Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
“What do you mean?!” Applejack gasped, her eyes instantly moistening with pity. “‘They wouldn’t accept you?’”
“I… I don’t get it either!” Rainbow Dash stammered, fighting the urge to hyperventilate. She hovered over a cliff’s edge before a Ponyville sunset, but she wasn’t there to enjoy the sights. “It just doesn’t make any sense!” She held a wrinkled letter in front of her, sealed with the insignia of the Wonderbolts. “I performed that triple-barreled thunder breaker perfectly at the audition!” She seethed through clattering teeth. “Nopony has ever pulled a trick like that off! Much less a rookie!” She tossed the sheet down and stared at the burning horizon with quivering eyes. “How… h-how could I not be awesome enough for the t-team…”
“Well…” Applejack stomped her hooves and frowned into the sky. “I think they’re just a bunch of blind idiots! I’ve a good mind to buck their teeth in! Who are they to reject the most daring, dashing pony in all of Equestria?”
“That… th-that’s not gonna solve anything, AJ,” Rainbow Dash said, her voice wilting along with her wings. She hovered lower at the cliff’s edge, staring down at the dark shadows that the craggy landscape was making below her limp, dangling hooves. “Don’t you see? It’s all over. I… I lost.” She hugged herself as a cold wind blew at her multicolored bangs. “I lost the most important thing in my life.” She gulped. “There’s no winning my way back up to the top now.”
“Rainbow Dash, sugarcube…” Applejack spoke in a tender voice as she trotted closer to the drooping pegasus. “Don’t talk like that, darlin’. You haven’t lost anything.”
“What are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash hid her face in two trembling hooves. “Of course I-I have.”
Applejack cocked her head to the side. “Awwww… are ya cryin’, sugarcube?”
“I am…” Rainbow sniffled. “I am not…” She sniffled again. With a quivering expression, she stared down at her own hooves. Fresh teardrops reflected her bewildered face. “What the h-hay is happening to me?”
“Rainbow Dash…”
“I’m stronger than this!” Rainbow seethed, the tears flowing freely now. “I’m too awesome to crack!”
“Ain’t no shame in it, Rainbow.”
“Of course there is, AJ! I’m a failure! I’m a total screw-up! ‘Rainbow Crash!’ That’s what they’re going to call me forever--”
“Shhhh… Darlin’, c’mere.”
“Huh?” Rainbow Dash gazed down, then gasped as she was pulled by her tail to the earth. She suddenly reclined--bug-eyed--in the warm embrace of an apple-scented farm filly. Gulping, she dryly rasped, “Applej-j-jack?”
“No more fussin’, sugarcube,” Applejack said, suddenly caressing the petite mare’s blue face with surprisingly silky hoof-strokes. “I think it’s about time you stopped chasin’ the impossible and just embraced what’s lyin’ all presentable-like before ya.”
“But… but…” Rainbow sniffled. “The Wonderbolts have been my dream for--like--forever! I’ve trained and perfected myself for so long and… and…” She writhed and grunted, her wings refusing to budge. “Why do I feel like a limp noodle all of the sudden?”
“That’s a darn good question, Rainbow.” Applejack winked as she lay the two of them in a bed of windblow flowers. “Reckon ya have the answer to that?”
“I… I don’t understand…”
“Shhhh…” Applejack caressed her bangs, then played with her fuzzy chin. “Why stress the understandin’ when ya can just stick to feelin’?” She giggled inwardly: a deliciously warm thing. “Forget the Wonderbolts. Come stay with me.”
“St-stay… with y-you?” Rainbow Dash squeaked.
“Mmmmhmmm.”
“But… but…” Rainbow’s cheeks were on fire. Every inhalation was like channeling hot coal into her lungs, and each one fragranced with Applejack’s milky-sweet breath. “I want to be an Equestria-famous flier! I don’t wanna live on a boring ol’ farm! Why, it’s… it’s…”
“‘Lame?’” Applejack stroked her hoof until it rested in the middle of Rainbow’s palpitating chest. “Then why’s yer heart beatin’ like the dickens, girl?”
Rainbow Dash shivered from head to tail. Her eyes were lost in Applejack’s emerald sparkles. “Because… because I… I…”
“Now now…” Applejack leaned in and nuzzled the pegasus’ cheek. Electricity sparked between them. Flower petals frolicked in the wind. “Since when was Rainbow Dash afraid of anything?”
