“Uh Fluttershy? Are you going to finally tell me what this is all
about? Where are we going?”
Fluttershy smiled sweetly as she lightly cantered ahead. She was
taking Rainbowdash through a section of trees that were set apart from
the Everfree Forest and had stayed tight lipped about her intentions.
“You'll see very soon. Please try to be patient.”
Rainbowdash lightly scowled but kept silent. They were almost
there anyway...
---------------------------
Eventually they reached a small lake that was fed by one of the
many tributaries that weave through the Everfree Forest. The lake
surrounded itself with a grouping of flowering trees that were lightly
dropping their petals into the clear waters. Light buzzing drifted
overhead as bumble bees went about their work with somewhat lazy
ambition. Delicate sounding birds whistled at the new arrivals and flew
nearby to get a closer look.
Rainbowdash had to admit, it was a pretty awesome scene. Before
she could close her mouth, Fluttershy began to whisper. She slowly
found her voice as she began to state her case.
“Rainbowdash... I brought you out here to talk to you about your
flying. Um, what I mean is that you seem to be trying riskier and riskier
stunts and well... I thought it might be a good idea to try to help you
with... uh, being more careful?” She looked up at her friend shyly as her
hair threatened to envelope her face. Rainbowdash wasn't responding,
however. In fact, she was being uncharacteristically quiet. Fluttershy
continued and found even more of her voice. “You see... I just don't
want to see you hurt so I thought it might be a good idea to teach you
how to fly a bit like me... that is if you want to, um... well, I mean it
might be a good idea.” Rainbowdash stared for a while longer before
speaking.
“This is about last week, isn't it?”
Fluttershy winced as thoughts of the incident flowed into her mind. Rainbow Dash was about to pull off her latest trick
and called for her best friends to spectate outside the town hall. The trick was relatively simple and most likely would have
worked if the weather hadn't been so violently unpredictable that day. When her friends were all gathered, Dash set about
flying in long arcs that were increasing in circumference. The plan was to complete the last widest arc by landing on top of
the town hall and raising her hooves in triumph. What actually happened was a complex air mass slamming into the town
right as Rainbow Dash was finishing up her last arc. Her excitement and adrenaline caused Rainbow Dash to be
completely caught off guard as the strong winds ripped her out of her flight and flung her like a rag doll. Thankfully, Twilight
Sparkle had been recently practicing her telekinesis spell and was ready to catch Rainbow right before she was thrown
onto the sharp metal roof attachment on top of the town hall. This incident was still very fresh in everyponies' minds.
Rainbow Dash leaned in close to Fluttershy's dazed form and said quietly, "It is about last week, isn't it?"
Fluttershy snapped out of her daymare and quickly squeaked, “No! I mean, well I think it might have... uh...
well you see.” Biting her lip, she decided to stop beating around the
bush. “Yes... yes, it is about last week. Rainbowdash, please oh please
let me help. You need to be more careful and-”
“Fluttershy...”
“I don't know what I would do if you ever seriously injured
yourself-”
“Fluttershy...”
“I mean, it was a very close call last week and I think I can really
help you so that you will be less accident prone during the next time you
want to-”
“Fluttershy!”
“(eep!)... Uh... yes?”
“... I get it. You don't want me to get hurt and that means helping
me stop being such a klutz, right?
Fluttershy hid behind her mane before squeaking a small “yes”.
Rainbowdash sighed heavily as she stared skyward. “I suppose...
I have been getting a lot more riskier lately. How many times have I sprained my wrists or
ankles? It seems like it's only a matter of time before I break
something. It's not like I haven't tried to be more... graceful?
It's just something I can't seem to wrap my head around. Some would be Wonderbolt I am.”
“Oh Rainbowdash, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you can
do it if you put your mind to it.” Fluttershy walked up to Rainbowdash
and gave her a small smile. “We can do this, Rainbowdash. Together.”
Rainbowdash returned a smile of her own. “Thanks Fluttershy... so
uh, what now?”
Fluttershy glanced around at the sanctuary she was sharing with
her friend. “Well... I think we should ask the animals and see what they think.”
Rainbowdash looked around at the ducks swimming in the lake and
the birds fluttering between branches. “Uh, Fluttershy, what exactly do
you-”
“Mister duck, oh mister duuUUUck. Would you please come here
for a bit?” As the duck waddled out onto the bank, Fluttershy turned to
address her confused friend. “This won't be a normal flying
lesson, Rainbow. The first step to finding your inner grace is to
experience the grace of the animals around you. See how they move?
They are as fluid as the air and water around them. They have no fears
or inhibitions so they don't feel the need to move as if they do.”
Rainbowdash sat on her flank with furrowed brows. This was going
to be a long morning.
-------------------------
A long morning would have been an understatement. Rainbowdash
would have left early, would have stretched her wings if Fluttershy's
lesson wasn't so necessary.
“Very good, Rainbowdash. See? They trust you now because you
have learned to move with grace.”
Rainbowdash had to admit, she never noticed how jerky her
movements had been until this morning. They finished up their lesson
and Rainbowdash thanked Fluttershy once more before heading back
home. She had a lot of thinking to do...
It's very nice. I see that you have labelled your story as complete, but it seems you have left an opening for Chapter 2. A mistake, maybe?
Another pointer is the way you have arranged the text. The random gaps inbetween the sentences makes it VERY hard to read. Perhaps form sentences better?
I like where the plot is going, and it's written very well. Good job!
Satriark
My only complaint is that there were no spaces in Rainbow Dash's name. That just bugged me a bit, but aside from that, awesome fic!
Awww.