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  • 20w, 6d
    People, places and things in Under The Northern Lights - use when needed

    Under The Northern Lights: Dramatis Personae and Lexicon

    Equestrians

    Dr Arnica (earth pony, male): A physician who came with the Equestrian yeomanry to help Tarandroland.

    Dark Clouds (pegasus, male): One of Luna’s Moon Guards.

    “Dunce Cap” (unicorn, female): A diplomat with little understanding of things. Not her real name, but a nickname Luna gave her.

    Lord Eminence (unicorn, male): A member of the delegation with imprecise duties, later revealed to be a spy. Engaged in a rather foolish plot that ignored the natural talents of the reindeer, and hence… decommissioned. Cutie mark: a veil, special talent: invisibility.

    “Eponymous Moniker” (unicorn, male): A diplomat with a concealed cutie mark. Not his real name, but a nickname Luna gave him.

    “Implausible Celery” (unicorn, male): A diplomat with a weird cutie mark. Not his real name, but a nickname Luna gave him.

    Milky Way (unicorn, female): One of Luna’s Moon Guards.

    Misty Wisp (unicorn, male): One of Luna’s Moon Guards.

    Oak Wreath (unicorn, male): The leader of the delegation, doing the best of a difficult situation. Interested in military history. Cutie mark: an oak wreath, special talents: warfare.

    Powerpoint (unicorn, female): An illusionist with the task of projecting images to illustrate what others talk about. That’s her special talent, of course. Her cutie mark is a sun ray.

    Raspberry (cattle, female): Colonel in the Equestrian army, specifically the yeomanry.

    Shadows Gather (pegasus, male): One of Luna’s Moon Guards.

    Sunny Side Up (unicorn, female): An alias/disguise used by Celestia.

    The Tarandrian Court

    Galderhorn the Sorcerer (reindeer, male): One of Ukko’s Companions. The court spirit-talker, Galderhorn is a rather quiet and timid for a reindeer warrior. Kol says he “cares for every living thing”.

    Heikki the Humongous (reindeer, male): One of Ukko’s Companions. Admiral of the fleet. A jolly fellow who loves food, drink and violent action. As his name suggests, heavily overweight. Goes berserk in combat.

    Kol the Singer (reindeer, male): One of Ukko’s Companions. A melodramatic bard, he handles the court’s relationship to the media. Skilled with a lariat, a traditional reindeer weapon. His Sight lets him see “what other see”, borrowing the Special Sight of another reindeer present as well as seeing normally through others’ eyes, or just understanding their perspective.

    Lif (reindeer, female): A maid in the royal castle.

    Princess Ljufa (reindeer, female): The only daughter of King Ukko. Rather meek and afraid of conflict because she is Ukko’s daughter. Her Sight lets her see “evil” within people - and hence, “good”, which also lets her spot lies.

    Mustikka the Tracker (reindeer, male): One of Ukko’s Companions. The closest Tarandroland has to a supreme chief of police (and security). Suspicious-minded, details-obsessed and without much social graces, Mustikka’s Sight gives him super-cervine tracking abilities, hence his moniker.

    Peivas (reindeer, male): Ljufa’s husband and Vigg’s father, deceased. A famous warrior, he and his warriors froze to death in a blizzard.

    Saiva (reindeer, female): A maid in the royal castle. Twilight Sparkle learnt Poatsi by using a magical ritual to copy her knowledge of it, which scared her.

    Skiold the Bold: One of Ukko’s Companions. The King’s bodyguard and leader of the army (a job he often ignores out of boredom). One of his forelegs is a nidhogg bone prosthetic, since he lost the original defending Ukko.

    King Ukko the Piercer (reindeer, male): Surly and drunken monarch. In his youth a famous adventurer together with his five Companions. Reputedly Sees the weakness in things.

    Prince Vigg (reindeer, male): The teenage (only) son of Princess Ljufa, chosen as an heir by King Ukko. Like winter sports and Equestrian comic books. Dislikes the press, court life and adults not taking him seriously. Shares his mother’s Sight, which embarasses him. Was temporary an item with Saga. Has been proclaimed a “champion” by Celestia.

    Other Tarandrians, Reindeer or Not

    Alva and Tuva (reindeer, female): Daughters of Vidar, tough Grazer does. Skilled with spear, axe and lariat. Chew tobacco. Older than Vigg and Saga, but still young.

    Mr Bileam (donkey, male): Secretary and accountant to Paki Saada.

    Mother Disa (reindeer, female): Physician and priestess in the cult of Skinfaxi.

    Eira (reindeer, female): High (and only) Priestess of the temple of Hrimfaxi. Keeper of odd lore and used to a distinct lack of funds. Her Sight lets her see sideways and far away, but she is going blind and it is increasingly erratic, so she more and more uses her old black-and-white TV and common sense to make predictions.

    Honung and Blida (reindeer, female): Two dancing does (and possibly sometimes more, as their boss sent them to ‘entertain’ Twilight Sparkle) at Klubb Niffelhel.

    Jarnsaxa (skoll, female): A leader of the Skoll guardians living by the Everfrost Glacier.

