My Family and Other Equestrians

by Blade Star

Interlude 5 - If

Note: This chapter takes place from the perspective of Blade Star's mother.

The bell rang in the schoolhouse, startling a few of the foals that had been drifting off through the lesson. It was about half past ten in the morning and that meant the kids were due their morning break, or recess as they insisted on calling it. Cheerilee had asked me to take a couple of the lessons myself today so she could catch up on some of the marking and other school paperwork she had to do.

This left me in charge all morning and for a fair portion of the afternoon, Cheerilee promised that she would take over for the last two lessons and that she would be on hand in her office if anything came up. Though personally, her office was more like a cupboard with barely enough room for a pony to stand still in, never mind a human. I still wasn’t officially a teacher yet. Apparently the brass would be coming down in a week or so. I’d be required to teach a full lesson of their choice, all the while closely monitored. For the moment, I could take lessons, so long as Cheerilee was close by.

We’d just finished up a maths lesson. Fortunately basic mathematical principles seem to be a universal constant or at least two plus two equalled four both on Earth and Equestria. History and Geography were a bit trickier for me. I used to criticise some teachers, usually supply ones, that were only a lesson or two ahead of their students, but now I found myself in the same situation. Twilight and Spike had been helping me with the basics for a few weeks now and I was getting better. I certainly felt I’d be able to get through whatever the inspectors might throw at me.

For now though, all I had to do was keep an eye on all of them on the playground. The class was no more than twenty or so, so it wasn’t too hard. Back home, you’d often have two or three teachers watching a good hundred and fifty. If the schoolhouse here existed back on Earth, the council would have closed it in a heartbeat, no doubt moving all the kids to some massive ‘super school’. But there was no chance of that happening here.

The day was slightly overcast and the trees were all now pretty much bare. Before long we were expecting snow. Well, I suppose we actually knew there would be snow, since that been the plan laid down by Cloudsdale, which from what I can make out is some kind of control centre for all things meteorological. It still struck me as a mad idea; a whole city made of clouds. It was whilst thinking this that Cheerilee snuck up on me.

“Hey Margaret,” she said. Her sudden interruption made me start. I turned round to find her standing right behind me.

“Oh, hey Cheerilee. You spooked me there.” The mare smiled.

“Sorry, just checking up on you. And I’m sick of writing at this point.” How she or any of the Earth ponies or pegasi could even write legibly with just their mouths was beyond me. “Any problems?”

“No, kids are doing fine for the moment and…” I trailed off. “Uh oh.” Cheerilee spotted it as soon as I did. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were bickering with the Crusaders. Again. I’ve seen kids go at each other before, it’s sadly a part of school life, but the continued vindictiveness of Diamond Tiara surprised me. Her main argument seemed to be she was the better filly due to possessing a mark on her rear end. I knew about cutie marks and the general idea behind them, but I had never come across such elitism over them.

“It’s your turn,” Cheerilee said tiredly. “I’ll keep an eye on the rest.” I nodded and headed over to the five arguing foals.

When I reached them, the five girls were in a full-fledged argument.

“Well, chicken, still think you can fly?” Diamond Tiara goaded.

“I wasn’t trying’ to fly, I was trying to stand on Sweetie Belle’s shoulders. And I was doing fine until you came along!” Scootaloo replied angrily.

“It’s no wonder you can’t fly then, you can even keep yourself balanced,” Silver Spoon countered.

“At least we’re doing something fer Nightmare Night, Diamond Tiara. Ah don’t see you with any one of a kind costume,” Chipped in Apple Bloom.

“Oh what’s that then? The three clumsy blank flanks? I don’t think you’ll need a costume.” The two fell into laughter. I’d had enough of this. It was bad enough that those two were mean as anything, it was worse that they enjoyed it.

“Alright, what’s going on here?” I asked the assembled combatants. Diamond Tiara quickly turned round to face me; a cheap plastic smile adorned her face.

“Oh nothing, Mrs Owen. We were just chatting about Nightmare Night.” I folded my arms. They seemed to recognise this as meaning ‘try again’. “We were talking to the three blank, I mean, the Cutie Mark Crusaders about what they were dressing up as.”

“Really?” I replied. “Well that’s nice.” I did my best to sound sincere and ignore the looks coming from the Crusaders. “And what are you going as?” I asked the spoilt filly.

“Well, naturally, a princess. I have a tiara after all.” Unknowingly, she’d steered the conversation exactly where I wanted it to go.

