Gonna Fly Now
Story idea by Seether00. Thank you for letting me use this idea. :)
And a thank you to Featherprop and DJ Garv the Expert for the help editing.
Gonna Fly Now
“Come on, push harder!” Scootaloo said.
“Ah’m...trying!” Apple Bloom grunted in between breaths, pushing the weighted bar up. Even though it was a smaller bar -designed for colts and fillies- Apple Bloom’s face still showed signs of strain, turning a bright red. She used her hooves to push the bar higher and higher until, finally, her forelegs fully extended and she was holding the bar directly above her. Her orange eyes bulged under the strain, and her teeth ground together as beads of sweat rolled down her face.
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo cheered for their friend as the little country filly gently lowered the bar back into its proper place.
“Wow Apple Bloom, you sure can lift a lot of weight.” Sweetie Belle said as Apple Bloom sat herself up, wiping the sweat from her forehead.
“Phew! Yeah well, that’s a benefit to living on a farm, Ah suppose.” Apple Bloom said with a soft chuckle.
“Maybe you’ll get your cutie mark as a bodybuilder! Like that guy.” Scootaloo said, pointing across the gym at a beefed-up pegasus stallion who was curling weights, steam shooting out of his nose. His wings were tiny, but his body made up for the rest. The barbell cutie mark tattooed on his flank stood out like a beacon for the entire gym to see. Scootaloo was in awe of the sheer size of his body.
“Eh, Ah don’t think so.” Apple Bloom said, hopping off of the bench. “Ya need ta be really big to get a cutie mark for lifting. Ah mean, Applejack is strong and so is Big Macintosh, but their special talents are on the farm. Mah strength is nice, but it ain’t gonna be mah special talent.”
“You never know.” Scootaloo said with a wink. The three fillies laughed.
“Well hey there girls, how’s the workout going?”
The three blank-flank friends turned around to see three familiar, albeit sweaty, faces looking back at them. Applejack was in the lead, her head uncharacteristically hat-less since she was in the middle of working out. Thunderlane and Rainbow Dash stood behind her, both wearing matching white head- and hoof-bands, damp from their sweaty fur.
“Hey there, sis.” Apple Bloom said cheerfully. “It’s going great.”
“Yeah, especially for you.” Scootaloo told Apple Bloom before she gave Applejack a smile.
“Apple Bloom here is really strong, she can lift more than most fillies I know.” Sweetie Belle told Applejack.
Applejack chuckled. “Well, strong muscles run in the Apple family.”
Sweetie Belle, who had been uncharacteristically quiet during this, was busy scanning the gym. When she failed to find what, (or in this case who) she was looking for, she turned to Applejack.
“Hey Applejack? Where’s Rarity?” The curious unicorn filly asked.
Applejack’s smile vanished, replaced with confusion. She scratched her head. “Ya know, Ah haven’t seen her since we got here.”
Rainbow Dash stepped forward, pointing over her shoulder. “I think she’s over in the sauna.”
“Yeah, I saw her follow Noteworthy back there.” Thunderlane said with a small laugh.
“Another stallion.” Sweetie Belle said with a sigh. “It seems like she brings a new one home every other night.”
“Rarity brings a lot of guys home, eh?” Thunderlane asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“Her flirting wouldn’t bother me so much. But every time she does bring a stallion home, she’ll turn them down.” Sweetie Belle said. “They’ll talk and stuff but right when it seems like they’re connecting, she’ll tell them to leave. Saying she has to get up early for a fashion show or something.”
Thunderlane chuckled. “Heh-heh... Yeah, that sounds like Rarity. Just the other day she put on her little flirtatious act with me.”
“What? Rarity was flirting with you?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed with a hint of anger in her voice. “She knows you’re my coltfriend. Why didn’t I hear about this, exactly?”
“I didn’t see a need to tell you.” Thunderlane said with a shrug. “Besides, I think she does that with every stallion, whether they’re single or not.”
“You still should have told me.” Rainbow Dash said, smacking Thunderlane in the back of the head. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt him, but it was hard enough to elicit an “ouch” from the stallion, who started rubbing the back of his head.