    Kvalhissir (moose, male): A moose farmer that saved Spike, Vigg and Saga from an unnatural horde of nidhoggs. His home and farm (a lake - moose grow food in tarns) got destroyed in the process, and he got a job as a gardener in the temple of Hrimfaxi. Despite being a “monster” in reindeer eyes, he’s tolerated in his new position because it’s perfectly natural for a troll being a servant of Hrimfaxi. (Reveals from the writer: Kvalhissir is my favorite character, despite not doing much. He’s one of the reasons I wrote the fic, so I could have a side character like him. Now you know.)

    Paki Saada (zebra, male): Coffee-trader, consul to Sarvvik for the ruler of the zebras and a dabbler in zebra magics. The only zebra living permanently in Tarandroland, he can be a bit lonely. Cutie mark: an eye, special talent: observation.

    Pine-cones (earth-pony, male): The Equestrian consul to Sarvvik.

    Revered Ancestress (moose, female): An ancient moose cow who serves as a leader of her people. Cynical and casual, she helped Saga and Vigg with finding the Sampo because it amused her.

    Saga (reindeer, female): Temple-fawn at the temple of Skinfaxi, with a strange taste in fashion. Likes macabre things. Her Sight lets her see things that are possible, but doesn’t say if they are probable, but it works as precognition when you have nothing better. Was temporary an item with Vigg.

    Sax (earth pony, male): An expert Russ tailor who helped modify a Moon Guard suit so it fit Twilight.

    Jarl Vidar (reindeer, male): A Grazer (nomad) “chieftain” (Grazers are rather democratic). Prince Vigg’s (paternal) uncle, father to Alva and Tuva (and several unseen deer). A rather down-to earth guy concerned about the fight against Winter. His Sight is so far a secret.

    The Pretender and his Forces

    Jarl Ahto (reindeer, male): Former admiral of the Tarandrian fleet and son of the king preceding Ukko, he had expected to become the next king. When he didn’t, he became the leader of an uprising. Full of himself but cares for his followers.

    Captain Crimson Coat (pegasus, female): Commander of the Crimson Kraken, a pirate vessel allied to the pretender’s forces. She helped them when raiding Equestria. Her real name is Sudden Gale, and she’s an Equestrian criminal, former member of the Equestrian navy.

    “Chancellor Puddin’head” (donkey, male): One of the pirates of the Crimson Kraken. Gives Twilight some assistance. Not his real name, obviously, but a joke.

    Gerda (griffon, female): One of the pirates of the Crimson Kraken.

    Guthrun (reindeer, female): Ahto’s seer and sister. Her Sight lets her read emotions.

    Hailstone (pegasus, male): One of the pirates of the Crimson Kraken. Had an unfortunate accident with Mr Motelele’s magic.

    Hakon (reindeer, male): Ahto’s second-in-command and possible lover.

    Jorge (peryton, male): One of the pirates of the Crimson Kraken.

    Mr Moccus (megasus, male): A megasus (winged pig) and first mate on the Crimson Kraken. He has been that a long time. Captains come and go, but the first mate remains.

    Mr Motelele (giraffe, male): The navigator, outlook and ship’s sorcerer of the Crimson Kraken. less powerful than he thinks, he is paranoid and refuses to sleep. Hence, he is always drugged to keep himself awake with alchemically enhanced coffee.

    Strange Creatures of Forest, Fields and Fjell

    Draugr: The walking dead; an undead corpse still moving around. General description for various forms of monster, including the holdraugr.

    Holdraugr: Draugr created when a hraesvalg animates a corpse by possessing it.

    Hraesvalg: Spirits of the winter wind, looking like a mix between an eagle and a maggot. They can possess corpses which lets them animate them at the same time as they can slowly devour the meat from within and turn it into spirit matter.

    Mokkurkalfe: A living ice statue created from a slain tursakalf, special mud and the heart of an enemy. The creation rites are a secret of the temple of Hrimfaxi. Wiglek has a gigantic mokkurkalfe named Svipp.

    Nidhoggs: Giant, blind wyrms who can breathe out super-cold air. They live by deep-freezing wood and eating it.

    Ratatosks: Spirits of gossip and curiosity which look like many-limbed squirrels with a multitude of ears, eyes and mouths.

    Skolls: Semi-humanoid wolf-people who live in the high mountains. They fight actively for Winter every year. Skolls can drain things of heat by way of their mouths and dig through snow and ice quickly.

    Stalu (also stalo, stallo): “Trolls” which live in the forests of Tarandroland. Feared and hunted by reindeer warriors. In reality, moose who hide from reindeer genocidal efforts. They have earth-magic talents, the most obvious one is the ability to repel the earth and run through the air, which they use to avoid leaving tracks.

    Tursakalf: An “ice elemental”, a huge living block of ice that moves like a big, twirling top over the landscape.

    Turso: Aquatic hydras whose breath is both poisonous and, somehow, create diseases.

    Historical and mythical characters and things

    King Aslak (reindeer, male) A great ruler of Tarandroland in Sampo’s days, and his uncle. Somehow barren. In the Equestrian comic-book, he is made into Sampo’s father.

    Bjorn-Edda: The moose name for Karhu-Akka.

    Dagbränna: The Skoll name for Celestia.

    Daggmule: The moose name for Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon.

    Grotte: The moose name for Sampo.

    Hrimfaxi: The reindeer name for Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon.

