Updraft
Your heart is racing faster than a Wonderbolt, and your lungs feel like they are going to explode. Still, you dare not pull back for fear that this magnificent act will never happen again. The feeling of hope, joy, and comfort overwhelm all of the discomfort of your body urging you to break away from the paradise of Nurse Redheart’s lips. It’s not until your head starts to spin, that you dare to break the kiss.
“Wow.” The words come from the white mare’s mouth as a breathless whisper, barely audible over the quiet song playing through the radio’s speaker. Opening your eyes, you are met with the sight of her radiant sapphires, glistening with tears. Her hoof is pressed up against her lips. The look of surprise and amazement on her face brings a small smile to your face and makes your head feel light enough to float off your neck. Her expression quickly changes, and before you are able to ascertain what it means, your stomach is forcefully jabbed with her hoof. The force of the impact makes your body try and cough, but with no air in your lungs, it is more like a dry heave.
“BREATHE!”
Without missing a beat, Nurse Redheart presses her lips against your open mouth and exhales, forcing her warm, sweet breath past your tongue and into your lungs. Possibly knowing what happens next, she quickly pulls away. As soon as her lips left your mouth, you bury your muzzle into the bed and begin to cough. When that had passes, you gulp in as much air as physiologically possible. After a few more fits of coughing, the pain of your burning lungs begins to recede. The fear in Nurse Redheart's eyes was something that brought extreme guilt to your heart.
Her voice echoes through your mind.
Clear…
She opens and closes her mouth a twice, as if she is trying to speak but is unable. The white mare takes a slow, deep breath before trying again.
“Please, don’t… Don’t do that to me. I can’t watch you die again…” Before you can even think about it, your body decides to rush forward, pulling her into a tight hug, and pressing your face deeply into on her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, so sorry…” you mutter into her coat, hoping her silky fur will hide how truly upset you are. The white mare’s warmth envelopes you as she leans in and nuzzles your neck gently. After a moment, you pull away from her, leaving a wet, matted spot in her coat. You then retract your body from the awkward angle it had assumed, hanging wildly off the clinic bed. It takes a considerable amount of adjustment to get yourself comfortable again; you finally come to rest, mostly, on your back. Upon finishing your readjustments, you watch as Nurse Redheart pulls a floor cushion over to your bedside and proceeds to sit upon it.
“Have you thought about what you are going to do, now that you are free to leave the clinic?” A pang of fear creeps back into your heart.
“I’ve been trying to avoid thinking at all, let alone thinking of what I might do in a world I don’t even know. In the end, I think I’ll just have to get a job wherever I can. I don’t have a place to stay or any money to rent a place, but after being dead, I guess it’s not that bad, right?”
“I’m pretty sure that dead is the worst it can get, but having not experienced it, I can’t say for sure.On a happier note, I think you need to find out what your special talent is. Nearly everypony around here has a job, at least, relating to what they do best. My nursing staff, myself included, has a knack for caring for hurt ponies. Twilight Sparkle has a special talent for learning magic. Naturally, she is the librarian. Et Cetera. Ponyville would be a much worse place if ponies were stuck at jobs they hated, just so they could survive.”
“So, basically I’m a full grown stallion and a foal at the same time.” You let out a long sigh, not sure you’ll ever shake this hopelessness. The white mare beside you seems more than a little annoyed at your response.
“You really need to shake this mood of yours, and I need this bed for another patient. Go to the spa next door, get a massage, and have a mineral bath. If you tell them I sent you, they’ll do it gratis.”
“Aren’t spas where mares go to get beautified? Not sure they do stallions.”
“They are a lot more than just some beauty salon. Mares, stallions, colts, fillies, it doesn’t matter, they can help anyone relax. Just trust me and go.”
***
The jingling of a doorbell startles you as you enter the Luxury Lotus Spa; at least, that’s what the pink and blue sign out front says. “Why does everypony have a bell on their door?” You mutter to yourself, a bit cross at it for the image of a knife sunk into your flesh that it conjured in your head. The spa is a relatively small building; its walls are coated in a dark blue stucco finish, with periwinkle accents. The décor is accented with multi-colored filigree, and large, tropical potted plants are scattered throughout the room.
