Hi, all you foals and fillies out there! It’s me, your friendly neighborhood Pinkie Pie, finally starring in her very own story! Woo-hoo!
BANG!
Oops, you can’t see it, but I just set off my party cannon. I’ll try to give you some pictures from now on. Here’s the party cannon again!
This is so exciting! Wow, even Gummy is excited - look!
He’s so cute!
Anyway, I am a little surprised that it took this long. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I am so happy to be here! I just don’t know how you can post 29 whole stories about my friends and other creatures in Equestria or their human counterparts and not make me a tag-level character in at least one of them. Yes, I’m talking to you, Strawberry Sunrise.
And before you say anything, group tags don't count!
...
I mean, you even posted multiple stories featuring Applejack. Like this one:
And this one:
And this one:
And this one:
And even one featuring her as a human!
Applejack is such a great friend; I love her so much! But I thought you hated her?
Well, okay, a couple of those stories might be kind of making fun of her, and she's not really the main character in a couple of them, but still…
Oh, pineapple under the upside-down cake. Don’t worry about it. At least I showed up in your stories occasionally and I'm getting this story now. Poor Fluttershy still needs a tag-level feature in a story; only her human counterpart has one!
But anyway, I’m here today to teach you all how to count. I’m not quite sure why that’s the focus of my story...it seems more like a job for Miss Cheerilee...but I guess that’s just how it is. You take what you can get.
So...where should I start? Hmm...ooh, I know! Let’s go to the mirror pool.
Right now there’s one of me, see? One...of...me.
That’s the first number. The number one. Can you say "one"? I’ll give you a second.
…
Did you say it? Hooray!
If you didn’t, well, try to pay a little more attention. You’ve got to learn this stuff! If you try your best, maybe you could even be as smart as Twilight someday!
Actually, that might be her human counterpart in pony form, but you get what I mean.
...
Anyway, here goes. I’m going to jump in the mirror pool!
SPLASH!
Look, now there’s another me! I think she’s pretty cute if I do say so myself.
I’ll give her a spare party cannon so she can help us celebrate when you get something right.
Wait...not yet!
Don't get so down, me! You can do it soon!
So how many mes are there now?
One...two. There are two of me! Well, one’s the me that’s me and one’s the me that’s, um...her, but we’re both me...see? You get it.
Let’s count one more time. One...two.
Okay, now we’re ready for your first real test. It’s not just one number this time; it’s, well...two numbers! Can you count to two? Go ahead and say it. I’ll give you a second…
…
…
Did you do it? Did you say, “One...two?” If you did, then congratulations! Great job! If you didn’t, well...it’s okay. You’ll get it soon.
Okay, me! We can do it now.
Yay! Alright, next up is three. Here goes!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
Okay, let’s cou-
Uh oh.
Um...well, that’s actually four mes. We, um, we weren’t ready for that yet. We were on three. I guess now we’re learning how to...um, double stuff instead? Is that okay?
I'll take that as a yes! Okay, then, um, one doubled is two. We already did that. And then two doubled is four!
Can you say f-
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
And...they’re out of control. You’re not seeing all the splashes, but there are about twenty of them now. Whoops. And that's even without including the me me in that group!
Maybe the mirror pool wasn’t such a great idea after all.
Okay, we can...we can still fix this! Don’t worry. We’ll just skip ahead. That’s something we can do in a story, right?
Three hours later…
Okay, so Twilight got them rounded up now. There are about fifty, and they’re all watching paint dry again.
There would have been more, but I was able to lead them all away from the mirror pool just like I did with the parasprites!
Whatever happened to those parasprites, anyway? Hmm...
Anyway...I guess we’ll just learn subtraction or something instead.
So here we go. Twilight just cast the first spell. Fifty minus one is...forty-nine.
And she cast another one already! I guess there won’t be time for you to repeat after me, so you’ll just have to pay extra close attention. You can do that right? I know you can do it! Okay. Forty-nine minus one is forty-eight.