    Illvilja: The Skoll name for Discord.

    The Jökelgast: The Skoll name for Wiglek the Wicked.

    Karhu-Akka: A primordial water being who Luna and Celestia call their ‘aunt’ for lack of a better name. Karhu-Akka took part in the creation or at least ordering of the world, and somehow gave wits and voice to reindeer, moose and Skoll. She sleeps in the form of the Everfrost Glacier. Too much magic near her could wake her up, which would cause a disaster of worldwide proportions.

    Moon Well: A deep well used to drown victims in during the full moon, so they were “sent to the moon” as a sacrifice to Luna. Not used for a very long time, they still makes Luna understandably furious.

    Nattmara: The Skoll name for Nightmare Moon/Princess Luna.

    Nattspegel: Night Mirror’s name in the Skoll tongue.

    Niffelhel: The reindeer name for Tartaros. (Which is a prison for ancient monsters and threats, not a place of punishment for dead souls, like stereotypical Hell.)

    Night Mirror (pegasus, female): A follower of Nightmare Moon who acted as missionary/ambassador to the Skoll.

    Sampo: A mystical artefact created by ancient beings in antediluvian times to help make the world by moving things from one place to another. It was cursed by Discord, as a prank, so it tends to steal things and otherwise mess up using it. Wiglek found it and his son (who is named after it, or the other way around) used it to end a famine, but brought on a war. Usually said to be a mill, but that is presumed to be a metaphor or something like that.

    Sampo (reindeer, male): Ancient hero, named after the cursed artefact he found (or maybe the other way around…) and used to stop a famine.The subject of a rather incorrect Equestrian super-hero comic, Sampo the Warrior-Prince.

    Skinfaxi: The reindeer name for Celestia.

    Summer Lands: The Afterlife. Not necessarily “Heaven”; it’s a destination, not a reward.

    Wiglek the Wicked (reindeer, male): Father of Sampo, brother of Aslak. An infamous sorcerer and general bad guy, who made pacts with powerful beings for magic. Recently revealed to have been a henchstag to Nightmare Moon, who cursed/blessed him so he became an undead being after death. Created the Hrimfaxi cult. His Sight lets him see the heavenly bodies and their energies regardless of where he is and of the light conditions. In the Equestrian comic-book, he is made into Sampo’s uncle.

    Äitsi: The reindeer name for Discord.

    Places, beings and things mentioned

    Ackja: Pulled sleigh used by reindeer. (Named after a real-life Sami vehicle).

    Ancient Cervine: Root language of all deer tongues, nowadays mostly used by academics. The language of the “trolls” (moose) of Tarandroland is strangely similar.

    Castle Muorra: The royal castle of Sarvvik, huge blocky log buildings within low walls of coarse stone.

    Everfrost Glacier (Joukulvakt in Poatsi): The world’s largest glacier, situated in northernmost Tarandroland.

    Glennborg: The third largest city in Tarandroland, yet a small provincial town to Equestrians. (To a Swede, "Glenn" is the stereotypical name of a stereotypical male Gothenburger.)

    Hestaland: What Equestria is called in Poatsi. A “Hestalander” is an Equestrian or any pony.

    Kask: Coffee mixed with vodka, bringing the two favorites of reindeer together. (An actual Swedish tradition. Here’s one recipe: pour yourself some vodka in a cup. Add a copper coin. Now add coffee until the coin is invisible. Add sugar according to taste but no milk. Drink, don’t drive or write fanfic.)

    Nagoonberry: Delicious berry used for preserves and liquers. (They exist in reality - in Sweden we call them åkerbär, and, yes, they are a delicacy.)

    Poatsi: The language used by the reindeer of Tarandroland. Written with runes. Very similar to a language spoken by the caribou of northern Equestria.

    Russ or Russers: Small breed of Earth Pony from the Russer Islands, which belong to Equestria. Many emigrated to Tarandroland long ago. (Named after the Gotland Russ pony IRL)

    Sarvvik: The capital of Tarandroland. The name means something like “stag bay”.

    Tarandrian Jay: A small brown bird of the crow family, considered an evil omen, but sacred to Hrimfaxi. (In the real life they are called the Siberian Jay - here in Sweden we say lavskrika or guoksik in the local parlance. They are, indeed, seen as an ill omen, sort of like a black cat, by some people.)

    Tarandroland (Poatsula in Poatsi): A country situated on and covering most of an island far to the northeast of Equestria. Dominated by reindeer, but also home to Russers (dimunitive Earth ponies), Urox (aurochs), Stalo (moose) and Skoll (wolf-people), all whom are the subject to or the enemies of the reindeer.

    Trotholm: The second biggest city in Tarandroland yet still a small town as far as Equestrians are concerned. Has a big Russ population. (Some Swedish bronies jokingly refer to Stockholm as Trotholm…)

    Urox: Aurochs, who live as second-class citizens in Tarandroland, mostly as serf farmers. Their numbers and power is dwindling. Many cattle in Equestria are descended from Urox emigrants looking for a better life. Their cultural weapons include, strangely enough, back-mounted flamethrowers and spiked armor.

