Chapter 81 - Down the Rabbit Hole
I woke up after a few hours to find that it had just gone midday. Since everypony had stayed up all night and a bit of the morning for the Summer Sun Celebration, we’d all taken the morning off to catch up on our sleep. Trust me, you don’t want to be around Applejack when she’s cranky, nor do you want to come between her and her apple coffee.
Stumbling downstairs, I too grabbed myself a cup to put a bit more of a spring in my step. Even with the rest, my body clock was still a little out of sorts. Still a little tired, we all sat down to…lunch, I suppose. Of course, the food on offer was decidedly breakfast based. We chatted here and there, but we were all still a little groggy. Applejack apologised for falling asleep on the way back to the farm, not that it was really her fault, she just doesn’t like the idea of inconveniencing anypony. She might accept help if needed, but if the need for help could have been avoided, she always feels a little guilty. I merely replied that it was no issue, demonstrating this fact by bodily lifting her up in my magic. That earned a very adorable squeak from her and a warning look from Big Mac.
As for Apple Bloom and Granny Smith, my little display woke them both up. Like most elderly folk, Granny is very set in her ways; she doesn’t therefore, particularly care for me flaunting my magic. She doesn’t mind how it helps out on the farm, but I think at times she finds it a little off putting. In any case, she merely said;
“Now, now, Bones. No magic at the breakfast table.” I promptly set her granddaughter back down, letting her straighten her hat.
Apple Bloom on the other hand was enthralled with the display. Though I do worry that she passes on what she sees to Sweetie Belle, whose magic has just begun to come to fruition. She of course, would be at home all day. The Summer Sun Celebration was a national holiday; no school, no banks or other shops were open, and the local market in town was closed. It was a chance for everypony to just catch up on their sleep.
The only real thing that needed doing today was the usual quick check of the fence line. Sweet Apple Acres is, as you might expect, entirely fenced off in one way or another to mark out the line between private land and the public land belonging to Ponyville. With cattle and sheep roaming around, as well as the effects of weather, these fences could fall into disrepair. As such, once a week, at least one of us would take a walk around the entire perimeter of the farm, checking for any signs of fences breaking. After all, any hole could easily let in grazing animals or worse, thieves. It wasn’t that long ago that we caught Flim and Flam skulking around; they’d gotten in via a broken down bit of fencing.
So, since I was the most well rested, it was mutually decided that I ought to be the one to do it this week. We tended to do it on rotation; Mac one week, then AJ, then me. Sometimes, Applejack and I would use it as an opportunity to go for a quiet walk together. In the event any work did need doing of course, then Applejack and her older brother would come out to help remove the old fence and put in the new one.
“Alright then, everypony,” I said, putting my Stetson on my head and grabbing a small bag, which contained a ploughman’s lunch, as well as a canteen filled with water. “Ah reckon Ah shouldn’t be more than a couple of hours. If Ah ain’t back by nightfall come lookin’ for me, ya hear?” It would be a long trek after all, hence the food and safety arrangements.
“Sure thing, Bones. Listen, if’n ya get into trouble or anything, try throwin’ up one of those flare spells ya got,” Applejack suggested. A clever idea, and one I hadn’t considered.
“Right, Applejack,” I replied, nodding to her. “See ya later everypony!” Mac, AB and Granny all called goodbye, and I set off to ride the land.
While it was a hay of a long trek all around the farm, I usually enjoyed it for the most part. I was a little disappointed that Applejack wasn’t with me this time around, but the work was still enjoyable in and of itself. Normally, I wouldn’t even call it work. All I have to do is go around the perimeter of Sweet Apple Acres and ensure nothing is amiss. I was effectively getting paid for taking a pleasant afternoon walk, albeit a very long one.
Even if I did run into anything, it would usually be a case of putting up new fences, work that I found equally enjoyable and rewarding. The only real risk was running into the extremely rare apple thief. On the frontier or nearer to some of the larger cities, this might be more of a problem, but out here, where ponies rarely locked their doors, not so much. Even in such an event, I had magic on my side. And, as Granny Smith is fond of saying:
‘An apple a day will keep anything away…if thrown hard enough.’
