Meeting New Pon—People
It has been a few days since the scientists learned how to nullify your magic. They know something called radiation is what causes it, but they aren’t sure why. Not that it truly matters to you, of course. You’re just worried about what they’ll do now that they can make you truly helpless.
Not that they’ve really given you any reason to be worried. It’s just a feeling you have in the back of your mind. Maybe it has something to do with how you finally realized they’re all predators, even if they act kindly.
Today, your guard told you that you would have a guest. “Who is he?” you ask, almost trotting to keep up with the harried looking young stall—er, man.
“A very important... official,” Vance answers. “Being late would be bad. Very bad.”
That’s almost enough to make you feel somewhat guilty, but you aren’t used to being rushed around any more. “I do apologize. I just had to get my hair right for somepon—one so important!”
Vance doesn’t even seem to hear you and instead just glances down at his watch, worry plastered on his face. Apparently what he sees shocks him, as his eyes go wide and his mouth drops. “Oh God!” He turns to you and says, “Forgive me!” before wrapping his sweating arms around you, tearing you from the ground, and sprinting down the hall.
“Unhoof me!” you shout, trying to break free of his filthy grip. All that work you put into your mane can’t be ruined!
“No time!” he answers, neither letting you down nor stopping. It’s tempting to force him to stop, but you really don’t want to risk getting punished. The humans have been nice and they’ve allowed you to keep using magic even though they can block it. You have no desire to give them a reason to force you to stop.
Besides, you would hate to have to whine at them for hours. No, it’s better to keep that tool in reserve.
Thankfully, it didn’t take him long to get where he was taking you. When he does arrive in a room devoid of anypony else, he promptly sets you down. “Sorry about that,” he pants, reaching into his pocket for something. You just huff and eye what he pulls out: a comb. “I can’t undo the... heh, damage, but maybe you can cover it up with this.
As you ensorcel the comb over, you almost manage to ignore him shivering and eyeing the floating object with distaste. “You don’t happen to have a mirror in there as well, do you?” you sigh, your eyes attempting to peek at your mane from their useless place in your head.
“Afraid not, ma’am, but I do have something that might work just as well...” You look back over to him as he jerks a large knife out of a sheath on his belt. “Think you can see your reflection in this?”
While you know you should be somewhat alarmed at the sight of such a dangerous weapon, you manage to keep it in check. After all, the humans seem to allow him to carry around a gun, which is supposedly so much worse. What’s a knife compared to something that can kill for miles? So instead you answer, “Thank you,” and gently pluck the knife from his hands with magic.
The knife is a very poor mirror, but you needed anything you could get to fix the mess your mane was in. And the poor dear looked rather guilty for messing it up—or maybe he was still just worried about being late—and you know you needed to help assuage it by letting him think he was helping you.
After a minute of doing what you could, your guard spoke up, “I don’t suppose you could hurry it up? If someone walks in and sees you with that thing—”
A new, authoritative male voice broke in with, “They’ll see a lady fixing her hair with the limited tools she has.” The knife almost slips from your magical grip as you quickly turn to face the new speaker. Before you stands an average sized darker human wearing a rather fetching suit. A large white smile tears his face in two.
“Mister Pres—ah, Mister Obama! I-I can explain!” the young soldier next to you stammers.
“No need, son,” he answers, stepping aside to let Major Ide enter behind him. Vance’s eyes open even wider as he snatches the knife out of the air and salutes.
“Sir!”
Ide narrows his eyes the bared weapon. “Soldier, there had better be a very, very good reason that knife is out and she was holding it.”
Your ears droop at his tone. Vance is in trouble. “That was my fault,” you quickly answer. “I didn’t have time to fix up my mane before we left this morning and I just wanted to make sure it was in a proper condition to meet somepony new. Mister Vance here was just doing what he could to assist me.”