    16 comments · 227 views
  • 74w, 3d
    Stuff excised from next chapter

    I realised I spent far too much time on a side story and adding yet more characters not needed for the actual story. I present this snippet here instead. (I did have a side story idea for 4th Squad, 4th Platoon, 2nd Company of the Barnyarders but it will probably never be written.)

    The pig sauntered into the camp, removed his snoutguard, tossed it into his tent and trotted through the frozen dirty mush over to the fire. The snow fell steadily, snowflakes melting and evaporating against his thick dirty jacket, his breath forming small puffs of steam as he hummed to himself. He dug out a dirty bowl from under one of the logs surrounding it and scooped up some of the slop which simmered in the pot on the firel. He then lay down by the log and started eating noisily, ignoring the other soldiers present. When he was done, he licked his face, sat up and took off his woolen cap. The pig pulled a smoky glass bottle from under the same log and poured a generous amount into his bowl. Then he spoke up to the gathered ungulates.

    “Any of you hooves heard the latest Blueblood?” he oinked happily.

    His comrades looked at him with tired muzzles. There was a cow lying down opposite him, dressed in standard issue grey woolen jacket, a red blanket and a Stetson hat which gathered snowflakes on the brim. She was ruminating her Equestrian Yeomanry Standard Fare from the pot, mixed with a generous helping of black market hay. A green-jacketed ewe sat to the right of him, grimacing at the taste as she put down her coffee cup. She was looking disparagingly at a clipboard which she tried to shelter from the snowfall. A nanny goat in a face-obscuring helmet and a second clipboard in her muzzle was trotting out from the pig’s tent, aiming for a seat next to the ewe.

    “No, Ace, I haven’t, and I don’t know whether I want to,” the ewe said, frowning. “But go ahead. As we’re still waiting for Tuktu and Marjorie we cannot do anything useful yet anyway...”

    The rest of the crew looked moderately interested

    The pig grinned and went ahead unabashedly.

    “So, Prince Blueblood is at Barley Trotter’s having wined and dined, and is getting his after-dinner saltlick, when the waiter asks: ‘Your Highness, does Your Highness want to hear a riddle?’ And Prince Blueblood goes ‘Do I!’ because as is commonly know, Prince Blueblood loves riddles!”

    He took a swig from the clear fluid in the bowl and smacked.

    “‘Well, Your Highness, it’s not one of my sisters, not one of my brothers, yet it’s my dam’s foal. Who is it?’ So Blueblood ponders this difficult enigma!”

    Ace did his best to look like a foolish pony thinking very hard.

    “‘By the Wheels, I don’t know!’ he finally goes. ‘What is it? Tell me what it is!’  And he slams his hoof down the table like that.”

    The pig slammed his right front trotter down into the snowy muck for emphasis.  

    “‘Well, Your Highness,’ the waiter says, ‘it’s me!’ And Blueblood is very impressed, so he says ‘By the Wheels, I have to run that by the fellows at my club!’ and tips the waiter a bag of bits.”

    Ace took a second swíg. Another cow disengaged from the ungulates and joined them by the fire.

    “Hi Marjorie!” said the pig. “You just missed the beginning of an awesome story! Anyway, Prince Blueblood goes to his club later that evening, and as soon as he has sat down he goes: ‘Fellows, I have heard the most wonderful riddle, and I must test it on you! ‘ ‘Do tell us!’ they all say. ‘Well, it’s not one of my sisters, not one of my brothers, yet it’s my dam’s foal. Who is it?’’ says Blueblood.”

    The pig started to giggle.

    “A-a-and they all say, ‘Why, Blooey, it’s you!’ And Prince Blueblood says: ‘Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! It’s the salt waiter at Barley Trotter’s!”

    The pig chortled merrily and drank some more from his bowl. The others smirked, except for the ewe who rolled her eyes.

    “Have you seen Tuktu?” said the ewe and looked at Marjorie.

    “No Sarge,” said the cow. “I know some donkeys from the 26th dragged him into the woods earlier today.”

    The pig snickered.

    “Yeah, not in that way, grow up!” she moaned.

    “Why the flying flank does everyone think my translator is their personal bellamb?” the ewe growled.

    The goat brayed. Everyone turned towards her.

    “The Professah’s right,” said the other cow. “They think all caribou are these badflank woodsdeer and miss that most are just wit’ us‘ cause they make good interpreters here. It’s worse the further from Vanhoover they get an’ those jacks were from ma’ parts of Equestria, if ya get ma’ drift. Ah’ guess poor Tuktu, the worst excuse for a city fawn I’ve ever seen, has spent the day failing to understand whatever tracks them donkeys were worried about.”

    “Or they had him looking at poop and try to guess what kind of poop it was,” said the pig and giggled again.

    “For that they should’ve brought you,” said the cow.

    The goat brayed and pointed.

    “Here he comes now,” said the pig cheerfully. “Looks like he could use some food and coffee! Anyone know where his kit is?”

    The Equestrian reindeer stopped and made a half-hearted salute as he closed in on the fire.

    “Bad day?” said the cow. He nodded.

    “Private, why did you follow officers from a different regiment?” said the ewe.

    “I’m sorry sargeant,” said the caribou. “They had orders from Major Snowball.”

    “She again? She couldn’t use the bloody natives?!” the ewe shouted. “Did she get her commission here because of her name?!”

