Interlude 1 - Dad in Day Court
Note: Just a reminder - this interlude takes place from the perspective of the protagonist's father.
Following Celestia out of the breakfast room, we both set off toward her ‘Day Court’. From what I could understand from my son’s inane ramblings, she acted as a sort of Court of Appeal open to all. In that sense, the whole judicial system of this dimension, universe, or wherever the hell we were in, was quite archaic.
Where I’d grown up had gotten pretty rough and tumble lately. More business of course, but it’s sad to see your childhood home take a nosedive. Here, at least based on what I’d seen so far, crime was all but non-existent. While the odd crime would be brought up, she was effectively a legislator in her own right. There was nothing similar to the Commons here, just these two ‘princesses’. I suppose this made our new home an absolutist monarchy. Actually, given that there were two of them, I suppose the correct word would be diarchy.
While this was a fair bit to wrap my head around, it was blown completely out of the water by magic. I’d told both the kids stories about magic over the years, but to see it actually be used, and not be just a clever parlour trick was astounding. It’s even weirder to have your own son use it on you while you’re having an argument. While I knew no one here had any untoward intentions, I couldn’t help but be slightly fearful of these magical creatures. From the stories my son had told me, there were villains here, and they were far more dangerous than many of the ‘villains’ I had met.
Hell, the worst case I’d seen was a mick horse slaughterer who’d got in a fight with his brother and took his head off with a meat cleaver. That was messed up and sick of course, but to know that there were shape shifting creatures that could suck the love out of you, chicken headed monsters that’d turn you to stone and wolves made out of wood. It filled me with a sense of fear. Yet my own son was skipping about like he’d found Narnia.
We neared a large ornate door bearing the symbol of the sun. Celestia paused and turned to address me briefly. She was one of the few creatures I felt safe around. While I knew she was one of the most powerful creatures here, I felt no reason to fear her. Above all else it was nice to be able to look someone in the eye.
“Right, Roger,” she said. “Beyond this door is the throne room you were brought to yesterday. I’ll take my place on the throne, and you shall sit next to me, the guards know what to do. Feel free to ask me questions between cases but please follow a couple of rules.” I nodded. She assumed a more regal posture.
“First, do not interrupt me during court, and if you do speak, address me as ‘your highness’ or 'Princess'.” I nodded. “Second, obey all the instructions of my guards. And finally, regardless of how things would be done on your world, this is Equestria, so do your best to accept any discrepancies. I know you were most confused by our lack of a council.” She smiled again. “I hope you will find this a rewarding experience.”
“Thank you, your highness,” I replied. “I shall do my best to follow your rules and not get in your way too much.” Inside, I was a little annoyed. I didn’t like having ground rules set for me like some six year old. But to be fair, she was a princess and she did not know how I might have reacted, so I silently forgave her.
I found myself, as we stepped through the doors, back in the throne room we had all found ourselves in yesterday. The room was very much like the Hall of Mirrors in Versailles, consisting of a single long corridor leading to the dais and the throne. Hanging from the rafters were huge banners. It sort of reminded me of the Great Hall from the Harry Potter films, God knows I had to sit through them enough times.
A trumpet blared as we entered and the various guards snapped to attention. An impressive show of discipline if nothing else. The Princess, for that was who she now was, took her seat on the throne, a high backed chair, lacking the legs of a human seat. She bid the guards to be at ease.
One of them brought a similar, smaller high backed chair for me, though this one was modified to account for my bipedal stature. Following old protocol, I remained standing until Celestia had taken her seat.
“Let Day Court commence!” The Princess proclaimed. And with that, the guards opened the two vast doors that previously barred entrance to the throne room.
What I saw took my breath away. There had to be at least two hundred of these equines waiting outside. And I thought a day with a dozen cases was busy! The Princess leaned over to me and explained that each ‘petitioner’, I noted the terminology, would be brought before her individually, be permitted to speak their piece before she, after consulting with her advisors, would pass judgement.
The first of these ‘petitioners’ was a regular pony, without horn or wings. An ‘earth pony’ if I remember the lecture I got from my son. He wore a style of clothing, as did most of the other petitioners that simply said ‘Look at me, I’m rich!’ I suppose in a non-democratic society it was natural for a rich, land owning class to still exist, and for them to get priority in speaking to the nation’s rulers through court intrigue. Celestia again leaned over to me.
“This is Filthy Rich,” she said, it took a great deal of effort to not burst out laughing. “He’s actually from Ponyville, and runs a chain of stores there. He’s actually more tolerable than most.” I wondered what he would want from the Princess.
Reaching the steps of the throne, he bowed to the Princess and greeted her. He sounded a little like that earth pony my son had been lodging with, Applejack I think it was. His case revolved around business, namely, his desire to expand his ‘Barnyard Bargains’ store into Canterlot.
