and clear. You would easily know if anything was coming your way long before they got close.

Of course, this version of the downs was slightly modified to reverse the march of time. In reality, the last time I had visited, the beech had been largely destroyed by severe storms and large sections were fenced off as private land. Here on the other hand though, the whole place was still open. And it was an amazing sight to behold.

As the two of came to the edge of the down, Applejack audibly gasped in surprise. From our position, you could see for miles the relative plateau below us, including farms, houses roads, even a large electricity pylon chain.

Having reached our destination, the two of us settled down to watch the sunset; it had been steadily getting further into the evening ever since we passed the belt.

“It sure is beautiful up here, Bones,” Applejack said at length as we relaxed on the soft grass in the shadow of the beech tree.

“It kinda reminds me of that spot back home on the farm. Ya know, that little clearing by the lake?” AJ nodded her head.

“As Ah recall, weren’t that where ya first admitted ya liked me?” she prodded, lidding her eyes.

“C’mon, Ah did have the Princess of Love herself tellin’ me it was so, ‘Jack. No way was Ah gonna argue with that.” Applejack scooted over, closer to me, leaning into me a little.

“Ah’ve really enjoyed all this ya know,” she said quietly as she pressed her head against my side. “But there’s one thing Ah’d like to do before we go.” I looked over to her.

“Oh? What’s that then?” I enquired. Instead of responding, Applejack gestured over to the well maintained, fenced off gallops that ran the length of the down, and were used for training show jumpers. I quickly realised what she was getting at; she wanted to go for a run.

“Really?” I asked. “Ya know Ah can’t keep up with ya like RD, right?” Applejack grinned.

“Oh don’t worry ‘bout that, Bones. Ah’ll slow down so ya can catch up,” she shamelessly stuck her tongue out at me. The two of us got up as one.

“Ah hate to take money from a lady, miss,” I countered. And with that, the two of us set off at a gallop onto the trimmed green grass.

The two of us tore round the gallops as fast we could muster; I began to touch speeds I hadn’t gone at since the Running of the Leaves last autumn. Naturally, AJ was just a tiny bit faster than me, but not by much. I may be a lot fitter than I was as a human, but that doesn’t mean jack to an earth pony. We ran all the way from where we had been resting all the way along the down to the main road at the other end, all the way egging each other on. Eventually though, we both made it back to the beech tree where we had started, and lay down, fully out of breath.

“Okay,” I said, my sides still heaving from the run. “Ah admit it, y’all are faster than Ah am.” Equally winded, but also smug by her victory, Applejack settled herself down beside me.

“Eeyup, and don’t ya forget it,” she said jokingly, batting my head with a hoof. This in turn led me to retaliating and a sort of play fight happened, with the two of us rolling around on the soft grass. Of course it didn’t last, we were still both exhausted from galloping, but it did end with the two of us kissing. And that is all you shall ever know of it.

With that, the world around us began to fade and we found ourselves in a void. Just as steadily Applejack began to vanish into the gloom as well, presumably a sign of Luna severing our shared dream. And with that, I awoke to find myself back on Sweet Apple Acres. Back home.

Chapter 69 - Market

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As my eyes fluttered open, I was partially dazzled by the light of the rising sun. It was clearly still quite early then. As I came to, I rubbed my eyes with a hoof and blinked a few times to clear out the sleep. Lifting my head from my hooves, I looked around. It was indeed early morning; the sun was just beginning to clear the horizon, moonset couldn’t have been more than a half hour ago. Sweet Apple Acres was bathed in the reddish golden hue of the sunrise and long shadows were cast through the orchards. A typical morning really.

Next to me, was Applejack, who continued to snooze for a few moments longer. Eventually though, like me, she awoke. For a moment she looked more than a little confused, after all, it is a little disorientating to wake up in a strange place that is not your bed. As soon as she looked over and spotted me though, this unease quickly vanished as she remembered why we were both out here. Taking a moment to let off a mighty yawn, Applejack got to her hooves.

“Whew, mornin’ Bones,” she said as she stretched herself. I turned to look at her.

“Mornin’, AJ,” I replied, still sounding a little tired. Her yawn caused me to reciprocate as well, cutting off any further speech. “Uh, what time is it do ya reckon?” Looking toward the rising sun, Applejack thought for a moment.

“Ah’d say it’s getting’ on for about seven, maybe eight,” she replied. I redoubled my efforts to get up and get going. Eight o’clock in the morning was the start of the working day for the Apples’. And today of course, I had to watch the stand in the market again and look after Apple Bloom when she got out of school. And so, the two of us started to walk back towards the farmhouse.

As we walked, I thought about what had happened over the last two days, or rather, the previous night. Having a shared dream like that can be a little disorientating. To me, it felt like we’d spend a whole weekend away from the farm, but in reality, it had just been a single night. It seemed AJ had been thrown by the time differential too, as evident when she greeted her big brother, who was coming up the path to meet us.

“Big Macintosh!” AJ proclaimed, promptly wrapping her brother in a hug, as much as she could given Big Mac’s stature. “Ah missed ya big brother.” Not surprisingly, Big Mac looked a tad confused.

“Erm, AJ, not to burst your bubble or nothin’, but we’ve only been gone a night. Time moves faster in a dream, remember?” Applejack started and blushed a little in embarrassment. From Big Mac’s perspective, it would be a little odd. His sister had spent the night sleeping outside with me, and yet here she was, hugging him as if she hadn’t seen him in days.

“You two had a nice time than Ah take it?” Big Mac asked. I smiled and nodded in agreement. Somehow I doubted that he wanted to know every little detail of what his little sister and her coltfriend had gotten up to.

“How long did we sleep in for, Mac?” I asked him, figuring I would need to get in a quick breakfast and then get to work.

“Don’t ya worry ‘bout that,” he said reassuringly. “Ya got plenty of time before market opens, Bones. C’mon, let’s get y’all some grits in ya.”

It turned out that it was only just reaching eight o’clock when we all returned to the farmhouse. I think Applejack’s mind was still a little confused by the reactions she got from her remaining family members. Nothing more than a usual ‘Mornin’, Applejack’. I guess the feeling was comparable to jet lag, her mind was telling her two days had passed, yet everything else told her it was just a night. Luckily though, Apple Bloom needed to be taken to school, and I expected that would take her mind off it.

“Okay, AB, have fun at school,” I said, again dipping into paternal territory. “Now don’t forget, ya come straight to me at the market after school, okay?” Apple Bloom nodded as she and her sister headed out the door. I too was quickly polishing off my breakfast along with a cup of coffee to really wake me up. I think Luna may have done a number on my head when she put us out, even after a half hour, I still was quite groggy, and that wouldn’t do for paying customers.

“Well, Ah best be headin’ out too, Ah s’pose. Everything still set up and ready to go, Big Mac?” I asked. Big Mac nodded and offered to help me hitch up to the harness. “Ah’ll see ya later, Granny,” I called to Granny Smith who had been good enough to get a decent breakfast in me quickly.

Big Mac and I headed round to the other side of the farmhouse, the barn half to be more precise. I can sort of see why the house was designed this way; you can keep all the important stuff such as carts and wagons, as well as wood and other fuel and foodstuffs close at hand. It also of course, could be used as a great meeting place, and Pinkie often threw her parties in there if the Apples’ were involved. In this case though, we merely went in there to fetch out the wagon that held the various bits of the market stall.

The whole thing sort of popped out when you set it up. It wasn’t overly large, but it held enough to make decent money each day. About the length of a pony, it had two medium sized wheels in the rear, and stands at the front to keep it propped up even when you unhitched yourself. The small covering that kept the produce inside dry extended upward to act as an awning. And on top of this we normally affixed a fairly large apple sign, with a lucky horseshoe motif in the centre. After all, Ponyville market was a competitive place, and our product had to stand out.

This was all set up and ready to go thanks to Big Mac, all I had to do was fetch a few bushels of apples and stick them on the cart, nicely presented. All that remained then was the small metal box that we used to hold the day’s take; there was always a ten bit float in there to provide customers with change.

With everything secured and ready, Big Mac helped me connect my small harness (small compared to the harness he normally used) and I hooked myself up to the wagon. After a couple quick movements to check everything was in order and wasn’t straining or twisted, I began to steadily pull the cart off. I’d head down to Ponyville, set myself up and see how much I could make with the lunchtime rush.

And so, I steadily hauled the wagon out of the farmyard and onto the path towards Ponyville. It was certainly a fair bit heavier than what I typically had to haul during the harvests, but it wasn’t anything that I couldn’t cope with. And to be fair, I probably hauled the lesser weight of the apple carts much further than this one slightly heavier load. So, I put my slight discomfort aside and kept hauling.

The path on which I was travelling lead all the way to the edge of the farm, the house itself is actually a fair way inside the boundary. So, naturally, anypony who needed to get to the house used this road. It was therefore no surprise to me that I saw Derpy flying along the path in the opposite direction.

She had her usual mailmare bag flung over her shoulder and was keeping herself aloft, albeit a little unsteadily, with a few flaps of her wings. As soon as she spotted me with my apple cart, she began waving excitably. Derpy is sort of like Pinkie in that way, though not to the same extreme. Derpy is friendly to ponies she sees, whilst Pinkie of course, knows, and I mean just knows, when somepony new rolls into town and throws them her typical and literal welcome wagon. Whilst she means well, at times it can throw ponies, whereas Derpy just likes to say hello to everypony on her route.

“Morning, Blade Star!” she called as she landed on the road with a surprising amount of grace.

“Mornin’, Derpy,” I replied cheerfully. Seriously, it is not possible to be around Derpy and be sad for more than a few moments, another commonality she shares with the Element of Laughter. “Got anythin’ for me today?” It was rare I got much mail aside from the odd ‘prince’ from Saddle Arabia asking for my bank account details. This time though, it was different.

“Ooh actually yes; this came by the post office this morning; looks kind of important.” Derpy paused to briefly rummage around in her mailbag before hoofing me a scroll. It was similar to the kind that Celestia used, only, more pink. Three guesses who this could be from. Thanking Derpy, I took the scroll from her and opened it on the spot. It read thus:

‘Dear Blade Star,
Hopefully, this letter will find you not too long after you and Applejack get back from your date. I hope you two enjoyed yourselves and that it has brought you closer together. I expect you’re now contemplating what to do next now that you’ve had your first date. It is often a sort of low time with newly formed couples, so don’t worry if things seem to go quiet for a while. Since you two are already co-habiting, the issue of the second date shouldn’t come up for a while. But whilst it may be quiet, don’t allow yourself to distance yourself from Applejack. I will do my best to check in periodically and you can write to me any time if you need some advice.
Sincerely,
Princess Cadence of the Crystal Empire.’

Well, that soured my mood a little bit. I did appreciate Cadence’s help in getting over that first hurdle, but I wasn’t some hopeless charity case that needed handholding to do everything. She didn’t need to write a letter to tell me what I already knew. I sighed a little; there was no use in getting mad at her, and she did mean well, and most importantly, she was a good thousand or so miles away from me. And that suited me just fine. Her brand of love was all well and good, but neither Applejack nor I were overly invested in it. With any luck, as our relationship continued, she would ease off. I knew she didn’t give this help to every single new couple in Equestria.

I put the letter in the money tin for safe keeping for the time being and thanked Derpy for giving it to me rather than dropping it off at the house. Sweet Celestia, if AJ had spotted it, the teasing would have been epic in proportions. Following the old saying of ‘one good turn…’ I asked Derpy if she wanted to grab anything from my cart to keep her going through until lunch. She bought herself one of the Jonagold apples that I had towards the front. After that, I said goodbye and the two of us went our separate ways.

About ten minutes later, I found myself in Ponyville and hastened to set up my stall as the many others sprang up around me. It was getting on for ten o’clock and that meant that ponies would soon come for some morning shopping and to grab snacks to tide them over until lunch. Still, at least I didn’t have to worry about business being poached, as the only apple supplier in town, and arguably one of the best, if not the best, in Equestria. Across the way from me, mind, was one the bitterest disputes yet seen. Roseluck and Lily had been engaged in a major pricing war with each other and had been doing their upmost to undercut and discredit each other. The result of this of course, was that everypony simply went to Daisy instead; nopony wants to be around two businessmares who are moments away from scratching each other’s eyes out. Today was no different either, hopefully before long they’d come to their senses, or bankruptcy.

And so, with everything set up, all I now had to do was wait for customers. Like I said, as the only supplier, we don’t need to do over the top advertising. Most of the market was filled with calls imploring shoppers to come and take a look. Personally, I think that over eagerness drives customers away, and since neither Big Mac nor Applejack does anything like that I didn’t feel the need to either. Plus, in a few hours I’d have the ultimate weapon; Apple Bloom.

By the time midday rolled around, business in the market had picked up considerably. Being a weekday though, and a Monday at that, I suppose it is natural though. Ponies on their lunch break want a quick snack, or want to cook up something for dinner. You’d be surprised just how many dishes use apples. And so, I was kept more than busy with a steady stream of customers. Back on Earth, I had used to work in a small village shop. We did everything from groceries, to petrol, even a cyber café. But that place used to have short sharp sessions with a dozen customers and then nothing for hours. With the apple stand, you didn’t end up with ponies queuing like cider or zap apple season, but you normally had only a minute or two between customers. So, for most of the day, I was kept busy. And even when it got quiet, the antics of Roseluck and Lily could keep a pony amused for hours.

After the lunchtime rush, during which I probably made the better part of sixty bits in sales, there was something of a slowdown in the market. Ponies go back to work and such so things do tend to go quiet for a while. The next rush would be around three o’clock when the school let out. Hopefully Apple Bloom would be on hoof before everything hit the fan. While it was nothing I couldn’t handle, it was nice to have an extra set of hooves to help with sales. I was just contentedly sorting out the small change in the tin, when a shadow loomed over me.

“Hello, Blade Star,” Discord said gleefully. “And how is business for you this fine day?” Ever since the zap apple tree shocked him, Discord has been acting like less of a troll towards me. Either the shock knocked some sense into him or he’s simply being more pragmatic since he knows he can’t push my buttons. I’m guessing the latter.

“Business is doin’ just fine, Discord,” I replied contentedly. “Ya here to pick up that bushel of Bramley apples Fluttershy ordered?” My little sister’s housemate had placed a fairly large order on Friday and we’d set aside a few for her over the weekend.

“Yes, yes, you know me, dear boy. Always happy to help out a friend.” I honestly sometimes have no clue if he is being sarcastic or sincere. I began to root around behind the cart for them. Much to my surprise though, the bushel had vanished. Lifting my head back up to tell Discord, I saw the apples, neatly bagged resting in his lion paw.

“Looking for something?” he asked nonchalantly. I merely rolled my eyes at his antics.

“Very funny, Discord. That’ll be three bits if ya please,” I held out my empty hoof. The draconequus deposited three gold pieces in my hoof and began to walk away. It was only by chance that I inspected the coins more closely, and it was a good job I did. Rather than the typical design, which had the sun on one side and the moon on the other, this one had Discord on it. And with each turn of the coin, a new face appeared on each side.

“Hey, Discord!” I called after him. “When Ah said three bits, Ah meant real ones.” The draconequus turned, his ears perking up in surprise. He inquisitively took one of the coins from me and inspected it.

“Oh, I am sorry, Blade Star. I’d even forgotten I had these with me still,” he said, before promptly snapping his talons and replacing them with legal tender. “I always do like to keep some of the old currency on me, just in case.

“What do ya mean ‘old currency’?” I asked.

“Oh, these old things were around when I was still running the show around these parts,” he replied. “Just because I am a creature of chaos doesn’t mean I can ignore the economy.” He then snapped his talons which summoned that famous poster that read ‘It’s the economy, stupid’. “Oh and by the way, how did your little dream date go last night?” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“It was fine, and it’s really none of your business, Discord,” I replied.

Seeing perhaps that he wasn’t going to get much fun out of me, Discord snapped his talons and disappeared in a flash of light. Just as he did so, the school bell began to ring, signalling the end of the day. A few minutes later, Apple Bloom turned up at the stand to help me out.

The youngest of the Apple family, as ever, was eager to help out. However, as I have said, her sales tactics are a little, well, shall we say aggressive? From watching her I determined the following. If you come within ten feet of the stand, you are buying apples, no ifs or buts. If you already have apples, she will hound you, insisting that you should buy more ‘just in case’. If you already have apples in sufficient quantity, she will begin listing all the recipes she can think of to get rid of them so you can buy more. In short, the filly is the ultimate product of capitalism.

Of course, there were some side effects to these sales tactics. To begin with, we sold a great many apples rapidly. But after about an hour or so, potential customers began to noticeably go out of their way to avoid the ten foot radius circle that marked Apple Bloom’s ‘kill zone’. Whilst it was sort of cute and quite funny, I had to rein her in for the sake of maintaining a market.

“Alright, AB, Ah think you’ve done enough for today. Two hundred bits in two hours ain’t bad Ah must say.” The small tin that held the days take was now full to bursting with loot. Apple Bloom trotted back over to the stand and settled down next to me. She was still quite excitable and eager though.

“Hey, Blade Star, do ya ever think Applejack might let me run the stand on my own one of these days?” she asked hopefully. Whilst she brought in good short term profit, if left to her own devices, Apple Bloom would undoubtedly drive all customers away within a week. She’s just so eager, certainly following the old ABC of always be closing. Hay, at times she could be quite scary.

“Maybe when you’re a bit older, AB,” I replied diplomatically. “Besides, ya have to run the stand all day, and ya have to go school as Ah recall.”

“But look how much Ah managed to make.” She gestured to the bulging tin of bits. “Ah’ve only been here two hours and Ah made three times as much as what you made the entire day.” Thinking quickly, I countered with a long time excuse of my father’s.

“It ain’t just about sellin’ apples here, AB. There’s a whole lot of work to do along with it. Me and Big Macintosh had to set everythin’ up last week, then this mornin’, Ah had to load it and pull it all here, and when we’re finished Ah’ll have to haul it all back and pack it away too.” I paused for a moment, my voice taking on a tone of fatherly patience. “Now Ah know you’re eager to help an’ all, but Ah don’t think ya could do that on your own. And think how much time you’d miss hangin’ out with your friends.” That seemed to tip the scales in my favour.

“Yeah, Ah s’pose,” she said, sounding a little dejected and kicking at the ground. I leaned down and briefly nuzzled her.

“Hey now, don’t get so glum. Ya just be patient. It’s like your cutie mark; good things come to those who wait.”

It was at that moment that Time Turner came ambling up the market towards us. Instantly, Apple Bloom bounded towards him.

“Hey, Mister Time Turner! Do ya want to buy some apples?” The old Timelord’s eyes went wide in absolute terror.

“Oh no, not you again!” he exclaimed as he attempted to backpedal out of the situation. It was quite comical really. Here was a being who had stared down vast armies of monsters intent on conquering the universe, and he was terrified of a three foot tall filly. Still, I was not about to pass up an opportunity to ‘rescue’ the Doctor.

“Oh, c’mon, our prices are really affordable for anypony, and just think how much you make with ‘em,” Apple Bloom continued bouncing up to reach his eye level. The poor fellow was now standing stock still and imagining he was anywhere else.

“Alright, AB,” I called. “Ah think ya made your point. How ‘bout ya ease off a bit and let him get near the stand, huh?” And with that, the filly ceased her verbal assault. Time Turner took a sharp intake of breath and trotted over to me.

“Thanks for that,” he said quietly to me.

“Anytime, doc,” I replied. I then raised my voice to a more audible volume. “Now, what brings ya out this way?” In response, he turned and showed me what had been partially hiding behind him.

“Derpy asked me to keep an eye on Dinky; she’s still got a few more stops to make on her mail route. The little tyke’s been helping me out in the shop, so I thought I might take her to get a bite to eat,” he explained. I turned my attention to the small unicorn filly.

“Hello there, Dinky,” I said kindly.

“Hey, Dinks,” Apple Bloom added. Dinky smiled and waved back at the two of us. The presence of a classmate luckily diverted Apple Bloom’s attention for the time being as she and Dinky chatted to each other. The two seemed to be discussing something scientific related to cutie marks, but the expressions Dinky was using went clear over my head and Apple Bloom’s too. While they busied themselves, I picked out a couple apples for Time Turner.

“Oh, Time Turner, by the way, is it alright if Ah bring in that old clock from the farmhouse in a day or so; the darn thing keeps losin’ time.” The Timelord handed me a couple of bits.

“Sure, I could do with something new to tinker with this week. Bring it by on Thursday and I’ll see what I can do. I might even rope in Dinky if her mother’s busy. She’s an intelligent little thing that filly.” I let the ghost of a smile appear on my face and bid him farewell.

With the departure of the two Timelords, we had pretty much reached closing time. So, with Apple Bloom’s help, I began to pack everything away and lock up the stand, turning it into a cart once again. Hitching myself up to the harness, I turned to Apple Bloom.

“Alright, AB, let’s get you home.” And I began to heave away at the now somewhat lighter load.

When the two of us got back to the farmhouse, Applejack was waiting for us. After covertly checking whether or not Apple Bloom had been too much of a bother for me, she relieved us of the money tin, locking it safely away in the large metal safe that lived in Granny Smith’s bedroom. I told her that I’d arranged to take the clock in the hallway to Time Turner to see if he could fix it up as well, which she seemed pleased with.

After dinner, I treated myself to a spot of stargazing as I often tend to do. This night though, I was joined by both Applejack and Apple Bloom. AJ does it I think simply because she likes being with me, and it is quite beautiful and sort of romantic at times. Apple Bloom on the other hand, seems to have rekindled her interest in astronomy. Whilst the Cutie Mark Crusaders had long abandoned the idea as possible cutie marks, she seemed eager to learn a little bit from me. Hay, sometimes it was like having a pup follow me around.

My thoughts turned to my odd paternal quirks of late. Perhaps she was, imprinting I suppose the right word is, on me. Since the poor filly grew up without a real father to speak of, she would naturally gravitate toward a father figure. I think I’ll take that as a compliment.

Interlude 13 - Trooping the Colour

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For once, today I was not at my usual post. I wasn’t even in the throne room today. Instead, Celestia, Luna, their advisors (including myself and Shining Armor), as well as a few other Royal Guard top brass, were assembled on the balcony, which overlooked the main courtyard of the castle. Quite a view, I can tell you that.

Today you see, was quite a special occasion, Celestia’s birthday (though I dare not ask how old she is, but she must be getting on for fifteen hundred at this point). To mark the occasion, tradition dictated that the Royal Guard, at least the daytime watch, put on a parade and present their regimental colours. While it was held under a different name, today was effectively the trooping of the colour.

Of course, with the relatively recent return of Princess Luna, the day had undergone some alterations, mainly to include Luna and her own guards in the parade. The affair was steadily being changed from a celebration of Celestia, to a celebration of the diarchy, though of course, behind closed doors the elder diarch still had her own birthday bash.

The entire affair was strictly ceremonial, something the Royal Guard specialises in. After all, in their entire history, they have only had to engage in seven major battles; a testament to both the skill of the princesses in diplomacy, and the guard as a deterrent force. After all, the best weapon is one you need never fire. My son on the other hand, cites the Elements of Harmony, arguing that the best weapon is one you only need to fire once. It was a shame he couldn’t be in the crowd below that had turned out. He really looks up to these guys, particularly Strong Shield.

As we were all settled, we waited for the celebration to start. This would be quite a long celebration, with several sections of the Royal Guard taking part. Luckily though, we had all been provided, as dictated by our station, with rather comfy chairs. I myself sat next to Shining Armor. The Captain of the Royal Guard was turned out in full regimental dress; a bright red jacket, with a blue sash, which held his many decorations. Each advisor seemed to be paired with a guard. On the other side of me sat Princess Luna, and beyond her was Celestia herself, each in their ornate thrones.

“How long have they been training for this then, Shining?” I asked as we waited.

“Pretty much all year. They know that there can't be any slip ups. Everything has to go perfectly, particularly with me and both the princesses watching. Every single guard down there takes pride in the fact that he has trained for this and his ability to do everything asked of him.”

“Patriots all then, eh?”

“I suppose you can say that. Though these days, you have to be careful. Nopony wants to bring up old conflicts between the two guards. But I can tell you that every single one of those stallions down there has seen action. A lot of them served at my wedding.” I then noticed that Shining was sweating slightly.

“You a bit nervous too, captain?” I asked. It was understandable, after all he was their boss, and everything was, as he is so fond of saying:

“It’s my responsibility to ensure everypony is up to speed and the best that they can be and are able to perform their duties properly. Any slip up will be on my head.” At this point, Princess Luna entered the conversation.

“Be at ease, Captain Armor. Your guards are well trained and true. Do not allow your doubts to unsettle you.” And with that, the parade began.

Prior to everything getting underway, the small Colour Bearer Party had positioned themselves on the right hand side of the parade ground. To their right, and directly opposite our position on the balcony, assembled in columns were the three regiments of the Solar Guard, the two regiments of the Lunar Guard, and finally, the small contingent of griffons which were permanently seconded to Equestria. I’m not quite sure how that last one works; I’ve never seen a griffon on duty in the palace, aside from Major Hartwin. Finally, to our right was the Band of the Royal Guard, a brass and drum affair.

The first order of business was the inspection of all the guard regiments. One at a time, the regiments would be presented for Celestia to inspect them.

“Guards!” called Strong Shield, the overall commander, in a loud, bellowing voice. “Slope arms!” This was quickly followed by “Shoulder arms!” As one, more than three hundred guards shouldered the large spears with which they were ceremonially armed. Celestia would now conduct an inspection of the line.

The band began to play a number of pieces as Celestia sailed down on her large, swan like wings, with four attendant pegasi in tow. She settled herself at the further right of the line, where the regiment that would eventually be presenting its colours was located. With the four pegasi guards keeping a little way behind her, she walked in a stately manner along the line of the six assembled regiments, casting a careful eye over them. Not a single spear moved for the entire event. At length, she completed her inspection, and after receiving a salute from the officers, who carried swords rather than spears and wore more ornate armor, she returned to us on the balcony.

“Guards! Take arms!” Strong Shield bellowed. Again, there was a flurry of movement as the guards adjusted themselves.

Now came the next part of the parade. The massed band would be trooped past Celestia and a single drummer would move to join the No.1 Guards. The leader of the band barked out commands.

“Massed band! By the centre, slow march!” And with that, the band began to march, crossing in front of Celestia as the guard regiments later would, headed towards the colour bearers. Upon reaching them, they turned around one by one, essentially meaning they were heading almost into each other given the size of some of the brass instruments. Eventually, they returned to their original position. The whole procedure was then repeated, this time at a quick march. This time however, a lone drummer broke away from the group and proceeded to stand next to the first guard regiment. Now there’s a job that takes guts; everypony’s eyes were on that single guard. When the band returned for the second time, they came to a halt.

As soon as the band stopped playing, the lone drummer began to play. Again, I did not envy his position. He tapped out the call for officers to take post. At the same time the regimental sergeant major was relieved of his ceremonial staff. This allowed him to draw his sword, which meant the regiment could protect the colour. Strong Shield barked orders.

“Escort for the colour! Slope arms!” A moment later this was followed. “Remainder, take arms!” Then finally. “Stand at ease!” His job was now done, and the next phase was in the hands of the young officer in charge of No.1 Guards. In a moment, they would ‘step off’ as they call it and proceed to take possession of the colour and present it to Celestia.

“Escort for the colour! In close order, close ranks!” The No.1 Guards now moved their rows closer together than their counterparts. When this was completed, he continued. “Escort for the colour! By the left, quick march!” And with that, the regimental band began to play a very familiar tune. I turned to Shining Armor as they began to march.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5FiSJP1ggA

“Hey, Shining, I recognise this tune! My country’s military used to use this as a march,” I exclaimed. Shining looked quite surprised by this.

“Really? I guess Ride of the Valkyries wasn’t just a fluke then,” he replied. “Hey, watch now, the band’s about to do its spin wheel,” he gestured to the band, which was performing a rather unusual movement; it certainly looked like it required a hell of a lot of coordination. “You know, even though these parades have been held every year for centuries, nopony has ever documented how you perform the spin wheel manoeuvre; the band leaders just teach it to their successor.” I and several other advisors looked on in awe. Both princesses meanwhile, had a look of pride on their features. For the regiment in question, this was undoubtedly their proudest moment.

The guards marched to where the band had previously stood before executing their own turn to the left. This meant they were now facing the colour party, with the band between them and the other regiments. As soon as they had completed their turn they began to advance on the colour to retrieve it. A few yards before that could be accomplished, a halt was called. The regiment was then ordered into open order, whilst the band was ordered to retire and performed a quick about face. Strong Shield now barked out orders.

“Guards! Take arms!” Again, this was followed by “Slope arms!” Now, came another difficult moment. The sergeant major and the leader of No.1 Guards now stepped out to join the colour, with their swords drawn to protect it. This would be the hand over.

The regimental sergeant major saluted the colour and then briefly took possession of it. From what Shining told me, the colour is a heavy thing to carry, particularly in full dress uniform. The sergeant major then returned to the waiting guard and the procedure was repeated; the colour was now under the protection of No. 1 Guards. I heard Shining and a number of other officers breathe a sigh of relief. The leader began to give orders again, slightly altered due to the change in circumstances.

“Escort to the colour! Present arms!” All the officers on the balcony, along with us advisors now stood to hear the national anthem play. “Escort to the colour! Slope arms!” The new colour bearer now returned to the regiment as a whole, ready to parade. “Escort to the colour! Take arms!”

“Now we get to the real show,” Shining told me. “They’ll parade the colours in front of the other regiments and then everypony will march past Celestia.

With the band playing a slow march, the regiment returned to its original position, passing each regiment, starting with No.6, the small griffon contingent and ending with No.2 Guards.

As the regiment continued its parade before its comrades, I began to chat a little with Shining as well as a few others. I didn’t really know much about the Royal Guard, except that Shining was their CO, Strong Shield was in charge of training and that there were always four guards with a princess at any one time. So, I ended up getting a little bit of a lecture from Shining, with other ponies chipping in here and there.

“So how many regiments are there than overall?” I asked.

“There are seven in total if you count the griffon volunteers” Shining replied. “One of the day guard is on watch now during the parade, but everypony else is here.” At this point, my mind pointed out a little discrepancy.

“Hang on, then. If there are six regular regiments, and one of the day guard ones is on watch, why are there three day guard regiments?”

“Because one of them is a bunch of no good traitors,” a thestral captain piped up. “No.2 Guard ‘The Traitors’.” He gestured to what appeared to be a typical regiment of the day guard.

“Simmer down, Night Song!” Shining commanded sharply. Before the bristling thestral could reply, Princess Luna stepped in.

“Mr. Owen, the second regiment of the Royal Guard was previously a Lunar Guard regiment that served me. During the war against my sister, they recognised my foolhardiness and turned against me in an effort to bring me to my senses. In spite of their good intentions, the regiment, even today, is regarded with suspicion by some.” She cast a withering glance at Night Song, who mumbled an apology.

“What about the other regiments then? Any interesting stories there?” I asked, now quite interested.

“Well, No.1 Guards are quite famous today. They were the ones that managed to hold out against the Changelings a few years ago. And No.3 Guards was actually the first regiment raised entirely of earth ponies. Back in the day before inter-tribe regiments, earth ponies were often used as levies more than anything else. But we eventually realised how good they are in a fight at close quarters. I remember Strong Shield told me about one of his that managed to crack a changeling carapace when he smashed into it.”

“You’re not going to omit the Lunar regiments are you?” Night Song said, breaking in on the conversation.

“I was getting to them, but by all means, Night Song,” Shining countered coolly.

“Our regiments still practice segregation, simply due to the way we operate, despite what some say; one thestral regiment and one unicorn regiment. No pegasus can keep up with a thestral in the pitch dark, nor can they be as quiet. No.5 Guard is a little different of course, but we have to be more specialised for night time operations, so we’re a lot more selective. And we don’t use brute force, so we tend to use earth ponies as trackers more than anything. I tell you, a Lunar regiment will put any bunch of Bright Lights down in a heartbeat…”

“Captain Night Song,” said Princess Luna, her tone a little threatening. “If you wish, I shall fetch Starswirl’s time travelling spell from the archives and send you back to the time of the rebellion so that you may corroborate that claim.” That shut him up right and proper. Shining then continued.

“Yes, the two regiments under Princess Luna specialise in more stealthy means of operating. Most of their fame does go back to the Lunar Rebellion. No. 4 Guards ‘The Moon Shadows’ were famous for their ability to sneak up on, attack and defeat larger forces, whilst No.5 Guards ‘The Still Knights’ were known to be able to sit and blend into their environment to ambush their enemies.”

“And what about that smaller regiment of griffons?” I asked. “I can’t say I’ve ever seen any on duty in Canterlot.” This time it was the turn of Major Hartwin, the exchange officer from the Griffon Kingdom.

“That’s because they don’t usually serve here,” he answered. “Celestia’s Griffons are exiles. Back when the king was overthrown by one of the larger militias, about six hundred years ago, a small number of griffons refused to accept the new order. Since failure to follow the new emperor was a death sentence, they fled to Equestria. And when the Third Griffon War broke out, many volunteered their services, so Princess Celestia organised them into a mercenary regiment and charged them with defending the border. After the king was restored, he permanently seconded them to Equestria. In the end, they built their own community on the border and still guard it today.”

As the Major completed his explanation, No.1 Guards completed their manoeuvre. They would now troop the colour past Celestia, with the other regiments also doing a march past.

The usual orders for the escort to present, take and slope arms were given. Next, Strong Shield began again.

“Officers! Take post! Quick march!” he called. The more ornate looking guards promptly returned to their regiments. At the same time, the colour moved to the rear, which would be its traditional position prior to engagement.

“Numbers one to five guards! At the halt, right form! Quick march!”

The band now began to play and the guard regiments began to form up so that they were in a neat orderly line, with No.1 Guard at the front and No.6, which had been at right angles to the rest, at the rear.

“Numbers one to five guards, will advance!” This was shortly followed by.” Number six guards, close order! Move to the left, in threes, form threes! Quick march!” The various regiments were now lined up in position and ready to perform the march past.

“Guards will march past, in slow and quick time!” Strong Shield bellowed. I’ve no idea how he managed to keep blowing his lungs out for so long; maybe it’s something they just teach you in the forces. “By the left, slow march!”

Now we were on, this was the presentation of the colours and the march past. It began with a neutral march, and the band would change the music it played periodically as each regiment marched past Celestia on the balcony. One noticeable difference I found, much to my surprise, was that all the regimental pieces had words, and the guards were expected to sing as well. As No.1 Guards approached us, the colour moved to the front to salute Celestia; a move that required to colour to be dipped. But on no account can it touch the floor.

With Strong Shield leading, closely followed by the colour, which was in turn followed and protected by No.1 Guards, the parade approached us. The music promptly changed and the guards began to sing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDrgnetYFWw

Hark! I hear the foe advancing,
Twisted monsters proudly prancing.
Flimsy wings in sunbeams glancing,
Flitter through the trees.

Guards of Cant’lot lie ye dreaming?
See ye not their cruel fangs gleaming?
See their warrior pennons streaming,
To this battlefield.

From the towers rebounding,
Let the war cry sounding.
Summon all at Celestia’s call,
Drive back the evil horde!

Guards of Cant’lot on to glory,
See your banner famed in story.
Wave these blazing words before ye;
Equestria scorns to yield!

Mid the fray see dead and dying,
Pony and changeling together lying.
All around the magic flying,
Scatters sudden death.

Frightened mares are wildly neighing,
Brazen trumpets hoarsely braying.
Wounded beasts for mercy praying,
With their parting breath.

See they’re in disorder!
Comrades keep close order!
Ever they shall rue the day,
They ventured o’er the border!

Now the demon flies before us,
Victory’s banner floateth o’er us.
Raise the loud exulting chorus,
Equestria never yields!

As the procession passed, Strong Shield raised his sword to Celestia in salute, whist the colour was lowered and allowed to fully unfurl. On it were the many battle honours the guard regiment had won over the years. I could make out First and Second Colt’s Run, Battle of the Borders, Appleloosa Territory, Agincolt, and of course Battle of Canterlot, their most recent honour.

Celestia of course returned the salute of the colour and the regiment. As they marched past the band promptly changed to music for No.2 Guards. I couldn’t help but smile when I recognised the tune. God knows more than a few clients I’ve defended had had this played for them. The tune was shorter than that of No.1 Guards, but was repeated for the march past. Evidently, they’d adopted their title quite well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaplEF4w9RY

Fifty I got for selling my sword,
Fifty for selling my armor.
If ever I list as a guardsman again,
Old Discord shall be my sergeant.

Poor old pony
Poor old pony.
Fifty I got for selling my sword,
Fifty for selling my armor.
If ever I list as a guardsman again,
Old Discord shall be my sergeant.

Again a salute between Celestia and her loyal guards was exchanged. The look on her face was one of pride, but not as a diarch. It was more like pride of a mother for her children. Understandable, I suppose, given how she referred to even the toughest of them as ‘her little ponies’. Now came No.3 Guards, the all earth pony regiment. The music switched to a quick march.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIhiMqz7iuE

From the halls of Canterlot Castle,
To the shores of Tricolti.
We fight Equestria’s battles on the land and on the sea.
To keep our rights and freedoms,
We shall strike true and strike hard.
We are proud to claim the title,
Of Equestria’s Royal Guard.

Now there were the two regiments of the Lunar Guard. Night Song, who now seemed to have had a filter installed, mentioned that in light of the relatively recent return of Princess Luna, the Lunar Guard only had a single shared anthem which both regiments would sing. As the darker counterparts approached Celestia, they did not salute her; after all, they are the guards of Princess Luna. However, they did present their arms as a sign of respect. The band changed again and the guards began to sing. Night Song informed us that, for political reasons, some of the more inflammatory verses had been omitted.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR5xZOcB0H0&feature=youtu.be

We are a band of brothers,
And native of the Night.
Fighting for the time of day,
That's our by honest right.
And when our Night was threatened,
The cry drew near and far.
Hurrah for our Brave Blue flag,
That bears our moon and stars.

Hurrah, hurrah,
For Luna's Night hurrah!
Hurrah for our Brave Blue flag,
That bears our moon and stars.

When Luna draws o'er wearied earth,
Her cloak of sable hue.
And bids us dream of home and friends,
The guardsman staunch and true.
Then 'neath the moon that's glowing bright,
In the place of Celestia's star.
Are we on watch with our Brave Blue flag,
That bears our moon and stars.

Hurrah, hurrah,
For Luna's Night hurrah!
Hurrah for our Brave Blue flag,
That bears our moon and stars.

Then cheer, colts, cheer,
Raise a joyous shout.
For our great guard has risen up,
And now we're marching out.
And let another rousing cheer,
For our dear princess be given.
The silver moon of our Brave Blue flag,
Shall reign the night fore'er.

Hurrah, hurrah,
For Luna's Night hurrah!
Hurrah for our Brave Blue flag,
That bears our moon and stars.

And last, but certainly not least, was the griffon regiment of No.6 Guards. Given the militaristic nature of the griffons as a people, I had expected some military anthem from them. To be honest, they struck me as quite German in nature, very Prussian. The eagles in their armor didn’t help matters, nor did their marching style. But to my surprise and perhaps Celestia’s amusement, the griffons, with a great amount of volume began to sing this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5LOZyNST1Q

It's a long way to Tippermarey,
It's a long way to go.
It's a long way to Tippermarey,
To the sweetest mare I know!
Goodbye, Ponydilly,
Farewell, Leicestcolt Square!
It's a long, long way to Tippermarey,
But my heart's right there.

Major Hartwin scowled slightly as the contingent marched past. Whilst he is here as an exchange officer, he still sees his loyalty as being with the Griffon Kingdom. As I later learned, these exiles are still not welcome in some circles of griffon society. Shining Armor turned to him.

“Come on; a simple song won’t make you the Duke of Trottingham, Major!” he said encouragingly. Hartwin snorted in annoyance

With this final group having completed its parade, the celebration was all but settled. The rest of the show was the overly ceremonial way in which the various regiments were marched off to be dismissed. When the last of the guards had left the courtyard, the national anthem was played for a final time and Celestia and her entourage, myself included, retired back to the throne room. There was naturally no court held today, we were all there, like the guards, for ceremonial purposes.

Today however, was still her birthday, and so when everything was all done and dusted, Celestia announced that it was time for her to retire with her younger sister for the actual birthday party. I have to admit, that whilst it was a stirring show of loyalty, for Celestia as a pony, it was quite, well boring. So having dismissed her advisors and her guards she went to ‘let her mane down’ with Luna. Before she headed off though, there was time to wish her birthday wishes and give presents. Aside from Luna, her closest advisors are the only ones who really celebrate her birthday and not turn it into a national event.

“Here you are Celestia. Happy birthday,” I said kindly, as I handed over my small present. It had taken me a fair while to find it, but I’d managed to dig it out. It was one of those older teapots, ones that strain tea leaves rather than tea bags. As a tea drinker herself, I thought that she would appreciate it, as well as the opportunity to make her tea herself. Using her magic, Celestia ripped the paper off. This didn’t sit well with Luna.

“You know, sister. If you employed just a little more care, that paper could be used again for something.” Celestia merely rolled her eyes at that.

“This is one of the few fun things I get to do, Luna. Let me have it.” She removed the wrapping and saw what I had got her. She smiled, and a genuine one too. “Thank you, Roger. This is lovely.”

She steadily worked her way through her gifts, including ones sent by Twilight and Princess Cadence. And after she thanked us all for coming in and working hard as always, she and Luna departed for their chambers for the evening.

As I sat on the train that evening, I couldn’t help but think how little time Celestia had to herself. I mean, on her birthday, she had had to sit through a two hour long parade and perform a dozen different diplomatic functions with thousands of ponies’ eyes on her. On the other hand though, as she often tells me when I bring it up, as princess she can’t just take the day off. I pondered, she ought to have one day to herself, where she has no royal duties to perform. A few ideas began to rattle around in my head.

Chapter 70 - Angels and Pegasi

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I was standing on my hind legs, on a stool in the hallway of the Apple family’s home. Just above me was the relatively large clock that had sat there for the better part of thirty years, ticking. Only problem was that the morning after my date with Applejack, it was found to have stopped; completely packed up, and no amount of tapping or shaking would get it going again. So, it had been decided that it ought to be taken to Time Turner’s shop to see if he could mend it.

This of course, meant removing the large, and unexpectedly heavy clock, from the wall. I had decided to not use my magic on it for the moment. After all, one slight slip up and the results would be most unfortunate, for the clock and for me. It wasn’t that I wasn’t confident in my abilities, just that this was a very old and very delicate piece of clockwork. And, hooves do possess an uncanny ability to hold things that they ought not to be able to. After all, I routinely see AJ tie her mane up with her hooves.

Anyway, I was struggling with this unwieldy old clock, both trying to steadily remove it from its mounting and keep my balance on my hind legs. Not an easy task, I can tell you.

“Come on ya apple pickin’, son of a…” I seethed as the evil clock demon continued to outwit me.

“Need a hoof there, Bones?” a voice called from behind. Instantly, I nearly lost my footing and wobbled on my precarious perch, with the clock and its’ mounting being the only thing holding me up. After I recovered myself, I turned around and looked down to see Applejack, looking as innocent as possible. I took a moment to catch my breath.

“Hayseed, AJ, ya spooked me there,” I said as I resettled the clock. Rather than pushing my luck, I climbed back down the small step ladder I had been using. “Ah can’t get the dang thing off.”

Applejack looked up at my nemesis and climbed up the step ladder. In one fluid motion, she lifted the clock off its mounting, balanced it on her back and brought it back down, setting it at my hooves. I was, needless to say, gobsmacked.

“AJ, anytime Ah try to tell somepony how dexterous magic is, remind me of this will ya?” Applejack merely grinned, tucking both her right legs to the side a little in an unsuccessful attempt to look nonchalant. I carefully lifted the clock into the small box I’d gotten to transport it, having covered it in ‘fragile’ markings. The thing was covered by rolls of bubble wrap and padded with Styrofoam. I then hoisted the whole thing onto my back to transport it better.

“Alright, Ah best be getting on into town then. Ya fancy joinin’ me, AJ? We can grab a bite to eat or somethin’ while we’re there.” Sadly, Applejack shook her head.

“Sorry, Bones,” she said, disappointment evident in her voice. “Ah gotta stick around here today. But would ya mind takin’ AB with ya?”

“This about what the Crusaders did to Time Turner’s erm, time turner?” I asked, having a good idea what was going on. Applejack nodded.

“The darn thing was mighty expensive, but he says he happy with an apology, so if ya just let her tag along, then we can put this all to bed.”

“Until their next crusading experiment,” I replied jokingly. To be fair, it’s a small minority of their attempts to find cutie marks that result in...incidents. But, they are the ones everypony remembers. I headed towards the door, turning at the bottom of the stairs.

“Apple Bloom!” I called. “Come on down here will ya, you’re comin’ with me to Ponyville.” She appeared at the top of the stairs a moment later. All three of the Crusaders were quite embarrassed over what happened; they certainly don’t set out to cause trouble after all. Knowing Time Turner, he wouldn’t be mad at them either, but still, it was a five thousand bit, ornate, eight foot tall time measuring device. With her at my side, I called to Granny Smith, who was working in the kitchen.

“Granny, me and AB are headin on out to get that clock of yours looked at!” Granny Smith hollered something back at me that once upon a time had been an affirmative, and then the two of us set out.

The sun had only recently broken through the clouds when we set off. For the past day or so, the weather had been incredibly British; neither raining, nor turning sunny, just a continuous overcast making both the day and night quite miserable.

Apple Bloom trotted alongside me, every now and then helping me to keep the heavy box centred on my back. She seemed relatively happy considering the circumstances of her visit. Back when I was a youngster, being taken to apologise to someone I’d wronged was like a march to the scaffold; damned inconvenient.

However, in this case, I decided that AB had ‘figured out’ Time Turner. The Crusaders were sorry, and they had apologised profusely already, but Granny Smith and Rarity had insisted that they all go to Time Turner and apologise formally. You can’t make a foal be sorry, just say it. I think Time Turner appreciated this fact. And of course, he wasn’t that mad with them, at the time, he’d all but burst out laughing.

Both parties saw the apology as being a little unnecessary, I’m fairly certain that Time Turner was content to merely move on and say no more about it. But societal norms had intervened and so you ended up with three fillies, making an apology to a pony who didn’t actually want one, due to pressure from others. At least it’s nice to see societal interference isn’t restricted to little things like love and personal relationships.

The two of us chatted amicably as we made our way into town. Upon entering Ponyville, we found it to be a little quieter than usual. Not unexpected, after all school had been let out not two hours ago and most folks were thinking about heading on home. Of course, we still had plenty of time before Time Turner would be shutting up shop for the night. I decided that to take AB’s mind off this whole business, I’d treat her to a bit of stargazing later on. The Weather Patrol had promised clear skies tonight and the moon was only at a waxing crescent, so it would be easy enough to see most of the stars.

“You know, Blade Star,” Apple Bloom was saying. “It’s been kinda weird at school this week, having your mom replacing Miss Cheerilee every now and again.” A thought occurred to me.

“Say, AB, who do ya reckon is the better teacher; Miss Cheerilee or my mom?” Apple Bloom looked conflicted for a moment. “And don’t just say its Mom to stay in my good books,” I added smiling.

“Well…Ah suppose Ah haven’t had anypony but Miss Cheerilee teach me since, well forever. But your mom is a mighty good teacher. She’s real good keeping Diamond Tiara in her place too. At the moment, Ah’d have to say they’re ‘bout even.” A prudent enough answer I suppose.

“Ah was just wonderin’ is all,” I replied. “Ya see, back when Ah was a young’un, my mom used to come into my school every once in a while to help out.” I subconsciously shuddered at the memory. “It was mighty strange havin your own mom in school with ya; Ah thought ya might be pickin’ up that same sort of vibe.” I shook my head as we neared Time Turner’s shop. The door was open and the little sign was out front, so we were in good time.

“Here we are, AB. Shouldn’t take more than a minute or so. Lookin’ at that old thing, Ah doubt Time Turner will be able to get it fixed tonight. How ‘bout we make a quick stop at Sugarcube Corner on the way back?” The little filly nodded eagerly at the prospect of sugary treats.

Passing through the front door, my ears were assaulted with the usual cacophony of ticking clocks and occasional chimes. But other than that; it was quiet. Usually when somepony comes in, the old Timelord usually shouts something from wherever he is.

“Hello? Doctor?” I called as we trotted inside. Heading up to the front desk, I set the clock down safely on the counter and tapped the small service bell with a hoof. “Time Turner, ya in here?” Again, I got no response. This was now slightly worrying, I knew for a fact that he’d never leave his store, and all the scientific equipment that Equestria shouldn’t have yet, without locking up first, so he had to be in here somewhere.

I leaned over the counter slightly, putting my front hooves on it. Peering through the doorway, I could see the clear shadow of two ponies, one earth pony, presumably Time Turner, and a pegasus. Judging by the position of the shadows that were cast by the lamplight, the two were facing each other at very close quarters. Now I knew for sure something was seriously wrong.

“Apple Bloom, why don’t you just stay back here for a minute okay? Ah’m just gonna take a quick snoop ‘round,” I said quietly, both to keep her calm and not alert any potential assailant. However, the filly saw clean through me.

“Blade Star, what’s goin’ on?” she asked, worry creeping into her voice.

“Nothin’ for ya to worry ‘bout, little lady,” I replied. “Just hold up here a minute, okay? Ah’ll be back in a second.” And so, leaving AB at the front of the store, and hopefully out of harm’s way, I moved into the rear part of the shop.

I charged my horn with a stun spell as I edged my way forward. Whatever this pegasus was doing, I was fairly certain he’d back away from a unicorn with some practice in defensive magic. Celestia willing, he’d flee if I could surprise him. I continued to creep forward; neither of the two silhouettes seemed to be moving, except for some occasional breathing from Time Turner. No words were exchanged between the two of them. In fact, the pegasus didn’t even appear to be that threatening. Finally, I rounded the corner, coming up alongside Time Turner.

“Alright, friend, just stay where ya are!” I warned the pegasus. Only it wasn’t a pegasus. It wasn’t even Equestrian. The realisation of what stood before me made my blood run cold.

“Oh by the moon,” I muttered.

“Don’t speak!” Time Turner hissed angrily. “Just don’t move and we’ll be okay,” I tried to avoid looking at the creature that stood before me in the eye, knowing that to do so for too long would be to lose my nerve.

“Where in the name of Celestia did that thing come from?!” I demanded in a similar shouting whisper.

“My guess would be Canterlot,” he replied eventually. “It may have followed me through when I found myself on this world. I guess I didn’t seal the tear fast enough. It probably blended in there for a while, gathering energy. Then it followed me here.”

And then, just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse.

“Hey, Blade Star, ya okay back there?” I heard the voice of Apple Bloom. Her call was promptly followed by the sound of small hooves on the wooden floor. While I didn’t dare turn my head, I felt her standing next to me. “Blade Star, what’s the matter?” she asked after observing the pair of us for a moment. In a vain effort to protect her from the thing that stood before us, I put a leg around her.

“Apple Bloom, listen to me very carefully. Don’t run, don’t turn your back, don’t look away, and don’t blink. Blink and we’re done for. Whatever you do, don’t blink.” I felt a tear start to run down my cheek, so great was my terror. Quite ironic really.

Before us stood a stone pegasus; a statue. Its’ wings covered its eyes, as if it was weeping in sorrow. But the look on its features told a different story. It was smiling. At that moment, I felt certain that we were all dead.

