With Apologies to the Moon

by Mudpony

High Moon

Moon Day -14:

Within the palace in Canterlot, there exists a room called the Announcement Room. The room overlooked Apollo Square, the biggest open space in the city. It was from just outside the room that the rulers of Equestria spoke to their subjects. For centuries, the princesses had hovered just outside the Announcement Room whenever they made a royal announcement.

Eventually, a young maid thought of building a balcony for the princesses to stand on while speaking. .It was a good idea, and so, like most good ideas, saw the credit stolen by the originator's superior, who passed it on the Chief Steward. And so the balcony had been built. The next winter, on a cold and icy night, the superior had fallen to his death from that very balcony after a tragic accidental spill of banana peels, oil, marbles, and gumballs. Subsequently, a young maid suggested adding a railing for safety reasons.

Today, Luna sat on a couch in the Announcement room. Celestia had insisted Luna be there while Celestia made an announcement, the exact nature of which she kept secret from Luna. And so Luna sat in the room, drinking a glass of wine, while her sister began her address.

"My little ponies," Celestia's Royal Canterlot voice boomed down from the official announcement balcony of the palace to the throng of eager ponies in the square below. "One thousand years ago, I banished my sister, dear Luna, to the moon. Since that day, there was not one day when I did not regret that action or at least think of my sister. Always did I wonder if I might not have resolved the issue in another way.

"Then Luna was returned to us, and so I needed to wonder no more. There had been another way, as my faithful student Twilight Sparkle and her friends discovered. A way that I might have found had I not acted so hastily. It is for this reason that I have called you here today on such short notice."

Princess Celestia stepped to the side of the balcony and beckoned her sister forward. "Luna, I am so sorry. No words I can say can ever express how truly sorry I am. That is why when you were returned to us, I vowed that this could never happen again. I have had the best and brightest minds in Canterlot working on a way to make that vow a reality. Yesterday, they informed me they have succeeded. And so today, I share that solution with you. Never again will what happened to you happen to anypony else."

The crowd went wild. Luna wiped away a tear from her eye and hugged her sister, trying to tell that this wasn't necessary, that Celestia had only done what needed to be done. Celestia though was not done with her speech.

She turned back to the crowd and continued, "Ladies and gentleponies, we have the means, we have the magic. In two weeks, Equestria will blow up the moon."

---

Within the announcement room, Luna stared at her sister, her glare so fierce it would have burned holes through most ponies. On a pony used to controlling the sun though, it had far less effect. "You want to blow up my moon?" Luna asked.

Celestia did not let her sister's anger affect her. She had expected Luna to understand, had never expected her to be angry. She tried her best to explain. "To make sure it can never happen again and as an apology to you."

"No."

"You won't accept my apology?"

"Not if it means blowing up my moon."

"Don't you see, Luna? This must be done. With how long we live, it is only a matter of time before one of us sends the other to the moon. Do you want to have to spend a thousand years wondering if sending me to the moon was the right choice as I did you?" Celestia pleaded with her sister.

"We won't let it come to that again, my sister, neither one of us. We have have learned our lesson," Luna said. "And I will not let you blow up the moon. I will rally the people. You shall see they do not want the moon blown up anymore than I do." And with that, Luna stormed off.

---

Moon Day -13:

"Twilight!" Pinkie exclaimed as she burst into the library. "Have you heard? Huh? Have you? We're going to blow up the moon. Kablooie! Boom! No more moon! And under two weeks from now. See, here!" She tossed a newspaper to Twilight. "I'm going to throw the biggest, bestest Moon Blower Upper Party ever!"

Twilight picked up the newspaper. Across the front, in big letters, it proclaimed "Moon to go!" She ignored the headline and the accompanying picture of the moon in favor of reading the article itself. She read the first page, which covered Celestia's speech and Luna's reaction to it. Turning the page, she listened briefly to Pinkie, who had apparently drafted Spike to take notes and was dictating party ideas to him..

"Piñatas! I'm going to need piñatas. Filled with cheese. Or rock candy. Both! Piñatas made from cheese filled with rock candy? You getting all this down, Spike?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight tuned out Pinkie and turned her attention to the newspaper's second page, which was entirely devoted to explaining how exactly the job would be accomplished.

