Similar and Different: My Days as Ditzy

by house932

Short Northern Adventures

“Yes. Do you happen to have any dull green trenchcoats with wing holes?” I asked, hoping the answer was a yes.

“I don’t know. Let me check on that for you,” the earth pony who looks vaguely like Rainbow Dash said. “Oh, and by the way, I am Rainbow Dash, or, more specifically, the one from G3.”

“How did you know what I was thinking?”

“I didn’t. It’s simply a common question.” That would explain it.

After she left to look for a long raincoat, I looked around some more. The more I looked, the more two conclusions came to me. First, this was a shop that either was prepared for the pony conversions or makes many things quickly. Second was the reason that I hate shopping: long stretches of time confined in a small area with little to do. That realization was brought on by the fact that it wasn’t a long time with nothing happening, as it was 5 minutes before a dismayed cyan earth pony came up to me.

“Sorry, we don’t have any.” She perked up instantly, as if thinking of a great idea. “Would you like to be the first to have one?”

“Sure, why not?” I saw a catch, but if it was what I thought it was, then the catch would be a benefit for all, what with the ability to make trenchcoats for more pegasi. It’s probably a niche market, but you never know what one will wear.

“Okay. I’ll need to measure you and make a pattern that fits, along with the coat itself.” For the record, I totally called it. “The measuring shouldn’t take long, but making the pattern and coat could take a half-hour to an hour, easily. After you’ve been measured, I’d suggest going and eating lunch.”

“Okay, when will we start measuring me?” I felt an urge to get over with it soon.

“How’s now for you?”

“Now is excellent.”

Before I finished the sentence, Rainbow, the Tailor’s number-one assistant (I’m pretty sure. She acts the part.) was on me with a measuring tape. Every measure conceivable and then some were checked, double-checked, and often triple-checked. It went much faster than expected, until she touched my wing.

“Eek!” I wasn’t expecting such a reaction. It just felt...wrong...to have a pony touching my wing. Like it was private... “...Is it possible to avoid touching my wings?”

“I can’t avoid it. Maybe calipers would help with the sensitivity?” She was genuinely concerned. How could I tell that? I’m not the best at sensing emotions. Must be the expressive face on her. Yeah, that must be it.

“Need me to use them?” My mother has apparently been watching for ten minutes or so. “I mean, I have thumbs.”

“That may work. It may also make her less comfortably with the measurements.” Let’s go to the tailor, I said. It’ll be fun, I said. I’ll get a nice coat then walk out, I said.

“I was a male until this morning! Yes, I can hear you talking about me directly above me.” Yes, I’ve always pointed out the obvious to others who seem to not see it. Hastily, I added “Do you really need many wing measurements? They aren’t pleasant.”

“I can get away with four: Thickness at the base and distance from leading edge and trailing edge for both wings.” Good, it’ll be over quickly. It’ll involve touching my wing, but not for long.

The measuring went more slowly this time around. Is it the calipers, or the ...sensitivity? Or maybe something else. I don’t know. I do know two things: First, I want to fly high, or at least higher than I am now. Second, I’m kinda hungry. Hungry enough to eat a horse comes to mind, but I quickly dismiss it, as that would be cannibalism, which is wrong. Kind of like eating meat.

Wait a second. While my mom’s a vegetarian, I eat meat. She’s fine with me eating meat, and doesn’t think doing so is wrong. So why, when I suddenly became a pony, do I feel that eating meat is wrong? Could the original owner of this body be influencing my mind?

No, that’s ridiculous.

While it took longer per measurement, Rainbow was still quick with the calipers. She was done within five minutes.

“I’ll need to make the actual coat now. May I suggest that you go to Quiznos for lunch?”

“Why them?” My mother piped in. A good question.

“They cater to ponies, and do a good job of it. Just walk in and they’ll know what to do.” Makes sense; there is a pony who works a couple of blocks away.

“Okay, we’ll be sure to go there. It’s still on High, above 670?” It can’t be said that I don’t know how to navigate the area. I’ve been to more than my share of Comfests so far in my life, Comfest being a yearly gathering in and around the local park.

The aforementioned park is nice in the early fall. I know because we walked (and I flew. Flying is awesome.) through it to get to the Quiznos. All in all, it was worth the walk. At the other end, there was only a couple of street crossings away. As we passed the Coldstone, A reasonable question occurred to me.

“Can ponies eat dairy?” It’s a good question. If we can’t, then that would wreck my life. Then the deeper recesses of my mind contributed.

If not, then why do we keep cows?

This thought felt ...different... somehow. Like it wasn’t mine. Around now, the idea that the true owner of this body was still in it started gaining credibility. The thought had a good point, though.

“Never mind. We can.” At this, my mom looked at me like I was a two-foot-tall pony at her eye level. It’s about time she figured that out.

