Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
Surly ponies crowded around the caged sphere, their flanks to a pair of figures shuffling stealthily their way.
"You know what? Buck auctioneering! I'd say we should scrap this thing!"
"Like you know how to scrap anything, ya melon fudge."
"I do! I used to work on the steam stations up in Rail District!"
"Well, let's say you do. What then? We don't even know what's inside this damn thing!"
"It could blow up for all we care."
"Hah! I wouldn't mind! Collecting that kind of insurance would make me a king! Besides, this crummy place could use a face lift!"
"Come on, guys! Let's be serious! The only way we're ever gonna get any money out of this thing is if we take it to the next auction in pristine shape. So stop spitting on it already!"
"I'm telling you, if we take this apart, we can make so much awesome stuff with it."
"And just how do you know that?"
"Because! It was made by... you know... what's her name?!"
One stallion turned around. He blinked, his jaw dropping as he pointed. "Th-the Blue Jay!"
"Right, I know the Blue Jay made it, but how does that help us exactly—?!"
"NO! Guys! I mean it's—"
"Hrrnnngh!" Rainbow Dash flew forward with a gust of steam. She slammed her hoof across the stallion's yelping muzzle.
The others spun to face her. In a blink, five stallions whipped out bats, crowbars, and other bludgeons and started charging. "Ya two-bit sky pirate!"
"Yaaaaaaugh!"
Rainbow Dash anchored her feet tightly and swung her leather wings forward. FWOOSH!
In one fell swoop, the thugs were blown off their hooves and knocked through tables of scrap and other metal junk. Crassh!
Rainbow blinked, her wings still flung forward. "...whoah."
"Wow, did you do that or did you just dream-do that?" Donut Joe asked.
"What's it matter?!" Rainbow pointed at the collapsed thugs. "Finish them off!"
"Oh right..." The stallion cleared his throat and charged forward. "Aaaaaaaand—" He kicked the skulls of two thugs before they could get up. "—icing on the cake!" Another pair hopped up, squaring off from him. "Oh, you want three lumps with your coffee, huh?! Game on!"
Rainbow Dash, meanwhile, had rushed to the table and was in the process of shaking the cage ensnaring their chaperone friend.
"Come on... come onnnn..." She gnashed her teeth. "There's gotta be a way to open this darn thing!"
Tap Tap Tap!
Rainbow paused, blinking under her leather cap.
The steaming sphere was knocking the cage in the direction of the table beneath it.
Rainbow looked. There were several tools lying side by side. She carefully set the cage down and trotted to the side. She pointed at a screwdriver and looked at the sphere.
"NO."
Rainbow dragged her hoof over a wrench.
"NO."
Blinking, she then pointed at a large, goofy mallet.
"YES. YES. YES."
"Hrmmf..." Rainbow's nostrils flared. "Figures." She grabbed it, held her breath, and smashed the cage hard. "Grnnngh!" WHUDDD!
Just as Rainbow's ears stopped ringing from that impact, she heard a dull yelp from across the way.
"Uhhh... Rainbow... Jay...?"
"Huh?" Rainbow looked over.
Donut Joe sweated, being forced in a headlock by two thugs. "I kinda got stuck in some molasses here..."
SCHIIIING! One thug held a machete to his throat. "I'll cut him, ya stinkin' sky bitch! I'll do it! I'll—"
FWIIIIISH! From the cage's wreckage, the steaming sphere flew. It darted across the room with the grace of a dragonfly and ricocheted off the two thugs' skulls like coconuts. Another got up and ran over, swinging a knife. Twirling, Epcot smacked its chest then uppercutted him through a table. CRASH!
Donut Joe wheezed, stumbling by Rainbow's side as both figures gawked at the steampunk pixie.
FLASH! A brunette earth pony appeared, her sparkling mane done up in curls as she stood in a calico gown with a brass corset and ruffled bussel. "Holy Figment!" She fanned herself and smiled. "That sure was tighter than Mission Celestia! Heehee! Wowsers! I'm so glad to see you guys again! How about the taste of this dream, huh?" She grinned, eyes fluttering.
"Holey Moley," Donut Joe droned. "Epcot, you're hot!"
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Hmmm I wonder who's next. I imagine Stu, Mulia and Gustave can't be faring very well right now.
Keep it in your pants, joe!
Goddammit, Joe.
What was that about "dirt fever" earlier? Yeah, I thought so. Respect best pony, dammit.
5678258 pants?
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Sheath?
I'm debating whether to re-read the whole story as I have week with absolutely nothing to do and have to stay at home. But it's like, 500K+ words :s
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Do it, man! It'll only take you... Well, the whole week. I keep wanting to reread it, but then I just get depressed when I realise an additional 30 odd chapters haven't been released in that time. The same thing with the Austraeoh series... My eyes still hurt...
You know, this story really needs more views and more likes. The main reason I even made this account was because I just felt like I needed to add my like and view to the count. Keep up the good work, JE!
Epcot is best steampunk pixie!
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Agreed. As for Joe, all I can say is, hypocrite
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No no no, what he means is -- as Epcot has been remade to fit the standards of this steam-punk world -- her pony shape is steam powered. She is literally hot, thus why she is fanning herself.
I'm sure the author will expand upon this linguistical joke next chapter. This is possibly the beginning of a long running series of ambiguously phrased misunderstandings.
Being super serial right now.
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/mlpff/images/8/8d/7123_-_meme_pomf_rainbow_dash_wingboner_wing_boner.png/revision/latest?cb=20110814011716
Keep your hooves to yourself, Joe. The good ship Stucot sailed a while ago.
*blinks*
*shows self out*
Hehe, did doughnut Joe have frosting covering his face?
Sheesh, Joe, you're as bad as Daring Do.