"They're going to send a team of oil well drillers to the moon to blow it up? That will never work," Twilight Sparkle said. "Before they reach the target depth of one thousand miles, they'll run out of supplies. And even if they get that far, the liquid core would kill them before they reached the target depth," Twilight Sparkle stated. "How are they going to get around that?" she asked Pinkie.

"Moon pies," Pinkie answered.

"Moon pies? I don't see how that could solve the problem," Twilight said, her brow furrowed in thought. "You could use them to try and cool the core, but you'd need so many. A thousand!"

"Not for the moon, silly. For my party. I've got to get moon pies! But what if they are out of moon pies? Then there will be no more moon pies. No more moon pies! Do you suppose they make 'No more moon pies'? If not, I'll have to invent them. And once they exist, should I get moon pies or no more moon pies?" The distressed pony grabbed Twilight by the neck, pulling the unicorn away from the newspaper. "Twilight, which do I pick?"

Twilight gulped. "Both?"

"Both? Both! Of course, both. Now why didn't I think of that? You're a genius, Twilight! Thankyouthankyouthankyou." And with that, Pinkie bounced out of the library, all the while babbling lists of potential ingredients for no more moon pies, with Spike chasing after her waving a scroll, calling out for her to wait.

Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes and resumed her reading. The answer to her question, the real answer, would be in the rest of the article, she figured. Apparently, Celestia had put together a team headed by Professor Whinney, one of her old teachers. She continued on, curious as to what her old teacher from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns had done. "Huh," she said to her audience of books. "Apparently he's come up with a new spell ritual that controls the passage of time, allowing the diggers to finish their work before their supplies run out."

She pondered for a second. "How would they solve the time synchronization issues though, when working on such a scale?"

With renewed interest, she resumed reading. When Spike returned, she turned to him and continued her Spike-less conversation from earlier.. "Listen to this, Spike. Professor Taj had come up with the solution: music. By setting the ritual to a song, it can be coordinated even across the vast distances required. So they brought in the music teacher from the school, Professor Haymon, and together, the three scored Whinney's ritual.

"Spike, this Whinney-Haymon-Taj method is genius. Why, the work of hours, days, maybe even weeks, could be done in minutes. This could work. This could really work. We could really blow up the moon!" Twilight sounded quite excited at the prospect.

"Should we though?" Spike asked.

Twilight gave him a confused look. "Spike, this spell could be the biggest advance in magical theory since Rhyme Hater invented the Orangification spell. We need to do this. For science!"

"But don't we need the moon for tides and stuff?" Spike asked.

"Oh. Maybe?" Twilight asked sheepishly. Her earlier excitement deflated as she thought of things the moon impacted. "You're right, of course. We can't blow up the moon. Although... No. We can't. We've got to stop this." She stamped a foot down for emphasis.

"Spike, start packing. I'm going to see Celestia."

---

Moon Day -11:

"Welcome to the Great and Powerful Trixie Magazine!" the blue unicorn shouted, as applause signs lit up and fireworks burst in the air. The crowd dutifully applauded and cheered.

"I thought this was a magazine interview," Silver Spoon said, looking around at the fancy stage and the packed-to-capacity seating.

"Did the Great and Powerful Trixie not just say just that this is a magazine?" Trixie asked her audience. They responded with affirmative cheers. Satisfied, Trixie turned her attention back to the two fillies in the chairs opposite of her. "The Great and Powerful Trixie Magazine is written before a live studio audience. That is just one of many things that will make GaPTM the best magazine in all of Equestria."

Trixie turned her attention back to the live studio audience. "Ladies and gentlecolts, Trixie Magazine has with us two very special guests: this year's winners of the National Essay Contest and the fillies who will be pressing the button to blow up the moon! Trixie is proud to present: Diamond Spoon and Silver Tiara!"

While the crowd cheered, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon glared at Trixie in outrage. "I'm Diamond Tiara and she's Silver Spoon."

"The proofreaders will catch it before it goes to print. Trixie is sure of it," Trixie replied. Trixie quickly scribbled a note to remind herself to hire a proofreader. "So, you girls won an essay contest. The theme apparently was "Special" and your entry was titled "We Are Special Because You Are Not", is that correct?"

The two fillies nodded.