The three of us had been standing in almost total silence for a good ten minutes now. The pegasus hadn’t moved an inch; it remained quantum locked, and given that there were three of us looking at it, it would remain so for the moment. However, we’d reached the shop just before five in the afternoon. Before long it would be dark. Then, it would simply be a matter of when the lamps went out.

My first thought was for Apple Bloom, the very first thing I tried to get her to do after finding myself relatively safe, was to get out of the shop and fetch Twilight. If I was going to get caught, I was damned if I was going to let the same happen to that little filly. And there I go with those paternal ramblings again. Try as I might though, Apple Bloom refused to leave me and Time Turner. She can be just as stubborn as her sister sometimes. In the end, I managed to convince her to move further away from us, into the lamplight. At least then, she’d have a chance. The sun was going down quickly and for once I longed for Celestia’s day.

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” I asked Time Turner at length. “It’s just the one after all. If we both slowly back around toward the front of the shop…” Time Turner cut me off

“If we slowly back around to the front, we have to go around a corner, and whichever way you look at it, we’ll lose sight of it for a moment. And a moment is all it needs. The damn thing got in through the back door, look where we are now. Backing away won’t help,” he replied.

Having been in a state of near continuous terror for the past ten minutes or so, my nerves began to fail me. It started with a giggle, but before long, I was laughing loudly, like a complete madpony.

“Did anypony see this coming?” I all but shouted. “Ah mean really, what are the odds that Ah end up coming to a shop Ah’ve only visited a half dozen times, on the exact day an evil creature also finds its way here? It’s brilliant!” I began to laugh hysterically again. I knew any second, despite every other emotion, I was going to turn and bolt like a coward. Luckily, before that, Apple Bloom intervened.

“Blade Star, snap out of it!” she ordered, before smacking me across the face with a hoof. I promptly recovered my head.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” I muttered, rubbing my cheek, though infinitely grateful. I’d never have forgiven myself if I’d abandoned them.

As I was rubbing my cheek, I took my eyes off the pegasus for a moment and found myself looking at the far wall. On the wall, was our saviour; a mirror.

“Doctor, do ya see what Ah see?” I asked, gesturing towards the mirror, but keeping my eyes on the pegasus for when he looked.

“I see it, too bad it’s facing the wrong way,” he replied bitterly. An idea began to form in my head.

“Doc, these things have basic predatory instincts, right? So they’ll always attack whichever being they see as bein’ either the easiest kill, or the one that puts their survival at greatest risk.”

“I don’t mean to rush you,” Time Turner replied. “But, erm, angel, about four feet away!”

“If somepony was behind it, they could potentially injure it, right? If somepony’s still looking at it, it can’t move to escape, and it would take the first opportunity to dispatch that threat.”

“And it would turn and face the mirror!” Time Turner finished, now sounding excited. “I love it!”

“What are you two talkin’ ‘bout?” Apple Bloom asked. I did my best to summarise the basic ‘rules’ of stopping angels.

“AB, whilst somepony’s lookin’ at this thing, it’s just a statue and it can’t hurt nopony. But we can’t keep lookin’ at it forever. But, if it looks at its own reflection, it’ll never be able to look away, so it’ll be stuck there forever and we can get away!”

“Ah,” said Time Turner. I turned to him for a second.

“What?”

“The mirror isn’t that large. Whoever plays bait will have to get caught. There’s no way you could dodge it in time. Once it catches them, it’ll see the mirror and lock up.”

Well that sucked. There were three of us here; an apple farmer, a small filly and a twelve hundred year old alien who had saved the universe multiple times. Applying the utilitarian principle, it was fairly obvious who would be playing bait.

I didn’t want to of course; I had a family, a marefriend, far more friends than I’d had back on Earth. Hay, I’d taken out a being that was a few steps shy of being a deity out to dinner once! I was reminded of Luna’s advice from all those months ago. I wasn’t going to play hero; I was going to bring this incident to its logical conclusion.

“Then Ah guess Ah’m playin’ bait,” I said, with an air of finality. Apple Bloom immediately objected and tried to dissuade me. But I was having none of it. “Apple Bloom, it won’t kill me; that ain’t what there varmints do. It’ll send me back in time, Ah don’t know when, but Ah ought to be okay.”

By this point Apple Bloom was in tears. Whichever way you cut it, to her I might as well be dead. She would never see me again. Even when the Doctor found the TARDIS, he couldn’t retrieve me and just bring me back; it would be crossing my own timeline. With a final kiss to the filly’s head, I moved around the angel.

I was terrified; I didn’t want to do this. Why the hay did we have to come here today? Why didn’t I just let the hero play hero instead of doing this? What in the name of Celestia and Luna was I thinking? On the other hand, Time Turner would be needed if this didn’t work, and was not going to stand by whilst Apple Bloom was in danger. If this thing wasn’t stopped here, it could easily get out into the town and cause havoc. Hay, who knew how many ponies it had already caught back in Canterlot and on its way here. It was the logical thing to do; that’s what I kept telling myself. Eventually, I got into position and charged my horn. Now, if the pegasus tried to grab the Doctor and AB, I could probably hit it with magic and hurt it. Assuming it followed the basic laws of nature, when we closed our eyes, it would go for me.

“Alright you two,” I called. “When Ah say ‘now’, close your eyes for a second. That’s all it’ll need. Once it’s safe, find Twilight and get her down here. With any luck she might be able to help.”

“Good luck, lad,” Time Turner called. I braced myself, closing my eyes and breathing deeply.

“Now!”

I didn’t feel anything; there was no sensation of the pegasus touching me. Nor did I feel anything when I was propelled back through time and all the potential temporal energy I had was taken from me. What I do remember is that the landing was rough. For whatever reason, when I rematerialized, or whatever you want to call it, I was about two and a half feet in the air, and I landed on the ground with a dull thud.

Right. So, I have become the first human, from my universe at any rate to travel through time. Damn it. I had no idea when I was. Weeping angles aren’t particular about where they send you, but, as Time Turner said, they are the kindest psychopaths, at least I wasn’t dead. So, anyway, first order of business, determine roughly where I am in the timeline and my general location.

It was rather dark where I was, but I could make out a few things. Underhoof there were cobblestones, so wherever I was, it had to be one of the major cities of Equestria. It was fairly quiet too; the noise of general hubbub was just about audible. As my vision cleared, I realised I was in a darkened alleyway of some sort. Odd little ramshackle shops sat unsteadily in the crowded real estate. It sort of reminded me of the place where Trixie had illegally obtained the Alicorn Amulet.

Looking in both directions yielded no obvious exit, so I settled on heading to my right and followed the alley. It had to come out somewhere after all. If I just stuck with one direction, I was bound to come out onto a thoroughfare in the end.

I spent the next ten minutes or so, pretty much lost. Of course, being a male, I knew exactly where I was going, and to be fair, there wasn’t anypony else to ask for directions even if I wanted to. In the end though, after turning at pretty much random intervals, I saw daylight and my way out onto one of the busier streets. With any luck, I could get my bearings and make a rough guess as to where I was.

As soon as I walked out into the light, the answer became clear as the day in which I stood. The gleaming golden spires, the towering ramparts, and the unashamedly aristocratic ponies around me told me I was in Canterlot. I figured I would stick out like a sore thumb in my Stetson. But a hoof to my head quickly informed me that my hat had not joined me on my travels. Maybe I’d stolen a bit from the Langoliers; when I left, my hat had dropped to the floor. At least I would be relatively inconspicuous. I made a conscious effort to reassert my old British accent too.

With my location worked out, all I had to worry about now was my temporal location. I could only guess on how far back I had been sent, so I decided to go hunting for a newspaper stand and see if I could check the date. My rough plan then, since I was in Canterlot, was to go and try to get an audience with Princess Celestia, I doubted Luna would be ‘back’ yet. With any luck, she might be able to help me. Assuming I wasn’t judged to be absolutely nuts and carted off to the Equestrian version of Bedlam.

It was then though, I looked up at the sky. Just out of habit really, and to take a look at the castle. What I saw though, gave me pause.

The sky was pink.

Not actually pink, you could tell it was blue, but the whole thing, the sky and the valley below, where I could just about make out Ponyville was tinted pink. Furthermore, all across my vision Royal Guard pegasi were criss crossing the sky in patrol patterns. Heightened security.

A check of a nearby newspaper stand confirmed my suspicions. The date was April 19th, the year was 1002 CR. By our calendar, that was 2012. The headline read the following:

‘CANTERLOT PREPARES FOR ROYAL WEDDING.’

Bugger.

Chapter 71 - Chrysalis

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Okay, so I’m now in a serious bit of bother. Let’s review what I know. Firstly, I am in Canterlot, a mere couple of days prior to the Royal Wedding due to the actions of a creature known as a Weeping Angel. Second, I know that in two days’ time, Equestria will be attacked by an army of roughly five hundred insectoid vermin. I am therefore in a position to stop it, though that is not strictly necessary. Third, I am likely to be trapped here indefinitely.

My first thought you ask? ‘How the hay do I not contaminate the timeline?’. Mad, I know. Here I am, Equestria’s equivalent of December 6th 1941 and I’m worried about altering history. On the other hand, my rough understanding of temporal mechanics led me to the conclusion that my very presence at this point could have serious repercussions of future events. Doc Brown’s warning of altering history started looping in my head. Hay, accidentally bumping into somepony could start a chain reaction that would lead to the destruction of all life as we knew it for all I knew.

So, my first though was to get out of Canterlot, and keep away from, well pretty much everypony. If I could find a quiet corner of the world, I would be able to live out my life in relative safety. Otherwise, at some point in a few years down the line, I could potentially end up meeting myself, which would have disastrous consequences. Equestria had already had had two breaches in the fabric of space/time, it didn’t need another one.

I couldn’t go to see Celestia either. It would result in contamination to the timeline, as would any interaction. Time travel is not as fun as it looks. If only I’d been sent back further. Even worse, I had the ability to potentially get rid of or at least prematurely unmask a villain who to this day, has a bounty of over half a million bits on her head. But I couldn’t. To do so would mean that the season two finale would play out differently, which would affect everything else that happened, which would in turn create a paradox that would…

Wait a minute.

The angel had sent me back in time by about three or four years. I knew how everything was supposed to turn out. I was a product of a particular future and only existed because of that future. If I were to do something now, in the past, that would have a ripple effect on my own future. Everything would change; including my arrival and everything I did since arriving in Equestria. This would mean that the timeline in which Apple Bloom and I went to Time Turner’s shop and encountered the Weeping Angel would not have happened, or at least happened a different way. In turn, I, as I am now, would never have existed because of the change in timelines.

Well, you can’t send something back in time when it has never existed, now can you? If I did something in the past, I could create a grandfather paradox. I would change the past, but therefore never have existed to come back here and change the past in the first place. Confusing I know. If I understood temporal mechanics correctly, this would result in a reset of the timeline. The Weeping Angel itself would become a paradox, as it had fed off the time energy of something that had no time energy because it didn’t exist. To put it in layman’s terms, I could potentially be brought back to my point of origin (the present), and the angel would be caught in the paradox; the negative temporal energy would be like feeding a human poison, destroying it completely.

So, I guess I would be doing a little bit of interfering before I left, the paradox would need to be a major one for it to work; little changes wouldn’t have a serious enough effect. Assuming I was right of course. Nothing of what I thought had ever been proved by science or magic and an alarming portion of it came from a ‘fictional’ television show about a time travelling alien. But, hay, it’s not like I have anything better to do. And the worst that could happen is that the paradox destroys the totality of existence. Hay, if it did all go to pot, at least I’d be able to do something I’d always wanted to do; get even with a villain.

Today, getting into Canterlot Castle, outside of going to see a fairly well guarded Celestia or Luna in their respective courts, is pretty hard. They don’t let just anypony wander around in there. Everypony, even guards are routinely checked at security stations and various espionage protocols are in place to prevent replacement. It also of course, usually helps keep out the crazies and other ponies that shouldn’t be let near figures of authority.

However, at this point in the timeline, the Royal Guard was something of a mess. After all, it had been less than a year since the thestrals had returned from their self-imposed exile, and it was a difficult task to reintegrate them, particularly when there was still some animosity from a thousand years ago.

In addition, the Royal Guard had not engaged in large scale combat for over four hundred years. They were little more than a police force really, with the old trappings of military tradition. They were not really prepared for a large scale military incursion or combat in an urban environment. On the plus side though, it did make it far easier for me to enter Canterlot Castle unmolested. I certainly couldn’t do it today.

My plan, which had solidified on the walk there was fairly simple. I was going to enter the castle, avoiding being seen as much as possible and find a way to get close to ‘Cadance’ when she was alone. I then planned to do something incredibly stupid; attack. Using the various dark magic spells I had learnt ought to give me a chance, particularly against an unprepared opponent. If possible, I would do my best to restrain her. The change in the timeline would need to be somewhat major, so I needed to do something drastic.

Assuming all went well and I managed to somehow hold down a changeling queen running off the power of Shining Armor’s love, I could then affect the timeline. Say, by exposing her to a number of ponies. A twisted part of me suggested I kill her; after all, I was capable of doing so, and it certainly would affect the timeline enough. As long as I caused enough of a change, my slightly insane, undoubtedly stupid and idiotic plan might just work.

Possibly.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

Getting into the castle wasn’t too tricky; it seems that at this point, the Royal Guard were content to trust you if you said you were with the catering crew. Speaking of, rule of thumb for getting into places you aren’t supposed to; never pretend to be someone important, always be low level staff, nopony will ever look twice at you.

With a promise that I had left my security pass in the castle kitchens by accident, I managed to get inside and quickly worked my way into some of the staff only areas. It was very surreal. Security was just so lax, despite appearances, that most issues could be circumvented. If I saw a guard coming, just duck into one of many unlocked rooms, if there’s one on watch blocking your way, it was alarmingly easy to distract them. It was both fun and horrifying. It was no wonder that the place had been infiltrated.

At length, I managed to locate one Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. A few moments of observation of her behaviour told me it was not her. My one concern was that I had arrived before Cadance was lifted, in which case I had contemplated interfering there. But no, after watching an extremely passive aggressive princess for a minute or so, I saw the tell-tale discrepancy in her eyes.

I now had to stick with her, following her without being seen, until such a time as I could get close to her, without risk of interference by third parties. Of course, it was mere days prior to the wedding, so she was going hither and thither talking to all sorts of ponies and no real opportunities presented themselves. However, at one point, I did get an opportunity to mess with her head.

At a rough guess, I decided it had to be around four in the afternoon at this point and ‘Cadance’ was still busy and almost constantly surrounded either by ponies connected to the wedding, or by guards. I was starting to get worried; come nightfall, the thestrals of the Lunar Guard would take over, and they were not so easily fooled. In fact, most of the post-Incursion re-training was done by thestral officers.

However, there were times, when she was in the relatively lonely hallways, that she was alone. For reasons that I still have yet to fully understand, possibly the ease of avoiding the guards going to my head, I chose to briefly communicate with her.

As best as I could, I had been discretely following ‘Cadance’ around for most of the day. No need to hide in air vents or anything of the like. And on occasion, she would pass me in the corridors, although I was safely hidden in the shadows. Anyway, at one point, she emerged from one room or another and began heading down the hallway. I meanwhile emerged from where I had been hiding and walked towards her. As I passed her in the hallway, I said one thing, quietly of course, so nopony else could hear.

“Good evening, Queen Chrysalis.”

I promptly of course made myself scarce, and I was gone long before she had had time to process what she had heard and turn around. I did however, hear her breath catch and she turned around, near galloping in the direction I had supposedly taken. I’ve no idea why I did it, but it put the wind up her and put her on edge for the next hour or two.

Since I realised that I was going to be here for some time, I couldn’t depend on just keeping out of sight to avoid detection. Falling back on habits forged in too many Hitman games, I sought out a disguise. Luckily, I was able to find my way into, what I presumed, was a storage room. Inside were a number of Royal Guard armor suits. The enchantment placed on them alters coat and mane colour to fit in with the others, and would make me all but invisible, at least at a distance.

Removing the armor from the stand it was resting on, I carefully fastened it to myself. It was actually quite similar to the King Sombra outfit I had worn on Nightmare Night, although the lower collar was easier on the neck. As I dressed, I quietly sung a little tune to myself.

“Now honour to the guardsman,
Who still keeps up the fight.
And shame upon the lunar stallion,
Who wears the golden light.”

It was in a way ironic for me. I always saw myself as a supporter of Luna. Yet here I was wearing, illegally I might add, the uniform of a Solar Guard. At any rate though, I now had a disguise and additionally, a weapon in the form of a spear. I felt the low level magic kick in as I locked the last clasp and like a wave, my dark grey coat turned to a lighter shade, whilst my mane turned to become silver. I was the spitting image of a unicorn of the Royal Guard. With that done, I stepped back out into the castle, now free to roam around without too much fear of discovery.

I hurriedly returned to the room I had seen ‘Cadance’ go into and stationed myself outside it, mimicking the behaviour of most Royal Guards. As a Briton who was often the only sober one amongst a group of drunks, I have a fairly good ability to keep a straight face. I remained outside that room, listening, for what felt like hours.

Eventually, my waiting and steady vigilance paid off. After all, eventually the various staff members packed up and went home. And so ‘Cadance’ was now far more exposed. Consequently, I saw her retreat to her room. I would not say she was running scared, but she knew that somepony out there knew about her, and it had her concerned. Much to my annoyance, I heard the lock of her chamber doors click. With night coming swiftly on, there was no way I would be able to break in, and I’m not the sort of pony who knows how to pick locks anyway. I may have used a few video game tricks here and there, but I was no expert of covert operations.

What I did know however, was that the royal suites, such as the one ‘Cadance’ was staying in boasted a balcony that allowed a pony to overlook the castle courtyard and a fair portion of the city. There were doors on the balcony, but given that it was near midsummer, I doubted they would be locked; Equestria after all has yet to invent a large scale A/C system.

Were I a pegasus, nothing could be simpler, a short flight and I would be there. As it is, my only option was to teleport myself there. And for that, I was going to need line of sight. If you cannot visualise exactly where you want to go, it is incredibly easy to mess up the spell, one of many reasons I so rarely use it. Plus, when I got there, I was going to need all the energy I had. A careful check of the surrounding room revealed all of them to be locked, for once. So my next option was the castle roof.

After carefully making my way to the upper levels of the castle, I eventually found a way to access the roof, a maintenance door of some sort. Much to my alarm, the hinges squeaked horrendously and for a moment, I feared I would be caught by the night guard. After freezing for a few moments though, it became clear that nopony was onto me, and I found myself on the roof of the castle, well a part of it anyway. I was now very exposed, both to the patrols and those inside should I accidentally knock off a roof tile.

By this point, the sun had all but gone down, and the moon was slowly rising into the sky. At least with my dark coloured coat, it would be easier to blend in, though the bright armor I was wearing sort of countered it. Steadily, I worked my way along the roof, keeping one eye out for patrols. Eventually, I got over the crest of the roof, and could see the balcony. Standing right there, looking over the city was ‘Cadance’ herself. A quick teleport and I was with her, standing a little ways behind near the door. Of course, a teleport is not exactly a stealthy entrance given its signature flash and pop.

Her ears promptly perked up, listening. It seemed pointless to try and be stealthy any longer. However, I was wearing a guard uniform; it was quite possible I could convince her I had come here on business. The disguised changeling queen promptly turned around. And in that exact instant, my courage failed me. Sure, I had contemplated what I would do in this scenario, I’m sure quite a few ponies would like to take a swing at this witch. However, when the variable called reality is introduced, it dawns on you quite quickly that you are mortal and facing something that could easily kill you. Thus, instead of coming across in any way as intimidating, all that came out when she turned to look at me, was a quiet squeak as my ears pressed themselves flat against my skull.

“I was wondering when you would show up,” she replied mimicking Cadance’s voice perfectly. She smiled cruelly at me, clearly able to sense my fear. I began to slowly tap into what dark magic I had, utilising the emotions I felt for Chrysalis, and to an extent, Cadance. I made sure to keep my thoughts away from anypony else, I desperately tried to summon back my nerves. “I suppose you are here to try and kill me?” I did my upmost to bury my fear and reply. Somehow this, in my old British accent, came out.

“Kill you?” I replied, sounding a little confused. “Um, no. Don’t be obvious. I mean, at some point I probably will kill you, but I don’t want to rush it.” My fearful state merely added to the believability, giving me a slightly crazed look.

“Then what do you want?” she replied. Before, I could respond, she cut me off, and acted in a way I had expected she would, if given half the chance. “Actually, don’t worry about that, it doesn’t really matter anyway.” And with that, she began to cast a spell.

Her horn glowed a sickly green colour that seems to be universal amongst changelings as a species. It isn’t dark magic by any stretch of the imagination, though, as it is relatively unknown, some do mistake it for that. It was easy enough to guess what she was doing, secondary teleportation. A green ring of fire began to form around me, when it was completed, it would enable ‘Cadance’ to transport me to the Crystal Caves, just as she had done with Cadance and would do with Twilight. She seemed to suffer from the same problem as Celestia; rather than deal with her problems, she preferred to lock them away. The ring quickly completed forming itself around me.

“Before you go,” she said smugly. “Do tell me; was getting captured part of your plan?”

Now, if I may split hairs, a long range independent teleport of another being is an impressive magical feat; I personally only use teleportation when absolutely necessary due to the difficulty level. However, it also takes time to work. It actually takes a good five to seven seconds to completely encircle a target and to begin to teleport them, during that time the caster is vulnerable to certain magical spells. And with this knowledge; knowing that she was now just as vulnerable as I was, my fears departed. At least enough to garner me into action. So, it gave me great pleasure to reply to her question with:

“Of course.” Instantly, I let loose that dark magic that I had been quietly building up along with my courage. The bubbling purple and green magic shot from my mutated horn, whilst my eyes oozed with magical vapour. I imagine, even to a changeling, I looked an unsettling sight. I poured all the energy I dared into my spell; it was a very risky throw of the dice.

As part of my own study of dark magic, one of the many spells I had come across was what was termed a ‘Sealing Spell’. This had been used by King Sombra against Shining Armor, when the two clashed outside the gates of the Crystal Empire. The spell does what it says on the tin; it seals off a target’s magic. Any creature with a horn or other magic focussing appendage, will find their magic cut off, still there, but inaccessible. Such a spell could certainly level the playing field, so I used it against the changeling queen.

I was actually half surprised, as Chrysalis was when she knocked down Celestia, when I found myself free of the teleportation spell. Before me, Chrysalis was sprawled on the ground, a hoof clutched to her gnarled horn, which was now laced with obsidian crystals, in agony. In addition to knocking out her teleport, it had also disabled her ability to take on a disguise. She was now effectively powerless.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I break your concentration?” I asked sarcastically, enjoying the moment. Chrysalis meanwhile simply cackled.

“This is a foolish and fatal move, pony. You just declared war against the Changelings.” Encasing her in my magic, which she could no longer resist, I lifted her up, moving her towards the edge of the balcony.

“This is not war. This is pest control!” I replied coldly, now fully in control of the situation. Still, she continued to cackle madly.

“You think those pathetic guards can stop the might of my army?” she asked scornfully.

“I don’t need to stop them, just you. That’s the great flaw with a hivemind species. You are superior to ponies in one respect.”

“Oh, and what is that?” As I forced her front hooves between the gaps in the balcony, I used a burst of magic to create a pair of rudimentary hoofcuffs, something Strong Shield taught me. She was now secured, unable to fly, or use magic. I then formed a small amount of magic around her neck, just as I had done with Strong Shield, and squeezed, briefly choking her. I moved to whisper in her ear.

“You are better at dying!” I hissed angrily. And with that, I relented. As you can probably tell, I had let out that little nasty part of me that had not been out since Strong Shield got unmasked. This time though, I intended to keep it on a leash. I breathed to calm my nerves, and my heart; which was currently going a mile a minute.

“Now,” I said, my tone far more composed and controlled. “How about we get down to the important issues? I’m sure you have a fair few questions you would like to ask before your…departure.” As I’ve said before, as an educated Briton, playing a villain is something that suits me down to the ground.

Chrysalis snarled at me, unable to move, though like the other spells I had used, they would only last for so long. Like it or not, Chrysalis had more energy than I did and would eventually be able to override the restraints.

“Fine. How did you know?” she spat angrily.

“Ah, fox you may smell, and fox you may be. But I can tell your fortune in the water,” I said, dipping into an old tale of El-Ahrairah. “I’m from the future. Time traveller, you see, though not intentionally.” Chrysalis snorted. “I assure you I’m telling you the truth. You actually are quite talented at disguising yourself; I simply had the good fortune of knowing where to look. Your attempt, and subsequent failure, to take Canterlot has actually been well documented.”

“So, you are here to ridicule and then kill me?” I began to slowly walk around her as I talked, grinning cruelly.

“I suppose in a way you’re half right. In another way of course, you are completely wrong. It would be needlessly harsh to ridicule somepony such as yourself. You played a beautiful game after all. It’s just sometimes, you still lose. And, if all goes well, then no, I shan’t kill you. Well, I will, but none of this will ever have happened, you certainly won’t remember it. Hay, I’m not sure if I will.” I chuckled darkly.

“You do not strike me as a killer, pony,” Chrysalis stated, flashing her fangs. Evidently, I was not selling the act; I needed to step up my game. Using my magic, I picked up the large ceremonial spear that I had been carrying. I regarded it for a few moments and then with one quick strike, I brought it down on her right wing, slashing it cleanly. The changeling squealed in agony.

“How about now, my dear?” I replied, whispering into her ear. Chrysalis was in too much pain to reply. “That’s your problem, Chrysalis; you underestimate your opponents.” I turned away from her, examining the green coloured blood that coated the spear’s tip. “You think that by putting all your problems away in an old mineshaft, you won’t have to worry? These ponies are resourceful, clever and possess the most powerful source of magic known to exist; augmenting your own magic with a bit of love just won’t cut it. That is what will cost you. That is what will send you, and your children, hurtling off towards the Badlands to starve, slowly.”

Whilst I had been talking, and ironically making the same final mistake as Chrysalis, albeit without the singing, the changeling had been steadily chipping away at the crystals that laced her horn. Whilst King Sombra possessed magic far superior to Shining Armor, I did not outclass Chrysalis in the same way. She was close to breaking free. It was only by luck that I heard the cracking of the crystals. Turning around just in time, I hit her with a second shot of the sealing spell.

“You sly old vixen!” I exclaimed half in fright at the near miss I had just had. “You got me monologuing! I must apologise; I thought I had at least learnt from your mistakes.” I grinned as Chrysalis seethed as she found her magic once again inactive. Still, it seemed her ability to manipulate was right on form. She’d managed to goad me into getting too full of myself.

As much as I wanted to, Chrysalis was not the reason I was here. I was here to create a paradox that would, hopefully, allow me to get home. It was time to end this stupid charade. At that moment, we were interrupted.

“Hey, who goes there?” A pair of airborne thestrals had spotted the two of us on the balcony. Something tells me that a changeling queen and a pony that is clearly utilising dark magic, is not something that is going to go unreported. The pair quickly began to head for us. I had to act fast.

“Well, that’s a shame; it seems our time has run out, Chrysalis,” I said, flaring my horn to lift her into the air, removing the hoof restraints (with her right wing slashed, they were unnecessary). I then manoeuvred her so that he was facing me, hanging over the abyss. She struggled until the last.

“What are you doing? Release me!” she demanded, trying to once again override my sealing spell.

“I thought you’d want to escape capture though. I’m merely offering my assistance.” I replied callously.

“You slashed my wing; I can’t fly!” I let a smile play across my features.

“Don’t worry,” I replied darkly. “Falling is a lot like flying; only it has a more permanent destination.” At this point, the two guards were nearly upon us. I had to act now. “Sic semper tyrannis, Chrysalis!” And with that, I released my magical hold letting gravity take over.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IStlBOX9F4o

Everything, in that instant, turned into a hot white light. I was no longer standing on the balcony; I wasn’t standing on anything. There was nothing to give any indication where I was. But at this point, I was willing to take that as good news; I wasn’t stuck in the past anymore. Presently, I heard somepony clapping slowly, and a figure emerged out of the ether.

“Oh, well played, dear boy. Very well played,” Discord said, clapping his eagle talon and lion paw.

“Discord? What the sam hell are y’all doin’ here?” I asked, my old accent returning.

“Well, somepony has to clean up your mess, don’t they?” the draconequus countered, sounding a trifle annoyed. “After all you did just create a paradox.” I instantly cut him off.

“Yes!” I jumped in the air before my current situation brought me to my senses. “Wait a minute, so where are we now?” Discord smiled.

“Now? Well, I’d say were in limbo whilst the timelines try to sort out their hissy fit. You almost did cause two alternate timelines to collide after all. Even by my standards this is an incredible amount of chaos for just one being.”

“What?!” I exclaimed. Discord waved a paw reassuringly.

“Don’t worry, your insurance will cover it. Hang on. Give me a minute and I should be able to buff it out. Celestia will have my head if she has to foot the bill.” He snapped his talon and mechanic overalls appeared on him, whilst one of the walls of wherever I was opened up to reveal circuits and vacuum tubes. With a welding torch, complete with mask, Discord made some adjustments, cutting a hydraulic line and gluing it to the dial panel. I suddenly found myself being propelled away. “There, that should do it,” he said “You might want to hold on; crossing six dimensions can be a little bumpy!”

A moment later, I found myself out of the void and lying face down in Time Turner’s shop. Just about awake, I turned around to see where I had come from. All that was there was the shattered remains of a statue.

Chapter 72 - Realisation

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I lay there for a few moments. Whatever it was that I had just gone through; time vortex, inter-dimensional space or whatever, had really messed up my sense of balance. Eventually, I managed to get to my hooves as my strength returned and my breathing slowed, my body at last running out of adrenaline. I looked around. Directly behind me, possibly my point of origin, were the smashed and shattered remains of the pegasus. In front of me on the other hoof, were Time Turner and Apple Bloom.

I was glad the two of them were alright, although they seemed to have ducked to avoid something looked more than a little spooked. I rubbed my aching head as I got up. Looking up at my horn, I realised my dark magic was still active. I quickly cut it off, my horn turning back to its normal spiral design, and my eyes regaining their usual colour.

“Ooh, what the hay just happened?” I asked nopony in particular. Time Turner answered.

“The angel’s gone, and you came out through some kind of tear. What did you do?” he asked perplexedly.

My memories of my relatively brief visit to the past were still fairly clear in my mind, although now they had a sort of dreamlike quality to them; possibly due to the fact that, technically, they never happened. I quickly surmised what had happened. The Timelord was not best pleased.

“So let me get this straight; you were sent back in time, just prior to a big historical event, caused one major and probably several smaller paradoxes whilst you were there, and then that Discord fellow came and sent you back here?” I nodded. “Are you completely barmy?! Do you realise what could have gone wrong?!” I guess my grasp of temporal mechanics wasn’t as strong as I thought.

“What happened to the statue anyway?” Apple Bloom butted in. “It kinda shattered just after Blade Star disappeared. And why are ya dressed up like one of Princess Celestia’s guards?” I turned to her and looked down at myself. I’d lost the spear, but the rest of the armor was all still with me. I quickly set about removing it, my coat and mane regaining their usual colours.

“Ah had to try an’ blend in when that darn thing sent me back; wound up in Canterlot. How long was Ah gone anyway, AB?” I asked curiously. Her answer surprised me.

“Bout three seconds. Ya vanished in like a flash of light, then the pegasus cracked and fell apart, then you flew out of thin air.” Time travel for you. To me I’d been gone for several hours. I sighed, rubbing my nose with a hoof and turned back to Time Turner.

“Alright, Doc, since that thing’s gone, is there anything else we need to worry ‘bout?” I asked. He shook his head.

“What you did could very well have come unstuck and you certainly would have gotten yourself kicked out of the Academy for doing it, but there shouldn’t be any more issues. Just, don’t do it again, okay?” he pleaded. I laughed. “Oh, and I think you’ll be wanting this.” He passed me my dear old Stetson, the Indiana Jones theme music echoed as I settled it back on my head.

“Sure thing, Doc, next time Ah find ya staring down a weepin’ angel, Ah’ll just let it be.”

With the crisis over and everypony reunited, we all went back to the front of the shop. It was just getting on for quarter to six, and about time for the shop to close. For the sake of everypony involved, we decided that what had transpired would be kept between a small number of ponies; those involved, Twilight, Applejack and the other Elements. Twilight, as the local princess and scientist; she would undoubtedly enjoy analysing the remains, and Applejack due to the fact that it involved both her coltfriend and her little sister.

After handing over the clock that we had originally intended to bring, amidst much chuckling, Apple Bloom and I started on our way home. It would certainly be an interesting story to tell; good for a Nightmare Night yarn in any case.

The two of us steadily made our way through the town as everypony closed up for the night, completely unaware of what had transpired. I was certainly glad that the thing had been destroyed and was for certain, dead. Even if we had managed to trap the angel by its own reflection, it would still be a risk. Plus there would be endless questions about why Time Turner had a snarling pegasus statue in his back hallway.

By the time we made our way onto Sweet Apple Acres, it was starting to drop dark. The last red hues were beginning to fade, replaced by the purples and deep blues of the twilight. With the action over, I was experiencing something along the lines of delayed shock and adrenaline. After all, not less than twenty minutes ago, I had, in cold blood, thrown the changeling queen off a balcony to her death, and what was worse, I had enjoyed every second of it.

I’d had similar feelings after my encounter with Strong Shield. Of course, Strong Shield did not deserve what I had done to him; Chrysalis was another story. After all it was her, by proxy, that had cost Strong Shield his eye. She had imprisoned a princess and a future princess and injured another. Her ‘children’ had harmed dozens of ponies and caused a great deal of damage to Canterlot and made a wedding memorable for all the wrong reasons. Her death was, in that sense, justifiable.

But, on the other hoof, I had never done something like that before. I liked to think I was not capable of it. Sure I had got in fights and such over the years, and I had seen that I had a darker side, as we all do. But the fact that I had used the excuse of a paradox to kill another being was something that made me sick to my stomach. Yes, it had never really happened, but to me it was real. And hay, Chrysalis may have harmed ponies, but she had not killed anypony. Did that make me worse than her?

This was something that was going to stay with me for a long time. I mean, I’m sure pretty much everypony would have been happy to have a shot at taking out Chrysalis, some would be content to kick her when she was down. But nopony had ever had the opportunity. And there is a difference between saying you want to do something and actually doing it.

So it was then, during that walk back to the home and ponies that I loved and cared for, that I realised how deeply my hatred ran. And it was blind hatred to boot. I had never had a run in with a changeling before Strong Shield, and yet when put face to face with their queen in an opportune moment, I had killed her. In a nation that is based on the principles of harmony; loyalty, honesty, generosity, kindness, laughter and magic, I had allowed my hate to flourish.

I resolved then and there, to drop it. Hay, if I hadn’t managed to work it out of my system after the experience I had just undergone, there had to be something wrong with me. From that moment on, I set aside my thoughts and feelings regarding changelings. Yes, they had done terrible things. But they had done nothing to me. They were beaten, and were in no position to come back to try again. There’s no point holding animosity against a defeated foe. Who knows, perhaps one day Chrysalis shall be deposed and a peace may form. It would do no good if ponies, or changelings, still held onto grudges. I remembered what Applejack had told me about doing that.

I removed the old hog’s tooth bullet from under my hat. It was still inscribed with Chrysalis’ name. But what use was it really now? Taking it in a hoof, and with all the force I could muster, I hurled it off into the nearby woods. I was done with it. I had moved on.

With this revelation, I brightened up noticeably. Apple Bloom had been sticking close by my side all the way back. To take my mind off everything, I did my best to focus on her. After all, she had had just as much a traumatic experience. I was in my late teens when I first saw the Weeping Angels and the buggers gave me nightmares for a week. She would need someone to help her for a while. I thanked my lucky stars that Equestria had somepony to help with bad dreams as well.

When we got back, Apple Bloom, much to AJ’s surprise, wrapped herself around her sister’s forelegs. I quickly explained, as best I could, that we’d had something of an encounter with an alien at Time Turner’s shop, but that everything was alright now.

“Ah was just gonna head out to see Twilight, AJ. Ah figure it’s best that she knows ‘bout this sooner not later. Just to be on the safe side,” I said reassuringly. Applejack had understandably been quite worried for both of us when I explained about the stone pegasus. In fact, she insisted on coming with me to see Twilight. So, I turned to Granny Smith, who was in her rocking chair

“Granny! Can ya keep an eye on AB while me and AJ are out; poor thing’s mighty spooked.” Granny Smith replied with an affirmative and took the filly into the other room. And so, I quickly hurried over to Twilight’s.

The lights were on at the Golden Oaks Library when we got there, and from outside I could hear Twilight, well, being Twilight and obsessing over something. Knocking on the front door (it was after hours for the library, after all) I kindly greeted Spike and asked to see Twilight.

“Maybe you can help calm her down. Ever since Time Turner brought those bits of stone in, she’s been going nuts,” he said as he ushered us inside.

We found Twilight and Time Turner studying the remains of the pegasus on one of the libraries reading tables. From the look on Time Turner’s face he was having one of his rare ‘Doctor’ moments, where he let his old universe saving self, shine though the typical clockmaker façade. Twilight was just as hyper, eagerly putting the stone remains through a number of tests using a small chemistry set that she had pitched on the table.

“Ah see ya heard ‘bout our recent visitor,” I remarked dryly as the two looked up at my arrival. Twilight eagerly trotted over to me.

“Blade Star you won’t believe this! I ran the test a dozen times, this rock actually shows signs of being organic.”

“Twilight, it was alive not ten minutes ago. And the damn thing was tryin’ to kill Blade Star and Apple Bloom!” Applejack exclaimed.

“They are an extremely dangerous species, Twilight. Even my people had the sense to steer clear of them,” Time Turner added.

“Okay, I get that they aren’t exactly friendly, but still. A lifeform made of sentient sedimentary rock! This has to be the first time science has ever encountered such a thing.” She began to pace excitedly. “I know; I’ll send samples to Pinkie’s sister, Maud knows more about rocks than anypony. I bet she could offer me some useful insights.”

“Twilight, not to rain on your parade or nothin’,” I broke in. “But shouldn’t we be more worried ‘bout the fact that a killer statue somehow got from Canterlot to Ponyville without bein’ noticed.” While looking slightly perturbed, Twilight reined in her enthusiasm and scientific curiosity.

“Well, from what Time Turner has told me, these ‘angels’ are immobile only when they are being looked at. The area between here and Canterlot is not lit that much. My guess is that it posed as a statue in Canterlot for a while, and then travelled at night to get here. It really is a brilliant defence mechanism when you think about it.”

“But what if there are more of these things?” AJ asked worriedly.

“I sincerely doubt that Ms. Applejack,” said Time Turner. “These things, if they can, tend to work in groups, not alone. My guess is that it’s a straggler. If there had been others, they would have descended en masse.” With Applejack now a bit more relaxed, we could move on to other issues.

“So what do ya want to do ‘bout this then, Twi?” I asked. Twilight thought for a moment.

“Well, since it’s ‘dead’, I don’t think we need to be too concerned. But I will send a letter to Celestia now and tell her what happened. After that, it’s probably best we send most of the remains to Canterlot for study. But I wouldn’t mind asking Maud about it as well. The only real concern is how it got here. Time Turner, are you positive it followed you, and it hasn’t come through another one of these tears?”

“I’m as sure as I can be, Twilight. Since it was on its own, it had to have been pretty weak. It followed me, but probably took a long time to regain its strength. That’s why it didn’t show up until now. I’m happy to help you check around Ponyville though, if you want to be certain.” Twilight nodded in agreement.

“Alright then, I’ll send a letter to Celestia now, Time Turner can help me tomorrow, and you two,” she gestured to AJ and I. “Can relax for the night.” With everything sorted, the two of us began to walk back to the farm.

The two of us didn’t really say much to each other as we headed out of town. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence at all. It was more that we had both just had a lot of things happen in a very short space of time. For me, I’d been sent back in time and murdered a changeling to satisfy my own personal demons. For Applejack, her coltfriend had stepped out for ten minutes with her little sister to take a clock to the mender’s and come back claiming that they’d nearly been killed by an alien statue.

I’ll be honest, when I woke up this morning, I didn’t see any of this coming. At worst I figured there’d be a little bit of awkwardness between Time Turner and Apple Bloom; since he seems to fear her more than anything else due to her sales technique.

Anyway, we trotted side by side out of town, each feeling a little lost in our own thoughts. I could tell from the expression on her face, that AJ was still quite worried. After all, weird things happening in Ponyville tend to go south real fast, see the return of Nightmare Moon, see the second coming of Discord, see Trixie, see Cutie Pox. Need I go on? As for me, I was still wrestling with my emotions. This eventually compelled me to speak up.

“Ya never asked me what actually happened when that statue caught me,” I commented. Applejack turned to me, smiling slightly.

“Ah figured that whatever it was had scared ya somethin’ bad, Bones. Y’all have been pale as a shadow pony since ya got back. And Ah know from experience that ponies need a bit of time before they start yappin’ ‘bout somethin’ like that.” I scratched the back of my neck.

“Do ya mind if Ah tell ya ‘bout it?” She shook her head. “AJ, that thing set me back to Twilight’s brother’s weddin’. But before everythin’ went bad. Ah caught that no good Chrysalis before she had a chance to do anythin’, and, Ah stoped her,” I paused for a moment.

“It’s okay, Sugarcube,” Applejack said encouragingly.

“Well, ya know how I feel ‘bout changelings.” She nodded. “But one of ‘em is also a good friend to me. An’, it was only when Ah managed to get back, Ah realised just how mean spirited Ah was bein’. It’s like, ya know how a lot of the folks in Canterlot are a mite, uppity bout havin’ non-unicorns around? Well, Ah was like that with changelings only a dozen times worse. Ah just feel like such a dang hypocrite. An’ what’s worse, Ah thought that way ‘bout ‘em even before Ah came here. As soon as Ah saw Strong Shield, all Ah saw was a changeling, not my friend. An’ Ah can’t help but feel like, well, like a villain for bein’ like that. Like Ah don’t deserve what Ah have.” As I finished, I hung my head in shame. Applejack stopped where she was, and walked in front of me.

“Blade Star, look at me,” she said, for once calling me by my name. I looked up. “Ah’ve known ya for the better part of a year now. An’ in all that time, all Ah’ve ever seen is a pony who works hard, is honest an’ generally, good. Now Ah understand why ya might be feelin’ so down, but answer me this. If y’all are so bad for thinkin’ that way, how come ya realised what it really was and stopped it?” She sat down on her haunches and placed a hoof on my shoulder. “Sugarcube, the pony ya just told me ‘bout wouldn’t just admit he was wrong to think what he did; he’d be stubborn and push everypony else away. As long as ya don’t do that, Ah reckon y’all are gonna be okay.” I found my smile returning in the growing moonlight.

“Thanks, Applejack,” I said quietly. The two of us paused to nuzzle at each other for a moment before AJ broke away. The rest of the journey was spent chatting more easily to each other. I still wasn’t completely comfortable, but I felt somewhat better, knowing that somepony had faith in me as a decent stallion.

We soon arrived back at the house, lit up as usual. Entering through the kitchen, we found Granny Smith coming down the stairs to meet us. She looked a little agitated.

“Well it’s ‘bout time you two young’uns got back,” she complained. “AB’s still mighty scared, poor little thing just won’t settle. Big Macintosh is up there right this minute tryin’ to get the poor sweet thing to bed.” At this moment, Big Mac trotted down the stairs looking equally worried about his little sister. Big Mac may be protective of AJ, but Celestia help the poor stallion who tries to get near Apple Bloom.

“Did ya have any luck, Big Macintosh?” she asked. He promptly shook his head.

“Nnope,” he declared, concern clear in his voice. He sighed deeply.

“How ‘bouts Ah go an’ talk to her, AJ?” Applejack nodded in agreement, and so I trotted off up the stairs.

Apple Bloom’s room was just up the way from my own. I was opposite Applejack, and she was opposite Big Macintosh, with Granny Smith’s room being at the end of the hall. The door was slightly ajar when I got up there, and from within, I could hear the pitiful sound of her whimpering tearfully. And if there is one thing I simply will not stand for, it is to see a little girl cry.

“Hey there, little lady,” I said comfortingly as I walked into her room. Apple Bloom was curled up on her bed. She hadn’t shown even a hint of being scared at the time, but I guess, like me, the adrenaline had worn off. Even for a grown stallion, to encounter a weeping angel and then try to get a good night’s sleep was no easy task. As I spoke, she promptly looked up at me. “Big Mac and me are kinda worried ‘bout ya, ya know.” I sat down next to her on her bed and hugged her, just as Mac had most likely done.

“Blade Star, Ah’m really scared,” she whimpered. “Ah just can’t get that pegasus thing outta my head.” I stroked her mane comfortingly.

“Now, now, Apple Bloom, ya saw what happened; it’s in bits and last Ah saw, Twilight had it safe at the library; it can’t hurt ya none.” Apple Bloom nodded uncertainly.

“Ah know, and Ah keep tryin’ to tell myself that. But Ah just can’t shake the feelin’ that it’s still there, watchin’ me. An’ Ah just keep thinking ‘bout all those other monsters that are out there.” How many parents had had this happen to them I wonder? I know I’d gone through this phase, so had Lizzie. Apple Bloom was usually a pretty mature little filly, but the angel had clearly really rattled her, prompting her to fall back on old childhood fears.

As I sat there comforting her, I looked out of the window. It was completely dark now, but it was also a clear night. I remembered fondly what my parents used to do when I got scared.

“Hang on, AB; Ah’ll just be a minute,” I said reassuringly. As I left, I made sure to keep the door to her room open so she could have some light while she was alone.

I headed back downstairs to the rest of the Apple family. We were all quite worried about Apple Bloom, but at least now I had an idea. Unfortunately, executing that idea would be a delicate operation and involve borrowing something of Big Mac’s. As soon as I got back to the kitchen I took him to one side.

“Big Macintosh, can Ah talk with ya for a minute?” I asked quietly. He nodded calmly and followed me out in to the hallway. As soon as I turned around to talk, he expressed his concerns to me.

“How’s little sis doin’, Bones? Ah’ve been tryin’ to get her settled but she’s right spooked.”

“She’s just shook up is all, Mac. Ah figure if we can get her to bed tonight, it’ll pass eventually. She just needs somepony with her to keep her company. Ah hate to ask ya this; but Ah need to borrow your Smarty Pants doll.” Big Mac snorted in surprise and the faintest blush could be seen under his coat.

“Ah, erm, Ah don’t know what ya mean there, Bones,” he replied anxiously. “Ah don’t know nothin’ bout no doll; and Ah certainly didn’t take one home with me when Ms. Twilight enchanted it and tried to give it to AB an’ her friends.” I raised an eyebrow at that.

“Big Macintosh, y’all are ‘bout as bad a liar as your little sister,” I countered. “Don’t worry, ah won’t tell nopony ‘bout it. Pinkie Promise.” I made the necessary motions, managing not to poke my eye out.

For a few moments, Big Mac seemed unsure, torn between helping his little sister feel better and sleep easier, and protecting his own dignity from possible humiliation. But, being the kind, caring stallion that he is, he eventually came to the only conclusion I could foresee.

“Fine, Ah’ll go get her,” he said at length before trotting off upstairs. “But this stays between us, Bones, ya hear?”

“Mac, Ah Pinkie Promised already, what more can Ah do?” I replied reassuringly.

He returned a moment later carrying the doll gently in his teeth. I quickly took it in my magic and, thanking him again, headed back up to Apple Bloom.

“Hey, ya still awake, AB?” I called softly as I entered. She was indeed still up, sitting upright in her bed. “Here, Ah got somepony here to keep ya company tonight.” I settled the doll next to her in bed and put it in her hooves. She looked a little perplexed.

“Hang on, ain’t this that doll Twilight ‘accidentally’ enchanted and made half of Ponyville go haywire?” she asked. “How d’ya get it anyway?” I quickly formed a white lie to spare Big Mac, and honour my Pinkie Promise.

“Oh, Ah remembered seein’ it back on Earth, so I just teleported over to the library and asked Twilight if ya could borrow it.” For a moment, I feared the ever inquisitive filly might press me further, but instead, perhaps due to the lateness of the hour, she simply hugged the doll and began to settle.

I stayed with her a little while as she drifted off, now much more relaxed and calm, particularly as, at the moment, due to the position of the moon, her bed was bathed in moonlight. Luna would be watching over her tonight. I eventually ended up having to tell her a story to send her off to sleep. But eventually, my patience was rewarded with the sound of soft snoring.

With Apple Bloom safely off to the land of nod, I headed back downstairs to see the rest of the Apples’. They were mainly glad that AB had settled down. After all, we all were quite worried about her. If I got the chance tonight, I would ask Luna to keep an eye on her dreams. Since it was getting on, it was well past Granny Smith’s bedtime, we all decided to turn in as well. I too was getting especially tired, considering that due to the time difference, I had been up about five or six hours longer than anypony else.

Hopefully, I would get a pleasant night of rest and a less eventful day tomorrow.

Interlude 14 - An Evening Soiree

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Well, tonight was the night. What had initially started out as simply inviting Milano round to the house for dinner had turned into something of a party. I had thrown the odd get together back home, so I didn’t see any reason why we couldn’t. Plus, it was a good opportunity to get to know everypony in town a little better. I mean, I knew a fair few ponies from the market and a few from school, but it never hurts to keep up relations. So, after asking Milano if she was alright with it, I began to steadily plan my first evening do in Equestria.

My husband, initially, was not on board with the idea. Like my son, he can at times be a little asocial. But with a little bit of nagging, he eventually came round to the idea, either because he came to like the idea of having a party (I suggested he invite a few friends from work too), or because he knew it was pointless to argue with me once I’ve set my mind on something.

It wouldn’t be something over the top, more along the lines of a pleasant evening with friends; you know the drill, snacks, music, socialising; the sort of party that younger generations don’t seem to comprehend. Although, to be fair, there probably would be a bit of hard cider flowing too.

So, my first obvious step was to start planning everything and gathering up the supplies that would be needed. As I said, it was going to be a pleasant little evening do with dinner at the end; something I’ve done on occasion before. However, I do always like to defer to the experts. And since Pinkie Pie would also be the one helping me with supplies and party paraphernalia, my first stop had naturally been Sugarcube Corner.

Pinkie Pie is a…strange pony, to say the least. Were she a human back on Earth, they would undoubtedly have put her on a variety of medications, put her in special schools, and generally done all they could to make her life intolerable. Luckily, we are in Equestria, and whilst she is still looked upon as a little odd, it cannot be denied that more often than not, there is a form of logic and rationality behind her actions. Plus, the kids like her.

Throughout Ponyville, she is recognised as being an excellent party planner. Twilight is skilled in organising events, but Pinkie excels at organising parties. Whilst her forte may be planning parties that are a little more, shall we say juvenile, than what I had in mind, I had every confidence she would take to the job like a duck to water.

I dropped by the shop that was both Pinkie’s home and place of work. It’s a brilliant arrangement she has with the Cakes’; she gets a paying job, full room and board and side work as a babysitter. I found Mrs. Cake behind the counter as usual; I figured that Pinkie would be in the kitchen towards to back of the shop.

“Morning, dearie,” Mrs. Cake greeted as I walked up to the counter. I figured since I was here, I might as well indulge a guilty pleasure and grab something sweet.

“Morning, Mrs. Cake, can I get a couple of those jam tarts to go, please?” The mare nodded and quickly began to bag up a couple of the treats; I’ve loved those things since I was a child.

