Why was the first one deleted? :o

Yay! It's back! Again!

Maybe I can actually FINISH it this time, before something ELSE happens...

>>264867264867

See his blog. The poor author got hacked. (Twice!) Wiped out ALL of his stories and sent luid comments to his fans. (I was called the brittish word for cigarette.)

Thankfully the party responsable was found and dragged away by the cops. It isn't very Brony of me, but I find comfort in the idea of the ******* being someone's love monkey in the state pen.

eternal is so good it's going to be feature boxed three times

Excellent. Perfect, even. So glad it's back!

So very glad to have device heretic back.

take my love, my admiration, and all of my approval.

I've heard nothing but good things about this story. Once I've got the free time, I'm definitely sitting down with a hot cup of tea to read it (as well as many refreshings of said cup ).

Derp.

I can honestly say, that this is probably the most beautiful thing I've ever read. All the nights staying up till five in the morning reading this have been worth it.

here is what i did when this story was first deleted.

Image: http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6078/6116735415_cbeda84146_m.jpg

aww yeah its back!!!!!!!!

hey everyone lets get as many mirrors of this out there as we can in case this ever goes down again. I do not want to surf an internet that does not have " eternal " in it.

oh and if someone is reading  this and hasn't actually read " eternal"  , this is  a legend ,  easily one of the " Big 4" ponyfics ( the others three being "  Fallout : equestria" " past sins" and " my little dashie"  ). DROP EVERYTHING  and read this ASAP. your life will be better for it.

>>265303265303

herp

Wow

I swear, if I have to favourite and thumbs up this thing once again...

I'll gladly do it.

Re-re liked. Re-re faved. Take all of my love Device. All of it.

That ending makes me want to curl up into a ball and purr like a kitten.

>>265479265479

Heh. Not bad for a story that was writen to help the author cope with the delays between "Composure" updates...

...on THAT note, I really SHOULD read "Composure" as well some time.

>>265972265972

What he said, and twice as hard.

> Read Eternal

> Listen to Amazing Grace

>

Re-re-liked and re-retracked : )

I am so very glad to see this story back.  When it was deleted I had just finished the last chapter and was about to read the Epilogue.  It is a wonderful and moving story with amazing depth and feeling.

Wow. I just got the weirdest sense of deja vu ...

In all seriousness, it's great to see device heretic back on the site and great to see the return of what I am confident in saying is one of the most highly-regarded stories in the fandom - and for good reason.

And now I can get back to finishing it. Re-tracked, and, hopefully, soon to be favorited. Just five more chapters to go!

Thank you for reposting.  It's a beautiful story.

Ah, yes! It's back! Now then,

I've actually wanted to comment on this work for quite some time, so I guess now is as good a time as any. I honestly don't know where to begin. This is one of the absolute best things I've ever read, and this includes non-pony, published literature. I remember reading the first chapter or so thinking, "hmm, not sure if I'll come back to this," but I did, and I'm certainly glad I decided to. The way this story progressed was just amazing, and how you hit flawlessly on all the different aspects of Celestia's rather complicated relationship with Twilight...just wow. The "dream sequences" were Twilight had to confront her fears/reality (and of course, that epic journey through Celestia's mind) were certainly interesting, and had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. You did such a fantastic job tugging at my emotions throughout this too, and I'm normally pretty stoic. The ending literally had me in tears. Bittersweet, but rightfully so, any other ending wouldn't have had such a profound impact.

Well done! I hope to be seeing more work from you in the future.

Glad to see this is back up

This chapter...just....wow.

You basically took the meaning of life as I see it, put ponies in it, and mixed it with Friendship, Love, Hatred, Resentment and every other thing you can think of. This truly is inspiring.

Also, yay!

that was... interesting, don't see that sort of things happen all that often. o.O

good story so far nonetheless.

Gah, for fucks sake! I've written two comments before, both prior to each deletion of this fic. I don't care at this point to even recreate it, so let me quickly say this: Thank you for writing this! It was an amazing experience, and I have placed the bookmark in my 'Archive' folder, a place where only 7 other fics reside amongst few hundreds I have read over the past year. Eternal deserves the spot- truly, and I thank you again.

whooooooooooooooo its back

yay its back!