The glare the major is wearing promises that it isn’t over between him and poor Vance, but at least you tried. The Obama fellow seems to not care, though. “Relax, Major. Trust has to come from somewhere. Reliable contact can’t be established and held if we don’t trust them, after all. Even if it is just trusting Miss Rarity with a poor excuse for a mirror.”
Ide doesn’t seem to relax any, but he does quietly say, “At ease, soldier.” You can’t help but wonder what kind of power this Obama has that he can make the commander of the base stand down. Vance hurriedly shoves the knife back where it belongs, grabs the comb from the air, and steps back, taking a position against the back wall of the smallish room. In fact, the place felt rather crowded with you and the fou—Wait, there are four humans in here?
When the fourth human, wearing a suit and sunglasses, sees that you finally notice him, he just looks down at you impassively, not saying a word.
“Now that that’s out of the way,” the one called Obama was saying, “my name is Barack Obama. This is Ace, my friend.” He waves a hand to the hulking fellow standing next to him. “He doesn’t talk much at all, so don’t mind him. I’m here to have a few talks with you and maybe follow you about your average day, if I have time.”
“Oh, I don’t mind at all. It’s really quite boring here since I just spend most of my time answering questions or dealing with the scientists. There isn’t much for a pony like me to do.”
“I can arrange some things for you to do, if you’d like,” he replies. “Just tell me any of your hobbies and I’ll see what I can do about getting you supplies for them.”
“I don’t want to be a bother...” Though you have to admit, having more sewing supplies would help keep you occupied and relaxed.
“It’s no trouble at all, Miss Rarity. Just let me know before the day is out what you need or want and we’ll do our best to accommodate you.”
“I’ll... think about it, then.”
“Excellent. Now come, sit. It’s time we discussed business, I believe.” He nods to a rather nice couch set up for you while he walks to a standard chair.
As you walk over to the couch, you can’t help but compare it to your chaise lounge. It is a rather poor comparison for this sofa, but it’s considerably better than trying to sit in one of those difficult human chairs.
When you get situated, you ask, “So what kind of business did you wish to discuss?”
“The first discussion topic is relatively simple. Do you know what a god is yet?”
“Of course. The historians were able to explain that to me fairly well.”
“Good. Do you consider your Princess Celestia a god?”
That question takes you aback. “I... No? I believe she would be rather offended if anypony tried to worship her. That’s a strange question to ask, Mister Obama.”
“Strange, perhaps, but important,” he answers. “It brings us to the second thing I wanted to ask. Do you know how the ponies in general would take to us?”
“...What do you mean?” you ask, not certain you like what he means by that.
“Miss Rarity, you and your kind are the first proof we’ve had of an alien race, something with sentience that isn’t human. This is huge for us humans, something we’ve dreamt of for millennia. The cultural exchange that could happen is immense. But that amounts to nothing at all if they would refuse any contact with us past getting you back. Could we establish diplomatic relations with your race?”
Now that one definitely surprised you. The impression you had been getting from the humans is that they wanted to help you get home and that would be the end of it. But this... This was something else! “I... honestly don’t know. I certainly don’t see why not! But you might want to... curtail what you tell some ponies about your rather unseemly past.”
He shakes his head. “Hiding from the past invites a repeat of it. Humanity became what it is today because of what we’ve done in the past. If the ponies in your world are too afraid to accept us because of our past, then that will be the end of it. It would be a sad day in history for all of us to learn that the only other race we ever came into contact with cut us off because of our past, but maybe that would be a good thing. Perhaps it would even give us a reason, an excuse, to change.”
“Change in what way?” you ask.
“In a way that involves much less violence, I would hope. Humanity is not united, not by any stretch of the word. I and several others want that to change. But that is not the topic of discussion. What about the other races on your world? The griffins or the dragons or... whatever else is there. How would they take to us?”
