Taking Flight (Alternate Ending: Part 3)
You watch from a cloud as a formation of three Pegasi fly overhead in a lop-sided 'V' formation, trailing storm clouds and lightning as they go. Amid the formation, a pony is missing, leaving a large gap in between the leader and the Pegasus farthest to the left.
"Today, we're here to bid farewell to two of our members," Spitfire's voice blares, through powerful loudspeakers. Even from your cloud, far away from the crowded cloudiseum, you have no trouble hearing her.
"About three months ago, while preparing for a show in a small town not far from here, Nighthawk was involved in a terrible accident. Only through the magic of Equestrian medicine did he survive, though his life has forever changed." When they pass the edge of the stadium, the three blue-clad Pegasi break formation. Each makes its way to a separate point around the large building and begins to fly to the center of the arena at high speed.
"We're also here to say good-bye to Fleetfoot. Who has also had to resign her position due to medical reasons." At the center of the stadium, three Pegasi bank and roll past each other. Nearly colliding, but for the skill of their trade. As their dark trails collide, bright lightning flashes through the clouds. Moments later, the rumble of thunder reaches your ears.
"Enjoy the show!" Spitfire says, the wide smile on her face evident through her voice. At that, a column of fire shoots upward, from the center of the arena. It passes directly through the black cloud that has just begun to form from the remains of the previous trick; the mass of moisture is immediately burnt away by the flier's heat.
"Well, at least they didn't use the 'training accident' bit." You look down to the source of the statement and the source of warmth against your body. Fleetfoot lies with her head perched atop her hooves, looking to the shapes of your friends in the distance. As she watches the show, you watch her. You watch the way her mane blows in the high-altitude breeze. You watch the way her body swells and shrinks with every breath she takes. The way her wings shift and twitch slightly as she mentally goes through the motions of each maneuver that plays out before her eyes.
You're glad that those months ago she asked you to go on a date with her. You're glad that you couldn’t bring yourself to say no, even with the ice that wrapped your heart; a fortress built to protect you from the pain you once felt at the hooves of another mare. You're glad that she broke down those walls of hatred and of sorrow, and you’re glad that those walls are being rebuilt with blocks of love and happiness.
You blink, lifting the veil of fog from your eyes. The realisation that your gaze was no longer unreturned hits you. Those wonderful emerald eyes have been locked with yours for Goddess knows how long. She reaches upward, nuzzling your cheek before placing her forehead against yours. The tiniest pulse of her heart can be felt through your coat as you sit, sharing the breath of your love as it encompasses your face. In the beauty of this moment, a shadow of guilt, at your reluctance to rekindle this fire, overshadows you.
A warm, soft embrace meets your lips, burning out any feeling other than the warmth in your heart.
"I love you," Fleetfoot says, pulling away from your lips. Your response is simple, understandable. You cradle her face in your hoof, gently running it over the short fur of her face, and pull her into another soft kiss.
She told you early on in your dating that she would give you all the time in the world to bring yourself to say those words. 'When you are ready,' she would say. Before long, though, you had begun to show her your feelings, even if you didn't state them.
You break the long kiss, roll onto your side, and scoot as close as you can to her. She does the same, snuggling tightly up to your chest and wrapping her wings around you. As your shared warmth radiates through your body, held in by the downy surface of the cyan filly's wings, you rest your head against the cloud's surface. She nuzzles you softly before laying her head down on your neck, completing Equestria's most perfect embrace.
After only a few minutes like this, you feel your eyes begin to droop. Even as the blaring music and roaring announcer reaches your ears from the far-off stadium, the sounds of the mare's soft breathing and the feeling of her heart beating against your chest lull you into a peaceful, warmth-filled sleep.
***
Small, suppressed giggles pull your consciousness back into the waking world. As your senses return to your body, you notice that your hoof rests against the soft feathers of Fleetfoot's wing, and when you crack your eyes open, you're met with a face full of her radiant white hair. You take a long, deep breath, taking in the indescribable scent that always reminds you of spring rain falling in a hollow filled with silver-barked trees.
"Are you awake, Birdie?" asks the mare that fits so perfectly against your body. Her voice is just above a whisper. Though, it's loud enough to send vibrations through your neck when she speaks. Instead of a verbal acknowledgement, you lift the hoof that you had, in your sleep, draped across her wing and bring it up to run through her mane. She lets out a relieved sigh as her wings immediately retract, leaving your body bathed in a mere shadow of her warmth.