“Do you mind if I have a look at that tiara? I can’t say I’ve seen such an expensive one before.” The filly handed me her gaudy headpiece.

A while ago, I’d been watching a detective show with my son. In one episode, the case had revolved around a stolen cache of diamonds. They were apparently returned by the thieves. But after testing they were found to be fakes. The simplest test was glass; a diamond will scratch glass like nothing else can. There was a small window in the sports shed.

“You know, if I remember correctly, diamonds are so tough that they can scratch glass without damaging themselves. Shall we try it?” I covertly winked at the Crusaders who readily agreed with Diamond Tiara.

We walked over to the shed’s window and carefully holding the tiara, I scraped one of the stones on the glass. It didn’t make a scratch, probably cubic zirconium. As soon as the group saw the lack of damage, Diamond Tiara’s jaw dropped, while the Crusaders began to snigger.

“Hmm,” I said, taking a long while to examine the no doubt cheap tiara. “Perhaps you should have this looked at.” The filly promptly tore it from my grasp and stalked off, Silver Spoon following close behind. I turned to the Crusaders. “Perhaps she should change her name to Cubic Zirconium Tiara, eh?” I was rewarded with a number of high fives.

---

A while later the bell rang again and the youngsters filed back inside. I had one more lesson to teach myself before Cheerilee would return. We would then split the work between us. While I was still learning the finer details of the pre-Classical era of Equestrian history, having two teachers really helped improve the overall quality of each class.

Cheerilee though could easily put me to shame. I guessed we were about the same age, but she was far more talented as a teacher than I was. Were she a teacher back home, she would probably have no trouble tackling a class of Year 6 students. She could take almost any subject and make it enjoyable for everyone concerned. Normally when you try to do that, you end up getting too friendly with the kids and that affects discipline.

For now though, I would have to manage on my own. Sitting down at the desk (the chair was taken from our new house) I looked through the lesson plans Cheerilee had left as a general guide. This period was marked as ‘Equestrian Literature’. Below this Cheerilee had written the following:

‘Just pick a poem and have them write it out themselves and discuss it.’

Simple enough. I reached for one of the many textbooks in the schoolhouse on the subject. There were a few on poetry so I couldn’t foresee any problems. Then though, I had an idea. Why not teach them about a poem penned by humanity? It still fulfilled the lesson requirements and it would be something new. With that in mind I quickly settled on a poem.

“Alright, quiet down everypony,” I called out, the foals all hushed in response. Nice to know I haven’t lost the knack. “Right, the last lesson I’ll be teaching you before Ms Cheerilee comes back is going to be on poetry.” At this they all let out a groan.

“Yes I know it’s a bit boring,” I replied. “So I thought we might look at a poem from my world. I can guarantee nopony else will have heard it, you’ll be the first.” This peaked the children’s interest. Walking over to the blackboard, I picked up a piece of chalk and wrote the title. ‘If’.

“If?” Asked Twist. “If what?” I smiled.

“That’s the whole point of the poem, Twist,” I answered. “Now, I don’t have it written down, but I do have it up here.” I tapped the side of my head. “So I’ll dictate.” And with that I began. It was good practice for the kids to learn to write like this. I had to stop and repeat myself a few times with difficult words here and there, but otherwise there were no issues. I was slightly surprised that I still remembered it all after so long, after all, it had been my father who had taught it to me. Finally, we finished.

“Alright, now swap with the pony next to you and double check each other’s work.” A ruffling of paper followed. It would be nice if it caught on and stuck in their minds, the poem was good advice for life for my money. There were plenty of things for the Crusaders to draw on, as well as Diamond Tiara. Inevitably though, trouble brewed.

Since Diamond Tiara was sitting next to Scootaloo and Silver Spoon was sandwiched between Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, they had all swapped papers with each other. This had led to Diamond Tiara, in a frankly childish (even by her standards) move, to mark a good half of Scootaloo’s work as wrong. This of course was not the case. Whilst Scoots was by no means top of the class, she was a bright young thing. When the papers were returned, the inevitable happened.

“Hey, what the hay is this for?!” Scootaloo demanded. Diamond Tiara simply looked smug.

“Well, I’m sorry if I couldn’t make heads or tails of your chicken scratch, Chicken.” Then more inevitable happened.

“For the last time, I am not a chicken!” The orange filly’s wings buzzed like an angry hornet. So I waded in again.