Now I finally finished the story. I can safely say the last chapter and the epilogue were simply fantastic. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Everything....just...beautiful.

One soul. Two bodies. (I will use this again in the future)

Thank you so, so much for this story.

Thanks again Device for putting the story back up. I don't think I can put my words as eloquently as before, but it is truly a beautiful tale.

>>269412269412

"A true friend is one soul sharing two bodies" is a quote from Aristotle.

Liked and favorited again.

Device Heretic, I'm glad that your "hacker" troubles are over and that you haven't been discouraged from putting this brilliant piece of writing back up once again.

Epic story. The last 4 parts did not disappoint. This was a story I couldn't rush through, and so the last third made for one hell of a week.  And because everyone in this fic makes a big deal about a few sentences I'm going to indulge myself and assume Twilight eventually succumbed to Braeburn's wiles. I'm not lying to myself if I believe hard enough it's a hidden hint!

This story was AWESOME! one of the better ones I have read! The only thing that I hate about it is WHY DID IT END SO SADLY I cried for 3 days after reading this amazing story, and it still makes me sad! But it was soo WORTH IT! congrats on the epic story my good sir!

Have MUSTACHES!

Alright, lets try this again.

Seeing as it's your first story, I hope I can give you some helpful pointers. Whilst the story was beautifully written, I feel as if at times the pacing was far too slow. It's as if you tried to describe far too much, dragging scenes out for much longer than they needed to be. Now, whilst that's not always a bad thing, when you have chapters of around 10,000 words and a significant portion of a chapter dedicated to a scene that goes on for a very long time, the story feels like it's progressed to a halt. However, you did make up for that by making the next scene progress much faster (generally). It's why I was able to finish the story so easily, the dips were always relinquished by the ups, and it kept me hooked. However, I won't lie when I say I did get a bit bored in those scenes that just never seemed to end and went on for far too long. My first comment (before it got deleted) I think described this much better. Not sure if I'm really getting across what I'm trying to say properly this time.

The only other thing I noticed was you tended to use archaic words that whilst I was able to understand, I know that the average reader wouldn't. Generally, if they're going to need to google a word you used, better to just replace it with a more common version of that word.

Other than that, a beautiful masterpiece of a story, especially for your very first one. Your descriptions and literary techniques flow marvellously together, and you seemed to pull off imagery very well; I could picture the things you were describing very easily. That's the biggest challenge for the average writer and you nailed it, in my opinion. The emotions you were conveying throughout were easily relatable and didn't seem far fetched for the characters you were portraying at the time, which is another thing the average writer seems to struggle with. I'm sorry for those personal issues that were affecting you recently, but I'm happy to hear that you kept writing and didn't let it discourage you. You have one hell of a talent, that with a bit of experience, could blossom into something special. Keep at it, man.

I think that was everything... probably not though. Ah well. :)

>>270570270570

Could you do me a favor-- because, as the author, I have a very hard time gauging this sort of thing, and feel like the whole thing moves at breakneck speed and never describes anything well enough-- and point out a few of the scenes you think went on too long? Preferably not from the first three chapters, because they're just...I know they're bad.

When this got deleted i immediately regreted not reading it.

But now i came back, favorited, thumbed and started what seems like a long journey to finish this awesome fic.

Thanks for reuploading this and i hope you dont get hacked again.

>>270582270582

No problem, I'll just give them a quick skim, seeing as it's been a bit since I read the story. Don't want my memory going fuzzy on me.

Although your points about never describing anything well enough is definitely wrong. Sometimes you described far too much to the point where I started to think it was becoming 'word soup' (I suffer from this problem too, funnily enough.) :P

Will get back to you soonish.

P.S. Don't call them bad; they're not. I was just emphasising the tiny niggles a bit too much, I think.

Pinkie Pie is the major of Ponyville...

Scootaloo is a Wonderbolt...

Applejack and Rainbow Dash are a couple(...?)

