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More Stories2

  • E Sparkle's Law

    Twilight slowly loses her mind as preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration go horribly wrong.
    17,765 words · 27,921 views  ·  1,134  ·  16
  • E Twilight Sparkle Gets A Free Salad

    Twilight becomes an action hero to fight for free salads everywhere.
    9,142 words · 11,318 views  ·  1,065  ·  16

Blog Posts25

  • 5w, 5d
    The Alpha-Readers of the Forest (Still Not Fanfiction)

    I'm editing the old blog post because I don't want to spam anyone. I'm just cutting this blog out because the alpha package for my novel has essentially run its course and it makes me uncomfortable to still have it out in the open. Thank you to the people who kindly gave me feedback, and to anyone who read it and didn't bother to contact me: I've stopped loving you and nothing will ever change that.

    3 comments · 343 views
  • 10w, 5d
    The Children of the Forest (Not Fanfiction)

    Firstly, I'm still retired. I feel obliged to let anyone reading this know up front that this blog is not about fanfiction, and that I don't intend to write any more fanfiction. If that's all your interested in, feel free to stop reading here and ignore me—certainly I bear you no ill will for it.

    Second, I've gone through some of the more recent messages in my inbox and answered them as best I could. I have seriously neglected answering my messages this past year, and I hope I haven't offended anyone. If anyone is still waiting on an answer to something, please remind me.

    Now, on to my real motive here. Hopefully some of you will be glad to hear that I've been working away at my own original fiction projects more or less since I stopped writing fanfiction. I'm happy to say that a couple of hours ago I finished the second draft of a novel.

    The second draft was almost a complete rewrite. Perhaps five percent of this draft is actual text from draft one. Now, however, the book has really taken shape, and the third draft will only be some scene rewrites, some fixing of plotholes, etc. After that draft four will be line editing and dialogue rewrites, and then I'll need to put it into the hands of other people.

    That is of course why I'm blogging: to solicit alpha readers for my original fiction. I've been gone a long time, and I have no idea how many people will read this, let alone be interested in doing me a favor for no payback, but I think it's worth a shot. The story in question is approximately seventy thousand words long (the length of the first Harry Potter novel.) It's a fantasy story about a magical princess written for young girls, which probably isn't as much of a turnoff for Bronies as it would be for others. What I'd ask of you is nothing as heavy as going through it line-by-line with comments, but just to read the story and afterwards have a chat with me. You'd tell me what you think, and I'd grill you with questions about what parts you liked most, least, etc.

    Right now I'm just gauging interest. So if you're interested, please, just let me know with a comment (or a PM, if you prefer) and a month or so from now when I'm ready I'll come back with details and hopefully we'll get things rolling.

    50 comments · 363 views
  • 95w, 2d
    The End

    Three times I have considered abandoning The Immortal Game.

    That sounds harsh; it is. At no point in the past sixteen months have I suffered any illusions about who’s in control here. I write this story because I want to, and if I didn’t want to, I could stop. It would be a terrible thing to do to you, the reader, but there it is. That door has always been open to me. Three times I considered going through it.

    Because the truth is that writing long is a pain in the ass. It’s easy to get high off a good idea and write an entire one shot before you crash, but it’s harder to keep up a sustained addiction. Okay, my analogy fell to pieces back there, but you get the idea. When you write long, there are bumps along the way.

    The first time I wanted to bail was shortly after the story was published on Equestria Daily. It barely scraped out a rating of four stars—and now you go “four out of five isn’t bad at all, I don’t see why that would upset him.” The truth is that TIG’s initial rating placed it in the bottom five percent of all fics on Equestria Daily, ever.

    It wasn’t that my expectations weren’t met: in truth I didn’t have expectations. It was just that I had come face to face with TIG’s destiny. I would write out the next eighty thousand words of the story in what even I would admit was pretty mediocre writing, receive a little bit of attention and praise for it, and then move on to maybe write something else. Quitting seemed appealing—what did I have to prove by sticking around?

    “Always finish what you set your hand to,” says Durnik. I’ve known him since I was seven years old.

