This ending will take place, chronologically, after 'Love is Fleeting' and replaces 'Genuine' and 'From the End of all Things.'
Enjoy.
As Celestia’s sun broke the horizon, it brought its warmth to the cool, moist air of another beautiful autumn day. Overnight, a large nimbus cloud had brought a torrential flood to every corner of the Everfree, but in the early hours of the morning the monstrous wisp had calmed, its reserves drained, and its unsuspecting controller calmed.
The orange light of the sun radiating through the massive heavenly body roused a certain cyan Pegasus from her induced slumber. Multitudes of tiny droplets of cold water had formed on her coat overnight, leaving a strange tickling sensation on every inch of her stiff body. She laid there as long as she dare, too tired to get up but too uncomfortable to go back to sleep. Fleetfoot used her hooves to wipe the sleep from her tired eyes, hoping that they would be more prone to stay open afterwards. Carefully, she rolled over, looking at the multi-colour sky through blurry eyes. Her stomach was less queasy today than most mornings; she would usually spend her mornings with her hooves wrapped around the toilet bowl, retching any of the previous night’s leftover meal from her stomach. An uncomfortable groan left her lips as she brushed her hooves through her dishevelled mane.
It would still be months before she began to show, but as she ran her forehooves over her well-toned belly, she could feel a certain firmness that had developed recently. A feeling of awe overtook the mare as she considered the marvellous event taking place inside her body. Tears of joy were brought to her eyes as she pictured herself, cradling their foal.
Her foal…
It was a distinction that changed literally everything. A river of fearful tears replaced the much more welcome tears of joy. She was trembling as she spoke with her voice barely above a whimper, “Birdy, Please… I need you. I don’t know how to live without you, let alone handle this…”
***
You found, that night, that nothing makes time drag on nearly as well as a mind full of worry. Minutes felt like hours. Hours felt like weeks. By the time the first light of the morning sun began to crest the horizon, you felt that your mortal life stretched on as long as the immortal princess Celestia in the span of one night. You take a seat in the cushioned bay window that overlooks the golf course. On the horizon, Celestia’s sun is barely beginning to emerge from behind the, barely visible, Everfree. The simple, majestic sight seems to calm your frayed nerves when the sun’s warmth is absorbed into your dark coat. Your gaze is drawn to a cloud, far above the forest; the morning light cast it in the brightest orange glow you’ve ever seen.
As you stare, thoughtlessly, at the heavenly body, your heart sinks to the lowest low you’ve ever felt. No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to look away from the sight before your eyes. As the room around you fills with the bright, orange rays of the sun, the cold radiating from your heart spreads to every inch of your body.
“Why do I feel like this?” you question aloud, the shivering of your body clearly evident in your voice. Weakly, you rest your head against the cool glass of the window; your ragged breaths cause a haze of fog to spread outward from your muzzle. Overnight, you had thought about all of the differing possibilities that could happen today, but none of the feelings that they had invoked were this powerful. And now, all of this terrible emotion was brought to the surface, for as far as you can tell no reason. To say you’re confused is an understatement.
A warm, soft object brushes over your shoulder. ”Hey,” Nurse Redheart’s soft voice coos, “Come have some breakfast.” With the gentle coaxing of the white mare, you are able to pull yourself away from the window. As you carefully climb down onto your good hooves, you are able to take in the sight of the mare accompanying you. Through your blurred vision, you see her mane is terribly dishevelled, and the dark bags under her eyes reveal her apparent lack of sleep. She is wearing the same set of cute, pink socks that you caught her in yesterday, a sight that helps quell the tempest of sorrow in your heart. She raises a hoof to each of your eyes and wipes away tears that you never noticed you had shed; the fluffy clothing covering her hoof warms your seemingly frigid skin as it caresses your face gently.
The white mare turns and silently leads you into the dining room, where two steaming bowls of oatmeal have been set out for your breakfast. You take a seat at the table, on the same cushion that had played host to your impromptu romance. The musty smell wafting up from it brings back beautiful memories of your previous day’s exploits. As you eat your bowl of oatmeal, you can’t keep your eyes off of the tired mare across from you. You wish that you knew what was going on in her mind right now, but her face betrays little.
