• Published 16th Sep 2011
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Under The Northern Lights - CoastalSarv



Luna and Twilight travel to the northern land of the reindeer on a diplomatic mission

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Fourteen

Luna had arrived fashionably late to her meeting, despite actually being there before any anyone else. There are, after all, standards for princessy behavior. The onslaught of attendant birds had unnerved and impressed the meeting suitably. The extra touch of the rats swarming through the walls and forming a living carpet had been exactly what was needed. (She hadn't stepped on them, of course, and she was very impressed by how brave they were with all of those owls about.) She had considered bringing some wolves, but reindeer really didn't like them, so she had restrained herself. On the other hand, she had a swarm of brown Tarandrian jays, cheeky and cute birds on the whole, lovely little tricksters. She hadn't much experience of them before, but they had come when she called, and Eira had said reindeer held them for Hrimfaxi's servants (and an ill omen, but if she was going to bring some wrath down on this meeting it would happen with or without jays). She wondered if there were any in the northern parts of Equestria, which had similar pine forests.

The place for the meeting was a long hall with large windows, letting in lots of the little sunlight there was. A reindeer lackey had shown a pony lackey how to operate the big lamps that hung from the roof. None were electrical, but Luna thought it rather in character of Ukko to not have the room he was lending to those dreadful foreigners runed for thaumaturgy. Two long and two short tables had been placed in a rectangle so anyone who wanted to speak could step in there and be seen by all. Luna was at the south end, surrounded by those of her beastly entourage who stayed. The chairpony, who to Luna's delight turned out to be Oak Wreath, sat at the north end. Inside the tables stood a blue unicorn mare with a strange sunray cutie mark, who had placed herself in the corner nearest Luna and looked at the jays a little nervously over her shoulder. The other courtiers – all unicorns – were still settling down.

How did I end up with only unicorns? she thought. It's not like magic helps you with dealing with others. Maybe Tia thought I would be more comfortable with this lot. It's not working, though maybe they aren't the only ones to blame. Or maybe no one wanted this mission, and this is a herd of inbreds who only got their position because they are aristocrats, and aren't qualified for more attractive jobs? Luna was looking over the crowd, doing her best to remember their names, what their cutie marks meant, if she knew their sires and dams... Who is the mare with the sunray? Is she the first speaker, maybe? Luna poked her with her magic.

“What?” said the mare. “Oh, Your Highness, sorry!” She curtseyed.

“No worries,” said Luna. “It's just that I don't recognize you. What is your name and position?”

“Oh, I'm just a... sort of servant, Your Highness. My name is Powerpoint” she said.

“Servant?” said Luna confused. “Are you supposed to bring those gathered refreshment, or take the minutes, or what?”

“I'm an illusionist, Your Highness,” said Powerpoint. “My job is illustrating the things hard to present by pure rhetoric. That's my talent, illuminating what others say!” she said proudly and showed what she meant by manifesting a shimmering pie diagram in the air, illustrating the age distribution in Lower Manehattan.

“Aha,” said Luna and nodded in some disbelief. They have invented the strangest jobs for ponies...


The meeting got underway. Everypony reported on what they had learned and did, which was a bit repetitive, since many had been to the same negotiations. Any variety depended on them remembering them differently. (There were minutes from the meeting, off course, but as usual much had been said off record.) Luna kept silent for an hour, then she started to ask pointed questions, making the diplomats nervous.

It was after she had rephrased the question about exactly how much Interchangeable Aristocrat knew about the economics of piracy for the third time that she realized that she agreed with Lord Eminence. The most frightening thing was that she genuinely thought he had been right in his assessment after hearing the others present the situation. This was frightening because she couldn't say whether she really would have thought the same if Lord Eminence hadn't been able to present his short spiel this morning.

Luna was an emotional pony, but she could usually tell, when she was as collected as she was now, when and how she had changed her opinion of something.

It can't be a spell, because there is no way he could affect me, she mused. But nothing stops a normal pony from convincing an alicorn that they are right, and if is one's talent to be persuasive – befitting a diplomat, even a low-ranking one – it would be easier. Or he is simply right, and I am just being rational faster because he pointed it out...

“We have a timetable, you know?” said a cerise unicorn with some sort of celery cutie mark.

Luna wondered what celery had to do with his job. It can't be celery. Is it a flower with some symbolic meaning? Why don't ponies have sensible cutie marks these days?

“Things must happen during the winter,” he continued. “There will surely be no more raids during winter, not when they cannot control the weather. And land campaigns are easier in Tarandroland during winter.”

“What about renegade pegasuses?!” shouted one dissenter.

“Pegasi!” shouted several others.

“There doesn't seem to be that many,” said Implausible Celery. “It's a mostly reindeer affair, not like the usual multinational pirates where you have peg-legged pigs and perytons on the same ship. But as I said: we must reach an accord with the reindeer to strike at the pirate bases before spring.”