You lovingly wrap your own wings around her, still stroking her mane with your forehoof. Without warning, her hooves begin to mercilessly tickle the insides of both of your wings. You immediately burst into laughter and roll onto your back, trying to escape the hooves of your beautiful tormentor. In hindsight, this was probably not the best idea, though. As you roll, your hooves, that still hold her tight, pull the light mare along with you, and now, she's perched atop your body. A smug grin plays across her face before she stops her assault. It's a few moments before you can force your laughter to subside and longer still before your heart stops thrashing around in your chest or your deprived lungs stop aching.
You're still drawing in large gulps of air when Fleetfoot speaks, "Let's go fly, Birdie. All this lounging made my wings stiff." Her green eyes plead with you to comply.
"I'd like that" you reply, noting the obvious relief on her features. Fleetfoot carefully steps off of you and spreads her wings, taking to the air in a low hover. You climb to your hooves and quickly take to the air, following the Pegasus mare as she begins to fly away from the city. After a ways, she turns back to you with a madmare's grin on her face.
After a taking in a large gulp of air, Fleetfoot rockets off, towards the horizon. You desperately try to keep up, but as fast as you can fly, you're not even close to as fast as she is, and she knows it. Soon, Fleetfoot slows, resigning herself to fly in barrel rolls around you. In an attempt to break her out of the orbit she's established, you begin to fly in different patterns. You do know a few maneuvers, after all. First, you begin to list lazily to the left. Though, when that doesn't work, you do a quick loop. You can tell that she's had to speed up to compensate for flying a longer distance, but she still orbits constantly around you with a satisfied grim on her face. A sense of pride overwhelms you as you take in the speed that this mare can achieve without sacrificing precision.
After many more loops, turns and tricks, your coordinated efforts devolve into something else entirely. You both fly with no pretense or pattern, simply dancing around one another in an aerial display of agility. Before long, a feeling of warmth, of contentment, flows through your body, shown outwardly by the massive grin on your face. You position yourself just above your partner, and craning your neck downward, you nuzzle her as your dance continues. With a quick beat of her wings, the agile mare, once again, rolls around you. Though this time, she softly lands atop your back, wrapping her forehooves around your neck in a tight, but not too tight, hug. She begins to flap her wings in time with your own, sending the two of you hurdling forward at an immense speed. You quickly get the feeling that her efforts are meant to guide you along more than to help negate the negligible extra weight.
You maintain your pace, even after your wings begin to feel tired, and before long, you're being guided down towards a hillside in the Swayback Mountains. The two of you come to rest upon a ridge overlooking a lone bridge. It crosses over a large river that flows down from the snow-capped peaks high above you. The entire valley is bathed in growing darkness as Celestia's sun is hidden by the mountains.
Fleetfoot flaps her wings once, pulling herself off of your back and landing next to you. The wind given off by her wings pushes a scent that you can't recognize into your nose, but as you take each successive breath, you realise that you're completely surrounded by it. It's the smell of the forest, the river, and the rocks. It's the smell of the natural beauty that surrounds you.
"We came here on our second date, two weeks after the Prom." She says, lightly leaning against your side. "My parents were so mad when we came back nearly five hours after I was supposed to be in." You can hear the smile in her voice, and you can almost even feel her happiness flowing, from her, into you. "We were still so awkward, so naïve." She rests her head against your shoulder. In turn, you lay your head across the top of hers amazed by its warmth. "Even then, I was so much in love."
After a few moments where the only sounds are that of the river below and of your breathing, you come to a conclusion. The scent of nature that surrounds you is a near perfect match to that of the mare beside you.
As you breath deeply, your mind plays back over every happy moment that you've shared over the last two months. You had shared so many tender kisses, the first being the one that had surprised her, on a cloud just outside of Cloudsdale. You had shared many moments of comfortable silence that you would not trade for the best conversation you've had with anypony else. You had shared so many things, things you could not have been happier to give so freely. But, there's one thing that you haven't done yet.
"I love you, Echo."