Any immediate hope of feeling better is quashed with the words that finally come out of her mouth. “You still have feelings for her, even without your memories, don’t you?” Her voice wasn’t angry, like it was in so many of the situations you thought about last night; it was somber.
“I don’t know.” It’s the truth; you have no idea why you wanted to return her last kiss or why you chased after her. “When I look at her, I feel like something is missing. It’s like my body and mind don’t agree. My mind told me I was crazy for even thinking of returning her kiss, but my heart yearned for me to press back, to savour her breath washing over me, and to reciprocate her feelings. But, all of that is completely and utterly irrelevant because I do know I have strong feelings for you, and I do know that my heart wants those same things for and from you.”
"It's not irrelevant, though, because I feel like I took something wonderful away from you,” the mare argued, her face contorting in sorrow. “And when I saw you staring out the window, my heart shattered. The longing I saw in your eyes wasn’t for me.” Your own heart plummets to the depths of your stomach when you see the look of abject regret play across her face. “I was selfish. I’m supposed to be a pony that is good at helping others. Yet, what I did was something that goes against the very fibers of my being. I succumbed to my own feelings, and I subjected two ponies to pain worse than what would have been.” She looks down and stares into her empty bowl.
You can’t believe what you’re hearing. The cold, grief in her words doesn't make it easy to form a response. Bewildered, you reach a hoof across the table and place it gently on hers, hoping to break the ice and fix this. But when she pulls away from your touch, you completely break down.
“Red?” you sputter out, as your vision clouds. “You can’t honestly say that what you feel for me is worth any less than what that other mare does.”
A long silence follows.
“Can you?”
“We’ve haven’t even known each other for a full two weeks. We may care for each other, but what we share isn’t love, not yet. And before the accident, you had spent nearly your whole lives together; that, is truly love.” You can feel the torrential flow of liquid running from your eyes and pooling on the hardwood floor in front of you.
“You don’t love me?” you choke out, your voice barely recognizable through your labored, panting breaths. “But if this isn’t love, why does it hurt so much?”
“Because you are vulnerable right now. After that kind of mental trauma, you are more prone to latch onto the first thing that makes you feel better. I, naively, took advantage of that. I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused you.” She gets up and begins to walk towards the kitchen. “I’ll call a carriage to take you to get you hoof looked at. After that, I think you should find the rest of the Wonderbolts and see about going home to recover.”
The cold in her voice mixed with the finality of her words finally did you in, and you collapse into a pile on the floor, crying your eyes out. Just yesterday, you had shared the happiest moment of your life in this very spot, but that was gone now. Just a bitter reminder of what you could have had. A few minutes later, the reserved mare returns.
“The cab is here,” she says, motioning towards the door. Weakly, you climb to your hooves and begin to hobble out of the dining room. It’s not more than a few hooves before you crash, weeping, down to floor. A sigh can be heard behind you, and a pair of hooves roughly pulls you back to a standing position. She guides you out, into the living room. The welcome warmth of her coat on yours no longer registers in your mind; instead, her shoulder is just a thing to lean on, and once you have been placed into the carriage, she wordlessly returns to her home, shutting the door behind her with an audible click.
***
The sun was quite a bit higher in the sky when Fleetfoot recovered the strength of will to calm herself down.
“Miss Fleetfoot?” A soft, yet regal voice called out from behind her. Turning to the pony addressing her, the cyan mare was immediately taken aback by her visitor. Before her was the pink Alicorn, Princess Cadence with her curly, tri-coloured mane swaying lightly in the breeze. “Aunt Luna told me that you might wish to speak with me. Though, she failed to mention why, but it’s quite clear to me now.” The royal took a seat next to the blue mare. “Who is he?”
A moment of silence passed before a response was given.