“Welcome to ze Lux—“ You swear that you can hear the sound of a jaw hitting the floor. Behind the spa counter is a Cyan mare with a pink mane pulled back behind a white headband, her mouth is agape. She blinks a few times before quickly resuming her introduction. “Ze Luxuree Lotus Spa, Je m’appelle Lotus… Euhhh… Forgeeve me for being deerect, but what happened to you?”
You figured this would come up sooner, rather than later. On the short walk from the clinic, which happens to be next door to the spa, you were pelted by 4 cherry pies. Luckily, they weren’t fresh out of the oven, and most of your skin survived the assault of the hot pie filling that was now dripping off you and onto the floor. “A very ditzy mailmare dropped her delivery of pies on me. Luckily it wasn’t anything that could have killed me. I’ve been through that once already.” The grey mare had been very apologetic about the whole incident, and you decided that it would be in your best interest to forgive her and get as far away from her as possible, preferably indoors. Or underground.
“Really?” The cyan spa pony seemed be considering whether or not you were exaggerating your claim. “Eef we leeve zat cherry all over you, eet is sure to stain your coat. Might I recommend a meeneral bath? Eet is very relaxing, has many benefits, and, most of all, weell get that pie feeling out of your coat.” The spa pony was beaming as she finished her recommendation, and her eagerness to help you relax was very convincing.
“I was actually sent here by Nurse Redheart. She told me that I should visit your mineral baths, and then have a massage. She told me that it would help the swelling in my body go down.”
“Very good, I weell show you to the baths, then.” You follow the blue spa pony as she moves from behind the counter, and leads you down a hallway dotted by many separate rooms and closed doors. As you move farther down the hallway, the temperature and humidity rise; it is obvious that the sauna and hot baths are getting closer. Lotus comes to a stop, and opens a door near the end of the hallway. You can see that at the end of the hallway is a large room that seems to be radiating heat. Looking back to Lotus, she is extracting a bathrobe and a set of very plush looking towels from a large trot-in closet. She closes the door, and leads you further down the hallway, into the large room at its end. As you enter the room, you can see that the left half of the room is dotted by mudbaths, sunken into the floor. The other half of the room has several large, steaming in-floor baths with crystal clear water. Directly ahead of you, the wall is no longer blue stucco, it is raw hardwood that gives off a reflective sheen, and has a single wooden door in it.
Lotus moves over to one of the baths, places the towels on a bathside table, and hangs the robe on a small hook. “Thees weell be your bath, just relax and let the water wash away your worries. Please be careful getting een the water ees very hot. My seester, Aloe, weell come by to get you when eet ees time for your massage.”
“Thank you,” you say with a nod. The blue spa pony returns your gesture, and leaves the room, presumably going back to the lobby.
Moving over to the bath, you prod the water with a hindhoof, testing its temperature. Just as you were warned, it feels something like lava mixed with plasma from the heart of Celestia’s Sun. Or at least, that’s the first thing that popped into your mind as you quickly pulled your hoof away from the offending liquid. Surmising that the nice spa ponies would not heat the water to a point that it would harm their patrons, you return your hoof to the water slowly. Keeping your hoof submerged in the water, the pain turns into comfort, and soon you find yourself dipping both of your rear hooves into the soothing substance. Slowly, the warm embrace draws your body in further and further, until you are submerged up to your neck. You let out a slow, relaxed sigh as you move slowly over to an area of the bath that seems to be designed where you can comfortably lie on your back. There is even a small pillow built into the tiling around the bath. It doesn’t take long to move yourself into a comfortable position. Lying there, the heat of the water relaxes your mind and body. Soon, your eyes drift closed, and your mind can only focus on the rhythmic beating of your own heart.