    The caribou winced. If the others took umbrage at her disrespect for a superior officer, they didn’t show it.

    “That’s a good one, sarge - ‘because of her name’’,” the pig chuckled. “Y’know, because we’re up here in the armpit of the Windigo, and her name has ‘snow’ in it...” He brought the caribou a bowl of slop.

    The ewe didn’t have time to glare angrily at him when a ram came running down the path that divided the camp into two.

    “Sargeant!” he shouted. “Surprise inspection! They’re coming this way now! Princess Luna herself! And that bloody reindeer king!”

    “Thanks, Corporal!” said the ewe briskly. She stood up on her hindlegs.

    “ALRIGHT YOU DAMRUTTERS! CLEAN AWAY THE MESS! UNIFORMS AND KIT IN ORDER! DESERT HOLLY, GET THE BANNER OUT! STEP TO IT!”

    1 comments · 228 views
  • 85w, 2d
    Snippet from next chapter

    I'm nowhere near finished, and the wording of this will not be exactly this, but...

    Later that day one of the two scouts returned to the main force with curious news.

    “A tursakalf?” said Einar with concern. “In what direction was it going?”

    “That’s the point, sir,” said the scout. “I... can’t tell. The tracks are really strange!”

    “That’s usually obvious,” Einar explained to Twilight and Spike. “It’s like a snowplow, almost literally. You can’t miss where they’re going.” To the scout he said: “Alright, I’ll take a look at them!”

    “Can we come?” said Vigg.

    “Yes, but be a bit careful,” Einar said. “We don’t know exactly where this thing is, and we must avoid it at all costs!”

    When they reached the tracks half a mile further ahead, Twilight understood what the scout meant.

    “I see,” she said. “An ice elemental would basically leave a furrow...”

    “But this looks like a series of craters,” said Einar.

    “Can they jump around?” said Saga and sniffed one of the craters. “I mean, if it did, it would leave holes like this, right?”

    “Never heard of it,” said Einar.

    “Can’t it be some weather phenomenon that looks like tracks?” said Twilight. “Natural or unnatural, give the circumstances?”

    “No,” said Einar, “nothing I’ve ever heard of...”

    “See, there are pieces of thick ice here in the crater, like splinters!” Vigg said eagerly and trotted down in it. “And there is magic residue everywhere, like there would be from a tursakalf!”

    “It Looks very similar to such residue, in fact,” said Einar.

    Twilight cast some spells and frowned.

    Spike walked around the crater Saga was sniffing in.

    “Twilight, can you lift me up...” he said.

    “Spike, I’m kind of busy here,” said Twilight.

    “But Twilight, it’s important!” said Spike and tapped his right foot. “I need to look at things from above!”

    Twilight stared at him, and then it dawned on her.

    “Oh!” she said and levitated Spike up into the air surrounded by a purple glow.

    The others stared at him

    “Yes!” he shouted. “I thought so!”

    “What?” said Vigg.

    Kvalhissir bellowed and suddenly sprung into the air, repelling the earth and rising to Spike’s level.

    “They’re normal tracks!” Spike said. “Like from a pony, or deer, or... or anything with four legs, really!”

    Kvalhissir bellowed and nodded.

    “He says he has heard stories of the ancient giants...” Saga said. She sniffed some more and licked an ice splinter.

    “That’s ridiculous!” Vigg said. “We have proved that the stories of stalo was just stories of moose like Kvalhissir! No moose gets that big!”

    “There were giants in the days of yore,” said Einar, “but that was in the beginning of time. There shouldn’t be any left.”

    “Maybe they’re coming back, sir,” said the scout fearfully, “because we’re so close to the end of time.”

    Kvalhissir bellowed something.

    “He says they look like wolf tracks, or maybe skoll tracks,” said Vigg.

    “Princess Celestia told me that the Adamant Alpha, the first Diamond Dog, was... is... a giant canine made of stone,” said Twilight. “Maybe there is a skoll equivalent?”

    “I hope not...” Einar mumbled.

    “I think I know what it is,” said Saga and spat out some ice. “It’s pretty crazy but not as crazy as what you’re talking about.”

    “What do you mean?” said Vigg.

    “It’s a secret of the temple of Hrimfaxi, so you must never ever tell anydeer, okay?” she said. “I shouldn’t be telling you this at all but this is an emergency...”

    “Could you put me down!” Spike said.

    “Sure - and sure,” said Twilight, nodding to Saga as she placed Spike gently in the snow. Kvalhissir followed him.

    Saga looked at the others.

    “We solemnly swear,” said Einar.

    “Okay... See, there is this ancient rite to create a servant,” Saga said, “and it hasn’t been done like for ages. It’s from the very founding of the temple. If you sort of butcher a tursakalf, you can use the pieces to build a... a living ice statue, an ice... golem. You need clay from a frozen river and the heart of an enemy and all kinds of gruesome stuff.”

    “Like the faceted golems employed in the Ancient Crystal Empire!” Twilight said, eyes glittering. “Eh, although you didn’t need to kill people to create those...”

    “It’s called a mokkurkalfe,” Saga said, “and usually they built them big, to fight or do heavy labor. But big, that’s big like Kvalhissir, or a big urox... This one must be huge. It must be made from several tursakalfar.”