Rainbow Dash blinked. Slowly, the most delicate smile imaginable crossed her muzzle. “I’ve wanted to tell you, Applejack. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long.” She whimpered inwardly. “The most awesome place in the world…”
“Yes?”
“It’s here,” Rainbow squeaked, leaning into Applejack’s weight and ecstatically nuzzling her fuzzy orange chest. She felt the mare’s heartbeat and it shook her insides into quivering jelly. “It’s all right here. I don’t wanna leave. I don’t care how stupid or lame that sounds. But I wanna stay here with you forever and--”
“Wait,” Applejack’s hat came to life, sprouting teeth as it spoke in a goofy voice. “Hold that thought, Rainbow Crash.”
Rainbow’s ruby eyes bugged. She looked up over Applejack’s frozen scalp. “What in the hay?!”
The hat took a deep, deep breath, then shrieked into the air, “Wrii! Wrii! Wrii! Wrii! Wrii!”
Rainbow Dash frowned so hard, her teeth nearly popped out of her jaws. “Oh, for the love of Celestia’s golden sparkly crap!” Snarling, the pegasus lunged at the hat…
...and fell clumsily onto her bedroom floor, tangled upside down in bright blue bedsheets.
“Ooof!” She blinked towards the ceiling, then thrashed her legs like an adoracute cockroach. “Nnnnnn-nnnngh! Guh!”
The alarm on the edge of her cloud bed continued blaring.
“Hrnnnnngh…” Rainbow Dash seethed, seethed, then took a deep breath. She rolled over, wriggled her way out of the bedsheets, and attempted to stand up…
...only to fall flat on her muzzle.
“Ooof!” She grunted, almost biting her own tongue. Hissing, she wobbled left and right, attempting to slide her legs out from under her. Swiftly, the pegasus’ frustration turned into a brief, pale panic. “Oh, come on. Not now… not this morning…”
As the alarm kept blaring, she closed her eyes and centered herself. A meditative breath or two later, and she locked her leg-joints--one at a time. At last, her legs stiffened, then lifted underneath her like a greased-up tripod. She clenched her teeth, her nostrils flaring with heavy breaths, and then at last she was standing straight up. It didn’t feel like much of an accomplishment; her knees wobbled, and she could feel her pulse throbbing at the edges of her shoulders.
She stood there for a long while, allowing the blood to flow through the rest of her body. It wasn’t until two full minutes had passed before she summoned the strength to trot forward across the room--in a gangly, stiff fashion. She reached the tabletop, slapping her muzzle over the alarm clock like an earth pony would. She didn’t dare lift her hooves. Not yet.
Silence fell across the room like the interior of a sunken glacier. Rainbow Dash twirled around, blinking blearily. She regarded her rumbled bed with a brief malaise. In between fluttering eyelids, the hazy image of a sun-lit field and a farm filly’s sparkling green eyes flashed before her. Rainbow Dash groaned inwardly.
“Friggin’ A…”
On thumping hooves, she twirled about and clopped her way towards a dresser on the far end of the unkempt room. Standing on the very edge sat a cylindrical orange container. Using her teeth, Rainbow clasped onto the lid of the thing and popped it loose with a rattling sound. She squinted through one ruby eye, staring at the contents within.
Three large, lonely pills came to a rolling stop at the bottom of the container. The glossy surfaces of the red-and-white tablets reflected Rainbow’s incredulous face.
“Ugh… for real?” She counted and counted and re-counted the measly three items. Her face hung in a dull scowl. She glanced over her shoulder at the sunlight breaking through the window… then sighed again.
Slumping back on her haunches, Rainbow struggled with two forelimbs until the container rested at the end of her muzzle. With a slight tremble, she tilted the container until one tablet teetered at the lid. Using her tongue, she lapped it into her mouth and snapped the container shot. Placing the cylinder back on the dresser, the pegasus limped over to a chunk of cloudy material sectioned off from the rest of the room. She spun and slapped her tail against a cushioned wall. The ceiling immediately above her rolled with a miniature pocket of thunder. The pegasus architecture darkened, grew dense, and rained a shower of liquid down onto Rainbow’s face.
She greeted it with a mouth stretched wide like an alligator’s. “Awwwwwwwwwwww--” She drowned the pill and swallowed it deeply down her throat. “Ulp.” Her tongue hang loosely from her limp lips. “Mehhhhh.”
With a serpentine shuffle, Rainbow Dash limped back towards the bed, stopping at the edge of the sea of tangled bed sheets.