***
Muffled words bring you back into consciousness. Your eyes feel like lead, but you slowly pry them open. Bright white light momentarily blinds you, as you vision returns to normal, the figure of a pony comes into view. The entire world around you is cast in an indistinct haze; the small room you are in seems familiar, its nondescript white walls somehow common feeling. Even this bed you are laying in is just a white haze. White linens, white bed, white everything. Unintelligible, muffled words draw your attention back to the pony in the room with you. Turning to face the figure, you can see that the pony in front of you is... White. *Beep…* HA. The first definitive thing in this world. *Beep* A warm feeling is momentarily brought to your heart as you look over the pony in front of you. Her pastel pink mane is pulled back into a tight bun, and partially hidden under her nursing cap. She’s now right in front of you. *Beep* More muffled words meet your ears, this time your body seems to react without your mind’s action. You can feel as your mouth moves, and hear as sounds escape your mouth. What your brain processes, though, is too homogenous to understand. It’s strange then, how the white pony reacts to what you sensed to be completely incomprehensible. She places a hoof to her mouth and lets out a series of feminine giggles that send warmth to the very core of your being. *Beep* You can see her move over to a table at your bedside, she retrieves a small quill-light from a drawer. Placing her forehooves onto your bed, she leans in close to you. A sweet floral scent graces your weakened senses. Flipping her quill-light on, she shines it directly into one eye before pulling it away. This action repeats a couple of times, and then moves on to your other eye. *Beep* She finishes her examination, makes a note on your chart at your bedside, and begins to leave the room. Once again, you can feel your mouth moving, and sounds escaping, but you can only make out two words.
“…, Nurse Redheart.”
“You should go back to sleep. Your body really needs the rest right now.”
As the white mare moves toward the exit of your small room, she turns back, a smile on her face, and gives you a small wave goodbye. A wave of blissful warmth permeates your entire body, this time it does not fade. It’s embrace lulls you back into the abyss of sleep.
***
The piercing scream of a panicked mare pulls your mind into cognizance. Startled, your body tries to jump from its resting place, even before your eyes can pull themselves open, but your limbs are held firm by something you can only describe as impenetrable Jello. Behind it lies an immeasurable, unyielding force, but it is ever shifting and flows like water. When your confused and addled mind finally forces your eyes open, the world is cast in a pastel purple haze. With a powerful thud, your body strikes the ground, but no sensation of pain or discomfort accompanies the act of being forcefully placed on your back on the cold tile floor. The world begins to return to its normal colors; the dissipating purple aura lingers longer in some spots than others.
“…bealivePleasebealivePleasebealive...” You immediately recognize the voice of Twilight Sparkle, repeating the same three words endlessly over and over. Her deep purple mane crosses in and out of your vision quickly; looking down towards your body, you can see her head is facing away from you as she quickly presses her right ear against your chest. The purple pony pulls her head away from your body, and turns to face you. As your eyes meet hers, she jumps quickly jumps back a few hooves; with a small yelp, she stops her repetitive babbling.
“Twilight, what’s—“ Seemingly realising that you were, indeed, alive, she rushes you and quickly wraps you in a hug. Her blabbering starts up again, this time she’s repeating
“…Thankyouthankyouthankyou…”
“Twilight,” you say as you try to pull away from her attack hug. Unfortunately, you are pressed between the tile floor, and the purple unicorn that is pretty much laying on top of you.
“…Thankyouthankyouthankyou…”
“TWILIGHT!!” The prattling purple pony proceeds to pull herself back to her hooves. Once her body is no longer pressed up against your own, you begin to right yourself as well. Twilight points her horn at you, and it lights up with her lavender aura. As the points her horn at different parts of your body a tingling sensation accompanies her magic. Her horn lingers longer on your wing than anywhere else, the tingling giving way to a cool, soothing feeling. When she is satisfied, she sits on her haunches and nervously hangs her head just below her shoulders.
“I’m sorry for waking you like that, but when I saw you laying there in the bath. The water looked so much l-like…like… Just look at it!” As you finish clamouring to your hooves, your eyes meet the dark red pool of liquid that you had been resting in. There are multiple trails of the crimson liquid that lead over into another small pool directly below your, still dripping wet, body. Looking back to Twilight, you trace a tiny pool of clear liquid back up to her sad, teary eyes. The loud clamour of hooves can be heard from the hallway leading to the large common bath area.
“Twilight, you have nothing to be sorry for. That is the second time you came rushing to try and save my life. And here I am, after being crushed beneath a building. Alive and, for the most part, well.” You hear a quiet sniffle come from the purple unicorn as she raises her head, a solemn expression on her face.
A pink mare emerged from the hallway and slid to a halt on the slick tile flooring. “I heard a scream, ees everypony alright?” Catching sight of the pink mare caused you to do a double take. Her voice was nearly identical to Lotus, the spa pony that you met earlier, her mane was styled in the same pulled back look, and she wore the same white headband and necklace. Her eyes were even the same deep azure, but her colors were completely reversed. Where Lotus was cyan with a pink mane and tail, this pony was pink with a cyan mane and tail.