“There we go,” she said as she passed me the small paper bag. “Anything else for you?” I shook my head.

“Not today, have to watch my weight after all,” I replied jokingly. “Is Pinkie Pie around though? I wanted to ask her to do me a favour.” Mrs. Cake turned around to face the doorway that led into the kitchen.

“Pinkie, can you come out here a minute?” she called. For once, Pinkie did not materialise right beside me, a truly terrifying habit she possesses. Instead, she trotted out through the small saloon doors that separated the kitchen. Much to my surprise though, rather than being pink, her coat seemed to be an odd shade of white. She greeted me enthusiastically as soon as she saw me.

“Hey, Margaret,” she said in her usual peppy tone. She even added a little wave.

“Pinkie, what on earth happened to you?” I exclaimed. “What’s happened to your coat?”

“Oh, no biggie; it’s just flour,” she said, explaining the issue away. Luckily, Mrs. Cake explained.

“I don’t know why, but for some reason, the foals like it when Pinkie dumps flour on herself.” Well, I guess if it’s stupid but it works. I turned back to Pinkie, who was now once again pink, despite not having moved an inch and me having taken my eyes off her for mere moments.

“Pinkie, Roger and I were planning to have a little party sometime this week for a few friends here in Ponyville. I was wondering if you’d be free to help me sort out a few things.” Instantly, I felt my left arm seized in an iron grip and I was pulled bodily out of the shop, barely having time to throw the bits I owed on the counter. Once outside, I found myself released, and Pinkie hopped around me excitedly.

“Oh, this is going to be so much fun. We’ll need balloons, streamers, cake, rocking music…” Having seen the technique employed by the majority of townsfolk, I promptly covered Pinkie’s mouth in an effort to stop her verbal tirade.

“Pinkie,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm, lest I provoke another outburst. “I’m not looking for that kind of party. I wanted to do something more along the lines of a dinner party. Okay?” I removed my hand to allow her to speak. The expression on her face could be described as mildly offended.

“Well duh!” she said. “I know that. I was planning my party planning party for later,” she explained. See what I mean, logical explanation. “No you’re gonna need a few more things. I figure you’ve got some music ready to go. But I can help out with the catering if you want, and maybe a few decorations. After all, you’re gonna want some colour for a party, maybe some paper hats even. C’mon, come upstairs to my office and we can work out a few of the details.” I was promptly grabbed again and hauled up the stairs to Pinkie’s room, which now had a professional looking desk in the middle of it. Adding to my confusion even more, was the fact that Pinkie was now wearing a full three piece suit. She settled herself down behind the desk and gestured for me to take a seat opposite.

“Now Mrs. Owen,” she began. “I’m told you are looking to plan an evening dinner party.”

The two of us then spend the next forty five minutes ironing out the details of the party. What needed to be purchased, what could be loaned, what I already had available to use, and so on. Pinkie frequently chipped in with suggestions, or rather Ms. Pie as she called herself, did.

By the time we were finished, everything had been sorted, right down to inviting the various guests along. In the end, there would be a little over a dozen guests over for the evening. We’d begin with a typical sort of get together, music, a couple snack tables, and a general opportunity to socialise. Whilst that was going on Pinkie and Applejack, who also agreed to lend a hand, would be cooking the dinner in the kitchen. Pinkie is an excellent baker, but according to her, Applejack is the better cook overall, particularly when it comes to pies and other pastry dishes. Even more so if they include apples of any variety in the recipe.

As for decorations, Pinkie was happy to provide a few of her more low key articles to do up the living room, hallway and dining room. Nothing over the top, sadly I had to put my foot down on the balloons, but I agreed with having a few streamers hanging from the ceiling.

In addition to the meal and snacks, I also wanted to have a few pre-dinner drinks, of the alcoholic variety. For this, Pinkie suggested that I stop by Berry Punch at the tavern. Whilst it is a bar, Berry has also been known to sell a few bottles of the good stuff for special occasions. I decided that it couldn’t hurt to splash out for a Prench red.

Then there was the music. We had a gramophone back at the house, which would have no problem playing a bit of music to cover up any awkward quiet moments. Plus, following that strange incident on New Year’s, I also had a fair few records of music from back on Earth that would be suited to a party. So in the end, we decided to have a mix of both Equestrian and human music. Who knows, maybe some ponies will start dancing.

The final matter to attend to was the invitations. Now, I have nothing against the Equestrian postal service, nor do I have any issue with our local mailmare, Derpy. However, were somepony to inadvertently not receive an invite, it could land me in some very hot water, a state of affairs I have no desire to be in. So for that reason, it was decided that we would deliver the invitations ourselves. I’d do the ones in Ponyville and my husband could do the ones in Canterlot. Pinkie was also kind enough to give the name of her stationary supplier to purchase some invite cards.

The next day saw me back at the school again happily going over a lesson. The kids were currently practicing their creative writing skills. I’d told them that they could write a short story on anything they chose. I’d then look over them, mark them for corrections and so on. It would help them when the exams rolled around, but it was also a lot of fun.

One of the many good points of working where I am is the relative freedom I have in decision making. Cheerilee is the only other teacher in the school. There is no head, no extra faculty, and no unnecessary bureaucrats. I didn’t have to wade my way through red tape every time I wanted to take the kids out on a field trip or teach something different. Back in the previous school I had taught in, which I later resigned from, you taught to the exams, you didn’t really teach knowledge, you taught them how to pass exams. If you wanted to do anything that deviated slightly from the curriculum, a meeting had to be held to get permission, and there would always be a couple health and safety freaks there to shoot your idea down. Here on the other hand, I had both the trust of Cheerilee and the parents to teach their children properly. It was just nice.

The kids were working away steadily on their stories. I let them swap ideas, but told them not to just started chatting like it was recess. Just to be sure, I’d occasionally ask one of them how they were doing and to summarise what they’d written so far. I did this every now and again to keep them on their toes, or hoof tips I suppose is more accurate.

Whilst they were working away, I too was writing. I’d bought around two dozen invitations yesterday after leaving Sugarcube Corner. I’d given half to my husband to invite some of his friends from work, and kept half myself. I’d already given Cheerilee and Milano theirs and now I was steadily working my way through other ponies who I thought might enjoy the evening. Twilight and her friends were on there of course, along with a few parents. This party was shaping up to be quite a busy night.

For once, I had not needed to fill in for the UN peacekeepers today; Diamond Tiara had perhaps finally gotten the message that I won’t tolerate her bullying. The stupid thing is, she seems to go after everypony. At first I thought it was just some kind of vendetta against Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, but having worked here full time for quite a while now, I can see she does it to everypony. It’s as if she and Silver Spoon form their own clique and look down on absolutely everypony in the school.

And the strangest thing is her father, whilst being a bit of a tosser if you want my opinion, is not all that bad. Sure he spoils the filly rotten, but I can’t see where all her vindictiveness, manipulation and other sociopathic tendencies come from. On the rare occasions in the past where she tried to kick up a fuss over me, he often smoothed things over. In any case, today she had decided to keep her mouth shut and was working quietly. It was actually Sweetie Belle who broke the silence. She’d been collaborating with the Crusaders and had evidently spotted me doing something that wasn’t school related.

“Hey, Mrs Owen, what’s that you’re working on?” she asked, pausing in her own work.

Another thing I like to do when teaching, is treat the kids as equals. It’s a fine line to walk, but if you can keep order and still get them to like you, you’re doing something right. Whereas many teachers would simply tell the kids to mind their own business and get back to work, I don’t mind answering their questions.

“I’m just working on a few invitations for a party my husband and I are throwing in a day or two,” I replied. “I’m just finishing up one for your older sister actually.” This sort of party would be Rarity’s natural environment; it would be cruel to not invite her, Filthy Rich on the other hand…

The day continued in a pretty much uneventful fashion, the kids behaved themselves for the most part and got their work done and both the Crusaders and Diamond Tiara avoided each other and trouble. On the one hand, I was glad of this. However, kids like Diamond don’t change their ways overnight, I fear she may be planning something. At any rate, half three rolled around and the youngsters once again regained their liberty. Tomorrow night, the party would begin.

It was around half past seven in the evening when the first of the guests arrived. First up was Milano herself. She’d managed to get Button’s older brother to keep an eye on him for the night, so hopefully her home would still be intact upon her return. My husband took her coat, introduced himself and generally followed the script he always does at these kinds of functions. I can definitely see where my son gets his introvert tendencies from; at times he can be such a wallflower.

Everything was already set up when Milano arrived, so the three of us headed into the living room to grab some drinks and chat amongst ourselves until some of the other guests showed up. My husband seemed to warm up to Milano quite quickly as well which I was grateful for. About five minutes later the doorbell rang again. This time it was Cheerilee; I couldn’t go and throw a nice little party and not invite my co-worker now could I? She and Milano knew each other quite well already, presumably from the various times she’s attended the parent’s evenings and other school functions.

After that, Twilight and her friends arrived in a sort of gaggle, having met up at Twilight’s place beforehand. They were all a pleasure to talk to as always. Pinkie immediately went into full blown party mode and promptly helped herself to the snack table. Luckily Twilight was there to stop her from gorging herself. Rarity took to things very easily, as I would expect, she has always struck me as a bit of a socialite. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were not as quite at home as she was but nevertheless were content to make conversation and chat. Fluttershy meanwhile quickly plastered herself to the wall and nursed a small glass of non-alcoholic cider. Luckily though, Rainbow swooped in and got her talking. I think she just finds it hard to break the ice. Once that’s done she’s just as social as anypony and from what I understand, a year or two ago, she wouldn’t have even contemplated coming to an evening soirée, so she’s come a long way.

Anyway, by the first half hour, things were in full swing. Music was playing, ponies were laughing and chatting and good food and drink was to be had. All that was needed to complete things were Roger’s guests to arrive. I wandered my way over to him to ask where they were, thirty minutes was a little late. I found him chatting with Roseluck.

“Sweetheart, when do you think your mob will be here?” I enquired over the music. He turned, briefly kissing me before replying.

“Don’t worry, they’ll be here. Evening shift only finished a little while ago. They’ve all got to change and catch a ride down here.” I figured most of his friends would be guards. Still, nothing wrong with a few single, unattached soldiers wandering about. As luck would have it, at that moment, the doorbell went. My husband set his drink down. “That’ll be them now.”

We both made our way to the front door; the party was pretty much confined to the living room, and the dining room on the opposite side. Pinkie suggested it so ponies would have someplace to go if things got too hectic and they wanted to get some air. Even though winter was gone, the nights could still be a little chilly.

My husband threw open the front door to our guests. I was expecting guards, but then, most of them utilise enchantments in their armour to alter their appearance. So instead of four or five white haired, blue maned ponies, I had an unusual collection. The first was a pegasus, his coat was a rather dark blue colour, in the fading light it could almost be mistaken for black. His mane was quite spikey, in contrast to the typical Mohawk style of guards and was a two tone blue. Next to him was an earth pony, a massive fellow near the size of Big Mac with a caramel coloured coat and a red mane. Then there were two pegasi, both were like mirror images of the other with green coats and matted brown manes. My husband quickly set about introducing us.

“Right darling, these are a few of the guys from work.” He gestured to the pegasus. “This is Harts Fire, he’s one of the door guards, let’s ponies in and out of the court. Bit of a magician too. Show will you, mate?” Harts Fire promptly extended his wings. Much to my surprise, when he pointed the tips upward, small little fireballs shot out from them, before dropping back down. Amazingly he began to juggle these, whistling the whole time. That’s one hell of a party trick I can tell you.

Next the earth pony. “Then this is Buttercup, one of the bailiffs, used to be a guard full time but he took a nasty hit during Shining and Cadance’s wedding.” At this the hulking behemoth grinned.

“Hey, you should see what happened to the other guy though. Never knew till then you could crack an exoskeleton!” My husband finally turned to the two pegasi.

“And these two knuckleheads are Duck and Cover; they pull some of the castle’s chariots, used to be pegasi guards full time,” he turned and grinned jokingly at the pair. “At least until that ‘incident’ with the castle’s outer wall right?” The group laughed and one of the pair piped up, blushing a little at the banter.

“C’mon, it’s really easy to lose your bearings in fog; it’s their fault for building it so damn high!” At that even I had to chuckle a little. It seemed like he’d made a few good friends in Canterlot. But there were two more guests to unveil.

“And of course, you know Discord and Tia.” And with that, I had a teeny tiny mental breakdown.

Standing directly behind his guy friends, was indeed both Discord and Princess Celestia herself. Now, Discord, I could just about handle, he and my husband are friends, sort of. However, to have the ruler of the nation appear on your doorstep for a party was a bit of a shock. I mean it was hardly suited for a princess now was it?

“Darling, can I talk to you for a second?” I asked, making it obvious that I wanted a word, now. Smiling, he let the five ponies and draconequus in and followed me upstairs to our room. It was there the discussion began.

“What the hell were you thinking inviting a princess?!” I exclaimed. My husband remained unruffled.

“You said bring friends from work, so, friends from work. Besides, you invited Princess Twilight,” he countered.

“That’s different. Twilight just lives here and everypony knows her. Princess Celestia actually rules Equestria! And what about Discord; that guy’s nuts!” I replied. My husband attempted to calm me down.

“I asked Celestia about this when I invited her, she’s promised to use a disguise spell to stay incognito, she does it all the time when she wants to go out in Canterlot. She even has her own cover story perfected; she’s a secretary in the castle called Tia. I asked her to have the disguise only affect the guests; it’s harder for her magic to affect our perception anyway so I told her not to bother.” Well, that sorted at least one problem.

“What about Discord?” I asked. Princess Celestia was naturally not going to cause trouble, but Discord was chaos incarnate, at my party!

“Both Fluttershy and I have asked him to be on his best behaviour; he’s given us both his word.” That seemed sufficient for the both of them, and since he knew Discord better than I did, I elected to trust his judgement. I sighed deeply, letting out the stress that had been building up. I just wanted things to go well.

“Alright, I’m better now. But if anything does go wrong, I’m blaming you,” I warned half seriously. And with that, we headed downstairs.

And so things continued on for the next hour or so, whilst Pinkie, Applejack and I worked in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the dinner. I must say, I’m glad when we got the house, we decided to go for the larger, extendable table. The end result was you got something along the lines of a Christmas dinner with everypony gathered around the table.

I found myself sitting between Milano and ‘Tia’, both were good conversationalists. The princess herself is actually quite a good actress. Of course, I have only spoken with her on a few occasions, so it still took a bit of effort not to stand on ceremony; I’m not as comfortable around her as my husband is. Still, she did her best to keep a relaxed atmosphere and as far as everypony else was concerned, she was just another unicorn. I’m honestly not sure whether or not I should tell Milano at some point that she was telling some of her more, risqué, girls’ stories to a princess of Equestria.

Opposite me was my husband, who had Discord for company. Most of the guys he’d invited had managed to seat themselves next to a mare and Duck and Cover were shamelessly trying to hit on Cheerilee, only for Big Mac, who had accompanied Applejack, to sternly see them off. Speaking of, they seem to be going fairly steady now those two. Perhaps seeing his little sister in a relationship has spurred Big Mac to action.

I think it’s fairly safe to say that a good time was had all round. But, all good things as they say, must come to an end and by about half twelve, ponies were starting to head back to their homes, or at least the ones in Ponyville were. Cheerilee and Milano had left around midnight, as had most of Twilight’s friends, Applejack and Fluttershy had left a little earlier due to the early starts they both had tomorrow, or rather today. Twilight herself left to check on Spike and eventually, the only remaining guests were Discord, my husband’s friends, Pinkie and the princess. Said princess came up to be before she left.

“I really must thank you, Margaret for keeping quiet about everything. It isn’t too often that I get to let my mane down like this. I’m sure if I’d arrived in my real form everything would have ground to a halt. Very kind of Roger to give me this as a late birthday present; a real party.” I nodded politely.

“You are quite welcome…Tia.” The two of us shared a grin. “Anyway, I suppose you are heading back to Canterlot, you’ve got an earlier start than any of us.”

“Yes, my sister will be lowering the moon in a few hours. Still, I’ll be able to get some rest.” And with that she stepped out and vanished in a teleport.

Now, whilst the female attendants had been content to simply natter until they decided to head home after the dinner, the males had instead found their way into the booze. None of them were actually drunk, I’m not even sure if it’s possible for Discord to be drunk, or sober, but they were all quite festive. At this point they’d broken out the dart board, but before long I feared the inevitable would happen; he’d start singing.

Fun fact; when you give my husband enough alcohol, including hard cider, he has a tendency to burst out into song. Tonight, undoubtedly, would be no different. And low and behold, he started; even worse, it seemed his guard buddies had been taught the words.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVK_JTmiGaY

Eventually though, even they managed to calm down as the lateness of the hour became apparent. That and by two in the morning I was chasing out the four foot tall ponies with a broom. With the guests gone, the two of us did a few necessary cleaning jobs, and then promptly went to bed. It would all still be there in the morning after all.

All in all, I think I consider my first party in Equestria a success.

Chapter 73 - Research

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It was about a week after our encounter with what I now refer to as the ‘Weeping Pegasus’. Everything had pretty much gotten back to normal, or at least as normal as things can be by Ponyville standards. Apple Bloom had had the occasional bad dream, though luckily, as usual, Luna was on hoof to help her out. A good thing too, after all whatever holds the image of an angel becomes an angel. A fate I did not wish to see Apple Bloom undergo.

Applejack and I also had our second date, a spectacular milestone by my standards. This time it was a less over the top affair; the two of us spent the day in Ponyville park, along with Winona, just generally having a pleasant day out, before later heading to the small little café in town for a quiet dinner, which resulted in a bit of a ‘Lady and the Tramp’ moment. The only real issue we had that day was the occasional teasing from Rainbow as she passed us every now and again with Lizzie on patrol.

And speaking of my little sister; she is now working as a reservist member of the local weather team. At the moment, Rainbow has her learning the ropes, putting her out on most days to do some of the lower level jobs, occasionally pitching in to help with large weather patterns when Thunderlane develops yet another case of ‘Feather Flu’. Still, she seems a fair bit happier now she’s earning, maybe it makes her feel more grown up?

Mum meanwhile had been going steady at the school, stepping in quite frequently to teach classes. I honestly don’t know how poor Cheerilee coped before she had somepony else to call on. Plus, it has given her a few more chances to have time for herself, it must’ve been at least four or five times now I’ve seen Big Mac trying to stealthily sneak his way off the farm. The two of them had a sort of date at Mum’s little party she threw a couple days ago.

As for Dad, well, he got a front row seat for Princess Celestia’s birthday celebration recently, a ceremony I sadly missed out on. He’s been keeping himself busy looking over legal cases in Canterlot whenever they happen to crop up, though recently, Princess Celestia seems to have put him in a more general position of advisor on occasion.

Anyway, today, I was heading into town. It was getting on for mid-afternoon. All of us had been kept busy since the day began. Big Mac had spotted a swarm of parasprites from the Everfree, hovering dangerous close to the orchards. We’ve all seen what those infernal spawn of Tartarus can do unchecked. So we quickly found ourselves having to prepare ourselves for a possible swarm. We knew if push came to shove, we wouldn’t be able to protect the entire farm, but luckily, Pinkie was around to lend us a hoof. How she got to that neck of the woods I have no idea. But there she was, in her full one man band outfit and the varmints followed her away, allowing us to all breathe a sigh of relief.

I was heading for the library to see Twilight, a few things had come up over the course of my recent studies and I wanted to see if she could answer one or two questions. She’d had me studying several texts by Starswirl the Bearded, arguably one of the greatest practitioners of his day. However, some of the theories he had put forward clashed with my current understanding of magic.

The library had its front door partially open when I got there, not an unusual occurrence, particularly as the weather was starting to warm up, getting back into the milder temperatures. Twilight also did it as a way of enticing ponies to investigate and consequently make use of the library facilities, something that not a large number of ponies regularly did. As I trotted up to the front door, I adjusted the sabre, which was hitched onto the belt I was wearing. In addition to my lesson related questions, I wanted to do a little bit of research on the sword Luna had kindly gifted to me. Perhaps I could even discover the officer who once wielded it.

However, when I walked into the library, I found myself confronted with an unusual situation. Up towards the back wall, Twilight was standing by nervously, concern clear on her features. To my left, on one of the bookcases, was Spike, now plastered against the bookcase and restrained by an all too familiar green gunk. And between me and them, its’ horn still glowing from use, was a changeling.

Now, I may have resolved to put my blind hatred of the changeling species, and the personal motto ‘the only good bug is a dead bug.’ behind me, but that doesn’t mean I have a problem with putting one down if the occasion calls for it. I quickly charged my own horn with a stun spell, falling back into the lessons of Strong Shield.

“Alright, reach for it, pilgrim,” I warned, loudly announcing my presence. With its back to me, the changeling was not in a position to retaliate, and I hoped it might surrender. In actuality though, it did something rather odd. Turning around, it regarded me curiously.

“You know it’s not exactly a good idea to expose yourself like that, Rookie,” it said in its buzzing, yet familiar voice. A moment later, green flames washed over its form and it was replaced by a familiar blue coated unicorn, with one eye. I promptly stood down.

“Oh, er, sorry, Captain,” I replied sheepishly. “Didn’t realise it was you.” I gestured to the still beleaguered Spike. “What the hay are ya doin’ anyway? Why’s Spike pinned to the wall?” At this point Twilight stepped in.

“Blade Star, you really should learn to relax; not everything’s a fight you know. Yeesh, you’re worse than Shining. I asked Strong Shield to come down here so I could do some research on changelings as a species; we still don’t know that much about them. He agreed to demonstrate and explain some of his abilities. We were just studying the effects of this resin.”

Having heard her full explanation, I now felt like a damn fool. Perhaps I had let my still relatively recent encounter with Chrysalis go to my head. In any case, it seemed a there was no harm, no foul. In an effort to misdirect attention from my stupidity, I offered to chip in to help with the tests and analysis.

At Twilight’s request, Strong Shield removed the resin coating Spike, allowing him to drop to the floor. The process seemed to have affecting his sense of balance somewhat and he seemed dazed for a moment.

“Spike, are you okay? What happened?” Twilight asked inquisitively.

“He slimed me, Twilight. What do you think?” he responded, with perhaps a hint of sarcasm. Of course, well into her intellectual stride, the alicorn princess paid no heed to this.

“Wow, that’s great; actual physical contact! Can you move?” she asked excitedly. Spike responded by getting unsteadily back on his feet, though his sense of balance still seemed a little off. The drake put a claw to his head.

“Ooh, I feel so funky,” he complained, whilst Strong Shield merely grinned at his plight. Twilight quickly swooped in with a swab and began to take samples of the resin which were still stuck to Spike. The poor fellow would need a good long bath to get that stuff off. It had the viscosity of syrup. Twilight continued.

“Alright, that’s the experiments all sorted for the resin changelings produce. Now we need to examine how changelings feed as a species.”

“Erm, Twilight, we know that. They feed on love and turn the emotion into energy for their magical abilities as well as keeping themselves alive. We saw that with Shining,” I commented.

“We only know the basics, Blade Star,” she countered. “Very little is known about how the process occurs, and whether or not it is possible for ponies and changelings to work in symbiosis. If we can make it work, it may be possible for changelings to integrate more freely into pony society.” This raised an important question.

“Say, Captain, how have ya been keeping yourself fed anyway?” I enquired. Strong Shield looked away uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck with a hoof. Twilight also turned to await his response.

“Oh right, that,” he said awkwardly. “I may have been feeding off citizens in Canterlot from time to time. Not often, just enough to keep me going. It’s all approved by the princesses.” I can’t say I wholly approved of that.

“Then this experiment is even more important!” Twilight declared proudly. “If we can understand how your species consumes and stores emotions, we may be able to find an alternate method to keep you, and other changelings fed, without having to feed covertly.” Twilight turned to her long suffering assistant.

“Spike! I need you for another test!” At least she refrained from using the word experiment. It was like watching a big sister put make up on her little brother. Spike had been attempting to sneak away whilst we were busy chatting, but Twilight caught him cold, picked him up in her magic and set him in front of Strong Shield.

“So, you want me to try and feed off this kid, Twilight?” he asked. “Because, right now, I’m getting squat from him.” Spike crossed his arms and huffed irritably. Twilight briefly whispered in his ear, Strong Shield’s eyes going wide for a moment. “You count yourself lucky you’re a princess, Twilight,” he said at length.

Powering up his horn, Strong Shield briefly reverted to his true form. A moment later though, his magic once again engaged. Everything about him changed, his eye patch disappeared, his coat and mane colours changed, and more alarmingly so did his gender. I didn’t even know they could do that. When the magic receded, a perfect copy of Rarity stood before us. Of course, as it was Strong Shield underneath, she looked more than a little uncomfortable.

The result was near instantaneous. Spike’s eyes might as well have become hearts. Even I could sense perhaps the slight traces of love. For Strong Shield, it must have been something along the lines of a full three course dinner. There was no obvious sign that anything was happening. Indeed, had it not been for the various pieces of scientific equipment Twilight had wheeled out, I would have been none the wiser. Spike seemed fine with the situation and didn’t seem to have any ill effects from the process, presumably because Strong Shield was not trying to drain the poor soul completely.

Eventually, the disguise was dropped and the various monitoring devices stopped recording. A moment later, my friend returned. He turned to look Twilight squarely in the eye.

“Princess, as a guard, you can push me out of a chariot, you can march me off a cliff, you can send me off to die on some Celestia forsaken rock. But please, don’t ever ask me to do that again!” he pleaded.

“Oh don’t be so dramatic, Strong Shield,” she replied cheerily. She then turned to examine some of the collected date. “Hmm, well, looking at this, it seems that the emotion isn’t so much extracted as it is absorbed. You weren’t feeding on him aggressively; I suppose then it would produce different results. But at the moment, it looks like you’re capable of absorbing the excess of strong emotions. Something along the lines of how plants perform photosynthesis.

“As for long term storage, I’m not sure yet. How’s your magic faring at the moment, is there a noticeable increase?” In response, Strong Shield flared his horn and easily lifted Twilight into the air, causing her to let out an adorable squeak, before setting her down again. I let out a low whistle.

“Impressive, Captain. But Ah’m guessin’ you’re just usin’ the love and directly turnin’ it into energy. Is there any way ya can just store it, like how a pony stores food?” I asked.

“Well, technically it’s possible,” he replied uneasily. “But only through cocoons. A food source would be held there in a sort of stasis and fed on by several changelings until it…” he let the rest of the statement hang in the air. We certainly couldn’t do that.

“Then Ah guess that you’re stuck feedin’ discretely for the moment. But, there is one idea we haven’t considered.” Twilight looked up from her computer readout.

“What’s that, Blade Star?” she asked curiously.

“What if a changeling could become something along the lines of a familiar?” Both ponies and dragon looked at me as if I’d just announced the sky was green. “Well, we know from Strong Shield, that changelings don’t need that much to survive and live comfortably. What if each changeling could be paired with a certain pony, develop a relationship, and feed off that pony’s love for themselves. They would probably need a pony disguise, but it might be possible to integrate a number of ‘em into Equestria without anypony havin’ to know.

“Ah mean, if Strong Shield here, got himself a marefriend, she’d be in love with him, right? Then she’d always be giving off some love for him to feed on. We’d be in symbiosis with ‘em, just like ya suggested.” Twilight considered the idea.

“Well, that is an interesting idea, Blade Star. But it would still be difficult. Ponies won’t accept changelings overnight, and they can’t just pretend to be ponies forever.” I nodded in agreement, but it was still a possibility for the future, should our two peoples ever reach an understanding.

The last experiment Twilight wanted to do was looking at how long a changeling took to use up its energy, under normal conditions. That is, how long it could theoretically go without feeding again. That though would take several hours according to Strong Shield. Twilight suggested that he take some time to relax and not overly exert himself. After all, being at the head of the recent parade must have taken a great deal out of him, particularly with a perfectionist like Shining Armor watching.

With Twilight’s testing done for the moment, I brought up the subject of the sword, which was still latched onto the belt around my barrel.

“Say, Twilight. Ah was fixin’ to do a bit of research on this old sword Princess Luna gave me for Hearth’s Warmin’; see if Ah can work out who used to own it. Any ideas ‘bout where Ah should start?” I asked.

“Let me take a look, Rookie,” Strong Shield replied. I carefully removed the weapon from its scabbard and laid it out on one of the library’s reading tables. It still looked almost brand new; the blade was sharp and sparkled in the light and the ornate decoration on the hilt and guard looked as if they had been crafted mere days ago. The changeling turned guard examined the weapon carefully.

“Well, I’m not an expert at this sort of thing, but I do recognise the design here. I’d say this belonged to somepony serving in the Moon Shadows, today they make up a large part of No. 4 Guards in the Royal Guard. Back in their day, they were the pride of the Lunar Guard; the last regiment to be routed and forced to surrender after the end of the rebellion. I’d imagine that’s how we came to get our hooves on it. Most weapons from the war that survive are from Celestia’s troops, most of the Lunar Guard who survived the war fled and their descendants didn’t return until Princess Luna did.” Nodding, I turned to Twilight.

“Well, that’s a start. D’ya reckon ya have anything on that regiment, Twilight?” the alicorn bookworm thought for a moment.

“I do remember there were a couple of old books from Celestia and Luna’s old castle on their guards. There might be something in one of those.” She turned to her number one assistant. “Spike!” Spike hobbled down from the step ladder he had been using to file away returned books.

“Yes, Twilight?” he answered.

“Can you fetch a couple of those books we took from the old castle? Look for anything with the Mare in the Moon emblem on it.” Spike nodded and briefly disappeared into the basement. Twilight meanwhile went to gather a few of the tomes she would be using for the lecture I had with her today. This left Strong Shield and me to talk.

“I’m sure as hay surprised that the princess gave you one of those, Rookie. It’s gotta be worth at least a few thousand bits.” I shook my head.

“Ain’t no way Ah’d ever sell this, Captain,” I replied proudly. Strong Shield grinned.

“Do you even know how to use that thing?” he asked, gesturing to the sword. I nodded.

“Sure,” I replied, indicating the sword’s tip. “Pointy end goes into the other guy.” The sound of Strong Shield’s facehoof was probably heard in the Crystal Empire. Admittedly, I, like most, had little experience in sword fighting, aside from maybe watching a few Star Wars movies.

“If you’re gonna own that thing, you may as well learn how to use it,” he said finally. “Or at least know enough so you don’t look like a complete idiot when you get gutted like a fish. C’mon, I’ll teach you how to block and counter at least.” He promptly went to the kitchen and began to rummage around in some of the drawers.

“Erm, Captain? Y’all don’t even have a weapon on ya. How the hay are ya gonna teach me anythin’ bout sword fightin’?” My question was answered when he returned, a dessert spoon of all things, held in his magical grip.

“Alright, Rookie. Attack.”

Whist I may not have that much in the way of experience in sword fighting, my opponent was only armed with a desert spoon. I on the other hand wielded a sabre of the Lunar Guard. I fell back on the maxim of a certain TV show; ‘how hard can it be?’. I promptly lunged forward in an attempt to touch my opponent in the chest, the general point of the exercise. However, to my amazement, Strong Shield not only successfully blocked and parried my attack, he also countered. In the space of a few seconds, not only had my own weapon been knocked out of my magical grasp, but opponent had also managed to get a touch on my neck. I looked down to the dining implement currently pressed against my neck. Strong Shield merely grinned.

“This is gonna take a lot of work,” he said, to add insult to injury.

And so, over the next fifteen minutes, whilst Twilight busied herself around the library, selecting books for our latest lesson, and Spike attempted to remove the remaining resin from his scales, we practiced. Still using nothing but a desert spoon, Strong Shield first showed me how to properly attack; particularly the danger of simply lunging at your opponent. This also tied into one of the most important lessons for a swordspony; never attack in anger. After that, he taught me how to fight defensively. Only the basics of course, he had spent years cultivating his craft, there was only so much he could impart in the time we had.

He did however, teach me a few simple countering moves; ways to keep your opponent away from you and off balance. He taught me the basics of parrying as well as some counters; blocking, deflecting and then making your own attack. I might have had a bit of an Assassin’s Creed moment whilst we were practicing to be honest.

Eventually, we broke off, as Twilight had finished compiling the various texts she needed. I had worked up a bit of a sweat and learnt a few things as well. Like Strong Shield said, I wasn’t a sword fighter, but at least I wouldn’t look like a complete fool. I replaced the sword in its scabbard for safe keeping.

“Not bad, Rookie. Not bad at all,” Strong Shield congratulated me. “I mean, Celestia help you if you have to fight somepony with an actual sword or spear, but you can at least fend off attacks by spoon.” He laughed heartily. “That certainly is one damn fine weapon you got there.” He picked it up in his magic for a moment. “Well balanced, lightweight, and sharp as a razor. Certainly wouldn’t want to fight a professional using this.”

“Thanks, Captain,” I replied kindly. This old guard had shown me many a kindness since he had met me, and taught me a great deal too. I could see why Celestia had him as the senior instructor in Canterlot. “Say, y’all are stickin’ round here for the day ain’t ya?” He nodded. “Well, why don’t ya drop by the farm later on, get some grub in ya, an’ we can do a bit of target practice?” Strong Shield thought for a moment.

“I don’t see why not. Just as long as I don’t ‘overly exert’ myself. Twilight will have my head if I mess up her tests,” he replied. “Anyway, I’d better get gone; looks like you’ve got some schoolwork to do, Rookie.”

Strong Shield quietly departed as Twilight set at least half a dozen different, large tomes on the table in front of me.

“Okay, Blade Star. Spike is getting those books on Luna’s guards for you. So for now, we can make a start on theoretical magic in the Renaissance era.” To be fair, at least it was an interesting subject. But still, going through six massive tomes to learn it all was not my idea of fun.

After what seemed an interminable amount of time, Twilight completed her lecture and subsequent pop quiz that went with it. I shouldn’t complain really; in a way, I’m getting the same chance she had, one on one lessons from a princess and she does have a good teaching style. Still, I was anxious to catch up with Strong Shield again. Whilst I knew Shining Armor relatively well, Strong Shield was a much closer friend, maybe because he was a little further down on the pecking order or maybe because I saw him as something of a role model to be emulated. Or maybe he was less of a workaholic than Shining.

In any case, a short walk across town took me to the tavern once again. Much to my surprise, when I entered, I found the Equestrian equivalent of a drill sergeant, happily playing with Pinchy, Berry Punch’s daughter, who was sitting on the bar while her mother worked. Honestly, if he really wanted to, he could have quite a few mares; he’s a good, honest guy, good with kids, neither too strict nor too lenient. Still, his reasons are obvious, at the moment; no mare would want to be paired with an exiled changeling, plus he can be unsettling when he has a flashback. Hopefully, one day, things would be different, the guy deserved somepony.

I settled myself down next to him and ordered a cider. We chatted for a while, just about random stuff really. Eventually, the conversation turned to his career.

“Alright, Captain, lemme ask ya this; in your many years as a Royal Guard, how many stallions have ya shot?” If Strong Shield was known for one thing, it was that his aim was second to none, and that he frequently made use of his skill. Grinning, he replied to my question with one of his own.

“Shot, or killed?” I returned his infectious grin.

“Let us restrict it to killed so we may have a manageable figure.” A little while later, the two of us headed back towards Sweet Apple Acres.

Twilight had asked the subject of her latest experiment to return to the library at exactly six o’clock in the evening. And knowing Twilight, that meant exactly six o’clock, a moment later and she would probably have one of her breakdowns. Still, it was only five when we finished up dinner. The disguised changeling had taken well to the Apple family, getting on unusually well with Big Mac, who tends to keep his distance until you get to know him better. His eye patch and the story behind it, also garnered him some interest from Apple Bloom. Granny Smith meanwhile, was just happy to have a guest at the table, not something we often get, I must confess.

After dinner, with an hour or so to go, the two of us decided to pass some of the time practicing on the small firing range I had set up outside. Big Mac and I worked hard on that and I like to think it shows. You have targets at various distances and most of them can be made to pop up and down too.

“How ‘bout we make this a bit more interestin’?” I asked Strong Shield as the last of the set dropped down. Strong Shield raised an eyebrow at me.

“How much you want to lose, Rookie? Ten bits? Twenty?” he replied. In response, I put a small sack of bits on the table that sat between us.

“Down the way, there’s a couple of tin cans Mac an’ me set up. We each aim for one can. When ya hit it, it’ll shoot up in the air. As long as ya keep hittin’ it it’ll stay there. Winner’s whoever keeps their can in the air the longest.” After thinking for a moment, Strong Shield agreed and we began.

Strong Shield is, as I have already said, a crack shot. However, I had been practicing on and off for several months, and my aim and general ability now wasn’t half bad. Thus, we both held out for a fair while, with each can continuing to bounce over and over. Eventually though, youth trumped experience, which actually did surprise me, and Strong Shield’s can hit the ground with a clang.

“Ya missed your shot there, Captain,” I said, perhaps a little smugly.

“Yeah, yeah, Rookie,” he replied, trying to play it down. “You won, now let it go.”

“Ah thought ya was gonna say the sun was in your eyes. That is to say, your eye.” This made little Apple Bloom, who had been sitting behind us, watching the contest, burst out laughing. Strong Shield merely took the joke in his stride, and with my bits regained, he headed back to Twilight’s.

Chapter 74 - Firewood

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Monday had rolled around yet again, and with it, the beginning of a new week. Summer was quickly nearing and soon, once again, we’d be out in the fields, working as hard as we could in the burning midday sun. On the other hand, the increasingly clearer skies would improve my opportunities to stargaze, even if the nights themselves were shorter than the norm. Still, to be fair, Luna and the night had had their share of time, all things had to be balanced.

In a few more months, and we would be celebrating an entire year since our arrival in Equestria. Even now it seems so long ago, every day Earth becomes a more and more distant and inconsequential memory. I still wonder if I’m right to feel that way, if I ought to attempt to hang on to the memories of my old world that I will never see again. Might it not be better to accept the reality of the present, rather than romanticise or demonise the past?

The start of another week was not a time for deep introspection however. There were far more urgent matters to attend to on the farm. In a couple of weeks, the Apples’ would be having their annual family reunion, where members of the Apple clan from all over Equestria and beyond would descend on the small, little farm where it all began so long ago, when Granny Smith was just a filly.

Personally, neither I, nor any of my family here, have any experience with such events. Most of my family consisted of cousins removed a couple of times, and we usually only ever saw them when one of them kicked the bucket. The few grandparents I had when I was little were all gone now too. Birthdays, Christmas, all were small affairs, just me, Lizzie and our parents. So, the idea of having dozens of ponies descend on the farm had me a little ill at ease.

Putting aside the fact that I prefer smaller, more low key gatherings, there was the matter of my lineage. The reunion is something undertaken by members of the Apple family. Like it or not, I was not family. At least, not by blood. Plus, there was the small matter of the horn protruding from my head. With a household of only five ponies you don’t really notice it. But when you’re the only unicorn at a gathering of dozens of ponies, you can’t help but feel a little alienated. Not that I’d expect any ill feeling from anypony; I’d just fell a little bit of an odd man out.

I mean, Applejack was very close friends with Twilight and the girls, and whilst they helped get a few things set up and ready, they didn’t attend the festivities. Like me, they were not family. There are some things that, no matter how close you are to somepony, you cannot replace; and one of those is being family.

So, I wasn’t exactly sure of what I would do with myself, the reunion only lasted for a day or so, but I would probably have to make myself scarce. I decided that I could at least make myself useful. I figured I could stop by Twilight’s during the day and get some work done, maybe have an extra lesson even. But just in case, I decided to ask Applejack if she wanted anything doing whilst she and the rest of the family were relaxing. It turns out it was lucky I did.

I found Applejack upstairs in her room. She had again been tasked with planning everything out for the reunion. This time of course, she would also have her past experience to draw on, and hopefully wouldn’t try to micromanage everything. When I entered, she was looking through the photo album from last year, evidently reminiscing.

“Hey, Applejack, ya got a minute?” I asked as I stood in the doorway. She set down the album and moved a few bits of paper around. Evidently she was well into planning things.

“Sure, Bones, what’s up?” she replied, smiling. Now, due to my own catastrophically low EQ, I had not seen the obvious and come to the wrong conclusion. Over the years I can’t even guess how many times I’ve done that; misinterpreted a situation so badly. One of the benefits to being in Equestria is to have Applejack around to point out these moments.

“Ah was just wonderin’ what ya want me to do when the reunion rolls ‘round. Ah’m happy to help of course, but Ah understand it’s an ‘Apple’s only’ party. Anythin’ ya want me to do while Ah’m off the farm?” To this day, I can still see the absolutely baffled look on poor AJ’s face. You could see the cogs in her head turning, trying in vain to understand what I had just said.

She slowly eased herself off of her bed and walked over to me. For one long moment she looked me dead in the eye, trying to see if I was just messing with her. Eventually, it dawned on her that I was serious.

“Bones,” she began slowly, still not quite believing her own ears no doubt. “Are ya sayin’ ya don’t want to be at the reunion?” Still toiling in ignorance, I shook my head.

“No, AJ, no. Ah’m not avoidin’ it at all. Ah’m just respectin’ it as an Apple family tradition. And seein’ as Ah ain’t no Apple, Ah figured Ah best politely bow out.” At this point, Applejack’s mind finally began to find traction.

“Blade Star, you’re tellin’ me ya think ya aren’t welcome at the reunion?” she asked, still perplexed. I dumbly nodded my head, the final straw as it turned out. “What in the name of Celestia herself gave ya that idea?!” she exclaimed, her voice climbing through the decibel levels. She was understandably, a little insulted.

“Well, Ah’m not an Apple am I, AJ? None of the girls come by either. Ah just figured it weren’t my place.” Finally seeing my fantastically flawed logic, Applejack facehoofed.

“Bones, listen to me, and listen very carefully,” she said, with a hint of sternness. “Do any of my other friends live here?”

“No,” I replied.

“Have you been livin’ under the same roof as me for nearly a year?”

“Yes.”

“Has anypony ever done anythin’ to suggest ya ain’t a part of this family?”

“No.” Then came the clincher.

“Are ya my coltfriend?”

“Yes.”

“So why in the wide, wide realm of Equestria would Ah not consider ya family?!” she exclaimed, hammering the point home.

And with that, what should have been as clear and obvious as a sonic rainboom in an open sky, came to light in my emotionally incompetent mind. Everything I had been thinking about at once seemed wonderfully stupid. She was right; I mean, she and I were as close as anypony can get, at times, I acted as something of a father figure to Apple Bloom, and Big Mac was willing to let me spend a night out alone with his little sister. The only way I could be any more family to the Apples, was if I asked for AJ’s hoof and made everything official.

My response to this sudden realisation, was to burst out laughing. This of course, only served to confuse AJ further. Eventually though, I got it under control enough to speak.

“Damn, AJ. Ah don’t know how Ah managed to come up with that one,” I said, still laughing. She too began to snigger somewhat. “So what am Ah doin’ in this reunion then?”

Applejack had already sorted out a great deal of issues and problems that needed resolving before the reunion could take place. Last month she and Granny Smith had written the invites out and sent them off to the post office, via Derpy, en masse. Invitations had gone to Baltimare, Manehatten, Fillydelphia, Los Pegasus, San Franciscolt, Canterlot, Appleloosa and even further out beyond the borders of Equestria, to places such as Birdlin and Moscrow in the Griffon Kingdom and even to one or two small settlements of the borders of the Badlands.

It was amazing how quickly the once small Apple family had spread across the world, and they all could pretty much be traced back to this one little farm in one way or another. Last week, the invitations had started to come back. I really don’t know why they even use invitations at all; no member of the Apple family in their right mind would miss the reunion, not for all the treasures in Canterlot.

All told there would be the better part of one hundred ponies descending upon Sweet Apple Acres in a week’s time. It wasn’t just the festivities to consider either; to quote the Emperor Napoleon ‘an army marches on its stomach’. Everypony attending would need food and drink to keep them going. They would need places to stow away all their luggage and possessions. And, let’s be blunt, the one bathroom in the house would not be sufficient for nearly one hundred ponies. In the evening we would need a good fire going outside to keep everypony warm until they left, so we needed wood in bulk.

After that, we had to consider the weather. Applejack had a tacit agreement with Rainbow and the Weather Patrol to keep the skies above Sweet Apple Acres clear and cloud free for the duration of the reunion. It wouldn’t do if the reunion clashed with a heavy downpour or high winds.

So, these issues were our first order of business we steadily began to list everything out together. As I’ve said before, I prefer to plan things out before doing them, almost to the same extent as Twilight. As such, I helped out to begin with, by drawing up a timetable to get thing done by. The idea being that by the night before, everything would be set up and ready for action.

“Right,” I said, as we continued to mull over our options. “If Big Macintosh and Ah get the wood hauled back here, AB and you can help us get it all set out. Ah’ll ask Spike if he can stop by to help us get the fire goin’ next time Ah’m at Twilight’s.” In addition to sending letters, Spike’s natural fire breath did also have the ability to set things alight; we could use some of the stronger cider as an accelerant.

“Seems easy enough,” Applejack commented. “An’ maybe, whilst you two are out gettin’ the firewood, Granny can make a start on settin’ things up for cookin’ up the snacks for when they all get here.”

“Okay then, that just leaves sortin’ out the weather patterns for the day and puttin’ up the stage and whatnot. And we can put that off a little longer.”

Our planning continued for some time, punctuated only by the announcement of dinner and the occasional call of nature.

Two days later, as planned, Big Mac and I were hauling two large empty carts towards town. Ponyville didn’t possess a lumber yard per se however, the Everfree Forest was right on the other side of town and had plenty to spare. From what I understand based upon my magic lessons, the Everfree, technically should be in a constant state of exponential growth. If left unchecked, Equestria would be somewhat like Earth insofar as nature is concerned. However, the Tree of Harmony, a phenomenon still not completely understood by even the princesses, acts as a sort of restraining device. As long as the tree is there, the forest will not expand any further than it has. A benefit of this is that if you cut down a tree, within a matter of minutes a new one will have grown to replace it. This means that we could quite happily chop down several trees without damaging the forest.

Sunset on the day of the reunion was supposed to be around half past seven, though the temperature would begin to drop a little earlier. Ideally, we wanted to have the fire going strong by five, which was when the festivities would begin to wind down.

After quickly checking the weather schedule, which was clear skies for this week, we decided we would both fetch the lumber and saw it up into more manageable pieces, and also actually set the bonfire up. Then on the day, all that would be needed would be one spark form Spike. Obviously, we would also wait to put the hard cider on the wood too.

And so, the two of us worked our way around the town (it’s not exactly easy to haul to large, ungainly carts through such small streets; like trying to move a HGV up a lane) and headed toward the outskirts of the Everfree Forest. Given his superior strength, particularly his ability to physically buck trees over, Big Mac would be in charge of felling the trees. I meanwhile would use my magic to load the large trunks and branches into the carts. We would cut everything up back at the farm; even on the outskirts, the Everfree was still dangerous, with timberwolves occasionally hunting near the boundary. To be safe, I would also be on lookout while we worked, with my horn ready to scare off anything that threatened to bother us.

It was going to be a fairly large fire, and we’d need enough fuel to keep it going well into the night as well. In the end, we opted to cut down four of the larger trees that we could see. Trees in the Everfree are actually quite short in terms of overall height, but due to the way they often overlap, they still have an uncanny ability to be menacing.

We were about a hundred yards or so inside the boundary of the forest, so if worse came to worst, we had a good opportunity to run for it and evade anything that came at us. However, I doubted anything would actually come at us, since we were so close to the edge of the forest. The only creatures that ever really left the place were scavenging timberwolves, and as I’ve said before, a show of force to convince them you’d take too much time to pull down, is usually enough to convince them to be on their way.

Big Mac began to work steadily on the first tree. It would take some time to completely fell it given the sheer size of the trunk. The apple trees back on the farm were mere sticks compared to these monsters. Nevertheless, with each powerful kick, the tree groaned and shook, with the odd loose branch falling to the ground. Eventually, after about five or six minutes of work, the tree could take no more. I heard the tell-tale splintering sound as the trunk began to give way.

“Timber!” Big Mac bellowed as the tree began to topple. He’d been fairly sensible and ensured that it would fall away from us into the forest. Now we had to load the whole thing into one of the carts. As there were only two of us, we’d take two trees at a time and turn the whole lot into firewood later. The dust settled following the tree’s collapse.

“Nice job, Mac,” I commented as I tapped into my magic, surrounding the nearest end of the tree. I began to steadily haul it towards us. Even though my ability is somewhat above par, moving a fully grown tree was still quite exhausting. In the end, I needed Big Mac to help me finally get it into the cart. It landed with a dull thud, and the suspension groaned under the suddenly increased weight. Releasing the tree, I took a moment to catch my breath; magic use can be just as physically tiring as doing things with hooves.

“Alright then, Mac. We’ll get one more then head back, get somethin’ to eat.” Big Mac nodded.

“Eeyup.” He then returned to his work. Like me, he was showing a few signs of strain, but was still more than capable of working. Once again, the unnatural silence of the Everfree was broken by the steady dull thud of Big Mac’s hooves connecting with the next tree.

I took the opportunity to rest up while he worked. As a unicorn, there was no way I could make much in the way of a physical contribution. Whilst I may be able to help out on the farm, as a species, unicorns are the most physically weak of the three tribes, relying on their magical abilities to perform difficult tasks. On the flipside though, there was no way Big Mac, or any other earth pony could lift the felled tree and load it alone. So, swings and roundabouts I guess.

I was suddenly startled out of my thoughts though, as a sudden loud howling sounded close at hoof. I quickly tensed up and began listening for reciprocating calls. It might be they were just howling at each other, or they might be coordinating themselves to surround us. I called to Big Mac, who was still working away.

“Hey, Mac, hold up a minute will ya; I heard somethin’.” The stallion immediately stopped kicking at the tree and like me, listened. A few moments later, another howl sounded. It was a lone animal, but was quickly acknowledged by several others. There was a pack nearby.

“Eeyup,” Big Mac declared as the calls stopped again. “Best be careful, Bones. Ah’m nearly done; just keep an ear open in case they start comin’ nearer.” I nodded. At present, they weren’t a threat to us, though I would prefer it if we hustled up.

Luckily, a few moments later, the second tree gave way and plummeted to the ground. Further out in the forest, I could just about make out the sound of many pairs of feet. Perhaps the sudden shock of the noise had sent the pack scattering. It would give us the time we needed to move away from the forest and closer to town. Timberwolves wouldn’t follow us there. Hay, they never even come on the farm; anywhere where there is a settlement, they tend to avoid.

The two of us began to load the second log into my own cart and prepared to hitch ourselves up and bug out. We’d have to come back to another spot to get the other two trees to be safe, but otherwise there wouldn’t be any trouble. However, just as we were finishing up and tying everything down, we heard a low growl somewhere behind us. Turning around, we were confronted with three timberwolves, snarling menacingly.

We held up where we were; to back off now would only encourage them to advance further. It would be better if we could convince them to back away. Instinctually, Big Mac began to snort, toss his head and paw and the ground with a hoof; everything he could to appear threatening. If it came down to it, they would have a hard time pulling him down. However, the beasts stayed put, despite his display.

“Looks like that ain’t gonna cut it, Mac,” I commented quietly. Well, magic was far more threatening than that, wasn’t it? So I began to charge my horn; just a pyrotechnic spell really, loud and bright. No animal likes such things.