So, all in all, I had little to do apart from putting one hoof in front of the other. The weather was, of course, very warm by this point. It was just after half past twelve when I set out, so at least the midday sun was passing. Despite all the appreciation Celestia had received at the celebration, she still seemed determined to cook us all. I was grateful for the canteen attached to the straps on the small saddle bag. I would need the extra fluids to stay hydrated in this heat. Being such a long trip, I would take breaks every now and again; finding a shady spot to rest up, eat, and drink.
As I continued to work my way around the farm, I found little to attract my attention. The fences were all in good shape, with no damage or signs of anypony trying to clamber over them. There was no sign of any animals inadvertently entering the farm and all the nearby trees looked healthy. They were all beginning to bear fruit now; in another couple months or so it would be Applebuck Season again. Last on my list was a few of the outlying storage barns, making sure they were still locked up; Applejack had told me of one incident where she’s caught a couple of thieves hiding out in the barn to avoid being noticed trespassing.
About an hour into my little patrol, I was starting to sweat a little and my supplies were beginning to run low. Since this was officially the longest day of the year, it meant that the temperature wouldn’t be dropping much for another few hours. I would have to ration my water carefully. The monotonous nature of my work was beginning to get to me.
But, as they say, ‘be careful what you wish for’. As I continued to make my way along one of the many paths through the orchards, I heard the typical sound of a teleport and a white light appeared in my peripheral vision. Turning to my left, I spotted Discord.
The draconequus had materialised between two apple trees and was currently suspended between them like a hammock. His tail had curled around the trunk of one tree, whist his arms were locked around the other, allowing him to hang between them. He sighed contentedly.
“Oh isn’t it a beautiful day; the sun’s shining, the birds are singing, and there’s nothing to do but laze about.”
“Hey, Discord,” I said good naturedly. If he was going to be all friendly, regardless of whatever game he is playing, it wouldn’t hurt to encourage the behaviour.
“Blade Star! I didn’t realise you were out here,” he replied. Of course he didn’t. “I would have thought you’d still be in bed.”
“Ah got enough sleep in the mornin’, Discord. Besides, the fence line needs a quick check, and it ain’t no real bother.”
“So that’s why you’re out here,” he went on. “I should have guessed it would have something to do with apples. You’re almost as bad as that marefriend of yours.” I rolled my eyes in annoyance, but it would take far more than that to rile me up.
“Why are y’all out here anyway? Don’t ya have some chaos to attend to?” Discord waved a lion paw dismissively.
“Not today, dear boy. For now everything’s bubbling away nicely, I even took time to give the old homestead a quick cleaning.” Since it appeared I was in for a lengthy chat, I settled myself down in the shade of one of the larger trees, opposite to Discord.
“Ya were helpin’ Fluttershy out?”
“No, no, no,” Discord replied, shaking his head. “I mean my own place. Sure I may stop by for tea every Tuesday and crash there once in a while, but I’ll have you know I’m a registered homeowner, Blade Star.” Then I made the fatal misstep.
“Where?”
Discord, is officially known as the ‘Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony’; he specialises in all things chaotic. His magic is chaos based and functions in a radically different way to my own, or even that of the alicorns. His physical appearance is also representative of this, as is the case with his personality. Consequently, the place he called home followed a similar pattern.
Given his existing similarities to Q, I was expecting a metaphysical representation of this ‘realm’, if you can call it that. I figured that as Discord was chaos, his home would be too, such chaos would be impossible for the mind to comprehend. Q overcame this issue by allowing the few humans who visited the Continuum to perceive it in a manner they could understand. However, Discord did no such things, and I was confronted with the perplexing, and downright horrifying nature of where he lived.
The best simple description I can give is this; imagine if Salvador Dali painted Equestria. That was the result; it was all melting. There were elements from the world that I was familiar with, but none of them quite made sense. There was a ground of sorts, but you couldn’t actually feel it. Gravity was very much a haphazard affair, and this was worsened by the lack of a horizon, aside from the many odd things floating around, the place was a void. This world was filled with creatures made up in a style similar to Discord himself, odd mish-mash creatures. I saw badgers flying with eagle wings. Rabbit like creatures with unusually long legs tearing across invisible plains. I even saw an odd blob like being that seemed to just float around, occasionally altering its overall shape.
But most disturbing of all was the being I met just before we reached our destination. It was a unicorn, and a fairly normal looking one at that, quite an odd thing to see in this chaos dimension.
She, for it was a mare, was of a fairly average build and had a slate grey coat.