“I don’t know. Mister Obama, I am a fashionista, not a noble or a traveler. I know of other races, but I know very little about them. I can count on one of your hands the number of griffins I’ve met. All but one of the dragons I’ve been forced to deal with have been jerks. The diamond dogs kidnapped me and tried to use me for slave labor. Almost nopony even knew what changelings were before they attacked. There are so many races on my world that I don’t know most of them.”
“I see. Do you at least know how your government views them? Or what the race relations there are?”
“I’m not a politician, Mister Obama. Friendliness is the prime national export of Equestria and every race is welcome there if they come in peace, but I’m sure there are exceptions that I don’t know about. Few ponies leave the country or share what they know about the other races. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help, but I honestly don’t know much.”
“It’s quite alright, I assure you. You’re not unlike the average voter, so don’t feel bad.” Though you aren’t quite sure what that means, you don’t think it’s an insult. “It just means we’ll have to go in blind. At least you ponies seem to be extremely friendly. I’m sure they’ll be willing to at least give us a chance.”
“That’s true, I suppose. Now forgive me if I seem rude, but why do you really care what we think of you? Why are you so interested in establishing relations?”
“I understand that it might not make sense to you. After all, you grew up in a land where there are plenty of other sentient races. Here, humanity is alone. For almost the entirety of our history, we’ve been alone. There have been so many who have asked the question, ‘Is mankind truly alone in the universe?’. We finally have an answer. Imagine being alone in the dark for thousands of years. And then a group of people find you, each carrying candles. How closely would you cling to them, for either the light or the company? We are the man locked in darkness. You and your world are those with candles. Can you truly blame us for being so curious?”
That actually did make you understand. You nod. “Yes, that makes sense. I suppose if we were the only species on our planet, we would be equally curious to meet a new one.”
“I’m glad you understand. Of course, we have to get you home before we can truly begin. And it’s extremely important that we get the word out about you.” For some reason, he smiles. “We’re going to give Roswell alien enthusiasts everywhere something to talk about soon, I believe. In two more days, you and information about you will be released to the public. If all goes well, we’ll bring you to a closed-doors meeting shortly after. I believe you’re going to grow to miss the boredom you had here in this base. But you will get better accommodations, so I suppose that’s a plus.”
“I... see. Though why are you doing this all so soon? I thought the major said I was supposed to meet somepony important, the president, before I did anything like that.”
“You don’t need to worry about that. It’s all been taken care of. Once you finish with meeting the representatives of all the other countries, you might have some small amount of freedom to do as you’d like. You’ll still have a schedule you’ll need to follow—that can’t be helped, sadly—but you might have more freedom. Have you seen a TV yet?”
“Yes, I have. Anonymous had one in his house and I watched it for a few minutes.”
“Then you know what it can do. There are also news stations. You’ll be on every single one of them in a few days. I rather hope you like being famous, Miss Rarity, because you most definitely will be. You’ll also be all over the internet. I imagine you’ll have some rather interesting fans there shortly.”
“Internet?” you ask, finally confused. “I believe that was mentioned in one of the sessions, or maybe by Anon, but I don’t really know what that is.”
“I’ll let the historians explain that one for you, then. Once you leave this base, you’ll probably have more specialized protection, men like Ace here. “
“What about Anon?” you quickly ask.
He blinks in what might be surprise. “If you... really want him, I suppose it can be arranged. I would like to know why, though.”
“He’s hurting and I want to help him. I don’t know what the problem is, but I believe that, given time, I can draw it out of him and maybe even fix it.”
“Hmm. Not the wisest of reasons, but noble. If it will make you happy, you can keep him with you when you leave. If he accedes, of course. Major, when will he be done with his new training?”
“Tomorrow, sir.”
“When he is, make sure he is delivered to Miss Rarity. Oh, and does your society have slaves?”
Your eyes open wide before you realize he was actually asking in ignorance, not trying to insult you. “No,” you tersely answer.
“I don’t mean to offend. I’m just making sure I’m not sending a man off to be a slave.”