I let the spell out over the small pack’s heads, hitting a few trees behind them. The experience was something along the lines of a flashbang going off, with the area being briefly lit up and encased in a cacophony of noise. The wolves started for a moment and did indeed retreat a few yards. But once the display was over, they returned fairly quickly. Evidently, they’d seen this trick before.

“Got any other ideas, Bones?” Big Mac asked, as the wolves continued to stare us down. I nodded.

“Ah’ve got a couple stun spells I can try, Mac,” I responded. “If Ah can knock out the pack leader, the other two should run for it.” I flared my horn again with my usual dark blue aura, this time preparing the stun spell Strong Shield had taught me last year. I’d never had to really use it before, so this was the moment of truth. I levelled my horn at the pack leader. A solid hit would cause him to break apart for a minute or two, until the natural magic holding them together recovered.

However, just as I was about to let fly, the wolf turned away. It broke eye contact and turned its back to us. Its two comrades quickly followed suit, a few moments later, they had disappeared amongst the trees. They’d had enough. The two of us breathed a sigh of relief.

“Ya okay there, Mac?” I asked as I continued to look for the wolves, fearing that this was all a trick. Big Mac nodded. After waiting a few minutes longer, and after firing a couple more pyrotechnic spells into the forest, we agreed that the wolves had gone. We hitched ourselves up to our carts and, to quote many a veteran, proceeded to haul ass out of there.

We hauled the two carts, now very heavy things to pull, and headed back to the farm. We didn’t speak about what had just happened, for me, my heart was still going like a drum for quite a while afterwards. Okay, I may have once ‘met’ the Queen of the Changelings, but that didn’t make me some brave hero. I still sometimes think my actions there have forever tainted me.

Anyway, we soon made it back to the farm and dropped off the first load. We were planning to then simply head back to the Everfree to fetch a second load, but given our close call, we decided to cut up the timber we had first, and then return to the forest.

The two felled trees had to be stripped of their branches first. This meant that Big Mac broke out a small hand saw, whilst I turned to a low level fire spell to cut through the wood. We each worked away quietly at our own tree for about half an hour, until eventually, both were like giant logs, with no branches.

Now we had to cut them up into firewood. This called for two ponies, using a two handled saw. Steadily we cut the lumber up until each chunk was about a foot and a half long. Finally, we flipped them on their side, and then, using wedges and sledge hammers, cut the lot up into firewood. By the time we were finished, what had been two trees was now two cartloads worth of firewood.

Now we just had to get the second load.

Interlude 15 - Weather Jobs

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I was out as usual today, working on a couple jobs Rainbow had assigned me to. Most of what I was doing was standard maintenance duties really. Get rid of a couple small clouds here and there. Move a fresh weather pattern from Cloudsdale around the Everfree with some of the others and just generally keep humidity at the right level and watch for pressure drops.

I’ve gotten pretty good in the last few weeks at my new job. Of course, most of the others still see me as something of a greenhorn, but I’ve proved to most of them that I can keep up with them and get a job done on time and well. Hence why I’ve occasionally been assigned to these larger group missions. Like, last week, there was this storm front. It was scheduled to bypass us by about ten miles and head on down towards southern Equestria, where the water is already starting to drop off, what with the increasing temperature and all.

Unfortunately though, when the team at Cloudsdale released it, they had set it about three degrees off course. As the front moved on, the deviation got worse, until one morning, Thunderlane, on his usual morning patrol to check for incoming patterns, spotted this huge storm front bearing down on us.

Rainbow had had to turn out pretty much everypony to divert it, and it was a close run thing too. Still, we got away with it. And the fact that I helped out and didn’t mess up seems to have gotten most of the guys to accept me.

This morning though, whilst we were having our normal morning meeting to pass out assignments, Rainbow gave me an unusual job.

“Alright, Lizzie, you need to double time it over to Applejack’s place. Their family reunion thing’s coming up so they want some local clear skies over the next couple of days. Head on over there, bust up any rainclouds you see and try and set up a perimeter of, say, five miles and keep it clear. We’ll divert any major weather pattern around you, so just watch out for local stuff and anything from the Everfree. Meet up with AJ when you get there and she’ll fill you in with any other details.”

“Got it, Rainbow,” I replied as I sat on the cloud. Rainbow, despite her position, doesn’t actually have an office. When she passes out assignments, she sets up a sort of briefing room made of clouds, with seats for everypony. With my stuff sorted, she turned to the rest of the team.

“Flitter and Cloudchaser, you two need to head out to the Everfree, ground fog is starting to build up there, see if you can get it airborne again then turn it around.” The two mares nodded.

“Thunderlane, you and me are heading up towards Canterlot. They’ve had their sunshine for the princess’ birthday so it’s time they got a downpour. We’ll take a few rainclouds for now and hand them off to the team there.”

“Right, Dash,” he answered. With the assignments complete, Rainbow got up out of her ‘chair’ and bucked the cloud into oblivion.

“Alright. You’ve all got your assignments, so hop to it. Good hunting.” And with that, we were dismissed.

Sweet Apple Acres isn’t that far from where Rainbow had given us our briefing. At least, the border wasn’t. Back on Earth I’d seen a few large cattle farms with a fair amount of real estate, but that apple farm put them all to shame. The place is absolutely massive, it doesn’t help that most of the orchards all look the same. My brother seems to be able to find his way around without trouble, but he’s been working there for almost a year. So, my first job was to actually find somepony. I decided to try the farmhouse first. Even if they’re working, there is usually somepony there.

I’m by no means as fast as Rainbow is, though I do apparently have a fairly respectable wingpower rating (part of the physical I had to go through before I joined up). So I reached the farm fairly quickly. I climbed up to a higher altitude to get a better view of things. My eyesight has really shot up since I changed. I guess it’s because I’m sort of a bird now. After scanning the area for a moment, I was able to pick out the farmhouse and the various outbuildings. From up here, it looked like the centre of a wheel, with various dirt paths forming spokes away from it.

Having spotted the house, I let my wings rest and began to slowly glide down. Hovering in place is quite tiring; it’s like jogging in place as a human. Weather Patrol has made me a pretty decent flyer, particularly with all the help Rainbow gave me when I first changed. I had, as a result, absolutely no trouble in gliding down and landing on my hooves in front of the house.

“Hello? Anypony here?” I called as I walked onto the porch. I got no response and quickly found out, after checking around, that nopony was in at the moment. Applejack’s little sister was in school right now, and Granny Smith did go into town from time to time. I guess my brother, Applejack and Big Mac were all out in the apple orchards somewhere.

So, it looked like I had some searching to do.

I quickly took off from a standing start, no doubt leaving a trail of dust in my wake. I did my best to get to altitude quickly, so I could start searching. It was too early for any of the apple trees to be harvested just yet, so I doubted any of the apple orchards would be of any use. I guessed that they were all preparing for this reunion thing. From what my brother told me, the Apple family is massive, with relatives all over the place.

I continued to sail around above the farm trying to find somepony, anypony at this point. I knew they had to be somewhere, but this farm was massive! Eventually though, my perseverance paid off. I spotted a few ponies milling about near a fenced off area of the farm. I figured it was that Fruit Bat reservation I’d heard about. As I neared, I was able to spot Blade Star, Applejack and Big Mac. But also, oddly enough, I was able to spot a butter yellow pegasus; Fluttershy was here. I began to sideslip and landed a little way behind the group.

The three apple farmers were standing back, whilst Fluttershy seemed to be talking, presumably to one of the fruit bats.

“Hi everypony,” I called as I landed. “Rainbow Dash sent me up, said you needed some weather work done for this reunion.” The trio promptly drew their attention from Fluttershy to look at me. Applejack greeted me warmly.

“Well howdy there, Lizzie,” she said kindly. My brother also trotted over.

“Hey, sis. I didn’t know RD had you doing solo jobs yet,” he said, with a hint of sarcasm. I rolled my eyes. Applejack meanwhile cuffed him behind the ears, grinning. “Fluttershy just came over to help us out with the fruit bats. AJ was a mite worried that they might start takin’ food when we were all eatin’ outside. So we’re hopin’ she’ll be able to convince ‘em to wait and then we can give ‘em the leftovers.” Sensible enough. Fluttershy is not only good with animals, but she’s also a pretty good negotiator.

“So what do you want me to do for you, Applejack? Rainbow said you wanted clear skies during the reunion, but is there anything else I need to know about?” Applejack nodded.

“There’s a couple other jobs need doin’. We’re gonna need a whole lot of water to keep everypony’s fluids up. Normally, RD uses a couple of them there rainclouds and has a little downpour.” She gestured to a bunch of nimbus clouds towards the north. They didn’t look too full, but for just filling up a few water troughs, it ought to do.

“Okay, I should be able to handle that. Just show me where you want everything and I’ll get right on it.”

Applejack led me back towards the farmhouse. From what she told me, that would be where most of the reunion was happening. At the end of it all, they apparently all get together for one big family photo. Of course, with such a large number of ponies attending, they needed pretty much everything in spades. Above all, they needed a heck of a lot of water, which was where I came in.

Applejack had set up a large number of water troughs; the kind used to collect rainwater. After all, nothing is purer than rainwater, pretty much all of the contaminants get left behind on the ground when the moisture evaporates.

“Right,” Applejack said. “Now RD usually just takes a couple of rainclouds and uses them to fill all of these up. That alright?” I nodded and promptly took off.

Now, the obvious method to complete this little errand was to simply start a raincloud up. Now, to do that, you need to force the rain out, kind of like how you squeeze juice from an orange. So, any cloud for that needs to be big enough for you to stand on. The day was fairly clear, with blue skies for the most part, but after a bit of searching, I managed to find a few small clouds here and there.

I quickly grabbed these up, steadily forming them up into one large cloud. Easy enough to move about on your own of course, but still large enough so that it would get the job done. By the time I was done, I had a sizeable dark grey cloud that would easily take my weight and undoubtedly held more than enough water to fill up all of the troughs Applejack had set out.

I positioned my little creation over the first trough and got myself settled on top of it. I leaned over the edge to call down to Applejack.

“Okay, Applejack. I’ll start this one up now. It should have enough to fill these up.” Applejack waved up at me in response.

Taking a moment to breathe, I quickly began to jump up and down on the cloud, keeping a careful eye on its colour. Jumping on a cloud can do two things. Firstly, it can do what I wanted; trigger a steady downpour of rain, which will last until the cloud dissipates. However, if you get too rough with it, the static created by your movements can infuse the cloud with a large amount of electricity. The result is that your little raincloud can become a thundercloud. These need to be respected at the best of times, and can easily give you a nasty shock if you aren’t careful. The only warning you get of this, is that the cloud will start to darken, from a typical cloud grey, towards a much darker grey, getting close to black.

Rainbow had taken great pains to ensure I understood this. Mainly due to the fact that when Derpy, Ponyville’s mailmare, had been temporarily roped into the Weather Patrol, she had accidentally turned a very large rain squall into a barely controllable thunderstorm. This was before we got here, but according to Rainbow, the storm had started up, shocked Derpy a few times, drifted into town and caused serious damage to the Town Hall, which got hit about a dozen times.

So, you will forgive me if I was a little careful. Still, I’d done stuff like this a fair few times now and I knew as long as I was aware of the danger signs and kept a sharp lookout, there was nothing to fear. 'Forewarned is forearmed' as my dad says.

After a few moments jumping up and down, the cloud rumbled beneath my hooves and I heard the tell-tale sound of precipitation. Leaning over the cloud, I checked to make sure everything was going where it was supposed to. I’d look pretty stupid if I just soaked a good chunk of the field. With that done, I moved behind the cloud, ready to push it on to the next trough when this one was full.

One by one the troughs were filled to the brim with cool, clear rainwater. I don’t care how big Applejack’s family is; they are going to have enough water to keep them going. I steadily pushed the cloud around the assembled troughs and by the time it reached the last one, it was starting to feel decidedly light and empty. I was a little concerned that I’d need to go and fetch a small cloud to finish the job, but as it turned out, just as I finished filling up the last one, it dried out.

With no water in it, the cloud was now light as a feather and was a much whiter colour. All that remained now was to get rid of it. Hoping off, I positioned the cloud directly behind me and gave it a solid kick with my hind legs. As usual, the cloud promptly burst into nothingness. I sailed down and alighted beside Applejack.

“There you go, Applejack. That ought to tide you over for this whole reunion, even if you had a thousand relatives coming over,” I joked, laughing a little to myself. Applejack nodded in agreement.

“It certainly will, Lizzie. Ah gotta say, y’all have really learnt quick on the whole weather work with RD.” I blushed a little at the compliment.

“Oh, it isn’t that complicated, Applejack. You put me in front of a storm front and tell me to fix it, I’d still be panicking. This is kid stuff really. But Rainbow does say I’m doing pretty well. My cutie mark I suppose.” Over the past few weeks I’ve come to accept that the odd winged heart of my rear end may actually indeed relate to my love of flying. “Anyway, is there anything else that needs doing at the moment?” Applejack shook her head.

“Not right this second, Lizzie. Just as long as the skies are all clear for the reunion. Say, since we’re done here why don’t ya stay with us for lunch before ya head back to report to Rainbow?” I pondered for a moment. I was just going to grab lunch from the café in town anyway, and Dad always told me to never turn down the prospect of free food.

“Sure, alright,” I replied happily. AJ smiled. “I’ll stick around for lunch and then I’ll do a couple sweeps around the farm to just check things out and get a lay of the land before I head back.

When I think back to my older brother, how he was before we ended up here in Equestria, I remember him being this scrawny, tall kid who knew way too much about a show for little girls. But after just under nine months here, he’s really bulked up. Not like one of those weird body builders, or Bulk Biceps, but he looks more, well, normal.

And I think I’ve found the reason why. When the Apples do lunch, there good food and plenty of it, it certainly gave me more of an appetite than normal. It turns out both Granny Smith and Applejack are pretty talented cooks in their own right.

Plus, what with all the work he does, even though he’s eating way more, he’s also getting a lot more exercise than he used to. I remember he once had to fill out a form about fitness. One of the question asked how often he exercised. The lowest answer was once a week. He just scribbled out ‘a week’ and ticked the box.

We all happily talked about the reunion that would soon be upon us. Although it did remind me that my entire family now consisted of just four people. Still, I didn’t let it get to me, besides whilst our family may be small we are all still pretty close. I mean usually at my age, people are thinking about having to move out, rent or buy a house, find their first proper job and so on. But for me, I’d moved out already and I now had a job. But I was still near to my parents and visited them as often as I could. I mean, we have stayed pretty close knit since we got here, despite all the weird stuff that has happened. I think that shows how connected we are as a family; so many large families often don’t have that same camaraderie. Though based on what was being said, the Apples were the exception that proved the rule.

After having lunch, I hung around for a little while longer just to talk and catch up with my brother. Though at all times, I kept one eye on the sky, just in case anything did happen to pop up. And eventually, I had to insist that it was time I got going. Thanking Granny Smith for the meal, I headed outside, spread my wings, and took off.

I’ve think I’ve already made it clear just how large Sweet Apple Acres is, even by air, so I won’t go on about that. I will say though that it is one long route to fly around its perimeter. Heading out from the farmhouse in a roughly eastern direction, I continued going as the crow flies until I hit the fence line; the border of the farm. Quickly picking out a landmark, so I knew when I had completed the circuit, I turned right and began to follow the fence.

Steadily, I worked my way around the very edge of the farm, looking for any clouds or other meteorological issues that might cause disruption for the Apples’ get together. I came across a few clouds here and there that needed clearing, but other than that, there was nothing of any consequence. After about an hour or so, I returned to the landmark I had set. I then began the second part of my inspection.

Given that the farm was so large (you could easily fit whole weather fronts inside and not notice them), Rainbow also suggested that I do a check of the interior after doing a sweep around the perimeter of the farm. This would take a fair while longer and involved heading across the farm multiple times. And as it happened, I did find a few clouds that, in theory, could take on enough water on their own to start a small downpour. So I promptly got rid of those as well. When I was finally finished, it was getting on for late afternoon, maybe early evening, so I was glad to be heading back to town to report to Rainbow.

I opted to walk rather than fly back. Having criss crossed most of Sweet Apple Acres, my wings now felt like they were about to fall off. I landed at the edge of the farm and walked along the road back towards Ponyville. I found Rainbow, as was to be expected snoozing on a small cloud, curled up like a cat by the fire.

“Hey, Rainbow. Rainbow Dash!” I called up to the sleeping pegasus. After a couple more attempts I got her to stir and she peered warily over the cloud at me.

“Huh? Lizzie, that you?” she asked tiredly. Rainbow, needless to say, doesn’t like to be woken from her naps.

“I finished up at Applejack’s for the day. I cleared all the clouds I could find and I’ve done a sweep around the farm too. Anything incoming I should know about?” Rainbow yawned before hopping down to join me on the ground.

“Nah, not really. Thunderlane and I got rid of that system we were building up for Canterlot and there’s nothing major due for a couple of weeks. Just keep an eye out for any stay clouds from the Everfree and you should be fine.” Well that was good to know; I wouldn’t have to keep sweeping around the entire perimeter of the farm, just the area that bordered the Everfree forest.

“Alright, I’ll keep an eye on that neck of the woods. Do you still want me to come to the morning briefings or shall I just head straight over to Applejack’s?”

“Just head on over. I’ll drop by after I send the others off if anything comes up.” With that, I bid her goodbye and started to head back towards Fluttershy’s cottage and bed.

Chapter 75 - Apple Family Reunion - Part 1

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“Blade Star, can I talk to you for a minute?” I promptly set down the medium sized text I had been reading. Those are words that fill every male, regardless of species, with an ominous sense of dread. Particularly when it comes from a female. It usually means you’re in trouble. I got up from my sitting position at one of the library’s reading tables and turned to the purple alicorn that had addressed me.

“Sure, Twilight,” I replied, trying to sound unconcerned. I put a bookmark where I had been reading and walked over to her. She looked a little uncomfortable about something and didn’t seem all that keen on making eye contact; something was bothering her. I sat myself down in front of her and waited to see what she had to say.

“Blade Star,” she began, but this promptly trailed off. It was if she knew what she wanted to say, but wasn’t quite sure how to say it. Eventually, she started up again. “What’s been happening with your study into dark magic?” I was still a little confused.

“It’s going alright Ah s’pose. Ah’ve learnt a lot from that book by King Sombra, and Ah’ve found a couple other books that are kind of useful. Though to be honest, ever since the whole time travel incident, Ah’ve been easing off on it. Somethin’ just weren’t sitting right with me.” It was true, after I had returned, in addition to finally putting aside my hatred of the entire changeling species, I’d also gone through a bit of self-loathing, mainly focussing on the fact that I’d used dark magic to actually harm someone. Oddly though, this statement brought a smile to my tutor’s face.

“Oh, I see. I was actually going to talk to you about that, you see. I know before I said I didn’t mind you studying dark magic in addition to your regular studies. But ever since then, I’ve been kind of uncomfortable talking about it with you, even academically.” I cottoned on to what she was driving at.

“Because ya had a bad experience when you used it in the Crystal Empire, right?” I offered carefully. It is something of a sensitive topic for her. She nodded, looking away a little.

“It’s just, I’ve seen you use some low level spells every now and again, and I kept remembering the time we actually studied dark magic in our lessons. With the Alicorn Amulet, remember?”

“Ah remember Ah kinda went a little funny on ya until ya got me to see what was happenin’ to me,” I replied, remembering the lesson with some unease.

“Exactly. I don’t want to seem like I’m stopping you from learning, Blade Star. But…” She looked away again. “I can’t help but feel a little frightened of it.” Twilight had a fair point. She had been exposed, by her use of dark magic, to her worst fear. It would not be unexpected for that to have left her deeply distressed. I myself was pretty surprised when she agreed to let me study it on my own time. Now though, I realised the poor thing had been putting on a brave face.

“Look, Twilight,” I said, putting a comforting hoof on her shoulder. “Ah was thinking of droppin’ the whole thing anyway. It’s been getting’ to me too. Ah want to examine other areas of magic; like long range teleportation or maybe alicorn magic. If you want me to, Ah’ll stop and we can just go back to this just bein’ you teaching me.” I removed my hoof before it overstayed its welcome. After a moment Twilight nodded.

“Then I would like you to stop studying dark magic, Blade Star,” she replied, looking directly at me now. Taking me by surprise, she moved in for a quick hug. “Thank you.”

“Alright, Twi. How ‘bout we just get back to what ya wanted to look at today?” I asked, a little uncomfortable being hugged by the alicorn princess.

Luckily, Twilight promptly released me and moved on to the lesson she had planned for later today.

The lesson Twilight went for was actually something that did interest deeply, and was probably good for both of us, reversing dark magic effects. I’d performed similar spells, only against chaos magic, when Discord had messed with some of Twilight’s beloved books, turning them decidedly avian. As a mere unicorn, I couldn’t reverse high level dark magic, just as Shining couldn’t break free of Sombra’s sealing spell. However, there were some lower level spells I could resist and I was capable of performing partial counters to some high levels spells.

I spent most of the lesson attempting to improve my ability to resist hypnosis and mind control spells. Both required mental discipline to defeat. You needed to recognise what was happening to weaken the spell. However, whilst a hypnosis spell requires, to an extent, the participation of the target, a mind control spell is different.

A mind control spell can be, in some ways, likened to a Vulcan mind meld. The pony casting effectively neutralises the will of the target, turning them into a puppet that will do as they order it to. Unlike hypnosis, it is imposed on the target, rather than achieved through partial cooperation. This makes it much harder to resist. It is easy enough to know when it is happening, but it is very difficult to override it without outside help.

I practiced for a good hour or two, with Twilight casting the spell on me (and not doing anything else), and I tried to break free. A couple of times, I know I got very close, but it was just no good. To be fair, I was trying to resist an alicorn though. Eventually, I had to call it a day, as I was beginning to tap into my reserves. I try to avoid doing that unless I have to.

Needless to say, I was a little annoyed with myself that I hadn’t been able to break the spell. But, to be fair, I am not Twilight, I do not excel in all areas of magic. There are some things I simply cannot do. Just like I can’t roll my tongue like my dad does when he wants to be annoying. Twilight did however, commend me for getting very close. Besides, this wasn’t the first spell I found I couldn’t cast. I know for a fact that I cannot do any transformation spells unaided. Tried to, but I just can’t. Unlike my tutor, my cutie mark restricts me to certain kinds of magic. Although as I have said, Twilight believes me to be a little above average.

In any case, I had still learned what Twilight wanted me to learn for the day. So I was soon granted my liberty again to head back to the farm. As I headed out of town, I looked up at the clock; time was getting on. In a few more hours we could expect the vanguard of the Apple family to arrive for the reunion. Breaking into a brisk trot, I began to make my way back home.

Of course, today I was not heading home all alone. No, today I had Spike with me. He’d spent most of the time I was with Twilight sorting books and just generally tidying up the library, he’d also dug up a few books on the Lunar Guard for me. I think he was quite glad that for once Twilight didn’t rope him into either her lectures or one of her experiments. The guy does have his own life outside of the library you know. Despite how things appear, Twilight needs Spike; for one thing, the mare can’t cook for toffee. When I was all set to go, I let the young lad jump up on my back to take him down to the farm. With those small legs, the trip is quite a distance for him.

We’d had a fair bit of help setting up the reunion, particularly from Lizzie, who I’d spotted criss crossing the skies over the farm, doing her best to keep the skies clear for us. Now Spike had a fairly simple job, he would be helping us get the fires going with his species signature ability.

“Ah gotta say, Spike, Ah’m mighty glad ya agreed to lend us a hoof with this,” I said as I made my way back towards the farm. “Sure it’s easy enough to keep a fire goin’, but getting that spark is mighty tricky for earth ponies. And Ah don’t mind usin’ fire spells, but Ah’d still be a mite worried ‘bout startin’ a big ol’ blaze like that.”

“Hey, no worries, Bones,” Spike replied, grinning at the use of my nickname. “Happy to help you guys out. And it is nice just to get to practice without sending messages back and forth.” Ah yes, Spike the Dragon, arguably the world’s first living smartphone. No, that’s too harsh, and like I’d said before, Twilight would be lost without him.

We soon reached the archway with the large apple sign hanging above us; the boundary of the farm. In just a few hours, there’d be ponies from all over Equestria and beyond coming through here.

As we neared the farmhouse, Spike jumped off my back and the two of us walked over to Applejack, who was busily taking care of other final preparations for the reunion. We had plenty of water thanks to Lizzie, food had been provided by both the Apples’ themselves, and by Pinkie and the Cakes, and now we would have fires, both to keep ponies warm later on and to cook with. It looked like we had everything covered.

“Hey ‘Jack!” I called as the two of us strolled up. “Ah got Spike to get the fires goin’. Got that hard cider for me?” Whilst Luna’s moonshine would be a far better accelerant, I would never forgive myself for wasting such fine liquor on the fire, so we would use cider instead. Applejack turned from her work to greet us both.

“Glad you two are back. Howdy there, Spike,” she said kindly. “Big Macintosh has got a barrel of cider hooked up to a hoof pump. So Ah guess if you, Bones, spray the stuff over the firewood, then Spike can get her goin’.” The two of us nodded.

“Right, Applejack,” we said in unison.

We headed a little ways away from the farmhouse to where everything had been set up. Once Mac and I had gotten all the firewood sorted and chopped up, we’d piled them up to make a few fires near the tables and other key areas, both to keep ponies warm later in the evening and to cook a few things as well. And speaking of cooking, to this day the words ‘fold, crimp, slide to the left’ still echo in my head.

Anyway, we had a few hours before the first arrivals were due, so we were going to get all the fires lit and going now, since everypony would be pretty busy chatting with each other and generally having fun for the next few hours of the reunion. So, ideally all the important stuff needed to be set up and ready before then. Water was already done thanks to Lizzie, there was plenty of food to go around, and the various events we’d all been planning were set up and ready to go. So all that was left was the fires.

Spike and I found Mac steadily pumping out cider onto each of the fires with a small water pump that was hooked up to a cider barrel. He was heavily coating all the wood to ensure that the fire properly took hold once it was lit. Even though there was plenty of fuel for the fire, if there wasn’t an accelerant or something to help it, the large logs would be too much, and the flames would simply die out.

Once the fire was going though, it would just be a case of keeping them fuelled with the firewood we had. And of that we had plenty. Two full grown trees should be more than enough for one evening.

“Hey, Mac, ya nearly ready for Spike here to get lightin’ all these up?” I asked as we trotted up to him. The stallion was still steadily pumping away spreading the very flammable cider all over the logs.

“Eeyup,” he replied as he continued to work.

“Need any help finishing up?” I gestured to the pump he was using.

“Nnope. Just two more to go. Ya can get to work on the others if ya like.” I figured Mac would, in the time it took us to light all the other fires, be more than finished when we reached the main bonfire.

“Fair enough,” I said, before turning to Spike. “Okay, Spike; your time to shine. If nothin’ else this’ll be a bit of fun for ya.” Before we headed off though, Big Mac called after Spike.

"Hey, Spike! Ya still want that limited edition Bluejays card Ah got? 'Cos Ah got Thunderlane beggin' me for it." Ah yes, hoofball; never understood it myself. But both Spike and Mac are both into it deeply. Spike was going to stay on a little while into the reunion anyway to spend some time with one of his few 'guy' friends.

"Sure, Big Mac. I'll give you a couple of those Daredevils cards I picked up in Manehatten," Spike replied.

Since Big Mac was still working away on the main fire, we decided to start with some of the smaller fires that were dotted around where the reunion was to take place. Rather than being large fires, these were more like campfires in size. I briefly lay down to allow Spike to jump off my back. The young dragon took a couple moments to practice his innate skill, blowing a couple of small flames. He then turned to the actual fire pit and let out a pretty large jet of light green flames. The cider instantly caught; I even took a step or two back as the fire briefly shot upwards.

“Whoa! Nice job there, Spike,” I commented, still a little taken aback. He’s able to do that as just an infant. Makes you think what he’ll be like when he grows up. Spike merely looked smug as he jumped up onto my back again and we headed off to the next spot.

We repeated this process around all the small fires that were set up, and liberally coated in cider. The little dragon had no trouble getting them to burn. I honestly do now fear a little for Twilight; all those books, all very vulnerable to a small spark. Or a sneeze as the case may be.

By the time we made our way back to Big Mac, he had finished his own part of the work, and was just disconnecting the pump from the now empty cider barrel when we returned. Spike’s ability had impressed me greatly. I’d seen him send and receive letters before, but using his fire breath for its intended purpose was quite amazing to watch.

“Alright, Spike,” I said as we drew up. “Now for the big one. Damn; thing’s gotta be the size of the Olympic flame back on Earth. Reckon ya can get her goin’?”

“Just watch me,” Spike replied confidently.

In a sort of comical fashion, the three foot tall baby dragon walked over to the huge bonfire. It had to be about twice my own height and stretched a few feet in length. It amazed me that, with the right additions, all of this could go up with just one little spark. With the warmth and dryness of the day, I had actually been a little worried about Big Mac, even with everything being done outdoors.

Aiming at the central base of the wood pile, Spike breathed in and…nothing. No fire, no flashes of flame, and certainly no sudden appearance of a huge roaring inferno. He tried a couple more times, again without success. After that, he resorted to a rather odd approach. Like a lighter, he began to repeatedly make a clicking noise, and here and there a few sparks came out, but still no flames.

“Everythin’ okay, Spike?” I asked, a little concerned. He’d been going like this around all the other fires with no trouble, why couldn’t he make fire now? Dragons certainly don’t stop producing fire until they are very close to the end of their life, and for Spike that was a long, long way down the line.

Luckily though, Spike eventually recovered. After a few more attempts, the familiar jet of green flames shot out and, with a great roaring sound, the whole thing caught. Big Mac and I cheered and offered our applause. Spike meanwhile had somehow managed, possibly due to the suddenness of the fire, to singe a few spines here and there. If he had eyebrows, there certainly wouldn’t be anything left of them.

“There ya go, got there in the end,” I said encouragingly. “Ya sure you’re okay now?” It was still an odd occurrence.

“Nah, it’s no biggie,” Spike replied. “I think I just got a little nervous about starting such a big fire. Twilight’s always telling me to be careful with my fire breath.” That seemed to explain the issue away. As long as there’s nothing wrong with him, I was content to leave it be.

With all the fires lit and going strong, Spike’s job was done. I took the youngster back to the library, picking up those books on my way out and hoofing him a couple Commando comics I’d managed to dig up from some of my dad’s stuff. After he'd picked up the hoofball cards he wanted to exchange with Mac, I quickly ferried him back long with my new books. Once this reunion was over, I planned to do a little bit of research, see if I could find out a bit more about this regiment Strong Shield had told me about.

By the time, we got back to the farm, everything was set to go. The family were all gathered outside waiting for the imminent arrival of their relatives. I quickly hurried to join them. Mac promised Spike he'd catch up with him once everypony was welcomed and settled in. He and Spike really do get along, aside from me and his family, Spike is the only one Mac talks to regularly. The level of obsession they have for that sport puts my own extensive knowledge of MLP to shame.

“Hey, everypony, did Ah miss anythin’?” I asked as I cantered over to them. Applejack shook her head as she removed the cooking apron she had previously been wearing.

“No, Bones. But another few seconds and ya might’ve. Take a look.” She gestured to the road that led to and from the town. Moments later, dozens, and I mean dozens of ponies in all forms of transport from carriages and carts, to airships and rudimentary aircraft came storming over the hill. All I could think to say was:

“Sweet Celestia! There’s thousands of them!”

And with that, the Apple family reunion began.

Ordinarily, you’d expect a reunion of this scale to take a day just to get everypony together. But it seems the Apple’s, when the occasion calls for it, are just as organised as our friendly neighbourhood princess. There had to be the better part of at least fifty relatives. It was amazing really; all these ponies, from all over Equestria, and even a few beyond, all coming here to where the family first settled. Like salmon swimming back to their birthplace.

In short order, with Applejack by my side, I was introduced to dozens of different relatives. I did my upmost just to link names and faces, never mind remembering back stories. However, I did come across a few familiar faces. Firstly, there was Braeburn, AJ’s cousin from way out in Appleloosa. His orchard had been going steady for a couple of years now since the treaty with the buffalo tribes. It was nice to see that, in one reality, that whole story had played out to a better outcome. The place has boomed ever since, with the orchards down there almost rivalling Sweet Apple Acres.

Next of course, there was the more local relation. Arguably the male, earth pony answer to Derpy, Caramel was occasionally roped in to help out at times. But given his somewhat, shall we say, clumsy nature, Big Mac preferred me helping out. Still a good, decent pony though, and a great guy to talk to. I imagine if he were human and the two of us had met on Earth, we would have become very close friends.

After those two I met one of the few Apples not to have an overly apple based name – Fiddle Sticks. Like Braeburn, she too was from further down in south-western Equestria. Though she hailed from Dodge Junction, the mare was something of a travelling musician most of the time. A talented violinist in her own right, she had a great ear for music and made up part of the little ad hoc band that played at the reunions.

And then of course, arguably the only other pony that stuck out more than me (remember I was at this point a sole unicorn surrounded by dozens of earth ponies and feeling a bit of an odd man out) Apple Bloom’s favourite cousin, Babs Seed hailing from that vast metropolis they call Manehatten. If anypony else could be more of a stand out in the crowd than me, it was that city slicker. Still, she’s a good kid, and her personality, usually, isn’t representative of most folks from Manehatten.

I could go on and on, but it would take far too long, and I honestly can’t remember everypony from that reunion. It took about three quarters of an hour for everypony to park up, pay their cab fares, tie off their balloons, shut down any running engines and get all their kit stowed away.

First item on the agenda, after AJ had welcomed everypony and officially kicked things off, was to get everypony fed and watered after their journey. We didn’t want to have to go and fetch Nurse Redheart, or worse Horse himself. I never could stand that guy; drug addicted, cynical, egocentric jerk. Reminds me too much of me before I found ponies, only without the crippling leg injury and painkiller addiction. Yet whenever any of the girls dropped by, he was always all smiles. Hay, when I did have to go to pick up Granny Smith’s medication, I’d do my upmost to pass by his office, where he’d be looking at patient files, and yell ‘It’s lupus!’ just to annoy him.

With everypony well hydrated, things quickly began to kick off. The atmosphere was, in a strange way, quite similar to when I went to BUCK in Manchester. Most of these ponies didn’t get much of a chance to see each other outside this reunion, aside from letters and the occasional visit. This was a chance for them all to get together, chat, and have some fun; very much like a convention. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so uncomfortable about all this.

AJ and I stuck together for the most part, working our way around the various areas that had been set up. To start with, we stopped by some of the older ponies, who were all gravitating around Granny Smith. These old dears were still contentedly working on their quilts, chatting idly about all sorts. When the two of us walked up, we quickly became a topic of conversation.

“It’s just so nice to hear that Applejack’s got herself a nice stallion at last. I mean the way she works herself to the bone, poor thing. I was startin’ to worry she’d turn into an old spinster like me,” one of the old dears said in an upper Manehatten accent. Obviously she was of that generation where being unmarried in one’s mid-20’s was considered deeply odd.

“Oh, he is such a nice feller,” Granny Smith replied. “And he helps out on the farm to boot. Why, here’s the young whipper snapper now.” She waved at the two of us. “Howdy there, Bones!”

“Howdy, Granny. How’s the quilt comin’ along?” I asked, touching the rim of my hat. The thing would never be finished, but that wasn’t the point. Plus it pre-empted the other ponies from changing the subject.

“Oh it’s turnin’ out mighty fine, child. Another few reunions and we may actually have somethin’.” The three old dears promptly burst into laughter. “What are you two up to anyhow? Thinkin’ of sneaking off on your own were ya?” Important thing to note; despite her age, at times Granny Smith can be as sharp as a tack. Luckily for me, AJ stepped in to save my hide.

“Now, Granny, where the hay did ya get an idea like that?” she countered jokingly. “Me and Bones here were just gonna go see about startin’ the seven legged race for the young’uns.”

“Now ya have shortened the course this time haven’t ya, Applejack?” Granny replied, resulting in more laughter. AJ had learned her lesson from last year and everything was far less micromanaged. Still, remembering that made her blush a bit. The distance those poor foals ran, they could probably pass SAS selection at this point.

We left the OAPs to their knitting and headed on over to where the seven legged race was set up. It was pretty much the same as its human equivalent, only each pair had one of their front legs bound. If you ask me, as a former biped, that makes it even more difficult.

As ever, Apple Bloom had paired up with Babs Seed for this, and both were keen to try and place first. Anything would be an improvement over last year; I don’t think anypony actually finished all those laps around the trees. Plus, with all those tongue twisters they had to say, very few of them could say anything for a day or two.

The foals were all lined up at the start line, and to include me a little bit more, AJ said I could be the one to drop the flag and start the race. This year, it was a straight shot up to a few trees, ten circuits of those, egg and spoon balancing for the next leg, a little bit of barrel weaving and then finally a full on sprint to the finish. Applejack handed me the green flag. Standing next to the start line, I addressed the eager youngsters.

“Alright everypony! This will be a fair race. No shooting, stabbing, cliff-pushing, rock-throwing, cactus-grinding, neck-lassoing, setting fires, or other acts that causes a team to unfairly lose their way, bleed heavily or black out. On your marks, get set, go!” With that I dropped the green flag and the foals all bolted off, each one falling over at some point before they reached the trees.

Since it was a circuit, the start line was also the finish, so we had the luxury of standing by and watching the foals. The assembled crowd of ponies, most of whom had managed to grab themselves apple fritters on the way over, were cheering like mad for their favourites and I have a sneaking suspicion that bits changed hooves. Still, I have to admit, I was having the time of my life.

Chapter 76 - Apple Family Reunion - Part 2

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The festivities continued throughout the afternoon. After Applejack and I had seen the dramatic conclusion of the seven legged race, which resulted in AB and Babs just about winning by a nose, we headed off to get a bite to eat. One of the many tried and tested activities of these reunions was of course, the Apple Family’s famous apple fritters. A few of the ponies who enjoyed cooking them up did their utmost to make as many as they possibly could during the relatively short time of the reunion. Of course, it was simply not possible to get enough made for everypony. Hay, they were in such demand, ponies would line up and literally wolf them down as soon as they were ready, undoubtedly ruining the lining of their throats in the process.

So, to compensate, this year, Applejack and Granny had done a fair bit of cooking beforehoof, and we had also gotten in a fairly large order from Sugarcube Corner for those with a sweet tooth. As a result, whilst not everypony would get their hooves on a fritter, they still had something enjoyable to snack on.

With both of our stomachs grumbling loudly at lack of food, the two of us headed over to see what was up for grabs. Since it was still fairly early, the two of us were able to snag ourselves an apple fritter each. I must admit, they were very tasty. But, by Luna, were they hot. I imagine I looked like my old dog when he found a piece of hot, spicy chicken. He knew it was too hot for him to eat, but he didn’t want to drop it in case something else came along and took it. Still, good eats, they certainly made my gut go quiet.

With our appetites taken care of the two of us once again began to wander around. Every now and again, Applejack would peel off and lead me over to a family member whose face seemed just familiar enough to recognise, and got us all chatting together. The sheer number of stories these ponies had to tell was just amazing. With ponies coming from far and wide, you had a huge cross section. It was like a microcosm of Equestria, all come together on this one apple farm. I talked to frontier settlers from Appleloosa, swamp ponies from the Cajun region who spent their free time hunting Chimeras, cab drivers from Manehatten with a million stories of their fares, and even one pony from the border with the Griffon Kingdom, whose attire can only be described as distinctly Bavarian.

No matter where you went around the grounds we’d set up, there was something going on; games, stories, cooking, sewing, or just ponies swapping stories and playing cards, and of course, Big Mac was contentedly looking after the hay rides. Together, the two of us spent a great deal of the early afternoon going from group to group, with AJ introducing me and catching up with her many family members.

But do you know what the best part was? In the entire time, not one of them had a bad word to say. We’re fairly lucky here at the farm. We’re far from rich, but nevertheless sufficiently well off to satisfy our needs. Some of the ponies here were living right on the edge. Braeburn for example, was almost entirely reliant on supplies coming from further up north to keep his own farm ticking over. If I thought work on the farm could be tough, the frontier was a whole different ball game, with far greater heat, less resources, and amenities I took for granted in short supply. Yet despite all this, not one of them complained about their lot. They all simply got their heads down and did their best. That’s been something I’ve always admired about Applejack, even if at times it can lead her to being as stubborn as a mule.

We continued in this fashion for a fair few hours until about four o’clock. Now came the main event. The previous year, much to Applejack’s dismay, the hay ride, which this time was at a far gentler pace, had inadvertently knocked down the farmhouse. Luckily most things were salvageable and with the family on hand, the whole thing had been rebuilt in a matter of hours, with song I might add.

That job had brought everypony in the reunion all together for one huge activity, and despite the fact that they were all working to rebuild the house, everypony had had a great time. As a result, we had decided, when planning the reunion this year, to add in a spot of building.

This time of course, we wouldn’t be rebuilding the farmhouse. However, the outlying barn in the zap apple orchards needed to be put up still. So, we decided to select that as the last big hurrah before everything began to wind down for the evening. Applejack, leaving me to my own devices for a moment, headed over to the large stage that had been set up in front of the house.

“All right everypony,” she hollered into the megaphone, catching everypony’s attention. “It’s time to get on over to the barn raisin’ in the zap apple orchard. So everypony who wants to help out, if y’all would like to follow me.” She then jumped off stage and, with me at her side, began to lead the Apple family out to where the new barn was to be built.

The zap apple barn, which had been knocked down by Rainbow several weeks ago in a sort of nuclear sonic rainboom, was very much a key part of the farm. Since we didn’t have it this year, when the zap apple harvest had rolled around, we’d had to haul everything much further out than usual; an unnecessary and tiring task. So, we would now put that all right by putting up a brand new one to store the harvest in.

This project was by no means as ambitious as last year. This barn wouldn’t be that large, probably it was about a third of the size of the farmhouse. Still, with just Applejack, Big Mac and I on hand, working on it in addition to our normal workload, it would have taken several weeks. With a workforce of roughly fifty able bodied ponies however, we could have it all done and dusted by the end of the day.

Mac had already gotten most of the materials needed set out and ready. Planks, beams, nails, lengths of rope, hammers, saws; pretty much everything you might need to build and raise a barn. Personally, I’d never done anything like this. Okay I’d done a bit of woodwork in high school, but nothing like this. Still, I would have plenty of help if I needed it. As the whole crowd assembled in front of the site, they all began to break off into groups. For a moment, I feared a previously well-repressed high school moment would rear its ugly head.

“Alright, Bones, ya fancy helpin’ me and a few of the other guys out?” Big Mac asked me kindly.

“Sure, Mac,” I replied. “What are y’all gonna be doin’ anyway?” He gestured to the various cuts of wood.

“We’ll get the frame put together and raise it all up so the others can start buildin’ round it,” he answered. Since we were building on the same spot as the old barn, foundations were not an issue. The first big step then was to create the basic frame of the structure, which would take the weight of the roof and walls. With those up, the first floor (for the barn would have a loft) could be put in place and everything else built around it. Whilst it would be easy enough to put each section together, it would take a fair amount of physical strength to haul each part into place by pulley.

And so, everypony split of into various groups to work on all the parts that needed to be built and put up to complete the new barn. Applejack and a few others got to work on sawing up wooden planks to make the walls and floor of the barn, with Apple Bloom and Babs helping out. Granny and some of the physically weaker family members began to sort out the paint and wood glue.

As for Big Mac, several of the other male family members, including Braeburn, and myself, we set to work on building the frame of the building. First on the agenda, naturally, was to make a start with putting the wall frames together. The floor would be just dry earth. We all began to steadily arrange the various cuts of wood into position to nail, or glue them together. In the end, the new barn would be a fairly simple design, but in order for it to stand up, a lot of supports were needed. This wasn’t just some wooden box you could throw up.

It was hard work, but by no means beyond anypony’s ability. So as we toiled we all began to make conversation with each other. Most of them knew my own back story, which avoided the issue of me recognising some of them without having met them beforehand.

A key example of this was Braeburn himself. Now, for the record, I have no problem with Braeburn; he’s a stand-up guy and honest as the day is long. However, back on Earth, the fandom had contrived some rumours about him, that did not exactly sit well with me. At times the guy can come across as slightly nuts, not Pinkie Pie nuts, I mean lived-on-the-frontier-too-long nuts. And, of course, as it is said of the Roman emperor Nero; the rumours persist.

As we continued working, steadily putting together what would eventually be the south wall of the barn, Big Mac struck up a conversation with me.

“Say, Bones, can Ah ask ya somethin’?” I briefly paused in my labour to turn to him; his tone of voice sounded pretty serious.

“Sure, Mac. What’s on your mind?” He scratched the back of his head nervously.

“Well, ya see…” he trailed off. “No, forget it, Bones. It’s not important.” He hurriedly returned to hammering in a few nails into one of the beams.

“C’mon, Mac. Ah ain’t gonna tell nopony,” I replied. One advantage of using magic to hold a hammer instead of your mouth; you can talk and work. Big Mac continued working in silence for a few moments before speaking again.

“No, don’t trouble yourself none, Bones. It ain’t nothin’ really,” he answered. I imagine my look mirrored Applejack’s expression when she knows somepony’s lying. Sighing a little, Mac came out with it. “Well, ya know Ah been seeing Cheerilee every now and then?”

“Ah know Ah’ve seen ya sneakin’ off the farm in the dead of night to go see her,” I returned, grinning. Big Mac, in spite of the colour of his coat, blushed up to his ears, visibly. I relented a little. “Sure, Ah know you’re bout as sweet on her as Ah am with AJ.”

“Well, ya see, Ah’ve been thinkin’ of takin’ her out some place. On like, a date.” Again, his noticeable blush returned.

If I had to perform an analysis, I’d say Mac is just as much as awkward around the concept of love and romance as I am. Whereas Applejack and I don’t hold much stock in romantic overtures though, I know he does greatly. In something of a clichéd manner, the strong, quiet stallion is a big softie when it comes to love. But due to his own nature though, I figured that such grand gestures wouldn’t come easily to him, at times he can be just as shy as Fluttershy.

“And y’all are lookin’ for some way to win her over an’ sweep her off her hooves, right?” I asked, chuckling. Just to be clear, I was in no way laughing at Big Mac; I’m nowhere near brave enough. I just found it amusing that the stallion that was head over heels in love would come to the asexual novice for dating advice.

“Sorry, Mac, Ah wish Ah could help ya on that front. Me and AJ may have had a couple ‘dates’ if ya wanna call ‘em that. But Ah ain’t no romantic, silver tongued devil. Hay, if it weren’t for her, Ah’d probably never even said nothin’ ‘bout it.” Mac returned to his work, as did I. I hated to turn him away, but I also know you shouldn’t give advice on things you don’t have knowledge of. I’d never forgive myself if my suggestions, Celestia forbid, caused any kind of upset between those two.

It was then though, I remembered something; a letter I had received not so long ago, from a certain princess of the Crystal Empire. I may not have that much of a grasp of romance, but Cadence is a walking, talking, and extremely irritating, incarnation of Hearts and Hooves Day. Undoubtedly she would be able to provide some useful advice. On a more self-interested note, if I could get her to turn her attention to Big Mac, perhaps she would leave me alone.

“Hey, Mac,” I called, setting down the tools that were currently floating in my magic. Big Mac once again looked up. Between the two of us, we were slowing construction down no end.

“Ah may not be an expert on romance, but Ah sure know somepony who is. If ya write up a letter to her sayin’ what advice y’all are needin’, Ah’ll get Spike to send a letter off to Princess Cadence next time Ah go to Twilight’s.” At this Big Mac brightened up considerably, and in turn, his work ethic increased ten-fold.

About twenty minutes later, between the lot of us, we had managed to get the first side of the new barn put together and ready. Now all that needed to be done was to haul it into place and settle it.

“Alright everypony!” Braeburn called as we took the strain on all of the lines. “On three. One, two, three, pull!” Straining with the weight of the heavy frame, we steadily began to lift what would become the south facing wall of the barn off the ground. Ever so slowly, and with our muscles straining, we eased the structure into the air. Eventually, we managed to haul it up and into position, and a few other family members settled and secured it in place.

The whole process was then repeated for the other wall at the north end. And when that was completed we had something that was beginning to resemble a barn. The structure was now two walls connected together by the floors on each level. With these in place, we had a much easier time getting remaining walls into place.

As we worked on hauling everything into position, Applejack and a few of the others perched themselves on the first floor and steadily began to connect everything together (when we actually raised everything, it was all either tied down by ropes or leaning against another part of the building). We everything was nailed in, the building was safe to move around in and it no longer precariously wobbled in the slightest breeze.

Our work now switched from working on the frame of the building to putting up all of the panels that would make the walls, as well as the roof of the building. Apple Bloom and Babs, with Mac’s help brought in a whole new load of wood. This stuff first had to be sanded down and then one at a time connected to the frame.

Since Equestria lacks some modern technologies, particularly power tools and cable television, this would all be done by hand. So a great many of us were required to simply sand down the panels, mainly working together to make the whole thing go a little faster. After all, we were on the clock somewhat here. Ideally, the barn would be complete and ready for use by the early evening, when we’d all get together back at the house for a hoe down. Since Mac was busy looking after the fillies, Applejack and I paired up to get some work done.

“So what were you and Big Macintosh yappin’ ‘bout earlier, Bones?” she asked inquisitively. Whilst I was not bound to silence by Pinkie promise, I doubted Big Mac would want AJ knowing about his plans. The fact that he still continues to sneak off the farm should be testament enough for that.

“Oh nothin’ much, ‘Jack. We was just swappin’ a couple stories is all,” I replied. “Some of the guys were thinking of startin’ a pot for some of the events when the Equestria Games rolls around.” Equestria’s answer to the Olympics wasn’t far off now, less than a month away in fact. Twilight and the girls would be going, but Mac and I would be staying here to tend to the farm. Still, we’d get to hear about the results quickly enough. Though I couldn’t help but be a little sad that I couldn’t go with AJ.

“Is that so?” Applejack returned, somewhat suspicious. They say that love is blind, and given that, on occasion I’ve been able to just about sneak a white lie past her, I’m inclined to agree. However, Applejack continued to examine my features, looking for the tell-tale hint of a half-truth.

“Yeah, you know how guys can get,” I continued. “Why d’ya ask anyhow?” Applejack grinned.

“Well, ya see, Ah’ve been noticin’ how Big Mac’s been headin’ off the farm every now and then.” Rolling my eyes, I relented a little.

“C’mon, ‘Jack. Ya know he’s been seein’ Cheerilee every now and again. Not getting’ all protective all of a sudden are ya?” That got her to blush a little and to let things be. We happily chatted as the barn continued to develop. Eventually, with all the panelling done, we progressed onto painting the whole thing.

As ever, the barn was to a typical bright red colour. On the wooden roof, using a combination of lifts and my own magic, we rolled out strips of waterproof material to keep the roof dry. As it was, there were a few gaps in the panels, but this was deliberate. When the rains came again, the wood would warp, contract and expand with the moisture, so it needed room to settle.

Eventually, after I’d say around five hours of hard work with a workforce of just under fifty ponies, the whole thing was complete. It was getting into late evening by that point and it was time to move on to the final part of the reunion; the party.

Without a doubt the moment everypony looked forward to in the reunion, was also the last act. It was also why, each and every year, a few ponies such as Fiddlesticks brought their instruments with them. Overall, we had a violin, a banjo, guitar, and even a double bass. As a result we had more than enough to set up a little posse of musicians and have a song and dance before everypony had to say goodbye until next year.