This is turning into something really amazing

EDIT: It really looks like Celestia is jealous of Twilight...

Back again. Bitchin'. AND it looks like the original URL... so now when I prod my friend to finally read it, I won't need to send her a new link.

It's kind of principle with me to not reread a story when I've finished it, which I set on myself after getting bored halfway through a reread of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy... but this fandom, and especially this story, will force my hand, I just know it. Because put bluntly (I've used up too much eloquent praise), I FUCKING LOVE this story, and I would so love to have the honor of reading through it again. And again. And AGAIN. Hell, I should probably copy it into Word, print it and keep a physical copy. Partly to dodge all chances of past shenanigans recurring and ruining access to it (though $55,000 sounds like incentive enough to leave you alone for a LONG time), and partly because I'm curious to see how thick of a book it would be on paper. Plus, maybe my friend I keep mentioning can probably art up a fitting cover once she reads it, and I have another who works with binding in case it's that thick. Actually, the more I type about it, the better of an idea it sounds; the fear that you'd take issue with that is the one thing keeping me from doing it right this second, because I don't want to overstep any boundaries.

Crap, I'm babbling again. Why does no one stop me from doing that?

>>271627271627

>you propose a monument to my astounding greatness in the form of breaking a printer

>afraid I'd be upset

Yeah, no. Do your best.

>>271908271908

Oh my god. 646 pages, and all I did to it was fix some awkward alignment issues the transfer created. I've read Stephen King books shorter than this story.

...I may JUST have the paper for this if I do the no-shit-Sherlock thing and print double-sided. But that's not gonna be a fun conversation to have with my folks and/or shop teacher when I tear through all that paper and ink. And if I bring this into the graphic/printing press shop at my school, I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining the My Little Pony novel I'm dragging in to get BOUND.

I'll need to bide my time, to my chagrin. BUT SOON.

>>272226272226

To be fair, it's 646 standard ruled pages. Stephen King novels tend to be word bricks, right-- tiny print, all close together.

At ~160,000 words, "Eternal" is approximately as long as "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince". "The Stand" is like...500,000 words.

This. Fic.

This fic now joins Its Dangerous To Step Outside Your Door as one of my top fics. I'm a LITTLE sad that it didn't end with Twilestia romance, but I feel the fic really didn't need it at all, so good on you. I'm sad the story is over, but I'd LOVE to see a series of stories based around Dawnie and her training.

I was so relieved to see this come back on the site.  The world needs this story.

I love how Luna apparently falls right into Caper Princess Mode.  Somehow suits her.

>>272331272331

Oh, so that's where all my time went.

Holy crap, man.  You pumped out a damned Harry Potter book in a couple months, and it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever read, ponyfic or not.

Oh my...i am literally shaking right now

I can't believe what is happening.Celestia...will die? Twilight will take her place?

For Rainbow Dash’s part, she was…

…jealous.

I knew it! She is jealous of her protege!

I had only read the first part of chapter eight before it went down, and so was freaking out about having left the house instead of just reading the way through that day. Your attitude to the whole thing makes me feel better about it all; I was kind of worried (ie: ) it would put you off further writing, at least in FiM.

You may be new at writing (at least stuff for others to read) but your skill already shows greatly. This story has rocketed Celestia to the top of my list (she is saddest pony - she is best pony) and I've long been a fan of Twilestia (which this story isn't exactly is the romantic sense, but the emotions between characters is more important than anything). I for one liked the long and detailed conversations between the principles, and felt the speed only added to the weight of the words spoken.

This story's world may be finished with (in a much happier manner than I thought it was leading to - was a bit thrown by that), but I am slaveri- uhh... excited for anything else you put out.

(I used too many parentheses again, didn't I?)

Words fail me... (in a good way)

This was such a beautiful, beautiful, bittersweet story. I cried so many tears, my eyes actually hurt. Hardly a complaint, though. They were the sweetest tears I could have ever cried.

I...don't have words to describe what I'm feeling. I can say that I highly recommend this story.

....it made me realize I don't spend enough time with my friends. It made me realize I miss them so terribly much. I'm fixing that now.

