Epilogue
EPILOGUE
“I hope you’ll be comfortable, Miss Pinwheel.”
“Oh, it’s Missus.” Pinwheel replied, smiling at the bookstore owner. The old brown stallion nodded, smiling in spite of his error. He pushed the glass door open with his shoulder, waving Pinwheel inside. Pinwheel bowed her head in thanks as she entered the bookshop. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and paper swirled around her head. The bookstore could be described as small, cozy. Warm wooden shelves filled the small space, but somehow there was just enough room for a glass pastry case and café in the corner. The bookstores in Canterlot were much fancier than the ones back in Ponyville. Pinwheel couldn’t think of a single Ponyville bookstore that boasted a café in back. Still smiling, Pinwheel turned and looked down at the small filly still hesitating in the doorway, “Do you want a cookie, Marilyn?”
The small, pale grey unicorn inched her way into the bookstore. She darted past the bookstore owner, eyeing him suspiciously. Her blue eyes darted mischievously behind her thick, round glasses. Pinwheel ruffled the little mare’s straw-colored mane. Aside from the glasses and the blue eyes, though, Marilyn and Pinwheel looked nothing like each other. Marilyn’s dark coat clashed with her mother’s bright blue one. “What kind of cookie?” Marilyn asked, peeking at the pastry case from between her mother’s legs.
“Any kind you want. Go pick one.” Pinwheel nudged her forward. Marilyn skipped toward the pastry case, pressing her face right up against the glass. The mare behind the register smiled sweetly at Marilyn. Pinwheel turned back toward the bookstore owner, “So where are we setting up?”
The bookstore owner gestured to a card table toward the back of the bookstore. Stacks of books, each as high as Pinwheel’s chest, sat piled up around the table. Pinwheel approached the table. Smiling, she touched one of the tomes. ‘Near Death Experience’, the front cover read in a swirling, elegant font, ‘by Pinwheel’. It had taken her years to compile all the stories and details. The parts about Celestia ended up having to be trimmed, if only out of respect for the Princess. Even so, the story contained in these piles of books still came straight from Pinwheel’s memories. Her relationship with Pale Hoof, from meeting to proposal, all contained in a single book. “Do you like it?” The bookstore owner asked.
“This will be just fine.” Pinwheel smiled at the bookstore owner, “Um, this is my first book. How do these book signing things usually go?”
“Oh, don’t worry, ma’am. You just sit here and give out your autograph. Maybe talk to your readers a little.”
Pinwheel blinked, shaking her head. Readers. She actually had readers. The thought stirred something fuzzy and warm inside her chest. All of a sudden, Marilyn reappeared, peeking over the top of the mound of books. “I want the one with rainbow sprinkles!” She declared decisively, throwing one hoof in the air.
Pinwheel laughed. She glanced over at the bookstore owner. “How much?”
“Oh, don’t worry. She can have all the cookies she likes, on the house.”
Pinwheel smirked. “Are you sure? Marilyn will eat the house if you let her.”
“I insist.” The bookstore owner gestured to the pastry case. Breaking into a manic grin, Marilyn rushed over and began demanding cookies from the mare behind the cash register.
The little bell above the shop door rang. Pinwheel half-turned to look at the new guest. There, standing half-in and half-out of the door was a tall grey stallion. His long, black mane flopped in his face, nearly obscuring his electric green eyes. He looked around the bookstore, scanning each shelf. Finally, he caught sight of the Pinwheel staring at him and broke into a wide, toothy grin. Pinwheel beamed in return. “AM I…” He paused, coughing into his hoof, “Am I late?”
“No, I’m just setting up.” Pinwheel patted the table. She beckoned the tall pony over, “You can be my first official signature.”
“It is only fitting.” The grey colt crossed the bookstore floor over to Pinwheel. He peered down at the piles of books, inspecting the covers critically. For the cover illustration, Pinwheel’s publisher had chosen an elaborate, abstract depiction of the pony Reaper. White lines swept across a black field, forming the outline of his cloak. A stylized skull hovered just beneath the title. The grey colt harrumphed, “That is not what I look like at all! Who chose this abominable illustration?”
Pinwheel hissed through her teeth. “Keep it down, Chuckles.” She whispered, “You’re not even supposed to be in Canterlot. Celestia said Ponyville only, remember?”
“I do not care what Celestia says, I go where I please.” Pale Hoof whispered back, selecting a book off the top of a nearby pile and setting it down in front of Pinwheel, “And it pleases me to be near you.”