“She hasn’t done that with Caramel.” Applejack said.
“Let me rephrase,” Thunderlane said, giving his sore head one last rub before clearing his throat to speak. “Every stallion that doesn’t act like a total mare.”
“Now what in the hay is that supposed to mean?” Applejack asked with a scowl, clearly insulted with how Thunderlane was talking about her coltfriend.
“Nothing. I’m just stating the universal truth that Caramel IS a mare.” Thunderlane snickered. “I mean, he could have worked out with us today, but he chose not to.”
“Yeah, because he’s back home cooking dinner for us.” Applejack retorted, her scowl deepening. “He’s mighty considerate like that.”
“You mean he’s pretty fruity like that?” Thunderlane asked with a smile. “Let me ask you, does he wear one of those ‘Kiss the Cook’ aprons, or does he prefer the frilly, pink kind my mother wears?”
“Anyway!” Rainbow Dash said, in an attempt to change the subject before Applejack decided to buck Thunderlane in the jaw. “Can we get back to our workout now? I don’t want my wings to cramp up.” Rainbow Dash said, gesturing to her sides.
Thunderlane nodded. “I’m with ya, Dashie. Let’s go knock out some wing-ups.” Thunderlane said, pointing in the direction of a wall covered in mirrors, in front of which lay a few blue mats that several ponies were occupying. Unicorns and earth ponies on the mats were doing push-ups with their hooves while pegasi did wing-ups- an exercise meant to build their flight muscles.
“Awesome, let’s do it.” Rainbow Dash said. She and Thunderlane were about to walk off when a young voice called out to them.
“Hey Rainbow Dash!”
The two pegasi turned to see Scootaloo waving to them, a huge grin on her face. She was sitting on the same bench Apple Bloom had used.
“Want to see me lift this bar?” Scootaloo asked, pointing to the bar.
“Um...” Rainbow Dash said, sounding a little uneasy. “That’d be great kiddo, but don’t you think that’s a wee bit heavy for you?”
“Apple Bloom lifted this much a few seconds ago.” Scootaloo said, pointing to Apple Bloom, who shrunk back in embarrassment at being singled out. “And if she can do it, so can I.”
With that, Scootaloo lay back, putting her hooves under the bar. “Apple Bloom, come spot me!”
Sighing, the yellow filly trotted to the head of the weight bench. She stuck her hooves out beneath the metal bar and waited for Scootaloo to begin her lift. The pegasus filly took a quick glance over at Rainbow Dash before turning her attention back to the bar. Pushing up, she lifted it off of the rack and slowly pushed it away until it was balanced above her.
She then began to carefully lower it to her chest. Her face brightened to a nice shade of red, her teeth pressed together and eyes squinted. She put every ounce of energy into controlling the weighty bar’s descent. Once it was down far enough, she slowly began to push up. Her forelegs strained to lift the heavy burden. Finally, with agonizing slowness, she finished straightening them out, the bar now held far above her.
“Whoa!” Sweetie Belle said from the side. Apple Bloom, who still held her hooves under the bar, just in case something went wrong, gave her friend an enthusiastic smile.
“Wow, great job with that, Scootaloo!” The country filly cheerfully exclaimed.
Scootaloo, with the help of her bow-wearing friend, guided the bar back onto the rack. She then slid out from under the bar and sat up, grinning from ear to ear.
“Did you see that? Huh? Did you?” Scootaloo asked, her eyes focused on Rainbow Dash.
The cyan pegasus mare chuckled. “Wow, great job there Scoots.”
Scootaloo was beaming with pride. Rainbow Dash was about to say something else, but was interrupted when Thunderlane tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to see him pointing at the mats near the mirrored wall.
“Wing-up time?” he reminded her with an eager grin.
Rainbow Dash nodded. “Oh yeah, let’s do it.”
With that, the pair of Pegasi trotted off to the mats. Scootaloo’s smile slowly faded, her high spirits evaporated from her body like water in the summer sun. Once again, Rainbow Dash's attention had been grabbed by her colt-friend.