“His name is Nighthawk… Or, it was. He came to Ponyville about a week ago to set up for the Wonderbolts show. From what I’m told, he nearly died and has permanently lost his memory.” The mare paused for a second before she continued, “But that’s not the worst part. I had made plans to tell him the most wonderful news of our lives after what would be my final show. When he was recovering from his injuries, he fell in love with another mare.” Cadence winced visibly at this. “I wanted to try and get him back, but I couldn’t bring myself to hurt him by breaking them apart.”
The cyan pony paused. When she continued, she sounded crushed. “He could never hide anything from me… It was always his eyes, and I could see how much he loved her in them.” With her tale finished, the defeated mare turned her eyes to stare blankly at her hooves.
“True love is eternal. His mind may not know it,” the royal said, placing a supportive hoof gently against the blue mare’s shoulder, “but his body and soul still love you, Miss, and they will until the day he dies.”
The princess’ horn began to glow a bright teal, and a smile formed on her face. As her aura receded, she spoke tenderly, under her breath, “Little Aria…” She continued at a normal level, “Oh, Miss Fleetfoot, your foal is going to be so beautiful.” The cyan pony looks up to her princess, a glint of happiness forming in her eyes. “Would you like to see her?” Cadence was truly beaming, now. She had changed this mare’s mood from one of sorrow, and was about to bring her happiness beyond measure, evident by the mare’s glowing smile and furiously nodding head.
The Princess leaned over, pressing her long horn up against the cyan pony’s forehead. Fleetfoot’s vision was encased by the teal aura of magic. Out of the sea of blue, a small, pink form grew. As it moved closer, tiny legs could be seen. In time, every detail could be seen on the tiny filly. Her body was still mostly hairless, with only a small portion of her coat around her nose having grown in. It was a pale periwinkle. A few hairs of her mane had come in as well; she had her mother’s white mane. And then, as the spell began to fade, the foal seemed to turn to her look upon her mother, and the sight brought tears of joy to the mare’s eyes. Her foal had the same beautiful golden eyes as her father.
When she was returned to reality, Fleetfoot lunged forward at the Alicorn, wrapping her in a tight hug. Once the shock of the attack hug wore off, Cadence returned the hug fondly, and a smile returned to her face. “Thank you so much, Princess. That was the most wonderful thing I could have ever hoped to have seen.”
“You are so very welcome,” the royal responded. “It makes me so happy, to show you that no matter what happens with this stallion, beauty and love are still all around you.” The cyan mare released her grasp on the Alicorn, beaming.
Fleetfoot ran her hooves over her belly again, letting them rest on the familiar firmness. Tears of joy continued to slowly roll down from her closed eyes as she focused on her own heartbeat and the joy of the thought that it would be soon joined by another.
After a moment of silence, the rejuvenated mare spoke, “You did, Princess. And thank you again. I’m going to go tell my teammates. I think they will be happy to hear the news.” She said, eagerly getting to her hooves and preparing to take flight. “Goodbye.” The Princess bowed her head in acknowledgement as the cyan mare took wing, heading back towards the Wonderbolt’s stage and towards her new life of love.
***
Celestia must have taken pity on you because today was a day that Nurse Tenderheart didn't work at the clinic. You've just barely been able to pull yourself together, and dealing with her would have been a deathblow to your psyche. Today, you're being wheeled around the clinic by a doctor, but truly, you're just letting him do whatever he wants to get your ankle fixed. You couldn't be in a place that you hate more than you do this one. As such, you've decided to switch your brain off and just go with the flow.
After a few stops and being put into more than a few large machines, you're being outfitted with a large, stiff boot that will keep your entire leg immobile. A long winded explanation is given, but the only portion that registers in your mind is being advised to fly as much as possible and walk as little. Once your less-than-fashionable footwear is secured to your leg, the doctor wheels you back out to the main counter and asks you to wait here a moment. He trots over to a second pony, a grey and white mare with a cutie mark that looks sort of like a three branch candelabra. They appear to speak for a moment before the second pony ambles over, smiling.
"Hi there, my name is Helping Hoof. Your doctor told me that you might like to speak with me," the older mare states in a friendly tone. You simply stare back at her, through glazed eyes, neither willing nor able to muster any type of response. "Come now, young one. I can help you with whatever is going on, but you have to give me something to work with."