You sigh and reply, “I understand. When two radically different cultures meet, I suppose it’s understandable for there to be some confusion. I know you don’t mean to offend. I’ll just have to keep reminding myself of that.”
“Just as we humans will all have to do the same, though I believe you’ve had plenty of your questions answered already.” Before you or he could say anything else, the large hulking fellow he called Ace taps Obama on the shoulder and leans in to whisper something. When he pulls back, Obama sighs. “I’m afraid we will have to cut this meeting short, Miss Rarity. I was hoping to be able to spend more time with you on an informal setting, but it seems that will have to wait. Before I go, do you have any questions for me?”
“Two, yes. First, you mentioned that you could arrange some things for me. Can you get me a sewing machine and plenty of materials for it?”
“That shouldn’t be difficult,” he replies with a shrug. “What’s the other?”
“Major Ide said I would be meeting more and more important humans until I was finally introduced to the president. Who are you and what title do you have?”
He smiles and replies, “I’m afraid I might have made a liar out of the major. I am Barack Obama, President of the United States of America. It was nice to meet you, Rarity.” Your mouth drops at that revelation. He chuckles at your response. “I do apologize for tricking you like that. But I decided it would be best to meet you without you knowing who I was. You weren’t supposed to learn until after some less formal talking, but sadly that couldn’t happen. Now, I’m afraid I have to go. Something came up that I need to deal with.”
Not wanting to ruin this meeting any more than you already had, you hurriedly jump up and bow as he stands. There’s no telling how poorly he thinks of you for not following protocols!
Except... he’s laughing? You slowly look up, trying not to offend him any more than you surely already had.
“There’s no need to bow, Miss Rarity. Despite how some of my opposition view me, I’m just another man trying to make life better for everyone. I’m no royal to be bowed to.”
“It’s not... expected?” you hesitantly ask.
“Neither expected nor encouraged,” he answers. “It was a pleasure, Miss Rarity. Until we meet again.” He nods and walks out the door, his large friend following close behind him.
That leaves you alone with the two military fellows. Without wasting any time, you quickly pull yourself out of your bow, trying to hide the surprise on your face. “I thought someone told you about that,” Major Ide idly comments. “Ah well. Now you know for the future. You alright over there, soldier?” he asks Vance, standing behind you.
When you look back there, you see him blushing up a storm and looking away from you and the major. “Y-yes sir.”
“Good. See to it that she gets to the mess. I’ll have Marshall relieve you there. When he does, you find me in my office immediately, got it?”
“Yes sir,” he glumly sighs, likely expecting something to come from that whole knife incident. “Come along, ma’am. Let’s get some food in you.”
As you walk to the door, you hear the major say, “That better be all you get in her. I saw where your eyes were, Vance.”
The soldier puts on a stricken expression that you swear just screams out ‘traitor’ as he looks at the commander. “Yes sir!” he practically squeaks before bundling you out the door, probably hoping he could escape his commanding officer’s wrath.
“What was he talking about?” you slyly ask as the two of you walk down the hall, side by side. His flinch was unexpected.
“Nothing, ma’am,” he replies, clearly embarrassed.
A smile comes unbidden to your face, knowing full well what happened. When you foolishly bowed down, it seems a certain young human got himself an eye full. “Well, did you like what you saw?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he hastily replies, turning even redder. “And I can assure you, anything I might have seen was definitely an accident and not even close to on purpose.”
WHY WON’T ANYPONY CALL YOU PRETTY?!
...That’s okay, Rarity. You’ll be home soon and you’ll have all your ardent admirers back. And even more, for being the first one to meet the humans!
Of course, first you have to survive Earth. And to do that, you’ll need to eat. Which brings you to where you arrive next: The cafeteria. Despite the relatively few options you’re given, there has always been something there you’re willing to eat, healthy or not. By the time you got to the line, Vance had already managed to escape you, getting replaced by his sergeant.