"Trixie assumes that Trixie is part of the we in that title, because Trixie is quite special," Trixie said.

"Oh, we're quite sure Trixie is special," Silver Spoon quipped, causing Diamond Tiara to giggle. "Seriously though, like, our entire essay is about how the best way to be special is to point out how others aren't. Like if nobody else has jewelry and you do, then you are special."

"Trixie used to have special jewelry."

"And probably a special jacket too," Diamond Tiara whispered to Silver Spoon.

"No. Trixie didn't have a jacket. Just her cape and hat." Trixie gestured at the backdrop behind her, which consisted of a large poster of Trixie in a cape and hat. "And now, Trixie is going to take a slight commercial break. Trixie will be right back, folks. Don't change magazines."

"Why are you stopping for commercials?" Silver Spoon asked.

"Yeah, why?" added Diamond Tiara.

"Silly fillies. Haven't you ever read a magazine? There's always pages of advertisements between parts of the articles. Trixie needs blank space to put them in."

Both fillies face-hoofed.

"And Trixie is back!" Trixie said, to the applause of her audience. She turned to the fillies. "Now, you two have been selected to press the button and blow up the moon. Besides the fact that the Great and Powerful Trixie would have been a far better choice, especially given Trixie's last name is Lulamoon and that Trixie is the best showmare in all the world, what do you think of the idea of blowing up the moon?"

"Oh, we think it is stupid," Silver Spoon said.

"Yeah. Silver and I did an extra credit paper on the moon last year for Miss Cheerilee's class."

"She's our town's teacher. The only one in the whole town," Silver Spoon said, interrupting Diamond Tiara.

Diamond Tiara glowered at Silver Spoon before continuing. "And in that paper, we covered all sorts of useful things the moon does, like tides, and um, tides."

"So you don't think it is a good idea? Why are you doing it then? Perhaps you should step aside and let someone great and powerful do it instead?"

"You have to ask?" Silver Spoon gave Trixie a look indicating how dumb Trixie's questions were. "We get to, like, blow up the moon. How often do you get a chance to do that?"

"And then we'll be able to point out to everyone that we blew up the moon and they didn't, so we're special and they're not," Diamond Tiara said.

"Certainly good reasons," said Trixie. "And Trixie is about out of space. Congratulations on winning the contest and good luck with the blowing up the moon thing. Don't forget to thank Trixie for letting you be in the Great and Powerful Trixie Magazine."

"Thanks for having us," both fillies said in unison.

---

Moon Day -8:

The Minister of the Interior sat on the edge of his seat, chewing on the edge of his hooves and cringing whenever Celestia made any sort of movement. The rest of the council was similarly nervous, watching as Celestia read a magazine. The latest, and also the first, issue of The Great and Powerful Trixie Magazine. In big letters, over a picture of somepony who was most likely Trixie, it declared that Trixie was the best magician in all of history. That was not what made the ministers so nervous however. Nor was it the text about the danger of wheels or the dangerous conditions of the roads in the town of Ponyville. No, it was the small print at the bottom, print that read "Fillies Think Celestia's Apology Plan is Folly".

The Minister of the Interior flew nearly four feet into the air as Celestia slammed the magazine down. The Minister of Intelligence made it higher, a full six feet, but since he was a pegasus, that was not nearly as impressive.

"Disaster!" Celestia exclaimed. "How could you have let them go on that interview without approving the questions first?" She glared at the Minister of the Interior, behind whose chair every other council member was now hiding.

"I am truly sorry, Your Majesty. We screwed up. But in our defense, it was scheduled before we selected them, Your Highness, we just never thought to check. Seriously, who interviews essay contest winners?"

Celestia had to admit the minister had a point. "Well, what is done is done. Tell me, what's the damage?"

"The latest polling numbers show the populace divided, my Princess." The minister pointed to a chart. "As you can see, the population is split three ways, with about an equal number of ponies for each faction. One faction feels that the moon should not be blown up without Luna's permission. A second feels that Luna should accept your apology. The third doesn't really care what we do, as long as those two fillies wind up covered in mud or otherwise embarrassed."

"Really?" Celestia asked.