You rise from your wheelchair. "The last mare to try and help me from this place wormed her way into my heart before ripping it out and shitting on it. That just happened this morning. So, you'll forgive me if I pass on the offer," you spew, spite dripping from your voice. Without another word, you walk defiantly out of the clinic, leaving behind two completely stunned doctors.
As you exit the clinic, you immediately unfurl your wings and take to the skies. A different fire burns in your heart as your remorse turns to hatred, and the world around you is nothing more than that of a multicolored blur as your body is fueled by the seemingly endless emotion. Climbing higher into the sky, you roughly crash through a large cloud, leaving a clean hole through it. Immediately after exiting the vaporous mass, you angle your wings and pull into a tight loop. You can feel immense pressure on the top of your feathers and cool water form on their surface as the compression of the air over your wings forces the humidity to condense on the upper surface of your feathers. To an outside observer, one would be able to see a white cloud of condensation form on top of your wings.
Completing your loop, you glide on a path parallel to the surface of the large cloud you just burst through. Your hooves barely skim across the giant, causing a strange, jolting sensation to run through your body. Looking down, lightning courses through your legs and into the cloud beneath you. The longer you glide atop the cloud, the darker the giant becomes, and when your speed drops to a point that forces you to land, a blinding flash and deafening crack surge forth.
For a time, you stand on the edge of the great maelstrom, catching your breath. The shifting wind throws your mane about in any direction it pleases. Far below, at the edge of the Everfree, an oak tree crumbles, and smoke rises from the once great hulk.
And so it begins, the second great shitstorm of our time.
I want to come right out and say this. I am not writing this alternate ending because I'm "selling out". As a writer, my job it to take the stories in my head and put them to paper. And this story is coming from no ones head but mine. My biggest fear with publishing this, is that people might think I'm doing it for ratings. And I do know there are those of you out there that were disappointed with the choices made by the characters I portrayed. And I expected that, they didn't make the best choices IMO either, but perfection is an endless dream, and one rarely makes the correct choices to reach it.
I AM writing this because when I was writing the chapter 'Genuine' I nearly decided to take 90 degree turn and make this the real ending. It had that much power over me. I know that a lot of this is recycled. Truly, this was where the portions similar to 'Genuine' first were because I wrote this first. The title truly the overall tone I wanted to convey. Even in relationships, (or I should say especially) tiny differences can make a difference between extreme poles.
But, in the end, I knew I couldn't do publish this alone. Thus, the alternate ending was born. I couldnt lose sight of my goal for promises made by a cyan filly.
Even if I wrote myself into an emotional roadblock.
That I hated writing myself out of.
And I still hate myself for doing it.
And I've already started doing it again in my next fic. FFS.....
Hey, both endings are good. They both work in canon. It's much like Memory Pending's endings. That being said, I do prefer the Redheart ending, but I'm fine with this one. Keep it coming.
*sighs like a schoolgirl in love*
*looks up and around rapidly*
"NOTHING HAPPENED! I AM MANLY!..."
Ah, who am I kidding? I love this story. Really sweet and heartwarming (though the amount of injuries he had was quite overwhelming).
I think I'd go with the Redheart ending though, as I think she turns a bit OOC in this chapter (unless it's her doing this for his own good), but it seems you're not done with this version yet?
In that case; I'll stay tuned.
-Glassed
712872 Yeah, this is going to go on for a bit. I really wouldn't leave it at this. The character has unresolved feelings and a continuing story. After everyone's comments, I realize how confusing it was for it to be marked comeplete still. I originally had it like that because what I considered the main narrative had resolved - and I figured that the part 1 after the latest chapters title would let you know more was coming - but now that I have an alternative going again, I changed it back to in progress.
Sorry about my lack of foresight, there.
