Chapter 67 - London
With Luna having departed to continue her nightly work, I took control over the dream Applejack and I were sharing. We found ourselves, as I was accustomed to, in a white void of a landscape. The experience can be a little unsettling the first few times for some, but AJ didn’t seem to show any signs of unease. So, I began to form the dream around us, steadily bringing it into focus. Whilst Luna was not with us per se, she would stabilise the dream for us and make sure we both stayed lucid.
The white void steadily began to be replaced by a cityscape. As ever, to begin with, things were slightly out of focus and sounds were distorted. But after a few moments, we found ourselves standing on a busy street with loud voices and car horns filling the air. Equestrian cities aren’t much like this; sure, they are busier than small towns like Ponyville, but not even large cities like Manehatten compare to London or New York. There just aren’t any real assholes in any of them. For the most part, Equestrians are decent people.
I knew I was in the correct city; all the road signs were in English and everyone was driving on the correct side of the road. I wasn’t quite sure exactly where we were though, and twirled around for a moment to orientate myself. I quickly realised that we were a little ways off from where I had intended to start. We were on Tothill Street; just up the road was the A302 and Westminster Abbey. The two of us began to walk up the road.
“So ‘Jack, what do ya think of this so far?” I asked. Applejack turned to look at me, her ears twitching.
“It’s a mite loud don’t ya think, Bones. Hayseed, Ah’ve lived in Manehatten and it weren’t like this.” To be fair, it was around midday, so the traffic was busy. I thought for a moment. Of course the answer was simple. With a mere thought, the traffic vanished, replaced by fewer and far older looking cars. I had turned back the clock, by about fifty years, give or take.
“Better now?” I asked. AJ nodded in approval. It was probably a better idea anyway. There were now none of those ghastly modern buildings and Canary Wharf still docked ships. And don’t even get me started about The Shard. The weather had also changed, it was now fairly sunny outside and warm, just a little bit cooler than Ponyville was at the moment.
We eventually reached the main road and found crossing it to be fairly easy. Commuting is so much simpler when you can gallop at around thirty miles an hour. And so we came upon the dear abbey. I’d actually been here in reality once before, with my father. We’d gone there for a funeral and had a bit of time afterwards to look around.
Applejack and I entered through the West door, which put us along the main route of most of the church services and state events that took place here. Quite soon after entering, as worked our way through the Nave, we came upon one of the big differences between Equestria and Earth. Before us lay the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior, who represented all the British troops lost in the Great War. I explained it all to AJ, translating the inscription as I went. Perhaps there was still a bit of a patriot in me.
We then wound our way past the choir stands eventually working our way to the High Alter. The two of us stared at it in awe. It is a beautiful piece of artisan craft, considering when it was first built so long ago. The two of us sat down in the pews not too far from the pulpit, looking at everything, taking it all in; the artistry, the carvings, the beautiful stained glass windows, everything.
Of course, as this was a dream, the usual restrictions of such a place did not apply, the day would last as long as we wanted it to, I could make it so that no one else would come up this way and disturb us. Applejack and I even lit two small candles for her parents, something which she is usually very private about.
After spending about an hour in Westminster Abbey, we continued on with our little tour. We worked our way up to Parliament Square and Big Ben quickly came into view. I told Applejack about the infamous ‘Battle of the Bongs’ when the BBC and ITV began to fight over who had the rights to play the striking of Big Ben on the hourly news. Needless to say, that made AJ laugh, it’s still funny to me if I’m honest.
Applejack, despite being a more practical mare, was still quite interested in everything around her. I happily explained about the various buildings that we could see. Whilst she had the accent, she didn’t behave like most Americans did in London when they were playing tourist. We actually ended up waiting for the hour to strike so we could listen to it live.
After that, we doubled back on ourselves, heading away from the river towards St James’ Park. Turning left, we followed Horse Guards Road along the park. It was quite nice to mix a little bit of greenery with the otherwise urban setting of London. It was nothing like Sweet Apple Acres of course, and certainly, the trees had nothing in common with the Everfree Forest. It did however remind me of the old common near where I had used to live. About halfway between the junction where we had turned onto Horse Guards Road and the parade ground we headed into the park itself.
Since it was such a nice sunny day, the two of us found an unoccupied bench and sat ourselves down. For a moment, Applejack attempted to mimic the humans around us, sitting in a style similar to Lyra, but she quickly resettled herself. Applejack, like most inhabitants of Ponyville, rarely visits a major city. I hadn’t been to London for several years myself. As you might expect, we were glad for the relative peace of the parkland.