“Princess, while my stores are renowned across Equestria, I think it is a crying shame to not have one here in Canterlot. It will improve the supply of Zap Apple Jam from the Ponyville region no end. I already have a contract with the producers. I just need your consent to build the store in the city, and possibly set up a private outlet in the castle,” he said. I feared this was only part of his presentation.
I was right, about three minutes in he’d brought out flip charts and pie graphs. I thought presentations at the Law Society could be tedious; this was a whole new level. Even the guards were struggling to stay awake. Only the Princess remained unaffected.
After he had gone over profit margins, the effect on his operations elsewhere, the cost of building a new store and innumerable other things, he at last, to my great relief, shut his trap. At first his Kentucky accent had been pleasant to listen to, but after over an hour I was sick of it. The Princess cleared her throat to offer her judgement.
“Mr. Rich,” she began. “You have clearly put a great deal of thought and time into this project. And your proposal would benefit Canterlot as a whole, particularly some of the poorer areas of the city. However, Barnyard Bargains is a rural store is it not?”
“Erm, well yes, your highness, it is. But I would like to show I am more than able to keep up with city life,” he offered.
“And what of your family? How will they cope with a father constantly moving around the country? You travel around a great deal already. I would be inclined, were I in your shoes, to be more concerned for the welfare of my family, than for any business.”
This seemed to flip a switch in his mind. In an instant, the whole aura of professionalism and savviness vanished. As if he was remembering something. He then quickly bowed, thanked the Princess, and took his leave.
“What was all that about, Princess?” I asked.
“He has a little filly to take care of. He’s been throwing himself into his work for some time. That’s the third time he’s come here this month. I just gave him a nudge in the right direction.” She smiled as the Earth pony hailed a cab at the castle gates. She then called on the guard to bring in the next case.
The next case was a little strange to say the least. While the first had lasted for just over an hour, this one, by my watch, took no more than a minute.
Another earth pony entered. This one was bright pink and happily bounced up to the throne. It took a moment, but I recognised her as one of the ponies that we had met in the forest when we first arrived. And in spite of her happy personality, this one was truly disturbing. The only advice I had been given by anyone on this world was to accept whatever happened when she was around, and to not question it.
As a result, neither of us spoke up when she bounded up to us and leapt behind the throne. A loud clattering sound came from there, as if there was a huge storage area or a cupboard.
“Oh, I know I left it here last time,” she muttered. “Let’s see, eye patches, mirrors, tangerines, Twilight’s cane, beach ball. Ah ha, there’s my party canon!” She returned carrying a small pink canon. “Thanks, Princess.” And with that, she headed out.
“I’ve learnt with Pinkie, it best to just let her be,” said the confused princess. Nevertheless, court was held up for ten minutes while a contingent of guards looked behind the throne for wherever Pinkie had hidden all that stuff.
When at last things calmed down once again, we were able to let the next petitioner in. After about two dozen different issues were sorted out and settled by the Princess, she called the customary lunchtime recess. I was certainly thankful for a break. I was running on near empty and I’d taken down so much in notes my hand was starting to cramp.
I was expecting more of the same after the recess ended and we returned to the court. However, our next petitioner was not what you’d call normal. I’m not sure if he was even sane. It all began when a loud, angered voice rang through the halls of the castle.
“Discord!” the voice called. It sounded somewhat like my son.
At that moment, a light appeared in the centre of the throne room. This prompted the guards to take a protective stance, four of them moved around the Princess. I on the other hand was left to fend for myself, but then again, I was not ruler of this land.
The light finally dissipated to reveal the strangest, maddest and most frightening creature I have yet to see in this country called Equestria. The thing was serpentine in appearance with a long slender body and was slightly taller than me. It was a mismatch of various animals. I could see parts from a goat, equines, reptiles and others I could not hope to identify. But the worse thing about it was its eyes. They were a sickening yellow, with bright red pupils; they weren’t even the same size as each other. It was as if one was in light and the other in dark, reacting differently.
This being was howling with laughter, as if its’ arrival marked the single funniest thing in the universe. I looked to the Princess for guidance. The look on her face spoke volumes. Whatever this thing was she disliked it, with a passion. She continued to stare at it as its’ laughter finally died down.
“What have you done now, Discord?” she asked. For the first time, I heard the beginnings of anger in her voice. The creature replied in a voice that was oddly familiar.
“Oh nothing much, Tia. Just causing a little bit of chaos. That and I had to meet the newest addition to your little realm.” He paused and looked at me. I won’t lie, I was frightened. He sidled up to me and leaned around my shoulders. “Well, well, there is more than one after all. Honestly Celestia, you should have told me we had such interesting guests.” The Princess shot him a look.
“Leave him alone, Discord. He is my guest here and you are clearly frightening him.” That bruised my ego a bit. “Roger’s kind has never encountered us before, never mind a draconequus like you.” So that’s what this ‘Discord’ was.