And a dark blue mane.
And wore a Stetson hat on her head.
Did I mention her crossed swords cutie mark?
We passed each other briefly, and we both awkwardly waved at the other. After that, she entered what looked like a wormhole of sorts, which Discord told me led back to her version of Equestria. So…yeah…I met Blade Star.
Discord led me towards his home; right in the middle of this chaos was a small house. It was similar to Fluttershy’s cottage in a way, but had the properties of everything else in this dimension. My stomach was churning badly from the lack of and at the same time, presence of gravity. No horizon meant I was getting vertigo. Everything was, or seemed to be floating, so I had no fixed point of reference to determine up or down. The various creatures flew or passed, since not all were flying, perilously close to us.
“Ya live here?” I asked, still trying to find a way to stand up. Discord turned back to look at me, rolling his eyes at my discomfort.
“It may not be much, Blade Star, but yes; this is my home.” He scratched the back of his head. “Well technically it’s a pocket dimension; somewhere where I can cause chaos without Celestia getting all irritable and complaining about how it’s going to destroy Equestria. Plus calling it a dimension gets me around a few zoning laws and I don’t have to claim it as an asset on my taxes.” ‘Discord pays tax?’ I thought to myself. I struggled to reconnect with the intermittent ground.
“So what’s with all these…things around us?”
“Just by products, and a few projects I’m working on. Don’t worry, they shouldn’t hurt you. Even if they do, you won’t know much about it.” He chuckled to himself. “Look, if anything does try to jump you, just make a run for that black hole we passed earlier, it should take you back to Equestria.”
“Fair enough,” I replied. I desperately tried to bury my current fear towards this place. And I’d rather not have Discord laughing at me the entire time.
“It’s so nice you wanted to come and visit, dear boy,” Discord went on. “It isn’t often I get visitors. Usually I’m the one who has to do the travelling.” Did I detect a hint of resentment there? “Anyway, come on in and make yourself at home.” Reaching forward, Discord threw open the front door of his home, which led into what looked like a living room, though it was hard to tell since most of the furniture was on the ceiling. Still, at least there was an identifiable floor and gravity now. I seated myself down on the nearby sofa, whilst Discord, in perhaps his most chaotic act yet, poured tea; rooibos with a couple of sugars. I guess that is one thing we have in common. Still, I wasn’t quite sure how to proceed. I had, rather foolishly, asked Discord about his home. He had now brought me to it, against my will, to show it to me. Social customs demanded that I be gracious, but I knew that he knew I was busy on the farm.
As I tried to work out exactly how I was going to deal with this situation, Discord was engaging in idle small talk, mainly about Fluttershy of course. As hard as it is to believe, he genuinely does have a very close friendship with her and he wants to keep it that way. Only problem is, he isn’t exactly used to the idea of having friends. I suppose that makes him a little bit like Twilight.
Sweet Celestia! Did I just compare Discord to Twilight Sparkle? Eventually, I managed to think of something to say back.
“So how long have you had this place anyway, Discord?” I enquired.
“Oh, ever since I got out. I need some time to stretch my chaotic muscles, but I could never impose all that on Fluttershy. Celestia suggested it and got all the paperwork done for me.”
“Practicalities must be a bit difficult though,” I replied. “Ah mean, a void’s gotta be mighty tricky to heat when you set this place on winter, and Ah bet the mail takes it sweet old time getting’ here.” This realm was pure chaos, so I decided to throw logic out the window.
“Yes, those mail ponies do seem to have something of a dislike for coming here. I mean yes okay, one of them got caught by that sock puppet, but he was fine in the end! Celestia has taken to sending messages through her magic instead. It took a bit of work, but those quantum singularities can be made to work pretty much the same way as that little pet dragon of hers.”
“Spike isn’t a pet, Discord,” I countered. “How about temporal mechanics, did ya suspend those when you made this place?” Discord nodded.
“Very good eye. You’re only the third pony to spot that, after Celestia and that lunatic clockmaker. Even I find something odd about him. He even comes here every now and again to ‘study’ the place.” This small talk wasn’t really going anywhere. Discord does everything for a reason, so I was here for something. Recalling what Luna had said to me, I decided to broach another topic.