Since it was getting on for lunchtime, we could easily hear Big Ben striking every quarter hour, we decided to rest in the park for a while to have a bite to eat. Of course, being a dream, it was quite easy to create a few sandwiches, drinks and what not. I suppose this must be what it is like for Discord; you merely will something into existence, and it is there before you. The two of sat there on that bench contentedly chatting and people watching.
“So how are ya likin’ London so far, ‘Jack?” I asked contently, as I looked up at the clouds that dotted the light blue midday sky. “Certainly a big change from Ponyville ain’t it.” Applejack nodded.
“Sure is, Bones. Been a mighty long time since Ah got to play tourist. It sorta reminds me of Manehatten a bit, but it weren’t never like this.” She was having a similar reaction to me when I’d first come here. A busy city environment can be quite overwhelming for someone who rarely leaves their hometown. On the flipside though, I remember a friend back in high school who moved out to my way from Manchester, he couldn’t stand how quiet everything could be, or the fact that most people in town knew each other.
“Ya know, we’ve been livin’ together for the better part of a year, and that is the first time Ah’ve ever heard you bring that up,” I said, interest clear in my voice. It is a fact that Applejack, like all of us, had a few secrets and things she preferred not to talk about. So I considered it a good sign of our mutual trust.
“Well, Ah haven’t had much of a reason to. Ah know ya know a little bit ‘bout it anyway.” I shifted in my seat.
“Ya want to talk about it?” I asked, treading carefully. Applejack thought for a moment.
“Bones, have ya ever felt like ya didn’t belong somewhere?” she asked me. I grinned.
“Only for most of my years as a teenager,” I replied. That got a laugh out of her.
“Well, Ah just didn’t think farmin’ was right for me back then. Ma and Pa had passed a few years ago and Ah just wanted to start fresh. So, Ah picked someplace that was the exact opposite of Ponyville; and that was Manehattan. Trust me, Bones, ya could walk the streets of that place for years and never see the same pony twice. Plus, Ah sorta had this silly idea that Ah could join all them city slickers in their high society.” That last sentence was spoken with a strong sense of disgust. “Anyway, Ah went out there to live with my relatives.” I stepped in.
“Your Aunt and Uncle Orange, right?” She nodded.
“Right, Ah thought that kind of life was for me. Course, turned out it wasn’t, and not a day goes by that I don’t thank Celestia that I came to my senses and went back home. I just knew Ah didn’t belong there, Bones. The way some of those ponies acted with each other, well, Ah wasn’t gonna be like them. So, Ah left.”
“But why not just try someplace else? Why did ya go back home?” I asked curiously, though still treading carefully.
“Bones,” Applejack sighed softly. “When Ma and Pa passed, we were all broken up. Granny lost her son and her daughter-in-law, Big Macintosh and Ah lost our folks, and we had lil' Apple Bloom to care for. Ah was upset, Ah was scared and Ah sure as hay didn’t know what I was gonna do. Ah thought that a fresh start was what Ah needed, that Ah could just run away from my problems like some stupid little filly.” At this point, she stopped speaking, tears beginning to run down her eyes.
I quickly leaned over to her and embraced her in a hug. My left hoof ran over her back as I comforted her. The poor mare had pretty much just bared her soul to me.
“Shh, ‘Jack, it’s okay, it’s okay,” I said comfortingly. She continued to weep quietly. “Let me tell ya a little story I grew up with.
“Once, long ago, there were two sons. Their father divided all his wealth between the two. Now, the youngest one, left his home and squandered all his money until he was poor. He soon realised how foolish he had been, and set off back towards his home. He did not expect his father to have him back, and planned to beg him to let him become a labourer instead.
“But when he got back to the farm, the father ran out to meet him and threw his arms around him. The son believed that his father would be angry with him, but instead the father said ‘Let us have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was lost, and now he is found.’.
“Applejack, nopony thought you were silly for doin’ that, Ah know so. Ah know that everypony was just glad to have you back home again.” I smirked to myself, releasing her from the hug. “Sorry, Ah know that must sound a mite strange, considering Ah wasn’t there at the time. But Ah guarantee you, AJ, everypony was glad to just have you back.”
Applejack lifted her head out from where she had buried in it my chest to look up at me. The tears and stopped, and she carefully was dabbing at her eyes. And for the first time since she began to tell the story, she smiled. Mind you, this only lasted for a second as she quickly hugged me back and kissed me on the lips. As she pulled away, she said:
“Ah love you, Sugarcube.”