“Everypony is fine, Aloe. I just got a little frightened when I saw the bathwater he was in.” The pink spa pony jumped a little when she saw the crimson pool.
“Sacreblue! Lotus told me of your, strange, entrance. You must have been covered from head to hoof een cherry feeling to cause the water to be that color.” Aloe immediately moved to the towels left by Lotus on the bathside table, giving one to you to dry yourself off, and pushing the second around with a forehoof to dry the floor. Twilight stood, and regarded you.
“I read in Egghead’s Guide to Mental Stress that one of the best ways to cope with these kinds of events is to talk about them. I think it would be best, for both of us, if you were come speak to me at the library. It’s the only enormous oak tree in town that has been made into a building. You can’t miss it. In the meantime, I need to go speak with my good friend Rainbow Dash about a book that is well overdue.” On the last word, a few strands of Twilights well groomed mane sprung up out of place and her voice took on an inflection that you could only describe as menacing. You waved goodbye as the purple mare left, now a little apprehensive about visiting the library.
Drying yourself off with the plush towel that was given to you was a quick affair, all the moisture in your coat seemed to leap at the chance of being absorbed by its abundant softness. Pulling the towel over your head, you use a hoof to dry your mane. Aloe is standing in front of you, a hoof held out to take the towel once you are done drying your mane. As you hoof it over, she motions to follow her, and drops both towels into a hamper by the hallway she leads you into.
“Those wet bandages should be removed from your eenjured wing. Een that state, they can cause a sereeohs eenfection.” About half way down the hallway leading back to the waiting room, the pink spa pony leads you into one of the side rooms. The room is the same color as the rest of spa, but one wall is lined with a single row of polished hardwood cabinets, and has a cushy looking, white table in the middle. “Please get up on the table, there. I’m going to get some seezors to cut those bandages off.” Moving onto the table, the firm padding supports your body, and provides comfort no matter how you move.
“Are you sure you should be using scissors around my wing? You could clip a feather.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not just a spa pony and masseuse. I’m also a licensed Chiropractor, and that means I went to at least as much Medeecal School as anypony that works een the cleeneec next door.“ The pink spa pony sits at your side, placing a small set of angled scissors on the table next to you. Aloe grabs your wing gently in her hooves, and begins to unfold it. Surprisingly, this time, there is no pain; your muscles just feels a little stiff. Grabbing the scissors precariously in her mouth, the spa pony places them under the bandages at the apex of your wing. She carefully moves down your wing, snipping the bandages. She stops when she reaches the point that your primaries attach to your flesh. Using her hooves, she peels the sopping wet cloth away, revealing your scarred, dishevelled wing. She retrieves a small towel and pats the appendage dry. As the cyan maned pony puts the wet towel in an aptly placed hamper, your curiosity gets the better of you. You slowly move your wing through its natural range of motion. When that yields no pain, you give it a good flap. The muscles seem sore, but the sharp pains you felt earlier today are curiously gone.
“Looks like you are happy to get that wing back een action.” You hadn’t realised that a massive grin had formed on your face until the pink spa pony brought it up.
“Yeah. I guess I am. Now that I think about it, it feels really good. It’s...” You pause for a moment to try and put your thoughts into sentences. “After all I’ve been through, having my body, in its entirety, back gives me the one thing I think I need right now. It gives me… hope.”
“We should start your massage. Eet’s getting close to closing time. Lay your head down and we weell get started. And Eef you don’t mind, I’d like to hear what happened to you. Some extraordinary tales have been floating around about the nameless colt from the clinic. Although, eef you do not want to talk about eet, eet‘s none of my business anyway. I’m just cureeohs.” As you laid down completely on the soft table, her hooves moved up to your back and began to firmly rub away any remaining tension in your muscles. It took a non-trivial amount of consideration before you decided to tell Aloe about what happened to you. But this event was something you wanted to put behind you. Twilight had told you that one of the best ways to heal from a traumatic event was to talk about it. Something about her made you believe that she was right about that statement, too.
