Similar and Different: My Days as Ditzy

by house932

Falling Far

After a few hours trying to sleep, I sighed in frustration. “Why can’t I sleep!?” Hearing this, Shane slowed the car.

“You’re having trouble sleeping?”

What do you think?!

Calm down, Ditzy. I’ll handle this.

“Yes.” It was a bit more blunt than I expected, but it got the job done. As Ditzy began to sit us up, I noticed something on both sides. “It’s odd; I had no trouble sleeping before...”

“I don’t really blame you, I wouldn’t want to sleep knowing I’m with a previously psychotic alien.” I can only guess that the flinch was due to said likely-insane Gallifreyan giving him a mental yelling-at.

“Yeah, that would explain it.” The music from Shane’s brother’s headphones was starting to get annoying, so I got Santorini out to distract us. I was about to start to fail at Solitaire when The Master glanced back.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to figure out what to do. It’s most likely going to be Solitaire.” His pause was a bit unsettling, knowing who it was pausing.

“I might be able to make that a bit less boring.”

Good, ‘cause Solitaire is kinda boring.

Then why do you play it?

Because I’m even more bored when I start.

“Oh? How so? Does it involve the laser screwdriver?” For those unfamiliar, the laser screwdriver is one of The Master’s most overpowered tools. I think it even does wood...

No, that’s completely ridiculous.

“Kinda, I mean, if the Doctor can give a cell phone crystal clear reception to the year 2006 from the end of the Earth, I think I can give you global internet access.” Me being pretty much one with the internet (hooves notwithstanding), the grin on our face was perhaps visible from space.

“That sounds awesome!”

“Yeah, let me just...” He fumbled unsuccessfully in his collar.

I’ll never get used to that...

Neither will I. It’d be handy, though...

“I need to pull over for a sec.”

“I’m fine with that.” My grin probably showed through, despite our combined efforts to hide it as we pulled onto the grass and exited the car. The grass felt quite good on our hooves, I must say.

“Alright, let me get a look at that laptop.” While he said this, he got his shiny OP laser pointer out and I got my kinda-heavy laptop out.

Couldn’t you have brought a lighter one?

The lighter ones aren’t mine to take on an adventure.

“Careful with it, it’s a bit heavy.” I handed (I’ve been a human sixteen years, I don’t have to use ‘hoofed over’ just yet) Santorini to Shane.

“Heavy, really?”

I’d say so, being one of its many reputations. He set it down on the grass, presumably so he could work on it better.

“Maybe for your pegasus frame, but for me? It’s a bit heavier than a Toshiba, I’ll give it that.” Ignoring Ditzy’s slight offense at this, I watched as he started, for whatever reason, to trace the screen.

“What do you want with the screen?” I pointed to where the modem was. “The modem’s here.”

“Yes, it is, but I need to connect certain frequencies throughout the whole thing.” For whatever reason, I didn’t expect technobabble. “Basically, I’m making the whole thing a receiver.”

Completely impossible?

Yep.

Remind me to go to Milliway’s for breakfast if he does four more things tonight.

...Hey! Memories!

I’ll try to leave them alone. I internally sighed in relief. Not really, but still.

Grr... Oh, I suppose we’d better address the outside world.

“Ya know what? I’ll just chalk it up to you being a Time Lord.”

“That, and technological advances, the likes of which you’ll never see.” As he begun to put away said non-invisible technological advances, I tried to get a closer look.

“I’m looking at them right now.”

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

It’s Commodore now. I was promoted!

“Well, this is only a bit of what I could have. The rest is on the TARDIS, wherever it is...”

“Could I have a look at the screwdriver?” He seemed to be pondering for a moment what to do with it.

“I guess? I mean, it’s not like you could hurt someone with it, unless you threw it at them.”

Ah, yes, isomorphic controls... Luckily, we don’t have those yet.

Isomorphic controls? I was genuinely surprised she hadn’t come across it yet.

Might have gotten the name wrong, but it’s locking everyone but a specific being from using something.

Oh. Okay then.

“I know. I can’t even drive screws with it.” With that questionable reassurance, he hoofed over the useless (to me) screwdriver.

“Alright, just make sure to give it back then you’re done, I’ve only got one of those, you know.”