    “Look, that would take lots of magical power,” said Twilight, “and you say this thing is a big secret. Don’t you think that if there was some wandering Hrimfaxi worshipper with that much power, some Grazer shaman or something, somedeer in Einar’s herd or from your temple would have heard about it?”

    “Lady Twilight,” said Saga and looked at her, “Princess Hrim... Princess Luna told us all about who founded the temple. He probably came up with the whole rite to begin with.”

    “Right,” said Vigg and looked at Saga admiringly. “And Wiglek the Wicked wasn’t that bad a wizard.”

    5 comments · 194 views
  • 86w, 6d
    Irrelevant UtNL-spotting

    I'm watching the collected episodes of the old cult classic The Persuaders (known as Snobbar som jobbar, "Snobs who work" here in Sweden). Now, in the episode "The Old, the New and the Deadly", Danny Wilde (Tony Curtis) gets invited to a Shady Nightclub in Paris for some negotiation by the Bad Guy's hired gun.

    Said nightclub is decorated with skulls as candleholders, ancient grinning gargoyles and lots of fake spiderwebs. The guests sports rather ridiculous and crazy outfits that I guess are supposed to represent early 70s disco decadence to the viewers, including a hasty glimpse of a viking helmet and one henchman wearing a Native American-inspired costume.

    That's right, they're in Klubb Niffelhel.

    Unconnected to this, while I don't have much energy for writing these days, I sometimes get idle thoughts of mashups, and one was The Ponysuaders with Rarity and Applejack as wealthy bickering, quipping, drink-sipping bachelorette adventurers.

    Oh,  here 's the intro to the old series:It is very cool, but doesn't really fit the mood at all - it's a light-hearted frivolous action comedy.

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A diplomatic crisis arises between Equestria and the small, poor kingdom of Tarandroland, ancestral home of the reindeer. Celestia and Luna agree that it is time Luna takes a more active hand in foreign relations again, and Luna brings Twilight with her as someone she actually trusts and can talk to. But the mission turns out to be much more than political discussions - if scheming unicorn courtiers, unfriendly surly reindeer, bloodthirsty pirates, ancient sorcery and dangerous monsters weren't enough, our heroines must deal with something old - older than Luna. And is Luna really ready for diplomatic action, will Twilight learn to use a fan properly, and exactly how wrong are Spike's superhero comics about reindeer mythology?

Now has a TV tropes page

First Published
16th Sep 2011
Last Modified
21st Sep 2014
#1 · 160w, 6d ago · · · Three ·

This looks very interesting, very well written. Love the worldbuilding.

#2 · 160w, 5d ago · · · One ·

Very clever. Sarvvik is an actual place in Finland(?) and Hrimfaxi is the "horse of night" in Norse mythology. I wonder if Luna knows Thor?

#3 · 160w, 5d ago · 1 · · Two ·

In Finnish mythology, Ukko is a god of sky, weather, crops(harvest) and other natural things. Also, in Norse mythology, Skinfaxi is the horse of the day(Dagr), as opposed to Hrimfaxi (Luna) being the horse of the night(Nott). Clever sieurin is quite clever.

#4 · 160w, 5d ago · · · Three ·

So, Princess Sweet (Ljufa). Pousti means desert in Czech. Vaja means "need"(according to Google Translate), but I don't think that's right. Anyway, I'm loving this so far!

#5 · 160w, 5d ago · · · Three ·

>>6486

A "vaja" is a female reindeer and is the world borrowed by my native Swedish from the Sami languages, when we don't just say "renko", "reindeer cow". You might know the Sami as the Lapps. A male reindeer is a "sarv", hence Sarvvik. "Vik" means "bay" in my native Swedish. A castrated male reindeer is a "härk", but this is teen rated so king Ukko's court won't have any eunuchs.:pinkiehappy:

"Pousti" is me not being able to read my own worldbuilding notes.:derpytongue2: It should be Poatsi (will correct this), and the reindeer call their country Poatsula. Poatsu is, again, based on Sami (which happens to be a bunch of very similar languages), where it means "reindeer".

The reindeer culture in the story have a mix of Sami, Finn and Norse elements. Hence I am mutilating several different languages.

Thanks for the nice words, btw.

#6 · 160w, 5d ago · · · Three ·

poor reindear girl

#7 · 155w, 6d ago · · · Five ·

Wonderful story!  I like how you go in depth with the various cultures, and also touch on the influences that Equestria has simply by being the influential country that it is.   Also, poor Spike at the foals' end of the table!   Vigg is a great character . . . His perception of Equestria as a sort of Hollywood backdrop rather than a real country makes sense.

#8 · 155w, 6d ago · · · Five ·

>>20426

Thanks for you kind words.:pinkiehappy:

#9 · 155w, 3d ago · · · Six ·

Definitely a more serious chapter here. Luna certainly seems to have the harsher edge compared to Celestia.

#10 · 155w, 3d ago · 1 · · Six ·

>>22372

She is definitely (in my head-fanon) more passionate, which means she is harsher when she gets angry. Celestia would have just fumed quietly in the above situation and avoided actually pointing out that her host was kind of  a dicktard.:trixieshiftleft: It also means Luna is more likely to spread around hugs, spontaneous knighthoods and magical blessings out of nowhere for no bug reason, however.