The two of us sat there cuddling each other for an hour or so, just enjoying the sunlight and the warmth and the peace. Personally, I never realised that I was so good at consoling ponies, and people, until then.
After about an hour or so, we set off to continue our little sightseeing tour of London. We quickly headed back the way we had came towards Horse Guards Road and followed that to the Mall.
The Mall of course, is quite famous, for nothing else but the many processions that have come along it. Coronations, weddings, trooping the colour. Plus, it is quite a sight empty, the whole road lined with Union flags. I demonstrated a bit of pub quiz knowledge to AJ by pointing out that it was only a jack when it flew from a jack staff on a warship. Then of course there were all the flags of the Commonwealth. You have to admit, it’s a clever way to keep an informal empire going by ‘staying friends’.
As we continued up the road, we got a pleasant treat. The Queen’s Life Guards were trotting along the road in the same direction. A part of the Household Cavalry, they were an impressive sight to behold, even in just their ceremonial role, I would not fancy picking a fight with them. I told AJ they were probably on their way to conduct the Changing of the Life Guard ceremony. As the squadron marched past in perfect order AJ spoke to me.
“Ya know, Bones, this is about the only time Ah’ve ever seen horses this close. Ya hear about them, but they’re not often seen in Equestria. Ah mean, last time was years ago, when we were going to the Grand Gallopin’ Gala with Twi.” The two of us shuddered at the shared memory of those particular ‘horses’.
“This country was pretty dependant on horses till we worked out how to make engines, ‘Jack. And Ah guarantee that to this day cavalry troops are still seen as the crème de la crème of the army.” Applejack’s face showed the confusion in her mind.
“Uh, what’s ‘cavalry’, Bones?” she asked perplexedly.
“Well, ya know it’s when…” I trailed off. “Oh right, sorry ‘Jack. Ah guess all Royal Guards are cavalry in a way. But since humans can’t move that fast, they’d ride horses like those so they could get around the battlefield faster.” She thought for a moment.
“So, Ah suppose, kind of like the pegasus guards they have in Canterlot; they move quick and get there first.” I nodded.
“Pretty much. Ah didn’t know you knew much about the Royal Guard, AJ,” I commented. Applejack chuckled.
“Hey, when ya have the little sister of their captain just down the way and a coltfriend who has a cutie mark in fightin’ magic, ya pick up a few things.” The two of us chuckled as we came upon the gates of Buckingham Palace. I guess the pleasant conversation made the walk up the Mall much shorter.
And so, we came upon the large, ornate gates of the palace, and of course, the two guards that were on station there. Directly in front of us was the large roundabout that separated the Mall from the gates to the palace. Directly in front of us, dominating the skyline was the memorial to Queen Victoria.
We steadily wove our way around, heading left; to our right was the way to Constitution Hill, whilst this way would eventually lead us to Birdcage Walk. Of course, we would be doing neither, going directly up to the palace. This was quite a famous locale, for nothing else but the media coverage. This place would fill up with people when important events took place. I vaguely remembered coming here with my parents and a very young Lizzie when Dianna passed. Oddly enough, that is one of my earliest memories, hearing that the poor girl had been killed. Still, this place had also been one of great happiness, the Royal Wedding not so long ago being one of them.
“Weirdly enough, AJ, our weddin’ happened ‘bout the same time as the one in Equestria, though, er, with decidedly less changelings to worry ‘bout.” Celestia knows they took a ton of safety precautions, just like they did at the Olympics. Still, I never could quite believe that William copied Shrining Armor’s uniform. Eh, constants and variables as they say.
Eventually, we completed our little half circuit and came up to the gates of the palace. Looking up, I saw the Royal Standard on the rooftop, fluttering in the breeze. Plus there were four guards on watch instead of the usual two. Evidently, the old girl was in.
“Hey, AJ, take a look at that.” Applejack followed my extended hoof. “See that flag? That means that the Queen’s in residence. Ah’d like to bet they’ll be changing the guard soon too.”
And speak of the devil, they were. Just as were getting close to the palace, I spotted the St James’ detachment coming up the road to join their counterparts at Buckingham Palace. The two groups came to a halt in front of the palace and patiently awaited the arrival of their relief, in the form of the new guard. They soon came into view having marched from Wellington Barracks. The old guard were quickly joined by the band, which was playing a few old patriotic pieces.