After the camping trip, Rainbow Dash started taking an immediate interest in Scootaloo. For the little filly, her life felt like a sweet dream. Her idol, the totally awesome Rainbow Dash, had taken up an unofficial role as her big sister. She even started training her how to fly, taking her to the park to practice hovering in the air as long as possible- something she was still having issues with.
Everything seemed to be going great. That is, however, until a certain, black stallion came into the picture.
Sure, Scootaloo thought Thunderlane was nice, and did not hold a personal grudge against him. But what frustrated her was that he'd always manage, whether intentional or not, to hog Rainbow Dash's attention. This resulted in less flight training and less of a chance to hang out in general. Ever since their little romance started, it was like Scootaloo didn't exist. But she wasn't going to give up her new sister-figure without a fight.
“That was mighty impressive there, Scootaloo.” Applejack said, a hint of pride in her voice. “Ah’m sure if ya...”
“Sweetie Belle! Apple Bloom!” Scootaloo said, turning to her two friends. “Put five more pounds on each side!”
Both fillies’ jaws dropped. “What!?!” They cried in unison.
“Do it!” Scootaloo ordered, sliding back under the bar and getting into position. Applejack just stared, eyes wide.
“Um...Scootaloo are ya sure this ain’t pushing it a little?” Applejack asked.
“No, I’ll be fine.” Scootaloo said with an uneasy smile, glancing over to see Rainbow Dash and Thunderlane over by the mirrors. In an attempt to grab her idol’s attention, she shouted, “I can totally lift this heavy weight above my head in ten seconds flat!”
Alas, the blasted black stallion with the funky blue mane held all of the cyan mare’s attention.
“Scootaloo, I really don’t think this is a good idea.” Sweetie Belle muttered, sliding the extra weight onto the bar.
“Yeah. Ah can’t even lift this much.” Apple Bloom said, sliding the second weight onto the other end.
“Trust me.” Scootaloo muttered.
“But ah can’t spot you with a weight this heavy.” Apple Bloom whispered. Scootaloo looked up at Applejack and pointed to her.
“Applejack, could you please spot me?”
“Ah don’t know. Are ya sure ya can handle this much weight?”
“I’m positive I can.” Scootaloo answered before lying back down and putting her hooves under the bar.
“I am going to lift this bar now!” She shouted, hoping that Rainbow Dash would hear her. She then turned to Applejack with a pleading smile. “Please spot me Applejack?”
Applejack opened her mouth to object, but when she saw Scootaloo’s smile, she stopped herself.
“All right! Fine, ya need someone to spot ya anyway. Might as well be me.” Applejack said with a sigh before trotting over to stand behind the bar, her hooves at the ready beneath it.
“Tell me if ya want me to lift it back onto...” Applejack started, only to be interrupted when Scootaloo, without warning, jerked the bar off of the rack and swiftly brought it down to her chest.
Almost immediately her entire face looked as though it had been injected with tomato juice. Her eyes bulged, sweat poured from her head, and her teeth clenched together so firmly she feared a tooth would shatter. With all of her might, she pushed up against the bar as hard as she could, but it seemed hopeless.
Just when she was about to give up, an image of Rainbow Dash giving her praise for succeeding flashed through her mind. That was all it took for her to put every last ounce of energy she had into pushing up, struggling against the crushing load until she triumphantly locked her elbows, the bar wobbling high in the air.
“Oh my gosh, you did it!” Sweetie Belle said, her voice full of both shock and excitement.
“Wow!” Apple Bloom cried. “That’s incredible, Scootaloo!”
Grunting, Scootaloo smiled. “I...told...you...guys...I...could!”
With one last ounce of effort she, with the help of Applejack, guided the bar back onto the rack. Sighing, the little pegasus let her hooves fall to her chest, breathing heavily, her muscles aching in a way she had never experienced before. Still, she smiled and excitedly sat up to see if Rainbow Dash had watched her accomplish the feat.
Her smile fell when she saw her idol in the middle of doing wing-ups with Thunderlane. Both pegasi were facing the complete opposite direction of the courageous little filly. Scootaloo’s ears flattened against her head and her smile fell into a frown.
“She...she didn’t see me.” She whimpered, looking down at her hooves. “She doesn’t even know.”