So as Aloe kneaded at your stressed and neglected muscles, you told her what you remembered of your accident, and what Twilight had told you that she had witnessed. As you regaled her with your story of life, and death her hooves moved from your back to the sore sides of your torso. At first the gentle pressure brought discomfort, but soon you could feel the swelling reduce and the soreness go away. You notice that part way through your story Aloe that has finished with her massaging, but she sits attentively on a floor cushion listening to your tale. When you get to the more recent portions of the story, you knowingly skip a few portions about Nurse Redheart.
“Nurse Redheart really does like you, then?” The pink spa mare leads you back down the hallway towards the entrance to the spa.
“Yeah,” you say before the weight of the question sinks in. “At least I think so.”
“And you really like her?”
Something had changed inside you. It’s almost as if some weight was lifted from your mind, freeing you to come to the realisation. “Without a doubt.” Everything Nurse Redheart has done for you played back through your mind.
The first time you saw her face, her head silhouetted by the bright medical lamp behind her. Her eyes were red, and a single tear ran down her cheek. That time she checked on you while you were still recovering from your concussion. Her smile. Her laugh. Her fear and sadness when she told you of your memories being lost forever. The comfort she gave when you were scared. The warmth that rushed through your body from her touch. The raging inferno that her kiss ignited in your soul.
After a moment, Aloe’s soft voice breaks through the waves of bliss playing through your mind.
“Good… She deserves a good stallion.” You’re still not so sure you fit the bill, but you’ll be damned it you aren’t even going to try.
“You know, everypony keeps telling me that I’m a good stallion, but I don’t even know who I am. How can you all be so sure of it?”
“Call eet a mare’s intueetion.” You let out a sigh at the spa mare’s failure to give a real answer to your question. Even so, nothing seems to weigh on you. Your memories have kindled a wildfire in your heart that cannot be quelled. As you re-enter the waiting room, you see a white mare sitting on a floor cushion near the far wall. Her pink mane down over her right shoulder and a copy of Cosmarepolitan held in front of her face.
Propelled by your wings, you make a running leap across the room. Your heart is racing faster than a marathon runner. As you reach the unsuspecting mare, you give a powerful beat of your wings to bring a halt to your momentum. The powerful gust of wind given off blows the magazine completely out of Nurse Redheart’s hooves, revealing her beautiful blue eyes wide with surprise. You firmly press your body up against her, pushing her back a few inches and up against the wall. When you stop, your face is only an inch away from her. Her ragged breath can be felt over your nose, bringing with it the sweet scent of lavender.
“Hey,” you say as calmly as possible.
“H-hi—“ Before she can finish, you press your lips softly against hers. The fiery passion in your heart rages with heat that can only be compared to Celestia’s sun. Your tongue presses past her partially open lips exploring her mouth. The taste of her saliva, the motion of her chest rising and falling with each breath, and the racing of her heart felt through her chest all serve to cause your wings to stand completely rigid, fully splayed out for the world to see. You feel the white mare’s hooves wrap around your neck, pulling you deeper into the kiss. Her tongue moves out to meet your own. Placing a hoof on her side, you run it gently down her body until you reach her cutie mark. This causes the content mare to moan into your mouth, a sensation that you are sure you will always enjoy. You venture to break the kiss, and quickly try and catch your breath. Nurse Redheart simply sits there, with blissful expression on her face. She nuzzles your face and whispers into your ear.
“That was amazing.” You tend to agree. A loud crash from behind the counter draws your combined attention. A cyan mane followed by a pink pony’s face comes into view from below the counter.
“Sorry! Treeped over a trash been.” The spa pony bent back down, seemingly to right the toppled trash can. Motioning for the door with your head you lead the white pony outside. “Bye, you two!” Aloe’s voice follows you out as the door closes.
During your time in the spa, Luna raised her moon, and the cool air of a spring night descended on the land. Sporadic clouds dot the sky, punctuating the endless number of twinkling lights of Luna’s night with pure darkness. You love the cool, damp feeling of the air as it passes through your nose.
“Sorry for, uhh… For lack of a better phrase, mouth-raping you in there.”
The usual confidence of the white mare seemed to crack a little. “It’s ok. I’ve never been kissed like that before, but I really liked it. What made you do it?”