"Oh, yes, Your Majesty. Even though they are just little fillies, lots of ponies hate them." He flipped to a different graph. "As you can see here, the two are more hated than Discord, Sombra, and Night-- errr, Gilda combined, and those three are some of the most vile and evil threats the kingdom has ever faced. Even Prince Blueblood polls better than the two fillies, Your Highness."

"Interesting. You'll have to tell me more about this Knight Er'Gilda later. I don't recall anything about that one."

"Just one of a multitude of threats from one thousand years ago we keep track of, no doubt, Your Majesty. I'll get my best mare to prepare you a report on the subject" the Minister of Intelligence said from behind the Minister of the Interior, eager to seem useful.

"Ah, yes, that must be it. So can we get the last group to my side?"

"We believe so. We believe that if the moon blower upper button were also tp dump a bucket of swamp muck on the two fillies, then we should have their support. Especially if we pick the right ponies to press that button."

He flipped to another chart, which listed desirable and undesirable traits for button pressers. "We believe we went wrong in that we picked fillies that were cute, smart, and special." He indicated the traits on the chart. "What we should have gone with cute, dumb, and not special. For that reason, we believe we have the perfect candidates. They finished last place in the national essay contest. Their essay was titled, get this, 'Our Blank Flanks Are Special'. Someone apparently convinced them that having no purpose in life other than trying to find a purpose is something to be proud of." He snickered.

"Minister, you know that all my little ponies are special," Celestia said sternly.

"Of course, Your Highness," the Minister of the Interior replied, properly chastised. That lasted right up until Celestia failed to maintain her straight face, at which point all the ponies in the room, including those still been hiding behind the minister rolled on the floor laughing.

"It sounds good," Celestia said, after she regained her composure. "Make it so. But this had better work. This apology is far too important to me to fail."

In response, the Minister of the Interior bowed deeply. gathered up his charts, and along with the others, left the room. Celestia alone, still looking out the window. At last, she sighed.

"Luna, why must you be so difficult? Why can't you see I'm doing this for you, for us?"

---

Moon Day -6:

"Now serving number 502," the unicorn stallion behind the desk announced.

His name was Red Tape and Twilight had decided that she hated him. Not hate like one would hate a pony-eating, puppy-kicking, misogynistic baby-killer who talked during movies, but something far more intense. Normally, when she came to Canterlot, she was able to visit with Celestia with little hassle, but not this time. This time access to the princess was tightly controlled by a gatekeeper and that gatekeeper was Red Tape.

Since she had arrived at the palace, he had kept her busy filling out one form after another, only to find some reason for her to need to fill out yet another form. In triplicate. Several times, she had considered reversing gravity and slamming him into the roof, but she had managed to restrain herself. So far, anyway.

Wearily, she floated up her number and approached the desk, dropping Form 413-B (Supplemental) on it, all fifteen pages. Three copies of it. He had only asked for one, but after what had happened a couple of times before, she had taken to filling everything out in triplicate, just to be safe and avoid another two hour wait for her number to be called.

She watched now as he scanned the form, nodding and checking things off. She contemplated reducing him to a pile of ash and then swearing that he spontaneously combusted, but held off. It might burn the forms and leave her start all over again with the next petty bureaucrat.

"I see you put down 'Celestia's Faithful Student' under 'additional jobs', is that correct?"

"Yes. She's been my teacher since I was just a little filly," Twilight said, her pride managing to break past her weariness.

"Oh, you're that Twilight Sparkle?" he asked, peering at her over his glasses. "Well, why didn't you say so? Go right on in." He slid the pile of forms off his desk into a large garbage can.

"What?" Twilight asked.

"Celestia's instructions said to let Twilight Sparkle, her Faithful Student right in."

"You mean I didn't need to fill out any of these forms? You kept me filling out forms for days because you thought maybe I was a different Twilight Sparkle and you never once thought to ask? You could have let me in at any time?"

"Um... yes?"

"Gah!"

---

Celestia's teacup shattered on the ground as the loud rumble outside her office broke her concentration. She leapt to her feet, knocking over the table and sending the teapot that was upon it crashing to the ground. Purely by accident, of course. It was certainly not a petty attempt to get some payback upon the hated tea she endured for her people's sanity.

"Behind me," she commanded to the other two ponies in the room, as she readied powerful defensive magics. The doors to her office burst open to reveal a rather satisfied looking Twilight Sparkle, horn aglow.