“Why do we need an accord? Really?” said a younger unicorn with orange mane and coat. Luna couldn't see her cutie mark, but assumed it would be a dunce cap from that comment. To her disdain several of the diplomats murmured their support.

“Well, if we ignore the lack of ethics and breaking of international law with such an approach, there is still the matter of military logistics,” said an elderly stallion which Luna in her mind had dubbed Eponymous Moniker, because you instantly remembered his name when you saw his cutie mark, except you didn't because of the gold-embroidered cape he wore which covered it.

“What do you mean, mylord?” said one of the murmuring supporters.

“Equestria has been at peace for give or take three hundred years," he said. "For various reasons, the only troops we can send outside the country are the yeomanry and the knightly orders. The yeomanry are earth ponies and pegasi in funny helmets who likes to play cowponies and buffaloes two weekends a year. The knightly orders are social clubs to further the career of young aristos and regulate their access to dancing fillies. In other words, they cannot actually fight anything, which is sort of a hindrance in a war, even a small bush war like this one.”

“What about the Royal Guards?” said another murmurer.

Eponymous Moniker smiled. “The Guards are all well and dandy, but they are a small force. Very small. Unless they have local support, they cannot comb through every damn fjord from Sarvvik to the polar circle,” he said.

“But why are we worrying about conventional forces when we have MMD?” asked Dunce Cap.

Luna saw most of the older diplomats wincing, before she even asked.

“Excuse me, mylady, but that's a new term for a pony like me? What's ememdee?” she asked.

“Magic of Mass Destruction, Your Highness,” said Eponymous Moniker.

“We have that? Are we talking weather control, or...? Because I know one unicorn, at most, who can destroy anything en masse with her magic,” said a confused Luna. “I thought I was on the ball with modern magic...”

There was some clearing of throats, but Dunce Cap went where eagles dare.

“Well, Your Highness, we are talking about the powers of you and your sister, of course,” she said, almost cheerful.

As Luna took the floor – by stepping right through the table, snapping it in half – she saw most of the elder unicorns cower.

They have made this mistake themselves once,she thought. Tia was the one to tell them. Guess it is my turn with the new ones.

“There seems to be some misconceptions on the limits on the powers of me and my dear sister,” Luna said.

“They are vast and beyond mortal mages, but they have the same limitations which you mentioned, mylord – in order of importance, ethics, logistics and what you might call international law,” she continued as she nodded towards Eponymous Moniker, who bowed back.

“Can I ask for your assistance, miss Powerpoint?” she said. The illusionist curtseyed somewhat terrified and summoned aether, colored lights to shape after Luna's words.

“The question of ethics is the easiest to explain: ever since my sister dismantled the Empire during my... absence, she has avoided military intervention beyond Equestria's borders, limited it inside, and made Equestria a byword for pacifism," Luna continued. "I do, of course, stick to my sister here, and for those who want to question the wisdom of that decision, I only need to show you the Donkey Empire.” Luna was amazed when the smallest of cues from her had caused Powerpoint to summon a series of maps showing the changing of borders of Equestria.

“Erh, Your Highness... there is no Donkey Empire,” said one nervous younger diplomat.

“Exactly,” said Luna. “They tried to keep it – and nowadays there is no donkey nation at all, no donkey language, and donkeys are spread all over the world. But even if there was reason to change that policy – a dire need for self-defense, say – there is still a question of logistics.”

“Say that I used my power over the tides to smash the pirate fleet - “ and the illusions illustrated her words “ - that would be possible. Yet you must understand that for every action I take there is a reaction, and what I and my sister gain in power we always lose in control,” Luna said and pointed to the changing picture. The view zoomed out, and the watchers saw with increasing horror how the same tidal wave smashed all over Tarandroland's southern coast and as they zoomed out further, they saw how the northwestern coast of Equestria was torn apart by more tidal waves.

“Or say that I used my right as the ruler of dreams to plague them with nightmares. Sounds like a more clean way to make war, doesn't it? Except the Dreamlands might not be material, but they still have a landscape, an ecology. Not even I can be certain of the side effects,” Luna said darkly, and the illusions showed ponies all over the country waking in horror or being unable to sleep, pegasus chariots crashing mid-flights, factory accidents which claimed countless lives when workers fell asleep, scores of ponies being rolled into psychiatric hospitals...

“Even if I did something small – say sent my animal servants to attack them – it would have limits. I could not make them tell one reindeer from another, most of them are asleep during the winter, and their absence could cause major changes in animal and plant life, all down in Equestria,” Luna continued and the diplomats were shown how wolves struck against every deer in the country, while the clouds of bugs she summoned from Equestria, where they still wore awake, affected the birds and small animals of the country, disrupting the carefully controlled park-like ecology of the ponies and causing major havoc.