Yay, I've been rooting for fleet foot the whole time
Out of left field Nighthawk goes with Cloudchaser dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cloudchaser_dealwithit.png ; no wait, Rain! Bow! Dash! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png ; hell, Lyra never gets enough love. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
Honestly really enjoying this, I really see the story going either way, though I must agree with 712872 in the Redheart seems a little harsh for the character you have portrayed. (And now on to all those other updates that snuck up on me
713529 i meant you are supposed to keep them awake and not let them sleep cuz they may not wake up. She is a medical proffesional. she knows that he could go into a coma from letting him sleep. She likes him so it's even more horrifying to me to see her have total disreguard to his saftey.
713547 It's not that she didn't treat it with due regard, it's that she felt confident with the set of symptoms she found was not completely indicative of a concussion. We know, though, that she was wrong. What she found was a patient that had been knocked unconscious. He displayed a normal pupillary response, seemingly recognized his surroundings (you might not know it, but you smiled when you saw her standing over you), and had no other apparent symptoms aside from vomiting. She also did keep a very close eye on you when you were out, and only went to shower when she was sure you were ok.
From your POV we can check pretty much evey tick box on the list of symptoms, and you did probably have a mild concussion compounded by the previous brain injury.
713762 okie dokie lokie
Break out the black label, because this shit is depressing! D:
Seriously, though, I am glad you have done this. While personally I am perfectly fine with what happened in the 'real' ending, it's always nice to get a 'what if'. And hey, if you want to write it, then do it! Haha.
I'm sure Nurse Redheart is lying to herself as soon she told him that she didn't love him, Im sure right after she sent him away in the cab she bawled her heart out.
714755
Really.
714727 Is there even a question about it? Of course she did. She had to say those things to get him to go after Echo.
I'm waiting to see which ending I like better...
750491 Would you mind expanding on your issues with the time line? Was it just in the ending? or was it more widespread? Though, I don't see myself readily using the knockout/time shift stuff in my next few stories, I would like to know how to improve it.
750573 @ Agarwaen
After skimming through the piece again I guess the only time I found chronological confusion distracting was the last chapter where the future turns into the present that is actually a dream that turns into the present. Additionally I was starting to get tired, so this may be a problem that only I had.
In this particular story the slight uncertainty of what is real and what is imagined definitely adds to the work. The two cases that come to mind are the day he thinks he is robbed and the opening to the final chapter. The only other change I personally would have added would be a (this person's house this many days later) after significant changes in setting, such as dream states or when the story changed to the Wonderbolt's perspective.
As for time and dream shifts, if you want the reader to know that what follows is dream, I would simply use different dividers. Your italics often helped, but personally I was usually still left uncertain.
For example
For a time shift you might use stars as you did
_____________________________________
"So this is a story of trial, error and heartbreak..."
* * * * * *
"And That's how Equestria was made!"
____________________________________
Vs. so different arbitrary divisor for dream-state
____________________________________
That's when I rested my head on my pillow and allowed my eyes to drift shut
@}-;-'--- @>-->--
I am falling through some purple clouds when suddenly my mother begins to show my marefriend my baby pictures. I would try and stop her but I can't leave until I finish my Math test. That's when the teacher comes over and pours..
@}-;-'--- @>-->--
A bucket of really cold water all over me. I am instantly awakened from my short sleep as I nearly jump off of the couch in shock. Glancing around I see my marefriend standing a few feet away suffering from mild fits of giggling. When she sees me get off the couch she smiles, turns tail and dashes out of the room. Returning the smile I shake the water out of my coat and give chase.
________________________________________________
To summarize the rambling above, I would say use different dividers if you want the audience to immediately know it is a dream, and only a setting change notification if you do not.
P.S.
I will add that I think your writing is superb. I do not recall finding any grammatical problems, which is a MAJOR plus in my book. It had a solid story and I really felt for Night when he was torn between Red and Fleet. You did a great job making the characters believable and definitely have warranted a watch/subscribe/following from me.
P.S.S. Let me know if I should do a better job elaborating, I wrote this in three sittings, so I might have been all over the place.
All these feels. I can't wait for more.
... i don´t buy redhearts sudden cruelty... she just isn´t like that, she wants to do this for fleetfoot,right?