    I’ve had trouble writing the epilogue. Perhaps that’s an understatement. Never before have I felt so much like I have no idea what I’m doing, like I’m just making shit up as I go along, like I’m a total ameteur playing at epic fantasy the way a child plays at being a knight by wearing a kitchen pot for a helmet. Two months ago I was tearing my fucking hair out trying to figure out how to finish my story, with no ideas in sight.

    The second time I considered leaving the story was for altogether different reasons, and it was around the release of chapter fourteen. I was writing The Power to Destroy and God, and an interesting thought occurred to me: why not just have them, well... win? What if Titan never bats away the Elements of Harmony and instead becomes a statue on Celestia’s lawn? What if Terra gets her head chopped off before she ever gets a chance to be anything but evil?

    I knew that those two chapters I was writing, with the catharsis from Twilight Sparkle’s unification, were going to be the best in the story. I wasn’t going to top the Battle of Canterlot in the third act no matter how high I turned the volume or how much money I blew on special effects. It was all downhill from here, so why not just call it? Sure, the story would be worse overall, but it would end on a high note and I would save months and months of my own time.

    “Always do the very best job you can,” says Durnik. For those of you confused, I’m referencing a character from The Belgariad, a series of novels I read as a boy. And as strange as it sounds, the dialogue surrounding these two lines has always stuck with me.

    I’ll explain why the epilogue has been so hard.

    I can’t make you happy. I don’t know what you want. See, I’ve gone around to almost a dozen people—prereaders, friends who read the story—and I’ve asked them what they think should go in the epilogue. I’ve gotten messages from readers, too, telling me that character X needs to make an appearance and plotline Y needs resolving. I’ve finished three drafts of the epilogue—the cumulative word total between the lot of them is about thirty thousand—and in each case I’ve had a different set of people tell me they’re disappointed at the lack of element Z.

    I could conceivably answer every question that you might have about the events of the story, except then somebody would ask a new question I’d failed to answer. I could write a separate scene from the POV of every major character to give them closure, but that alone is twelve characters and around forty thousand words. I could tie everything up nice and neatly, and the result would be a terrible mess.

    And so the third time I considered leaving my fair lady was about ten weeks ago, when I realized that I can’t make you happy. In a very simple sense, and in my mind, TIG has one plot, and that plot happens in a world with a lot going on. Not every question needs to be answered to resolve that one plot. Not every character needs to have their destiny laid bare. And so I thought: the plot is done, the conflict is over, why bother going on with an epilogue that will fail to meet expectations?

    Ultimately I decided I was being a lazy dick and hitched up my trousers, but that still didn’t help my predicament. I can’t make you happy.

    I’m a little embarrassed that the solution I ended up using took me so long to come to. See, I can make myself happy. I can write what I feel is a balanced ending and leave it at that. And while that might seem simple—it is, after all, how I wrote the rest of the story—believe me when I say I terrorized myself for months over this.

    The purpose of this blog is not to extoll my excellent work ethic—though I’m aware it does that to some extent, which is a little annoying. Instead I want to offer up a bit of explanation as to why it took so long to write, and I wanted to say this:

    I’m glad I didn’t give up writing this story when it was only ten thousand words long: I’m glad I wrote it through to the end. I’ve made friends I hope to keep for decades to come. I’m grateful to twenty thousand people who let me share a story with them. I’ve learned that building a skill takes thousands of hours of practice, and that writing is a hobby I can hold onto for the rest of my life.

    I have a lot to learn.

    74 comments · 2,122 views
  • 103w, 6d

    So this is what I’ve been doing this past month.

    For those of you who don’t know what I’m linking: that’s a graph of my progress over this year’s NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. The objective is to write fifty thousand words in a month, or by midnight on the thirtieth of November. You may notice that I failed to reach the 50K word mark on time. I also noticed this.

    I hate failure. Do you like failure? Probably not. I know I’m not special in this regard, even if I’m special in almost every other way (looks, talent, youth, etc). In addition to that, I absolutely loathe being handed a participation ribbon. I was a participant. I showed up, and then contributed nothing of note.

    So what led me to fail? Why did my course falter? Well, I think it might have been arrogance. I’m generally a humble guy, but I may have crossed the line a little at some points.

    On November first, I’m visiting my parents. My friends encourage me to write what I can on their computer and get a healthy start.

    “NaNoWriMo?” I say. “I’m AestheticB. I could write 1700 word biographies for my NPCs in Dungeons and Dragons. And then they would get six star ratings on Equestria Daily. I don’t need to write. This contest is my bitch.”

    On the fifth, you’ll see that I did write... 500 words. The plan was to ease myself into the story and let it take off later. Upon hearing this, a friend told me I was fucking crazy.

    “Look,” I say with a derisive snort. “I’m AestheticB over here. Writing words is pretty much my super power. I know exactly what I’m doing, and it’s kicking WriMo ass—just as soon as I’m finished refreshing my FimFiction for comments that heap praise upon me.”

    Day 13, I write nothing at all, dedicating my time instead to schoolwork, because even I prioritize sometimes. I’m told that I am ten thousand words behind.

    “Ten thousand words?” I ask aloud despite the fact that I am alone. “That could be a challenge for regular people who don’t own $200 keyboards. I feel sorry for the peasants people who aren’t you know, me, because that also means they aren’t AestheticB, bitches.”

    The schoolwork strikes back on days 21 and 22, but I remain resolute. “Oh, shit,” I say. “I’m over ten thousand words behind, now! If only I were—oh wait, I am AestheticB. I’m going to hit this shit like a thunderstorm gone to war.”

    Day 27 I’m playing XCOM and Ambion gets shot dead by a critical hit. “What the fuck is this?” I say. “Do you have any fucking clue who I am, Muton? I wrote The Immortal Game, you mutant alien shitweasel. You can try to pull that shit when you’re an inspiration to hundreds. Hundreds.”

    This morning I look in the fridge to find out the orange juice I bought that I thought was no pulp does, in fact, have pulp. “Lots of pulp?” I say. “What the fuck is lots of pulp? They should call it 'lots of fucking shit.' I’m Aesthetic-Fucking-B. I don’t take shit from OJ.”

    Then I look online to realize I’m going to fail NaNoWriMo.

    The worst part of it is that if it weren’t in November it wouldn’t be nearly as hard. November is the month of scrambling to get every assignment done for me, and that’s magnified by the fact that I have no reading week in the fall semester. I wrote close to ninety thousand words this June. Forty thousand when I’m trying for it is just pathetic. Really, none of this was my fault. I don’t feel like it was arrogance at all.

    But what am I going to do to console myself? Go read the comments on Sparkle’s Law? I mean, sure, that might make me happy for awhile. Twenty thousand reads is nothing to scoff at, and neither is the vault interview, six star rating, two week feature, etc etc. But as nice as it is to have over a hundred people tell me how talented I am, throwing around words like “The King of Comedy” and “The Best Story I Have Ever Read,” it still won’t change the fact that I failed NaNoWriMo.

    So what am I to do? Sure, I could go check out TIG and bask in the praise of my loving readers, the fanart, recursive fanfiction, music, rave reviews, and a six star rating that defies the traditional constraints of the grimdark tag. As nice as it is to have you peasants tell me I’m the greatest thing ever to happen to English literature, it still doesn’t change the fact that my dedication to quality over quantity led me to fail NaNoWriMo.

    Because the fact is, it’s hard to be AestheticB. I worry that I’m not spending my near-divine level of talent enough, that I’m not inspiring enough people or changing enough lives. Other people only have to worry about surviving though their mundane existence, but I’ve always known I’m more important, destined for something greater. And it really sucks when I fail to meet an arbitrary word quota for reasons that weren’t my fault at all.

    I guess the real lesson to be learned here is that none of you could possibly understand the challenges that I face in life, and certainly none of you could face them yourselves. Really, I pity you for not being able to properly pity me.

    I think we’ve all known somebody like that. Someone who structures every interaction around making themselves feel and seem bigger, carefully looking for every opening they can use to boast in the most humble way they possibly can. It’s the kind of trait that goes hand in hand with being a compulsive liar.

    I don’t actually have a point here, I’ve just been watching a lot of Extras and thought that if there was a twisted version of me, it would be arrogant and pathetic. Publicly, I mean.

    But I did spend this month balls-deep in schoolwork and NaNo, which wasn’t much of a secret considering I mentioned it as often as possible. No, what I was working on wasn't a pony story, and no, you probably won’t get to see any of it for a long time.

    I want to develop my ability to create my own world, characters, and magic systems, and I want to practice long-form editing, so this was a pretty natural course for me to take. I want to get better at writing, and this will build my skills more than anything else I could do.

    But now that November is over that project can be suspended while I focus my efforts on The Immortal Game. I know many of you have been waiting patiently, and I’m very grateful for that. The ending has been a hard thing for me to write, and I don’t want to let you or myself down.

    After that, I think I might like to try another ensemble comedy. We’ll see how that pans out, though—that kind of story is also very hard for me to write. But hey, I love the challenge.

    45 comments · 729 views
  • 104w, 1d
    Team Aesthetic Saves the World

    36 comments · 338 views
  • ...

Long ago, in the magical land of Equestria, there lived a powerful King and his dark Queen. Immortal and ignorant, their end came at the hooves of their daughters, Celestia and Luna, who sought to build a better future for ponykind.

Now ponykind’s old gods have returned.

Twilight Sparkle is trapped inside her own mind, slave to a cruel and impulsive consciousness built from everything she is not. Powerless and voiceless, she must find a way to stop the being that calls itself Nihilus from destroying everything she holds dear.

Luna is tasked with assembling the remaining Elements of Harmony in hopes of freeing their leader. For if ponykind is to have any hope, it is in Twilight Sparkle. And if Twilight Sparkle is to have any hope, it is in her five friends.

Facing her father in mortal combat, Celestia must do everything she can to ensure that ponykind has the tools to survive before she falls. With inevitable defeat bearing down upon her, she makes the first move in the oldest and deadliest game known to creation.

Related Fan Content

Six Star Equestria Daily Feature

First Published
29th Oct 2011
Last Modified
30th Jan 2013

No!  Not Celestia!

#3 · 160w, 3d ago · 11 · · The Beginning ·

Applejack!  One of the most useful ones in the group!  :ajsmug:

You forgot her lasso though...:ajbemused:

hey im really want to get in touch with you....

im not good at art but i have been working on a pic of rarity casting her blade, along with pictures of the pieces of the blade itsself...

not sure what you want but this is how i immagned it

imma scan and vectorize it when im done ok?

just wanted to let you know

so so good

You guys are awesome.

I'll be fixing this up sometime this week so that it's readable on FimFiction and nopony is forced to use the Google Docs.

#7 · 159w, 6d ago · · · The Plan ·

This story just keeps getting better. I'm happy at the thought of 2 more chapters coming soon but at the same time I hope you aren't overworking yourself on this.

#8 · 159w, 6d ago · · · The Plan ·

yea so that name still makes me lol. LATIN FTW

#9 · 159w, 6d ago · · · The Plan ·

ALSO I DONTk know if this isjust me but im expecting at sometime to see pinkie pie to go full out rage pinkamena diana pie on nihilus's ass

#10 · 159w, 4d ago · · · The Plan ·

Amazinging story brony, BROHOOF! /)

#11 · 159w, 3d ago · 3 · 4 · He Has Returned ·

yea i really liked the way you wrote celestia's character in this story. it made her out to be more than just a trolling douche with no intrest in the fate of equestria. and gave her depth that had not existed before this moment

#12 · 159w, 1d ago · 4 · · The Plan ·

I am not sure if I have enough money to buy enough hats to adequately take them off to you about this story. I am awaiting more with baited breath. I am genuinely mad at the one major player we haven't seen yet - Empyrean. How dare he kill Celestia!


i love you

you have officialy made it onto my list of "best back stories" in this case?

you win rarity's spot.


did you get the pic i emailed you?

btw just realised this and had to say it


ITS!!!!  OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ok ill stop now.

ok there is no way i could be a good friend

as i would have tied rd down and had pinkie saw off her wings :pinkiecrazy:

#16 · 158w, 6d ago · 3 · · She's Alive ·

that battle sceen was really funny

some one was laughing when they did that

hm the evil pegasi seem like my oc... :trixieshiftleft: :pinkiegasp:IM EVIL D: :applecry::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch:

This is my new favourite fanfic. It's awesome, and everything I had hoped my own fanfic would be. It's far, far better than I can manage. One small thing though - are you sure you meant 'kueen' and not 'queen'?

The freeing of Twilight from Nihilus came a chapter or two earlier than I expected but these past two chapters were pretty damn awesome.

#20 · 158w, 9h ago · 1 · · She's Alive ·

At first I was like :ajbemused: and then celest died and I was like :twilightangry2: and then RD got mind raped and I was like :fluttercry: BUT NOW IM LIKE :heart::heart::heart::heart::moustache:

This is a great story so far although I cried at the beginning of this chapter:fluttercry:

I like Rarity's power and your take on Luna. Everyone seems to make her perfect, but your characterization shows her as flawed but strong and loving of her sister. Can't wait for more!

me gusta

liked the ending

really looking forward to finding out more about Rar's dad

i love what you did with him

also, do i see another epic battle scene on the horizon? 20000 words of canterlotian distruction? full blown avatar state twilight sparkle and a battle to the death for rar and her dad? with sweety belle coming to the rescue?


or i you have somethin better

just do that



My name is Twilight Sparkle.

You killed my princess.

Prepare to die. :twilightangry2:

Really digging the story, can hardly complain about you making us wait 2 weeks when its been over a month since a couple of my favorite fics updated. Care to give a touch more detail on this upcoming comedy piece? Characters, setting, maybe even a dialogue teaser?

#25 · 157w, 5d ago · 7 · · She's Alive ·

I feel like I just read Pony Ball Z


I don't think I'll give dialogue teaser, just because I honestly have no idea what I'd pick, and it would probably end up being two pages long. I will say that the story centers around the mane six as they prepare for the Summer Sun Celebration once again. Except Fluttershy is missing, so Pinkie decides to play detective as she searches for her. Dash volunteers to tame the birds in place of Fluttershy, and Applejack is dealing with a bit of an identity crisis. Hopefully it will be funny, but it's hard to tell when I don't have an audience to gauge. If nothing else, it's a nice short break from Grimdark, and I'm doing something new.

Hey AB. You sir are awesome. Out of all the fanfics I have read, yours is the only one that I absolutely recommend to any brony. I might just be some line of words on the screen, but this is the only fanfic which I take seriously. I love how you write fight scenes, I adore how you can set the mood that all hope is lost, only to grab me and tell me it's alright. If this was youtube, I would subscribe to your channel, favorite it, even make it my home page. Keep writing.

PS. I'm excited to see you trying something new. Can't wait for the first chapter.


I love how you portrayed Celestia as quite the chess master here.

Anyway, I am really loving this so far and I can't  wait to see what happens next.

TO THE NEXT CHAPTER! :flutterrage:

I first thought that Nihilus was going to turn Dash into something like her self, an anti-Dash, so to speak, but this is worse... :applecry:


Sweet Celestia's mane.... Rarity has taken about 9001 levels in absolute badass. the whole chapter had me almost literally on the edge of my computer chair with the epicness... I cannot express how much i am loving this story so far, definitely going on my list of my most favorite fanfics of all time


Still loving this story, and now I have an urge to make some fanart of Rarity wielding her blade.

......................................never mess with fluttershy 'nuff said

or pinkie for that matter...

or any of the mane 6

after the what Flutter said to Nyx, i kinda want to give her a hug, except i know that Nyx would probably kill me first


:fluttercry: For a little while I thought you actually killed Fluttershy and then, when Pinkie was beating the ever loving crap out of Wrong!Dashie I was listening to a song called All tomorrow's parties by Johnette Napolitano and I felt it kinda fit with the scene

and then the whole chapter got 20% Cooler and my mind just exploded

It's probably getting a bit redundant on saying how much I love this fic, but I do. I love how you portray everypony, it's believable and powerful and I can easily picture everything that's going on and it leaves me wanting more. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

Also, I've added this to TV Tropes' FiM Fanfic recommendations page. I hope you don't mind :twilightsmile:

#35 · 156w, 4d ago · 5 · · She's Alive ·

twilight never got to say "Generosity!"

1/5 stars.

I kid I kid...

This shit is cash! I'm so glad I read this after reading your comedy piece.

I love this story and realize you probably don't care, but I noticed a little something. While you are an amazing writer, there seems to be one convention you are unfamiliar with. When someone is speaking and a paragraph ends, yet they continue speaking in the next one, there is no need for a closing quotation mark. For example, this passage:

“-Not Princess Luna, Princess Celestia,” Rarity corrected, leaning in and whispering in a conspiratorial tone, her grudge seemingly forgotten. “In the middle of her throne room, while she was holding court. They failed, obviously. In any case, her assailant wore a grey cloak, and wearing the color has become a major faux pas. The entire aristocracy has to reorder their summer wardrobe.”

“Celestia had the entire thing under control in moments, of course,” Rarity continued, “Though I have heard rumors- and these are totally unvalidated, mind you- that in order to catch all the culprits she used mind magic on her assailant.”

Would become:

“-Not Princess Luna, Princess Celestia,” Rarity corrected, leaning in and whispering in a conspiratorial tone, her grudge seemingly forgotten. “In the middle of her throne room, while she was holding court. They failed, obviously. In any case, her assailant wore a grey cloak, and wearing the color has become a major faux pas. The entire aristocracy has to reorder their summer wardrobe.

“Celestia had the entire thing under control in moments, of course,” Rarity continued, “Though I have heard rumors- and these are totally unvalidated, mind you- that in order to catch all the culprits she used mind magic on her assailant.”

This is a minor thing, but I thought you might want to know. Anyway, I really love the story, keep up the good work.



I do care. I absolutely care. This isn't even something I'm doing that could be construed as right or that anyone could have a disagreement about. This is objectively wrong. A friend of mine has been on my ass about this lately, too.

That said, I probably won't do an editing run over the earlier chapters specifically to knock out the hanging quotes. It's just way to much effort for something I see as relatively small. If I ever need to do an editing run over them in the future (Dear Celestia I hope not, I've been over parts 1-3 exactly six times each,) I'll be sure to take them out. For now, though, My new chapters will just do things right.

What? I can be lazy if I want. I'm the boss. I'm allowed.:trollestia:

I don't understand where the new chapter is, it hurts my head, and makes me sad :raritydespair:


It's coming. I'm actually two chapters ahead of the published fic. I just want to release the best Ponies Make War that I can, which means making everypony wait longer than I anticipated. I'd rather break my word and seem like a bad pony than release a chapter that isn't up to my standards (which grow higher every day.) I fully intend to once again settle into a regular release schedule again after part 9.

Why Can't I rate YOU 5 stars :fluttershysad:

Heh...I really liked the part where Rainbow goes through weirrdd shit as Nihlus pet...kinda horrifying yet intriguing prospect




Great chapter btw. Really feelin steam-punk pinkie and super commander Twilight

Rarity is a boss as always.

Dash.... not a fan (not your writing just don't like her personality) but like what you did.

Fluttershy? well kinda hoping you make her like a chemastry boss and have her make bombs and other flash-based weapons.


Well... that was entirely worth the wait.

My brain's still processing the sheer amount of awesome it just imbibed, so I'll just go ahead and echo the sentiments of the first comment for now. :derpytongue2:

I just about squeed when the new chapter notice popped up!:rainbowkiss:

The amazingness of this story is too amazing for words and as always, I can't wait until the next chapter :twilightsheepish:

NAME DROP!!!!!!!!


another amazing chapter, and I am literally bracing for the 14th cause I can see foreshadow in the next chapter's title!!!


Truly there can be no one to match your skill at writing.

:rainbowkiss: Bravo sir. Bravo. You're writing has once again pulled me away from studying. That is no small feat I assure you. :twistnerd:

My computer was unable to handle the awesome of this story and literally BSOD'd for the first time ever (had this for 2 1/2 years now) half way through this chapter. I hope you are happy. :fluttercry:

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