#11 · 155w, 1d ago · · · Seven ·

I just love the fact that Twilight is misunderstood as some powerful evil sorceress. I like how quickly this chapter came out, after the last one was antsy for some more of this story.

-Unrelated to the story but its interesting there are a number of stories that send Luna and Twilight/Mane 6 on a mission/journey/quest(such as this story), but despite the fact Celestia is Twilight's mentor, you almost never see them together in a similar capacity.

#12 · 155w, 19h ago · · · Seven ·

>>23830

Thanks!:ajsmug:

Besides Luna's much much higher popularity, it is hard enough writing her as an active person-pony from her perspective; even if they don't think her a molesting tyrant (which I personally finds silly, but so there) Celestia obviously have powers and knowledge beyond normal ponies.

When this story started to flesh out in my head to be something but a series of injokes about my home, I realised that how it was going to play out in the end was sort of like a classical, cliched Western epic fantasy; two young people (Vigg and Saga, natch) go on a quest to save their homeland from blah. On the way they gain a superhuman mystical mentor and some nonhuman allies. Except in this case, the "main characters" are side characters, and we are told most of the story from the view of the mystical mentor Gandalf analogue (Luna) and the cool nonhuman Legolas analogue (Twilight). And it can be darn hard to not make Luna too omniscient or powerful. I think Celestia would be even harder.

#13 · 154w, 6d ago · 1 · · Eight ·

Another chapter, sweet!

1. You use ellipses, I love it. I use them in my writing as well but generally it seems others use them quite little.

2. I wonder what personally loathsome task Twilight has for Saga, I can't remember anything in particular she was dreading earlier.

3. Saga's daydream was utterly hilarious.

4. Out of curiosity where are you from? Judging from your last comment I'm assuming your from one of Nordic countries.

#14 · 154w, 6d ago · · · Eight ·

>>25059

1. I had to look the word up. :twilightblush: I thought the word was a geometric shape...

2. It hasn't been foreshadowed enough. I thought of that when I wrote this chapter. My scheme for what is going to happen when is very sketchy, unfortunately.:raritydespair:

3. Thanks. :pinkiehappy:

4. I'm from Sweden, half Finnish, lives smack in the middle of actual Lappland. The heraldic symbol of my hometown is a reindeer. Yeah. :coolphoto:

#15 · 154w, 6d ago · · · Eight ·

I agree the daydream was alot of fun, but what I'm really loving about this story is the worldbuilding.  Everything from the King's rant about how much Sway Equestria has via Media and the like to the characters you've populated the world with.

#16 · 154w, 6d ago · · · Eight ·

>>25471

Thanks for your kind words. Worldbuilding - though not neccessarily good such - is the thing I have written about most while someone actually smacking my head when I do wrong.:pinkiegasp: It is good to see I have learnt something.

#17 · 154w, 5d ago · · · Nine ·

I love this story. :heart: Its kind of hard to read on the fimfiction site though. All the spacing is wonky. I'd also suggest getting rid of the breaks in the 2/3 part of the ninth chapter. Since there isn't any time passing between the conversation, and your not splitting to another scene, you don't need them.

#18 · 154w, 5d ago · · · Nine ·

BWAHHHHH-HAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAA!

Perfect last line.

#19 · 154w, 4d ago · · · Nine ·

>>26314

Re: Spacing: Yeah, I should probably look over that... :applejackunsure:Any tips on on how to make it better?:pinkiesmile:

I... I don't even know why I put that break there... Hm?:rainbowhuh:

#20 · 154w, 4d ago · · · Nine ·

>>26315

I aim to please.:moustache:

It can be hard to see, mostly because I cannot write teenagers worth a damn, but Vigg is something like fifteen (fairly older than Spike, slightly younger than Saga). He has his moments of less-than-mature...

#21 · 154w, 4d ago · · · Nine ·

”Spike, your mom is really hot!”

And then Spike proceeded to punch his royal face.

#22 · 154w, 2d ago · · · Ten ·

I'm guessing a Saga-Vigg ship is incoming.

#23 · 154w, 2d ago · · · Ten ·

>>28342

Spike is at least a shipper on deck for one, that much I will admit at this stage. :coolphoto:

#24 · 154w, 2d ago · · · Ten ·

Ohh I love this story. From the mythology and coffee crazy norwegians (No offense) to the way the whole thing is written. Keep up the good work!:twilightsmile:

#25 · 154w, 2d ago · · · Ten ·

>>28393

Thanks a lot, though the coffee craziness is more inspired by coffee crazed Swedes and Finns. ;)

#26 · 154w, 2d ago · · · Ten ·

This fic is great. Like... Awesome.

#27 · 154w, 2d ago · · · Ten ·

>>28443

Thank you!:twilightsmile:

#28 · 154w, 1d ago · 1 · · Ten ·

I want to see the Alluring Dances for Egghead cover :)

#29 · 154w, 1d ago · 1 · · Eleven ·

I play too much Dungeons and Dragons, I was statting out the differences between unicorn magic and reindeer magic and caught myself thinking of D&D solutions to the eye rune. :twilightblush:

Still, excellent stuff here, your writing sometimes reminds me of Terry Pratchett, and has a good combination of comedy and seriousness. I enjoy the differences in culture between the reindeer and pony civilizations, it seems very well thought-out.