“How have y’all been holdin’ up anyway, Discord? It’s been a few days since Ah’ve seen ya. Fluttershy says y’all have been pretty busy this past week.” This was actually second-hoof news from Lizzie and my father. Like me, as well, as Luna, they’d noticed Discord had been doing a great deal to keep himself busy, mainly acting in an altruistic manner. In other words, acting out of his usual character. Discord however, tried to ignore all that.
“Oh you know, this and that. Keeping things ticking over.” I decided to go for broke.
“Well, Ah know for a fact a few ponies are gettin’ mighty worried ‘bout ya.” Discord cocked his head.
“Me, whatever for?”
“Well, it’s just, ya seem to be out of sorts is all. Like, the other day when ya helped out plantin’ all those new apple trees, or getting’ all of my Dad’s paperwork done for him. Ah ain’t sayin’ Ah don’t like it. Truth be told, we all think it’s great progress on your reformation. But we’re all worried ‘bout the reason behind it.” I sighed and put a hoof on the bridge of my nose. “Look, Discord, if this is about what happened with Tirek…” I didn’t get to finish that sentence.
In milliseconds, Discord was on his feet, eyes ablaze with unbridled anger. His snake tail developed a rattle on the end which quickly began producing the tell-tale sound of an angry serpent. Grabbing me by the scruff of my neck, he leaned down to look me in the eye. With his reformation and all, I’d forgotten just how frightening he can be. This was the guy who previously sat in Celestia’s chair and ruled Equestria with an iron grip after all.
“Do not…speak that name…in this house!” he snarled. He then promptly removed one of his horns from his head and hurled it with as much force as he could muster, at a large dartboard which had suddenly appeared, which had Tirek’s face in the centre. I noticed it was not the first, the board was littered with other horns; evidently he’d lost his cool more than once. Ponies often forget that at times Discord can have a real temper.
Quite suddenly though, he let me go, allowing me to land on the floor with a soft thud, and retreated back to his sitting position.
“Sorry, Blade Star, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Snapping his talons, a replacement horn appeared on his head.
“It’s okay,” I replied, my heart still thumping in my chest and my life still flashing before my eyes. “Do you want to talk ‘bout it. Ah’m here, and Ah promise Ah won’t tell nopony.” Sometimes I think AJ’s element is rubbing off on me, I have gotten better with the truth since I ended up here; when I was a kid I was a compulsive liar. At length, Discord nodded.
“It’s not what happened that I’m really worried about,” he said. “It’s the future. You can take Discord out of the chaos, but you can’t take the chaos out of Discord.”
“Go on,” I prodded. Whatever he had to say, he needed to say it.
“Did your old man tell you about our little visit to Tartarus?” I nodded.
“The two of ya went to see Tirek. Ah gotta admit, kudos for that idea with Cerberus. A fate worse than death, Ah reckon.”
“Well, I sent him home before I was finished with Tirek,” Discord went on. “I had a chat with him. I told him if he ever set hoof outside his cage, I’d kill him; no imprisonment, no reforming, just kill him. I even put a claw around his neck.” The dark part of me that threw a changeling queen to her death pricked its ears up. It certainly wouldn’t mind taking part in such an endeavour. Of course, it insisted that it would need a straight razor, a petrol can, a zippo lighter, and a copy of a Steelers Wheels CD. “Do you know what he did? He laughed. He said that I was just like him.”
“You don’t believe that do you?” I asked. Even when he was an enemy of Equestria, Discord was nothing like Tirek. He never truly harmed ponies. He was mean and arguably cruel, but not evil. And he certainly wasn’t now.
“I used ponies who thought they were my friends for my own use. I threatened to kill another being. I manipulated ponies. Doesn’t that sound familiar? I did all of that at some point or another,” Discord replied bitterly. “Am I evil, Blade Star?” This was moving beyond a friend comforting another, towards debates on philosophy and morality.
As I was trying to think of a proper argument and response to Discord, the front door of his house blew open. He’d told me before that Time Turner occasionally frequented this place, but I didn’t expect to see Equestria’s other Timelord to come floating through. Maintaining the effects of zero gravity, Dinky floated through the front room, past the two of us and out through an open window on the opposite side. As she passed, she offered up her two bits, though how she knew what we were talking about is beyond me.