“The short version is that I got talking to Aloe during the massage. It made me run over every minute of my life. I can’t really describe what I felt, but the best way is a fire burning in my heart. Excitement about the next time I’d see you, and fear that I never would. And because those descriptions were nothing compared to what I feel, I had to show you the only way I knew possible.” The white mare leans in and shares a short kiss with you, this one much more tender than the last. A shiver makes its way through your body as she pulls her lips away from yours. The pink maned pony presses herself up against your left side, apparently thinking the shiver she sent through your body was a sign of being cold. As the opportunity arises, you wrap your wing around her. The warmth of her body radiating into your sensitive appendage makes your head spin. As quickly as the sensation began, it ended. She pulls out from under your wing with a confused look on her face.
“You shouldn’t be using that wing yet. I imagine that has to be really painful.”
“Actually, I’m as surprised as you are. We removed the bandages after soaking in the mineral bath, and it didn’t hurt at all.”
“Pegasus bones do heal quickly, due to being hollow, but normally at this point there are sharp ridges where the bones healed together. Until they smooth out, they act a bit like a cheese grater when muscles pass over them. I’m sure you remember this morning.” You do remember this morning, and cringe at the memory. “Aloe and Lotus didn’t give you one of their ‘home remedies’ to help with the pain did they?”
“No, at least not while I was awake. Twilight Sparkle did levitate me, and then do some other magic that felt all tingly. But that’s about it.” The white mare quirked an eyebrow at this.
“Tingly? Like pins and needles followed by the feeling of cool water washing over your flesh?”
“Yes, that perfectly described it.”
“It sounds like she regenerated your wing, but we need to make sure. If she just calmed the nerves, your bone could be shredding your muscles every time you move it.” That was all the explanation you needed to keep your wing folded tightly against your body. You had only had it back for maybe an hour, and you already loved what it could do. “Let’s go visit Twilight Sparkle before it gets too late.”
***
Twilight wasn’t kidding, the tree that the library was built in was absolutely massive. Its windows exuded the light of lanterns; the brightness rising and falling as the magically sustained fire danced and shifted. Judging by the outside, this library had to be at least 6 stories tall, and housed two outdoor balconies. Not noticing that you had stopped to gawk at the architecture, Nurse Redheart had already knocked on the door. As you trotted to catch up, the door was sheathed in a familiar purple glow and flung open, revealing a quite tired looking Twilight Sparkle.
“—a quick question about my Coltfriend.” You have to supress the urge to bounce up and down, wave your forehooves in the air, and squeal like a little filly. A smile will suffice, you decide.
“Sure, come in. But please be quick, I had a rough day after the spa, and I’d like it to just be over.” You shudder, the overdue book crosses your mind.
“You said you were going to retrieve a late book from a pony named Rainbow Dash, right?” Twilight visibly sighs.
“Yes. The things I had to do to get that book back were just terrible, but she deserved it. She checked that book out 3 weeks ago. That’s overdue by two week! 14 days! A FORTNIGHT! What if somepony else wanted to read it? That pony can be so selfish sometimes. So, it was my duty to Celestia to go get that book back from her by any means necessary!” By the end of her rant, your mouth is hanging widly open at the amount of malice this pony can bring to bear over a thing as simple as an overdue book. Looking to Nurse Redheart for support, her expression is unreadable; so, after an awkward silence, you a question that you’re not sure you want the answer too.
“W-what did you do to her?”
“I had to go to her cloud-house, and pull it down to the ground with magic. Considering she keeps it over 100 hooves in the air, that was difficult. She refused to open the door. So, I turned it into steam.” Her voice carried more anger than you knew possible from such a nice looking mare. “She was clutching the book in her hooves, with it pressed up against her chest. I backed her into a corner, and I… I…” She looked dejected, her broke up on the last word, and her head hung in shame. “I had to… fine her two bits. TWO BITS! It was so horrible.” Surprised doesn’t even begin to describe what you are feeling right now.
“Twilight, I think you’re overreacting again. Remember that time with your Smarty Pants doll?” Nurse Redheart places a supportive hoof around Twilight’s withers. “There is nothing wrong with fining for overdue books. Is it any different than anypony else getting paid for what they do?”
“No, I guess it’s not.” The purple pony seems a bit less distraught over the, in your opinion, trivial matter. “So what was it that you wanted to ask me about, Nurse Redheart?” The white pony unwraps her hoof from the purple mare and moves back to your side.
