PhycoKrusk (fi'ko-krüs'k) n. that jerk whose user page you accidentally wandered into
Ponies have long lived in the magical land of Equestria, and have come to know the multitude of creatures their share that land with.
Changelings are not among those creatures.
When the Queen of Changelings arrives at their doorstep, desperately asking for their help, the Magic of Friendship moves Night Light and Twilight Velvet to offer it. But that night would not be the end of the story of the mimic queen's legacy.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Alright, Phyco, I'll bite. It's and interesting beginning to be sure, and a lot more involved in the whole "changelings are starving" idea than most. But what does this mean for little Twily and the regular events of the show? How does being a love-sucking parasite alter the sonic rainboom events?
I guess I'll just have to track this and find out.
The writing and descriptions tended toward the obtuse at the beginning; I feel like I need to brush up on my college-level reading for this. Or read "Starstruck" again.
7886123
The writing and descriptions tending towards obtuse is, in fact, intentional on my part; you may actually notice that with most of my works tagged "Drama" (just as you'll notice that descriptions in my works tagged "Comedy" tend to run thin). I could not tell you why this is.
As stated, this story is not yet written in full, and I don't know fully what I intend to do, but I was tired of sitting on this chapter and not sharing it.
I'm very glad that it's being very well received so far, although I am a little perturbed that it's already gone onto several bookshelves as a Favourite when we're only one chapter in.
Tracking.
While I can't say that the idea is new at this point, for how many times that I have seen this concept, I think that this is promising at least and I hope you will give this your own twist to this to make it stand out on its own.
Okay, you have my interest. I have seen this concept before, and I am interested to see how this one will turn out.
7886445
I'm glad you like it, and that you think it's of good quality.
7886469 7886543
Certainly it isn't a new idea, and I'm not convinced this is even an original spin on the idea (although I could be mistaken about that), but it's always been my opinion that being original is not important so long as the story is compelling. I'm happy to hear that it has caught your interest; thank you for giving me a chance.
7886630 Oh, I am not too hard to please. Whether it is new or old, original or not, as long as I find it interesting, I will read it.
Hmm, Twilight being Chryssie's daughter is not a new concept, but this is the first fic where one seen Chryssie openly asking them to care for her instead of dropping her on their doorstep or replacing a stillbirth foal.
Quite good so far, nicely written and good characterisations. Faving.
'pulled into a thin, predatory grinned' - should be 'grin'.
'trying to help her to stay upstairs' - tell instead of help.
7886630 The part where Chryssie openly visits the two to five Twilight to them is new. And yeah, there are tons of ways to develop a general idea, and your version looks quite good so far.
the open meeting is new. love it so far. keep up the good work
Ah yes, I remember reading this story. Glad to see it out in the wild. I loved the way the descriptions at the start set the mood for the Sparkle household and home. I hope it can go someplace good soon.
Caught one mistake:
Weakly, Chrysalis, tears still blurring her eyes. “
7890325
That's how you can tell it's something that I wrote: The errors are mostly keys that didn't get pressed all the way.
hello 7890953 The queen is the mother of the hive?
I ask because I am collecting all the stories in which the queen is the mother of the hive.
Here is the address
http://www.fimfiction.net/bookshelf/851658/queen-mother-of-the-hives
Looks good so far. Hoping for more!
7973912
I don't know how this got shuffled out of my notifications, but in the context of this story, no, the Queen is not the mother/progenitor of the colony.
8779909
ok
thanks for answering
Could you continue this?
9322790
I have been trying to, and even working on it. Stories come in fits and starts for me, which is why I normally like to have one at least fully outlined and partially finished before I post anything. The slew of unfinished stories I have should be sufficient explanation for why.
But I at least have a plan for what comes next, so there’s that?
9323026
I like it. Reminds me of tom117z's story, "Change." I look forward to the next chapter, hopefully soon.