Thank you. So many tears...so, so many tears....

I was listening to Adventures In Equestria a few times during the story. The song is sad and dark at times, mysterious, exciting, joyous, and moving.

By God, this is excellent!

What did Twillight dream of?

I'm dying here....

Image: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Qvrw9KrDuAM/Twfr7E7SI-I/AAAAAAAAAEg/RzmX61vXdag/s1600/CLAP.gif

That was...beautiful.

One of the best stories I've read.

You ought to have an award.

so much mind fucking going on

just beautiful and amazing...

One soul, sharing two bodies.

Wise words from a wise ancient philosopher.Aristotle.

And thus and probably one of the finest written stories, not only about MLP, but in the whole wide world.

It has been a great and inspiring journey ending this. Thank you for the opportunity....

I read this from beginning to end over the course of the past week.  In every bit of free time I had (and some not so free), I simply could not put it down.  I love your characterization of, well, everypony.  In particular, I like how you portrayed the Sun: the very definition of innocence shattered.  I really was not expecting the Sun's decision at the end.  When I got into the epilogue, though, I had to agree that no other method would have hammered in the lesson on humility.

Many times, especially through the epilogue, I had to reread the portion I just went through due to tearing up.  The emotions displayed throughout were very powerful.  My hat is off to you, sir.  Thank you for writing and sharing this masterpiece.

Confound These Ponies. They Drive Me To Use Up My Data Plan.

So device heretic, you just wrote the  best fanfic ever, WHATERYOUGONNADONEXT?!

Much like prime, I want to print this masterpiece for all I know to share. You've done something absolutely outstanding here, and you should be the proudest of bronies. I stayed up through the past week, reading chapters until dawn, and I wouldn't exchange it for the world.

>>293172293172

I'm going to Disney land!

Oh dear Celestia....

So many tears...

Dear Mr. device heretic,

Thank you so much for one of the greatest fanfics I've ever read.

As an unfitting tribute, I felt I had to draw a scene. Hopefully it's okay if I did.

The True Place

Please never stop writing.

Your faithful stud... um... admirer,

Selenelion

I was going to read the Wayward Knight that you just released, but I felt my body wasn't ready. I'm not kidding. I had to go back to see who Starlight Chaser was again. Then, as I read the first two words of wayward knight, I felt AGAIN that my body wasn't ready. I went to grab stuff to eat, stuff to drink...and then I reread the epilogue of Eternal. I cried....again.

I don't know what else to say. I know someday I will grow out of ponies, but I'm still pretty sure that when I'll look back at everything, Eternal will be one of the first things to come to mind...

Love.

The dichotomy of this story and the bouncing Twilight seal everytime I click the next page...  

I've finally finished reading.

I am now going to fave this.

I don't have the time to write a proper review at the moment, as I'm only on my lunch break, but rest assured that one is coming. For the time being, know that this was incredible.

I hate myself for not reading this sooner. Over the past few weeks (maybe even months; I'm not sure) every single time I saw that Eternal had been updated, I would promise myself that I would get to reading it soon - and yet, I never did. I'm glad that I finally have.

For all my talk about loving long, detailed comments, I'm not especially good at writing them myself. I tend to come across as rambling, and am never anywhere near as eloquent as I'd like to be. So forgive me if I fail to properly convey my meaning here.

I think the best word to sum up this masterpiece would be bittersweet, so I'm glad that's one of the tags on EqD. The prose is touched with melancholy, and this suits it well; after all, longing, nostalgia, and grief are all very prevalent themes, and inherently sad ones, as well. Longing for simpler times, nostalgia for innocence, and grief that everything must someday come to an end. Yet at the same time, there's a strange kind of joy to be found here - a celebration of fond memories, of the happy moments that we share with one another, and of what it means for a life to be well-lived.

I feel as though everything important that's ever needed to be said about life - about love and memory and relationships and eternity - can be found within the (figurative) pages of this text, and that's a huge feat. So congrats to you.