“Diamond Tiara,” I said evenly. “Can I talk to you outside?” Anypony could tell that wasn’t a request. She pouted briefly before following me out into the hall. “The rest of you, do any corrections you have and start having a go at memorising the first part.”

Closing the door behind me, I took her a little way down the hall so as to be out of site from the others.

“Now, what was all that about?” I asked her. The filly continued to pout in silence. “I’m waiting.” The filly kept quiet for a little while longer before finally giving in. Children, of any species apparently, can’t stand being in silence near authority figures.

“I wasn’t doing anything. It’s not my fault that stupid chicken’s writing is illegible.”

“First of all, her name is Scootaloo. She calls you by your name, the least you can do is show her the same courtesy,” I countered. “Secondly, I looked at her work. Underneath your scribbling, I could not find a single fault. You however, have yet to correctly spell the word ‘incorrect’.”

“But…” the filly tried to cut me off.

“Diamond Tiara, I am sick and tired of you making everypony else’s day a misery, mine and Ms Cheerilee’s included. You’re staying behind for an hour today.” Now the filly fumed.

“You can’t do that! You’re not my teacher! My daddy won’t let you!”

“I can and I will. I’m certain Ms Cheerilee will agree with my decision. And your father is beside the point.” Somehow, she’d got it into her head that her father’s position as head of a small time outlet chain gave her the authority to do as she pleased. It would probably mean a difficult conversation later though.

Filthy Rich, he preferred to be addressed as ‘Mr Rich’ though many called him ‘Filthy’ behind his back. He was one of those parents who dotted on their child all through their lives. No matter what I or anypony else might say, their child was perfect and it must surely be the other parent’s offspring that were at fault. This of course, might explain Diamond Tiara’s behaviour.

The trouble was that, in spite of his relatively low position in the greater scheme of things, he did have a fair bit of pull on the local level. That meant he usually had the ear of at least one of the school governors, who oversaw schools all around the region.

---

“Cheerilee, just let me keep her back for an hour,” I pleaded as the day drew to a close. After handing over to her for the History lesson, she’d set the youngsters about their work and led me to her small office. While she completely agreed with me on the subject of a certain spoilt filly, she felt her hooves were tied.

“I know how you feel, Margaret. But I also don’t want to have Filthy and Co. come barging in here with a letter of complaint to the governors.” I groaned, evidently she had tried something similar in the past. “Diamond will tell her father, misconstrued the whole thing, which will then reach the governors. That could cost me my job.”

“You’re not serious?” I asked incredulously. Even by Earth standards that was a daft system. Cheerilee however nodded.

“The whole school system is decentralised. It’s usually pretty relaxed, but if a complaint comes up somepony from Manehatten or Fillydelphia will come down on me like a tonne of bricks. All they’ll see is ‘teacher being vindictive toward student’.” It was then, a thought occurred to me.

“Cheerilee, I work here but I’m not technically on the books, right?” She nodded. “Then they have no power to dismiss me, and I can’t see them going to the trouble to physically stop me from coming here every day. If I do everything, on my own authority, then Filthy’s got nothing.” Cheerilee looked up from her desk.

“For that to work, we would need to have not had this conversation.”

“What conversation?” I replied, grinning.

“Do it,” Cheerilee answered. “It’s about time I was able to put Diamond Tiara in her place.” And with that we both returned to the classroom to give Diamond Tiara the ‘good’ news, in as public a manner as possible.

---

The last bell rang and the students all filed out. All except one. Still pouting, Diamond Tiara remained in her seat. I’d given her a written copy of the poem we had been studying, and told her I wanted a dozen copies before she left. I saw Cheerilee pass by in the hall.

“You off?” I asked.

“Yep, Mac and I have a date tonight.” If I’d been drinking something, I would definitely have done a spit take.

“Mac? As in Big Mac? Applejack’s brother?” I asked. I received a nod in reply. “How long’s that been going on?”

“Oh err, funny story.” My fellow teacher blushed brightly. “The Crusaders slipped me and Mac a love potion last Hearts and Hooves Day. It made us kinda goofy for a while but after it wore off, well, I realised I sort of liked the guy. He’s such a good listener.” That I didn’t doubt. From what my son told me, the hulking red pony hardly said a word.

“So where you off to then?” I prodded.

“Oh, just to that little bistro place down Stirrup Street. Actually this’ll be the first date I’ve been on in a long time.” Her ears flattened against her head, a clear sign she was nervous.