Of course, as this was a party, there was also plenty of food and drink to go around. I had even volunteered some of my moonshine for the festivities; I’d been rationing it carefully ever since I’d gotten it for Hearth’s Warming. All in all, it was the sort of party I was happy to attend. No obnoxiously loud music that repeated itself every thirty seconds, no overly drunk idiots to deal with and no flashing lights that made vision a laughable concept. In case you haven’t guessed, I didn’t go clubbing much.

Anyway, with the paint on the barn still drying off we all headed back in a group to the barn. Fiddlesticks and the others were still just getting themselves set up on the small stage. The party would be in the barn part of the farmhouse. As I’ve said before, its large size made it an excellent venue. As we settled Fiddlesticks and the others were just getting ready to play.

“Just give us a minute y’all,” Fiddlesticks called out over the general chatter. Ponies steadily began to quieten down. At the moment, the group were checking their instruments against each other to make sure they were in tune. “We’re just gonna start with an old Chineighs song called ‘Tu-Ning’.” That got a laugh out of everypony. A few minutes later they began to play.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysCNbUOXfbI

With everypony’s spirits now well up and about and food and drink flowing around freely, the dancing began. Now, as I have previously proved, I can dance. My grandfather taught me how to do waltzes and a couple other slow dances. Unfortunately, he neglected to tell me how to perform what was on offer here. Obviously, this was of a far faster pace and with a far greater variety of moves. Add in the fact that it’s all done on four legs and you’ve got one hay of tricky dance style. For me, I might as well have had four left feet.

Luckily though, as ever, Applejack was on hand to help me out. Whilst a few of her relatives were dancing the night away, she kindly took me aside and taught me a few moves. In reality, it all looked complicated, but wasn’t too hard. That and I refused to accept that a university graduate such as myself was going to be defeated by dancing.

Eventually, we both returned to the group and easily slotted back in to the routines with me leading as custom dictated. This time I had a much better experience. Everything just seemed to flow more easily. We all happily danced around the barn with our small little band using a seemingly endless supply of tunes. Some even had words and had ponies, AJ included, up on the stage singing for a few numbers.

As time went on, everypony continued dancing, laughing and generally enjoying themselves. In particular when poor Braeburn ended up having to dance with Granny Smith. However, slowly, little by little, things began to wind down as the evening drew on. Everypony would be heading off not long before sunset. AJ and I were sitting down at one of set up tables catching our breath when Fiddlesticks called out as the most recent song finished.

“Alright everypony, Ah’m afraid it ain’t too long ‘fore we gotta wrap this up for another year. But Ah also know no reunion would be complete without a nod to all you husbands and wives out there that have made this whole family spread ‘cross Equestria like wildfire. So, how bout we play y’all a couple romantic tunes for ya before we head on out?” The assembled couples all heartily shouted their agreement and began to take to the floor, whilst bachelors like Mac, Braeburn and Caramel respectfully bowed out.

Oddly though, Applejack stayed put. Now I was a little out of breath, but I was more than willing to take a pleasant waltz with my marefriend.

“C’mon AJ, Ah think that’s us,” I said encouragingly, nudging her side gently. Applejack though, shook her head.

“Sorry, Bones,” she replied. “Ah may be good at dancing, but Ah never could get all that fancy high class stuff.” She looked genuinely sad that she couldn’t. I was surprised too; she’d spent most of this party teaching me a style of dance far more quick-fire and tricky than anything that was going on right now.

Why shouldn’t I return the favour?

“’Jack, a couple hours ago, Ah’d have told ya there was no way, no how, I could dance all this country stuff. But Ah ain’t half bad now am Ah?” I said. She shook her head, brightening up. I placed my hoof on her own. “C’mon, Ah’ll be the teacher this time.”

Just as we got up, the little string band was finishing their first song. Whilst they were getting ready for the next, I trotted over to them.

“Hey, Fiddlesticks!” I called. “Any chance ya can gimme a couple blank music sheets; Ah got a piece Ah’d like ya to play.”

“Sure, Blade Star,” she replied, setting her violin down for a moment. Rummaging through some of her things, sitting in a bag a little way off stage, she handed me some sheets and a pencil. I knew the perfect tune for this moment. Back when I used to play, I’d completely memorised it, so jotting down the right notations was no issue. With help from the other players, we were able to translate them for the other instruments. With that done, I returned to the floor and gestured for Applejack to come up.

“Alright, ‘Jack. Trust me, there ain’t nothin’ to this. Just take it nice and slow and follow me.” And with that the music began. It started with just Fiddlesticks, but with each verse, a new instrument was brought in, until eventually everyone was playing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_qIhrB73Uo

It was a beautiful piece; a soft, warm melody, yet at the same time, powerful and haunting. As the music continued, the two of us steadily moved around the floor. Applejack had only a little trouble keeping up. To this day, I am thankful ponies don’t have toes. With her forelegs gently wrapped around me, I led her gently, and in time she learned the steps and rhythm. It sort of reminded me of that time I had danced with Luna in Canterlot. Of course, this was far more, intimate than that. As we continued, the two of occasionally kissed on the cheek and whispered to the other. It was just, pleasant. This was probably the closest I’ll ever get to romance, it was, nice.

But sadly, all good things must come to an end and each part faded away again until only Fiddlesticks was playing. Finally the last note fell and the two of us separated. It was at this point, we both realised something; we were the only ones on the dance floor. Everypony else had stopped to watch the two of us. As we parted, we looked out to everypony else, they were smiling, even Big Mac was. And then they began applauding. The two of us both blushed at our very public romantic moment. I think that tune, at that moment, became to us what many couples refer to as ‘Our Song’.

With the dance over, all that remained was the farewells. It would be another year before we would all see each other like this. I’d made a whole slew of friends over the course of the day, from all over Equestria and beyond. I’d had a great time at the reunion, in the past I’d shunned such large social gatherings, but this had been a lot of fun, and something I looked forward to again.

We, that is me, AJ, Mac, Apple Bloom and Granny, all gathered to wave goodbye to our extended family. Babs promised to write to AB as soon as she could, Braeburn and Mac planned to pool their combined knowledge to help fix a few irrigation problems both farms had been having, and I assured Fiddlesticks that I would double check with Twilight to see if any music books from my old world had come through the rift and send them to her back in Dodge Junction.

Of course there was one last matter to attend to before they all left. As a group, we all gathered ourselves in front of the barn. It took a fair bit of organising, but eventually everypony was in frame and visible on the camera. With one great cry of ‘cheese’ we took the family photo, this time with a young unicorn added to the ranks. With that done, it was time for the off.

And so, in a variety of vehicles from pony powered carts, to taxis, to balloons and airships and even just on foot, the vast Apple family once again dispersed across Equestria, returning to their respective homes. We’d see the odd one or two perhaps, but it would be another year before we all got together again. And do you know what? That left me feeling a little sad, like a kid of December 26th, knowing Christmas is as far away as it can be.

Still, we’d all had a great time together, and it was nice to have the farm to ourselves again. All we needed to do now was clean everything up and pack it away for next year.

However, whilst today had been fun, and more fun times were ahead, on the horizon, there was trouble brewing. Very soon the elements would be needed again to quell a great evil. A storm was approaching.

Author's Notes:

Proofread by Sidetrack.

There we go, that's the last proper arc complete. We now move into the three epilogue interludes and then one final arc before the end.

Fun fact; 'Ashokan Farewell' despite sounding as if it came from the mid-1800's was actually written in 1982. Due to its use in Ken Burns' The Civil War series, many mistakenly believe it is from that period.

Now, what's next? Well, we're going to have a little bit of a time skip. To remind you all, this story takes place during Season 4, but prior to the Equestria Games and the finale. Both of these events are going to be skipped over. We'll pick up next with a trio of interludes around a fortnight after the events of the finale. The story will finish early in Season 5.

Oh, and DDoS people; congratulations. You managed to delay this chapter by a total of six hours. *slow clap*

Interlude 16 - Law and Order: Equestria

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“Your highness, please forgive my remark, but that bastard ought to swing!” I exclaimed, much to the surprise of everypony in court at that moment. It had been the better part of a fortnight since that vile demon, Tirek, had been sent back to this world’s version of Hell to rot as he should. However, I, as many others were, was not satisfied with mere imprisonment. That demon had been steps away from destroying the world as we know it, and all Celestia wanted to do was leave him in a cell guarded by that same incompetent dog!

“Mr. Owen, I warn you; watch your tone and your language when you are in my court,” Celestia replied. We had been genuinely arguing about this, not debating, arguing. And neither of us was giving ground.

Celestia based her argument in the fact that Tirek was no longer a threat, and now he was sealed away by the Elements Twilight and her friends wielded, there was no chance of a second escape, and in any event, Equestria was better prepared to cope. She also pointed out her long standing policy to never kill another creature when there were other avenues to be explored.

I, on the other hand, still had nightmares about that twisted overbred centaur. He harmed both of my children, my friends, my employers; everyone I cared about. He wanted to destroy Equestria, raze it to the ground. Men have been hanged for far less. Public opinion was very much in my favour as well, a great many in the larger cities thought as I did. ‘If it is hostile, you kill it’; that is a maxim any wise man lives by. Tirek is a threat, and will remain so for as long as he exists. Only when his severed head is resting on the spikes of the gates to this castle, as a warning to others (a la Cromwell), will I be content to sleep peacefully.

“I apologise, your highness. But this villain is far more dangerous than anything Equestria has encountered before. Even the changeling incursion several years ago appears minor compared to this. The entire government was out of action, wrongfully imprisoned, and we had no real way of countering him until Twilight and her friends were able to utilise the Elements again."

“Exactly,” she countered, not flinching in the slightest. “We were brought to the brink because we lacked our ultimate defence. We have the Elements again. If, by some impossible miracle, Tirek was able to escape, which I remind you occurred due to Cerberus wandering off, we have the ability to put him right back in mere moments. His success was due to a lack of defence and Discord’s temporary aid. Do not think I am so weak.” That last part carried a distinct tone of malice I had not heard before.

“Your highness, people are clamouring for justice, for revenge,” I continued. “Regardless of how it happened, you appeared to be weak and incapable. They want proof you are still the pony that raises the sun every day.” Celestia closed her eyes and took a slow breath.

“Roger, remember this,” she said, addressing me by name. “Force answers force, war breeds war, and death will only bring death. I learned that long ago. To execute a prisoner, even one as evil as Tirek, would set a precedent. How long before it is expanded to others.” Her voice began to grow in volume. “You think I do not wish to have revenge? You merely were threatened; I was cast into Tartarus itself with my sister and niece, unable to do anything while my ponies almost died at the hands of that centaur! If anypony should want him dead, it should be me!” She promptly stopped speaking for a moment to collect herself. “Tirek is imprisoned in Tartarus. He will remain so for the rest of his days. That is an end of it, my advisor. We will not speak of this again.”

Sometimes I forget I work for an absolutist diarch. I am meant to only advise, suggest and provide counsel. I am not supposed to make demands on policy, even if it does fall within matters of the law. Celestia had made her decision; that was an end of it. And to be fair, my reasoning was something of a kneejerk reaction to what had happened. I did my best to put aside my own protests and focus on my actual work.

“Very well, your highness,” I answered, showing my acceptance. “I apologise for my conduct.” Celestia nodded in reply and the familiar maternal smile returned to her face.

“You are forgiven, my loyal advisor. Now, let us move onto the next petitioner.”

I reached over to my small desk and retrieved the rather large file. It was quite a thick and heavy thing, whatever this case was; I could expect it to be high profile. Opening the manila folder I began to quickly read to get the gist of the issue, allowing me to provide a quick summary for the princess.

And damn if this wasn’t one heck of a doozy. It isn’t every day in Equestria that you see the words ‘International Arrest Warrant’ next to somepony’s name. According to the file, the defendant had been picked up by Royal Guards during recovery work in Appleloosa. They had been promptly arrested and detained for one night in the local cells before being brought up here.

The charges were long and extensive, and pretty damn serious to boot. Conspiracy to commit high treason, corruption of local government, wrongful imprisonment, slavery charges, possession of illegal magical artifacts, criminal damage, the list went on and on. If they were found guilty, they would be going down for a long time.

“Your highness, next petitioner is the CPS with a defendant for trial. Case has been deemed to go beyond local authority and has been submitted to this court for hearing. CPS wishes to block defendant’s bail request and charge the defendant with numerous charges relating to conspiracy against the crown.” Celestia nodded and took the file from me for a moment.

“Very well, the case will be heard.” She turned to a guard at her side. “The court will close temporarily to hear a criminal case.” The guard saluted her and the large double doors of the throne room were closed and sealed. Nopony would be getting in or out.

A few minutes later the CPS barristers and other representatives arrived and took their place on the left hand side of the court room, settling themselves down at the provided table. The counsel for the defence arrived shortly afterwards and took their place on the right. The defendant would be brought in directly from their cell into the throne room by the guards and held in the centre of the room. Now, allow me to briefly explain how all this will work.

In the Equestrian justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups; the Royal Guard, who investigate crime, and the Crown Prosecutors, who prosecute the offenders. Celestia, as the ruling diarch would act as the judge, hear the case of both counsels and then pass her judgement and sentence. I meanwhile, acted as an odd mix of clerk and a secondary, subordinate judge. My role was, as ever, to advise on the intricacies of the law, and ensure proper procedure was observed by all parties, including Celestia. Buttercup, the court’s bailiff announced the case.

“Next case: Crown vs Beatrix Lulamoon. Plea and case management hearing.” This wasn’t the trial itself, this was just to determine if there firstly, was a case for the CPS to prosecute, take the defendant’s plea, and to determine whether the defendant should be bailed and allowed to remain at liberty until the trial began. There was more than a case to answer, so the next step was to take the defendant’s plea.

Beatrix Lulamoon was a light blue unicorn mare with a crescent moon crossed by a magic wand for a cutie mark. She had spent the night in the cells but seemed none the worse for wear. After being brought up she was placed so that she stood between the opposing counsels, flanked by two intimidating Royal Guards. Oddly, she seemed to be somewhat enjoying being at the centre of things. Celestia settled herself in her throne. I had the first line today.

“Beatrix Lulamoon. You are charged with conspiracy against the crown and the illegal possession and use of forbidden magical artifacts in contrary to common law. How do you plead; guilty or not guilty?” I asked. The unicorn looked at me with a strong air of disgust before replying.

“Trixie pleads not guilty, Minotaur.” Celestia promptly stepped in.

“Ms. Lulamoon, Mr. Owen is my legal advisor and his species is human. You will show him proper respect whilst you are in my court.”

With her not guilty plea entered, not the smartest move if you ask me, the next step was to see if it was a good idea to grant her bail until the trial sometime next week. The defence moved first. A typical Canterlot unicorn, with a grey coat and silver mane. A pair of spectacles rested on his snout.

“My lady,” he began, addressing Celestia as a judge rather than a princess. “My client was arrested mere days after a national near catastrophe by officers who were supposed to be aiding those affected by the actions of Tirek. She herself had only recently recovered her abilities. She is relatively poor and would be unable to fund a trip to Canterlot, never mind pay her way to escape custody. I would therefore request that the defendant be granted bail in order for her to take time to recover.” Celestia listened in silence before turning to the CPS barrister; a good friend of mine named Wrought Steel.

“And what is the view of the Crown?” she enquired. Steel quickly began his rebuttal.

“The Crown strongly objects to the defendant being granted bail, my lady. On the two previous occasions where she has been known to commit wrongdoing, and where these charges originate from, she has fled the scene. The crown wishes this to be noted as evidence of bad character and indication that she poses a flight risk. Additionally, given the seriousness of the charges against her, she ought to be remanded in custody. The defendant is also known to be something of a con artist. It wouldn’t be too great of a feat by her standards to talk her way onto a train or airship out of Equestria.”

“Objection, my lady,” Defence chimed in. “Prejudice against the defendant.”

“Sustained,” Celestia concurred as I nodded in agreement. “However, I am forced to agree with the Crown concerning the defendant’s risk. Ms. Lulamoon will be remanded in custody to be tried on Monday next. Take the prisoner down.” Celestia stamped her hoof, acting as a gavel. “Court is adjourned until that time.” Trixie was led away by two guards back to her cell.

By the beginning of next week, I was somewhat calmer. With the occasional brief interference on the part of Princess Luna, my nightmares had ceased to bother me and I was steadily, like everypony else, putting the whole horrid business behind me. The trial that was due to begin today would provide a welcome distraction; a real opportunity to test my knowledge of the law.

At ten in the morning everyone had taken their places, apart from Celestia, who would enter the throne room last. When Celestia walked in, the court was ordered to rise as a sign of respect. Settling down she turned to ‘Trixie’s’ defence. “Would you care to make your opening statement?”

“My lady, as previously stated during the earlier hearing, my client is a relatively poor travelling magician. Twice she has visited the town of Ponyville. On both occasions she has had to face damning allegations against her character by the simpleton townsfolk, including her being wrongly blamed for leading an Ursa Minor into the town with the intent to cause property damage. I wish to enter this incident as evidence of bad character against several of the witnesses for the prosecution.” Wrought Steel promptly stood up.

“I must object to this, my lady. The matter involving the Ursa Minor has been previously settled with the defendant being found to be at least partially to blame. If the defence wished to exclude evidence it has had plenty of opportunity to do so this last week. This is merely an attempt to unsettle the prosecution’s case.”

“Sustained,” Celestia said. “Counsel, I suggest you stick to the matter at hoof of conspiracy.” The grey haired barrister bowed.

“My lady, I was just coming to that. Witnesses from Ponyville will almost certainly testify that Ms. Lulamoon was entirely at fault for that incident. It seems highly likely that they would also inflate other claims. In addition, I have testimony from several residents stating that the whole matter was settled by Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Not exactly a strong play, but possibly workable if it came down to it. The impetus now switched to the CPS and their opening. Wrought Steel stood up.

“The Crown wishes to see the defendant prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, my lady. There is extremely strong evidence, as well as multiple witness testimonies that clearly identify the defendant using an illegal magical artifact known I believe as the ‘Alicorn Amulet’, a magic enhancing device. With this artifact she then attempted to exact her vengeance against all those who had perceivably wronged her, including Princess Twilight Sparkle. Furthermore, she forced several members of the town of Ponyville into servitude after she forcibly took over the administration of the town. Respectfully, my lady, I fail to see what my learned friend hopes to accomplish with this petty smoke screen of a poor magician. And whilst individual wrongs may have been forgiven, that does not allow the defendant to escape the penalties of the law.”

Prosecution definitely had a stronger case here. From what Twilight had told me when I asked her about the incident over the weekend, Trixie had used the amulet. However, a side effect was that it affected how a pony thought, causing her to do what she did. Were I back in my old job, I would aim for diminished responsibility to reduce the charges. But hey, the crown doesn’t guarantee the quality of opposing counsel.

The next few days saw the steady stream of evidence being brought forth by the CPS. The argument put up by the defence began to look increasingly weak. The artifact itself was brought into the court, under heavy guard, and personally examined by Celestia, as was the false amulet which Twilight had used to get things under control again.

After that, there were the various reports from the Royal Guard which quite clearly showed a sort of magical bubble covering the majority of the town. This was a difficult spell to pull off. Twilight can do small ones around the odd building, but one of that size is more Shining Armor’s speciality. A young magician with no prior training certainly couldn’t do it without assistance.

Then came the witness testimonies; lots of them. Mayor Mare testified, citing Trixie to have entered town and clearly utilised the amulet. We also heard testimony from a zebra shaman, Zecora, one of the few residents of Ponyville I had not met. Various other townsfolk came forward, all saying the same thing. Trixie had the amulet in her possession, used it to augment her own magic, and then caused absolute chaos until Twilight returned and beat her in a magic duel.

Of course, defence cross-examined each of these witnesses. But apart from the odd bit of mudslinging from the Canterlot barrister, which resulted in objections from Steel and severe reprimands from Celestia and I, there was very little he could do to discredit them all. So, it looked like Trixie’s goose was cooked. The penalty for merely possessing the amulet was a stretch in a dungeon. But the conspiracy charges could see Trixie banished, for a set time or for good. But you know what they say, don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched. Defence had one last trick up its sleeve.

So far, Defence had been returning the serves, not giving them. CPS was putting forward its case, and Defence was doing its best to put a hole called ‘reasonable doubt’ in it. Now though, all Crown evidence had been heard. So the impetus shifted to the defence and their case. They didn’t seem to have that much going for them. As I said, the evidence so far appeared overwhelming. But then, they dropped a bombshell. They called a witness.

“My lady, the defence calls Princess Twilight Sparkle to the stand.” Instantly ponies attending all began to whisper amongst themselves and Steel and the other CPS barristers began scrambling.

“My lady!” Steel protested. “The Crown was not informed of this witness being called for the defence; we have received no application or prior written testimony!” But this silver maned unicorn was one step ahead.

“I have the application here, my lady. I apologise for the sudden nature of this witness’ arrival, but it only came through my office this morning.” While arguably a bit underhand, there was nothing wrong technically with what he was doing. Celestia and I both looked over the witness statement.

“Very well, the witness may testify. Your objection is overruled, Mr. Steel.” Steel sat back down, glaring daggers at his opponent.

Twilight was led in by one of the bailiffs and took her place in front of the two of us, facing Counsel Row. She was promptly sworn in by Buttercup and the defence immediately began to question her.

“Princess Twilight, is it fair to say that my client held something of a personal grudge against you?”

“Yes, Trixie blamed me for her problems after the Ursa Minor incident that caused her show to fail,” Twilight answered, nodding.

“And for that reason, she returned to town; to take her revenge on you personally.”

“Yes.”

“She subsequently challenged you to a magic duel; a talent contest of sorts. And upon defeating you, she forced you to leave Ponyville temporarily.”

“Yes.”

“Did this contest extend to anypony else besides yourself?”

“No, but she did threaten to harm my friends if I refused to face her in the duel.”

“So, in your opinion, this was a vendetta against you personally, not the town of Ponyville as a whole.”

“Yes.” Ah, I think I could see where he was going with this.

“Princess Twilight, could you please describe to the court some of the side effects of long term use of the Alicorn Amulet?” Twilight promptly gave a brief explanation, luckily one which was understandable even to a layman such as myself.

“The dark magic found in the amulet has a corrupting effect on the wearer. With prolonged use, it can cause feelings of paranoia, irrational behaviour and eventual psychosis.” Yeah, they were definitely taking the route I would, albeit being a little bolder. Rather than go for a reduced sentence by reason of diminished responsibility, they were going straight for the dismissal. Twilight, as an expert witness on the amulet was good leverage. If a psychiatrist would confirm that Trixie was not in control of her actions whilst wearing the amulet, then Celestia would have to find her not guilty. Defence quickly finished up.

“So this amulet would have magnified her dislike of you and cause her to take drastic actions that she would normally view as wrong?”

“Yes, given how she initially behaved, and how she behaved when I defeated her, it was easy to see the personality changes. When the amulet was removed she was immediately apologetic and remorseful.”

“Thank you, Princess Twilight. I have no further questions.” He then sat back down and began to peruse his notes.

Right, now it all rested on Steel. He had the unenviable task of trying to discredit Twilight as a witness. Not a job for volunteers, the mare is a bally national hero for getting rid of Tirek, never mind the part she played in several other serious incidents. Still, undeterred, Steel stood up and began.

“Princess Twilight, you were just relating to my learned friend the effects of the Alicorn Amulet. I note that the effects that occur do not set in immediately. Could you just confirm that for us?”

“Yes, I suppose that is the case,” Twilight replied, a little uneasily.

“So a pony, when they apply this amulet, is initially in control of their actions?”

“Yes, initially.”

“So when do the various issues that you previously raised, the paranoia and delusions, set in?”

“That varies from pony to pony, depending on their strength of will. The issues come from the dark magic in the amulet itself. It affects a pony’s ability to reason. A pony who usually acts in an irrational manner will succumb more quickly than a pony with a logical mind that can stay grounded for longer.”

“And of which school do you believe Ms. Lulamoon comes from?” Damn, Steel, rein it in on the poor girl! No matter what Twilight said she was incriminating Trixie. If she said she believed her to be rational, then it could be argued that she was in control of her actions. And if she said she was mainly irrational then she discredited any evidence of good character the defence had been able to find. Defence tried to step in.

“My lady, I fail to see how the princess’ view of my client’s personality affects this case.” Steel quickly retaliated.

“On the contrary, the witness has just told us that a pony’s mental state greatly affects how quickly this amulet begins to affect a pony. It has a great deal of bearing on this case, my lady.” Celestia thought for a moment and consulted with me briefly before giving her answer.

“Very well, but you will step lightly in the future, Mr. Steel. Please answer the question, Princess Twilight.” Twilight was sweating buckets by this point and looking around uneasily. Finally though, she found her voice.

“I believe…that Trixie has an exceptionally strong will.” She paused briefly. “Even after everything that happened to her, seeing her caravan destroyed and being forced to work on a rock farm for over a year, she never gave up. Even if that was misguided.” I’d seen this happen before, Steel had managed to break her and knock down defence’s argument. It wasn’t a done deal, but there was now enough reasonable doubt to suggest that Trixie was in full control of her actions when she took over the town. It would be a difficult decision.

With all the evidence heard and the closing statements and summing up dealt with, Celestia and I left the court to consider the evidence and try to reach a verdict.

On the one hand, we had a bucket load of testimony from ponies stating that Trixie used the amulet. On the other though, we couldn’t be sure whether or not Trixie was in her right mind. As back home, if a defendant was not compus mentis at the time of the crime, then they cannot be held to account. At best, despite Steel’s work, it was still not clear whether or not Trixie was corrupted when she walked into town. That was reasonable doubt. I turned to Celestia, who looked equally conflicted.

“What do you think then, Tia?” I asked. Celestia had been sitting down in one of their plush chairs provided in these chambers, looking at the small statue that sat in a recess. It was of a pony, blindfolded, holding a sword in one hoof, and balanced scales in the other. A reminder that we could not afford to take sides. Celestia had initially considered asking Luna to take the case due to her relationship to Twilight, but Luna had refused, saying that she believed Celestia could be fair. Sighing, she turned to me.

“It is a difficult case; by no means clear cut. There is no proof for certain that Trixie was in her right mind one way or the other when she walked into Ponyville. But at the same time, your friend Wrought Steel showed Trixie knew what she was doing when she bought the amulet.”

“Then we have to go half-and-half, don’t we?” I replied. “CPS hasn’t put forward enough proof to show Trixie was in her right mind when she used the amulet. But, we do know that she was made aware of the dangers of the amulet when she, illegally, bought it. That makes her guilty of possessing an illegal magical artifact. That ties her to the conspiracy charge, but defence has testimony that it was just Twilight she was after. Realistically, I can’t see any way of finding her guilty of any of the crimes she committed in Ponyville. But we still have to send her down for buying the amulet.”

“Possession of an illegal magical artifact carries a custodial sentence. Without anything else, I’ll only be able to impose a two year sentence, and then add a release on licence,” Celestia countered. “Although I imagine that is probably what Twilight wants. I suppose she would say Trixie has suffered enough, and that everypony should get a second chance.” That decided it then. I had no problem with it insofar as the law was concerned. So, after several hours, we returned to court.

“The defendant will stand,” Buttercup ordered. Trixie got to her hooves for the sentence. Celestia would be the one to speak.

“I have fully considered the evidence of both parties in concert with my legal advisor. On the charges of conspiracy against the crown, corruption of local government, wrongful imprisonment…” Celestia in short read out all the charges bar the one. “I hereby find the defendant, not guilty.” Instantly there was an uproar in the public stands, mainly from the assembled Ponyville population. Trixie meanwhile breathed a sigh of relief. Celestia banged her hoof on the marble for order.

“However, on the charge of possession of an illegal magical artifact, I hereby find the defendant guilty.” The shouts now changed to belated cheers before eventually being silenced. Celestia turned to address Trixie.

“Beatrix Lulamoon, you have been found guilty of possessing an illegal magical artifact. Due to the severity of this offence, I am compelled to impose a custodial sentence. It is the judgement of this court, that you be detained at the diarchy’s pleasure for a period no less than two years. After which time, you shall be eligible for release on licence. Take the prisoner down.”

Trixie was quietly led away, down to the cells again. Two years was not that terrible, but it was still a fair stretch. The court was promptly dismissed. Thankfully, as it was getting on for five o’clock, Celestia agreed not to take any further petitioners from Day Court.

It was by now late evening, and I was heading down to the station. With the case settled and all of the relevant paperwork done, I could turn my attention to other matters. Before I left the court, I had paused to examine the large doors. The repaired doors that had been installed only a fortnight ago. Tirek once again re-entered my thoughts. If there was anything close to Satan in this world, I’d say he is it. No matter how much I tried, it wasn’t easy to distract myself and put it all behind me. Strong Shield has been very much the same. The whole business certainly didn’t help him; hell if it wasn’t for a lucky happenstance that he was alone, others might have seen him in his true form. Still, it was no use dwelling on it. I just wished that something more had been done.

Just then, at my side, there was a flash of light and a signature pop sound.

“Your wish is my command, my friend,” Discord said as he appeared beside me. While I hold great animosity against that centaur, I hold no such disdain for Discord, despite him coming over all Italian. He’d never admit it, but when you look at everything, his behaviour was highly inconsistent. No matter what anypony says, I still think he was on the level, only his own plan came unstuck. I turned to look at my oddly mismatched friend.

“And what wish would that be, Discord?” I asked. He waved a lion paw.

“Oh come now, your thoughts may as well be floating above your head. Our mutual problem is on your mind.” I’d known him long enough to know what came next.

“You have a plan?”

“Indeed I do. I thought you might like to come with me, have a look in the proverbial basement.” I smiled to myself.

“Why not.” Discord snapped his talons and we both vanished from Canterlot.

Contrary to my expectations, Tartarus was actually a little chilly. It certainly bore no resemblance to the fire and brimstone I had been brought up to fear as a child. Few being were deemed vile enough be stuck here, but Tirek definitely belonged. Were I a psychiatrist, I’d say he’s a sociopath, with a massive inferiority complex and anger issues. His mother probably didn’t hold him enough.

Discord led me along several pathways, and eventually to the small ‘island’ that held Tirek in his cage. I’d like to say cell, but it was just a cage. For good measure his hands were shackled too. Stripped of everything he had stolen, he was as weak as a kitten and had the look of a starving man. His eyes however, for he looked up as we approached, still retained that cruel intent and dare I say, pure evil, I had seen before.

“Discord,” he rasped. “Come to mock me?” it was not obvious, but I could tell Discord was fighting mad just being near Tirek and consciously holding himself back.

“Oh, Tirek. That’s hardly the act of a good friend now is it?” he replied, equally ridiculing.

“And I see you brought the magicless ape with you too.”

“Hello, Tirek.” I replied. “Enjoying your new accommodation?” The centaur snarled angrily.

“Oh come on, don’t be like that,” Discord continued with false encouragement. “After all, the two of us have come with a little gift for you. Something to help occupy yourself in here.” Discord snapped his talons and Tirek was briefly covered by a bright flash as Discord did his thing. Hang on a minute though.

“Discord!” I half-shouted. “Don’t use magic on him. The bastard will absorb it!” Discord merely rolled his eyes.

“Do you really think so little of me, my friend?” he asked. Snapping his talons again, a small device, looking somewhat like a Geiger counter appeared. It began to click. “Everything in Equestria is saturated with background magical energy; you, me, even Tartarus itself. But there is one exception.” He moved the probe into Tirek’s cage. The counter promptly fell silent. “See? Absolute zero. Whatever Twilight and her friends did completely neutralised even his own magic. Inside that cell it is as if we’re on your old world.”

“So, what did you do then?” I asked perplexedly. Discord smiled in that way he does when he knows something you don’t.

“Pinch his arm, will you?” he said. Tirek growled angrily at the prospect.

With some trepidation I put my arms inside the cell. Deciding to have a bit of fun, I used one hand to grab that bull ring of his on his nose, and use it for its intended purpose. That stopped him trying to snap at me. I then pinched his arm.

And wouldn’t you know it. It squeaked. Like say, oh I don’t know, a dog toy? I have to say Discord is anything if not creative.

A short ways off, Cerberus, the large three headed dog that guards this place, looked up excitedly. His tail wagged as he eyed Tirek. I repeated the process a couple of more time. The great dog promptly bounded over and began to paw at Tirek’s cage. The centaur quickly retreated, but every move he made caused yet further squeaks driving Cerberus into a frenzy.

“Well,” Discord said over the noise of Cerberus’ barking. “I think that should stop him getting out unnoticed again.”

“I’d say so. How long do you think he has before Cerberus chews through the cage?”

“Ten minutes?” The two of us laughed. “Tell you what, how about I save you on a trip home? I’ve got a couple other loose ends to tie up down here.”

“Sure, why not.” Before he did that though, he returned to Tirek’s cage, waving Cerberus away for a moment, though the great dog continued to bark and whine. Leaning down, he eyed the centaur, who now knew what was in store for him.

“You twisted freak!” Tirek snapped. “Just kill me and be done with it or leave me to rot!” Discord smiled though, and laughed cruelly.

“No, Tirek,” he replied. “As you can see, my friends and I have done far worse than kill you putting you down here. We have…hurt you. And I wish to go on…hurting you.” Discord stood back up to his full height. “Enjoy your new toy, Cerberus.” The dog quickly returned to its attempts to break into the cage.

Before I had a chance to comment on anything, Discord snapped his talon and sent me back to Ponyville; right into my own living room, in fact. I managed to startle the wife, more so when I remained speechless.

I knew Discord had once been ‘evil’ but I always believed it was just his chaotic nature. I knew he was mad at Tirek too; most ponies in their right mind were. But I didn’t realise how mad. I’d never seen him act like that, genuinely malicious in his actions. I guess my son is not the only one with an unhealthy fixation on revenge.

Interlude 17 - Parent Teacher Conference

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“And following that,” I continued. “It was decided to hold the games every four years, as a way of encouraging friendly competition between all three of the tribes. It greatly aided in strengthening the ties forged at the first Hearth’s Warming and helped reduce the occasional feuds between the more distrustful members of the old council. Now, are there any questions?” A few hooves went into the air.

I’d been doing a project with the kids prior to the Equestria Games and with the games now over for another few years, I was taking the opportunity to teach some history. It also helped as a distraction from other things. Whilst they had all managed to avoid the fate that temporarily befell many of my friends and both my children, the foals had been badly shaken up by Tirek’s brief rampage.

My son had told me about the battle against the changelings at Canterlot, but it didn’t sound that bad. Nopony had been killed, in fact only a few were injured in that battle. Given that this world was the basis of a show that had a TV Y rating, I figured we were safe from any real danger. Turns out I figured wrong.

I have been scared several times in my life. But that day had to rank as one of the scariest. Neither my husband nor I were overly affected, as we don’t have magic. But both Blade Star and Lizzie had been put in a very serious condition. Without their magic, they could barely lift their heads, never mind cast spells or fly. Still, they, along with everypony else, were alright now, and Tirek has, from what I understand, been sent to some kind of specialist magical prison. This time of course, with beefed up security. Still, as a mother, my instincts are to go down there and rip him a new one for harming my babies.

But I couldn’t really dwell on the past now. There was a class to teach. I turned to the nearest pony with a hoof in the air; Scootaloo.

“Yes, Scootaloo?”

“Mrs. Owen, do you think the games will ever be held in Ponyville?” she asked hopefully. She and the other Crusaders had of course, like Rainbow and the relay team, gone all the way to the Crystal Empire.

“I wouldn’t expect just yet, Scoots,” I replied. “To hold the games, a town needs lots of resources. That’s why it’s usually restricted to bigger cities like Canterlot and Fillydelphia.”

“And Cloudsdale too, right?” she butted in. I was about to reply, when I heard a scoffing noise, further back.

You would have thought that surviving the near destruction of our homes would have brought everypony closer together, wouldn’t you? And with one exception, it did. That exception of course, was Diamond Tiara. I thought she was finally coming around a few weeks ago, when all of her bullying, particularly of the Crusaders and Dinky, tapered off. But, no, I was mistaken. Recent events seem to have made her even more mean spirited that normal. At this point I was strongly considering sending a letter home to her father about her behaviour; to Tartarus with the inevitable backlash.

“Oh come on, Chicken. That dump’s never hosted the games and it never will,” Diamond Tiara said spitefully. Scootaloo instantly turned to glare at her. I can guess the biggest reason for such a reaction is the Rainbow Dash originally hails from Cloudsdale. And having been there myself, it is far from a dump. The coliseum they have is ideal for the games. Just so long as everypony has a functioning cloud walking spell.

“Diamond Tiara, have you never heard the phrase ‘if you’ve nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all’?” I asked, my patience wearing very thin by this point. This was, by my count, the fifth time she’d interrupted the lesson. In response the spoiled little filly snorted and stuck her nose up in the air. The best response to such behaviour is to ignore it, so I turned to Dinky, who also had her hoof in the air.

“Yes, Dinky?”

“Mrs. Owen, how come the Crystal Empire was able to host the games so quickly after its return? When I looked in the paper yesterday it said their currency was extremely low in value, that the country was suffering a severe population exodus and was still struggling to adapt to modern Equestria cultural norms. So how were they able to structure their economic recovery plan to cope with the costs of the games?” You see, this is one of the problems of having a very young and very curious Timelord in your class. In several areas, Dinky is arguably smarter than me.

Luckily, at that point, I was saved by the bell, literally. The school bell rang to signal morning break and the kids all promptly scarpered off to go and play outside in the warm summer weather. Dinky however, remained where she was, awaiting my answer. I stalled for time.

“Dinky, go out and enjoy recess, I’ll answer your question when you all get back in.” Whilst she is an incredibly smart little filly, she is also still a filly, and fairly easy to fool. As soon as she was out the door, I began to look for any books we had on economics.

After looking through the article Dinky had been reading and brushing up on my basic economics, I felt I had enough to answer Dinky’s question when the class got back in. Mind you, I doubted anypony apart from Dinky and Cheerilee would understand the answer.

Heading outside I found Cheerilee keeping an eye on the youngsters. She’s been looking to get some time off for a couple of weeks. She and Big Mac had, so I’m told, been planning to take a few days holiday out of town, apparently a suggestion Big Mac got from Princess Cadence, though how he got in touch with her I’ve no idea. Anyway, everything had been arranged and the pair was pretty much all set to go, when all Hell broke loose. Needless to say, a magic stealing demon creature was more than enough to postpone a romantic getaway. I’d had to run the class myself for a couple of days whilst Cheerilee fully recovered. With that incident over and stuck in a dark hole underneath the planet though, the pair were now planning for a second attempt.

“Hey, Cheerilee,” I said as I walked up. “Everything alright?” She nodded contently.

“Sure is, they’re being good as gold today,” she replied. “I managed to get some time to talk with Big Mac earlier. Would you be okay taking classes on your own between next Tuesday and Thursday? We’re hoping to get a weekend spot of course, but if we have to, we might end up going in the week.” Normally, if someone on staff asked me that, I’d be a bit annoyed. It was short notice and would place a lot of work on me. But, this was Cheerilee, she’d been trying to find some time for ages and it wouldn’t be too much work.

“Yeah, I suppose if push comes to shove I can manage that. But you do all the test marking come exam time?” Hey, I’m not a complete altruist.

“Of course. Like I said, hopefully we’ll be able to book for a weekend. It would be easier for both of us; just a fall back plan.” At that point we were interrupted by two of our students.

I think I have already made it pretty clear that Snips and Snails aren’t exactly the brightest students in the class. Though at least they do try I suppose. But one of the things they are known for is blowing things way out of proportion. Before my time, there was the Ursa Minor they led into town in an attempt to see a magician perform some kind of advanced magic trick. Then, when I started teaching here, there was the time they were being attacked by a giant flying insect; a dragonfly, which resulted in the entire class charging around in a panic. Long story short, they can by word or deed, cause about as much chaos as Discord. So when they ran up to the two of us, I was initially unconcerned by their warning.

“Mrs. Owen, Ms. Cheerilee! Diamond Tiara’s being attacked by King Sombra!” they exclaimed.

Well…that was a new one.

For starters, I know for a fact that King Sombra was blasted into atoms many, many miles north of here. And even with my limited understanding of magic, I knew it was impossible for him to reincarnate himself. More importantly, I couldn’t for the life of me understand why he’d, as his first action, attack a small filly in a small town elementary school. But of course, we were obliged to investigate. So, telling the foals to take us straight to the problem, we began to follow then.

As we walked to a more secluded part of the school grounds, Equestria’s answer to Abbot and Costello filled us in on the details. Just as in class, come recess, Diamond Tiara had resumed her campaign against the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Unusually though, it appeared this time, she’d been quite effective. Whilst neither of them knew what was said, it had brought Apple Bloom to tears. A few moments after that, 'King Sombra’ had appeared and grabbed Diamond Tiara in his magic.

I was expecting a multitude of possibilities for when we got there. Foremost in my mind was the question of precisely how strongly I should word the disciplinary letter to Filthy Rich, and for how many weeks I should keep that spoilt urchin he calls a daughter in for detention. What we saw when we got to the small hollow that held the Crusaders and Diamond Tiara, was not what I was expecting.

It was my son, Blade Star. And in his magical grip, being held upside down and quivering like a leaf was Diamond Tiara, with the odd tear running down her face. Standing a ways off, the Crusaders were looking on with a mixture of curiosity and fear, particularly Apple Bloom. Most alarmingly though, was my son’s eyes. One of the few things that hasn’t changed about my son since his change is his soft brown eyes. Now though, they had turned an unsettling shade of red, the whites of his eyes had turned green and a strange purple coloured smoke was oozing from his eyes like some sort of magical conjunctivitis. And even more oddly, his horn had changed; usually it was a typical unicorn horn, now it was like a jagged tooth, tipped red at the end. It glowed with strange purple and green bubbles, presumably his magic. He held Diamond Tiara close to his face as he spoke to her, his teeth bared threateningly.

“So, why were you picking on this filly?” he asked in the voice he had mimicked on Nightmare Night, gesturing toward Apple Bloom. “You have been doing it for years, but why? You won’t worsen her life, and you are going have to contend with me.” The filly merely continued to squirm and refused to look him in the eye, never mind respond. He bared his teeth angrily at her

“Answer me, Diamond Tiara!” he snapped. “Why were you picking on these fillies?”

I had no idea what in the name of Celestia herself he was doing, but that was one of my students.

“That’s enough! Put her down right now, Blade Star!” I shouted. The surprise briefly broke his concentration and the small filly dropped to the ground in front of him, before scampering behind my legs. “What on earth do you think you are doing?!” Immediately, his eyes and horn returned to their normal hues and shapes.

“Easy, Mom,” he replied in an attempt to sound disarming. “Ah was just lookin’ out for AB. Weren’t right what that filly said.” Old teaching instincts took over. First you find out who said what to whom, who did what and why. Then you try and work out who is responsible. If you can’t you say ‘I don’t care who started it’ and admonish them both. More than once I jokingly suggested this as a way to solve the problems of the Middle East.

“Alright, son, start from the beginning,” I said at length.

The story he told went something like this. Apple Bloom had forgotten a piece of homework due in this afternoon, a couple maths worksheets if I remember correctly. Anyway, my son had spotted them in Apple Bloom’s room and decided to bring them in for her. There isn’t that much in the way of security at the school. There’s a small fence big enough to stop young ponies from bunking off, not that I think for a second any of them would, but other than that, ponies can come and go as they please. Blade Star had realised class was out when he arrived and begun looking for Apple Bloom. He’d found her and the Crusaders, with Diamond Tiara doing her best to rile them up. To their credit, the Crusaders kept up their campaign of passive resistance even after the inspection. Mainly, I think because it made Diamond Tiara madder each time she failed to get a reaction.

Unfortunately, perhaps to my own discredit, this had an unfortunate side effect. Since her usual taunts were not working, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had stepped up their harassment, each time trying different subject to pick at each of the Crusaders. Apparently, today’s topic was parents. I do not know the whole story, nor does Blade Star, but I do know that Apple Bloom’s are no longer around. Whatever happened shook up all the members of the Apple family. So when Diamond Tiara made a wise crack about parents, in addition to slightly upsetting Scootaloo, it really hurt Apple Bloom. Blade Star happened to enter hearing range and see the reaction at just the right time.

I’m not quite sure why, but my son seems to have, in a sort of fatherly way, taken to looking out for Apple Bloom, helping her out with school work and the like. But he also knows what it is like to be bullied. He went through the mill in his first year of high school. Some upstart from the arse end of town who’d managed to convinced doctors he had ADHD, (he was actually just an evil little demon in need of some discipline, and his mother was one of those ‘free spirit’ types) starting bullying him non-stop. As was common the school did nothing about it, even on one occasion blaming my son for ‘provoking’ the bully. Consequently, as an adult, he doesn’t take kindly to bullies. Add to that how much he cares for Apple Bloom and you ended up with Diamond Tiara suspended in mid-air.

“Ah wasn’t gonna do anythin’, Mom,” he insisted. “Just give her a good scare is all. Why d’ya think Ah used that illusion spell from Nightmare Night.”

“That still doesn’t allow you to come onto school grounds and scare a filly half to death.” Under my breath I added; “Even if she does deserve it.” Snorting in annoyance and tossing his head, he gestured to the still cowering filly.

“Alright then, but given what Ah saw, Ah wanna see that filly duly punished.” He raised a fair enough point. Filthy would probably raise hell over his little scare tactic, but Diamond Tiara would be getting in trouble regardless. I’d eased off previously because she seemed to be toeing the line. Now though, I would be taking things up a notch.

Much to everypony’s surprise, Diamond Tiara recovered quite quickly. In fact, the moment I informed her she would be staying in detention and would have a letter sent home, the poor whimpering filly vanished, replaced by an angry screeching demon that told all in hearing range how her daddy was going to have me fired and my son put in jail.

Apple Bloom meanwhile, whilst not actually in trouble per se, would still have to go through the whole mess that came with sorting this incident out. As soon as everything had calmed down, she had stayed with Blade Star, who remained where he was until the end of recess and played with him. I think it made her feel a great deal better as well as greatly calming my son down. Like I said, his own experience means he takes a very dim view of bullies.

As for the rest of the class, the incident went into the rumour mill. By the end of the day, the story was that Apple Bloom had used some strange potion she got from Zecora to bring back the ghost of King Sombra to attack Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and that only due to our intervention, did he not eat the both of them.

But whilst it was just a great story for them, for me and Cheerilee, it was the beginning of a long headache. That evening, Filthy came by my house to chew me out, as much as a 5’4 human can be by a four foot tall pony. He technically was right to complain about my son’s actions, but the rest of his tirade was a load of horseapples. He even had the pure faced cheek to demand that Apple Bloom be suspended, supposedly for sic’ing Blade Star on his perfect little girl. Eventually, I managed to get him agree to come in after school tomorrow. We would all sit down and discuss the matter, whilst Diamond Tiara served out her detention.

The next day, after the class had been dismissed and all potentially prying eyes had departed, we all sat down to try and come to some sort of understanding. Cheerilee and I would be speaking on behalf of the school. Applejack and Blade Star were here to look out for Apple Bloom, and Filthy, along with his daughter who was doing lines at the back of the room would be telling his side of the story.

“Well, at least he didn’t bring his lawyers with him,” Cheerilee said quietly as we walked in. The two of us sat down behind the desk at the front of the classroom, whilst everypony else took a seat at one of the provided chairs.

“Alright,” I said. “Before we begin, I would like to establish some ground rules. This meeting is not going to achieve anything if it descends into a shouting match. Nopony is to interrupt anypony else. No shouting or foul language. And no goading each other.”

“Fine by me,” Applejack replied. Blade Star also nodded his assent. Applejack seemed to be taking the lead on this one. I can imagine Blade Star was probably in a bit of hot water over this with her.

“Very well,” Filthy agreed, albeit grudgingly.

“Good,” said Cheerilee, taking over. “Now, why don’t we start at the beginning? Mr. Rich, your daughter’s conduct at this school has been spotty at best.” She placed a rather hefty folder on the desk. “This contains the various incidents the school has had to deal with over the past six months.” Filthy quickly leapt to the defence.

“My daughter has done nothing wrong!” he countered sharply. “The problem is those three blank flank fillies that continuously cause chaos.” Well, I guess we know where that taunt comes from now. Cheerilee narrowed her eyes at him. I stepped back in.

“Mr. Rich, you are an educated stallion, let me pay you the compliment of being blunt. I have seen first hoof how your daughter behaves towards other students, and she is nothing short of the devil. She is mean, she is vindictive and she thinks she can get away with it.” Filthy bristled at that.

“In any case,” Cheerilee said. “According to several students and Mr. Star here, it was your daughter’s actions that were largely responsible for this incident.” Now, he snapped.

“Are you kidding me, you stupid mare! That horn head tried to hurt my daughter and you are punishing her?!” Cheerilee reverted to her’ teaching mode’.

“Filthy! I will not tolerate such slurs in my classroom!” she warned sternly. “Mr. Star will be reprimanded and you will be receiving an apology from him personally.”

“Ah do agree my actions were just a mite rash. Two wrongs don’t make a right after all,” Blade Star said.

“That they don’t, Bones. That they don’t,” Applejack added.

“However,” Cheerilee went on. “He claims his actions were motivated by the actions of your daughter towards Apple Bloom. In which case, the long standing issue of your daughter’s attitude must be addressed.”

“Were we back on Earth,” I said. “Or in a larger school. It would simply be a matter of moving either the Crusaders, or Diamond Tiara into another class. Of course, that isn’t really possible here in Ponyville. As a result, we are going to need to come to some sort of compromise. Both Cheerilee and I are sick and tired of having to play Royal Guards keeping them apart.” Filthy instantly prepared a comeback, undoubtedly trying to shift the blame onto the Crusaders and away from his perfect little filly. I quickly did my best to beat him to the punch. “Both your daughter and the Crusaders will have to give ground.”

Both sides paused for a moment to think. My son and Applejack were more than happy to cooperate. Like me, they were sick of Diamond Tiara’s bullying, particularly as she seemed to have turned a corner previously. Filthy on the other hoof, was not so inclined.

This wasn’t the first time Cheerilee has tried something like this with Diamond Tiara. After all, she does seem to go after the entire class at some point. The trouble is the Filthy has a fair amount of influence and was usually able to make parents drop their complaints. But the Apples were not going to go quietly like that. What Diamond Tiara had said…well, there are some things you just don’t say.

Anyway, this time, the problem wasn’t going to go away, so Filthy would have to agree to something. Snorting irritably he answered.

“Fine, what are you proposing?” I unveiled the master plan Cheerilee and I had come up with.

“Firstly, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo will each promise not to do or say anything to cause trouble between themselves and Diamond Tiara.” Whilst Diamond Tiara was a bully, on occasion the Crusaders had goaded her a little. Plus, given Filthy semi-hostile attitude, it seemed best to open with something that went in his favour.

“Secondly, Diamond Tiara is not to go near the Crusaders, either in class or at recess.” Difficult to enforce, I know, but traditional tactics to stop problem behaviour between students wasn’t working all that brilliantly. I mean, this whole incident had been brought on by the Crusaders not reacting to the bullying.

“And finally, all five of them should consider themselves on notice. Any further incidents between them, and there will be severe repercussions, for the lot of them.” If mutually assured destruction worked for world peace for getting on for sixty years, surely it can keep five kids in line. I looked to both parties. “Does that sit alright with everypony? Apple Bloom?” The yellow filly nodded, adding that she would pass this on to her friends. “Diamond Tiara?” Sullenly, she too agreed. Cheerilee stepped in.

“Okay then. Now that we’ve established that, we can hopefully go back to a more comfortable school environment. I thank you all for coming in to settle this so quickly.”