There's much, much more to this story than I was originally expecting. I was expecting a simple, melancholy story about Celestia watching Twilight age and coming to terms with losing her student, and although that's a major part of the tale, the scope is far grander and more epic. You weren't satisfied with merely examining a faltering relationship, and that's where the adventure aspect comes in, I see. But at the same time, although I loved the psychological journey Twilight takes as she explores what it means to be close to the princess, I found the "psychological" part more appealing than the "journey."

The symbolism, the meanings, the metaphors...as Twilight came to terms with what it meant to be close to Celestia, and as she learned how to build a true relationship with her...those are the elements of Eternal that I found most compelling. Again and again, I couldn't help but reflect on how painfully recognizable aspects of Twilight and Celestia's dilemma was. The familiarity wasn't only in the strain of coping with change and of trying to make a place for yourself in an evolving world, but in how difficult it can be to stay close to someone as you grow older.

Although this story was wonderfully complicated and beautifully written, at it's core, it was really a very simple tale. (At least, that's how I interpreted it, and it's always possible that I've completely misunderstood it.) With the more adventurous elements put aside, I saw it as the story of a child growing up and unconsciously moving away from their parent - in this case, parental figure - against the wishes of the involved parties. They both wanted things to stay exactly the same forever, but that's impossible, no matter how much you may wish for it, and so they had no choice but to adapt and find acceptance. With Celestia specifically, she attempted to stave off pain through forcing distance, and that's something I think everyone can relate to. The process of drifting away is a painful one.

And yet, that pain is touched with promise - the promise of finding a life of your own and of maybe changing for the better.  

Eternal is a thoughtful, intelligent piece, well-deserving of it's fame within the brony community, and I think you're one of the few authors out there who sincerely deserve the right to get big-headed about it. So go ahead and be as arrogant as you want. You've more than earned my respect, and I thank you for sharing this remarkable work of fiction with us. I mean, the story alone is incredible, but your talent for writing is where the true beauty of Eternal is. After all, your prose is elegant and poetic. It's absolutely intoxicating, and the deliciousness of the writing certainly helps to make reading process an enjoyable on, no matter how long or complex it may be.

It may be foolish to say so, but I almost want to say that I'm proud of you - I know that I had nothing to do with this fic, but I still feel a sense of pride in knowing that I'm a member of a community capable of producing such work.

I envy your talent and desperately hope that you won't limit yourself to this fandom, as much as I hope you continue to write for it. I think you could be incredible as an original writer and I'll happily read anything else you create.

I was really transported by this chapter, i could seriously imagine all of what happened in Twilights mind and i thought the character break was really convincing.

However, I would like to suggest that you make some fewer leaps in thinking in your writing, because even though they can be really rewarding for the reader, when i was reading, i sometimes lost the train of thought the characters had and i was rereading to see where they had come up with a conclusion or another. (When Celestia and Luna are talking and Celestia suddenly realizes whats wrong. I thought that maybe the lack of explanation was purposeful but if it wasn't then that really left me scratching my head.)

Make sure the reader doesn't lose a characters point when they have an epiphany.

Wow... I've read nothing like this ever before...  I cried at least six times...  The symbolism was amazing.  The writing was perfect.  You created a world of your own that weaves seamlessly into the show's story.  Such a bittersweet end too... Wow...  Thank you for writing this...  Wow...

I speak now not as a skilled writer but an avid reader and I must say I simply adore the complexity of this story. Well maybe not so simply, as I feel such a literary trek deserves a good deal more. When I first started this I was entranced by how much depth there was to be found here and so I resolved to follow it. However I grew tired of how much there was to read and that was cutting into my music writing time. Many a day later I saw the completed post on EqD and I knew I had to finish what I started for fear I would cease to be reminded of this story's existence. So I sat here reading when I could afford it for two days finishing the story and it was totally worth it. As I said earlier, the complexity to the tale was what kept me hooked. I am not a simple person and so I do love finding reads that occasionally merit a double take. This is among the finer works of Pony Fiction, right alongside the likes of Fallout: Equestria for its literary prowess.

In conclusion I wish to re-iterate how much I loved this story. I truly am glad I did not just give it up.

