This story is a sequel to The Strangers in Ponyville
Second Glance is a Crown Investigator: His job is to look into "matters of interest" for the Princesses. While the hunt for changelings continues, three years after their attack, and is very much a matter of interest, it is not the only matter of interest. Or, for Second Glance, not even a very important one.
At least, not compared to the hunt for the elusive and enigmatic Prince of Ponyton, who may well prove more dangerous than even Queen Chrysalis if he remains free.
Chapters (5)
Uhm... Are you sure you didn't mark this "Complete" by accident? I mean, it's good right up until you leave us hanging with that seemingly unnecessary ending. If this is, indeed "Complete", then it seems like it could end right after Second Glance finishes his report on Jack.
Anyway, on a more technical side of things, excellent except for that you need to split a paragraph whenever another character starts speaking.
2445186
Having mentally compared the two formats, I am forced to conclude that you (and everyone else who's said so) are correct about the paragraph formatting. I'll be implementing those corrections as soon as I am able to.
You cannot have more than one person speaking in a single paragraph. If someone has spoken and someone else needs to speak, you need to start a new one, no matter how short the paragraphs will be as a result. I can't tell what's going on because I can't keep track of who's talking.
2457177
Based on empirical evidence, it seems that the magic number of people telling me to fix something before I actually fix it is 3.
This is despite the fact that all three of you were right: Not only does it read better, I feel much happier with the result.
So this "The Prince of Ponyton" story was going to be separate? That explains that... Glad to see a continuation on this, one way or another! Quick question: When, in relation to the events of the show, does this happen? -or are you going to answer this in a future chapter?
2569637
That's mentioned in the description, but it might be touched on later, too. All I have so far is a rough outline of the story's overall direction.
Okay, so they are chasing a Changeling, a special changeling and an investigator arrives with his own detachment of Royal Guard and they have noticed a sudden increase of Guard ponies while they discuss this among themselves. Call me crazy but either the 'Prince' has escaped or is one of them, I'd say Second Glance but then that's moving the story too fast.
I like how you demonstrated here that Tollens isn't just an instant genius detective; he and Glance can have real back-and-forth dialogue!
2717777
Wouldn't do much good as an audience proxy if he had no room to grow?
In a heartbeat - changelings are awesome, and your writing them only amplifies this.
... Assuming, of course, it doesn't get lost in obscurity before it is found :x
2769210
Yeah, what's up with that? It's almost like you guys haven't been telling all friends to come read my stuff and get free candy beans.
Your story has been recommended for consumption. Tremble, mortal!