#30 · 154w, 1d ago · 1 · · Eleven ·

>>28901

Since I like PTerry's writing a lot, that is high praise.:pinkiesmile:

I must confess being an old roleplayer as well. My only lets call it professional writing, that is, where I had an editor and such, has been made for fantasy roleplaying games. I find myself spending a little too much on exposition, actually, so I'm glad people at least find it interesting.

#31 · 154w, 17h ago · · · Eleven ·

I get both "Under The Northern Lights" and some delicious Scandinavian food in the same day, what a deal! My church had its annual "Norwegian" Supper(a bit of a misname since, due to the number of Swedes, there is food overlap), lots of Swedish meatballs, Lefsa, Kumle, Kringla, Spritz, Flatbrod, Ostkaka, and Lutefisk.

#32 · 154w, 2h ago · 1 · · Twelve ·

I love the blend of Norse mythology in this story, and this "War with Winter" reminds me very strongly of the Fimbulwinter, the legendary three winters without a summer that precedes the end of the world.

Wonderfully written, and a good blend of darker themes with more lighthearted moments.

#33 · 153w, 5d ago · 1 · · Fourteen ·

Powerpoint uh? Where is Office, Excel, Access and Outlook? :twilightsheepish: Now seriously, really nice chapter.

#34 · 153w, 5d ago · 1 · · Fourteen ·

>>31216

They have actual careers!:ajsmug:

And thanks.:twilightsmile:

#35 · 153w, 5d ago · 2 · · Fourteen ·

So Twilight reverse-engineered an enchantment cast on an entire royal palace, using foreign magic, then mimicked it with her own magic and maintained the spell for ten hours. While half-drunk. She has no idea how impressive that is, does she?

But that's why we love her so much. :twilightblush:

#36 · 153w, 5d ago · 1 · · Fourteen ·

>>31275

Kinda. She used the existing enchantment, the spell she maintained with gallons of coffee changed her perceptions so she could use the enchantment. On the other hand, she basically hacked the enchantment and took control over it, using sock physics, so, yeah, it is meant to be crazy hard, and Twilight has no idea that it is impressive, since she is a bunch of neuroses held together with cuteness.:pinkiesad2:

#37 · 153w, 4d ago · · · Fourteen ·

My favorite moments in this story are when Twilight and Luna interact, the way you write them they play off each other so well.

Neuroses held together with cuteness, I love that description.

One minor grammar comment- "have you drunk alcohol?" reads awkwardly "have you been drinking alcohol" is more natural.

#38 · 153w, 4d ago · · · Fourteen ·

>>31324

Yay, a Cyclone12 comment!:pinkiehappy:

That is nice to hear! Characterisation is the one thing I dread the most, so it is nice to hit some notes!:pinkiesmile:

Will correct Twilight's drunkenness.

#39 · 153w, 3d ago · · · Fifteen ·

Eyup a moose would look like a troll to tinier cervines  especialy with that bulbous honker of a muzle and the great big shoulders.

#40 · 153w, 3d ago · · · Fifteen ·

This is something I thought you should see. The lunar rainbow under the northern lights. Rainbow made from the lunar light http://io9.com/5859772/feast-your-eyes-on-a-rare-lunar-rainbow--against-the-northern-lights?tag=this-is-awesome

#41 · 153w, 3d ago · · · Fifteen ·

Sorry better version http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/io9/2011/11/moonbow_vetter_1200.jpg

#43 · 153w, 2d ago · · · Eight ·

Love this addition . . . Oh Saga, your friends are going to be so, SO jelly!

#44 · 153w, 2d ago · · · Nine ·

Oh Vigg. XD

I love the reindeer's interpretation of magic.  And also Spike clarifying that Twilight didn't have to sit on the gg.  :twilightoops:

#45 · 153w, 2d ago · 2 · · Nine ·

>>33539

Bucks will be bucks!:applejackunsure:

In my head-fanon, the times he or Twilight talk about such personal things, people keep thinking she sat on it like a hen, so he has got into the habit of correcting them.:fluttershyouch:

#46 · 153w, 2d ago · · · Eight ·

>>33530

Thanks for your words of praise!:derpytongue2:

#47 · 153w, 1d ago · · · Sixteen ·

I like slightly drunk Twilight.

#48 · 153w, 1d ago · 1 · · Ten ·

Alluring Dances for Eggheads . . . Ahahahaa!  :rainbowlaugh:

Poor Spike!  I can't help but laugh at his worries over having a reindeer dad who is his own age.  :twilightblush:

#49 · 152w, 5d ago · · · Thirteen ·

<i>And she must never know what reindeer think of her, or we will never hear the end of it.</i>

Ahahahahaaaa, it's funny because it's true!  :rainbowlaugh:

Great chapter, you are great at capturing the essence of the surroundings, like the snowstorm.  I also loved how Saga and Spike broke the tension with their dramatic "ice sculpture" poses.  :trollestia:

#50 · 152w, 5d ago · 1 · · Fourteen ·

Love this chapter and the notion of Luna and Celestia being the youngsters in an extended, powerful celestial family!  :trollestia:

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