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Lessons from Fluttershy

Rainbow Dash really needs to stop being so dangerous to herself. She almost gets seriously injured the week prior, and now Fluttershy is determined to do what she does best: calming down angry animals.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 3 )

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deactivatemeplease

deactivatemeplease #1 · Jan 25th, 2012 · · ·

It's very nice. I see that you have labelled your story as complete, but it seems you have left an opening for Chapter 2. A mistake, maybe?

Another pointer is the way you have arranged the text. The random gaps inbetween the sentences makes it VERY hard to read. Perhaps form sentences better?
I like where the plot is going, and it's written very well. Good job!

Satriark