“How’d your meeting go?” your new escort asks as he joins you in line.
“It went... well, until the end,” you answer. “I... might have panicked when he told me that he was the president and I forgot that I wasn’t supposed to bow.”
He snickers and says, “Oh man, I wish I had been there to see that. The look on Obama’s face must have been priceless.”
“I imagine it probably was...” you sigh. “Sadly, I was too busy looking down, hoping he wasn’t angry.”
“Nah, he doesn’t seem like the kind that would get mad about that. Better to make the mistake in relative privacy than to do it in front of billions when you’re on TV, though.”
“...Right.” It wasn’t until then that you realized just what it meant to be truly famous on Earth. If the president was correct, your face would be on TV, on something millions of humans probably watched at any given time. If it was a special occurrence, you could potentially be seen by billions of them at one time. It was... a harrowing thought, one that made your knees somewhat shaky.
“You alright?” Marshall asks, putting a hand on your back.
“I... I don’t think I’m that hungry anymore,” you quietly answer. Sweet Celestia, if you mess up, every single human will know!
...No pressure, Rarity.
“Yeah, I can see why,” he mutters, looking ahead of you to the food serving area. “I know I wouldn’t want to eat that kind of slop. You’ll be almightily hungry if you don’t eat, though.”
“I’m trying to work on my figure anyway,” you faintly say. “Can I go back to my room now?”
“Sure, I guess. You’ll have to spend some more time with the historians and then with some other people the president left behind soon, though.”
You didn’t answer, too busy with your own thoughts. Six billion humans. All watching you. Watching. Waiting. Looking for any mistake or sign of weakness.
Six billion humans. Six billion predators. What have you gotten yourself into, Rarity?
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This is like the only second person fic I seriously enjoy. So glad to see an update.
Woah. Hadn't been expecting an update from this fic, it has been quite a while now...
Any particular reason he apparently spoke his middle name in all caps?
2930899
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! I forgot to erase that AGAIN! One moment.
woah, woah, woah, what?! this was last updated half a year ago?!
life goes by fast when you're having fun, I guess.
About bloody time, I have been looking forward for a update for this story for a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time.
Fell for the story a long time ago, almost all the way back when you started it.
Four 'jobs', two presentations, one new reaserch and development proyect all for past tomorrow.
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/33383921.jpg
Simply cheking my email an--
Rarity on Earth updated....
quizilla.teennick.com/user_images/O/OT/OTA/OTAKUXNINJA/1311489376_6471_full.jpeg
2931037
I know the feel.
Thru me the way to the city of woe
Thru me the way to eternal pain
Thru me the way that runs among the lost
Justice urged my creation
The supreme wisdom and primal love
Before me only eternal things were created and eternally I indore
Abandon all hope ye who enter
2932913
What's the worst that could happen? It's only 24,000 words or so long.
2931471
The only reason I put that quote is because I feel as though I'm meandering through a dark wood, searching for any signs of light. I'm failing, so far.
2931037
2931096
My main story took precedent. I got to a good pausing point in it and I can work on this one now until it's finished. Or at least, the Rarity on Earth part is finished.
2932925
Sounds good, I'll be looking forward for future updates on the story then!
Btw what is the name of the main story you have been working on? might be worth taking a look at.
If it is as capturing as this one, I'm sure it will be a pleasant read.
2933538
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/45860/diaries-of-a-madman
It starts bad, but it gets better. It just took me a little while to get into the groove of writing, and it shows.
2933652
I liked your Diaries story very well, including the first few chapters. Don't just go and think your first chapters are shitty.
Love this story, Rarity makes me laugh so hard.
2933652
Your kidding right? I'm currently at chapter 53, its properly the longest story I have read here so far.
UPDAAAATE!
*hugtackle*
Ohthankyouthankyouthankyou!
I love this story so much x3
Just think of all the eyeballs... All focused on you Rarity. All. On. You.