“Evil is not Chaos, but neither is being good. Evil cannot be good, and good shouldn't be evil. But the good can take of the lessons of evil if their moral is still defined, and evil at its worst uses the lessons of the good. Chaos is evil and good. Chaos is using the lessons of good to fulfil the morals of evil to do good. So, Chaos can't be good or evil, because it is both. Just remember, good, evil, neither, or both, it’s here and it’s necessary. Chaos, the contradiction, rulebook and only check of logic.” And with that she floated out.
I…I don’t think there’s much in the way of an answer to that. It answered Discord’s concern in any case. I’ve always said that chaos and evil are not the same, but I don’t think I could articulate it quite like that. I suppose it is true what they say ‘from the mouths of babes’ and so on. The two of us sat there confused for several moments longer.
“Well, Ah…Ah guess that answers your question,” I said eventually, still struggling to understand half of what Dinky had said. I may have dabbled in philosophy in high school, but I don’t think I ever truly understood it. My mind is far too grounded in logic. Discord on the other hand, seemed to roughly understand what Dinky meant.
“I suppose she has a point, chaos is both good and evil, and it’s also neither. I guess then you could say I’m neutral. Yes, I’m chaotic neutral.”
“Er, run that by me again, Discord?”
“Think about it,” he went on, his confidence in himself rapidly returning. “If I hadn’t forced Tia and Lulu to throw me out, they would never have discovered the elements. If I hadn’t corrupted Twilight and the others, their friendship would not have strengthened in the way it has. If I hadn’t helped Tirek, they wouldn’t have unlocked that box and discovered that new castle. It all makes sense now! Okay it brings up a few issues with my free will, but I am not evil, Blade Star! I am chaotic!”
I roughly understood what he meant, though I did wish he wouldn’t call it ‘chaotic neutral’. His actions, both those perceived as good and bad, all in the end contributed to our own good, by ensuring certain things happened. The only issue was that at times, the means Discord used could be perceived as evil, such as his own reign over Equestria.
“So…are you better now?” I asked as he calmed down from his sudden realisation. Discord looked at me, grinning.
“Better, dear boy? I’m brilliant! I’m a genius and I didn’t even realise it!” I sensed his old self reasserting itself. “Alright, thanks for dropping by and all the help and what not. I expect you’ve got plenty of work to catch up on.” With a snap of his talons, gravity ceased being an issue for me and I began to float again.
Tumbling head over heels I floated away from the house out into the void. A moment later, Discord snapped his talons and I left that strange chaotic pocket dimension. I felt myself land on something fairly solid. Opening my eyes and looking around I found myself on the hardwood floor of the farmhouse kitchen. Staring at me in confusion were Applejack, AB, and Big Mac, with Granny Smith continuing to snore in her rocking chair. As I stood up and mentally formed an explanation for my sudden appearance, Discord reappeared.
Emerging out of a dimensional tear, though one that was still connected to this world rather than a true dimensional tear such as the one I and my family arrived through, Discord poked his head out.
“Sorry to drop you off here, dear boy. But I couldn’t quite remember where I picked you up. Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s not that far. Anyway, must dash; I’ve got to go see Fluttershy.” And with that he disappeared.
“Bones, ya okay?” Applejack asked as I got to my feet. I nodded in assurance. A moment later though, I realised what Discord had said.
I still had to do that fence check, from the start, all over again.
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For some reason, Im thinking of curried oats, and Kochansky.
chaos dimension! yay!
Sidetrack Dinky's little speech is exultant as is this hole chapter.
I love string theory
.
Harts Fire
6084442
My bad i actually meant it the other way around, also I answered it because i actually downvoted the story while still favoriting it, so i gave him my reason.
by the way... Necromancer is that you?(answering a comment from 21 weeks ago?).
6084871 I.. Am...Hal...
6103209 Wow, you've found a very, very old mistake on my part. Thank you for commenting on it, editing now.
6106678 I am actually putting that in the epilogue which will be published next week. Blade Star does show remorse and great embarrassment for doing that when Luna asks him about it. In the real world, I don't actually remember why I did it, early days of writing I guess, dumb decisions.
I've been tempted a number of times to just retcon it (I've already revised a fair bit of the early story), but then I'd need a new explanation for meeting Strong Shield and his initially cold reaction towards Blade Star. And to explain to lack of ugly reprisals, very few ponies actually know anything about it, hence why Blade Star gets on with other guards he meets later.
If I had the skill, I'd put in a link to the opening of the old "Twilight Zone' TV show.