Later dude!

_Bagpipe Brony

Damn. I was struggling not to burst into tears, while I was reading the whole story.

But I kinda lost it when I read that "Last Letter".

An amazing story, my friend. Truly beautiful and amazing. You have my utmost gratitude for letting me pass some time reading something that wonderful.

After being thrown through spirals of emotion, I come to the end of this with a feeling of utter fulfillment.

Suffice it to say that I could count the stories of this calibre on one hand.

This was no story. The word can only say so much. This was an experience.

Bravo.

I have read a lot of books and various stories during my life. That was probably THE best story I have ever read.

It was a long emotional ride full of introspection and it explored what it truly means to understand someone and still be their friend.

I cried quite a bit.

Thank you very much for the experience!

Manly Tears were most definitely shed

This is so amazing, and a really ending.....

Words can not capture the epicness of this story.

Wow. The whole thing is so, so touching. What else can I possibly say?

This is a stupid question but, how do I favorite stories? I want to fav this one.

>>347255347255

The little star next to the title.

>>347290347290 It is not there

Ok, first of all, my direct numerical rating: 100000/10.

Seriously, the few imperfections it had just made it more perfect-a subject DH touched on in the story itself!

Characters: Although the character choice is logical, he chose the side characters well also:

Celestia:I don't know why I was expecting a Mary sue at the beginning, aside from most alicorns being Mary sues throughout the fandom. Her flaws are both the most horrifying things ever experienced, yet respectable in intent at the same time. She locked away the sun for a thousand years, and even though she was doing it for the safety of Equestria, she was foolish enough to let it go on for a thousand years, and not look for other solutions.

Twilight Sparkle: Twilight has won my heart along side Luna (later) and Celestia through this fan-fiction. She is the most faithful anything ever to exist, and just amazing 99.999999% of the time. The rest of that time though is her flaws, which just add to her character. Her mask is crippling (I will elaborate later) and it nearly causes both her and Celestia's downfall.

Luna:Luna is immature in her own way, where she doesn't help when she knows what is wrong until it is too late. But during her helpfulness, she nearly dies at least twice, and while doing so, is having two of the most epic mind-battles ever. First, she nearly is killed in TS's mind, one of the coolest scenes ever to exist, and then she uses her nightmare to stop Celestia's Nightmare (Greed)

The Sun: Throughout the story, mainly the last few chapters, I went through an emotional roller-coaster with the Sun. Earlier on I started to hate the Sun for what it was doing to Celestia, but I came to respect it for what it had been through, and its revelation.

The Elements: I am grouping the Elements of Harmony together because that is how it was in the story. Though you don't see much of them, you start to love them even more for what they are willing to do for Twilight, Luna, and Celestia.

Spike:Spike. Good ol' GIANT spike. He was the only one who truly understood why Luna and TS did what they did, and he was the best friend both TS and/or Celestia could have asked for. Especially in the epilogue, Spike became a memorable character by any means.

Discord:Him. HIM!!! Through some contemplation, I have come to the conclusion that Discord started it all. First of all, his first battle with Celestia is what forced her foolishness and her forcing of the Eternal Sun, and his near destruction of TS was that last straw to break her back. I hate HIM with every fiber of my being, even though he appeared as one of the smallest characters in the direct story.

