Aspiring novelist, taking a break to write some MIP:FIM fan fiction as a writing challenge to myself.
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A girl with indigo hair landed in my shower in a flash of light, can use magic and claims that she is, or was, a pony...and says I'm the crazy one. I promise, I'm not. Though her elitist little mannerisms might just drive me to kill her, we'll see if we can get her back to her home before that happens.
(A POE Romantic Dramity)
(Standard disclaimers of non-ownership apply)
(Cover Image credited to artist)
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Interesting start. Certainly different... you've piqued my curiosity as to where this will go. I'd like to see more.
And for your first time in first person, you did quite well. Very readable.
Good job bro, I'm here for pre-reads if you want them!! Keep it up!!
OH! And insta favorite!
"Reverse HIE"
Sometimes known as PoE (Pony on Earth)
A person who is old enough to have a wife that died three years ago doesn't seem like someone who would use the word "emo"
trolling around the internet
Well, that explains that.
There's a strange combination of funny and sad here. I'd like to see more. Be very careful how the second chapter goes. The first real conversation between two characters sets the tone for the rest of the story.
1827849
Thanks for the tip!
Being/having been maried and having children in this day and age does not often imply oldness though, I intentionally kept his age vague in the first chapter, it will be revealed later.
Very promising start, I look forward to seeing more of this!
Disappointed in the number of dislikes it has gathered. You've done a good job here, and I see nothing to warrant that reception.
very nice story, calm yet suspenseful ending, i like it haha
great story so far, looking forward to more!
followin'
This really could be a cool story
Also I would love it if the first comment she makes when she wakes up is going to be how his clothe or hair doesn't look good enough
Not bad
One sentence I'm having trouble parsing: "Correction, ran into the shower wall because the door was being what was now a creature shaped blob of light floating in my shower. "
was being...?
1832833 Re-read it five million times, still didn't see that. Edited sentence to be correct. thx.
1832883
No problem. Now I get it. One last little thing on that sentence, since I've been doing heavy editing on something else today: needs a dash.
"Correction, ran into the shower wall because the door was behind the now-creature shaped blob of light floating in my shower."
Italics optional.
1) Great story, though I do myself wish chapters would be available soon and 2) nice lysdexia haha
Good so far. Have a mustache
Cant wait to see whats in the letter.
I absolutely love this! You are doing a marvelous job! I can't wait for the next chapter.
". Haha. You've captured Rarity well though. 
P.S.
When Rarity was having her little tirade, I expected her to say "This is the worst possible thing
1879107 Don't worry, the worst possible thing will come later.
ah yes the chair rarity ultimate skill
No obvious errata or typos, though I probably would have hyphenated over-footballed.
Seems a little out of character for Celestia, but I laughed.
Seconding the OOC-ness for Celestia.
HA! The ending! That was GOLDEN!
1951919>>1951486
Don't worry, I thought it was a bit OOC too, but that's part of the fun of Fanfiction, ya get to bend the rules a little. I may rework that part later, but for now it will stay as is. Thanks for the feedback!
Love the bit about the fire picnic.
I loved this. And the "Worst. Possible. Thing" was a nice touch
Can't wait until the next installment. Thanks
I can't wait. I sure hope your not done with this. It's very cute.
2060227 don't worry, working on the next chapter now
The only obvious typo I saw was this one-
should be 'the'.
But that aside, this looks interesting, and amusing.
Saw this on the update list and figured I'd give it a shot. I was not disappointed.
My new favorite word is ZOT.
...long range hole maker...
Glad I read this early. Now my day is made.
2082327 Thank you, corrected.
"I’m also somewhat of a redneck and like beef, so sue me"
At least he's not some pussy vegan.
Welp, you're boned.
Claim it (her hair) was dyed purple and doused with glitter? Then get the heck out of there. xD
My god, this describes Wal-Mart perfectly.
Um, not that I've ever bought cheap shitty clothes from there.
Rarity: Soon to appear in People of Walmart.
See? She fits rights in...
I always thought Rarity had the second most normal hairstyle out of the mane 6.
2156226 BAHAHA that made my day, thanks for the comparison xD
2159208 Style, yes, color, no.
who is the first?
2154959 Eeyup
2159294 Applejack.
yay
i found you Deleth. remember me? the stupid one who left you like three reviews on the other place? no? of course not! lolz 
any way i love this story to death and will continue to read it as long as you update! 
NEED MOAR. YOU SAID WEDNESDAY. IT'S WEDNESDAY.
It felt...fast. There was so much happening and it felt like not enough words were used.
Also, not a single mention of her hair? Based on the ending of the last chapter, I thought it was supposed to be a big deal.
2261873
Yeah as an author I thought those things too. The hair thing was a part I honestly forgot to include, that shall be edited once I get home and have the time to tonight.
The cost of writing in a new style, I guess. Thanks for the feedback.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m93ldmLstd1qhja7p.jpg
Dude let rarity back inside man. Dont brake my heart.
A pony in the real world as a human ship fic starring Rarity?i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/293/590/6f6.gif
2261873 Updated it slightly to flow better with the last chapter.
I'll make a blog entry about an expansion of all the ideas in this chapter later.