"What was all that noise?" Celestia asked, somewhat more relaxed at the sight of her student.

Her question was answered by another loud series of slams, one terse scream, papers floating down from above, and Twilight looking away, mildly ashamed yet still satisfied. "I might have reversed gravity. Just a little."

From outside, calls of "Fire!" could be heard. "And started a small fire on his desk..." Twilight explained.

"Someone get a doctor!" another pony outside called out.

"And maybe his mane," Twilight added. "But it was his own fault. If he didn't want to have gravity reversed and be set on fire, he should have filled out the appropriate form in triplicate."

Before Celestia could inquire further, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash rushed past her to greet Twilight.

"Pinkie! Rainbow. But how'd you guys get in here without filling out all the forms?" Twilight asked.

"Through the door, silly," Pinkie Pie replied.

"Through the window for me. Way more awesome than using doors," Dash said. "You might want to watch your step on that side of the room, by the way. They haven't cleaned up all the glass yet."

"We're here telling Celestia how super-duper we think her apology is going to be and all about the big party I have planned. It is going to be my best party ever, even better than my 'Best Party Ever Party'," Pinkie Pie said.

"It's going to be awesome," Rainbow Dash said.

"No, it isn't," Twilight stated.

"It isn't?" Rainbow asked. "How can it not be awesome?"

"Because it can't happen," Twilight Sparkle said to her friends, then making eye contact with her mentor. "Princess Celestia, you cannot blow up the moon."

Celestia gave a weary sigh. "You too, Twilight? Are you taking Luna's side on this? Can't you see what I'm trying to do here? For one thousand years, I wondered, Twilight. One thousand years. The moon owes me those one thousand years. It owes Luna those one thousand years. Can you give me a reason to spare it for each of those years?" Celestia asked.

"You want to ruin my party?" Pinkie Pie asked, heartbroken.

"Yes! Well, no." Twilight turned to Pinkie. "I want you to have your party, Pinkie, but not for this reason." Then she turned to Celestia. "This isn't about sides. Equestria needs the moon. I can't give you one thousand reasons right this instant, but if one thousand reasons is what it takes, I'll do it!" She looked at Celestia, for some sign that Celestia would be willing to see reason without a list of reasons one thousand long. With no such sign, Twilight sighed. "I'll get started right away."

Twilight turned and walked toward the doors, determined to get home to the library and start compiling the list.

---

Moon Day - 4:

The council sat in session. In theory, they were discussing outlawing the sport of spouse-tossing, after numerous injuries occurred due to its rising popularity following the events in the Crystal Empire. In reality, they were killing time. No pony really wanted to ban the sport. In fact, several council members had hired surrogates to toss their spouses for them. And so they passed the time while waiting for a page to arrive with the latest issue of The Great and Powerful Trixie Magazine.

The doors burst open, and a winded pony burst in, quickly floating a magazine out of her saddlebags. "It's here, Your Majesty! The latest issue!"

Celestia set down her tea and gave a nod. "At last. Read it to us, if you would be so kind."

"Of course, Your Majesty." The page cleared her throat and began. "The Great and Powerful Trixie clad in her majestic cloak and hat strode into the packed theater, to the acclaim of the crowd. 'Trixie!' they chanted, their fervor rising higher and higher. Trixie waved to the capacity crowd, here to see the marvels of Trixie. Trixie, who had been told that a weekly magazine about the Great and Powerful Trixie could never work, was triumphant, with the first issue being the highest selling magazine ever. Of course, Trixie was always victorious, so her crushing of the neighsayers ought to have come as no surprise."

"Does it actually say all that?" the Minister of Defense asked.

"Yes, sir." She scanned further down the page. "It goes on like this for a bit, actually."

"Perhaps it would be best if you skipped all that and got to the part where she's interviewing the three fillies," Celestia said.

"Of course, Your Majesty." The page flipped to the next page. Then flipped a few more pages. And then still more. She exclaimed "ah-hah!", only to follow that up with "oh, no." And still more pages were flipped. At last, she found what she was looking for and resumed reading out loud, describing the events that happened two days prior.

Two days before the meeting (Moon Day -6):

"Now, Trixie is to understand that you have given yourself a special name. Would you like to tell our reading audience what it is?"