Her response is immediate; she scoots away from you. In tandem, both your head and your heart fall, one due to gravity and the other because of the fear that you've done something wrong. As you turn to look upon your love, you gather that your fear was quite unfounded. Tears shine across the mare's emerald eyes. At once, she grasps your face in her hooves and lunges towards you, locking her lips and yours in the most passionate kiss you've ever experienced. Your eyes immediately close as your mind is overcome by the sensation. Her tongue gently caresses your lips before sliding past to join with yours in a war that has no loser.
By the time the kiss ends, your head is spinning uncontrolledly. You're quite certain that your dizziness would cause you to fall over if you weren’t rooted in place by the mare's hooves against each cheek. You venture to open your eyes again, and you're met with Fleetfoot's own eyes, still glistening. Nonetheless, they're still so inviting and so beautiful. She gently nudges your head downward, allowing her to press her forehead against yours. Your breath mixes with hers as you both come down from the high of your kiss. Her forehooves move from your face and slide down your leg, grasping your forehoof tightly.
"Birdie," She begins. Her voice lacks its usual air of confidence, and you can see her nervously chewing her lip. Her hooves lightly tremble as they hold onto yours. Just as you are about to speak up, she continues, "About six months ago," she trails off again, bringing one of her hooves up to your face to stroke your cheek while the other firmly holds your hoof. A deep breath seems to calm her and restore some of her bravado. "About six months ago, we made love."
You feel yourself blush brightly. However, you remain silent, letting her do what she feels that she needs to.
"Though I didn't find out until months later, something wonderful happened that night." Her hoof draws yours towards her body, resting it softly against her stomach. In that spot, the toned muscles of her body give way to a less firm area. It seems to bulge outward ever so slightly and is incredibly warm, even compared to any other portion of the mare's body that your hooves have wandered.
"What I'm trying to say is… I'm pregnant, Birdie. We're going to have a little filly!"
Even from your head's odd angle, you can see tears flow from Fleetfoot's eyes, no doubt, from her apparent joy. You quickly wrap your hooves around her, drawing her into a deep hug. You're not sure about this, but she seemed so afraid of telling you this. Even as you're having second thoughts about the words you had uttered to her minutes ago, you hold her tight, unwilling to pass on any of your negativities to a mare who just told you something so very important.
In your mind, an eternity could pass between each breath of your lungs. Thousands of thoughts rush through your mind, many of which are obvious to anypony who has faced this.
Fear is heavily represented. You've just started to openly accept this mare back into your heart and now so many things will change. And what happens when the foal comes? Will she realise that you're not the stallion that she fell in love with, and that that little filly is the last gift he gave her? You don’t think that you could survive being left by another mare that you feel so strongly about.
Offering reassurance, Fleetfoot momentarily squeezes you tighter.
Dreams of happiness are equally well represented. Multiple scenes play through your mind in quick succession.
Before your eyes, your love sits in a darkened room with just the moonlight shining through a window to allow you to see. Cradled in her forehooves is a tiny filly, wrapped in a blue and yellow blanket. You can hear Fleetfoot coo soflty as she softly licks her foal's mane, grooming it in the same way that her mother did to her. You quietly move over to the two, and as you navigate the small room, emerald eyes lock with your own. A loving smile is all that is exchanged; it's always enough to convey what needs to be, though. You carefully squeeze into the large chair, in which Fleetfoot sits, just before you wrap your hooves around her and pull her into your lap. She sighs contentedly, laying her head against your chest. Against the odds, the three of you sleep soundlessly until Celestia's sun rises.
The crowd pulses around you. It's as if lightning was about to strike, and you've managed to get three front-row seats to what was rumored to be the most spectacular Wonderbolts show in years. You, however, know better. You met the new recruit well before she was even a recruit, back when she was just a prospect. You're nearly as anxious. Though, it's for a completely different reason. While others look to the sky, you look to your daughter Aria. The little purple filly sits atop her mother's withers, grasping the mare's ears in her hooves. A smile grows on your face as you watch her golden eyes go wide. In those spheres, you can see the reflection of a harmless explosion, tinted with every color of the rainbow.
Your last daydream was much shorter, but no less powerful.
Those words nearly broke you. They were one of the best things that you'd ever heard in your entire life, yet they were so simple. You had hoped that your own words were taken just as seriously, because you really don't want to have to wash your hoof off after you put it where you threatened to put it, if they weren't.