“Of course you can. Why else would ponies have cows?” Somebody’s busted. I won’t tell you who, but you know full well.

“Mom, have you been watching ponies?”

“No. I saw screenshots all over the internet with ponies wrangling cows.” That also explains it. “They were hard to miss.”

“I’m sorry for the vocal fanbase, mom. Next time, I’ll go for a quieter one.” Sarcasm is common in my family. At this point, we were at the counter. My mom ordered a Veggie with everything, as is the norm. However, I didn’t know what I was being given, as they simply called it a ‘Pony Special.’ When I asked, they simply said that it was rumored to be the most delicious thing for us ponies, along with a test to see what side appealed to us most. I personally approve of this.

When we got the Pony Special, I started to unwrap it, finding a sandwich with lettuce and diced onions. On the side was a small portion of oats dusted with a red powder, and another of fried fibrous strands. On a whim, I tasted the sandwich first.

Not bad. If ‘not bad’ means ‘one of the single greatest things ever tasted’, then this is not bad. Finishing my sandwich, I set my sights on the red-dusted oats. After biting into them, chewing, and swallowing, my mouth started feeling like it was burning. This sensation...felt like jalapenos on my tongue. Wait, these are spicy oats!

Should’ve figured from the color.

While I was thinking, my mother stole the oats. She likes spicy food much more than I, so I did nothing to stop her. Suddenly, some of the fibers were in my mouth, being chewed. They tasted like fried grass, but delicious. Absolutely delicious.

Hay fries are generally well-liked by ponies.

And there are those different thoughts again, with their good points and...different...ness. It does seem they know what they’re talking about. Most of my doubt about the original owner being in this body was simply gone. The rest had quieted down to the point that I really didn’t notice it. One curiosity: who is this mystery consciousness in my head?

No answer from the mysterious thoughts. Of course they wouldn’t be obvious, because they wouldn’t be mysterious thoughts.

Around this time, our lunch was done. We reported our findings to the cashier, who wrote them down. We then wandered through the foliage in the park towards Taylor’s Tailors. When we got there, we finally bought the trenchcoat and I wore it. It was warmer than I expected. In October at high altitudes, that can save lives.

At this point, I needed a nap. Sudden revelations tend to do that. Luckily, there were a few errands for my mom to run, so I could sleep in the car. Disregarding the lack of pillows, I fell asleep quickly.

***

I was coming home from school when I saw my sister, Derpy, asleep under a Weeping Willow. Knowing something was wrong, I walked up to her and waited. Luckily, I didn’t wait long before she awoke.

“Something wrong, sis?” She looked like she had been crying for a few hours.

“This.. girl splashed my project in my.. face and called me a wall-eyed idiot!” She sounded like it, too. That chemistry project was her pride and joy; to ruin that and insult her eyes was a sure way to get her crying.

“...Don’t listen to her. You aren’t an idiot. Wall-eyed, yes, but an idiot, no.” It’s true. She is no idiot.

“T-thanks..”

“It’s true. Now c’mere and give me a hug.” I leaned over and hugged my unfortunately-named twin tightly.

“You are the best sister ever...”

“No, sis, from where I stand, you are.” It's true. How am I supposed to determine that I'm a better sister? I'm not my sister.

“Thanks sis! We should go home, where are we?” We were on the route home from Weather Patrol, but I don't know the exact location.

“I don’t know, but when I find out, I’d like to come back.”

“It’s.. so pretty!”

"Indeed it is, sis.”

“I wish mommy could see this!”

“So do I, Derpy.”

“Ditzy, we should come here again! It can be our secret!”

“And what a secret it is!”

“I wish we could spend more time here...”

“We can. We have days off at the same time next week.” Wednesday, to be exact.

“Fantastic!”

“So, we’re coming back here on Wednesday?”

“Yea! We could call it Wonderland Wednesday!”

“Yes, we could. This place is beautiful.”

“I know, we could have picnics!”

“I can see it now: Muffins figuring heavily!” We laughed at my joke, and continued chuckling on our walk home.

Whoa whoa whoa. I do not have a sister. I am not a sister. I am a male only child; I have never had any sisters. I would have probably done the same thing, though. Why am I being hugged?

“That would be me. You appear to have seen one of my memories.” The hugging force released, and a grey pegasus came into view. ”Hello, my name is Ditzy Doo. You may remember me from your mirror.”

Author's Note:

I will continue the dream next chapter.
Don't worry about the pillow running joke; I have planned for it.

Comments

[Firebirdbtops]

I guess the pillow will be dessert.

[house932]

2127715 When next I update.

[Freescript the Bard]

Quiznos: Best. Restaurant. Ever.

Yay for universal constants!

[house932]

2128211 I may put in other pony-friendly restaurants. A few more constants will be directly dropped soon.
EDIT: By which I mean used.