Pinwheel struggled not to smile as she flipped open the front cover. A fountain pen and an inkwell filled with blue ink sat near the edge of the table. As Pinwheel put the pen to paper, though, Marilyn returned with a plate full of cookies floating by her head. She ate them one after the other, shoving entire cookies in her mouth and swallowing them whole. Upon catching sight of the grey stallion, though, she gasped sharply and nearly choked. “DADDY!” She shrieked in delight, her mouth still full of cookie. The black aura around the plate of cookies vanished and it smashed on the floor. Marilyn flung her front hooves around Pale Hoof’s leg, “I’m so glad you’re here! They’re giving out cookies and everything! Are you visiting? Is this your visiting week? Did you bring me a present from the spooky realm? Did ya? Did ya?”
Pinwheel seized hold of the little filly, clapping a hoof over her mouth. “Shush!” Pinwheel whispered. The bookstore owner, if he’d heard, said nothing. He merely fetched a broom from the corner and started sweeping the cookies up. Pinwheel let out a sigh of relief. Gently, she set Marilyn back down, “Don’t yell in bookstores, Marilyn.” Pinwheel smiled at the filly, who pouted.
“I didn’t know Daddy was gonna visit!” Marilyn replied. She gazed adoringly up at Pale Hoof, her blue eyes wide with rapture, “Did you bring me a present? Did you?”
“As a matter of fact, I did.” Pale Hoof replied. He glanced around. After a moment, his eyes fixed on a particularly deep shadow between two piles of books. The shadow flickered and began to move across the floor. It crept up Marilyn’s front leg, climbing from her chest into her mane. There, it materialized as a large, silky black bow. Marilyn let out another gasp of delight. She rushed to the shop window, peering at her reflection in the glass.
“Oh, Daddy, it’s the most beautiful ribbon that ever was!” She giggled, turning circles to admire her gift. The ribbon bounced weightlessly as she trotted around. Pinwheel couldn’t help but smile.
“She’s never going to take that ribbon out of her mane, you know.” Pinwheel shook her head, still grinning. Pale Hoof snorted.
“Either way, I believe you owe me a signature.”
Pinwheel picked the pen back up with her teeth and signed her name in looping font in the front cover of the book. Setting the pen aside, she closed the book with a decisive ‘thump’ and slid it across the table to Pale Hoof, “There you go. My first signature on my first book.”
“About your first love.” Pale Hoof added.
Pinwheel chuckled. “And last. Til Death do us part.”
“I don’t think either of us have to worry about that.”
Pinwheel smirked. “No. No, we don’t.”
THE END
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Anonymous Pegasus · 46k words · 1,850 37 · 26k views
- Schrodinger's Pony · 14k words · 24 3 · 1.7k views
- Poet Knight · 1.3k words · 16 2 · 409 views
- Agarwaen · 63k words · 596 19 · 9.6k views
- Midnightshadow · 85k words · 1,035 31 · 17k views
- Corvus Eclipse · 89k words · 18 2 · 1.4k views
- DiveBomb · 74k words · 1,077 12 · 15k views
- Terse · 11k words · 22 1 · 7.7k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.208 seconds
Total duration
1,013 users online
1,822,112 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Dawwwwwwww
So, how did they have a kid if he does not even have a circulatory system, even in his "flesh form"? None the less good story.
415151 Magicks.
Awesome story, I was sad when I saw it was "Complete".
no more death ponie?oooooooowwwwww
... Well B*CK... You broke my *Squee*! It's stuck in Mega-cheerful-yet-also-somehow-insanely-depressed mode! CURSE YOU!!! It's over! I'm happy, and I'm sad, and... Oh no... CRAP! THAT MEANS THAT I'M SAPPY!
*Starts crying*
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
p.s. Will comment again later. *Is too distraught over such a wonderful story being over to comment at the length he so wishes to speak*
And so ends the story of the first fan fiction I have ever read. When I became a brony in around August of last year this was the first fan fic I read, I found this story through a link to fanfiction.net via Equestria Daily. I loved the dark gallows humor, the drama and the d'awww moments. Now, that it's over and done, it feels very much like saying good bye to an old friend. I loved all 27 chapters. There were parts that made you cheer, parts that made you go huh, parts that made you go d'awww and parts that made you cringe.
I need to give this fic a full review, if it weren't for Near Death Experience I would have never gotten into reviewing and writing fan fiction myself nor would I have meet the awesome people I do collaborations with in the community. With all the sappy rhetoric over I'd like to say thank you.
Review: Near Death Experience is a story about an unusual pairing and that is a a regular pony named Pinwheel and Death himself whom refers to himself as Pale Hoof. It starts off as a dark comedy in the first half of fic with Pale Hoof not being able to adjust to the mortal realm and constantly causing death accidentally and constantly having to bring the tings he's killed back to life. Meanwhile the other half of this pairing Pinwheel is an extremely patient person whom must deal with her significant other being the grim reaper. The setting intertwines wit most of season one of the show. This like a better version of Meet Joe Back meets the show Dead Like Me. Now for the rating:
The Good:
_The pacing
_It was easy to read and didn't suffer from wall of text.