The three fillies, one of each race, chanted in unison, "Cutie Mark Crusader Moon Blower-Uppers!"

"And why exactly do you want to blow up the moon?" Trixie asked.

"We're hoping to get our cutie marks in moon demolition," Apple Bloom said.

"And if you can't get that by blowing up the moon, then I don't know what you can blow up to get it. So we have to try," added Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle said nothing, just looking cute while nodding in agreement with her friends.

"But once you've blown up the moon, what good will a moon demolition cutie mark do? There won't be any other moons to blow up. It seems like a rather poor cutie mark to have, if Trixie does say so herself. Which she did. So it is," Trixie said.

"Huh, we hadn't thought about that," said Apple Bloom, her enthusiasm deflating.

"But I bet we could get a cutie mark in just plain ol' demolition then," declared Scootaloo, still excited.

"Yeah. I bet there's lots of things to blow up right here in Equestria, like rocks and mountains and dams," Apple Bloom said.

"And mud puddles and those awful stores that sell spandex clothes," Sweetie Belle said. "What? My sister would love it if we blew those up."

"Cutie Mark Crusader Store Blower-Uppers!" chanted the three in unison.

"Given the generally lacking intelligence of your hometown"-- Trixie interrupted herself to whisper loudly to her audience, "It is true, Trixie has proof," before resuming the question-- "Do you have any no doubt amusing thoughts about blowing up the moon?"

"Well, we do think that it should be eight days from now, rather than six," Scootaloo said.

"It'll be a full moon that night," Apple Bloom added.

"That way, we'll be sure to get it all," Sweetie Belle said.

Trixie chuckled. "Ah, Ponyville, you never fail to verify the Great and Powerful Trixie's low opinion of you," she said quietly into her microphone, sending her words blaring through the loudspeakers. "Good advice from the new button pushers for the moon blowing upping. The Great and Powerful Trixie is almost out of the time Trixie set aside for public adoration, but before Trixie goes, Cutie Mark Crusader Stuff Blower-Uppers, is there anything else you'd like to tell the reading audience?" the reporter asked.

"Uh-huh." Apple Bloom put on a serious face and looked directly at the studio audience. "We trust Celestia. She's steered Equestria right for one thousand years. If she wants to blow up the moon to apologize to her sister, Ah reckon we owe her our support. Ah'd certainly blow up the moon to apologize to my sis."

The page finished, then held up up the magazine so that the council could see the picture of the fillies and Trixie. The council room held its collective breath, waiting to hear Celestia's opinion. She slowly smiled.

"They're adorable. I bet they could plot to drive somepony off a cliff, potentially causing death or serious bodily harm, and not even get so much as grounded. Well done, minister," Celestia said.

---

Moon Day -3:

Luna paced back and forth in her office. On one wall hung a board with the latest polling numbers. They were not good. With the addition of the muck dumping, public opinion was once again in favor of blowing up her moon. Still, enough ponies sided with her to give her some hope that the event could be avoided. She took comfort in the presence of two of her friends, though she wished Twilight Sparkle were here. Twilight loved to watch the night sky just like Luna did. Surely she too would want to keep the moon? Luna sighed. Twilight's adoration of Celestia must be stronger still. Craving the comfort of companionship, she went over to the two friends who were here.

"We're terribly sorry, princess. If I'd have known Sweetie was going to help blow up the moon I'd have gotten my parents to ground her beforehoof," Rarity said.

"Yup. Ah know of some filly whose gonna have a barrels worth of extra chores to do," Applejack said. "The moon was good enough for our granny and for our granny's granny, it should be good enough for her. We Apples have always used the moon to track our reunions. We don't need any of this fancy moon blowing up stuff."

"And Sweetie knows I have such high hopes for my moon dresses and hats. She even begged me to let her design one. She used some of the candy corn pattern I had left from Pinkie's Gala dress. It was the cutest crime against fashion that you ever did see," Rarity said. "I am going to have to burn it, of course."

"I don't think we'll be able to get public opinion on our side in time now," Luna said.

"Then you reckon we do the march?" Applejack asked.

Luna thought through her options. Hoping her sister would see sense, that Luna did not want this apology, would accomplish nothing. And without the ability to get public support on her side, public opinion would not shift Celestia's determination to see this through. She looked at the door, hoping that Twilight would burst in. If anypony's opinion could sway Celestia's, it would be Twilight. But the door refused to cooperate, and so Luna made a mental note to have it brought to the catapult range and used for target practice.