“Now don’t fret Scootaloo.” Applejack said, walking over and placing a reassuring hoof onto the filly. “Ah’ll tell Rainbow Dash what ya did. Ah’m sure she’ll be really proud of you. ”
Scootaloo sighed. It seemed that no matter what she did, she couldn't get Rainbow Dash's attention or praise anymore. Barely able to fly, she often had to resort to other means to show off her skill, or make up for her shortcomings. Everything from trotting to showing off a new pair of sunglasses, she did so much in her attempts to make Rainbow Dash not only notice her but be honestly impressed. Every time she would either fall short, or, as the case with the weight-lifting, succeed only to have Rainbow Dash fail to notice- too absorbed in Thunderlane.
Applejack’s offer didn’t make her feel any better, either. She didn’t just want some third party to tell Rainbow Dash of her accomplishment; she wanted her idol to see it with her own eyes. That way, not only would Rainbow Dash know it to be true, but she would praise Scootaloo as well.
But now, there would be no praise. Rainbow Dash might be proud of Scootaloo for a moment, but soon would forget what those efforts were. There would be no lasting impression, it would simply file itself away in the recesses of the cyan pegasus’ brain.
Still, she wasn’t going to argue with Applejack- especially when she was nice enough to offer to tell Rainbow Dash about her success at the bench-press. So even though Scootaloo was not happy, she was not going to complain. She simply limited her response to a small nod followed by an unenthusiastic “Fine.”
The sun started to go down as everypony filed out of the gym before it closed its doors. Applejack led the way, followed by a thoroughly wiped-out Thunderlane and a still pumped-up Rainbow Dash, who was basking in her post-workout high. Behind them trotted a very sultry-looking Rarity, who was clearly playing up a flustered Noteworthy. The stallion seemed completely oblivious to the fact that he would wind up getting nowhere with the mare. Either that or he didn’t care- it was Rarity after all.
Finally, the three Cutie Mark Crusaders trotted out. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both walked slowly, their legs sore from their workout as well as lack of experience. Apple Bloom, who led the pack, was a bit sweaty but for the most part trotted along without any sign of her exertions: No slight limp nor apparent soreness. She was as spry as a hummingbird in a flower-patch.
“Boy, there ain’t no feeling like walking out of a gym after a intense workout.”
“You can say that again.” Scootaloo said, grimacing as pain shot through her leg. The door to the gym opened behind the fillies, and Scootaloo turned around to see the pumped-up pegasus weightlifter from before. He seemed to be much more relaxed as the adrenaline in his system began to fade. He looked down at his wrist-watch. Grumbling, he looked up towards the skies.
Scootaloo watched as his tiny little wings started to flap, a buzz like that of a bee coming from them. Suddenly, much to Scootaloo’s amazement, the massive pegasus lifted off the ground and hovered in the air. Her jaw dropped as she watched him fly up higher and higher before he made his way down the road. Not only was his ability to fly at all mind-boggling, but the speed he managed was rather impressive as well, considering how small his wings were and how gargantuan his body was.
”How can that guy fly with such tiny wings when I can’t fly with mine?” Scootaloo wondered as she watched him fly off in the distance. Suddenly, she felt the urge to run after him; she needed to know his secret.
“Hey Scootaloo! Are you coming or not?” Sweetie Belle called out. Scootaloo snapped out of her daze and turned to her friends. She opened her mouth to respond when her eyes met with those of Rainbow Dash. She not only wanted to impress the blue pegasus, she dreamed of flying alongside her as well. But so long as Thunderlane was in the picture, she feared that she would never get that opportunity, and knew that letting such an opportunity go to waste would be a huge mistake.
“Actually, you guys go on without me. I’ve got to take care of something.” Scootaloo said, backing away. Before anyone could protest, Scootaloo turned and bolted off in the direction the tiny-winged stallion had gone.
It started to get dark as Scootaloo watched the massive stallion land in the front lawn of a house. She stopped trotting and stared as the white hulk calmly entered his home and closed the door behind him.