2933538
I highly recommend reading Diaries of a Madman. You won't be disappointed.
2938756
Oh trust me I am, and I ain't disappointed one bit.
I can't wait till this gets updated, too.
2931033 my sides, they hurt.
3135331
Oh wonderful! My apologies for assuming, I just didn't get the feeling there would be any pleasant surprises like that.
This story was not what I was expecting, but it was a very pleasant surprise. This Rarity is much more likable than the one in DoaMM. The overall direction of the story has thoroughly snagged my interest, and I anxiously await further updates.
3370785
I've never trusted that importer, but if it works then good for you.
I cannot believe that no one has made this joke yet.
Do the undoable,
see the unseeable,
RoE! RoE!
Fight the pow, ah!
Smell the unsmellable,
hear the inaudible,
RoE! RoE!
Fight the pow, ah!
-"Libera Me" From Hell
Edit: I changed the lyrics for fear of banishment by the Lyrical S.S.
Not get killed by the countless venomous, poisonous, and/or hallucinogenic flora, fauna, and fungi of planet Earth. Then try not to get eaten by many things. Try not to let anything lay tiny eggs under your skin that will hatch into larvae that will literally eat your brain.
Try not to get any tapeworms in your gut the size of your own intestines. Try not to get any parasites that swim from a stream up your urine and latch on, draining you of vital nutrients while infecting you with a number of painfully fatal diseases. Don't get killed by exposure to the elements at their most basic level.
Don't get killed by the weather, earthquakes, sinkholes, quicksand, firestorms, fire tornadoes, lightning storms, tsunami, hurricanes, lava flows, rock-slides, boiling hot mud, everything living in swamps, the rain forest. Don't get killed by Australia. Don't get killed by people to be made into a trophy.
Don't touch anything that isn't easily recognizable grass. Don't go near anything that eats other things. Don't eat anything with more than one color. Don't eat anything small with only one color. Don't crap in an area you cannot bury it. Don't piss into an existing water-source (stream, puddle, doesn't matter, due to aforementioned parasites).
I could do this all day.
Even at a cursory glance, Earth is a Death World. We just don't notice because we're made for surviving in it. Hell, we have to keep our eyes peeled when walking through a garden to avoid touching something poisonous, disease-carrying, or otherwise dangerous and possibly lethal in a variety of interesting ways.
3475206
She'll be staying in a place where that's not going to be a problem and very well taken care of. There's not much that'll be a threat to her, that's for sure.
Hey, I haven't read any of this yet, but are you going to finish it? It looks neat and I would love to give it a try but I don't want to read some only to find it will never be completed.
3789857
It'll get finished eventually. I just have no clue when.
Seems like our very much sexually active Rara needs a good stress reliever. Maybe mr. Vance can help with that as an advanced request, doesn't seem like it would take a lot of convincing for it...
I really really hope this story isnt finished. I want moar!
Awesome read. I love these kind of stories.
Kind of a downer it hasn't been updated in over a year tho.
but still, thanks for all the words
Quality material. Shame it's been delayed.
Then, suddnely, a giant, purple women with nipples that shat demon babies attacked me..
Obama... ya know, I bet things would be different if Lyra was in Rarity's place.
I told you; it's not working!
D: Stun her!
:C She's getting closer!
D: Oh noooooo!
Imagine what would happen if Donald Trump was the president in this fic... We need to build an inter-dimensional barrier.
Make The Universe Great Again!
I know you'll finish this eventually but I have to ask one question. Why pick Rarity, if you don't mind me asking?
7255795
What would you say if an alien showed up on Earth and it's main fascination was the clothes people were wearing? That shit would be weird and nothing like anyone would be expecting. It would throw off all the philosophers, scientists, and make the conspiracy theorists cream their pants out of joy.
I know you're focusing on Diaries but having another chapter of this every once in a while would be great
wait im rarity?! my life is a lie!!
Ooobamaaaa!