Story Line: Holy mother of god this story line is epic. I am not using the overly used "pretty good" epic, I am using the true definition of amazing in every way. I was gripped throughout the story, wondering with a billion questions all throughout, and the best part is: They were all answered! From the (quite literally) perfect wedding for the most logical shipment in the fandom, to the night out with Twilight was purely amazing, and the removal of the masks kept me wanting more from that point on. When Luna was in TS's mind, I was completely confused until the 3rd time around, and I recognized the technique, though I don't remember what it's called. I personally call it the "Ground-hog Effect" when it replays the events and fixes them a bit each time. When Luna was in what I can only assume as Limbo in TS's mind, I was scared for her life, and when she "fixed" Twilight, I jumped for joy-literally. It was kinda loud and I nearly woke everyone up in my house :/. When they reached Celestia for the first time, I was heart-broken at her condition, and as they delved into her mind, Each mini-story was mind-boggling in itself. When Celestia was visualizing herself as Twilight's mother, I could not figure out why Twilight was so mad. When she revealed her mother's mental break-down for fear of being nothing in Twilight's life, I was nearly clinically depressed. And when Twilight figured out Celestia's mind and how each scenario was a mask, I audibly gasped, for I suck at literature-analysis, and I only then realized all that was happening. When I saw what happened between Celestia and the Sun, I was in a rage, but through some of my mediocre analysis, I overcame it, respected Celestia more along with the Sun. Celestia's punishment...seriously, I had like 30 different possible endings, usually involving torture or death, but being sent as a mortal pony? Seriously? That is the most genius plot twist ever conceived, and I jumped in joy at the positive outcomes. In the epilogue, I was crying throughout the entire letter to Twilight, because it was nearly better than MLD's letter to Mr. Dad dude. And the fact that she would never receive it just saddened me. Plain and simple. Though the Twilight Star, The Faithful Student that Dawn looked at, at the end, was the coolest thing, along with Celestia keeping her promise. Truly, this is the best story-line ever conceived in any story. Ever.

Writing Style:This part is definitely hard to write. Writing style? Which one? it seems like there are hundreds depending upon each scene. The part that I was bombarded with the most was the REAL emotional roller coaster. DH knew when to insert comedy, and did so when it was the lest expected and amazing. I literally wen to watery eyes to hysterical laughter at one part. Oh, and that was consecutive sentences. And in the intense parts of the story line he used a much more intense writing style that made you worry and made you leaping to the edge of your seat as it all unfolded. AND that ground-hog effect was amazing.

misc:The Masks:Oh my god, the masks? One of the underlying themes in this story, and one of the coolest in any story I have ever read. The masks were used to symbolize lies and deception to try to keep happiness and peace, and they also show that thorough truthfulness saves friendships and even the most ruined relationships.

Seriously, thank you for this bliss called a story.

I only now realized this is back. A wonderful, wonderful story!

I'm so sad that I finally finished this story. Its so wonderful, but all good things must come to an end. Please, never stop writing amazing things like this.....

Another sleepless night. Watching the sun rise. Words fail me. I can not describe how I feel after reading this...

Thank you for writing this.

ok im going to nick pic here most likely and have some typos just a warning

i noticed that this shows alot of lessons the show displays but hasnt used yet(as far as ive noticed) like not over working or wearing masks from your friends at hte beginning and moves on to not giveing up when times are hard and dont neglect old friends just for the new ones.( i havnt read the story recently so i know i missed alot intentional or unintentional lessons you put in there) also you put twilights charater whith atual twilight (the whole it starts with the sune but moves into night(by that i mean she seems to be better friends with luna than celestia) but alot of peaple fail to do that

then theres the fact you brought the dawn or a name simialiar to that takes over for twilight to keep peaple from becoming to sad which all in all even if you dont realize you did these you are a good writer  and you probly heard this befor so that is all

(by the way do you think this review was more . or

Lifting Shadows Off A Dream - Dream Theater

Stories like this are why I continue to read fanfiction.  You've taken a childrens show and breathed more life into it then I find in most professionally written works.

Someone on youtube said this was better than My Little Dashie. So this must be good. I haven't read it yet, but I'm about too. Hope I don't too much.

4 people disliked this?

I read a lot, fantasy and sci-fi mostly with a side helping of classics.  The very best of what I read manages to convey a lesson.  It teaches, guides and all around aids in the process of becoming a better and more complete person.  This story conveyed a lesson of paramount importance.  It is a masterpiece not merely of fanfiction but of literature.  I cannot offer high enough praise.

Also have a mustached spike. you've earned it.

Thank you.

You are either a demon attempting to lure us into your fantasies, or quite simply the best author I have ever had the pleasure of admiring the work of. Bravo, you really do astound us all.

AND WHO DISLIKED!

Beautiful.