“Just about a spell you cast at the spa. Did you happen to heal his wing?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say I healed it, it was already mended. I just smoothed out the surface where the fractures had regrown. I’ve studied a lot of healing spells, but I lack the practical experience to do anything major. Even resurfacing the bone was a bit difficult.” Twilight looks at you, a glimmer of happiness in her eyes. “How does it feel?”
You push yourself into the air with a powerful flap of your wings, and hover a few hooves from the floor. “The muscles were stiff at first, but now everything feels normal.”
“We were just a little worried that maybe he just wasn’t feeling the pain, and about the possibility of the muscles getting torn on the bone.”
“Ah, the Cheese-grater effect,” Twilight interjects.
“That’s what it’s actually called?” You’re a bit bewildered.
“Well, it’s more of a technical term,” the white mare qualified.
“Do you two think it would be safe for me to go fly? It took me a little bit to figure out what it was, but ever since I got this wing back, I feel like I’ve had an urge clawing at the back of my mind to just go fly.”
“From what I read, most Pegasi have that feeling. That’s probably why you are still hovering, instead of landing. And from what I saw, your bone is good as new,” Twilight confirmed.
“And after only a week, there shouldn’t really be any atrophy. I’d say you should be fine. Just be careful,” added Nurse Redheart.
“Cool, I’ll be back in a little bit.” You land only long enough to use your legs to push your body back off the ground, flipping head-over-hooves backwards. Now with your head facing the open door and your body in a position not unlike a swimming backstroke, you use your wings to rotate your legs back under your body and propel yourself quickly outside.
Both mares are stunned at your show of athleticism. You’re long gone and will never hope to hear what they say next.
The white mare was the first recover. “Wow, he’s good.”
“Yeah, I think he’s done that before.”
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I'd like to start of by apologizing if there are any blatant errors in this. I spent about 6.5 hours last night doing 2 proofing runs on it. Only to figure out this morning as I was re-reading it that my first 4 hour long rough-to-working draft proofing run didn't ever get published to my Windows Skydrive. Therefore, my finishing proofing run still had a lot of the early errors in it that I had to fix. So now, that leaves me with parts that have been only proofed once. and I really dont want to spend my day re-re-re proofing simply because my save button didn't work. ahh, who am I kidding, no one reads this anyway.
Enjoy. I hope.
I laughed, at the bit where OC had the urge of going bit crazy when Redheart described him as coltfriend
Keep this up, Im fan of this story :). It's really good.
i really like your story its well written i dont think anyone who reads this is gonna freak out if just one or two grammar mistakes are there
So I just have to say:
-Intriguing plot and mysterious protagonist. Check!
-Unconventional love interest. Check!
-Incredible descriptions of the setting. Check! I could totally visualize the spa like I was there.
-No noticeable grammar mistakes, near perfect spelling. Check!
-Great formatting. Check! This story is easy to read and follow.
You win. This is as good a fan fiction as I've ever read. I cannot see any major problems with it. Keep up the good work; I look forward to reading the rest of this!
"You hadn’t realised that a massive grim had formed on your face until the pink spa pony brought it up."
lol it should be grin
how do you put a Grim on your face?
also it should be realized instead of realised
other that that, this is one of the best fanfics that i have read
If you tell them I sent you, they’ll do it gratis
If you tell them I sent you, they'll do it free of charge.
798280 Ty for pointing out the grin/grim
Realised is the way realized is correctly spelled in the rest of the world (not America).
798315 Both are correct and mean the same.
Thanks for the suggestions
Haha. Coltfriend= stallion going eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Twi = crazy librarian
I approve...
"BREATH!" (breth) vs. "BREATHE!" (breeth)
That's one of my pet peeves.
I'm sorry; I know that this is the last sort of thing an author wants to hear, but I'm completely drawn out of it and I can't finish. This isn't meant badly, but the pacing is off kilter and the characters are acting too unnaturally.
I won't downvote, because I know you put effort into this, and I was invested enough to be a little sad I wasn't motivated enough to finish.
961389 Understandable, I prefer this as opposed to the others that just leave without letting me know why. Can't ever improve if I don't know what's wrong.
Aloe and Lotus are Eastern European, not French.