And again! Forty-eight minus one is...
Actually, you know what? I think Strawberry is the one who stopped paying attention. She didn’t pop in again when too many clones started jumping in the pool and we switched to subtraction. And this is...well...it’s kind of boring, don’t you think? I mean, math is important, but you don’t really want to read something that’s just me counting down from fifty, do you? Not to mention all that scrolling you're probably having to do! You’ll need to learn it sometime, but for now...do you want to do something else? Let’s do something else! Twilight can handle all the mes. See you later, Twilight!
Ooh, I know! If Strawberry isn’t paying attention anymore, let’s play a prank on her! Let’s find one of her other stories...this one?
Or maybe this one?
Oh, of course! it’s got to be this one! This one is her most popular story, so it should be the best one to use for a prank!
It's an Applejack story, so it might look familiar if you've been paying attention. But this story is just so mean to Applejack and even meaner to Twilight. It makes Applejack hurt Twilight! That’s terrible! Oops, sorry, I’ll cover that spoiler up. There, you don't have to see it if you don't want to. If you haven't read the story - and if you're a foal or a filly, you probably shouldn't yet! - you just need to know that something bad happens in it! It's marked as "Dark" and "Horror," so I don't think that gives too much away, does it?
Now let’s fix it and make it happier - Strawberry will be so surprised!
(Sorry in advance that there won't be any pictures in this part, but Strawberry's story didn't have any pictures...)
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Applejack was digging a hole. She wasn’t quite sure why she was digging the hole. It just felt like something she should do.
Hmm...well, that isn’t too bad yet! But you know, why wait? The early cook gets to lick the spoon, after all! Let’s change it now! If we change it now, then none of that icky bad stuff can happen later.
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Applejack was digging a hole.
And then Pinkie Pie showed up and she said, “What are you doing?”
And then Applejack said, “I’m digging a hole!”
But she meant to say it that time, because it was just what she was doing.
And then Pinkie Pie said, “No, you can’t dig a hole right now! I’m throwing a party and you’re invited! It’s a best friends party for all my best friends!”
And then Applejack said, “Wow, what am I doing? I don’t even know why I’m digging this hole, anyway. Let’s go to that party!”
And then Applejack put the shovel down, because things hadn't gotten too bad yet, and then Pinkie Pie knocked it into the hole with her tail and she filled the hole in really quick and Applejack was kind of confused but she didn’t question it and then they all went to the party and they had fun and Twilight was super duper okay and everything went really well and everypony was super duper happy!
The End
Hhh...hhh...hhh...okay, let me catch my breath for a second. I said that last part pretty fast. You know, if you still want to learn something, you could check this story out. It’s pretty educational.
Or if that's not what you're in the mood for, you could try this one - it's pretty silly!
Or...wait a minute…
Strawberry Sunrise, are you still there?
You’re just using me to advertise your other stories now, aren’t you? That’s kind of sneaky, isn’t it?
Strawberry Sunrise?
Is that just because I had a teensy weensy mishap with the counting story? Or is it because I changed your hole story? Sorry for causing trouble, but you know, even before the mirror pool went wrong, it did seem kind of weird that foals and fillies would know how to read this story but not know how to count. I'm just saying...
Oh, but no offense to any foals or fillies out there, of course! I guess I shouldn’t assume things like that. If you really don’t know how to count, I'm sure you'll get another chance to learn sometime! I know you can do it! Woo-hoo!
So, um...anyway, I hope I still get to feature in another story sometime. And I hope Fluttershy gets one, too! Right, Strawberry?
I’ll take that as a...maybe?
Well, I suppose that just about wraps things up for now. Until my next story, or whenever I show up again, I guess this is goodbye. Tell the readers bye, Gummy!
And I hope you have an absolutely amazing, totally terrific, stupendously splendiferous new year!
Thanks for reading, everypony!