She looked around. He lived on the outskirts of Ponyville, with hardly anypony else in sight. The closest neighbor was Fluttershy, and the Everfree forest was a mere ten to fifteen yards away from his home- a modest log cabin with a roof covered in fine moss. Two giant oaks proudly stood in his front lawn.
Smiling, Scootaloo made her way up the walk. When she finally reached the front door, she took a deep breath and lightly knocked.
Nopony answered.
Slightly annoyed, she raised her hoof to knock again when she noticed a giant door-bell just above her head. Curious, and deciding it would be more efficient in getting the pegasus’ attention, she reached up and pressed her hoof to the bell.
“YEEEAAAHHH!!”
“Ah!” She screamed, stumbling back and nearly losing her balance. Before she could catch her breath, the door opened up, revealing the very same pegasus she had been following for the past ten minutes. What was most startling was not just his size: It was his size and the fact that he was wearing a pink apron with frilly edges. In one hoof he held a cooking pot, in the other a wooden spoon. The smell of tomato sauce filled the air, making Scootaloo’s stomach start to growl.
The massive pegasus looked down, his face relaxed and calm.
“Yeah?” He asked in a very civil manner, the complete opposite of the door-bell.
“Hi, my name’s Scootaloo and I need to talk to you.”
“Talk to me?” He asked, leaning against the doorframe and lazily stirring the contents of the pot with the spoon. “Now what would a little filly like yourself want to talk with me about?”
“Well,” Scootaloo looked down shyly, face turning a bright red. “You see, I’ve been having a lot of trouble flying.”
“What kind of flying trouble?”
“Well... you see... I can’t do it.” She admitted, turning her body to show the pegasus her wings. The stallion’s eyes went wide before showing a slight sign of pity.
“Oh. Well, I’m sorry to hear that.” The he said, continuing to stir the pot though at a much slower rate.
“Yeah, my wings have never been the strongest. It’s not that big of a deal, but it tends to be a bit of a nuisance.” Scootaloo said, each individual word like a bee-sting to her heart.
“Ah-hah.” The stallion muttered, still stirring the pot. “Now why would you come to me?”
Scootaloo cleared her throat. “I was wondering if you could teach me to fly.”
The pegasus stopped stirring and raised an eyebrow.
“You want me to teach you how to fly?” The stallion asked. Scootaloo responded by nodding. The stallion sighed. “Look kid, I’m honored that you’d come to me, but I think you might want to try your luck with a professional trainer. I’m probably not your best option when it comes to flying.”
“But you are!” Scootaloo said, pointing to his hopelessly small wings. “You can fly with such tiny wings when your body is soooo massive.” Scootaloo froze, suddenly conscious of the fact that she might have embarrassed the poor guy. “No offense.”
The pegasus shrugged. “None taken.”
“I want to know your secret!” Scootaloo blurted out, giving the stallion her best set of puppy-dog eyes. “Please, teach me how to fly like you.”
“But...” The pegasus began, only to be silenced by the pleading eyes of the filly. Scootaloo sat on her flank and pressed her hooves together in faux prayer. She even added a small lip quiver to make it harder for the stallion to refuse. The stallion opened his mouth to reply, but then stopped. Sighing, he slowly nodded. “Fine.”
Scootaloo’s face lit up. “Really?”
“Yeah. Stop by Ponyville gym tomorrow at four. You’re out of school by then, right?”
Scootaloo grinned, nodding up and down like she was a bobble-head. “Yes I am! Thank you!”
She was about to fly off, but then stopped. She turned back around so she was facing her soon-to-be-teacher. “By the way, my name is Scootaloo.”
“Horse-ard Dean.” The pegasus answered. “But everypony just calls me Snowflake.”
The two shook hooves and Scootaloo left, barely hearing the door shut behind her. She made her way down the path, a huge grin on her face as she looked forward to finally achieving her goal of flying and winning back Rainbow Dash.
The next day, Scootaloo arrived at the gym ready to go. She had a white headband pulled over her head, a pair of matching hoof-bands, and a look of determination. She stood outside and waited. Her scooter, which she used to get there, was propped up against the entrance. After about five to ten minutes of waiting in the soothing sunshine, Scootaloo found herself cast in a giant shadow. She looked up to see the massive Snowflake land right in front of her, a duffel bag over his shoulder and a headband pulled over the top of his head.