“But all this might still be justified, unlike the problem with what I called 'international law'. Tell me, child...” Luna bowed closed to a now terrified Dunce Cap “...do you think I and my sister are somehow supreme? That we are the only beings like us?” The sweating unicorn mare actually nodded as she avoided Luna's burning gaze.

“You are wrong. There are those who actually worship us as goddesses, and while we might seem omnipotent to mortals, that is wrong,” Luna said. The illusions now showed beings of all kinds, ungulates of all nations and climates bowing down before strange images that could only be Luna and Celestia. Then the image seemed to zoom out and showed... other images. Other beings.

“What separates me and my beloved sister from most of what we call our 'relatives' – but do not take the term literally, because we were not born like mortal ponies – is that we take an interest in and care for mortal ponies. To make a joking description that should again not be taken literally – mortals might just be like toys to us immortals, but to us... “ Luna smiled “...it is like a filly that plays with her dollies every day and sleeps with them in her bed. For our... lets call them uncles and aunts, it is more like a collection piece you keep on a shelf and polishes now and then. But hear me on THIS!”

The room became very still and silent at Luna's sudden shout.

“If two little fillies should pull that collection piece down from the shelf and break it, don't think our aunt wouldn't be angry with us. Very angry. And hope and pray... though not to me, because I cannot help you... that not one of our other aunts or uncles decides to defend us!” she hissed grimly.

In the swirling illusions, the horrified aristocrats saw strange beings, like shaped from the combinations of animals, as big as cities, as mountains, move across the Earth. Across Equestria.

Up from the sea rose a huge being – was it a whale? A bear? A huge cow? It was half water, half ice, and as it bellowed – was that octopus tentacles or new rivers springing up? - it caused the sea to flood the land. As animals and ponies fled screaming to the mountains, some of the mountains moved and gathered together, forming into bones... into something like the corpse of a pony built out of rocks... or maybe a zebra, the stripes being layers of minerals. It started stamping into the land, shaking it with earthquakes that at the same time caused new mountains to raise up, providing a temporary relief from the worldly flood.

The image shifted, and millions of miles below the earthly disc – or perhaps on its other, dark side – stood a huge, strange being. It was a monkey – a pig – no, it was upright like a stork, with paws like a dragon, a face like a pony. With its paws it was wielding a hammer, beating something on an anvil. Moved by the ruckus, it grimaced, it's horrid face bigger than the sky, gripped what it was smithing – a huge sword – and stepped backwards – upwards through the earth. Once striding the surface, it screamed wordlessly, and swung the sword in wide arcs, which seemed to cut holes in reality itself...

“Are you terrified?” asked Luna. “This is nothing. My aunts and uncles, they created the World. Earth and all around it.”

The horrible images shifted, and now the assembled diplomats saw those beings, those and others like them, raising mountains, growing forests, spewing out the oceans and breathing out the atmosphere, carving animals from wood and forming them from clay...

“But my grandparents' generation... they formed the laws that the World is built on...” Luna continued. The image shifted... to lights... sounds... patterns of magic in a black sphere that itched the brain and made the soul cry.

“My grandfather decided that the number of digits in pi is infinite,” she said happily. “My grandmother, she came up with cause preceding effect! The laws of nature, physics, logic, morality only exist because they... and their friends, colleagues, rivals, enemies... agree that they do.”

“Think what would happen if they start to disagree?” she whispered so low that everyone in the room could hear her over the silence. “Let me tell you about the only one of my grandparents' generation that cared for ponies... in his own way...”

In the middle of the image appeared a grotesque statue of a being made of the parts of countless different creatures... a being which shied away in terror.

“Let me assure you: when my family feuds, only Grand Uncle Discord wins!” Luna whispered even lower as the statue's expression changed from fear to a smug grin. “So be very careful when you wave around the threat of me and my sister's divine powers, because you might just cause the end of all reality!”


When Luna came back to her suite – she was, in retrospect, glad that Powerpoint had fainted from what seemed to be ecstasy, not from terror – Twilight was drinking coffee. That was not in itself frightening or exceptional. What was both was that judging from the serving cart next to her, it must be her sixteenth cup or so. It was hardly evening.

“Welcome back, Your Highness,” said Twilight. Her voice sounded stressed, but she had a genuine smile on her lips. She was sitting very close to the wall and staring into it, a notepad covered with arcane sigils next to her. It was apparently her third today.

“What are you doing, Lady Sparkle?” said Luna curiously and started to leaf through one of the notepads. A dictionary in Ancient Cervine lay beside it on the table.

“Well, it seems our room is 'bugged' as I think the term is. But instead of using an electronic device, it is a much more efficient and much older scrying spell,” Twilight explained cheerfully.