At length, having undergone their own inspection, the new guard arrived and turned to face the old. As the two closed with each other they both presented their arms, marking the official handover. Salutes with swords were exchanged and the various sentries were posted and the old ones joined their comrades in the old guard. Finally, the two colours exchanged salutes. All parties were then called to attention and the old guard marched away, as did the new guard’s St James’ detachment.
The two of us, like everyone else that had been watching the spectacle, had done so in near complete silence. However, with the official handover complete, we were free to talk again.
“Shoot, Bones,” AJ said. “And here was me thinkin’ them ponies in Canterlot were mighty impressive. And all that just to swap places.” She shook her head in amazement.
It then, much to my horror, dawned on me that I had been acting more like a tour guide than a date. I had picked London because it was such a different place to our norm and there was so much to do and see. I hadn’t intended to turn it into a school trip. After mustering up the courage, I asked AJ.
“Applejack, Ah haven’t been boring ya have Ah? Ah mean, Ah know this is interestin’ and stuff, but were s’posed to be on a date ain’t we?”
“Well, ya seemed to be enjoying yourself, so Ah didn’t want to rain on your parade,” she replied, smiling innocently. I facehoofed hard at that.
“Applejack! Ya should’ve said somethin’!” I exclaimed. “Ah set this whole thing up for you to have a nice time, not just follow me around.” I now felt decidedly stupid, curse my lack of dating experience.
“Now, now, Sugarcube,” she chided gently. “It ain’t nothin’. Ah was enjoyin’ myself just fine. And ya should know ya don’t need to go and be all mushy with me; Ah ain’t Rarity,”
At this point I was saved by Applejack’s rumbling stomach. The cowpony turned an adorable shade of red and pulled her hat down a little. She chuckled a little to cover up her embarrassment.
“Well, on that note, how ‘bout we go get some supper in us and settle up for the evening?” In response, AJ softly cuffed me round the head and the two of us headed off to have dinner together.
And so, I attempted to rekindle my skills in the lost art of hailing a cab, something that is easily forgotten if you’ve been living in the sticks for a fair portion of your life. Eventually though, a typical London black cab pulled over and we got in.
One of the most difficult parts of the date to think up was where to take Applejack for dinner. The first problem of course, was that most of the eateries in London were, naturally, of the high class variety, the sort of place I had taken Rarity to in Canterlot. Needless to say, that was not the best place to take a mare such as Applejack. I remember when I told her about it, she commented on how small the available portions were and the two of us had a good laugh.
I couldn’t take her to some lower class place either, as most of those tended to be pubs that been converted to serve food. As much as they were good places, I couldn’t take my date there.
It was then though, that I thought of a type of establishment, of which there was no counterpart in Equestria. The nation had analogues of several American and British cities, and a fair bit of western culture. There were also smatterings of Arabic culture, as well as French and German, the latter found usually amongst griffons. But to my knowledge, there was no counterpart for India. Consequently, nopony in Equestria had ever had a decent curry. And so, I instructed the cabbie to take us to an Indian restaurant about ten minutes away.
Indian restaurants, for those who are unfamiliar with them, are usually quite nice places, like an upper class restaurant, but with more and better food. I hadn’t been to a place like this in months, so I hoped it would be a pleasant experience for both of us. After paying the cabbie, we quickly made our way inside and got ourselves a table.
“So, what kind of vittles’ do they serve at this place, Bones?” Applejack asked me as she settled herself down.
“Well,” I paused to think for a moment. “Most of the stuff here uses spices in the dishes. There are plenty of vegetable dishes, don’t worry. But I usually start with popadoms. They’re, kind of like chips Ah s’pose and they come with a couple dips.” These were brought over to us a moment later, and the waiter took our orders.
“What do ya reckon Ah should get, Bones?” AJ asked. To be fair, I found the menu quite baffling the first time. Luckily, as is often the case, the waiter offered a couple suggestions.
“If you don’t want a dish with meat in it, I’d recommend the vegetable rogan josh,” he said helpfully. I agreed, so she settled for that.
“And Ah think Ah’ll have the chicken korma.” That was my favourite dish anyway and it was a dream, so I wasn’t as fearful of how my digestive system might react. “Could we have a pilau rice to share and a couple plain naans.”
“Certainly, sir,” the waiter replied. He then returned to the kitchen.
About twenty minutes later, the waiter returned with our meals. I must confess the look on AJ’s face was priceless. Indian food is quite…colourful and my little sister did on one occasion refer to a korma as ‘cat sick’. After the waiter left, AJ looked to me
“What in the name of all things oats and apples is this, Bones?” she asked, looking at her rogan josh, alarmed.