And with that, the assembled ponies departed, the new spirit of an uneasy truce filling the air. The whole issue was by no means solved. What we had done was about as much a resolution as the truce between North and South Korea. But still, at least now we wouldn’t have to deal with it every single day.

With the classroom empty of everypony except me and Cheerilee, we both had a chance to catch our breaths.

“Did we just do that?” I asked. Okay we hadn’t solved the whole issue, but with any luck, we’d both have a much easier time with lessons.

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens on Monday,” Cheerilee replied, leaning back into her desk chair.

“Speaking of Monday,” I continued. “Will I be taking the class on my own for the first half of the week, or have you and Big Mac got a weekend slot booked.” Cheerilee smiled.

“We did manage to get a weekend slot in the end. The two of us are going to head off tonight and we should be back early on Monday. I’d be happy to come in if you want me to,” she offered.

“No, no, goodness, Cheerilee,” I replied. “It’s a simple enough start on Monday, and with things hopefully a bit quieter around here I don’t think I’ll have any problems. You take the Monday off and then come back in as usual on Tuesday. Sound fair?” Cheerilee nodded in agreement and headed out the door, undoubtedly to go meet up with Big Mac and pack her stuff.

“But you’re still going to mark those mid-term papers, right?” I called after her. The two of us laughed as I locked the schoolhouse up for the weekend.

Interlude 18 - The Tornado Run

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Well, today was set to be the start of a busy week. We’d already been working our rear ends off for the past fortnight. When the…stuff…happened, we lost our ability to control the weather, and it began to just drift around on its own. Even though what happened was over fairly quickly, less than a day in fact, there were still a lot of rogue weather patterns far from where they were supposed to be.

Regardless of how we felt, we all had to get back to work. In a way it was a blessing in disguise. The heavy workload kept us busy, kept our minds off…other matters. We all ended up having to work as one big team, trying to get everything in our sector back under control and moved to where it was supposed to be. Luckily, nothing had started up, so there were no renegade thunderstorms to deal with.

Orders across the board were fairly simple, if it wasn’t an empty cloud, get rid of it. Dry weather was needed for repair work, what little was needed. At least the damage wasn’t that bad, apart from Twilight’s library of course, though she does now have this really cool shiny tree castle now. At the end of the week, we were all completely shattered.

Unfortunately, like it or not, the Weather Patrol still had to follow a strict operations schedule to keep everything going. Next week on my calendar was circled in red ink and read ‘Tornado Week’.

Usually, only ponies who are actually serving in the Weather Patrol do weather work. Most pegasi can usually do something, but a lot of pegasi aren’t employed for weather work, like Fluttershy for example.

However, this week, it would be a case of all hands on deck. You see, rain in Equestria came from rainclouds manufactured by Cloudsdale. Turning ground fog or moisture into clouds took a lot of time and effort. So it was easier to send vast amounts of water up to Cloudsdale and then get weather patterns as and when we needed them. However, the only way to do this was by tornado. Effectively, we would funnel up all the water in surrounding lakes that had accumulated over the winter. The problem was, to create something of that scale, the dozen or so ponies of the Ponyville Weather Patrol were not sufficient. We couldn’t generate enough power to create a tornado powerful enough to push the water up to Cloudsdale and also control it. So, each tornado week, the draft went out. All able bodied pegasi from the ages of eighteen to sixty five were required to report for duty. You took a standard wingpower test, and if you passed that, you joined the section.

We would need eight hundred to lift the water and keep everything stable, and we had just about that much available. But of course, we had to assume some ponies wouldn’t be able to help, either due to sickness, injury or other issues.

Fluttershy and I were both helping out. Fluttershy may have lower than average wingpower, but she could still do her bit. Last year was the first time she participated actually. Apparently, she used to get badly teased as a filly for her low wingpower rating. And of course this year, Twilight, with her newly acquired wings would also help out. As an alicorn, she was a very strong flyer, although not yet very talented if you ask me. Then we had our standard patrol, including Rainbow, as well as all the other pegasus ponies who were fit for duty. The start of the week, when she and I were supervising training, Dash told me how things would work.

“Okay, Lizzie, listen up. This tornado is going to be more powerful than anything you’ve ever worked with before. You’ll be flying in close formation with other ponies, at distances of less than ten feet inside a vortex filled with rain, wind, and a lot of turbulence. No matter what, you will get knocked about up there. The key thing is to hold your position with the rest of your section and keep yourself level. Remember, only the water goes up, not you. The trick of it is the poor visibility; you won’t have much of a horizon and it will be dizzy as hay.

“However, I also know that you are one heck of a good flyer. You’ve done storm work with the patrol before so I know you can handle the conditions. That’s why I’m doing this.” She hoofed me a small gold badge.

“What’s this, Rainbow?” I asked curiously. Dash smiled.

“That, Lizzie, is your section leader badge. Instead of me trying to coordinate everything and everypony, Twilight suggested we split up into smaller groups, each one working at a certain altitude. I’ll take the bottom, where the tornado will be roughest. Thunderlane will be above me and then you’ll be the next level up. You pass it on to Flitter and then Cloudchaser helps the water make landfall at Cloudsdale. You wear that badge whenever you’re on duty from now on.” I quickly fastened it to my jacket.

I figured this was more than normal weather work when they gave me a flying suit as well as a cap and goggles. Most weather work, you don’t need any of that stuff. I’d used goggles before; standard issue when you do storm work or anything with high winds. This however, was a whole different ballgame.

“So who do I have with me then, Rainbow?” I asked, eager to know. Rainbow reached for a clipboard.

“Okay, you are gonna be working with, oh hey, Fluttershy, Bluebell and Dewdrop.” Dash quickly pointed out the two ponies I wasn’t familiar with.

Bluebell, who had a purple-blue coat a dirty blond mane and a cartoon cloud for a cutie mark, was busily doing wing-ups next to the track whilst some of her friends did their test runs. She was a veteran of these tornados and according to Dash, would make a good second in command.

Dewdrop on the other hand, was a new arrival in Ponyville, and had only recently turned eighteen, meaning this was his first tornado. He had a turquoise coat and a lighter blond mane. His three raindrop cutie mark made me think he had a talent with rain. But those things are fickle in their meaning.

Fluttershy of course had done this sort of work before, but last year had been a big step for her according to Dash. Hopefully, with me at her side, she would have no trouble this year. Dash and I both headed over to the pair so I could introduce myself.

“Alright you two,” Rainbow said. “This is Lizzie, she’s gonna be running your section for the tornado on Friday.”

“Hi, Lizzie,” Bluebell said, offering a hoof. “Your Margaret’s daughter aren’t you?”

“How’d you know?” I shook her hoof.

“Oh, my son Blu is in her class at the elementary school,” she replied. “She told me how you’d managed to get yourself a spot on the full time patrol. It ‘ll be nice to fly with somepony with storm experience.” Bluebell seemed like a nice pony, easy going and friendly, like most Ponyville residents. I then turned to Dewdrop.

Unlike Bluebell, Dewdrop was far less experienced in flying. Plus, as a relative newcomer to town, he didn’t yet really have all the social side of things down. I knew how that felt, not knowing too many people in a new town.

“And you’re Dewdrop, right?” I asked, offering my hoof. The young stallion hesitantly shook it.

“Oh, erm, yes. I moved out here from Las Pegasus last month. I’m not really sure I’m going to be much use to you though. I’ve never really done much in the way of weather work, or flying.” I smiled kindly; the guy was kind of adorable in his bashfulness.

“Hey, no worries,” I replied. “I haven’t been at this that long. I’ve only got a couple of months under my belt. We’ve got plenty of time to train you up. Besides, you aren’t the only one, Fluttershy used to be a pretty nervous flyer too. C’mon, how about we meet up with her and get some practice in?” Dewdrop brightened up a little at that. Knowing you aren’t the only one who is new takes a lot of the pressure off.

I quickly took off and my new friends followed. I used the trip over to Fluttershy’s to see how good they were at regular flying. We practiced a few manoeuvres like sharp turns, rolls, loops and the like. Both were fairly competent in the air. But like Dash said, this wouldn’t be about fancy flying; it would be about keeping steady in some of the worst weather conditions a pegasus could imagine.

The three of us touched down at Fluttershy’s just as she was finishing up feeding the animals she was currently taking care of. Along with Angel of course. Despite the fact that I am clearly not leaving his home anytime soon, he still doesn’t really like me that much. He’s stopped the biting and clawing, but he still gives me the stink eye when he thinks Fluttershy isn’t looking. Luckily, with his carer present, he was keeping quiet and just not looking at me. Most of the other animals I get along fine with, even those that seemed scary at first, like that bear she looks after on occasion. I do try to help whenever I can, but the Weather Patrol is a full time job, regardless of how laid back Rainbow seems.

“Hey, Fluttershy, good news. I just talked to Rainbow Dash in Ponyville Park. She’s not only letting me lead a section during the tornado, but she assigned you to the same one. We’ll be able to work together for pretty much the whole week.” Fluttershy smiled as she…well, fluttered over to us.

"Oh, so we’ll be working in pairs?” she asked, sounding interested.

“Not pairs. Twilight put everypony into sections of four ponies each. Bluebell and Dewdrop here will be our squad mates. I figured we could do a little bit of training here. Rainbow said to practice as much close formation flying as possible.” Fluttershy retreated a little at that.

For all the way she has come with her shyness, she still has a little bit of trouble meeting new ponies, especially if they are introduced without prior notice. Even more unfortunate, was that Bluebell was a massive extrovert and quickly invaded Fluttershy’s personal space. Dewdrop was a lot more understanding and held off for a minute.

“Well hello there, Fluttershy. I’ve heard a lot about you. I sure as hay remember how you saved our hides last year,” she said, shaking her hoof warmly. Now to Bluebell, this was a friendly greeting, but Fluttershy was a little overwhelmed by it. Still, doing her best, she managed to reciprocate.

“Oh, erm, pleased to meet you Bluebell,” she said, only slightly below normal volumes. Once upon a time, she’d have hidden behind her own mane and spoken so softly you couldn’t hear her if you were a millimetre away.

Dewdrop’s introduction went a bit more smoothly. As a bit of a shy stallion himself, he kept his distance a bit more and Fluttershy was far more relaxed as a result. With the meet and greet done, we set about organising ourselves.

“Right, Rainbow said that during the tornado, each section will be responsible for a certain altitude. We’re going to be the third level, with two more above us. All we have to do is keep the tornado going where we are. In other words, fly around and around in a circle until our wings come off.” That got a chuckle out of everypony.

“Because the levels are going to be close together, we’ll be passing close to a lot of other ponies. So, we need to practice both precision flying on a fixed course and altitude, as well as formation flying. By the end of the week, when the tornado is due, we need to be able to do all that in driving rain, high winds and rubbish visibility.

“For starters, I say we go with the simplest part, formation flying. Once we get used to flying close to each other and holding our position in the group, we’ll start practicing manoeuvres in formation. And then lastly, we can set up some small weather patterns here to simulate the conditions we’ll be flying in. That make sense to everypony?” The other three pegasi nodded.

So, with open sky all around Fluttershy’s cottage, we took off and began to practice. I’d done some formation flying before. You have to keep in position when you are working with large weather patterns, but this was much closer. Sometimes, over the wingbeats, you could hear the ponies around you breathing, or hear their manes getting ruffled by the wind.

We practiced flying in a diamond formation. I, as section leader, lead the flight and the others were to mimic my movements whilst holding their spot in the formation. A little way back and to my left was Bluebell. She was the effective second in command, as she had the most experience. Opposite her, behind me and to my right, was Fluttershy. And then directly behind me and the others was Dewdrop, who was the ‘tail-end Charlie’ as my brother called it.

When we began, we weren’t anywhere near as close as we would need to be on the day. To start with, we all had a time just holding position. Precision flying is damned difficult and at first instead of a tight diamond shape of four ponies, you had a triangle followed by a large square, then a rhombus, all far too large to work properly. We even had the one crash. As we were trying to form a diamond shape of any size, I slowed down to allow the others to catch up and Dewdrop…didn’t. He crashed into me, rear ending me, and we both dropped to the ground. Luckily, neither of us was hurt.

After that mishap though, which resulted in continued stammering apologies from Dewdrop and a bit of teasing from Bluebell, we steadily began to improve. First, we managed to get ourselves flying in a more stable fashion, and then, as the day went on, we steadily began to reduce the distance between each of us, until eventually, we were in the sort of close knit diamond formation we’d need on the day.

We kept practicing throughout the afternoon, taking breaks every now and again to avoid exhausting ourselves. We were doing quite well, until Fluttershy’s other roommate decided to pay call on us.

We were currently practicing performing manoeuvers in formation, such as sharp turns and speed changes, as well as practicing flying in circles for extended periods whilst holding our formation. Things were going swimmingly until a long serpentine blur shot through us and a voice cut through the air like scratching on a chalkboard.

“Daka-daka-daka-daka-daka-daka-daka-daka-daka!” Discord called, imitating machine gun fire. Completely caught off guard, we all broke formation and scattered. After seeing what it was that had caused the noise, we all steadily reformed. The annoying flying draconequus pulled up alongside us.

“Discord!” I called angrily. “What the hay was that for?!” Discord grinned and continued his act.

“How many times do I have to tell you?” he exclaimed in a faux-British accent. “Never fly straight and level for more than thirty seconds or you’re a dead duck!” I rolled my eyes at his antics.

“Discord, we’re training for tornado duty, not repelling an attack by the Luftwaffe!”

“My point is still valid,” he replied in his usual voice. “Anyway, how come I haven’t been asked to help out?”

“Simple,” I replied. “If we had you working the tornado, it would probably pull Cloudsdale down instead of pushing the water up!” At this point, Fluttershy broke in.

“Discord, please. We’re all training really hard for this tornado and we need to practice. You can stop by tonight if you want, but unless you want to help us, please leave us be.” Acquiescing, Discord snapped his talons and disappeared from sight, leaving us alone to continue practicing.

Even though it was annoying, it was still nice to see Discord back to his usual pranking ways again. After what happened, the guy had gone quiet for about a week. Nopony had heard a peep out of him, not even Princess Celestia. Still, it was understandable, given his…mistake a few weeks back. Still, it’s pretty much a case of ‘all is forgiven’ now. He took the same punishment as us and did in the end help to stick that monster back where he belongs. Regardless of what else I might say about him, Discord is chaotic, not evil. Both Fluttershy and I agree on that.

Several days later, we were pretty much ready to go. With our new ability to fly in very close formation, we quickly began to pile on the pressure. We could now hold formation and keep flying in a circle, which would be needed to create the tornado, even in really bad weather conditions. Even better, Fluttershy had been able to enlist the help of some of her animal friends. Hawks, eagles and other large birds repeatedly buzzed us as we tried to stick to our course, as a way of mimicking the other pegasi above and below us who would be passing very close to us.

But best of all, Discord managed to find something he could do to help out. Originally, I’d planned to set up small weather systems around Fluttershy’s cottage to simulate the weather we’d be flying in. But with Discord’s help, we were able to practice in cloud and driving rain, just as we would on the day.

Okay, the rain was actually chocolate milk and the clouds were made of cotton candy, but it still helped. By the time the big day rolled around, we were all ready. And, based on what I had heard from Rainbow, everypony else was raring to go too. Due to past experience, Rainbow had become obsessive over infection control during the week. The day before we were due to go, everypony involved, as in, all the pegasi in Ponyville, had to go to the doctor’s for a check-up. We lost the odd pony, but we still had sufficient wingpower. Thunderlane in particular made sure that he didn’t come down with anything.

Finally, our day of reckoning arrived. Early in the morning, just as the sun was coming up, the four of us met up at Fluttershy’s cottage and headed off to town together. The sky was completely clear, with no traffic for miles. We didn’t want to have to worry about anything else this week, so the whole area was treated to a week of clear weather. After getting in a good breakfast and donning our flight suits, caps and goggles, we all took off and headed for town. Discord joined us as well, wanting to wish Fluttershy good luck. He’d also be helping out on the ground.

When we reached Ponyville, we quickly headed to the park where the lake was to meet up with the rest of the Weather Patrol and the other sections. When we arrived, the place was a hive of activity, with dozens of pegasi going to and fro, practicing, organising themselves and doing final checks. Once we landed, I quickly sought out Rainbow. She was with Twilight and oddly enough, my parents.

“Hey, everypony,” I said as we landed nearby. Dash quickly came over.

“Good, you’re here, Lizzie. Each of you, take one of these.” She gave us each what looked like a bluetooth earpiece.

“What’s this?” Dewdrop asked.

“Communicators,” Twilight replied proudly. “Everypony is going to need to stay in contact to coordinate this thing, but it will be almost impossible to talk over the wind and rain. So, these will let you talk to each member of your section directly, as well as everypony else. Everypony has their own call sign in the air. You guys will be part of red section.” We all nodded and placed the devices in one of our ears and checked them. “Each section will have somepony on the ground watching them too.”

“Who is ours then, Twilight?” I asked.

“That would be me,” my brother replied, emerging from behind my parents. “Mom and Dad are a mite nervous, Sis. They wanted somepony they trusted to keep an eye on ya.” He gestured to his own earpiece. I turned to my parents.

“Don’t worry, Mum,” I said reassuringly. It’s always her who gets worried about me. “We’ve practiced this thing all week. We can cope with anything this tornado throws at us.” At that point we were interrupted by Dash.

“Alright everypony, time to go to work. Each section is to get airborne and follow the instructions of their controllers. Now let’s make a tornado!” And with that, we were off.

We all took off and headed away from the park. The various sections would all form up a ways off and then be guided into position by their controllers. We were the last group in red section, which consisted of Dash’s section, Thunderlane’s, and us. The three sections above us were gold section and would come in from the opposite side of the park.

With everypony formed up in their sections and ready to go, Rainbow made a sharp left turn and led us towards the park again. She’d go in first and form a small tornado with her section, and then each section following would add to it until we hit eight hundred wingpower. Then each section would pass the water upwards until it reached Cloudsdale. As we headed in Dash performed a final radio check.

“All wings report in,” Dash’s slightly garbled voice came over my earpiece. Steadily everypony checked in. Thunderlane and his section came first. Dash already knew her lot were ready.

“Red ten, standing by.”

“Red seven, standing by.”

“Red three, standing by.”

“Red six, standing by.”

“Red nine, standing by.” That was Bluebell.

“Red two, standing by.” Fluttershy.

“Red eleven, standing by.” Dewdrop. Now me.

“Red five, standing by,” I called. That was everypony in our section. Then, my brother jumped in, clowning around a bit.

“Lock S-foils in attack position,” he called, laughing a little to himself.

“Blade Star, stop messing around; this is serious,” Twilight ordered. The radio went quiet as we approached.

Dash and her section went into a steep spiral dive and began to circle the lake at low altitude. Quite quickly, the beginnings of the tornado appeared and we began to feel the effects of the increasing wind; it got more and more difficult to keep stable.

“We’re bouncing through the vortex,” Dash called. “Hold tight, everypony.”

With their part stable, Dash called Thunderlane and his four pony team in to take the next level.

“Alright Thunderlane, you can start your entry now,” she instructed. “But watch yourself, there’s heavy wind shear from the right side of the lake.” Thunderlane and his section turned and began to head in.

“Sweet Celestia, look at the size of that thing!” Thunderlane exclaimed as he closed on the already large storm.

“Cut the chatter, Thunderlane!” Dash ordered. “Accelerate to tornado speed.”

“Right, Dash. We’re in position. I’m going to cut across the axis and try to get in through your wake.” And with that, the four ponies disappeared inside the storm, which quickly grew in size. I could hear the two sections coordinating.

“Heavy winds, Dash, twenty degrees,” her second in command called.

“I see it. Stay low, everypony,” Dash replied. Now it was our turn.

“This is red five; I’m going in.” The four of us headed into the maelstrom. In spite of our practice, it was still a hell of a thing to fly in. The winds sucked us down quickly, far lower than we needed to be. For one horrifying moment, we all saw Thunderlane and his section, and I feared we might crash.

“Lizzie! Pull up!” Dash called desperately, seeing how close we were to Thunderlane’s section. With effort, we managed to get back to the altitude we were supposed to be at. “Are you guys alright?” Dash called.

“We got a little soaked but we’re okay,” I replied.

We were now in the heart of the storm and began flying our pattern. Even with goggles on it was difficult to see. With no horizon it quickly became a daunting task just to work out which way was up. Every now and again, I saw fleeting flashes of other ponies as sections both above and below us passed close by. All sorts of radio chatter went back and forth as we all tried to stay coordinated. Eventually, I heard that the last part of gold section was in position near Cloudsdale. My brother came over the radio again.

“Squad leaders, the main body of water is heading your way now.” I looked around, aside from the driving rain; I couldn’t see anything in the way of water.

“That’s a negative; I can’t see anything,” I replied.

“Keep up your visual scanning,” Dash advised.

“Here it comes,” Thunderlane warned gravely.

And that was when I saw it. This huge cylinder of water was slowly rising up from the eye of the storm. It was like a looking at a rough sea; you could see white tops and everything. But worse, as the water was spinning with the tornado, a pony could easily get pulled into it. Very quickly ponies got into trouble.

“Watch it; it’s nipping at your tail!” Dash warned one of her squad mates. Far below, I saw a pony struggling to pull away from the water. In one horrifying moment, the water completely engulfed them, before spitting them straight out of the storm. We heard a strangled cry over the radio. Luckily though, a few moments later my brother came back on.

“Don’t worry guys, Cloud Kicker’s okay, just a bit shook up. Shake it off and keep focussed. If we lose too many the whole storm could collapse.” I breathed a sigh of relief at the news and quickly returned to the task at hand. A few moments later though, I heard from Dewdrop.

“Watch your back, Lizzie. Watch your back! The water above you is trying to suck you in!” he warned, sounding frightened. I felt the mass begin to pull at me, and despite my own increased efforts, I began to lose my position, my squad mates drifted away. My brother again entered the conversation, sounding just as worried.

“Red six, can you see red five?” he asked.

“The water’s starting to suck other ponies in,” Bluebell answered.

“Red five, where are you?” I heard my brother ask.

“I can’t get clear of the water!” I called, now deeply frightened. Luckily, help was at hand. Out of the mist, I saw Dewdrop.

“I see you, Lizzie. Hold on!” he called. Doing his best to not get sucked in too, he grabbed my hoof and between us, we were able to get back to our position.

“Thanks, Dewdrop,” I said gratefully.

“Nice work, Dewdrop,” Twilight added. It was then we heard from the ponies above us in gold section. In the time I’d been stuck, the water had started to reach Cloudsdale.

“Red leader, this is gold leader, the water has reached Cloudsdale. Just hold things for a few more seconds.” We all did our best to keep level. By now our wings were starting to ache and we were soaked to the skin. Finally, the last of the water passed us.

“It’s away!” Cloudchaser called excitedly. Quickly cheers came over the radio.

“Alright everypony, pipe down,” Dash ordered. “Let’s start easing this thing down.”

The whole group of us landed in front of the watching crowd, and were treated to the pony equivalent of a standing ovation. The lake, which had previously been full to the brim, was now at a much lower level that you would expect with the summer. The grass around the park was blown out almost like a crop circle due to the effect of the tornado making landfall. All three members of my family came up to congratulate me.

“Yee-haw, great balls of fire, Sis!” my brother exclaimed. “That was some mighty fancy flyin’ there, Ah reckon.”

“I should say so,” my dad added. “Discord told me you and Fluttershy had been practicing, but I didn’t know you guys were that good.” At that moment, I was set upon by my mom, who scooped me up in her arms.

“Oh, Lizzie!” She hugged me as if her life depended on it. “I’m so proud of you! Are you sure you’re okay though? You were nearly sucked into that thing.” I carefully pried myself away. No matter where I go or what I do, my mom will still be like that; she’s the same with Blade Star too. I mean, at this point I’ve moved out, gotten a job and am effectively an adult, but Mom will always treat me as her little girl, I just know it.

Then, out of the crowd, Dewdrop emerged. Like me, his coat and mane were matted with water, but he seemed to be standing a little straighter than before. He quickly trotted over to me.

“Hey, Lizzie. I just wanted to check you’re okay after that near miss with the storm,” he said. “Dash said you should probably have a quick physical check-up, just in case.” I nodded.

“Sure, Dewdrop. And thanks again for saving my tail back there.” It was at that moment though, his slight awkwardness returned. He rubbed a foreleg with a hoof nervously.

“And, erm, I was thinking, if you, erm, weren’t doing anything later. Maybe you might want to come and get a cup of coffee?” I started, was he asking me out?

Dewdrop was a good guy to be with. Throughout the week we’d been working together, he’d been nothing but kind and courteous. Though he wasn’t one of those annoying white knight types. It couldn’t hurt could it? I’d been thinking about how little I got out of the cottage anyway.

“Sure, why not.”

Chapter 77 - Aftermath

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I sat at the small wooden desk in my room on Sweet Apple Acres, a scowl across my features. I was hurriedly flicking my way through the pages of ‘Treatise Upon the Darker Magicks’, scanning each for the key phrases I sought. Thankfully, as it was in my possession also a few weeks ago, it had been spared the destruction of the library. The only permanent victim of Tirek, I shall forever miss that old place. So many books had been lost, turned to cinder by that overbred leech. Still, at least some had been spared, and many could be replaced.

I knew I had previously read something which sounded like Tirek’s unusual ability. To forcibly remove magic from another being is no easy feat. I know in my own case I did not let that dog take what is mine without a fight. Whilst my memory of that day remains hazy, mainly due to the delirium imposed by the loss of what we might call my ‘life force’, I do remember a few key details. I certainly remember that I was fairly sure that Twilight and the girls would prevail, though there was the odd doubt. I also remember, upon my magic returning to me, standing up, looking at the defeated Tirek, waving my hat in the air and yelling the phrase ‘Yippee kai yay, motherbucker!’ in his general direction.

Anyway, I continued to speed read through the fairly familiar text of Sombra’s writings. I doubt dark magic would have been any more useful in the crisis in any case. And personally, regardless of his own claim that he was not corrupted by his magic, when a stallion writes ‘I shall not bow before Death. Death shall bow before me.’ You know something isn’t quite right.

It was then though that I finally came upon what I was searching for. A small passage which described a spell identical to Tirek’s ability, as well as providing a few insights.

The final spell though, is by far the worst of the lot. Found in the same text, I honestly do not understand what its designer hoped to achieve. We termed the ability the ‘Siphon Spell’. Its application is similar to the spell discussed previously, in that it is bound to a practitioner’s own magic relegating it to beings capable of using active magic. The spell does precisely what its name suggests. It has the ability to siphon off magic from other users and funnel it into the practitioners own reserves. On paper, this sounds like an incredible tool.

In practice however, it was found to be severely limited. Firstly, the spell could only be used on beings weaker than the practitioner. A unicorn could not simply walk up to an alicorn and siphon them of their power, as the spell could easily be overridden, just as any other spell can be via stronger magic. To begin with then, the only viable targets were unusually weak unicorns, progressing to more powerful specimens and up through the various equine species as more power was acquired, with the alicorns presumably being top of the food chain.

Naturally, a lone practitioner using this ability would be quickly picked up. Whilst deadly in principle, without some way to speed up the absorption process, it was next to useless. For that reason alone we chose to discard it.

Sombra was, in a way correct, when he disregarded this spell. Had it not been for Discord helping him get about, a pegasus foal could have restrained him. I mean, he was loose since before the Royal Wedding and only recently gained sufficient energy to target even the frailest of unicorns. Alone, the spell was like a fire; if tackled in time quite useless. But, given the unpredictable variable that is Discord, this judgement was proven false. I do take comfort from this though. Many feared what would happen if he gets loose again. The answer is simple; nothing. He will find no ally in anypony as he has shown himself to be something of a sociopath, seeing others only as tools for his own ends. Without aid or power, he is harmless and he will not be able to so quickly take magic as he did before. As I continued to read though, I came upon something else that interested me.

However, some experiments were conducted, flagging up a more serious issue.

Now, I currently possess a level of power on par with a weaker alicorn, though I lack the inherent abilities of such a being. Whilst I am significantly more powerful than any normal unicorn, I rarely use such power. In my own experience it is how the power is used, not the amount of it that determines victory. Dark magic is intended to be a scalpel, particularly when you gain the ability to summon razor sharp crystals from the earth.

By contrast, the siphon spell had a severe handicap. Whilst with each absorption, the level of power the user had increased, there was also a correlative drop in overall intelligence. However, there were no signs of actual corruption as with the previous examples. Through study, we found that for every weak unicorn whose magic was absorbed, weak unicorns being limit of the experiment for our own safety, approximately 17 points of the practitioner’s IQ were lost. Thus absorbing too much would render a practitioner a dumb hammer, who would forget the majority of spells and become easily distracted. In our final experiment using five unicorns the practitioner became obsessed with destruction and rather than be concerned about the Royal Guards sent to restrain him, blasted every wall he could with a limited, though powerful, fire spell. As a result of these two flaws, we ceased research and returned the book to its original location, since everypony agreed that the spell was quite harmless.

It was interesting to read about Sombra prior to his takeover of the Crystal Empire. He had been something of a respected academic in his day; one of the first ponies to experiment with dark magic as a natural user. He had quickly garnered the attention and praise of Starswirl himself, though the two later fell out when he left Canterlot. It is one of the many reasons I admire him, despite his actions.

What was more interesting though was this handicap he had identified. Tirek did appear to grow increasingly aggressive as he gained magic. When he briefly took Twilight’s alicorn magic, instead of anything constructive or useful, he merely blasted the ground. And of course, like all foolish villains, he turned his back on his not-yet-defeated opponents. Hence how it came about that he, you’ll forgive the pun, ‘tasted the rainbow’. It also explained his apparent lack of knowledge regarding magic.

Discord, with his own abilities, is somewhat similar to Q and just as imaginative. Tirek on the other hand, with far more potential power, used nothing but a fire spell, levitation, and the occasional blocking technique. I grabbed a bookmark from one of the drawers in my desk and marked this section. I would bring this information to Twilight’s attention next time I had a lesson with her.

I must confess, whilst her new tree castle has an excellent library, I do not think it will ever replace the cosy wooden confines of the Golden Oaks library. Still, it is a new home yet, adjustments take time, and I am a conservative stallion, very set in my ways despite my lack of years.

Luckily, it was at that point that Applejack interrupted my wistful and nostalgic thinking.

“There ya are, Bones!” she said happily, trotting up behind me and wrapping her forelegs around me. “Ah thought ya might still be up here. Ya got that bottle of moonshine yet?” I quickly got up and reached under my bed.

AJ, Big Mac, and I were all going to Twilight’s new tree castle for a little house warming party. A lot of other ponies were going too; it was to be quite the big shindig. In line with pre-existing social customs, we had to bring a gift with us. To that end, I elected to part with some of my carefully hoarded moonshine. The party was also of course, a celebration of the most recent victory of harmony over the forces of evil, or something like that.

Grabbing the moonshine, carefully holding it in my magical grip, I quickly threw on my hat and followed Applejack downstairs. This wasn’t a fancy do, so it was just our usual get up tonight. Of course, I still had that very nice waistcoat sitting in my wardrobe, just in case. From downstairs, I heard Applejack calling me again.

“C’mon, Bones, or we’ll be late!” she called a little irritably. I’d only just managed to work my way out of the doghouse, and not wanting to get thrown back in, I quickly hurried downstairs.

Ah, yes, me in the doghouse. I suppose I should explain that. In another big step in our relationship, Applejack and I had our first fight not long ago. As was to be expected, I lost. To quote a certain cowboy; ‘I just know that there are two theories to arguing with women. And neither one works’. For a few days our relationship had been a little frosty, but AJ seems to have forgiven me now.

The argument came about because of something I did whilst dropping by Ponyville elementary. Now, I have known for some time, as we all have, that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon make a habit of picking on the Crusaders, Apple Bloom included. For the most part, they don’t let it get to them; my mom has even been helping them out a little, giving them advice here and there. However, the last incident went beyond the pale.

I’d realised, as I was cleaning the upstairs hallway, that AB had forgotten some of her homework that was due in today. Having been in the same boat a few times myself, I decided to take it in and give it to her at lunchtime. When I’d got there though, I found poor AB, in tears, with her friends doing the best to comfort her. In a low blow, even by her standards, Diamond Tiara had made some remark about her parents. Well, that doesn’t fly with me.

I wasn’t entirely stupid; I didn’t do anything to harm her in any way. I planned merely to scare her in order to stop her doing that kind of stunt again. Using an illusion spell, I mimicked the effect of dark magic use, though I didn’t actually use such magic. I then sprang out and grabbed the spiteful filly in my magic and did the upmost to put the fear of Nightmare Moon into her. Not the best course of action.

The upshot of that was that AB, Applejack, and I had to attend a conference along with Diamond and her jackass of a father. The two of us sparred a little, but we managed to get a settlement out of it in the end. I got lectured by both my mother and AJ afterwards. I was after all quite lucky Filthy didn’t ask to take the matter further.

When the two of us got home, the arguing began. AJ was quite embarrassed about having to go into school like that. I argued that I was merely sticking up for Apple Bloom. AJ retaliated by saying AB could look after herself. I then called her out over how protective she could be of the youngest Apple. In the end, it was Big Mac who came in and stopped us fighting like cats.

The next morning, the mood had been frosty. AJ took the typical female approach and kept the dispute going. As such I had to reciprocate. I was certain I was going to be the first stallion to win a fight with his marefriend. Of course that didn’t happen. Neither of us liked the way things were going, and I was genuinely concerned about how this was affecting our relationship. As a result, after three days of AJ not speaking to me unless necessary, I waved the white flag and came down from my battlements, with my tail between my legs.

Luckily though, at the same time, she had begun to cave and we were able to kiss and make up on even terms. Things had been settled for the better part of a week now. With any luck, this party would be a chance to put it behind us.

We found the large double doors already open when we arrived at the steps of the tree castle. Walking into the large open hallways, we were quickly greeted by Spike and Twilight herself. We all exchanged greetings, glad to see the other again with the continued existence of Equestria no longer in jeopardy. The rest of the girls were already here, as was Lizzie and both my parents. Twilight was doing her best to keep the party relatively small in size, rather than throw a grand banquet party. Still, the place was quite busy. I passed our gift off to Spike to put with the many others that were piling up.

The two of us stuck together for a fair while, before splitting off to go and see various ponies alone. I did my upmost to seek out Twilight, and then later my parents and Lizzie. Twilight, I merely wished to offer my congratulations to, and also to check on how she was feeling. The loss of her old home had after all hit her quite hard. I distinctly remember her redoubling her efforts to put Tirek in a box when his inaccurate attack destroyed her home, and more importantly, her books. To Twilight, and me I must confess, such an action was a sacrilege. Twilight’s books were like the animals Fluttershy cared for, and we’ve all seen what happens when you harm an animal near her.

I found Twilight regarding the large chairs in what we then were calling jokingly, her throne room. It was interesting in and of itself. This building was magical, created by the Tree of Harmony itself. We understand so little of such magic and this new building raised more questions than it answered.

“Hey, Twilight,” I said as I entered, catching her off guard for a moment. “Ah figured ya might be in here.”

“Oh, Blade Star,” she said, a little surprised. “Sorry, you startled me there.”

“Didn’t mean to, honest,” I replied, giving a disarming smile. “Ah just wanted to talk to you; see how you and Spike are holdin’ up.” I didn’t care much for moving house when I was a child, but to have your home destroyed was a whole other matter. Twilight, nevertheless though, smiled.

“It was hard when we first got here. But we’ve been lucky. A lot more stuff than you might expect was salvageable. And most of the stuff in the basement was completely unharmed. Besides, Celestia always said to try and focus on the positives. We’re all okay and I’ve got a wonderful new home.”

“Now that is true, Twilight. Ah gotta admit, Ah’m a mite jealous of this place. You have a whole library section just for just your personal books.” Twilight blushed adorably. Castle or no castle, she is still very much sticking to that tightrope between princess and book worm.

“Why don’t we head back to the party, maybe open that bottle of Luna’s moonshine you gave me?” That I was more than up for.

Returning to the main hall where most ponies were happily mingling, I sought out my parents to chat to for a bit. I needed to patch things up with Mom anyway. Like Applejack, she was pretty annoyed over the whole incident at the school. Still, I think she was also quite glad to be able to put the issue of that insufferable filly to bed.

I also had the chance to talk to Dad about a few things. Intriguingly, he told me that along with Discord, he had paid call upon the imprisoned Tirek in Tartarus. Unlike Discord though, there seems to be little hope of reforming him. Discord is chaotic, whereas Tirek is simply evil. He even seems to take pride in that fact. A typical villain, such as Sombra justifies their actions, but Tirek does not. His case is a very curious one and apparently has a great many minds in Canterlot buzzing. Even Chrysalis can be sympathised with to some extent, but not Tirek. I guess it is true when they say some people are just born plain evil.

I then bumped into Lizzie and Fluttershy, who are of course, still riding the high from their recent success with the tornado. With the addition of Twilight’s new ideas, as well as the improved communications, this year was incredibly successful. Jokingly, I’d had Rarity make up a pair of WAAF wings for her as a gift. Still, I was very proud of my little sister; even if I still had my own wings, I doubt I would have been much good in a tornado. For all my interest in flight, it was not something I enjoyed doing.

As I met up with Applejack again, Twilight called for everypony’s attention, and conversations steadily tapered off.

“Firstly, I’d like to thank you all for coming here and throwing this great party. I know it hasn’t been that long, but this place is really starting to feel like a home to me and Spike. I hope you’ve all had a good time here tonight.” There were of course, a chorus of approvals from the assembled ponies. “You’ve also been very kind with all the house warming gifts you’ve given to the two of us. Rarity, I can’t thank you enough for salvaging some of my dresses. And Pinkie, I don’t think anypony else could have helped set up the kitchens better than you and Applejack. And Blade Star, thanks for the moonshine.” I smiled and bowed.

Using her magic, Twilight poured everypony a small glass of the clear, shimmering liquid. Like most of the ponies I know, Twilight doesn’t drink heavily, but does like to indulge every now and again. Spike of course, was omitted, as was Lizzie. Rather sensibly, the legal drinking age in Equestria is twenty one, not eighteen as it was back home.

“Well everypony; a toast. To peace, prosperity, eternal harmony and most importantly of all, to life!” Just before we could all drink though, we were interrupted by Equestria’s jester.

Discord appeared in front of Twilight and Spike; dressed in a peasant’s outfit, with a prayer shawl and kippah, and burst into song.

“To life, to life, l’chaim!” he sang.

“L’chaim, l’chaim, to life!” my dad sang back. That is why you don’t show Discord musicals. Twilight quickly stepped in, the introduction throwing off her well thought out plans.

“Discord!” she exclaimed. The draconequus turned away from the assembled ponies to look at her.

“What? Can’t a fellow make a grand entrance anymore?” he enquired innocently. “Come, now, Twilight. As the good book says…” I quickly cut him off.

“The good book can wait!”

He then thankfully jumped down off the table and returned to his normal form. Twilight merely raised her glass a second time and we all downed the moonshine. The exceptionally strong moonshine. I heard more than few ponies quietly choke.

The party continued for a little while longer. I took the opportunity to talk with Discord. Even though the guy does get on my nerves sometimes, he is still no villain. Pretty much everypony has forgiven him for his indiscretion now. Personally, I think he had some kind of plan of his own. I mean, this is the guy who was content to wait in stone for just over a thousand years for his chaos spreading plants to sprout and cut off the Tree of Harmony. He isn’t one to go for the quick obvious approach; he always plays the long game. Equestria needs Discord just as much as it needs the elements.

Applejack, Mac and I decided to head home about an hour or so later. We were now getting well on into summer and the apple trees and our other crops were starting to show signs of bearing fruit. A couple months from now and we would have come full circle, having arrived here in September last year.

It was completely dark by the time we reached Sweet Apple Acres. Luckily, the moon was high in the sky and was accompanied by hundreds of stars. Our forms cast lunar shadows as we walked through the farm back to the house. We were all quite tired when we got back; Applejack and Big Mac went straight up to bed. I however, chose to stay up a little while longer and do a spot of stargazing. With the warm, clear nights, it was now much more enjoyable to stay out and look at the moon and the stars, at Luna’s work.

However, the warm temperature, combined with the moderate amount of moonshine flowing in my system and the lateness of the hour also made it quite easy to nod off. And nod off I did; I’d chosen to lie down to look at the stars and at some point rested my head on my hooves. I was quite quickly out like a light.

I found myself in the lobby of a small multi story office building. The place was fairly run down and had definitely seen better days; the paint was peeling, a few of the lights were out and everything looked as though it could do with a good cleaning. Certainly an odd place to find yourself, even in a dream.

I was partially lucid, recognising the strangeness of my new location; it certainly wasn’t Equestria. Outside, car horns honked and traffic lights clanged irritably. I could smell petrol and oil easily. I was definitely in a city, and possibly on Earth. There were two choices for me really; either I could go outside into the street, or I could head up the nearby stairs. Given that I was inside already, I elected to choose the stairs.

Working my way up, I searched for any more clues as to where I was. I was definitely on Earth, and in some period in the past. The design of the building was at least sixty years older than me. An old coin operated telephone sat in the corner, next to the stairs, the currency in use was dollars, so I was in America, and from what I could see, it was most likely some point in the early twentieth century.

I too had also changed; my Stetson was gone, and in its place I was wearing a relatively formal suit, with a trench coat and hat over it. Even more oddly, feeling inside the coat’s inside pocket, I heard my hoof tap against cold steel. Using my magic, I found a small, but none the less deadly .38 revolver. This was very odd.

Coming to the top of the stairs I found another door, just across the hall. Quickly trotting over, I regarded it curiously. It was wooden, cheap, with frosted glass panelling in the upper half. On the glass in gold lettering, was the legend ‘Star Investigations’. I assumed that was me.

The moment I opened the door, a great many blanks were filled. I was aware that this was my office. Small and tacky, just a bit run down, but nevertheless where I chose to do business, and occasionally drink. It was comprised of two rooms. In the back was my office itself where I could talk things over with prospective clients. But before that, I had something of a waiting room. I couldn’t afford a secretary, so I left it unlocked in case I had a client and the client cared to wait.

I had a client; and the client wore an obsidian crown. As soon as I saw Luna I became lucid.

“Hey there, Luna,” I said kindly, taking a moment to remove my hat and coat. “What brings ya out here?” Luna smiled and got up from where she sat.

“My duties have finally begun to ease off these past weeks, Blade Star. It has been a while since we did this, so I thought I might pay call on you. I apologise for interrupting your dream though. I had planned to contact you when you fell asleep, but your sudden collapse prevented that.” I quickly remembered that I had neglected to go to bed before ending up here.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” I replied. “But Ah was admirin’ your night at the time, princess.”

“An interesting locale you have chosen to visit, I must say. I believe this is a city on your world, something along the lines of Applewood in Equestria.” That certainly sounded about right, and given the time period I was in, it appeared I’d stepped into someone else’s shoes.

“Los Angeles, Luna. The city of angels. It seems Ah’ve inadvertently borrowed a location from the world of crime noir.” Luna raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, that would explain the…unusual attire I found myself in when I arrived here,” she said. Oh hay, my bad I guess. I blushed slightly both at the embarrassment for Luna and the nature of my own thoughts.

“I’d be happy to take you somewhere else for the night if you want,” I offered, but Luna respectfully declined.

“No, Blade Star. I merely wished to talk with you; the forum does not matter to me. Besides, I believe there is an office beyond that door.” Hastily fumbling in my jacket pocket I fished out a key and unlocked the far door. The interior was a little more taken care of, and there were a few personal touches here and there. But otherwise, it was a typical office. I settled myself in the swivel chair behind the desk and Luna took one opposite.

“Well, Ah can tell this ain’t purely a social call, Luna. What can Ah do for you?” I enquired. This was quickly followed by “Drink?” I’d found a half empty scotch bottle in the lower desk drawer.

“I’ve been kept busy as of late, Blade Star. Recent events have left many a pony with the odd nightmare to conquer. You though, have been relatively calm. There has been the odd dream here and there, but nothing requiring my intervention.”

“Perhaps Ah am calm?” I offered. “Maybe Ah’ve got faith that ya ain’t gonna be caught napping twice. That and Ah’ve got reason to trust Cerberus. Or maybe Ah’ve simply done the most logical thing, and put Tirek from my thoughts. He’s defeated and incarcerated, and the circumstances of his escape ain’t likely to repeat themselves.”

“I would have thought that, based on your previous actions, you would be demanding his head. Your father certainly is to my sister.” Luna countered.

“That achieves nothing. Now Chrysalis, on the other hoof, remains a threat for as long as she is free. Tirek does not. Even if he escaped he is quite harmless now. Such revenge would achieve nothing.” Luna then smiled contentedly.

“That is good to hear, Blade Star,” she replied.

“Oh?”

“Yes, your fixation on justice and revenge towards the changeling queen worried me for some time, particularly when my sister informed me of what happened a few months ago. It reminded me far too much of my own feelings once upon a time.” I got up from my seat and circled round to Luna.

“Luna, since Ah got here, Ah learned a lot of things. Most importantly, to focus on what matters to me, and not get all caught up in past, and maybe open up a bit to love. But don’t tell your niece Ah said that.”

“I’d say such a lesson was hammered home last week,” she added, referring to my incident at the school. I blushed and scratched the back of my neck.

“Yeah, not my finest hour.” Luna chuckled lightly.

“There is another reason I came by this night, Blade Star. I have some news which might interest you.”

“What news is that?” I asked curiously.

“My sister has chosen the location for the Summer Sun Celebration; Ponyville. It seems she views it as something of a good luck charm.” I smiled happily. I would hopefully be able to see Luna in pony soon.

“Sensible enough, considering the last time it was held there, her long lost sister was returned to her.” Luna blushed a little. “It’ll definitely be nice to have the celebration come our way again, and to have a more balanced celebration too. Ah look forward to it, princess.”

Luna and I stayed where we were for a little while longer, chatting and catching up. The office by chance happened to have a chess set in the far corner, and the two of us enjoyed a game or two. Naturally, Luna easily demolished me, but on a few occasions I managed to last for a fairly long time and I even managed to get her sweating once. Eventually though, the time came for us to part ways and return to the waking world. In my case, that meant waking up with stiff joints on the ground and Winona licking my face. Still though, we now had a lot to prepare for. I hurried inside to tell the others.

Chapter 78 - Counting Coup

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The Summer Sun Celebration was now only a couple of days away. Very soon, both princesses would descend on Ponyville; one to lower the moon, and the other to raise the sun. It’s a massively important event for Equestria and for the princesses, Celestia in particular. Nightmare Night was the day Luna and the nightmarish creature which took her form, were banished to the moon, to return in a thousand years. The Summer Sun Celebration celebrates Celestia’s victory. Far and wide everypony is happy, it’s like Hearth’s Warming, New Year’s and the Equestria Games all rolled into one.

But dear Luna, do I dislike it!

Celestia may have redressed this event as celebrating Luna coming back, but it doesn’t change its original meaning. For a thousand years, this was the day ponies cheered at the prospect of a mare being imprisoned in a place far worse than even Tartarus itself. A lot of ponies overlook a key detail in the Mare in the Moon story. They believe that in banishing Luna to the moon, she was placed on its surface and contentedly roamed around.

Wrong! If you read the text it says ‘in’. She was banished in the moon. She was locked away in complete nothingness for a thousand years. Regardless of the revised meaning, I find it difficult to cheer about such an occasion. Yes, Luna was not herself, and yes the creature that took her form was a threat. But even Tirek has the luxury of sensory perception. Such a punishment would have driven anypony else beyond insane.

Nonetheless though, this year Ponyville was once again to be the centre of proceedings. I just wish Luna had her own day, where everypony comes to watch Celestia lower the sun, and see the moon take to the skies. It undermines the supposed balance of the diarchy.

Preparations had been a little haphazard mind you. Twilight and the girls had to briefly leave for a couple of days. After studying her new castle, Twilight and the girls managed to set something off, the end result was a table top three dimensional map of all Equestria appearing in the centre of their chairs. This map sent them to an area of Western Equestria, where they discovered a truly messed up situation.

Of course, they managed to get away alright and resolved the whole situation, but this whole ‘equality’ thing stank of Orwellian thought. In Starlight’s case, according to AJ, it was very much that some were more equal than others. She’s a mix of misinterpreted communism and cultism. More importantly, she’s still on the run.

Then of course, there was the issue of Twilight’s castle. I mentioned before how she and Spike were struggling to adapt, but it soon came to a head not long after she returned. Luckily, with help from AJ and the rest of her friends, it has started to become more like a home. Even better, the girls removed the husk of the old library at last, turning it into a chandelier. I always disliked going past that in town. It reminded me of what I, and everypony else, had lost.

But I’m going off on a tangent a bit, aren’t I? Back to the matter of the Summer Sun Celebration. Whilst I didn’t fully approve of it, I was content to help out. AJ and the rest of the Apples enjoyed the festivities, so it seemed a shame to drag them down. Besides, if Luna had a problem with it, she certainly would have made it known. It’s been five years now; five times, without issue, she has lowered the moon to great fanfare, to make way for the dawn. So, I will do all I can to help. That doesn’t mean I have to do it with a smile.

Unless of course, Luna orders me to smile.

“How many more bales do ya think we’re gonna need, ‘Jack?” I called out. Applejack looked up from her own work, setting down the hay bale that was balanced on her back.

“Ah reckon bout four more on each side, Bones,” she replied. “Those chariots take a heck of a long time to stop when they’re loaded up accordin’ to Rainbow.”

The two of us were a little ways outside of Ponyville, but off Sweet Apple Acres. With both princesses’ attending the celebration in pony, there was a lot to be done. For us, the various chariots needed somewhere to land that was safe and organised. So, we were setting up a makeshift runway just outside town. This way, both the official dignitaries and the Royal Guard detachment that would accompany them, would have somewhere to land and store their kit. The two of us were laying out large hay bales on each side of what would be the runway, whilst Big Mac, using a pony powered cutter, trimmed the grass to better suit the chariot’s wheels.

Between us, we’d created a fairly wide runway about two hundred and fifty metres long. Now, that may sound short, but it was more than enough room for pegasi to land safely. After all they are, in effect V/STOL flyers. I hauled the last of my bales into position and let it drop to the ground with a soft thump. I don’t know how Applejack can manage two at a time, earth pony or no, she is exceptionally strong. And yes, I must admit, physically, she is stronger than me. But I still have magic on my side, so she doesn’t boss me around too much.

The two of us met up at the end to admire our handiwork. Big Mac promptly joined us as he finished his own task.

“Well, Ah ain’t no pegasus pony, but Ah reckon that ought to do it,” Applejack commented. “What do y’all reckon?”

“Seems good to me, AJ,” I replied.

“Eeyup,” Big Mac added in his usual way.

“We best be getting’ back to the farm then, Ah s’pose. There’s still a heck of a lot on the farm that needs doin’.” Since we would all be staying up all night on the day of the celebration, we would be doing a half day, so we wanted to be on top of everything before then.

It wasn’t that much of a walk back to the farm, we had been quite close to Fluttershy’s cottage, but the outlying orchards were still well within sight. Then again, you can, if you squint, just about make out the farm from Canterlot.