“I will.” As we looked over the shiny metal, I giggled like a schoolfilly. I’m not sure who started it, but artifacts of high power seem to induce this sort of thing.

“Well, I’m going to take a short nap, kinda helps numb the gash.” Oh yeah, he was in a fight.

Hope he feels better...

He’s a Time Lord. He’ll be better.

“Be back soon!” As we lifted off to the clouds, Shane grabbed my laptop and got into the car. Ditzy selected a fairly high cloud, probably for the view, which, suffice it to say, did not disappoint. After a few minutes, I put the screwdriver down to look at the view.

Chris, do you know what happens when you put something down on a cloud? Generally speaking, of course.

Yeah, it falls through.

And what did you just now do?

...OH CRAP! With this, I jumped off the cloud to try and catch it. I got very, very close, but... it hit the ground.

“Nooooooo!” Shane hopped out to the scene of my humiliation, his brother apparently almost woken up by the scene. Then he asked the dreaded question.

“What happened!?”

“I dropped it!” I left out the part where I, a pegasus, put something down on a cloud.

“Oh, thank god. I thought you were hurt.” Oh, I suppose that’d trump any screwdriver... “It’s still mostly intact.”

“How? I dropped it from the clouds!”

“It only broke severally from an explosion from a gap in time-space, you honestly think a little fall would smash it?” While little does not describe the fall, I let him go on as he checked the screwdriver to see how well it works. “Well, that’s not supposed to happen.”

Yeah, fading in and out is generally very bad.

“Seems a couple of the lens broke...” Uh-oh. “Well, it seems it’s about as useful as a sonic, probably less.” Yeah, that’s really bad.

“Sorry...”

Wait a second, shouldn’t it be completely useless with broken lenses?

We’re just lucky.

“Hey, honest mistake, don’t sweat it.” The both of us relaxed noticably as Shane put the not-quite-bricked screwdriver in his collar. “Just remember next time that just because you can stand on clouds, doesn’t mean everything can.”

How’d he know?!

Lucky guess.

“Well, back to trav-” His frustration was evident at this point. “Oh well this is just bloody fantastic...”

“Oh, now what?” I was dreading the answer.

“I can’t drive now...”

Oh hell.

“Oh.”

We get to awaken his brother, though. With this, a grin crossed my face.

“And what’s got you so happy?” With this, I pulled my laptop.

“Name a style of music. I’m waking up your brother.” I started to prepare to blast something or other.

“Alright... classical dubstep.” Being both unfamiliar with any songs of that genre and unwilling to subject anyone to it, I tried to redirect.

“I was thinking something on the heavy end of Futurepop, but I can work with that.” Hey, it’s my favorite music and it tends to be loud, so why not?

“I’m... not familiar with the genre...”

You and the rest of the country, I swear...

“Noone much is.”

So we’re waking him up in the most hilarious manner possible?

Buck yeah we are.

Thought so.

“I have an idea.”

“Alright, let me guess, you’re going to change his music to startle him awake.” To this, we just grinned. He very quickly got the idea.

“Go for it.” That left just one question.

“Should I be nice?” As well as its requisite answer: “Of course not.” At the same time, Shane snuck the headphone jack to me, nodding. I took it, muted the computer so it wouldn’t ruin the prank, plugged the jack in, and set the volume to about a quarter. Don’t want to damage his ears...

“Any requests, or just go for ‘loud with lots of drum?’” He flinched at the ‘drum’ part of that.

Should have figured...

“How about something that starts nice and quiet, then explodes with sound?”

“Hmm... Doable. I think I’ve got one...”

Epicentre?

Epicentre.

“Yeah, Epicentre will do nicely...” To this he nodded. Luckily I can suppress laughter somewhat well, because I had to while starting the song.

Any second now...

When the bass drum hit, Shane’s brother leapt awake with a slight scream.

“Gah, what the hell?” With this, I broke into completely improper laughter. Shane was laughing too, but not nearly as much as much as his brother stepped out of the car.

“Seriously, that’s how you wake me up?” He groans a groan of sleep deprivation. “What do you want, anyway?”

“I kind of broke his laser. That means he can’t drive, and I never got a licence.” Or ever drove outside of university parking lots on one day. Oops.