Watching your precious daughter walk off, nuzzling against the neck of a colt that you've just met causes you both great pain and joy. It's not until your love gently wipes the tears from your cheeks that you realise you'd been crying.
"What'd she say?"
"I love you, Daddy."
Your consciousness reestablishes itself in reality just in time to figure out that while you were lost in thought, you had drawn your love into a long, passionate kiss. She pulls away, gasping for breath.
You venture to open your eyes, noting the wetness that resides within them. For a split second, an ethereal pink heart surrounded in a light blue aura can be seen fading out of existence right before your eyes. Shaking it off, you turn your eyes back to your mare just as she begins to speak.
"Thank you, Birdie. I was so afraid I would lose you over this, but I'm going to start showing soon, and I didn't want you to find out like that." Once again, you place a hoof softly against the mare's belly, letting it rest against the soft flesh there. After a quick moment, her hoof joins yours. Your vision is drawn down by the surprising sensation of her hoof holding yours, cradling it into her body, but they quickly return to the source of the wonderful emotions flowing through your body. For a scant moment, your eyes lock, and a silent exchange is made.
In that moment, you couldn't be more certain.
In that moment, words aren't necessary.
In that moment, your touch speaks volumes.
It speaks of your fears.
It speaks of hers.
It speaks of your eternal love.
By her.
For her.
And in that moment, your touch garners her understanding.
Death itself has claimed you, yet you found her again.
You will never stop loving her, and she will never stop loving you.
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This looks very, very promising. Probably the first fic I've seen today without an error in the summary. I'll be adding this to my read later list; I'm a sucker for sadfics.
Well i liked the ending. I thought you were going to fuck with everybody and end it sad and at one point while reading this chapter i thought you were going to have them both crash and loose there memories...again(i know she never lost her memorie in the first place but still) and were just going to end it that way. And i liked it alot it ended right where it should. Oh and the daydreams just made it fucking amazing it was certainly(i said cerainly because definently is one of the many words i cant spell) my favorite part of the chapter by far!
I enjoyed this ending better than the original. It felt more right and more complete.
Bravo on finishing such a wonderful, heartwarming story. I look forward to your future works.
And so ends possibly the most enticing story I have yet to read on this site. I've truly enjoyed this all the way through; the ups, downs and everything in between just got to me so perfectly. Words can barely describe it (even if they could, I wouldn't for risk of leaving spoilers).
Thank you Agarwaen, for that brilliant connection with the characters that not many can successfully pull off.
938870
Ya i know i told the author before that i fucking hate the original ending and want to print it and burn it BURN IT WITH FIRE!!!! Ya i hated the original ending. But i LOVED this one!! (why does no one ever get as exited as me on here?)
God Damn. That was a some seriously good writing. And though this is good I still prefer the Redheart ending. Because as much as Fleetfoot wants Nighthawk nurse Redheart deserves him more.
ok then.
Jack-Pony.exe has ceased functioning.
Reason: Overload.
939124 Alright, this is getting frakking ridiculous. Try to leave comments that say more than the same two words!
That gave me feels.
I preferred Fleet ending to Reheart ending, but the other was alright too.
A proper Sad ending, though... Third ending! Fleet is rejected by an unknowing Birdy. He runs off to Red. Red ousts him. Fleet, however, suicided in the intrim, driven to desperation from loss. He is informed by Nurse Joy (seriously?) that his ensuing stormcloud tantrum ripped a wing-muscle, and he can't fly for the 'bolts anymore. Rainbow, a filly only 75% his age, decides to take him in, but he cannot bring himself to care after triple heartbreak, and throws himself off her cloud house. Then Rainbow is called in by Pinky to help her make special cupcakes, and everypony was happier because they were good cupcakes, and no main characters were long-term effected.
But yeah, amnesia is not a fun thing when there's long-term relationships involved. For some reasons, parts of this story reminded me of Katawa Shoujo. Probably just the heavily hospital environment setting. Thumbs-up.
Just finished all eighteen chapters in one go. This story is truly wonderful. Thank you for that.
you, are a genius. 'nuf said
Holy fuck that was an emotional rollercoaster
Not to say that it was bad! By no means was this not an amazing story! It's just.... It was a bit emotionally exhausting
Also, I liked the alternate ending better, though I would have liked to see Nurse Redheart again with a special somepony; I.E. happy.
