• Member Since 24th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 11th, 2013

anhero23


E

A sappy fic that was written by Angus-Zephyrus and I. It depicts the start of a romance between Lyra and Bon Bon and it starts on the beach. Oh yeah, beaches are always a great way to start that, huh? This might be the start of a series that Angus and I will do describing their relationship after their initial coastal encounter. But for now we see it as a completed stand alone.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

Isnt "Happy Accident" the title for a Bright Eyes song?

Also, this story is amazing :scootangel:

It's kind hard to figure out who's saying what. Ether link speech to the actions of the same pony who is speaking or add ", said Xir."

"That was beautiful. Uh, the music, I mean." Even though she's only heard two minutes of it.

"Oh, I'll just have a order of hay fries." Bon Bon looked up from her menu in surprise. When you say it like this it sounds like Bon Bon is talking to herself.

I have an extra bedroom in my house in Ponyville so you can have immediate lodging." Would you invite somepony that you've known for only a day to live with you, even if you were attracted to them? Probably not.

This needs a lot of work and what I've mentioned is only the tip of the iceberg. I'd recommend sending this to the writer training grounds on Ponychan.

Beautiful short story, very enjoyable. :twilightsmile: And there was a little song I was listening to that went perfectly with it called Seaside Story, which you can find here:

http://www.ctgmusic.com/song.php?id=6720

Very fitting, if you ask me. :3

156705Thank you for the constructive criticism. I will be sure to use your comment in the crafting of my next story.

I'd like to read this, but our formatting just makes it a lot of hard work. The internet's not going to run out of space and adding full line breaks between paragraphs and between lines of dialogue would make all the difference.

156647
Yeah, the title makes me think that Lyra's gonna get Bon Bon pregnant. :rainbowlaugh:

:pinkiegasp: Dash and Fluttershy weren't lying about Harry!

Short, sweet, happy. Quite nice. :twilightsmile:

This makes me want to go D'AAWWWWWW :twilightsmile:

Perhaps I'm in the right mood but not much bothered me about the story except for the ending which was rather abrupt, Right after "I think that can be arranged". I suppose listening to songs from Brian Eno's "Another Green World" Album helped me relax while reading, too.

163988 We are planning on continuing this story into what happened between this story and the end where they revisit the beach.

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