She teetered left and right, still fraught with intense drowsiness. Grumbling, she rubbed her face, muzzle, and eyes. “Mmmm… fuzzy.” Her nose wriggled. She rubbed her face again. “Still fuzzy.”
A beat.
Rainbow Dash glanced over towards the closet door beyond her bed. Her eyes squinted.
Her Grand Galloping Gala dress hung off the door handle like a flamboyant dragon’s shedded skin. The skirt was frayed in multiple places, and the golden crown swiveled in the morning air from the window, bent and crooked.
Rainbow’s face scrunched in deep, deep thought. Her eyes darted back and forth.
“When… did I get back… from Canterlot?”
She tapped her chin in thought, but not long after that she found herself stroking her temple with a wincing expression. Rainbow Dash had become aware of a severe, slicing headache pistoning through her skull.
“Unnnngh…” She clenched her eyes shut and grimaced heavily. Then, with a gasping thought, she flew her eyelids open. “How did I get back?”
Her heart started beating a mile per second. Fidgeting, she spun towards the door to her living room and sprang forth in a brisk gallop.
She fell on her muzzle yet again.
“Owch! Grrrr--Darn it!”
Part One: Rainbow's Day After
(In Which We Follow a Nervous Pegasus Visiting Her Best Friends)
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Oooh. This *does* look interesting. Although those pills worry me... but hey, there's a mystery to solve, and Apples to Dash!
CARRY ON, SIR/MA'AM!
3577842 Aspirines?
Glad I finally started reading this! It's been on my radar for a bit now, and it's been quite entertaining so far. Your writing style seems really familiar for some reason, though...
Well, you had my curiosity... but now you have my attention.
...maybe I'm just a terrible person, but my motivation to read this went through the roof as soon as chronic illness came up. Huh. Weird.
Also, that dream sequence doesn't count as the required level of cuddling!
She's on pills?
I Wonder if its gonna be like house, with the pills and the limping
Hmmmmm...... pills.... PILLS HERE!
Pills?
Oh god no, this is Austraeoh isn't it?
officially the best. Simile. Ever.
I'm . . . I'm not quite sure even this story can truly handle how simply amazing this is.
I don't like what these pills could mean in the grand scheme. I do wonder what they're for, though.
Oh god, Dash can't catch a break no matter what universe she's in.
Oh pills... Goodie...
Stomach full of pills didn't work again... put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone.
Ah, Hollwood Undead's one good song...
Anyways, not sure how much you've improved since this chapter WAAAAAAAY back when. But, I want to point out a few things that could help your writing. Some positives and negatives.
Biggest issue. The dependency on adverbs is not a good thing. Adverbs are essential but they shouldn't be overused. You, happen to overuse them a lot. What an adverb does is it tells the reader not shows them. Your description and writing should be to the point where you can rely it and not have to spoonfeed your audience by telling them the tone and character emotions. Make them guess a bit, keep it interesting. I know you can, heck, look at your writing. It's very apparent you can now do it! Because your description is really vivid and easy to imagine at some points. Heck, quite a few points.
Next, make sure you define your setting... there was a place or two where setting was discombobulated. Specifically the switch from Rainbows Dreams to reality. You carried on the front half of the transition (so back in reality), and it made it choppy and uncertain of what you were describing. So I caution your description in transitioning and be sure you know where everything is going so you can project it.
Those were the only two big things... Besides that.
Excellent story! Really good characterization, fantastic writing and I enjoyed this. It earns a like and I'll keep reading :p
The abrupt end to the dream, as I see it, is a hard pill to swallow for RD. Unlike the pills that she easily took this morning to fix something physical, the more difficult trials will be intangible. Perhaps she will need to "swallow her pride" to heal if we wish to continue the theme presented.
This dream-of-cuddles business better not be the promised cuddly ending.
7615654 Lol, That would make this story awfully short.
Pegasus depression simulator, begin--- wait, is that world building?
"Gryffindor!"
Sorry, i laughed so hard just picturing this bit. Then the image of the Sorting Hat popped into my head.
#3/1000
Aw, this can't possibly be--- yeah.
XD
Also, pills? Huh.
This is a way to start up a story like this. This is going to be interesting.
Ok, at what point in MLP’s canon does this take place, cause she just came from the gala or something.
Was that hat dream all wrong, was she not accepted by the Wonderbolts? These questions will be answered most likely. Well could be not the timeline one, but possible, This was made in 2013, that’s like 3 possible seasons for this to take place in! I’m gonna love unraveling this.