“Don’t worry, ‘Jack, trust me the stuff tastes real good. Just…don’t try to work out what it is,” I grinned at her like a complete troll, but she picked up on my joke.
Over the next half hour the two of us happily chatted together over the dinner. We actually had a lot of fun, particularly when I tried to teach AJ how to use the naan as cutlery, which is actually what it is meant for. At length though, the two of us finished our meals and sat back. Indian cuisine is quite heavy on the stomach.
“Whoo-ee, that was some mighty good eatin’ there, Bones,” Applejack said contentedly.
“Told ya that it was good, didn’t Ah,” I replied. “Anyway, ya fancy turnin’ in for the night?” she nodded sleepily, another effect of the food.
I paid the check myself of course, indulging in the use of paper money, which for some reason has not yet reached Equestria. We then caught another cab to a nice little hotel. We wouldn’t be there long, as we were already dreaming, there was little point to falling asleep. Instead, the two of us simply lay down on the bed and closed our eyes.
A moment later, of course, it was morning and we were well rested and ready to get going. After a quick breakfast in the hotel, the two of us prepared for the cross country part of the date. Next stop was Kingsclere.
Proofread by Sidetrack.
I am sorry to announce that on Tuesday, I was informed that user Grammar Nazi had passed away. He was kind enough to help get this silly little fic off the ground, putting ever helpful corrections into the comments and convincing me to get myself a proofreader. He shall be missed. 
Now, as for next week's chapter, some knowledge of the novel Watership Down shall be required. So hit up he Wikipedia article on it. Unless you're a student, in that case read an obscure book from 1992 that is more academically reliable. 
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Or you could just read Watership Down.
It's an awesome book.
Why did you have to go?! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Grammar Nazi died? Damn...
Grammar Nazi shell be missed greatly but now he is in Equestria and happily running with all the pony's.
I will say I am new err to this story and I am finding it a vary good read.
I can't what to see ware this date will end up as it is starting so good.
and as for lizzy I am betting she will be the next going on a date.
do keep up the good work.
your student
harts fire
Im glad to finally catch up with this nice slow log fire glow of a slice of life, and so sad to have to face yet another granite wall that reality continously throws at us.
Things I remember about Watership Down. It contains rabbits. It overlooks, to the right, Greenham Common. Straight ahead, Newbury bypass, and the newts, to the left, Chobham. Far to the left, on the othe side of the valley, The True White Horse. Id offer more pointers, but I cant remember if I have the OS map of the area, or just looked at the map in the library some months back.
For data storage, I wish people would cross Microfiche with hollywood reels, or better still, use surface patterend metalised strip of fil reel size. Example, you could get maybe a million fold increase in filmstock just with microfiche, and up to a milion times that with patterning.
If Luna can scan the music out of Blazes head, through the gramaphone, could she improve it to the cinema and full memories, dream recording?
If I have my calculations right, you can use Stonehenge as a model for a quantum computer. You just need to think chanting, and pitch, as in vocal registers, and positioning.
Id put forward an idea about time manipulation, but you can discard it, as so far I beleive after all this time noones ponted it out. When the Doctor reaches the Tardis in 20 years time, he can come back to the present time, trading places with his younger self, as long as he remembers to come back for himself in 20 years time, as his older self goes off and his youngerself goes back. Means he lives the same 20 years twice, without creating a closed time loop?
Sorry, bit too much Vanderdeckens Children there.
when I first saw London in the chapter list, I thought theyd sorted the rift out, stabilised through techmage beacons of sorts at both ends. Intresting way of changing expectations.
The smallest method I saw described to poke holes in reality was a Daedalus, New Scientist description many years ago. a Plank Mass neutronium plasma wave accelerator. Fun for all the geeks. I suspect AB would much prefer it to AJ.
Anyway, here to watch people be happy and have a quiet life. Thank you.
5563355 Shh, that's secretly my headcanon too. But don't tell anypony.
Also, I'm preparing to again revise chapter 1-5 to improve Blade Star's character a bit. So watch this space.
* UNSC marines and Astra Militarum troopers fire seven gun salute while the rest of the Combined Force look on in silence *
I may have not known him on FimFiction, but I've seen his posts, Godspeed Grammar Nazi, may Faust welcome you...
Ah, the parable of the prodigal son. There's more to the story, of course. The second son was angry that their father had accepted the other son back, and refused to join in the party. It was a bit of a sad ending, but it had a good lesson.
Wouldn’t it be son and daughter in-law?
Edit 6/8/2019: