Oh man that ending, my sides hurt! Truly a fantastic story, every bit as good as I was anticipating. Looking forward to your next one!

awww man its finished well it was a good story overall!

That wasn't just dodging a bullet. That was MATRIX dodging a bullet.

From the mouths of babes. Lol.

Ahahahahahah that ending my sides hurt ahahahahaha. And scootaloo (or which ever crusader it was) i agree adults are weird :T especially when it comes to sex but whatever

The fact that Sweetie Belle knew what was going on the whole time made the ending ten times better!

I'm liking this. Please continue...

dat ending! mclovin approved.

That's brilliant!!

And I guess it turned out to be two in the pink and one in the stink!

"That's not just it, though. It felt like they were trying to get me out of the house as fast as possible."
"Why in tarnation would they do that?"
Without hesitation, the unicorn blurts, "I think they wanted to get back to having sex."
Applejack stops dead in her tracks, her jaw suddenly on the floor. "What?!"
"Is that all?"
"Sheesh, adults are weird."

BEST ENDING EVER

10 out of 10 Ahahahahahah love this story

11 of 10 stars.

Now I almost want a sequel just exploring more of the life of our human, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie's relationship. This was great. Hope to see even more if the author is up for it and not burned out.

Great ending! but wait isnt Spike interested into Sweetie Belle???? and does that mean that Spike is the reason she knows about it!?!?

Wow I can't believe Sweetie was smarter than she looks anyway and got away with them trying to hide the fact that they HAD sex from her. It just makes the whole thing funny. I wonder if AJ will tell on Sweetie that she knew what the three were doing in the first place.

The birds and the bees makes the all knowing one pleased.
The ending seemed to fit the moment just right if ya catch my drift...
Nice read.

That ending reminds me of the fact that I have known about sex since I was 5...
What the fuck is wrong with me?

Well written and fun to read.

Good job.

3072861
Hm, I didn't even notice the errors you've pointed out. Oops! Guess not having a proofreader doesn't help matters. I'll...go ahead and fix the stuff now. Glad you're liking the story so far.

I very much hope that you'll eventually continue this plotline in another story. Logically, Applejack would be next to join the circle. I can see the makings of the first chapter now...

Applejack: Are ya out of yer buckin' minds?! Sweetie Belle just told me that she walked in on ya'll doing the nasty!

Rarity/Anon/Pinkie: Wait, Applejack, calm down, calm down! It's not what you think. I mean, It's true that we had been having sex before she walked in, but everything's fine. We were able to get her to leave before she suspected anything. She thinks that we got all messy from a freak baking accident. No harm done.

Applejack: Her exact words were "It felt like they were trying to get me out of the house as fast as possible. I think they wanted to get back to having sex."

Rarity/Anon/Pinkie: ...Shit.

3081487 In that example, Applejack sounds a bit... prudish. It sounds more like she'd be turned OFF at the idea, due to the notion of having to deal with her younger sister at some point in terms of explaining things.

Though I'll give you that she would logically be the next in "line", or perhaps Rainbow Dash, given her penchant for mischief, pranks, and gossip, and maybe she'd hear something from Sweetie Belle when asking where Scootaloo might be. It's an interesting notion, going the route of the "harem herd"...

3084755
AJ being prudish at first is definitely the way to go. We've had two stories so far where the love interests are pretty much totally comfortable with intimate relations, so it'd only make sense to mix it up with somepony who isn't.

Things could start off with Applejack being disapproving of Rarity/Anon/Pinkie's overly intimate lifestyle by playing the "Traditional Apple Family Values" card (plus, the irresponsibility of them getting caught in the act by a child certainly wouldn't help matters). After a while, it could be revealed that AJ is mad at them partly out of jealousy and frustration, as she's often wondered what it'd be like to be one of those other ponies whose sex lives aren't limited by family values. And thus with the knowledge of Rarity/Anon/Pinkie's debaucherous yet happy relationship weighing on her mind, she'll start wondering again...

3089988
Corey isn't so much a reference to anything in particular as it is to the profession. Corey is a...choreographer. I'll go find that youtube clip from one of the Naked Gun movies (I forget which) where the audience chain facepalms for you.

3090370 Damn. I honestly thought it was, like, a reference to some dance-related movie like Footloose or something. "Corey" Just didn't sound right since you described them as a stallion, so logically his name should be actual, well, words! I mean, "Corey" is great for a human, but for a pony, it doesn't make much sense.

Also, quick note: For responding to comments that are in a specific chapter (the ones I've been posting), if you want the commenter to receive a notification of your reply, you need to go TO the chapter that their comment is on and reply at that chapter of the story. I actually haven't been receiving these notifications since you've been responding on the "main story page" (to which FIMfiction only sends a notification if the comment you're responding to is made on the most recent chapter), but yeah, there's a bit of a heads-up for 'ya.

I've only been knowing that you've been sending me responses because I'd check the main page every so often.

3091614
Ah yes, derp. Site's been acting kind of weird for a couple weeks. I think they did some kind of update with notifications. I know there were times before I could just reply from the main list of comments and it'd go through. I, for one, do not particularly like the resulting changes, but eh, what can I do?

Alright, the final chapter. It’s about time to wrap this up… and what better way then with a little sensual foodplay?

… “the whip cream” – ‘whip’ should be ‘whipped’.
… “as a bit of remaining cream tickles.” – What? The CREAM tickles? Did you mean ‘lingers’? They don’t seem even close to one another in terms of spelling, but… ‘tickles’ doesn’t sound right to describe the whipped cream.
… “can of whip cream” – Again, ‘whip’ should be ‘whipped’.
… “your shoulders and squeals and giggles” – ‘and squeals and giggles’ sounds a bit repetitive due to using ‘and’ twice, so close to one another. Replace ‘shoulders and squeals and giggles’ with ‘shoulders, squealing and giggling’.
… “the cannister” – ‘cannister’ should be ‘canister’.
… “of chocolate, another mess” – The comma should be a semicolon.
… “hot her pussy was astounding” – Place ‘felt’ between ‘pussy’ and ‘was’.
… “it's long before” – Place ‘not’ between ‘it’s’ and ‘long’.
… “again some time?” – ‘some’ and ‘time’ should be one word: ‘sometime’.

First of all, I gotta say: amazing job with this one. I’m glad I got to read this story, because despite it being relatively short and sweet, it had some interesting things to offer. The chapter-segmentation all served a purpose, yet the story remained flowing at a consistent pace. Unlike “Sweat”, this was a chapter-story, so I felt the need to address that particular aspect of the story.

For the chapter itself, the characters remained logically driven and interesting. I admire your attention to past-details, such as alcohol making things still quite a bit difficult and having that come into play several times. That said, “doggy-style” was a generally bad idea after so many glasses of wine, since that would likely result in sickness from so much moving back and forth. Not to mention focusing on Rarity AND Pinkie, yet able to satisfy both despite being so prominently drunk.

Things like the syrup being sticky, cleaning up after things occurred, the need for a shower, etc., were all used in interesting ways that actually advanced the story without feeling unnaturally implemented. Like, “Yeah, she DOES still have syrup on her…” Or “Well okay, the protagonist IS drunk…”, etc. That said, I certainly wasn’t expecting how the sex ended (pre clean-up), but as a massive fan of that particular “style”, I approve.

Pinkie helped really push this along, but I was sort of expecting a bit more of her being “thankful”, considering how she was hoping for so much with Last Call, happy that we’d brought her along, happy that we even gave her some cake. Instead, she seemed to be seeking her desires to be fulfilled rather often, at least, more than I would’ve expected.

Also, for the “excuse”, I thought the cake-idea should’ve been removed. Well… more like “swapped” for something else… like Pie.

“We were… Baking! A… A Pie!”
“You were baking a pie? What type of pie was it?”
“U-Umm… it was…”
(voicing her thoughts) “Creampie…”
“WHAT!?”
“You made a cream pie?”
“N-NO! I-I mean, yes, I-I mean… umm…”
“W-What do you think?” *smiles awkwardly*
“Looks more like a mess to me…”

And that said, I was sort of expecting Scootaloo or Apple Bloom to mention how “They’re not even in our class!” before having Sweetie Belle state “Yeah, can I borrow some of your notes so I can make my own report? They’ll probably make a bigger mess of it than they made in their kitchen…” I mean, with the way Rarity or the protagonist would probably write, it’d sound more advanced than whatever a filly might produce, in any case…

It felt incomplete, but that’s probably because of how you chose to end it, so I don’t mind that. The physical descriptions and attention to details, as well as past events coming back in one way or another, making this enjoyable to read through-and-through. I had fun with this, and certainly hope this series continues.