Phew, I'm going to bed...
940226 (Ug, me too! I find it hard to put down a story and then come back to it; I'd prefer to read it all at once. Besides; good stories always addict me so that I can't put them down XD )
Alright, just finished reading start to finish, it was really good. Gotta say though I thoroughly despised the first ending and thoroughly loved this one, all and all its a great story.
938860 Hehe, and here I was expecting an angry rant. Though, I appreciate those just as much, I think that I like this better.
938870 938906 939063 940226 940406 I'm truly glad that you folks enjoyed the story. When I first started this, I never imagined that I would get as good of a turnout as I have gotten. It's properly mind boggling.
938927 Ahh, there it is dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_dayum.png lol.
940411 I'm the same way, I prefer to read things in one sitting as opposed to over time. It maximizes the story's impact, for me at least.
939440 939898 Thanks for the spot on my 'everyone,' I'm normally pretty good about those. And believe it or not, this story was not originally intended to have the sad tag at all. So, a sad ending won't likely happen. Also because I hate, hate, hate sadfics. These ponies deserve more than that. They're beautiful creatures that, more so than humans, deserve happiness in their lives, and I won't take that away for our own amuzement. Wait, I've already done that, haven't I? Never mind, Carry on. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_hmph.png
mmmmmm, very good, very good indeed, no errors as far as I can tell, and beautiful endings, I must say this is one of the more lovely fictions I have read in my time here. Have a stache
938621 Then you'll like my newest fic that I'm still working on
I'll send you the overview in a PM
MMMMMMMUUUUUUUCCCCCHHHHHHH better ending however he could've gotten his memory back. that would've made me cry
939789...dafuq are you talking about?
When your child tells you that he or she loves you, your heart will always melt.
941242 Agreed =)
941242
Well it might not always be angry(mostly is) but its always a rant. And hey that was hard for me to say i am so much more....experianced with angry rants and i do fucking LOVE them. So i did both. To bad the story is over im going to miss this talking. Some people dont reply and most people dont enjoy it when i show emotion to there story. True its not always positive feelings but still. Its been fun!
Well that was a real fun ride! Thanks for this. I have enjoyed following the story, and I really liked both endings. Many feels have been had. Nice work!
That was beautiful.
Just sat down and read the entire story from start to finish. This alternate ending is definitely my favorite of the two though
, the Redheart ending was good but had a very bitter-sweet feel to it.
962003
Yeah, that's the thing. Not including a reason for why a character acts strangely makes the writing seem unnatural, instead of the character. Even so, I still don't think real interaction between two people would go like that. The best trick I learned to tell if dialogue is wonky is a very simple one: reading it out loud. For all I know, you already do this, but I feel that section deserves another look. If it sounds weird coming out of your mouth, it's going to sound weird in the reader's mind. It's a way of disconnecting yourself from your work.
I can imagine Tenderheart interrupting the monologue, going, "Woah, woah, woah. Ok, why exactly have I never heard all this before?"
Also, if you recognize that the way these characters are acting is in-fact strange, then tell the reader up front instead of referencing to it later. You can have the two leads fall head-over-heels; you can have them act like lovesick fools, but the story has to show that it's strange, and that the characters are confronted with that strangeness. Second-Person narrator has less of a reason to be self-aware of this, being drugged up, hallucinating, and in pain, but I can't imagine Redheart wondering, as she does earlier, "Why am I intensely attracted to a post-op patient I only met a few days ago?" then throw those thoughts over her shoulder like a bad habit and start making out with him on the hospital bed. It's completely unprofessional behavior. Not that the character can't do that, it's just that you have to support it properly.
How does a nurse lose all professional decorum and start making out with a patient she only met just recently? Does she realize that this is strange? If not, is she confronted with that strangeness either very quickly, or before the scene takes place? Etc... I sort of expected Tenderheart to confront Redheart over her going crazy for an admitted patient currently under their care, but it seems that she's actually supporting her.