5 Chapters down... 6 more to go... I can't go on.... Not tonight anyways. Device Heretic.... You have defeated me this night. revel whilst thy can, for when i return i shall finish what i haft started this night.  

This is the most amazing story I've ever read, in books, movies, games, I have not seen anything like it. So long, complex, and full of emotion, yet I understood every bit of it, often without having to re-read a paragraph.

As it so often has for the Eternal ponies in this tale, language fails me this day, as I have so much feeling towards this story I want to express but cannot find the adequate words for.

You have my star, my thumbs up, and it pains me to only be able to do this much. Give me something, maybe a pen-name you intend to use someday, so I can buy ten of every book you write.

Now I'm off to read all your other stories! Sleep can come when I'm done!

I loved this, but...

Overall it's beautifully written, but the falling action felt like it dragged on forever. You spend 15-20,000 words wrapping up everyone's lives when the story could have closed at the end of Eternal, pt. 1 and conveyed the same meaning.

So: Thank you for writing this, it was wonderful to read! But next time maybe trim it down a bit and attain perfection?

(It also occurs to me that I may just not be your target audience because I don't normally read pure [sad] stories. For most of the story you had a balance between [sad] and [adventure], but after Twi & Celestia's reconciliation there wasn't any risk to the characters left to keep me engaged in the story.)

I find myself ever surprised at the depth I find in the fan labors I find within this community. I have never before been moves to the brink of tears because of anything someone did off of some other intellectual property. While I am willing not say this a perfect writing. I will say that I wouldn't have wanted it to be. It provoked thoughts, and taught lessons. I do feel better about a current issue in my life having read this. I read all of it in 2 nights. Completely captivated in the scenes of struggle and romance. Romance in the purist since, the poetic sense as it were.

Device, I am truly grateful to you for presenting this to us, to me to read and enjoy. All I want to add... Is that this mask has grown quiet itchy... I think I may take it off for sometime.

>>367622367622

>You spend 15-20,000 words wrapping up everyone's lives when the story could have closed at the end of Eternal, pt. 1 and conveyed the same meaning.

Forgive me for saying so, but I could not disagree with you more about that.

Left unresolved at that point are:

>The consequences for what Celestia did to the Sun.

>What Twilight's dream was, and why it would help her endure everything she did.

>Luna and Celestia's sort of amorphous issues being resolved by Celestia gracefully showing faith in Luna without reservation.

>Twilight and Celestia really sitting down and hashing out their issues, not just overcoming the last emotional barrier.

>Celestia accepting that she made a mistake and whether or not she'd willingly submit to punishment.

>Any agency whatsoever on the part of the Sun, who deserved a shot to do things as much as anyone else.

>The Elements of Harmony having a chance to react to the whole situation.

You seem to have taken Twilight forgiving Celestia for the climax, which is not correct. The climax of this story is the sentence, "'As ready as I'll ever be', Celestia replied."

Everything built to that moment. Every last little thing. I promise.

>>368540368540

But are these outcomes in question past Part 1?

Sun's will to torture Celestia is broken when Twilight forgives her, nothing happens to influence her choice after that except taking the day to think about it.

Celestia's acceptance of her fate is a hollow choice because she's only in a position to choose between making it ugly (and hurting people she cares about with no chance of winning) or going peacefully.

The other threads are important to a full conclusion, but they're wrapping things up rather than building to a climax.

>>370168370168

>Sun's will to torture Celestia is broken when Twilight forgives her

No it isn't...not really. There's a reason she has to think about it for awhile--and moreover, you only know that to be the case because of exposition in the second half.

Look, I won't argue that "Eternal, pt 2" drags a bit, but I think you're missing that this is fundamentally not a story about the action but instead about the character of Celestia, which I had just demonstrated to be somewhat irresponsible in a crisis situation, and the implications of her deep bond with Twilight. Twilight needs to walk Celestia to what is essentially an execution to demonstrate that relationship's deep significance all the way to its end; I think it's reasonable to assume that if Twi hadn't been there for her, Celestia would have tried to get out of it somehow. The payoff for their courage is the happy ending.