_The characters. A story needs a strong main cast and Pale Hoof and Pinwheel are so fantastic.
_Detail, I know how 90% of this fic's world works.
The Bad:
_You really miss those comedy moments from the first half in the last third of the fic.
I'd give is a solid 5 out of 5 stars: Perfection
gifs.gifbin.com/1237977458_thumbsup-terminator.gif
Peace Out...I think I need a hug.
*It hurts me to say this but, please don't make a sequel. I really can't see there being one to this fic.
415123
Seconded.
Loved the story. I really want to see a story with Marilyn as the protagonist, but only if you feel like it. We know forced sequels have a tendency to go FUBAR.
dawwwwwwwwww.....
with ponies: even death can be cute!
I loved this story. Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing it.
Also, please don't write a sequel unless you feel that you can do a really good job with it. As it is now, the story really is pretty much finished, and I love that you didn't drag it out more than it needed to be.
Also, Pale Hoof is now up there with favorite Pony OCs with Sir Unimpressive from Ponies Make War and Screwball from Total War: Equestria.
I love that ending. Short but sweet. Oh, and I'm sure I'm not the only one hoping for a Marilyn pic.
416564
http://pinwheel-princess.deviantart.com/gallery/32061733#/d49g0ho
There you go!
415151
Haha, I knew I was going to get that question.
Well, Pale Hoof can alter his body. One of the later chapters showed him rebuilding it piece by piece. I figure he could make a circulatory system if he wanted one.
But without going into too much detail, I'll just say "magic" and call it a day.
416806
And now I feel stupid because I remember seeing that earlier. Oh well. I hope she makes an appearance in the blog.
Wonderful story i dawed and i laughed
There most likely won't be a sequel. One of the best parts of writing the story was the fact that we could follow the canon about 90% of the way. Originally we were going to continue the fanfic with Marilyn, but that would require too much headcanon than either I nor Hadles are comfortable with. We actually had the outline for the sequel already planned out almost to the end, but it most likely will never happen.
But that doesn't mean the writing will stop. Hadles and we already have a few more stories planned out. There's also the Ask Pale Hoof tumblr.
417294
What Noah said.
The epilogue takes place a couple of years in the future, obviously. So we'd have to prepare headcanon for the Mane 6, the CMC, and basically all of Ponyville.
Now, we have our own headcanons, but I've never felt comfortable with fanfics that impose the author's headcanon onto the show. I even felt a little uncomfortable writing the Interlude because it had so much Luna/Celestia/Discord headcanon.
So there probably won't be a sequel. The tumblr acts as a "semi-sequel", but it has no plot planned or anything.
How long has THIS been here?!?
*Tracks the BUCKING FETLOCKS out of it*
Well! I guess now we know how, er, ‘in-depth’ his 'disguise' is
Thanks for the fun ride Hadles and I will be sure to check out Palehooves' tumbler.
This story got me interested in reading fan-fiction, it seems so strange to see it finally come to a close. Thank you for writing it.
*sigh* All the good things in life have to come to an end
:
!!!
Thank you for this wonderful story
Read this story all the way through today and it was a pleasure to read. This story deserves much more than just a few hundred views. Sad that it's over though
And so it is complete
A tale of love so sweet
Never shall I compare
A story so rare
For I know of nothing that can compete
*Heart attack*
This is by far my #1 favorite fan fix story and im reading alot of them right now
The way you introduced the story in general and kept the pacing of drama, downtime, fun times, and grim times was rather splendid, you did an amazing job and I am very much looking forward to your next story, it was truly an amazing time reading this story, Thank you
This was wonderful, I'm really glad I saw this under the romance filter.
i stayed up till 4am just to read ALL of it in one night....i regret nothing. freaking amazing story and i loved it
i would flip shit if you made a sequel 
This was such a fun read. Loved the premise, loved the conclusion, loved the ride.
D'awwwww! That's such a sweet ending! I'm happy for the two of them. It seems like Pinwheel's influence has really warmed Death over.
I loved reading this. Thanks so much for all your work.
One typo, a couple chapters back: When the Night Guards arrive in Everfree Castle, rather than getting unhinged from the chariot they should probably get unhitched.
It has ended... So long... Greatest romance story on FiMFiction.
431526
Thanks, I'll fix that!
THIS STORY WAS AMAZING!!!!!! I LUVED EVERY MOMENT
*chapter 7~9* Well that was morbid.
Glad I kept reading though, really like it so far. Pretty over the top idea. Dating death. Sounds like a right foul pain. o.o
From 1 to awesome, I'm going to have to give this an 8.
Tat's a good thing!!