"The Thousand Mare March is on," Luna said sadly. "I wish there was another way."

"Maybe your sister would be okay with blowing up those stores as an apology instead?" Rarity suggested hopefully. "What? Sweetie had a good idea."

---

MD -1:

"Fine, Spike. We'll use your suggestions. Number nine-hundred and ninety-nine: May need to mine the moon in case of cheese shortage. And reason one thousand: Potential site for future theme park." Twilight gave the scroll another look over, before rolling it up and floating it over onto a pile of nine matching scrolls. She gave a satisfied nod. "One thousand reasons, just like she asked. Let's head to the palace and find Celestia."

"The palace?," Spike asked. "I don't think she'll be there."

"Oh, and what makes you the expert on the princess's movements? I've been her student for years and whenever there's a big issue like this, she's always at the palace," Twilight stated matter-of-factly.

Spike held up today's newspaper and pointed to the headline about the big rally and the counter-rally Celestia had planned.

"Oh."

---

Twilight skidded to a halt. Ahead of her, the square was crowded. On one side stood Luna and her supporters. Among them were Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack. On the other, Celestia and her supporters, including Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Ponies were waving signs, for and against, and chanting slogans.

Twilight scanned over the signs. Preserve Traditional Equestrian Values, Moon should stay, Luna is best princess, Moon this!, and Moon Hats, Moon Dresses! The last had a picture of the garments. They actually looked rather fabulous, Twilight thought, before she tore herself away and looked at the signs on the other side of the square.

Chief among the signs there were ones reading Trust Celestia and Moon must go!. Others said things like Accept the Apology, Kaboom!, and one, a bright pink sign, said I want my party!.

On the far side of the square were two fillies holding signs. Twilight could barely read them, but with some effort, she made out what they said: No mud! and Love us.

The whole scene was tense, and Twilight could tell that it would erupt into violence at any moment. All it would take was a single act: an object thrown, somepony stumbling forward, or a some crazy idiot launching a horde of fireworks. Twilight watched aghast as fireworks were launched from the wagon of a certain showmare who could not resist a crowd of this size without trying to perform for them. The fireworks shot up and exploded, and with a roar, the two sides started to close. With a flash, Twilight teleported between the two sides.

"STOP!" Twilight's voice blasted across the square, halting everypony on both sides. "Will you look at yourselves? About to fight over something like this instead of deciding things in a rational way," Twilight Sparkle scolded.

Some of the ponies had the sense to look ashamed, among them both princesses, prompting Twilight to continue. She pulled a scroll from her pack. With a flick of her head, she sent tossed between the two sides, unrolling as it went.

"I've got here one thousand reasons why the moon shou--"

"Nay, that will not be necessary, Twilight. You have made your point," Luna said. "My sister and you are correct; we should blow up the moon."

"But... but I don't think we should--" Twilight protested, only to be cut off by Luna's thundering Royal Canterlot Voice.

"HEAR ME, CITIZENS. TWILIGHT HAS SHOWN ME THE ERROR OF MY WAYS. I SEE NOW THE WISDOM IN MY SISTER'S COURSE OF ACTION. I WILL ACCEPT HER APOLOGY. THE MOON MUST GO, FOR THE GOOD OF ALL EQUESTRIA. RETURN TO YOUR HOMES AND PREPARE; FOR TOMORROW, WE BLOW UP THE MOON!"

The entire courtyard was now so silent you could hear a pin drop. For those in favor of blowing up the moon, it appeared that they had won, but they did not want to cheer, for fear that it might cause the other side to resent them. For those on the side of preserving the moon, well, their side was now gone, as gone as the moon would shortly be, in a sudden reversal.

Well, I supposed I could convert my moon dresses and hats to star dresses and hats. If I make a minor change, like so... Rarity thought, taking a pin out of her hat and letting it drop to the ground, where it landed with an audible pin hitting stone sound. She adjusted her hat slightly, then checked the result in a small mirror she pulled from her pack. "Perfect. There could be a definite market for this, with no more stupid moon getting in the way of the stars," she said softly to herself. And with that, she dropped her sign and ran across the gap dividing the two sides to hug her sister.