He looked down at the excited Scootaloo. “Hey there kid, are you ready to get pumped?”
Scootaloo nodded enthusiastically. Snowflake opened the door to the gym and gestured the eager little filly inside. She bolted past him, spinning the large stallion like a top. He finally steadied himself, eyes rolling around and feeling a brief wave of dizziness and nausea.
Steadying himself, he made his way into the gym to see Scootaloo hopping around excitedly. Only a few ponies were working out, including a very frustrated-looking Noteworthy, who was bench-pressing like there was no tomorrow. Scootaloo looked up at Snowflake, grinning in great anticipation.
“What do we do first? Treadmill? Elastic? Bench-press?”
“We’ll start with a few simple wing-ups.” Snowflake answered calmly.
Scootaloo’s excitement faded, replaced with disappointment. “That’s all? Really?”
Snowflake nodded. “Yes. Remember, we’re only getting started.”
He then pointed over to the mats in front of the mirrored wall. Scootaloo enthusiastically nodded and made her way over to them. She got down, propping herself up on her tiny wings.
“Okay, now I want you to give me ten quality wing-ups.”
Scootaloo looked up and scoffed. “Pfft! That’s nothing.”
With that, Scootaloo bent her wings so her chest was closer to the ground. She then used her tiny, yet powerful, wings to push herself back up. She then repeated this nine more times before coming to a stop.
‘There, no biggie.” Scootaloo said with a small laugh. “Just like a typical exercise in gym class.”
But Snowflake shook his head disapprovingly. “Those weren’t quality.”
Scootaloo tilted her head. “What do you mean?”
“You didn’t go down far enough. Give me ten more.”” Snowflake said in a tone befitting a general.
Scootaloo opened her mouth to complain, but then stopped herself when she realized that she’d have to do ten more eventually. Besides, if it meant she’d be able to fly, she was willing to push herself to her limits. Sighing, she got back onto her wings and began, this time bringing her chest even closer to the mat. Once finished, she looked up only to see Snowflake once again shaking his head.
“Ten more.”
Her jaw dropped. “What?”
“Still not good enough. Ten more, now!” Snowflake scolded, his voice rising.
Nervous and irritated at the same time, Scootaloo proceeded to do ten more. This time much more slowly with a focus on form. Her wings started to get sore and once she reached ten, she nearly keeled over in exhaustion.
“Again!” Snowflake shouted.
Scootaloo completed nine more push-ups and went down to complete her tenth when Snowflake shouted, “Hold it!”
She froze in the ‘down’ position and glared up at Snowflake. “What!?!”
“Hold that position!” he screamed, walking around Scootaloo as she held herself in the same position, wings rigid with a slight tremble. Her wings were burning, sweat running down her face and body.
“YEAH! FEEL IT! YEEAAHH!” Snowflake shouted, suddenly transforming into a hulking beast. Scootaloo couldn’t believe it, this wasn’t the same pegasus she spoke to the night before. This was a monster that could make Nightmare Moon shiver. “YEEEAAAHHH!”
Scootaloo could feel her wings start to give. Her entire face felt like it was covered by a warm compress. Just as she felt like she couldn’t take it anymore, Snowflake told her to push herself up. She did and immediately collapsed to the mat, panting. Her entire body was sore, breathing was shallow and rapid as her little heart beat like a rabbit’s foot against her chest.
Snowflake nodded. “There, now we’re done with wing-ups. How do you feel?”
“Like I was stuck in the taffy machine again.” Scootaloo said in between breaths, remembering the time she and her friends got stuck in the taffy puller at Sugarcube Corner. The achiness of her body then was not unlike how it felt after the wing-ups.
“Well, get up.” Snowflake said. “Remember, that was only the first exercise. I still have plenty more for you on the schedule.”
Scootaloo let out a groan, falling back onto her stomach. She had hoped that the push-ups would be the worst of it, but feared the muscular pegasus had many more exhausting exercises planned for her.
Unfortunately, her fear was well-warranted.