Whilst preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration took a high priority, we did have normal work to do. Chief among which was planting a few new trees in the west orchard. These weren’t saplings of course, it was far too late in the year to plant them, all of those had been done during Winter Wrap Up. No, these were, I suppose you could call them juveniles. They wouldn’t be producing fruit for another year yet, but they were ready to be planted and go on to form a new section of the orchard. Crucially though, these were a new variety of apple trees. Braeburn had brought a couple with him when he came up for the reunion. These Appleloosian reds had fared well in the dry, arid landscape of the frontier, so it was expected that they would thrive here in the interior, with a much more temperate climate.

A batch of fifty of these young trees had been shipped up here by rail and now needed to be planted. The farm doesn’t have that much in the way of greenhouses and everything pretty much shuts down for the winter, so we needed to get them into the ground quickly.

Now normally, this would have meant a whole lot of digging holes in the new orchard to plant the trees in. Applejack and Mac of course, could do that sort of thing with little trouble, but for me, as a unicorn, it could get quite tiring. Luckily though, our previous round of trial planting had left us with an excess of holes.

Twilight, in an effort to avoid her new castle, had insisted on digging far more than AJ previously needed. Around fifty or so extra planting spots were now available. As it was getting on the for high summer, there hadn’t been that much in the way of rain so the holes were still ready to use, rather than being filled with mud and dirty water. All we had to do then, was plant them, and with my levitation spell, that was simple enough.

We had to do it all in batches of course, using the carts to ferry the new young trees from the barn, where they had been stored with a small water supply, to the orchard where they were to be planted. Given that these were more than just saplings, we could only take about four at a time, so most of our work was spent going back and forth between the farmhouse and the planting ground. It would take an hour or so to get everything done. Plus we’d need to keep an eye on them all to ensure they were properly taking root and not coming down with anything, we were putting them in an unfamiliar environment after all.

Carefully easing it into the large hole Twilight had previously dug, I settled the latest tree into its proper place, making sure it was growing straight and was in deep enough to properly take root. With than done, using a shovel held in my magic, I covered the roots with earth and settled it in its new home. Satisfied, I took a moment to breathe.

Naturally, that was when Discord turned up.

In the form of a serpent, Discord dropped down into my vision, his tail allowing him to hang from the tree branches. I should be used to his ways by now, but still, due to his recent break from pranking everything that moves, perhaps I’ve grown complacent. In any case, I leapt back with a startled whinny.

“Discord!” I exclaimed.

“Care to try an apple, dear boy?” he asked, using his abilities to cause the young tree to suddenly bear a single red apple. I responded with a deadpan.

“Firstly, put the tree back the way it was, these are young’uns. And secondly, if y’all are gonna try and steal stories from religion, try on somepony who ain’t an atheist and get it right. The snake tempts the woman first.” I then tapped Discord on his flattened arrow shaped head with the shovel. That caused him to return to his usual form and unceremoniously drop from the tree.

“Ow!” he complained, rubbing his now sore head. For a moment, I actually felt guilty.

“If y’all are gonna stick around at least lend us a hoof,” I replied. Discord grinned to himself.

“But of course, happy to help out a friend.” With a snap of his talons, every single hole was filled with the new trees we wanted to plant. On the downside of course, there was the tiny issue that they were now sentient, and, judging by the way they started snapping at Winona and the birds nearby, carnivorous.

Based on my past experience with Discord, this was nothing new. Sure I was panicking and quietly having a nervous meltdown inside my head, but it was hardly beyond his norm. However, what was unusual, assuming anything the physical incarnation of chaos does can be deemed usual, was his reaction.

“Oh horseapples!” he exclaimed in annoyance. “Hang on, hang on, I’ve got it.” Snapping his talons again, the carnivorous trees were promptly replaced by the Appleloosian reds I’d been planting. All of them, all fifty trees. Had Discord just done something, nice? Out of the goodness of his heart? I looked at him with a bit of confusion. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t complaining, but I’d expected him to react in a completely different way. Normally, when I tried to tell him off, he’d either bugger off and leave me to it, or he’d simply undo whatever he had done. This was the first time he’d not only undone his usual tricks; which were apparently this time, an accident, but also actually helped out.

“Discord? You…feelin’ okay?” I asked, perplexed.

“Sorry, Blade Star. Force of habit. They should all be back to normal now, or at least they should be herbivores.”

“Discord, Ah’ve known ya for almost a year and this is the first time Ah’ve ever seen ya do something like this. Now what’s goin’ on?” I demanded.

“What? I was just being a friend. I was helping your old man out with a few things in Canterlot and thought I’d drop by.” Okay, this was now officially weird. I backed away a little, slowly.

“Discord, do me a favour and hold still for a minute will ya?” Before he had a chance to reply, I hit him with a disruption spell. I know I should have taken the more logical conclusion, but Discord being so helpful had rattled my brain a bit. The dark blue wave of magic quickly washed over him, dispelling nothing. It did however, cause him to splutter.

“What d’ya do that for?!” another voice called. It was Applejack, returning with a now empty cart. “Bones, the apple trees they’re....” she paused to look at the completed orchard “Planted?” Discord meanwhile, who was completely unphased by my spell, was dusting himself off. I quickly realised my response was a tad excessive.

“Oh, er, sorry. Just thought ya were a changeling or something, Discord. What’s got you actin’ this way anyway?” For the first time, Discord looked quite hurt.

“We’re friends, I know I might joke around, Blade Star, but I do like to help friends out every now and again.” He had an agenda, he had to. This was the guy who owns the long game.

“Did Fluttershy put you up to this?” I continued, interrogating him.

“No, she didn’t. I came to help of my own free will. Frankly, it wouldn’t hurt you to say thank you, would it?”

“Ah may not always like that overgrown sidewinder, Bones, but he’s right,” Applejack added.

I realised I was being unnecessarily harsh towards him. I tell him off when he annoys me, and now I’m on his case over being nice. Talk about a double standard. Given that he seemed so earnest, I decided to drop it.

“Alright. Thanks for helpin’ out, Discord. Ah appreciate it.” Discord, in his usual over-the-top way, bowed.

“You are quite welcome dear boy.” And with that, he vanished in a flash of light. I turned to Applejack, who was equally confused.

“What the hay was that about?”

By early evening, with darkness quickly falling, we had all assembled near our new ad hoc runway that Applejack and I had put together. Anytime now the first group of guards would be arriving by air, followed by the princesses and a further contingent of guards that would make up the QRF. They would all land and stow their kit here, as well as setting up something of a base camp. The princesses meanwhile, under escort, would go to town hall to prepare for the coming dawn.

As a high profile event, security was taken very seriously by all, particularly in light of the significance of this town and its connection to the celebration. After all there are still some bigoted ponies out there that refuse to believe that Luna has changed. Even though we had built the runway for them, we still had to keep well clear of everything. With any luck though, at some point I would have a chance to talk to Luna face to face, possibly Celestia.

We neither heard nor saw the first group of guards as they made their approach. The four bat winged thestral guards only made their presence known when they made a sudden low pass over the field. In the darkness of the night, even with the moon nearly full, they were all but invisible to the naked eye. I could understand how the Moon Shadows had been able to slaughter a solar regiment three times their own number so easily.

The group promptly touched down with near perfection and hastened over to Twilight. Bowing to her, and making Twilight blush adorably, they reported themselves. I recognised the leader’s name.

“Your highness, Swift Wing reporting. With your permission we’ll set up an overwatch position for the other guard groups.” Swift Wing was one of the few thestral guards I knew well, although it had been several months since we last spoke. He still owes me twenty bits from that card game at the officers club back in Canterlot.

With Twilight’s consent, the four guards took off again and disappeared into the night once more. Wherever they went, I knew that they would be watching all of us closely. Following them, a contingent of Celestia’s guards landed and performed the same function for their own comrades. Two more flights of pegasi and thestral followed and set up a perimeter around the runway. It was then that the princesses arrived.

Celestia and Luna, both in their chariots pulled by their finest guards began to descend from the clouds. Celestia’s ornate golden chariot glittered like the sun that the pony within commanded, a bit ostentatious if you ask me though. Luna meanwhile had her own more gothic style of vehicle, though with many ornate features. Like Luna herself though, they were more subtle than her sister’s. Each princess was accompanied by a guard, Celestia by Shining Armor, in full regimental outfit, and Luna by her own guard captain. Both princesses landed together, the two duos of guards performing a textbook two by two formation landing.

The assembled ponies of course began to cheer, shout and take photographs, despite the dark conditions. Everypony, myself included, was glad to see the two diarchs that kept this country going. Twilight happily bounded over to her former mentor, as happy to see her as she ever was. As a princess, she was somewhat exempt from usual security restrictions (a foolish move if you ask me). After conversing for a few moments and hugs being exchanged, the two princesses addressed the crowd.

“Thank you all for your kind welcome,” Celestia began. “I am so glad to have the opportunity to return to the town that saw my dear sister returned.”

“As am I,” Luna added, thankfully not using her Royal Canterlot Voice. “My sister and I both owe this town a great deal. We hope you all enjoy the festivities tonight and in the morning. We shall both see you all then.” With that, the guards escorted the princesses through the assembled crowd toward the town hall. As soon as they were out of sight everypony relaxed and began to talk amongst themselves, including the remaining guards.

Whilst a number of guards were required to look out for the two princesses and perform the duties of a security detail, the majority of the guards who had arrived in town now had some free time on their hooves. Unless something happened that required a full brigade strength response, their duties would merely be ceremonial when the sunrise came. Just as authority passes from Luna to Celestia with the dawn, so too does the defence of Equestria pass from one guard regiment to another. A fact that the Lunar Guard likes to point out to their counterparts; they’ve never been caught napping.

As was to be expected, many of these squaddies made for the Tavern. Of course, they were on duty, so alcohol was out of the question, but there was still a chance for merriment. Whilst everypony else had dispersed, I caught up with Swift Wing, who had returned from his earlier reconnaissance mission.

“Swift!” I called from across the street, catching his attention. “You and your boys headin’ to the Tavern?” Swift Wing trotted over, smiling.

“Blade Star!” he greeted, offering me a hoof. “I thought that was you down there. How’s life been treating you?”

“Ah’d say it’s been treatin’ me mighty fine, Swift. Mighty fine. So what are you guys up to then?” Swift Wing’s grin became more cunning.

“We’re heading down to the Tavern to make a few plans. Me and some of the other guys have come up with an idea to pull one over on those Bright Lights.” I was of course slightly confused.

“Er, come again, Swift?”

At that moment, we reached the familiar building that was Ponyville’s only purveyor of aqua vitae. The noise coming from within was certainly a lot louder than normal, presumably due to the place being significantly fuller than usual. Heading inside, we found the place packed like a sardine can, hot as the deserts of Saddle Arabia and loud as a battlefield. Normally, the Tavern was an odd mix of a pub and a dive bar; quiet, cosy and flowing with booze. But right now, it was as packed as a club. I could see the familiar form of Berry Punch desperately trying to keep up with orders at the bar.

Easing our way through dozens of guards of both varieties, as well as the Tavern’s beleaguered regulars, the five of us managed to find a free table towards the back. Since I was the lone civvie, I opted to get the first round in, getting a whiskey for myself, and some ciders for the on-duty soldiers.

“Now, what’s all this ‘bout a plan, Swift?” I enquired over the noise. We all huddled closer to hear each other better.

“Well, you see, Blade Star, me and some of the other guys were planning to have a little fun at the expense of these bright lights.” He gestured to the guards in the armour of the Solar Guard that filled the small pub. “Just a little something to keep them on their hoof tips, and to remind them not to mess with the Lunar Guard.”

Despite Luna having returned five years ago to this night, there was still the occasional bit of friction between both halves of the Royal Guard. Both sides had had a thousand years to vilify the other and paint history in the way they desired. As a result, in addition to the normal slurs that guards may throw at each other, both sides sometimes refer to the other as ‘rebels’. Both sides, to this day, claim that they were in the right.

The issue stems from the thestrals not knowing about Nightmare Moon. All they heard on that darkest of days, was that Luna had been defeated and banished to the moon. As a result, they fled Equestria in a self-imposed exile and only returned when Luna did. Of course, when they heard of Nightmare Moon, they were outraged. To a thestral, that mare is the anti-Christ and hated more than anything else. They despise her for taking Luna’s place along with a whole slew of other vaguely religious sounding arguments. Until that day, five years ago, they believed things happened quite differently.

While records on both sides are sketchy at best, the thestrals saw the war as a coup by Celestia to take power for herself, since they did not know the extent of Luna’s corruption. Upon leaving Equestria and setting up in the mountains, the senior guard commanders declared themselves to be a provisional government, and the Equestrian government-in-exile. Of course, everything changed five years ago tonight, and they quickly fell into line with their princess, reaffirming their loyalty to the diarchy, which they always claimed to have defended.

Anyway, to get to the point, since each side regards the other as the reformed bad guy, there is still the odd bit of distrust and conflict. Most of it is just the typical odd camaraderie between soldiers though. Each side likes to show it can outperform the other and based on what Swift Wing had told me, tonight was to be the turn of the thestrals.

“Alright, what are ya plannin’ to do then?” I enquired. Swift looked around before replying.

“Do you know what counting coup is, from Buffalo culture?” he asked. I nodded. Whilst I’m not overly familiar with the buffalo tribes, I do know a little bit about Native American practices. A coup was a deed performed in battle. Often it involved touching an enemy and escaping unharmed, or taking horses or food from their camp without being detected. Counting coup was the winning of prestige by such acts, each one being indicated by wearing a feather.

“Okay, so what’s this got to do with this here plan of yours?”

“We’re gonna pull off a coup, Blade Star. We just need to think of something to take.” Looking over at me, he saw my disapproving look. “Oh, we aren’t gonna steal anything, we’ll give whatever it is back to them in the morning.” My glare softened.

I always considered myself a staunch supporter of Luna, and since it was all only going to amount to an overblown practical joke (and therefore did not technically count as a coup), it didn’t seem too risky. The whole point of the exercise was to get away without being caught. And it would be an opportunity to test my own magic ability too.

“Alright, I’m in.”

The five of us; me, Swift Wing, and his three friends left the Tavern and headed back to the farm. The Royal Guard encampment was nearby, just a ways outside the farm. Plus, I needed to pick up a few things. When we got there, I quickly grabbed the confederate jacket Rarity had kindly made me and threw it on.

Hey, if I’m going to be a partisan ranger, I might as well dress as one. The others all had their armour, which made them indistinguishable from their counterparts, but in the event we were caught, I would surely be recognised. The jacket’s tail hid my cutie mark nicely, but for good measure, I dug out a black bandana from one of my drawers and pulled my hat down low.

“Alright fellers,” Swift Wing said as I returned. “Let’s get to work.”

Chapter 79 - The Equestrian Job

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Leaving Sweet Apple Acres, the five of us carefully worked our way toward where the Royal Guard had set up shop, not too far from the little runway Applejack, Mac and I had constructed. It was hardly Camp Bastion, made up of only a few tents here and there and encircled by a wire fence, but it was being fairly well guarded. It was here after all that the stallions of the Solar Guard were preparing for their ceremonial duties, in other words, standing around and looking professional. In particular, somewhere in there, Shining Armor was preparing himself. He would stand alongside Celestia as both her personal guard and a representative of the Crystal Empire. As such, he would be in his full ceremonial armour.

Far more ornate than the typical fare, his armour was unique, gold with purple accents on the saddle, as well as a purple star clasp. The helmet was just as ornate, almost completely purple with a gold trim. It was this which we had decided to ‘borrow’. We’d taken a leap out of some American history; an incident I had related to Swift Wing, when a group of Confederate cavalrymen had successfully entered a Union camp and made off with the commanding officers greatcoat. Getting clean away with Shining’s helmet, one of his most prized possessions, would definitely show them up. And after all, successfully absconding with your enemy’s property did count as a coup.

Swift was handling most of the planning. We would need to sneak into the camp, make our way to near enough the centre, avoiding the patrolling guards and Shining Armor himself, enter his tent and get away either without being noticed, or quickly enough to evade pursuit.

Our small band paused on the crest of the hill which overlooked the camp. We still had a few hours to go before the sun was due to rise; more than enough time to do what we wanted and return the helmet when we were done gloating. The relatively dark night, though there was a decent moon, would also help us, although several of the patrolling unicorn guards were using their magic to light the area.

“What d’ya reckon, Swift?” I asked quietly, looking down on the camp from our position on the hillside. Swift had been scrutinizing everything for the past five minutes looking for an opening.

“Not sure yet. It’s not exactly ideal is it? It’s gonna be pretty difficult to sneak by all of those ponies.” Suddenly, we were startled by a new voice.

“Perhaps I can be of help?” Instinctively, we all ducked down in a vain effort to avoid being spotted, but our new friend was directly behind us, having snuck up on us without being noticed. I cursed inwardly our collective stupidity at not having posted a single sentry to watch our backs.

Turning around, we looked to see who it was that had caught us and stopped our plan dead in its tracks. In the moonlight, I beheld a blue stallion with a brown mane and an eye patch. It was Strong Shield. But he wasn’t in his armour. I would have expected he’d be in charge of things down there, but at present he looked like any other civilian.

“Strong Shield?” I asked. “Are y’all off duty?” Strong Shield snorted a little irritably.

“I’m off duty, Rookie. And likely to remain off. The princess put me on temporary leave.” Swift wing then spoke up.

“I thought I heard ponies talking about that; sorry, Captain,” he said politely. “Any idea when they’ll say you’re fit for ops?”

“Give me a few weeks, I’ll be back to my old self in no time.” He smiled to hide the sadness he felt. Given that he, like a lot of us underwent a recent traumatic experience, it was logical to assume it had set off his problems again. There are so many names for what my friend has. But I think the name my grandmother gave it is best suited; she simply called it ‘The Horrors’. I expect that recent events triggered and worsened his PTSD making it unsafe to let him continue working full time. Still, I know for a fact it can be partially overcome in time, and I hoped that would be the case for him; Strong Shield is a career soldier, it would be foolhardy to retire him. I’m sure Celestia knows that.

“So, Ah guess y’all are gonna go down there and tell ‘em what we’re up to?” I asked. But strong Shield shook his head.

“Tartarus, no, Rookie. If you idiots are going to try and break in there,” (he’d clearly heard everything) “Then you’re going to need my help. And I wouldn’t mind getting in some action anyway.” Breathing a sigh of relief, we filled the captain in on our plan. I smiled inwardly, with a changeling helping us infiltrate this camp, we couldn’t lose! Of course, none of the others knew that.

Working quickly, and undoubtedly enjoying the opportunity to practice his skills again, Strong Shield revised our plan. Although to be honest, he more like came up with the plan in the first place. Our own ideas amounted to little more than ‘let’s hope we don’t get spotted’. Strong Shield offered something more…subtle.

First of all, he sent away two of Swift’s friends to find a chariot. When we made our move, it would result in everypony in the camp being alerted, so we needed a quick method of escape. Two thestrals could get a chariot airborne and disappear into the night in a matter of seconds.

With that done, he then sent a third thestral, Nutmeg, down into the camp. With some persuading, he was convinced to take a proverbial dive. The guards were too many to sneak by, as Swift had already realised. So he would sneak down there, intentionally draw the attention of the guards and then bolt. Hopefully, a number of the guards would pursue him, giving us an opening, and making the entry into the camp easier.

That just left Swift, Strong Shield and myself. I was quickly ordered to lose the bandana since it didn’t help me blend in, or disguise who I was, (since who else wore a Stetson and confederate jacket?), and apparently it made me look like an idiot. The three of us would sneak into the camp and make a grab for Shining’s helmet. It would have to be done quickly as, inevitably, the guards that had been temporarily drawn off would return. At some point we would be noticed.

The plan then was to quietly sneak back to here for our rendezvous, and then get on board the chariot that would be waiting, then lose any pursuers by guile and agility. We could then return to the Tavern to claim our victory. It seemed like a solid plan, particularly when Strong Shield opened with the phrase ‘Hang on, lads. I’ve got a great idea.’.

So, the first order of business was to send the two thestrals off to fetch a chariot, not an especially difficult task. However, to be on the safe side, we decided to wait until they got back before making our move. It would do us no good to get out of the camp and then find ourselves with no method of escape if things had gone wrong. The helmet was quite a heavy thing to carry, even with magic, so we wouldn’t be able to outrun any chasing guards on foot.

Luckily, our two comrades were not gone long. After disappearing into the night, they quickly returned with a typical Royal Guard tandem chariot. Over smooth ground we could easily outrun our pursuers, and if the situation called for it, the two thestrals could take to the skies.

“Alright you two; good job,” Strong Shield commended. “Now, get it stowed away under that scrub over there, we don’t want you two attracting attention.” He gestured to some bushes a little ways off behind us. The two of them quickly stowed it away and covered it as best they could; gold wasn’t exactly a camouflage colour in the moonlight.

With our exit strategy all set up and ready to go, the next step was a diversion. Swift’s other friend, Nutmeg, who himself was up for a promotion to a lieutenant, carefully moved away from our hiding place and headed for the front area of the camp. He would do his best to distract the guards, allowing the three of us to get in unmolested.

Already skilled in stealth and aided by the relative darkness of the night, he made his way toward the front of the camp. When in position, he subtly signalled Strong Shield that he was ready and then began, officially kicking off our little plan. Taking wing, he flew just off the ground. Circling around behind one of sentry guards, he managed to score his own coup by tapping him on the back of his head as he flew past. Needless to say, the guard didn’t care much for it.

“Hey you! Stop!” One of them cried as the thestral was spotted. Quickly a number of guards were alerted and began to pursue the offender. At a rough guess, I’d say he managed to draw off around ten or so. It would certainly make our job easier. The thestral and his pursuers disappeared into the night once more. Hopefully, they’d keep up the chase for some time before giving up.

“Alright, that’s our cue,” Strong Shield said and began to lead us down the hill towards the camp. We were certainly an odd bunch. A thestral officer in full uniform, a changeling turned guard instructor and an apple farmer dressed as a partisan ranger, all to take a very ornate helmet.

Reaching the perimeter of the camp, we passed by where the two sentries had previously been stationed. There were still plenty of guards hanging around, patrolling and such, but it was now no longer impossible to do what we intended. Nonetheless, it would still prove a challenge.

The last time I’d done anything like this, it had been before the incursion, so the guards had been nowhere near as well trained. Now though, a couple years down the line. These guys really knew their cookies. Patrol routes were not fixed and were difficult to account for. No single guard moved alone (of course, we weren’t planning on actually harming anypony, if we were spotted we were to just bolt) and it was not an easy thing to distract them.

As such, we had to rely on Strong Shield’s skills, since he was the one who trained most of them, to get us through. As we continued to sneak through the small encampment, I couldn’t help but hear a familiar tune in my head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbsuAbTTsV8

Sneaking down the hillside, and doing our best to stay low to the ground, we made our way towards the camp. The three of us each kept an eye on the nearest patrolling guard, who seemed to be going back and forth along the fence line. As soon as he moved away, we moved in. The fence was our first objective. We had no bolt cutters, but we did have magic.

“Rookie, use a fire spell to melt the wire,” Strong Shield instructed. “And be careful; keep the flame small and be ready to cut it off if needed.” Leaning down to be level with the first part of the fence, I steadily began to cut us a way in by melting the fence in a perimeter. Eventually, this allowed us to create a pony sized hole to enter through.

Getting inside the camp, we quickly began to head towards the centre, making sure to dodge any unicorn guard with a light spell. Listening to the odd conversation, we learnt that the armour set was stored in pretty much the centre of the camp. So that is where we headed, doing our best to stick to the shadows.

Eventually, after a couple of close calls and near misses, we reached the centre of the camp; our target. It was here that Shining had left his ceremonial armour whilst he was with the princesses (we had incorrectly assumed he was still here, Strong Shield had quickly corrected our poor intel). Prior to the ceremony starting he would come here to collect it. It would be something of a surprise when his guards reported to him that we’d managed to make off with it. In a way, this was sort of like a college prank really. No ill will was meant, it was just a bit of fun. I’m sure next year Shining will have some plan up his sleeve to get back at Swift Wing and his boys.

Strong Shield made one final check around the corner; there were no guard in sight. Signalling us two with a hoof (nopony had spoken a word since we’d entered the camp) we all began to creep toward our objective. Keeping low, we avoid making ourselves too obvious, though I could tell by the way Strong Shield had shook his head in dismay, he needed to repeat a few of his lessons to these guards.

Making our way to the tent, the three of us slipped inside. Swift Wing stationed himself at the threshold to keep an eye out in case a guard turned up, in which case we would have to hide and hole up where we were. Strong Shield and I meanwhile, went straight for the wire frame that held Shining Armor’s namesake.

The entire armour set sat on a wire frame the resembled a pony. Carefully, I used my magic to ease the helmet off of the ‘head’. Signalling to Swift, who was grinning like an idiot at this point, that we were done, we formed up again and prepared to make a break for it.

Unfortunately, fate seemed to be against us, for as soon as we made for the door, we came face to face with a guard. In his glee, Swift had looked away. Both parties stood facing the other for a moment, neither quite sure what to do. Were this the real deal, the guard would have had to run, there was no way he could take on all three of us. However, since we were under very limited ROE we had something of an issue. In the event, it was Strong Shield who broke the silence, with one simple command.

“RUN!” As one mass, the three of us pushed our way through and began to go as far as we could to make for our rendezvous.

Forcing our way past the lone guard, the three of us broke into a full gallop towards our escape. Perhaps due to playing too much Assassin’s Creed when I was younger, I could now hear the beeping ‘exposed’ alarm going off in my head. Behind us you could hear the frenzied shouts of the now wide awake guards.

“Stop! Thief!”

“Get back here you damn bat ponies!”

“They’re trying to steal the captain’s helmet!”

“I told you they’d try something!”

Doing our best to keep a decent speed, we hurriedly traced our route back through the camp, dodging the odd guard that tried to cut us off. I contemplated using a teleport spell to get myself to the chariot quickly. But I think that would have probably gone down rather badly with my two comrades. Plus, carrying the heavy helmet in my magic, I doubted I would have enough power to get myself all the way there, and even if I did I would certainly be worn out.

So, we kept on going and quickly got back to the small hole in the fence. Soon, we were tearing back up the hill, our hooves doing their best to find purchase on the soft grass that was already damp with the dew of the early morning. It would only be a couple of hours until sunrise. Eventually, our ride came into view. Strong Shield bellowed at the two waiting thestrals.

“Alright you two, let’s go! Start up! Start up!” he called over the racket that was our pursuit. Hurriedly, the two thestrals hauled the chariot out and began to gallop away, ahead of us. Given how close our pursuit was, we’d have to jump for the chariot, which would then get airborne.

“Okay, everypony! Get on!” Strong Shield instructed. One by one, we threw ourselves onto the chariot. In my case, it was a close run thing. Weighed down by the helmet, my jump was somewhat short. If it hadn’t been for Strong Shield and Swift grabbing my outstretched hoof, I might have missed it and gotten caught. While it was fun for the guards, I doubt either of the princesses would approve of this.

Officially.

With everypony on board, Swift called to his two friends, instructing them to take to the skies. We pitched up sharply, keeping our speed but also rapidly gaining altitude. Of course, the white pegasi of the Solar Guard quickly followed us, leaving their counterparts back on the ground. We had ourselves a good old fashioned chase.

“You’re doing fine, you two. Just put your hoof down. Put your hoof down; we’ll lose em easy.” Strong Shield called. A fitting bit of music began to play in my head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbeXL6AXmi0

We tore through the skies above Ponyville, our chariot bobbing and weaving in an effort to shake our pursuit. When that proved fruitless, our two flyers dropped back down toward almost ground level. But they didn’t slow down; instead we were shooting through the streets at incredible speeds. More than one of our pursuers crash landed in the many sharp twists and turns.

With guards still on us, we then zoomed up into the sky again and banked away from the town. Still going at a terrific speed, we then plummeted down toward Ghastly Gorge. In a style I’m sure Rainbow Dash would be proud of, we slalomed our way between the rocks, dodging the eels that snapped at us as we passed. The threat of possibly being eaten was enough to convince a few more to back off.

However, some of the veterans remained dogged in their pursuit, so we kept going as fast as we could. If I only I could pull off a decent illusion spell, perhaps make us invisible or duplicate our chariot to give us the opening we needed. Unfortunately, illusion magic was not something I was skilled in, and Strong Shield couldn’t use any of his abilities without causing a lot of complications.

In the end, we headed for the Everfree, more particularly, the uncontrolled weather that was above it. The clouds provided great cover and with our two flyers running short on steam, we managed to at last loose the remainder of our pursuit in the thick clouds.

“Ah can’t see any more of ‘em, captain!” I called as I peered behind us into the darkness and the fog. “Ah think we did it!” Strong Shield nodded.

“Alright you two, see if you can get us back to the Tavern. Home for tea and medals!” The two thestrals cheered half-heartedly, their wings no doubt feeling like they were about to fall off. Swift on the other hand was happy as a pig in…well, you know.

“Ha ha! We did it!” he proclaimed happily, dancing like a drunkard.

As we headed back towards town, we passed a couple of guards that had landed on the border of the Everfree. Obviously, they’d cottoned on to what was happening and were content to let us head back and claim our little victory. Undoubtedly, Shining would plan something to get back at Swift Wing and his little band. As we passed over them, I picked up Shining’s helmet and held it in my magical grasp, showing them our prize. And for a laugh, since I was in a confederate jacket, let off the loudest rebel yell I could, causing those amongst us related to bats to cover their ears in agony. But hey, we were happy.

Touching down outside the Tavern, the lot of us piled in to a cheering welcome. The place was still packed with guards from both sides and they’d all evidently got wind of what was happening. The thestrals, unicorns, and earth ponies of the Lunar Guard were cheering at their little victory, whilst their daytime counterparts, for the most part, were gracious enough to admit the little college type prank. Like I said before, there isn’t any real malice; it’s more just a bit of friendly competition and one-upmanship.

Quite quickly, it was a case of drinks all around, and a little bit of a party, before the dawn. With everypony still laughing and joking around Swift and a few of the others gathered around the small piano in the far corner of the bar for a few old songs. It isn’t a celebration if there isn’t a little bit of a sing-song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sdkNkETLK4&bpctr=1430311660

Come all ye children of the night, our time is now at hand
To break Celestia's shackles and drive her from our land
Justice is our motto and Luna is our guide,
So jump into the wagon, and we'll all take a ride.

Wait for the wagon! The revolution wagon!
The night is our wagon, and we’ll all take a ride.

Revolution is our watchword, our night we all demand;
To defend our homes and firesides, we'll do all that we can;
Princess Luna leads us, we'll never leave her side;
Those brave aces, the Shadowbolts, will join us in the ride.

Our wagon is the very best, the running gear is good;
Those Bright Lights they can't catch us, Faust knows they wish they could.
Cloudsdale is the driver, with Fillydelphia by her side,
Appleloosa holds the flag up, and we'll all take a ride.

That tyrant old Celestia, the nobles by her side,
Put Goldwing in the wagon just for to take a ride.
Captain Sentry was the driver, to cross Colt’s Run he tried,
But there he left the wagon for Nightshade to ride.

The Lunar Guards are in the field, eager for the fray;
They can whip the Bright Light boys three to one, they say;
And when they get in conflict with Luna by their side,
They'll pitch into the Bright Light boys and then you'll see them slide.

It was at that point, we were rather rudely interrupted. Needless to say, our little endeavour had come to the attention of Captain Shining Armor, and he was not best pleased. With two pegasi flanking him, the helmetless captain came storming into the pub, dressed otherwise in his full armour.

“What in the name of Celestia herself is the meaning of this?!” he bellowed. Evidently, he did not take the showing up of his guards well. Quickly everypony in the pub, civilian or military, either snapped to attention or stood up. Shining began to pace.

“Twenty minutes ago, three ponies broke into the Royal Guard bivouac outside of town. They stole my helmet as well as a chariot in their escape. Now, who was behind this little prank, hmm? Step forward!” There was silence. Amongst thestrals there is something of an omerta it seems. That and Shining looked ready to take the head off of anypony who confessed. I would have expected this reaction, were there not Solar Guards happily joining in the celebration too.

I suppose it is just Shining’s nature as a workaholic and general disciplinarian. He’s not exactly a guy you expect to relax easily, particularly on one of the most important events of the year.

Whilst neither Swift, Strong Shield nor I revealed ourselves as the conspirators, the missing helmet was quickly ‘found’ by a guard and quietly returned. Taking it in his magical grip, Shining put it back on his head, a stern expression still on his features.

“Alright,” he said at length. “I understand you all have little to do until sunrise, and I understand that there is something of a rivalry between the two guard sections. However, that is no excuse for professional guards gallivanting off to play Settlers and Buffalo. You are all professionals; act like it!” And with that, he left. Conversations slowly started up again.

“Well that sucked,” Swift commented, scowling at the front door.

“Oh, it’s just how he is, the jackass,” Strong Shield replied. “That colt’s been a born officer since the day he joined up. Unfortunately, it cost him his sense of fun.” He laughed to himself. “Besides, somepony’s gotta be the bad guy and keep you all in line, with me away and all.”

“Ah hope they do let ya back in, cap,” I offered. “Hay, if they don’t Ah’ll go before Celestia herself and demand y’all be given your job back.” Just then, the clock in the pub began to strike and the guards began to busy themselves.

“Alright, everypony,” Swift called over the general noise. “Let’s get to town hall.”

Chapter 80 - Summer Sun Celebration

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Splitting up to go with their respective side, the guards left the Tavern, donning their armour and changing their behaviour to fit those expected of a soldier. The Lunar Guard all grouped around Swift Wing and the other officers, whilst their solar counterparts left to join Shining Armor and his staff. As for me and the other ‘civvies’ that had been hanging about, we now respectfully bowed out and began to make our own way to Town Hall, where the whole ceremony would be taking place.

Both guard sections marched away smartly and with a great amount of professionalism, with an officer leading each small platoon one after the other. They would ultimately meet up again on opposite sides of Town Hall, guarding their respective princess.

Consequently, for a while, I was left alone until I could meet up with AJ and the rest of the family. I’d promised them I’d meet them at Town Hall in time. It had been one hay of a busy night; I’m fairly sure AJ would kill me if she found out what I’d been up to, but it would be a fun little story to tell Apple Bloom.

As I walked on, Strong Shield, who due to his temporary holiday, would not be taking part in the proceedings, joined me. The slightly aging changeling seemed pretty content, despite his current situation.

“Heading up to the square are you, Rookie?” he asked.

“Yep, Ah promised Applejack Ah’d meet her an’ the family there. Y’all are welcome to join us, if you’d like.” The old guard shook his head.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” he replied. “I figured I might head on back to the Tavern for a bit, get a drink or two while it’s quiet. That and think about my options.”

“What are ya thinking of doing anyway. Ah mean, the princess can’t keep ya on leave forever, right?” Strong Shield frowned a little.

“Well, it may not just be leave. Too many incidents, Rookie. Even the little things are starting to set me off; sudden noises, open spaces, even just being tapped on the shoulder.” He sighed and paused for a moment before continuing. “Look, you know I get funny spells from time to time, and I could get around them, but now…” he trailed off. I thought for a moment as we crossed the bridge over the small river that ran through Ponyville.

“Cap, permission to speak freely?” I asked. That got a laugh out of him.

“Sure, when haven’t you?”

“All your problems really, come from what happened in Canterlot, and what your own kin did to ya. It were some mighty serious trauma. That brought on your troubles. But right now, Ah reckon it ain’t just that. Hayseed, everypony’s still a little scared right now; the whole Tirek thing shook everypony up. But it’ll pass. The threat’s contained and there ain’t no risk of a repeat. Now, Ah ain’t no psychologist, but Ah think that in a couple of weeks, with some rest, y’all will be fit for duty again. The old stuff’ll still be there, but this Tirek business will be put to bed.”

Strong Shield thought for a moment, evidently examining what I had told him. I hoped I was right; most of my conclusions were based on my reactions, for a couple of nights I’d been scared witless, so had AJ, and even Big Mac. In Strong Shield’s case though, his existing problems were being compounded by it all, making him even more prone to an episode.

“I’ll be honest with you, Rookie,” he said at length. “The guard headshrinker said pretty much the same thing, with a hay of lot more medical mumbo jumbo. Celestia willing, I should be back within a month. Still, doesn’t hurt to have a back-up plan, right?”

“No, it sure doesn’t. Ah know a lot of ex-soldiers on my world went to work with private security firms. You know, body guarding and close protection, stuff like that.” Strong Shield nodded.

“Exactly, so I sounded out a couple of guys I know in Canterlot. If worst comes to the worst, I should be able to get a job with them.” Using his magic, he passed me a business card. “If the apple farming business ever hits trouble, you could think about it; Celestia knows you wouldn’t be half bad.” I think that’s the best endorsement I could ever get from Strong Shield; it was certainly more complimentary than his norm.

However, the company’s name gave me pause, flagging up unfortunate another commonality between Equestria and Earth.

“Black Ops and Dark Tan’s Security Consulting? Shoot, Ah think ya ought to give that one a miss, cap.” Much to my surprise, I recognised the company logo; they’d been the hired help for the fashion show Rarity dragged me to several months back. I guess likening them to Executive Outcomes was being too kind, if they actually did have anything in common with their human counterparts.

Taking the card back, Strong Shield bade me farewell. He then headed on back to the Tavern for a well-earned drink. As for me, I plodded onward.

Heading into town, I passed any number of banners to mark the occasion, golden orange ones emblazoned with the sun for Celestia, and dark blue and purple ones for Luna, with her cutie mark on them. In a way, it reminded me of that dream I had had several months ago, not too long after I arrived here. That was only the second time I had spoken with Princess Luna. Have I really been here that long? Nearly a year already?

I looked up as I neared Town Hall. In the eastern sky, you could just make out the faintest glow. The blood of many a Lunar guard. For some reason, I still felt a slight sense of disquiet at the sight. The dawn was coming, and in another half hour or so, the moon would slip beneath the horizon to make way for the sun and the day. Such is the way of things, in another twelve hours or so, the process will be repeated in reverse. Day and night, each balancing each other out, just as the two princesses do. It is a sound political system if you ask me. Unless they both go power mad at the same time, there will always be somepony to keep Equestria safe.

Trotting into the square in front of Town Hall, I began to make my way through the crowd, looking for Applejack and the others. In the end, I managed to spot Big Mac, who of course was quite noticeable, given his larger stature, amongst the gathered crowd.

“Hey, Mac!” I called out, waving a hoof to catch his attention. The large stallion quickly spotted me and led the rest of the family over.

“Howdy, Bones,” he said in his usual way. “Everythin’ alright?”

“Sure, Mac, sure,” I replied. “Everypony ready to get this thing started?”

“Eeyup. Twilight just left to meet up with the princesses. Ah reckon it’ll be dawn in another five minutes.” As a princess herself, Twilight would be part of the proceedings proper, along with her older brother, who had hopefully calmed down a little by now. Applejack then appeared.

“There ya are, Bones. Ah thought ya were gonna miss this,” she said as she hugged me.

“Sorry Ah couldn’t get here sooner, ‘Jack. Ah caught up with a couple of the guys Ah know in Canterlot; time kinda got away from me.”

We all settled down to wait for the ‘show’ to kick off. Steadily more and more ponies began to trickle in. I spotted my mother chatting with Cheerilee a ways off (I also saw Big Mac almost literally pining after the latter). My father of course, was with various other big wigs that had turned up and I spotted him conversing with Mayor Mare. It was then though that I spotted something that surprised me.

It was my little sister, Lizzie. I’d expected that she’d turn up with Fluttershy. In my experience the two of them were virtually inseparable aside from when Lizzie was doing weather work with Rainbow and the others. In this instance though, Fluttershy had peeled off at some point and was talking with Rainbow and Pinkie over a few cupcakes. Lizzie meanwhile was with Dewdrop, one of the ponies she had been working with during the tornado. I owed the guy a drink considering how he saved her from getting sucked in by the tornado.

When that had all been winding down, I’d overheard him asking her out, sort of. He was hardly taking her out on a date after all. Besides, it was good that she was doing stuff outside of the cottage and her job; she’s significantly more sociable than me and I was honestly surprised she kept so close to Fluttershy for this long. The guy seemed nice enough, like her last boyfriend she’d probably be the one wearing the trousers, but there was nothing that threw up any real red flags.

The two of them were contentedly wandering around the square talking to pretty much anypony either one of them knew. Since I hadn’t seen Lizzie since that tornado, I decided to head over there myself, with Applejack following me. Judging by the way she rolled her eyes, she’d already figured out what I was up to.

“Hey, Lizzie!” I called out as I trotted up to the pair. “Nice to see you too, Dewdrop.” In an incredibly fun, albeit trollish move, I grabbed his hoof and foreleg with both hooves. A little invasion of his personal space and, if psychologists are to be believed, establishing my dominance. I may have nothing against him, but I do still have to follow my role as Lizzie’s older brother.

“Hey,” Lizzie replied, half-heartedly waving a foreleg. “Any chance you can stop threatening Dewdrop now?” As I looked back at the poor lad, I saw he had all but seized up in fear. The guy was like a male version of Fluttershy.

“Alright, alright. Ah was only joking,” I replied. “Sorry, Dewdrop, just lookin’ out for my sister is all.” Dewdrop quickly retreated a little behind my sister. “What have you two been up to then?”

“Oh, erm, Lizzie suggested we come here together,” Dewdrop offered. “She said it would be a good way to get to know a few other ponies in town.”

“Fair enough. So where’s Fluttershy got to then? Ah’d have expected her to come along with you two.” Lizzie gestured off towards Sugarcube Corner.

“I think she’s with Rainbow at the moment. The three of us came here together, but she said she wanted to go and talk to Rainbow for a while.” At this point, my cross examination was interrupted.

“C’mon, Bones, lay off that will ya. It’s startin’!” Applejack called.

And she was right. Out onto the balcony above us stepped the two diarchs of Equestria; their Grand Royal Highnesses’ the Princesses Celestia and Luna, rulers of the day and the night respectively. They were dressed in their typical regalia and were both flanked by the captain of their guards and at least two of their best and brightest. Standing behind the two, but still prominent, was Twilight and the mayor. Celestia spoke first.

“My little ponies,” she began in her usual motherly voice. “It was on the very spot just a few years ago that I was able to welcome my dear sister back to Equestria and allow her to take her rightful place as its co-ruler. You should not thank me for raising the sun this morning; I am in your debt for returning my sister to me.” She then stepped back letting Luna have the floor.

“I too would like to express my fondness for this town. Were it not for the citizens of this cosy hamlet, I would not have realised the joys of Nightmare Night, or the appreciation so many of you have for my night. Even as I lower the moon today, I know many of you yearn for the night time…and are not wholly obsessed with my sister’s sun.” The sudden, unexpected joke from the usually serious princess got a laugh from the entire crowd.

With that, Luna, in one great leap, soared high into the sky. Standing almost bipedal, with her forelegs stretching upwards into the sky, and her wings flapping in a steady rhythm, she set her horn aglow. Slowly but surely, and with increasing speed, the moon descended from the sky, whilst Luna herself also slowly floated back towards the ground. At the same time, Celestia too, took to the skies. Performing the same manoeuvre in reverse, she began to lift the sun steadily over the horizon. Off to the side, I saw some of the thestrals squinting against the bright glare of the sunrise. Having gotten used to the night, it was quite dazzling to me and I pulled my hat down a little in an effort to preserve my retina.

One by one, the stars vanished and the once deep blue sky began to turn a reddish purple colour, before shifting to become the typical sky blue of the daytime. Finally, Celestia too returned to the ground to stand alongside her sister amidst the cheering of all the assembled ponies, as well as two humans. Regardless of what else I might think, it was a spectacular sight to behold, far more mesmerising that merely watching a sunrise. Plus, as a unicorn, I could vaguely feel the immensely powerful magic given off by the two alicorns. All in all, a pretty humbling experience.

“Wow,” I muttered quietly, unable to come up with anything else to describe what I had just seen.

“’Wow’ is right, Bones,” Applejack said. “Ah seen Celestia raise the sun a bunch of times, but it never stops bein’ amazin’.” I nodded in silent agreement. I think the closest approximation to it all was a religious experience, though I am loathe to call it that as an atheist. It certainly made me realise how lucky I was, considering I was on a first name basis with one of the participants in that ceremony.

As the feeling that had compelled everypony to remain where they were in quiet awe subsided, ponies steadily began to disperse. Applejack and I wandered off towards the park, whilst Big Mac apparently plucked up the courage, and went over to be with Cheerilee. We eventually settled ourselves down under one of the large trees in the park.

Across the way from the two of us, on a small knoll a short ways off, a strange thing was happening. With neither word, nor signal of command, the entirety of the Lunar Guard present had gathered together. They were all lined up, as if on parade, and at the front of their column stood a colour bearer, with a lunar flag, similar to the one which I had been gifted, fluttering in the slight breeze. They all remained fast at attention, facing the rising sun. And again, with no command, the assembled guards began to sing a solemn tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKnmNll1AbM

Oh have you heard the cruel news?
Alas it is too true.
At Canterlot’s old courthouse,
Went down our cause so true.
Our armies have surrendered,
We bow to Celestia’s might.
Forever more forbidden is,
The wearing of the night.

No more on fields of battle,
Waves the banner of our pride.
In vain beneath the crimson folds,
Where many a stallion died.
Like the stars of the early morning,
Our flag burns by the light.
And low are they who guarded it,
The wearers of the night.

Remember how we scattered them,
Beneath the mountains old.
And how we tossed the powers of strong,
The valour of the bold.
We thundered through the bloody gap,
Our Princess led the fight.
Remember this and ne’er forsake,
The wearing of the night.

We have lost all but honour,
Our dark banners have no shame.
Though beaten down by numbers,
We’ll keep our ancient fame.
Though exiled from Equestria,
We’ll still keep up the fight.
We’ll not forget our old dear land,
And proudly wear the night.

Now honour to the guardsman,
Who still keeps up the fight.
And shame upon the lunar stallion,
Who wears the golden light.
From our home within the mountains,
We’ll still keep up the fight.
We like those mountains never leave,
The wearing of the night.

Then here’s to our dear Princess,
And comrades true who died.
In the forefront of the battle,
The thestrals would not hide.
When our Lunar banner floats again,
No more burned by the light.
Let a token of our victory be,
The wearing of the night.

As the song ended, the flag was promptly dipped in salute, whilst the assembled group snapped to attention, and removed their helmets as a sign of respect to their forebears. A few moments later, the banner was brought into the recover and the helmets were replaced.

In a final act of remembrance, the commanding officer stepped forward and moved to the front of the column. Turning around to face his subordinates, he removed a scroll from his armour and began to read. After a few lines I realised its significance; it was the so-called ‘Exile Speech’; the speech given by the captain of the Lunar Guard after Nightmare Moon was sealed away, attempting to lift the spirits of the assembled troops, who would then flee Equestria for a millennium.

“It has been a long war. It has been a tough war. You have fought bravely and proudly for your country, and your princess.” He paused to steady himself emotionally. At the time, this was all but a eulogy to Luna and the night. “You are a special group. We have found in one another a bond that exists only in combat…among brothers…among soldiers. We have shared foxholes…held each other in dire moments. We have seen death, and suffered defeat together.” Pausing again, he looked up, pride evident on his features. “I am proud to have served with each and every one of you. You all deserve long and happy lives in peace.”

Finishing the short speech, the captain nodded to the assembled group. As one, the group turned to look at the horizon, beneath which the moon had descended. Then, as one, they bowed as if to the princess. With that final token, the group steadily began to disperse. Amongst them, I spotted Swift, as well as Nutmeg and the other two thestrals who aided us in our earlier coup.

Thestrals can be a strange bunch. Whilst Celestia’s own guards are extremely dedicated to her, and the Lunar Guard as a whole is dedicated to Luna, the thestrals as a people border on religious fanaticism. They see the moon as the physical embodiment of Luna and each of the stars representing one of her former guards. They revile Nightmare Moon far more than any other foe for her crimes, viewing her as something along the lines of the anti-Christ. They also have a strong need for ceremony and symbolism, as I had just witnessed. They make me appear almost normal.

The two of us stood underneath the tree we had been resting under, watching the final end of the spectacle that had just unfolded before us. Had I not found myself working on Sweet Apple Acres, I might well have attempted to enlist. I doubt I would have been much good; for all my interest and admiration for soldiering, I am not particularly good at it. But in the event, I would certainly have attempted to join the Lunar Guard. As the guards departed, we heard hoofsteps behind us.

“A curious ceremony, is it not?” a kind hearted voice asked. Quickly turning around, the two of us saw Princess Luna, who had evidently too been watching the proceedings.

“Princess Luna,” I replied, promptly bowing, with Applejack quickly mimicking my movements. Luna laughed softly and smiled at the pair of us.

“Really, young Blade Star. After all this time, and all the excursions you have taken me on, you still cannot bring yourself to address me informally in person?” I don’t know why, but whenever I was with Luna in a dream, I naturally felt more relaxed around her. But right now, I was conscious of the fact that I was in the presence of an Equestrian princess, an alicorn, and a being who could end my existence if she wished with a mere flick of her horn. Perhaps it was an effect of the dreamscape, or perhaps it is just me. Quite quickly though, my long standing informality returned.

“Sorry, Luna; force of habit.” I apologised.

“It is quite alright, child. I am sorry if I startled you, but were my guards to see me observing them, they would be down on bended knee before you could say ‘zap apple’. I merely wished to see the ceremony they performed. A curious spectacle, though you have to admire their devotion. Faith is an ever useful ally in battle.” The three of us settled down again to talk.

“Princess, Ah gotta say,” Applejack began. “Even after all the times Ah’ve seen it happen, watching you lower the moon is one of the most amazin’ sights in all of Equestria.” I was actually a little surprised at how diplomatic AJ was being; pragmatism after all is not her strong suit. Luna took it in her stride.

“Thank you, Applejack. I must confess it is a thrilling thing to do, even after all these years,” she replied.

“Ah just wish you had your own day. A Winter Solstice Celebration or something. Everypony would watch the sun set and see the moonrise; just stay up for one night and look up,” I added.

“But what of the morrow, Blade Star?” Luna asked. “The farmers and labourers would be exhausted; a whole day would most likely be lost. And my night, with no dreams to guard would be quite dull.” She raised an interesting, if surprising, point.

For as long as I have known her, Luna has been like that. Like her sister, she always seems to be one step ahead, always has one last trick up her sleeve. No matter how well a pony might claim to know her, Luna often manages to surprise me. In a way I find it quite comforting, to know that there is always somepony you can turn to. If Celestia is Equestria’s mother, then Luna is the big sister who keeps us out of trouble.

“I suppose that is true,” I replied, unable to form a counter argument that didn’t refer to Nightmare Moon. Perhaps it was merely that entity that sought control, and in reality, Luna was content with her existing position. Well, the full nature of that story will probably only ever be known to Luna herself. Though she considers me a friend, it is not my place to ask such searching questions.

“Speaking of dull, have you noticed a change in Discord of late? My sister tells me that he has made a habit of visiting you from time to time.”

“What of him?” I replied.

“He seems to have become somewhat, different recently. He has shook off his encounter with Tirek quite well, but he now seems to have gone to an unusual extreme. Last week he completed all of my sister’s work for her, as well as settling several cases for your father. Whilst I am glad of such a turn of events, it is still unusual. And given Discord’s nature, unusual can be something of an issue.” This partially explained the strange incident Applejack and I had had with him yesterday. The two of us quickly summarised what had happened.

“Well, whatever it is, I imagine Discord will speak of it when he wishes.” The Lunar diarch rose from her sitting position. “I suppose I ought to be off as well. I will see the two of you around of course. But for now, I think it is apt the two of you be left to yourselves.” She prepared to leave, but a moment later, turned around to face me “Oh, and Blade Star.”