As the two hugged, it was as if a dam had burst. Both sides of the conflict rushed toward each other, not in anger, but in forgiveness. Friends and families that had been divided the issue grouped up, hugged, and apologized. Ponies from both sides clamored around Rarity asking her where she got her fabulous giant hat. Bit by bit, the crowd dispersed. At last, the only ponies left were Luna, Celestia, Twilight, and Applejack.

"Thank you, Twilight," Luna said. "I almost allowed my obsession of the moon to bring the land into chaos. Again you have saved me and Equestria from my folly."

"Truly you are my most faithful student," Celestia said.

"But... but..." Twilight sputtered as the royal sisters flew off, side by side. "...I had one thousand reasons..."

Applejack stamped her hoof. "Ah still reckon we ought to keep the moon," Applejack declared, the lone holdout.

---

Moon Day:

"Well, that sucked hydra balls," Diamond Spoon said, as she sat sulking next to an equally muck covered Silver Tiara who was fruitlessly trying to clean her glasses.

Nearby, Pinkie was sporting a stylish star hat decorated with candy corn. With her usual enthusiasm, she grabbed Twilight by the shoulders. "Did you see it, Twi, huh? Did you, did you? It was just like I imagined. Kablooie! Boom! Sploosh! No more moon!"

"That was almost as awesome as me!" exclaimed Dash.

Twilight leapt to her feet with a primal scream, hovering several feet in the air. Her rage was palpable, as if her very coat, mane, and tail were made of fire. With a pop, she disappeared.

"What's with her?" Dash asked.

Pinkie Pie shrugged. "I guess the moon just drives some ponies crazy."

Comments

[Mudpony]

Some more Mr. Show inspired silliness, along the same lines as One Thousand Years Ago. Bit of brain cleaning after completing Tales of Tiara: Scrooged for the most part. Can watch the skit I based it on here.

For those unfamiliar with Mr. Show with Bob and Dave, it was a skit based comedy show on HBO starring Bob Odenkirk and David Cross. Its cast included Jack Black and Sarah Silverman. Ran for 4 seasons in the late 1990s.

Chapter title comes from this song by Star One, a song about the Sean Connery movie Outland.

[Boko]

... What in the hay did I just read?....
It was nicely written and entertaining though, good job!
no Fluttershy? why no Fluttershy?!!

[TundraStanza]

Somebody has to link this story to everyone that tries to revive "To the moon" jokes.

[Miketipe]

"Quick, get me Bruce Willis, Steve Buscemi, and Aerosmith!"

Overall, good way to kill a few minutes.

[Mudpony]

1863537
The result of investing myself heavily in another fic and needing to unwind. And so a bit haphazardly written fic with a silly premise and all the ponies acting crazy, with a minor bit of trolling thrown in, not meant to be taken seriously. All based around the idea from a skit. Happy that it entertained, yay.

As to Fluttershy, she was in the outline, but didn't make it to being written. She was against blowing up the moon because she feared the explosion would scare the animals. Couldn't really come up with anything funny for her that fit nicely into the (lack of) narrative though, and I think that, as a character, she needs a bit more space/words than the likes of Pinkie or Dash. So between those two things, she got cut.

[Karna]

And then they all starved to death.

[draconis72000]

"Whinney-Haymon-Taj" <---- I see what you did there, lol.

"Rhyme Hater invented the Orangification spell" <---- This looks like a joke, but I don't get it.

You have earned a new stalker.

[Mudpony]

2101721
There's two words in English that often get mentioned as not having rhymes: orange and silver. Usually comes up for Zecora related jokes when it comes to MLP. And since Twilight was practicing turning things into oranges at the start of Too Many Pinkies...

And thanks :)

[Themaskedferret]

I don't even...*laughs

[Pump It Up]

I liked the story, but disliked the ending, just to let you know. It didn't really satisfy me.

[Foals Errand]

I reviewed your story tonight you can find it here

[Mudpony]

5522900 Cool. Glad you enjoyed it. Oh, and don't worry about those tidal waves. It's about time those slacking unicorns had something to do again instead of leeching on everypony else. Why not tide (and tidal wave) control?

[Thought Prism]

Dat Futurama reference.