“And, what do you want me to do, I can’t drive either.”

”Which is why I’m going to have to teach you.”

I’m going to stay out of this.

Probably for the best.

“...You can’t be serious.”

”Oh, I am, it’s either that, or we walk, your choice.” I was about to speak up about not wanting to fly for another whole day, but wisely kept it to myself.

“Fine... but if we crash, you’re paying for medical bills and repairs.”

“Understood, now get in the driver’s seat, this might take a while.”

***

I’m not really sure when we fell asleep, but we did and woke up in the middle of the night for unknown reasons.

“That easy, huh?”

“Where are we?” A perfectly reasonable question, given my nap.

”Side of the road, few dozen miles from where we started.”

Only a few dozen miles?

He was learning to drive.

Point...

“Shane just gave me the psychic paper for a fake ID.” He proceeded to show it off.

“Could I see that?” Shane’s brother started to hand it to me, but Shane stopped him.

“Please do be careful with this, we kinda need it at this point.” He looked at me like I was going to drop it from a cloud or something... Oops.

“Sorry about the screwdriver...”

“It’s fine, I just don’t want our last resort to fail, alright?”

“Yeah, probably a good idea.” At this point, Shane’s brother gave me the paper.

“Like he told me, just want it to appear.” As I took the paper, I considered giving a snarky answer along the lines of ‘I see a certificate that explains that I do, in fact, watch Doctor Who and know how psychic paper works,’ but I decided not to try that.

“Huh, plans for a national high speed rail system.”

After all, this country needs better railroads...

I see something different.

What is it?

“No, a news article reporting on the fact that Derpy’s fine...”

”Interesting...” Admittedly, I’d say that the psychic paper is more interesting, but half of him’s had it for a long long time.

“Two minds, you know.”

“Yes, it seems the paper is picking up both brainwave patterns and is simultaneously showing each. Hmm...”

”Shane, stop, you’re going science-y.”

“I like science.” It’s my favorite subject in school, and my best, so I’m allowed to like it.

“Yeah, but yours isn’t being influenced by an insane timelord horse.” At this point, I just stated the obvious.

“Insanity is a major part of the Time Lord experience.” Seriously, name a Time Lord that isn’t insane.

“Right...” He rolled his eyes “What’s why the Doctor is hell bent on destroying the universe, right?”

“Insanity can be harmless! Tell me about how Eleven is perfectly and completely sane!” I left out the Time Lord Victorious incident; it would have proved my point even better.

“Right, if we could get off the topic of insanity, I think we have somewhere to be?” Shane seemed eager to get off the topic.

“Right...” Shane’s brother started driving. He’d obviously just learned, but was driving better than I ever did.

“Oh yeah, the meeting.” I fired up my computer and noticed something odd.

It’s fully charged! Funny, that...

Should it be?

No.

“How is Santorini not dead?”

”Oh, that? I gave it a quick charge when I added the wifi, just a little fix-up.”

“That, right there, is quite handy. A laptop with decent internet everywhere and a full battery.” The only thing better is if it charged itself!

That would be completely ridiculous though.

“Well, couldn’t let that kind of tech go to waste, laser screwdriver and all.”

And unfortunately, we went and ruined it...

Not your fault, Chris...

”Whoa, what?” Shane’s brother looked between us. “You gave her an ultimate connection and didn’t tell me?”

“Sorry about that-”

We need something to call him...

“I never did get your name.”

“It’s Tyler, Tyler Denton, and-”

Oh, so that’s his name...

“Why didn’t you hook me up with a phone that could do that? What, am I not pony enough for you?” His embarrassment at this question was apparent. “Great, I just used pony as an adjective...”

“I’ve used pony as a verb before.” Ditzy slipped in, “God, I have no life...”

Wait a second, how do you know? She most certainly wasn’t expecting that response.

”At this point, it really doesn’t matter.” Shane, at that point, looked to Tyler as if to start off the adventure. “Now, onward dear driver, to Kansas.”

Comments

[Firebirdbtops]

Perhaps you could meet up with the horse of a different color, provided you can find a convenient twister.

[ShackledTime]

2792278 Ha ha, Wizard of Oz joke, color changing horse.

[house932]

2792278 I could always make one...