“Don’t be so nervous, Cheerilee,” I said. “He’s probably even more nervous than you are.” Cheerilee still didn’t look convinced. “Look, when I met Roger, he was the single shyest thing you’ve ever laid eyes on. We were both really skittish when we were on our first date together. But I got him talking and we quickly found out we had so much in common. You just have to feel at ease, that will make him relax too.” There was a brief pause.

Finally, Cheerilee seemed to resolve whatever conflict had been going on in her head. She stood up straighter and looked more confident in herself.

“Wish me luck,” she said smiling. And with that she trotted out, leaving me alone with the tiara wearing hell spawn. I hoped she wouldn’t take too long. Pinkie Pie had said she wanted everyone and everypony at the train station for when Rarity and my son got back.

Author's Note:

Proofread by Sidetrack.

I hope nopony sees these interludes as just filler. I write them to give alternate perspectives which line up with the general story. That and these school chapters give me an opportunity to mess with Diamond Tiara. Next time we return to the schoolhouse, it will be inspection time.

Also, you should take a look at 'If' by Rudyard Kipling. Here's the text:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Good advice for life I say. Tragically, Kipling's only son John was killed in the trenches in 1915.

Comments

[PoniesAndGames]

I missed this I MISS YOU STORY!!!!

[damnaion]

46# yay

[Baby Rhino]

I liked the chapter. I cant wait to see how it all plays out with Diamond Tiara

[Blade Star]

4473574 Thanks, comments like that motivate me to keep going.

[Blade Star]

4482500 Thank you for looking past the cliché opening. It does get better I assure you.

[Valchio]

4470514 Stop putting so many love symbols on your comments, you will make Blade Star nervous *snicker*

[shy sad jaded shard]

Love how the mother is handling that brat this has to be the second best approach I have read (none lethal at least)

[Chrome Masquerade]

“And what are you going as?” I asked the spoilt filly.

“Well, naturally, a princess. I have a tiara after all.” Unknowingly, she’d steered the conversation exactly where I wanted it to go.

“Do you mind if I have a look at that tiara? I can’t say I’ve seen such an expensive one before.” The filly handed me her gaudy headpiece.

A while ago, I’d been watching a detective show with my son. In one episode, the case had revolved around a stolen cache of diamonds. They were apparently returned by the thieves. But after testing they were found to be fakes. The simplest test was glass; a diamond will scratch glass like nothing else can. There was a small window in the sports shed.

“You know, if I remember correctly, diamonds are so tough that they can scratch glass without damaging themselves. Shall we try it?” I covertly winked at the Crusaders who readily agreed with Diamond Tiara.

We walked over to the shed’s window and carefully holding the tiara, I scraped one of the stones on the glass. It didn’t make a scratch, probably cubic zirconium. As soon as the group saw the lack of damage, Diamond Tiara’s jaw dropped, while the Crusaders began to snigger.

“Hmm,” I said, taking a long while to examine the no doubt cheap tiara. “Perhaps you should have this looked at.” The filly promptly tore it from my grasp and stalked off, Silver Spoon following close behind. I turned to the Crusaders. “Perhaps she should change her name to Cubic Zirconium Tiara, eh?” I was rewarded with a number of high fives.

Oh, that's satisfying! i love it when Diamond Troll gets hers

[SolangeEggbert]

4669729 though canons value of diamonds sort of spoils the joke.

[unknowncape7377]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

They should have us read things like this instead of Shakespeare in ELA class (English Language Arts) it actually gives advice on life and things more relevant to the modern times

[Blade Star]

8773494 English class single handedly made me dislike Shakespeare. Not because the plays sucked, but because we just analysed them, never read them. We spent the better part of six months on 'The Scottish Play' and barely got beyond the first act. It was the same with Romeo and Juliet. Still, it's always good to be able to quote a line or two.

As for Kipling, you should consider reading his novel 'Kim'; arguably the first ever spy story, followed a little while later by Buchan's 'The Thirty-Nine Steps'.

[Luckyfanisaac]

We’d just finished up a math lesson.

Her sudden interruption made me jump.

“He’s probably even more nervous than you are.”

[Robert Noxon]

A while ago, I’d been watching a detective show with my son. In one episode, the case had revolved around a stolen cache of diamonds. They were apparently returned by the thieves. But after testing they were found to be fakes. The simplest test was glass; a diamond will scratch glass like nothing else can. There was a small window in the sports shed.

Common folklore. Absolutely false. Glass is about 5.5 on the hardness scale. PLENTY of things are harder than that -including some zirconium. She lucked out.