“Oh don’t be so scared, I’m harmless really. Besides, the other one didn’t seem to mind me. We were having quite the chat.” That explained the previous cry.
“You will leave them all alone, Discord. They are going back to Ponyville tomorrow where you will be unable to bother them.” Discord immediately started.
“There are more of them.” He hugged the Princess, drawing a scowl from her. “Oh dear Tia, why didn’t you say so before?” And with that he snapped what appeared to be talons and vanished.
“What was that?” I asked as my fear subsided.
“That was Discord; he’s the spirit of chaos and disharmony. Until recently he was my sworn enemy. Now though we are working on reforming him, though I must confess, with mixed results. I’m sorry that frightened you, but he actually isn’t dangerous, just chaotic.”
I was calmer now, and began to reorganise my notes, while the guards returned to their former positions along the wall. Petitioners were once again brought in, but I couldn’t help but occasionally cast glances at the stained glass windows that showed the story of Discord. I’d have to ask the boy for a little bit of background on him. Hopefully, he wouldn’t make it into yet another lecture.
At five o’clock the last petitioner was heard, a simple theft case, and one of only two criminal cases in the entire day, the other also being a misdemeanour. I’d learnt a fair bit since I’d got here, several times in between petitioners the Princess asked me how a particular incident would have been handled back on Earth. She seemed to serve a variety of roles, from magistrate to planning officer and a hundred roles in between, as well as a ruler. It amazed me that she could do so much for so little reward. I’d certainly have a fair bit to talk about this evening.
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cool
3935816
OH! So thats where it went!
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131202033232/gyropedia/images/e/e1/Bringmeyourvirgins.jpg
The father is a lawyer.
For him to not understand and indeed be worried about protocol in the highest court in the land, seems quite ridiculous. 'Six year old'
The son, sure.
4678508 I'd say he understands the basics of Day Court, but was curious to study it on a deeper level. And to be fair, when you consider all the roles Celestia fills in Day Court not all of it may be known to a lawyer that specialises in criminal law. In fact, I'd argue that his speciality puts him at a disadvantage given the small amount of crime in Equestria.
3690766 why so many HEARTS?????????????
i have skipped part´s of this chapter, somehow i don´t like interludes, i think it is the same thing as if they would show the past in an anime.
A princess using her power to manipulate one of her subjects about how he cares for his family sounds all lovely and maternal--- till you think about it. It is, in actuality, the worst sort of micromanaging meddling. Her manipulation of Filthy Rich was reprehensible and morally irresponsible as well. Because she decided to be a fussy mother hen about how Filthy Rich was tending his family (which is none of the government's damn business) and manipulate the law to that end, she has blocked growth of business, cost Canterlot hundreds of jobs and lost out on future tax revenue. She has in brief hurt hundreds if not thousands of ponies just so she could coddle and fuss over one.
The system you've presented here for Equestrian government is-- unworkable. Completely. No feudal system can produce or sustain the progress necessary for the typical standard of living we see common in the show; no ruler, no matter how benevolent or tireless, can efficiently managed the private affairs of her citizens better than they can manage themselves. Even the most foolish totalitarian ruler delegates vast swathes of his authority to others, and Celestia is supposed to be both benevolent and wise. You wouldn't have Equestria; you'd have an oppressive, smothering, poverty stricken nursery school.
To be fair, Narnia did have a wicked witch who put it under eternal winter at one point. And that was just one book.
5427026
A year late, but you make a really solid point. Equestria would look like Griffin Stone, the poor fighting for scraps. But hey, at least they have their family right?
To Reality Check, I would point out that here in the USA we have Child Protection Service & plenty of other ways that the government interferes with families.
RC does make a good point about the Princesses probably wouldn't micromanage in one family. On the other hand, his daughter bullies the sisters of 2 of the Elements of Harmony. So, at least arguably Celestia might be more interested in Rich's family than in most of her other subjects.
5427026 And it's also a country of mythical magic talking ponies ruled by two goddesses. Your argument is invalid. Shut up.
7505716
Exactly
THANK GOD NO SNOBES WERE MENTIONED!!!
Yeah, he's definetly going to hunt diwn another human just to fuck with them regardless of what anyone says. Have some damn tact, Discord.
9205186
Discord? having tact? that'd be out of character unless he had Fluttershy next to him
9340328
That's hilarious.
Not even Flutterbutt could get him to have tact.
I'm just gonna assume that the fact that Roger is standing next to Celestia is enough to dissuade any petitioners' fear of him.
I thought Roger was a bit of a Trekkie? That's why he was initially against teleporting, right? Did he simply watch a different iteration of Star Trek, or was he too scared to recognize the voice?
Even in Narnia, they had giants that would eat you and a witch that made it always winter and never Christmas for 100 years.