Couldn't read the ending as soon as it came out, deeply sorry about that. To say a word or two about the story-
Well.. it's brilliant. I'm not sure whether the idea was an original one, regardless, the story is great. If the idea was original.. well.. you're a GENIUS! It was quite mixed when it comes to genre, not exactly your regular grim dark fic nor your regular shipping... plus comedy! The nature of the story makes it quite a bumpy ride, shifting between the aforementioned genres, but it's a enjoyable one. I'm not going to start nitpicking here but I'll just add that maybe the plot progression could be a little ironed out.
Oh and Marilyn was an eyeopener! So grim and scary yet so adorable! I would love to read something else from the same universe. Though I'd suggest a different kind of story..
Now I going to stalk your profile... *ahem*
that was... AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!
seriously this story had so many elements to it! and I couldn't stop laughing at all the grim humor. this story was touching, grim, romantic, funny, and just over all wow. and now its over...
oh well, I cant wait to see what you write next.
565315
Thanks! I'll correct that.
@Hadles
Oh god... (not so) Manly tears where shead. All my favorite stories are ending!!!
Loved this the whole way through! Macabre and humorous all at the same time. All my joys.
You can has.
Hope to see more from you guys in the future!
My life is complete. This story is golden!
Why everything good has to end?
Hadles, you win one free internet.
I do have to say that I found myself laughing and enjoying both of the main characters greatly. I do hope to see a follow up some time. Until then, I might have to read it again. I just love the way Death is played in this story! Kudos!!
Amazingness
Glad I read it. Time pleasantly spent. ^^
1275403 Huh? Death is not what motivates me. Fun motivates me. Imagine somebody dancing the night away at a club. Is she there because she wants to get in some dancing before she dies? No.
There's a Pale Hoof Tumblr?! I'VE BEEN MISSING QUESTIONS?! DAMMIT! *Rushes off to the Tumblr*
If I weren't so fucking lazy, I would've done a redrawing, for my own happiness. Love the story
Okay, first off: loved the story and absolutely favorited it. But I have a few things I have to say.
First, while I certainly have great appreciation for Death's attitude (totally underdstandable and realistic), the whole story at the end almost seems pointless except for the romance (which isn't the only focus here) because he hasn't really learned anything from his experience. He still goes around mouthing off to Celestia and generally showing he hasn't gained a respect for the lives of mortals. Of course, that might have something to do with the way you've portrayed Celestia, bringing me to my second point. In most other fics, Celestia is either Lawful Good played straight (The Immortal Game) or Lawful Good with understandable mortal flaws (Past Sins, Eternal). Here, however, you show her as either Chaotic Neutral or Chaotic Good at best. Half the time she's being a stuck-up bitch, and the other half she's showing how much she doesn't care about Death or Luna. Her only admirable moments are when she promises not to separate Death and Pinwheel, and when she goes after him after he causes the disasters. While I can certainly respect a break from the show's canon - hell, I do it all the time - I'm not sure I agree with such a drastically different portrayal of Celestia. It just seems too wrong to me.
But, whatever. Your fic, not mine. Looking forward to more!
1479804
Celestia was being a bit bitchy, but you fail to acknowledge that Pale Hoof was killing her subjects in droves (not to mention nearly killing her). As you said, he has no respect for the living; you can't exactly sugar coat the issues when dealing with someone like that. So I think Celestia's attitude was reasonable.
Still, I agree that the last part of the three was a little underwhelming. Celestia and Death basically continue the same dance, but the tune picks up it's pace. There's no real character growth in either of them. It's great that Pinwheel and Chuckles finally come together and even have a foal (weird, that), but it still falls flat in comparison to parts 1 & 2.
Still, it was at least worth reading to wrap up an otherwise excellent fic. I certainly hope to read this "Robbery in Ponyville," I think it was?
1482302
True, but what I was getting that is that even before Death and Celestia started the whole direct confrontation thing (which they did several times over) she was a bit OOC, in my opinion.
I suppose the reason it just felt so fundamentally wrong to me is that the whole thing is really a self-perpetuating cycle: no one knows where it starts, but it has Death being inconsiderate followed by Celestia bitching out followed by Death being stubborn about viewing things through the eyes of mortals and therefore being even more inconsiderate, and then Celestia bitches out some more, Pinwheel flips and tries to cover for him, Dizzy complicates things, an OC pony gets involved whom Death then kills...it just felt like, by the end, the story was kind of a repetition of a cycle which it had done about two times before.
Don't get me wrong, I love the story, but there's definitely improvements that could me made.
Also, on a completely different note, I still haven't figured out how to change the numbers in the reply tag into someone's username. Any advice?
1482446
It's automatic; the reply still shows up as numbers to me, but if I look back at the comment later, it's usually changed to a user name. Also, you can mouse over the reply to view the original comment. If you didn't know.