963879
It shows my amateur side when I admit that I intended to put stuff in about this, and then, it got swept under the rug as I was going along. Well, I'll learn from it. After all, this is the first thing I've ever written. Never took any writing or literature classes in school, so this truly is a learning experience. Thanks for the write up. I'll probably do some rewriting in the future, but not terribly soon, though. I've got to focus on not screwing up what I'm currently writing. After that, I'll come back to this and add in some of the stuff I originally intended to because it seems like I was on the right track in the first place.
964353
If this is your first ever, you're doing pretty good! Unless you're going to make an EqD run, I would say leave it as is and apply whatever new stuff you've learned to new material. It's more fun that way.
Something really really really really minor. It's this:
"As much as I just wish to be rid of it, I think i do need to know."
^^
Wat is tat.
Chapter 4 btw. Real minor. No need to fix. I read this after checking out your profile
979064 Clearly, someone rolled an exclamation mark over. (Must've taken a curve too fast dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png .) I better call my insurance company and put in a claim.
lol. Fixed, thanks for the spot.
These great alternate endings drove an axe down my grasp on this stories reality!
Both ending are great.
you made one of the best shipping fic I have ever readied.
10/10
I vote for RedHeart ending
I like both endings, and I'm not saying Redheart doesn't deserve anyone, but I still think Fleet is the better choice. I mean, think about it. Fleet was with him for 12 years, AND she is pregnant with his foal. He's only been with Redheart for a couple of weeks. I feel really bad for Redheart, but Fleet is the best choice.
Best ending.
Wanted to thank you Agarwaen for this story. It was a great read and although there was times I wanted to rip my hair out, I also knew that then was a sign that this was truly good. I hope your future literature works only excels this and propels you further. Best of luck.
This.
Was.
Beautiful.
Amazingly written, heartrenching, and conflicting. How are you so damn good. There was a couple time I went around the house telling everyone how much of an 'asshole this author is,' but in the end I'm happy with both endings even though they both make me sad. I'm recommending this read to everyone and will be watching you. I expect big things mr. Agarwaen, BIG THINGS!!!
1646611 It is a good read, even if the ending isn't what I, personally, wanted it to be. It's full of suspense and is quite well-written.
I'm glad that people are still finding this entertaining. Even as I write about other things and ponies, my heart is still dead set on what I built with Redheart and Fleetfoot. I hope I'm lucky enough to be able to revisit their story sometime.
It still makes me feel great when people complement my stories, and I hope that never changes.
Thanks, everypony.
OH GOD, ALL THESE FEELS.
In both of the endings, I damn near cried at the losses of whomever "I" did not go with.
I've read too many emotional fics today, I need to go curl up in a ball and cry for a few hours.
You and your stuff author...
You emotionally drained me for the past two days and almost made me cry! 
Best second person fic I've ever read. That is all.
4215394
Fixed, sorry. I'm not really active in this kind of thing anymore, but I just happened to see your comment and figured DA changed the url. Turns out, they did.
This fic is so good I had to write a song about it.
Dude, I don't care how old this story is...
This is a really great second person fanfic and an even greater love story.
It's old, cheesy, and even a little quick, but I don't care, it's great
I only hope you can make another great second person fic as this one.
:)
A truly amazing story! Loved every moment.
This was a much needed break from clopfics. Thank you.
4552923 Great job on this song bruh. Really liked it.
941242 And to you, I take my hat off to. Really sad and great story.
I feel like I'm getting to this story late by almost 3 years. But it's so good. I honestly liked the original ending better (>>spooky opinion). But they were both just as well written.
I really enjoyed reading this, and while I This was magnificently paced and thought through with a story that fit well for the characters (I love stories centered around background characters because they don't have a personality built by the show, so you can build their own). This is easily my favorite 2nd person story, and my 2nd favorite story on this site. (1st being 'To Find A Rainbow' by Jeremy Storm -NSFW WARNING-)
This is the first fic I've read that has actually genuinely made me cry (tear up is more of a better term I guess, there was no flow, just watery clouded eyes).
I normally don't write comments on stories, but oh my god was this a work of art. Bravo.
*Edit* Just like many other accounts that were made 3 years ago; inactive. Sad, really, as this is your only finished lengthy fic and you're a hell of an artist. If you read this, I just want to let you know that even if it's not your job. Keep writing. Because this is blooming professional level stuff. And again, Bravo.