“Yes, Luna?” The Lunar princess smiled in a way that would make Celestia envious.

“Well done on your little excursion earlier. It’s always nice to hold the quality of my guards over dear sister’s head.” Applejack of course, looked a little confused, whilst I offered an over the top bow to the departing diarch. Much to my surprise, Luna took out a small crow feather and placed it in my Stetson. “I do not have the firmest grasp of Buffalo culture, Blade Star. But I believe you have earned this.”

With a quick burst of magic, Luna vanished in a bright flash of light, perhaps to meet up with her sister, or possibly even straight back to Canterlot. Such a thing after all, was well within her abilities as an alicorn.

"And what exactly happened on this 'little excursion' she was mentioning?" Applejack asked with a raised eyebrow.

New to relationships I may be, but new to dodging the questioning of a mare, I was not. I knew any attempt to fib my way out wouldn't work, so I simply whistled lightly as I walked off to lay back down under the tree, pretending not to hear.

"Blade Star, I swear, there better be no guards showing up at the farm. Ya hear?" Applejack warned

"'Course not, 'Jack. 'Course not," I replied as the two of us settled down. Then I turned and mumbled to myself, "Probably."

With the departure of both Luna and her thestral guards, we were at last left alone with each other. It was now more than bright enough to see clearly, and the whole world was bathed in the reddish hues of the early morning. The two of us didn’t really speak much, we just sat there, under that same tree, at peace. We had nothing to concern us, no harvests, no planting or ploughing, no market, no princesses, no Discord. There was only the two of us.

We stayed there for quite some time; Applejack dozed slightly, resting her head on my barrel. I too was beginning to feel the strong need for sleep. I had been on the go, and participated in a daring night time heist amongst other things, for well over twenty four hours. Eventually, not wanting to nod off in public and be caught out, least of all by Rainbow Dash, I roused Applejack and the two of us steadily made our way back to the farm. Everypony else was already resting when we got there; even Ponyville itself was unusually quiet with everyone sleeping the morning away.

In the event, I was given an opportunity to play the gentlecolt once more. Just as we passed through the front gates, Applejack’s tiredness got the better of her, and she fell down fast asleep in the road. Obviously unable to leave her like that, I carefully lifted her using my magic, a fairly difficult task, though not beyond my abilities. And then, half resting her on my back and half holding her in my magic, I made my way to the house.

Careful not to disturb anypony on my way in, I carefully eased myself up the stairs. I considered a quick teleport, but that’s always a bit of a risk with two ponies to think about, and I don’t think anypony wanted to see AppleStar or other such mishmash inadvertently created. Making my way to Applejack’s room, I carefully lifted her into bed and tucked her in. I smiled a little to myself, at some point we would have to address the issue of sleeping together; though I doubt Big Mac would ever be comfortable with it. As I settled her, Applejack squirmed a little in her sleep as she got comfortable in her bed. Pausing, I let her settle, before planting a quick kiss on her forehead. And then I too headed to bed.

Chapter 81 - Down the Rabbit Hole

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I woke up after a few hours to find that it had just gone midday. Since everypony had stayed up all night and a bit of the morning for the Summer Sun Celebration, we’d all taken the morning off to catch up on our sleep. Trust me, you don’t want to be around Applejack when she’s cranky, nor do you want to come between her and her apple coffee.

Stumbling downstairs, I too grabbed myself a cup to put a bit more of a spring in my step. Even with the rest, my body clock was still a little out of sorts. Still a little tired, we all sat down to…lunch, I suppose. Of course, the food on offer was decidedly breakfast based. We chatted here and there, but we were all still a little groggy. Applejack apologised for falling asleep on the way back to the farm, not that it was really her fault, she just doesn’t like the idea of inconveniencing anypony. She might accept help if needed, but if the need for help could have been avoided, she always feels a little guilty. I merely replied that it was no issue, demonstrating this fact by bodily lifting her up in my magic. That earned a very adorable squeak from her and a warning look from Big Mac.

As for Apple Bloom and Granny Smith, my little display woke them both up. Like most elderly folk, Granny is very set in her ways; she doesn’t therefore, particularly care for me flaunting my magic. She doesn’t mind how it helps out on the farm, but I think at times she finds it a little off putting. In any case, she merely said;

“Now, now, Bones. No magic at the breakfast table.” I promptly set her granddaughter back down, letting her straighten her hat.

Apple Bloom on the other hand was enthralled with the display. Though I do worry that she passes on what she sees to Sweetie Belle, whose magic has just begun to come to fruition. She of course, would be at home all day. The Summer Sun Celebration was a national holiday; no school, no banks or other shops were open, and the local market in town was closed. It was a chance for everypony to just catch up on their sleep.

The only real thing that needed doing today was the usual quick check of the fence line. Sweet Apple Acres is, as you might expect, entirely fenced off in one way or another to mark out the line between private land and the public land belonging to Ponyville. With cattle and sheep roaming around, as well as the effects of weather, these fences could fall into disrepair. As such, once a week, at least one of us would take a walk around the entire perimeter of the farm, checking for any signs of fences breaking. After all, any hole could easily let in grazing animals or worse, thieves. It wasn’t that long ago that we caught Flim and Flam skulking around; they’d gotten in via a broken down bit of fencing.

So, since I was the most well rested, it was mutually decided that I ought to be the one to do it this week. We tended to do it on rotation; Mac one week, then AJ, then me. Sometimes, Applejack and I would use it as an opportunity to go for a quiet walk together. In the event any work did need doing of course, then Applejack and her older brother would come out to help remove the old fence and put in the new one.

“Alright then, everypony,” I said, putting my Stetson on my head and grabbing a small bag, which contained a ploughman’s lunch, as well as a canteen filled with water. “Ah reckon Ah shouldn’t be more than a couple of hours. If Ah ain’t back by nightfall come lookin’ for me, ya hear?” It would be a long trek after all, hence the food and safety arrangements.

“Sure thing, Bones. Listen, if’n ya get into trouble or anything, try throwin’ up one of those flare spells ya got,” Applejack suggested. A clever idea, and one I hadn’t considered.

“Right, Applejack,” I replied, nodding to her. “See ya later everypony!” Mac, AB and Granny all called goodbye, and I set off to ride the land.

While it was a hay of a long trek all around the farm, I usually enjoyed it for the most part. I was a little disappointed that Applejack wasn’t with me this time around, but the work was still enjoyable in and of itself. Normally, I wouldn’t even call it work. All I have to do is go around the perimeter of Sweet Apple Acres and ensure nothing is amiss. I was effectively getting paid for taking a pleasant afternoon walk, albeit a very long one.

Even if I did run into anything, it would usually be a case of putting up new fences, work that I found equally enjoyable and rewarding. The only real risk was running into the extremely rare apple thief. On the frontier or nearer to some of the larger cities, this might be more of a problem, but out here, where ponies rarely locked their doors, not so much. Even in such an event, I had magic on my side. And, as Granny Smith is fond of saying:

‘An apple a day will keep anything away…if thrown hard enough.’

So, all in all, I had little to do apart from putting one hoof in front of the other. The weather was, of course, very warm by this point. It was just after half past twelve when I set out, so at least the midday sun was passing. Despite all the appreciation Celestia had received at the celebration, she still seemed determined to cook us all. I was grateful for the canteen attached to the straps on the small saddle bag. I would need the extra fluids to stay hydrated in this heat. Being such a long trip, I would take breaks every now and again; finding a shady spot to rest up, eat, and drink.

As I continued to work my way around the farm, I found little to attract my attention. The fences were all in good shape, with no damage or signs of anypony trying to clamber over them. There was no sign of any animals inadvertently entering the farm and all the nearby trees looked healthy. They were all beginning to bear fruit now; in another couple months or so it would be Applebuck Season again. Last on my list was a few of the outlying storage barns, making sure they were still locked up; Applejack had told me of one incident where she’s caught a couple of thieves hiding out in the barn to avoid being noticed trespassing.

About an hour into my little patrol, I was starting to sweat a little and my supplies were beginning to run low. Since this was officially the longest day of the year, it meant that the temperature wouldn’t be dropping much for another few hours. I would have to ration my water carefully. The monotonous nature of my work was beginning to get to me.

But, as they say, ‘be careful what you wish for’. As I continued to make my way along one of the many paths through the orchards, I heard the typical sound of a teleport and a white light appeared in my peripheral vision. Turning to my left, I spotted Discord.

The draconequus had materialised between two apple trees and was currently suspended between them like a hammock. His tail had curled around the trunk of one tree, whist his arms were locked around the other, allowing him to hang between them. He sighed contentedly.

“Oh isn’t it a beautiful day; the sun’s shining, the birds are singing, and there’s nothing to do but laze about.”

“Hey, Discord,” I said good naturedly. If he was going to be all friendly, regardless of whatever game he is playing, it wouldn’t hurt to encourage the behaviour.

“Blade Star! I didn’t realise you were out here,” he replied. Of course he didn’t. “I would have thought you’d still be in bed.”

“Ah got enough sleep in the mornin’, Discord. Besides, the fence line needs a quick check, and it ain’t no real bother.”

“So that’s why you’re out here,” he went on. “I should have guessed it would have something to do with apples. You’re almost as bad as that marefriend of yours.” I rolled my eyes in annoyance, but it would take far more than that to rile me up.

“Why are y’all out here anyway? Don’t ya have some chaos to attend to?” Discord waved a lion paw dismissively.

“Not today, dear boy. For now everything’s bubbling away nicely, I even took time to give the old homestead a quick cleaning.” Since it appeared I was in for a lengthy chat, I settled myself down in the shade of one of the larger trees, opposite to Discord.

“Ya were helpin’ Fluttershy out?”

“No, no, no,” Discord replied, shaking his head. “I mean my own place. Sure I may stop by for tea every Tuesday and crash there once in a while, but I’ll have you know I’m a registered homeowner, Blade Star.” Then I made the fatal misstep.

“Where?”

Discord, is officially known as the ‘Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony’; he specialises in all things chaotic. His magic is chaos based and functions in a radically different way to my own, or even that of the alicorns. His physical appearance is also representative of this, as is the case with his personality. Consequently, the place he called home followed a similar pattern.

Given his existing similarities to Q, I was expecting a metaphysical representation of this ‘realm’, if you can call it that. I figured that as Discord was chaos, his home would be too, such chaos would be impossible for the mind to comprehend. Q overcame this issue by allowing the few humans who visited the Continuum to perceive it in a manner they could understand. However, Discord did no such things, and I was confronted with the perplexing, and downright horrifying nature of where he lived.

The best simple description I can give is this; imagine if Salvador Dali painted Equestria. That was the result; it was all melting. There were elements from the world that I was familiar with, but none of them quite made sense. There was a ground of sorts, but you couldn’t actually feel it. Gravity was very much a haphazard affair, and this was worsened by the lack of a horizon, aside from the many odd things floating around, the place was a void. This world was filled with creatures made up in a style similar to Discord himself, odd mish-mash creatures. I saw badgers flying with eagle wings. Rabbit like creatures with unusually long legs tearing across invisible plains. I even saw an odd blob like being that seemed to just float around, occasionally altering its overall shape.

But most disturbing of all was the being I met just before we reached our destination. It was a unicorn, and a fairly normal looking one at that, quite an odd thing to see in this chaos dimension.

She, for it was a mare, was of a fairly average build and had a slate grey coat.

And a dark blue mane.

And wore a Stetson hat on her head.

Did I mention her crossed swords cutie mark?

We passed each other briefly, and we both awkwardly waved at the other. After that, she entered what looked like a wormhole of sorts, which Discord told me led back to her version of Equestria. So…yeah…I met Blade Star.

Discord led me towards his home; right in the middle of this chaos was a small house. It was similar to Fluttershy’s cottage in a way, but had the properties of everything else in this dimension. My stomach was churning badly from the lack of and at the same time, presence of gravity. No horizon meant I was getting vertigo. Everything was, or seemed to be floating, so I had no fixed point of reference to determine up or down. The various creatures flew or passed, since not all were flying, perilously close to us.

“Ya live here?” I asked, still trying to find a way to stand up. Discord turned back to look at me, rolling his eyes at my discomfort.

“It may not be much, Blade Star, but yes; this is my home.” He scratched the back of his head. “Well technically it’s a pocket dimension; somewhere where I can cause chaos without Celestia getting all irritable and complaining about how it’s going to destroy Equestria. Plus calling it a dimension gets me around a few zoning laws and I don’t have to claim it as an asset on my taxes.” ‘Discord pays tax?’ I thought to myself. I struggled to reconnect with the intermittent ground.

“So what’s with all these…things around us?”

“Just by products, and a few projects I’m working on. Don’t worry, they shouldn’t hurt you. Even if they do, you won’t know much about it.” He chuckled to himself. “Look, if anything does try to jump you, just make a run for that black hole we passed earlier, it should take you back to Equestria.”

“Fair enough,” I replied. I desperately tried to bury my current fear towards this place. And I’d rather not have Discord laughing at me the entire time.

“It’s so nice you wanted to come and visit, dear boy,” Discord went on. “It isn’t often I get visitors. Usually I’m the one who has to do the travelling.” Did I detect a hint of resentment there? “Anyway, come on in and make yourself at home.” Reaching forward, Discord threw open the front door of his home, which led into what looked like a living room, though it was hard to tell since most of the furniture was on the ceiling. Still, at least there was an identifiable floor and gravity now. I seated myself down on the nearby sofa, whilst Discord, in perhaps his most chaotic act yet, poured tea; rooibos with a couple of sugars. I guess that is one thing we have in common. Still, I wasn’t quite sure how to proceed. I had, rather foolishly, asked Discord about his home. He had now brought me to it, against my will, to show it to me. Social customs demanded that I be gracious, but I knew that he knew I was busy on the farm.

As I tried to work out exactly how I was going to deal with this situation, Discord was engaging in idle small talk, mainly about Fluttershy of course. As hard as it is to believe, he genuinely does have a very close friendship with her and he wants to keep it that way. Only problem is, he isn’t exactly used to the idea of having friends. I suppose that makes him a little bit like Twilight.

Sweet Celestia! Did I just compare Discord to Twilight Sparkle? Eventually, I managed to think of something to say back.

“So how long have you had this place anyway, Discord?” I enquired.

“Oh, ever since I got out. I need some time to stretch my chaotic muscles, but I could never impose all that on Fluttershy. Celestia suggested it and got all the paperwork done for me.”

“Practicalities must be a bit difficult though,” I replied. “Ah mean, a void’s gotta be mighty tricky to heat when you set this place on winter, and Ah bet the mail takes it sweet old time getting’ here.” This realm was pure chaos, so I decided to throw logic out the window.

“Yes, those mail ponies do seem to have something of a dislike for coming here. I mean yes okay, one of them got caught by that sock puppet, but he was fine in the end! Celestia has taken to sending messages through her magic instead. It took a bit of work, but those quantum singularities can be made to work pretty much the same way as that little pet dragon of hers.”

“Spike isn’t a pet, Discord,” I countered. “How about temporal mechanics, did ya suspend those when you made this place?” Discord nodded.

“Very good eye. You’re only the third pony to spot that, after Celestia and that lunatic clockmaker. Even I find something odd about him. He even comes here every now and again to ‘study’ the place.” This small talk wasn’t really going anywhere. Discord does everything for a reason, so I was here for something. Recalling what Luna had said to me, I decided to broach another topic.

“How have y’all been holdin’ up anyway, Discord? It’s been a few days since Ah’ve seen ya. Fluttershy says y’all have been pretty busy this past week.” This was actually second-hoof news from Lizzie and my father. Like me, as well, as Luna, they’d noticed Discord had been doing a great deal to keep himself busy, mainly acting in an altruistic manner. In other words, acting out of his usual character. Discord however, tried to ignore all that.

“Oh you know, this and that. Keeping things ticking over.” I decided to go for broke.

“Well, Ah know for a fact a few ponies are gettin’ mighty worried ‘bout ya.” Discord cocked his head.

“Me, whatever for?”

“Well, it’s just, ya seem to be out of sorts is all. Like, the other day when ya helped out plantin’ all those new apple trees, or getting’ all of my Dad’s paperwork done for him. Ah ain’t sayin’ Ah don’t like it. Truth be told, we all think it’s great progress on your reformation. But we’re all worried ‘bout the reason behind it.” I sighed and put a hoof on the bridge of my nose. “Look, Discord, if this is about what happened with Tirek…” I didn’t get to finish that sentence.

In milliseconds, Discord was on his feet, eyes ablaze with unbridled anger. His snake tail developed a rattle on the end which quickly began producing the tell-tale sound of an angry serpent. Grabbing me by the scruff of my neck, he leaned down to look me in the eye. With his reformation and all, I’d forgotten just how frightening he can be. This was the guy who previously sat in Celestia’s chair and ruled Equestria with an iron grip after all.

“Do not…speak that name…in this house!” he snarled. He then promptly removed one of his horns from his head and hurled it with as much force as he could muster, at a large dartboard which had suddenly appeared, which had Tirek’s face in the centre. I noticed it was not the first, the board was littered with other horns; evidently he’d lost his cool more than once. Ponies often forget that at times Discord can have a real temper.

Quite suddenly though, he let me go, allowing me to land on the floor with a soft thud, and retreated back to his sitting position.

“Sorry, Blade Star, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Snapping his talons, a replacement horn appeared on his head.

“It’s okay,” I replied, my heart still thumping in my chest and my life still flashing before my eyes. “Do you want to talk ‘bout it. Ah’m here, and Ah promise Ah won’t tell nopony.” Sometimes I think AJ’s element is rubbing off on me, I have gotten better with the truth since I ended up here; when I was a kid I was a compulsive liar. At length, Discord nodded.

“It’s not what happened that I’m really worried about,” he said. “It’s the future. You can take Discord out of the chaos, but you can’t take the chaos out of Discord.”

“Go on,” I prodded. Whatever he had to say, he needed to say it.

“Did your old man tell you about our little visit to Tartarus?” I nodded.

“The two of ya went to see Tirek. Ah gotta admit, kudos for that idea with Cerberus. A fate worse than death, Ah reckon.”

“Well, I sent him home before I was finished with Tirek,” Discord went on. “I had a chat with him. I told him if he ever set hoof outside his cage, I’d kill him; no imprisonment, no reforming, just kill him. I even put a claw around his neck.” The dark part of me that threw a changeling queen to her death pricked its ears up. It certainly wouldn’t mind taking part in such an endeavour. Of course, it insisted that it would need a straight razor, a petrol can, a zippo lighter, and a copy of a Steelers Wheels CD. “Do you know what he did? He laughed. He said that I was just like him.”

“You don’t believe that do you?” I asked. Even when he was an enemy of Equestria, Discord was nothing like Tirek. He never truly harmed ponies. He was mean and arguably cruel, but not evil. And he certainly wasn’t now.

“I used ponies who thought they were my friends for my own use. I threatened to kill another being. I manipulated ponies. Doesn’t that sound familiar? I did all of that at some point or another,” Discord replied bitterly. “Am I evil, Blade Star?” This was moving beyond a friend comforting another, towards debates on philosophy and morality.

As I was trying to think of a proper argument and response to Discord, the front door of his house blew open. He’d told me before that Time Turner occasionally frequented this place, but I didn’t expect to see Equestria’s other Timelord to come floating through. Maintaining the effects of zero gravity, Dinky floated through the front room, past the two of us and out through an open window on the opposite side. As she passed, she offered up her two bits, though how she knew what we were talking about is beyond me.

“Evil is not Chaos, but neither is being good. Evil cannot be good, and good shouldn't be evil. But the good can take of the lessons of evil if their moral is still defined, and evil at its worst uses the lessons of the good. Chaos is evil and good. Chaos is using the lessons of good to fulfil the morals of evil to do good. So, Chaos can't be good or evil, because it is both. Just remember, good, evil, neither, or both, it’s here and it’s necessary. Chaos, the contradiction, rulebook and only check of logic.” And with that she floated out.

I…I don’t think there’s much in the way of an answer to that. It answered Discord’s concern in any case. I’ve always said that chaos and evil are not the same, but I don’t think I could articulate it quite like that. I suppose it is true what they say ‘from the mouths of babes’ and so on. The two of us sat there confused for several moments longer.

“Well, Ah…Ah guess that answers your question,” I said eventually, still struggling to understand half of what Dinky had said. I may have dabbled in philosophy in high school, but I don’t think I ever truly understood it. My mind is far too grounded in logic. Discord on the other hand, seemed to roughly understand what Dinky meant.

“I suppose she has a point, chaos is both good and evil, and it’s also neither. I guess then you could say I’m neutral. Yes, I’m chaotic neutral.”

“Er, run that by me again, Discord?”

“Think about it,” he went on, his confidence in himself rapidly returning. “If I hadn’t forced Tia and Lulu to throw me out, they would never have discovered the elements. If I hadn’t corrupted Twilight and the others, their friendship would not have strengthened in the way it has. If I hadn’t helped Tirek, they wouldn’t have unlocked that box and discovered that new castle. It all makes sense now! Okay it brings up a few issues with my free will, but I am not evil, Blade Star! I am chaotic!”

I roughly understood what he meant, though I did wish he wouldn’t call it ‘chaotic neutral’. His actions, both those perceived as good and bad, all in the end contributed to our own good, by ensuring certain things happened. The only issue was that at times, the means Discord used could be perceived as evil, such as his own reign over Equestria.

“So…are you better now?” I asked as he calmed down from his sudden realisation. Discord looked at me, grinning.

“Better, dear boy? I’m brilliant! I’m a genius and I didn’t even realise it!” I sensed his old self reasserting itself. “Alright, thanks for dropping by and all the help and what not. I expect you’ve got plenty of work to catch up on.” With a snap of his talons, gravity ceased being an issue for me and I began to float again.

Tumbling head over heels I floated away from the house out into the void. A moment later, Discord snapped his talons and I left that strange chaotic pocket dimension. I felt myself land on something fairly solid. Opening my eyes and looking around I found myself on the hardwood floor of the farmhouse kitchen. Staring at me in confusion were Applejack, AB, and Big Mac, with Granny Smith continuing to snore in her rocking chair. As I stood up and mentally formed an explanation for my sudden appearance, Discord reappeared.

Emerging out of a dimensional tear, though one that was still connected to this world rather than a true dimensional tear such as the one I and my family arrived through, Discord poked his head out.

“Sorry to drop you off here, dear boy. But I couldn’t quite remember where I picked you up. Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s not that far. Anyway, must dash; I’ve got to go see Fluttershy.” And with that he disappeared.

“Bones, ya okay?” Applejack asked as I got to my feet. I nodded in assurance. A moment later though, I realised what Discord had said.

I still had to do that fence check, from the start, all over again.

Chapter 82 - Home on the Range

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Whilst a part of me was glad that Discord was back to being himself, another part of me deeply regretted it. Namely, the part that was aware of all the work I’d have to do again insofar as checking the fence line was concerned. It was getting on for five o’clock when he dropped me back at the farmhouse anyway. Even on the longest day, there was no way I’d finish before nightfall. Applejack then suggested that it might be a good idea to camp out. Judging by the way she was looking at me, she meant just the two of us.

Now, the idea of just me and Applejack, alone in the orchards, well away from anypony else, I’ll admit was appealing. I was even about to say yes, regardless of what else might happen, when Apple Bloom came charging in, her two friends in tow. With school out for this short holiday, she’d taken the opportunity to go out crusading with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

“Hey, a camp out!” she said excitedly. “Can we come, Bones? Huh? Can we? Can we? Can we?” The three fillies stood in front of Applejack and I and gave the two of us their best innocent faces. Try as we might, there was no resisting it. Thus, any hopes of a little getaway with AJ went up in smoke. Still, given my own attitude toward certain issues, and what AJ was hinting at, that may have been for the best. I’m still not sure how I’m going to broach that topic with her, when it invariably comes up.

“Alright, you three. Ah s’pose ya can come along. Applejack and Ah’ll keep an eye on ya. Just make sure your folks are okay with it, you two.” The latter part of that was addressed to Sweetie and Scoots. With that, the Cutie Mark Crusaders hurried off again to bother their respective guardians. I turned to Applejack.

“Well, Ah reckon this ought to be fun,” I said as we headed upstairs to pack. “Been a while since Ah went campin’ anyway.” Applejack nodded.

“Ah just hope those fillies behave themselves this time,” she replied. “Celestia knows they get into all sorts of trouble.” Leaning in, I nuzzled her reassuringly.

“We’ll be in the orchards, not the Everfree Forest, ‘Jack,” I answered. “We’ll head out as far as we can today, then get a fire goin’ and pitch the tents for the night. We ought to get back early tomorrow. ‘Sides, those fillies can look after themselves. Little AB is growin’ up faster than ya think.”

Balancing on our hind legs, the two of us carefully eased down the rolled up tents we had available from their spot on top of one of the cupboards in the hall. It turned out that we weren’t careful enough though, as the weight ended up overbalancing us and we both tumbled back onto the floor, the tents falling on top of us.

“Ow, ponyfeathers,” I complained. Pushing the stuff off, I quickly examined the tents we had. Annoyingly, when the two of us fell back, one of the poles that kept the tent upright went clean through one of them, splitting the material open from top to bottom.

“Dammit,” I muttered under my breath as I examined the damage. I’d have to pay Big Mac back, or at the very least sew it back up when we got back. “Right, we’ve only got two tents Ah guess.” We were supposed to each have a tent, with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo bringing their own. But now, we’d only have four tents. Turning to Applejack, I saw she had something of a sly grin on her face.

“Well, Sugarcube. Ah guess some of us are just gonna have to share.” Every cloud has a silver lining, I suppose.

And so, leaving Big Mac in charge of the house, Applejack, Apple Bloom, and I set off, loaded up with supplies, on our little journey. Spotting us heading off, a happily yapping Winona followed us. It would be nice to do this sort of thing. My original trip had been getting quite dull after all. With AJ as well as the Crusaders along for the ride, this would be a far more enjoyable outing. I figured we do about a third of the work today, and the rest tomorrow, arriving back at the farmhouse in the middle part of the morning, around ten.

Each one of us had their saddlebags, loaded up with basic supplies, as I had done previously. But this time, in addition, we had the extra weight of the camping supplies. Each of us had a rolled up tent perched on our backs, except Applejack who had extra posts, wire, and other fence building paraphernalia, as well as a lamp each and a few tools to make firewood. As a unicorn, muggins would be serving as the matches.

Calling a farewell to Big Mac and Granny, we set off. Quite quickly, we were joined by Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. They’d also brought their fair share of camping supplies. Though luckily for Sweetie Belle, since Rarity was not with us, she wasn’t carrying quite so much. As for Scootaloo, she had somehow managed to get herself a sleeping bag with Rainbow’s cutie mark on it. Sometimes, I think that filly is more of a brony than I am, at least so far as RD is concerned.

With our little column all formed up I outlined the general plan for the day and tomorrow to the Crusaders.

“Alright, everypony. Now, just to be safe; everypony got everythin’ they need?” I asked. We all double checked our kit. Finding nothing amiss, they all nodded. I continued. “Alright, since it’s startin’ to get mighty late now anyways, we won’t be goin’ too far tonight. Ah reckon we’ll only be going four or five miles before we bed down for the night. Ah’m sure y’all can find us a nice spot to put the tents up.” The Crusaders nodded eagerly, whilst Winona barked in agreement, wagging her tail. They all definitely enjoyed this sort of thing, as did I. Camping was one of the many things I’d missed out on as a child.

Setting off, Applejack and I led the way, with both of us keeping an eye on the youngsters. The Crusaders meanwhile, followed up behind us, chattering amongst themselves and occasionally playing with their canine companion. By now it was getting on for early evening, the sun was beginning to set, but it still had several hours to go. Annoyingly, the first stage of our journey was in a westerly direction, so we’d have to put up with the setting sun in our faces. But hay, anything is better than Discord taking me to that infernal chaos dimension again.

Obviously, as we had started at the farmhouse, the first part of our journey was to actually reach the outer fences and begin to sweep around. Before we could start properly, we had to go down the main road which lead to the front gates and eventually out toward Ponyville. Only when we got there could we begin in earnest.

That path of course, was also the main route you took to get on and off the farm, so naturally, anypony heading up that way would run into you. Derpy of course came this way, as did other mail ponies when they delivered to the farm. And of course, you had your typical faire of visitors, mainly customers looking to purchase orders larger than what our market stall could handle. Why, just last week, we had some big shot from Los Pegasus down here looking to set up a supply contract for his new business. Anyway, I’m rambling; the point is, you would often meet people on this dirt path.

However, I was not expecting to see both my parents heading up the road towards us. Both had had the day off, owing to the celebration. Celestia did not hold court today, so my dad was not needed, and with school out, my mother also had a bit of free time. I wondered what it was that had brought them up here all of a sudden.

“Hey, Bones!” my dad called, still a fair ways up the path. Breaking away from Applejack and the others, I trotted out to meet them. Winona also bounded up to them, recognising them as friends.

“Hi Mom, hi Dad,” I replied. “What brings y’all out this way?” My mother rolled her eyes as she patted Winona on the head.

“Oh please,” she said, in a way Rarity would have been proud of. “Today is like Christmas, New Year’s and Easter all rolled into one for the ponies. We could hardly go through a holiday without checking in on you all. We’re on our way to see your sister next.” Looking at all the gear we were carrying my dad asked what we were up to.

“You all going on some sort of expedition or something?” he asked. By now, AJ and the Crusaders had caught up.

“Nope,” Applejack chimed in. “We’ve gotta check all the fences around the farm, make sure we don’t have any trouble with ponies stealin’ the crops and such like.” My father laughed a little to himself.

“Do you really need the whole ‘survivalist’ package to do that?” he enquired.

“Ah was doin’ it all myself earlier, but Ah ran into Discord,” I explained. “Speakin’ of, ya might want to go see him; seems like he’s gotten himself out of whatever funk he was in. The distance we’re gonna have to cover means it’ll be dark well before we’re done. So, AJ and Ah figured we’d camp out, and the Crusaders asked to come along.” The moment that last sentence left my mouth, I knew I’d said too much. My mother smiled in a way alarmingly similar to Celestia when she had a plan.

“Oh, I see. Planning a romantic little camp out and the kids caught wind, eh?” she said, grinning like a Cheshire cat. I rolled my eyes. Yes, AJ and I like each other. And yes, we are in a relationship. But we aren’t at that level quite yet. Personally though, I do quite like this slow burning relationship we have. Thinking quickly, I tried to think of a rational reason why I’d asked AJ to come along.

“No, I asked AJ along because it’s safer in a group. All sorts of thing prowl around the farm at night. It ain’t safe so far away from the farmhouse at night.” I looked to Applejack, who thankfully nodded in agreement. My father then stepped in.

“Oh, leave the lad be!” he said. “Last thing he wants is you poking your nose in his love life.” I could feel my face becoming slightly less red under my coat. He then turned back to me. “Well, we were only coming up to say hello anyway. How about we stick with you a little while? We’ll head back when it starts to drop dark.”

“Sure, y’all are welcome to. Just so long as ya don’t mind walkin’ a bit; there’s still a ways to go till we get to where we were thinkin’ of campin’ for the night,” I replied warmly.

With that, my parents joined our group, now eight in number, and we began to head into the orchards, following the fence line and the setting sun.

Continuing on, we made our way towards our campsite for the night. AJ and I had been relieved of the responsibility of keeping an eye on the Crusaders. With my mother, one of their teachers along for the ride, they were behaving themselves.

Their reaction was a little strange actually. As a child, I was always a little unsettled if I ever met a teacher outside of school. Perhaps it was the oddity of seeing them as ‘normal’ people rather than inhuman monsters who exist solely to give us homework on skills we’ll never use in the real world. Apple Bloom and the others though, were completely unfazed by my mother’s arrival, possibly because of the good rapport she has with them already. Since the little incident at school, things have calmed down again. I haven’t had to comfort a crying AB in a while.

As for my father, well, he was sticking more to himself than anypony else, though Winona every now and then walked with him, hoping for a bit of food. He’s always been a bit of a loner, that’s presumably where I get my own introverted tendencies from. Still, he was content to talk to us every now and again; he hasn’t really gotten to know Applejack too well, though I know they talk occasionally at the market. He’s closer with Celestia, and of course, Discord. It certainly must make a good icebreaker at parties, to say you are friends with both a princess and the physical incarnation of chaos.

He, of course, came and talked with me every now and again as we walked. I am his son after all. I did, of course, tell him about my earlier encounter with Discord, since he had been quite concerned about him. But I think he recognised the importance of my being with AJ and having time to talk with her. Besides, my dad, when he isn’t joking or messing with me, has always been quieter than most, and I think he was quite enjoying the beauty of his surroundings. As I have said many times, particularly at the sunrise and sunset, Sweet Apple Acres can look truly beautiful.

Applejack and I had, at that point, stopped talking too and were just enjoying the walk. We’d done what we usually did and just talk about random things really; the farm, AB, Granny’s cooking, the rodeo (Big Mac and I promised that we’d stay and look after the farm so she and AB can go south to Appleloosa for the next one; for some reason they all seem to be getting cancelled left, right, and centre). When we did finally set up camp, all we’d probably do is just sit together quietly and watch the sun go down.

Unfortunately, it was at that moment that we were interrupted by the sound of a speeding pegasus passing close overhead. Briefly ducking down in case it was Derpy flying low (her ‘dive for the deck’ flying style has caused more than one crash over the years), I looked up to see who it was. Much to my surprise, I saw Lizzie, flying about twenty feet up. After passing over us, she banked around, standing almost on her wingtip, before briefly stalling and then gliding down to land gracefully in front of us.

“Hello, Lizzie,” my mother called. “What are you doing out here? I’d have thought they’d have let you off from work by now.” Settling her wings along her back, my sister explained.

“Oh, Dash let me off from work a while ago. I just like to get a quick flight in before I go to bed, get the energy out of me. I usually come over this way so I don’t disturb any of the birds that roost around Fluttershy’s. What are you guys all doing out here anyway?” We all chipped in to explain everything, from my original mission, to AJ’s idea to camp out, to the Crusaders, and finally meeting up with my parents.

“Why don’t you tag along, sis?” I suggested. “Ya can still fly about and such, and Ah’m sure Mom and Dad would like to have some time to talk with ya.” My parents both nodded in agreement.

“Alright then, I suppose I can stay for a bit. But I’ll have to split when Mum and Dad do and get back to Fluttershy’s; I promised I’d help her put some food out for the foxes to keep them away from her chickens.” With that, she took to the skies again. This time though, she only flew about six feet off the ground. That way, she could keep flying, but also stick around and talk with my parents and everypony else.

So, the nine of us continued on. What had started as just me going to check the fence line had become a fairly large outing with both my own family, and the one that had taken me in. We ended up all pitching in to help out. Applejack and I were already working, but the Crusaders quickly got curious and sought to help out, on the off chance they got their cutie marks, of course. With the kids busying themselves, my parents both stuck together for a while, before they too asked if there was anything they could do, this was quickly followed up by Lizzie, who didn’t want to be the only one not doing anything.

We ended up with a sizable workforce then. AJ and I checked the fences, the Crusaders checked any wire we came across since it was closer to their level, my parents, on the occasion we found a post coming loose, helped to get it back in place, and Lizzie using her superior speed, scouted ahead and took a look a little further inside the farm. All in all, we got quite a lot of work done.

After another hour or so, it was getting near the time to make camp for the night. My parents and Lizzie decided to stay until ten and then work their way home. For Lizzie, it would only be a short flight back to Fluttershy’s and in the air there was nothing to harm her. As for my parents, they would follow our path back to the main road and head home. Given that we were on the side of the farm facing town, there was no real risk of them running into any nocturnal creatures out on the prowl. Still, I reminded them to be doubly careful and to stick to the tracks. Whilst I greatly enjoy the night, you still have to be careful; plus they didn’t know the farm as well as I did, it can be quite easy to get lost, even with a full moon to light the way.

With the sun already beginning to dip below the horizon, we headed a little ways inside the farm and eventually set up camp in a small hollow. We were safely surrounded by the apple trees, and the small stream that the beavers fished in, which eventually led to the lake and the spot where AJ and I had first kissed, would provide us with extra water if we needed it.

Taking off our saddlebags we began to organise everything. I had the tent Applejack and I would be sharing. Luckily, compared to the modern ‘outdoor pursuits’ type tents I had had the displeasure of occasionally trying to put up, this one was quite simple. Like most of the Apple’s possessions, it had a western theme. The tent we had was just a simple frame and a large length of fabric to cover it, the sort of thing they used to teach you to live in in the Scouts. I felt like I was camping out on the range, in a way I suppose I was. The fact that I was wearing a Stetson and had a length of rope on my saddlebag belt just added to it.

Apple Bloom and the others also quickly set up their own tents. Lizzie and Mom ended up helping Sweetie Belle a little bit, since she seemed determined to do the whole thing using her magic, which was only just beginning to come into play. Scootaloo had a much easier time of it, having had RD teach her. Apple Bloom managed just fine, with my father helping her a little. I was certainly glad he helped her hammer in the pegs, doing that with your mouth looked very unpleasant. As for AJ and I, we set our own tent up, which was a little larger than the ones the kids had. We wouldn’t be packed like sardines in there. Given the warm temperature, we weren’t using sleeping bags; we just put a blanket down on the ground and would then cover ourselves up with another.

With the four tents put up in a sort of ‘wagon wheel’ fashion, we then set up a small campfire, using what fallen branches were available and then my own magic to light it. And just like that, we had our little camp all set up. Apple Bloom had insisted that we keep with tradition and bring marshmallows. We of course, also had actual food, mainly beans and biscuits as well as a few other non-perishables. All that was missing was the bully beef.

So, sitting down to dinner, we all chatted amongst ourselves. It was actually quite nice; to have my own family mixing so well with the Apples, as well as the Crusaders. We’d all done stuff together at some point, but when you get to your early twenties, it becomes much harder to get everypony together as a family. Lizzie and I had both effectively moved out, we were both employed, as were my parents, so it wasn’t too often that all our schedules lined up like this.

It was a fairly basic meal of course. Beans and biscuits are a perfectly passable meal though. It was certainly better than those MREs I’d been forced to eat on that outdoor pursuits nonsense in high school. With the right seasoning, it was almost like being back at the house. Only my father wanted something more; apples. He and my mother had originally come up this way to pick up a few, in addition to saying hello. So, with Applejack’s permission, though she did warn us to be careful this far away from the house, he and I went out a little ways to find a ripened tree to take a couple of apples from.

Unfortunately, we were not the only ones out on the farm. As we were working our way through the orchards, we briefly spotted a couple of timberwolves, which were also hunting for food. They weren’t going to bother us, but my dad, not having met timberwolves that often, panicked.

The result was the two of us came tearing back into camp, with no apples, me having fired a fair few stun spells over my shoulder, and with my dad in near hysteria screeching ‘bucking timberwolf’ over and over. After we calmed him down, and perhaps laughing a little, AJ explained how timberwolves usually didn’t bother ponies, and also reminded him of her advice on going out in the dark. He was a little embarrassed but otherwise, we were both fine. The only thing my mother had to offer to the discussion, albeit rather jokingly, was a thousand yard stare, and the phrase ‘never get out of the boat’. On that front; absolutely goddamn right.

After dinner, there was still a little bit of time before my parents and Lizzie had to head off back to their own homes. Quite quickly, the Crusaders, particularly Sweetie Belle, insisted that we sing a few campfire songs. Our first move, obviously, was to prevent Sweetie Belle regaling us with another rousing round of ‘99 Buckets of Oats on the Wall’. We ended up going around the camp trying to think of a couple of songs everypony would know, or ones that were easy enough to pick up quickly.

My mother suggested ‘Goodbye, Dolly Gray’, since the chorus was fairly easy to pick up. After that, my Dad suggested one of the songs he’d heard at Celestia’s birthday celebration; a Griffon song ‘It’s a Long Way to Tippermarey’. After that, it was ‘Pack up Your Troubles’. Then, on my turn, I taught the Crusaders and AJ ‘Home on the Range’, a fairly appropriate little song. I followed that up with another chorus based one; ‘Riding a Raid’. Applejack then brought out the old favourite ‘Apples to the Core’. I have to say, it’s really convenient in Equestria; all you have to do is start singing and the unseen instruments begin.

A little while after the singing died down, and Applejack, the Crusaders, and I were preparing to turn in, and my own family were preparing to head off home, I broke off from the group for a while to do a spot of stargazing.

What can I say? Looking at the night sky, particularly on a clear and warm summer night like tonight, was something of a habit. A perfect end to a pretty damn well perfect day if you ask me. Whilst I was contemplating the heavens, Applejack walked over to join me, sitting down beside me.

“Well, your folks and Lizzie are ‘bout to head on back,” she announced as she settled herself down next to me. “They sure made tonight more fun than an Appleloosa rodeo.” I smiled as I looked at her in the growing moonlight.

“It sure has been nice, ‘Jack. It’s always nice to see ya havin’ a bit of fun. Even if we are s’posed to be workin’,” I replied, winking at her. That got a chuckle out of her.

“Ya know though, Bones. There was one song Ah was mighty surprised ya didn’t sing for us.” I raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Oh, what song was that then, AJ?” I asked. The look on her face turned sly, and perhaps a little flirty.

“What, you don’t remember?” My confused expression must have been answer enough, for she soon quietly begin to sing a familiar song.

“Don’t sit under the apple tree, with anyone else but me.” I smiled; I knew this old number.

“Anyone else but you,” I sang back.

“Anyone else but me.”

“Don’t sit under the apple tree, with anyone else but me.”

“Till you come marchin’ home.” And with that, the two of us kissed.

After the two of us ‘came up for air’ so to speak, I looked toward my family, who were all happily chatting and playing with the Crusaders. In another two months, we will have been in Equestria for a full year. It was a unanimous verdict amongst us that it had been longer. So much had happened. Lizzie, like me, had changed species, she’d moved out, gotten a job, and was possibly in the early stages of a relationship. My parents had both gotten back into work. My mother had found a job that both paid decently and which she greatly enjoyed. My father was now close friends with a princess and the physical embodiment of chaos, as well as possessing the greatest legal account in Equestria. And as for me, well, anypony can see how much I’ve changed. I wonder how I’d react if I met myself a year ago? It was just…nice, that’s what it was. To have both of my families together, so integrated, you would have thought that my family were just like any other Equestrians you’d meet. That was what this outing was, a meeting of my family and other Equestrians.

Chapter 83 - Epilogue

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Many moons later…

I was sitting outside, in a field of moonflowers, which made it seem as if I was sitting in a field of almost pure white. Here and there you could make out the ground underneath them, and the expanse of the field was occasionally broken by the large apple trees that dotted the landscape. It was warm outside, the moon was full, and the whole world seemed to have fallen silent.

So much had happened. Applejack and I, of course, are still together, though our relationship has now progressed far beyond the mere high school sweethearts we once were. She recently got back with Apple Bloom from the rodeo in Appleloosa, where they had something of an adventure. I still live with the Apples and help on the farm. I still look after Apple Bloom when I can, and Big Mac and I are still close friends. Granny Smith is still with us too, as is Winona.

I have the occasional magic lesson with Twilight, though now I am far closer to her level of understanding. She even sometimes asks to bounce ideas off me for spells she is working on.

I also of course, drop by to see the other girls whenever I have a chance to. I have to go and see Rarity soon. Applejack and I have been invited to this year’s Grand Galloping Gala; I’m tagging along as her plus one. Ponyville’s fashion expert is going to give me some advice on styling and so forth. I thought I might dye my mane perhaps, maybe go for a silver colour to give me some maturity.

Then, of course, there is my little sister, Lizzie. Like me, she has managed to find love in this new world. She and Dewdrop have been going out for a couple of months now. With both mine and my father’s blessing I might add; I like the guy, he’s certainly no Flash Sentry. She managed to get Dewdrop a spot on the patrol, just as Dash had done for her, and the pair now regularly manage weather patterns around Ponyville. They aren’t living together yet; Lizzie is still living with Fluttershy, whilst Dewdrop is saving up for a larger house. They are both doing well; Lizzie even met Spitfire not so long ago when she went with Dash to see her train with the other Wonderbolt reservists.

My old man still has his job as Celestia’s legal advisor, though sometimes I think his remit may have come to extend a bit further. He’s presided over a couple of criminal cases since Trixie’s trial, as well as helping out with the search for the elusive Starlight Glimmer. He’s also still good friends with Discord, who has now completely reverted to his usual self, though he doesn’t annoy me quite as often now. Dad continues to commute every day up to Canterlot and comes back home at night. I still see him whenever I get the chance, often my mother will send him to fetch stuff from the market, and we will have a chance to talk.

And speaking of my mother, she’s been going steady at the elementary school. Cheerilee and her have been talking about creating a second class in the school to make the workload and student numbers easier to manage. And also possibly as a way to keep Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and the Crusaders apart. There haven’t been any major incidents, but occasionally Apple Bloom comes home a little annoyed. Dinky has continued to impress everypony, even Time Turner, with her affinity for knowledge. The old Timelord has even begun to teach Derpy a little about his own various experiments; last I heard the two of them were working on a new kind of firework.

Finally, I suppose I ought to mention Strong Shield. After just under two months off, he was reinstated and cleared as fit for duty. He was more than happy to be back yelling at the new recruits. He and I write to each other every now and then. Hopefully, I’ll be able to see him at the Gala.

I smiled as I looked out over the landscape. Equestria does indeed have flowers that bloom only at night. But I know for a fact that it does not possess the moonflowers you would find on Earth. In something that has become quite a familiar sensation to me, I felt a presence at my side, and the world around me solidified as my dreaming mind became lucid.

“Hello, Blade Star,” Luna said as she settled down beside me.

“Good evening, Luna,” I replied, touching the brim of my hat in a half-hearted formality.

“I thought that it had been long enough since we last spoke. How have you been?” she asked.

“Oh, ya know, gettin’ by. Ah thought Ah might come here to relax a little. Ah’d forgotten just how tough things can get come Applebuck Season.” Luna’s ears perked up.

“If I recall correctly, it was just before Applebuck Season when you arrived here.”

“Yep,” I replied contentedly. “Another year gone, Luna. Our first in Equestria.” I laughed a little to myself.

“Something amusing?” Luna enquired as she used her magic to correct a couple of mistakes I had made in rendering the night sky.

“Ah was just thinkin’ is all. How much things have changed over the year.” I felt a comforting wing rest itself on my back.

“Indeed, Blade Star. You have matured into a fine young gentlecolt. So strange to think that when we first met, you were a wannabe guardsman, and something of a fanatic towards me, who only saw his stay in Equestria as a temporary thing.” I cringed inwardly and facehoofed. If I could go back in time (again), I would definitely need to knock some sense into, or failing that, six bells out of, my past self.

“Yeah, Ah was a bit of an idiot when Ah first got here,” I admitted as my vision stabilised and I steadied myself. “Readin’ too many of those damn stories.” I still, to this day, cringe and lie awake at night as a consequence of my actions in those early days.

“Still, you have learned many lessons have you not?” the princess continued, relenting a little. “I recall you were, for a day or two, the talk of the town in Canterlot’s fashion circles after your time with Rarity. And there was that ‘incident’ with that reporter, of course.” Now that was a good memory; my hoof hurt like Tartarus at the time though.

“Hay, it was that night Rarity talked some sense into me an’ got me to realise how much AJ liked me.”

“And yet you still managed to avoid that issue for what, three months?”

“In my defence, Ah’d never had something like that happen before. We’ve both still learning as we go, regardless of what your adoptive niece says. But Ah will admit, bein’ in Equestria has allowed me to open up a bit more. Ah can’t say the same thing would’ve happened back on Earth.”

“And then of course,” Luna went on. “There was your experience with one my sister’s guards; Captain Strong Shield, correct?”

“Now he, Luna, has taught me a lot. And Ah don’t just mean all the protection magic either. Whether he meant to or not, he made me realise how prejudiced Ah could be; another left over from Earth.” I snorted irritably.

“That is not necessarily so, Blade Star. Equestria may be peaceful, but it is not without its inequalities. Your willingness to step back and evaluate yourself is most admirable. Between you and me, even my sister was initially livid when she heard of her guard’s true nature.” Now that was a scarce event. I had thought only Discord could really annoy the usually composed Celestia. But, given her experience with them, it was understandable that she too might harbour some irrational anger.

“You know, Ah reckon it was the idea of Applejack seein’ me like that, which convinced me to drop it. Ah liked her back then, and Ah sure as hay knew she liked me. Ah couldn’t stand to imagine what she’d think of me. It all pushed me toward love instead of hate.”

“I believe Cadence had something of a role in your final acceptance though, did she not?” I shot Luna a faux-angered look. I still can’t stand Equestria’s Cupid for love nor money.

“Perhaps,” I admitted, a little sullenly. “Though sometimes Ah reckon Discord had just as much a hoof in it as anypony else. And, of course, as if that weren’t enough, come April Fools, Ah end up with wings.” Luna burst out into laughter again.

“Yes, Discord told me about that. I am surprised you didn’t elect to keep them. It has been a long time since there has been a male alicorn after all. Who knows, perhaps we might have even made you a prince?” I could quite easily tell she was humouring me; royalty was not something I desired anyway.

“And it wasn’t a week or so later you kindly agreed to link up Applejack’s dream with mine for our little getaway. That was pretty much what sealed the deal after all.”

“Yes, just as you let love into your life, you also made a final peace with its counterpart. Whilst I have always distrusted time travel spells, it certainly brought home the seriousness of your feelings.” I nodded, remembering what I had done in Canterlot, a few years before I arrived in Equestria. That was something that would stay with me for a long time.

“And then there was the family reunion, and after that, the celebration. So, we find ourselves here.”

“Indeed, Blade Star,” Luna replied. “You have had many adventures, of sorts, over this past year. Tell me, what have you taken from it all?” I smiled as I thought to myself. I had learned so much, it was difficult to sum it all up in… I looked over to Luna, who was smirking to herself, as I realised what she was asking.

“Princess Luna,” I said, smiling slyly. “You want a friendship report, don’t you.” The wise lunar diarch smiled.

“It is something you have wanted to do since you got here, is it not?” she replied. I wondered how long she had been sitting on that one. She was right though. On occasion I had written one or two back on Earth. I thought for a moment, about how best to sum everything up.

Furrowing my brow, I tried to think of something. With all I've done and with what the people and ponies around me have done, what one thing have I learned from it? I thought of my family, the changelings, the ponies I knew from the show and the ones I've come to meet here. Then the image my family with the Apples all gathered around that campfire came into my mind. I saw my sister playing with Apple Bloom and Winona, Big Mac and Granny talking to my parents back at the farmhouse, and Applejack smiling as she looked my way when I first came back from Canterlot. With that I began my first report. From some unknown location, the familiar clarinet solo began to play.

"Ah've learned that simplicity is one of life's biggest accomplishments. As nice as it is to have a goal and strive for something great, simplicity is by far the greatest of all. It's a sign that you've done what you can, that there are no more great challenges, that you're finally done. When life becomes simple, you can feel proud of that fact and relax. 'Cause that’s it; ya did it."

"Hmm,” Luna replied, placing a hoof to her chin on thought. “I was expecting something more along the lines of 'revenge and grudges corrupt' or 'life in a new world can be a good thing' or perhaps 'new experience can be a catalyst for improving yourself'." I pushed my Stetson a little way back on my head

"Well, Ah thought of those as well, and Ah reckon Ah’ve learned those lessons too. But those can be learned along the way. You can't understand simplicity until the end."

“So, this is the end of your adventure then?” Luna asked me. I smiled and shook my head.

“No, this is not the end, Luna. This is just the beginning.”