The wait will irritate me, yes, but the fact of the matter is, if the cost of improved quality is simply time… I’m willing to certainly wait just to see you continue to produce works of this caliber. Amazing job, and I sure hope to see more.

"Oh. Okay." She stares at you again. "Why aren't you wearing any clothes?"
Oh God, she had to ask that. Come on, come on, think!
"Uh...why aren't you?"
...You're an idiot.

Best line ever!!!

Last 5 lines just made my jaw drop! Hilarious!

"Oh. Okay." She stares at you again. "Why aren't you wearing any clothes?"
Oh God, she had to ask that. Come on, come on, think!
"Uh...why aren't you?"
...You're an idiot.

http://youtu.be/FxChP7oux1E?t=6m23s

"Oh. Okay." She stares at you again. "Why aren't you wearing any clothes?"
Oh God, she had to ask that. Come on, come on, think!
"Uh...why aren't you?"

...You're alright, Griffin.

WOnderful end to a wonderful story

sequel please?

lovely story. very good sequel

can i has some mor' story please?

I'm a little late, I would imagine, but I would just like to say that this is by far my favorite fan fic. And I'm not really a huge fan of clop fics. The story was great, the development was great, and asside from other stories, the clop was great. It all felt realistic, as if the charater actually was me. I loved this one, and I'd hate to ask, but will there be a continuation? Just one more part to wrap things up? I love the whole first person view thing you did here, and I would love to see the same exact type of thing in another story. Specially a continuation to this, but hey, you're the author! Just wanted to tell you how much I love this story.

4705708 Hey man, thanks for the kind words! As far as continuing things, I have a couple ideas (that would be happening side by side as two different stories) yet I'd have to approach them a bit more carefully than this one so they don't come off as ridiculous or what not. Though I honestly thought when I was getting this one sorted out that Rarity getting a bit hammered and sharing her man, even with a super close friend like Pinkie, would be a bit unlike her, but as the faves and thumbs seem to indicate, people enjoyed it, so...yeah!

I will admit that my initial idea for getting the next pair of stories going will probably seem like it's a tired trope, but then again, what all is terribly original anymore? Heck, even the 'get drunk on a date and go to bed with the girl(s)' has been done a million times too, right? As long as it doesn't look like it's written by a five-year-old and the characterization is good, people may very well like it.

Adults are weird? Pfft, Pleaaase, you'll get addicted to it one day CMC, perhaps you guys will be like 3 way lesbians, or foursome with a colt/man/whatever.

No one will ever know that I read this, or that it is one of my favorite stories on the website.
MegaEmailman... AWAY!!!!!!

5136008 Your secret is safe with me.

woo just recommended this fic set to whatmustido. the great author of Diaries of a Madman

hahahah i love it man

This was a great follow-up to 'Sweat'. I hope you plan another smexy mature title in the future. Well done!

I....COMPLETLY.....bucking lost it at the end.

Don't read the rest of this if you havnt read the story first!

Spoiler didn't work for me...

Yea...

I definatly didn't see it CUMing when sweety bell said that at the end.
And the part with the cream pie thing? HULARIOUS! This was bucking perfect and hularious at the same time lol.
I also felt the need to make a cum joke...... Haha
Also I was like 635 yaaaay

Uhh..... why am I so intelligent?
I always predict the end and storyline of fucking everything!

That last joke, I saw it comming.
Any mlp episode! I knew that tirek will betray discord after he gives him his necklace wich dicord will give twilight and thats going to be the last key. I knew they won't simply defeat starlight glimmer and she will escape.
I even saw what was going to happen in death note all the time....

Still a very good story

Holy fuck, that ending XD
hahahaha! Oh man, they're smrter then peeps give them credit for XD

Nice job man, nice job.
A good story! :D

Top kek

Let's just hope this is as good as the original

"Sheesh, adults are weird."

YES!....yes, all adults are weird as you will be one day sweetie!

DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!
MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

This was fairly alright (though I preferred the first story). It left itself rather open for a follow-up that never came to pass though.

6953000
A bit late (like, over a year late it seems), but I'm guessing you didn't get the reference?

https://youtu.be/Wmrwj6DDt-4?t=80