“What?!” said Luna. “This is an outrage!”

Twilight shook her head and smiled broader – a little too broad.

“It's just counterintelligence. It covers all the rooms in the palace. Some of the outlying buildings as well, but I haven't got a good connection. The runes are worn, the whole thing a bit wonky. It has been used recently, that's for sure, but it isn't right now!” Twilight looked up. “Oh, and don't be worried! Saga helped me with a spell that stops anyone from using it on us, without looking suspicious. I forgot to tell you, all that business with Spike got in the way.”

Luna tried to digest it all.

“So you are saying the King can see and hear whatever happens in the palace?” she said. Twilight shrugged.

“Or his court sorcerer, rather. Reindeer magic seems to be second sight or clairvoyance, so it is possible the King could see what happens if someone shows him, but scrying takes some training. I don't have reindeer magic, of course, but I have constantly upheld a spell that mimics it, just like reindeer sorcerers can mimic telekinesis, and...” Twilight was interrupted.

“All day?” said Luna. “You upheld such a spell all day?”

Twilight giggled. “Yeah. Hence the coffee. I was close to passing out a couple of hours ago, but I have a second wind now, I think.” She looked happily at a worried Luna who rubbed her forehead.

“Let's make the best of this... You can look out of this one, not just in? I mean, wasn't the purpose to observe this room?” Luna said.

Twilight nodded. “The reindeer are amazing at clairvoyance magic and their runes aren't shabby. I mean just look at this matrix!” Her horn glowed.

Luna used her own magic, peered at the wall... “This is extraordinary! You are right!” she said. “And this... it stretches out...” She caught it. She set her inner eye to the eye rune and saw...

Maids gossiping. The Princess scolding one of her children. King Ukko asleep in spilled beer. Maids doing something other than gossiping - Luna quickly looked away. Guards smoking. Her own courtiers, babbling, writing, standing on the loo, calling her names... She could see and hear everything, everyone... this was, in small scale, what ponies assumed alicorns did all the time, while it was a rare occurrence. She averted her gaze.

It must have been harder for Twilight, and she understood Luna's sentiments.

“I think it takes a very special reindeer to deer this thing,” she said. “I don't think we have been that much watched, simply because Ukko's sorcerer – I have watched him – doesn't want to use it. I feel – traces of shame when he used it.”

“Reindeer are suspicious of all magic, none more than their own,” said Luna. “But... how did you reverse this thing? The rune haven't been changed?”

Twilight giggled again and worried Luna.

“It looked hard first, but then I realized – it is just like turning a sock inside out. See!?” she said and pointed to a heap of inside-out socks on the table. Luna realized it must not only be all Twilight's socks, but all of her and Spike's socks as well.

“Socks are... really special!” said Twilight happily. “Just like soap bubbles, they contain the keys to unlocking immense potentials!” She giggled and drank some more coffee.

“Coffee?” she said and offered Luna some.

“No thanks... and I don't think you should have any more either,” said Luna and put down the cup. “Twilight Sparkle... “ she sniffed her hoofmaiden's breath “...have you been drinking alcohol?”

“Just one glass, to test a theory... I kept asking for different sorts of coffee... for variety see... so now the maid gave me this!” said Twilight and pointed to the pot. Luna sniffed it.

“What in the world is this foul thing?” she said and sneered.

“Kask,” said Twilight happily. “Half coffee, half vodka. Two different substances with opposite effects. The alcohol fights the caffeine in your brain.” She turned to Luna.

“But I just had a sniff, so I'm not drunk if you think that, Your Highness. I couldn't work magic drunk, I shouldn't drink,” she said and turned back to the eye-rune.

Luna sighed. “Next time you ask for a local drink, check with the locals whether it will make you drunk, hoofmaiden!” she scolded her.

“Yes, Your Highness,” mumbled Twilight.

Luna looked at her.

“Something is wrong. Your great discovery is indeed frightening, but you seem to already have disarmed it. What is it, Twilight Sparkle?” said Luna.

Twilight looked at the floor and sighed.

“Do you know what Lord Eminence cutie mark is, Your Highness?” she said.

“The gray unicorn? No, I don't actually. It is one of those subtle ones, I assume,” said Luna.

Twilight giggled again.

“Subtle is right! That's a good joke, Your Highness!” she said. “Lord Eminence cutie mark is a veil, Your Highness. It is a swirling piece of cloth, a veil. Veils hide things. Lord Eminence special talent is hiding things. His natural unicorn magic is an invisibility spell, of course. And he isn't with us as a diplomat!” Twilight looked up to Luna.

“Lord Eminence is a spy. And I want to know whether you or Celestia knows that he is here and what he is doing” she said, and smiled at Luna. A very, very wide smile.