The rest of her workout consisted of exercises that were beyond brutal. Snowflake made Scootaloo do bench-presses with her wings. She had never tried using her wings for such an exercise, and after finishing them, she wished she could have kept it that way. Compared to them, regular bench-presses seemed like a sunny afternoon in Ponyville Park.
Later he made her do both leg-lifts and wing-lifts. Snowflake made her hold each repetition for a minute or more until he gave her permission to relax. Never had her wings and pecs hurt so much. She actually started to miss the wing-ups.
The militaristic stallion ordered Scootaloo to do an eclectic mix of excruciating exercises, including curling, sit-ups, star-jumps, ladders, and trotting on the treadmill- Snowflake having stressed how important leg and core strength were to flight in addition to wing strength.
After nearly an hour, Scootaloo’s torture session was finally over. Snowflake bade her farewell before flying off, leaving the poor filly to limp home. She trotted along the dirt road, letting out small grunts of pain every time her hoof made contact with the ground.
Scootaloo nearly collapsed onto her bed when she finally got home. The fact that she still had to do homework made her angry. Her body screamed for her to get into bed and sleep for a week, but she forced herself to push through the schoolwork and scarf down dinner before she was finally able to find relief in the form of a deep sleep, dreaming about the day she could fly with Rainbow Dash.
As the days passed, her workouts with Snowflake got progressively worse. Sometimes he’d take her to the section of the gym where ponies boxed. There, she fought against Snowflake’s niece, Knock Out- the Ponyville youth boxing champion. She might have been Scootaloo’s age, but she hit with a force that most stallions would envy. Time after time, Scootaloo received a walloping from the boxing filly. This trend continued every day that the stallion pointed her to the ring, ordering her to fight. She was just no match for Knock Out, or as she secretly liked to call her, the ‘He-She Filly’.
Knock Out was not the most feminine pony around.
Some days Snowflake would take her on a jog around town. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but every half-minute he’d make her try to get into the air and stay airborne while continuing on a horizontal path. Of course she wasn’t able to maintain this for long, and usually needed to land after only two to three seconds. Plus, the fact that Snowflake would hover above her while screaming “YEAH” again and again didn’t help, either. In fact, whenever Scootaloo worked out, Snowflake’s vocabulary would be reduced to “YEAH”, “PUSH IT” and a series of grunts, followed by steam shooting from his nostrils. He was the very image of an angry bull preparing to charge a rodeo clown.
Scootaloo felt like she was close to losing it. She was beyond angry- fuming like a boiling kettle of tea on a blazing hot stove. Every day her desire to quit increased. She didn’t think she could take the pressure anymore. Before every workout, she’d look herself in the mirror and try to muster up the courage to thank Snowflake but tell him that she could not handle his workouts anymore.
But before she could thoroughly convince herself to say this, the image of Rainbow Dash would fill her mind. She’d think about the blue pegasus’ face, both shocked and excited, when she finally got to demonstrate her new flying skills. She imagined the praise and feeling of fulfillment she’d have once she finally reached her goal. She imagined flying with Rainbow Dash, her sister in soul.
At that point, any serious thought of quitting went right out the window. She would lay back in her bed, massaging her many sore muscles- wings, legs, abs, you name it- and think about the next day; how she would soon be able to fly through the skies with her idol. Her body might have been hurting then, but deep down she knew it would be worth it in the end, once all her hard work paid off.
After four and a half weeks of training with Snowflake, Scootaloo started noticing differences. The main change in herself was how much leaner and more powerful she felt. Every part of her body, from her hamstrings to her back, had put on a significant amount of muscle mass since she first started training.
Even her wings started to demonstrate increased power as well. One night, she successfully stayed airborne for five seconds on the dot- a personal best. Before then she only managed to stay up for, at most, four and a half seconds. But despite this obvious improvement, Scootaloo still felt that her progress was too slow. As she went to bed, she decided that before her work-out the next day, she’d ask Snowflake how fast she should be progressing.
The next afternoon, she drove her scooter to the gym. Once there, she stood outside, waiting for her coach to arrive. She gazed up at the sky, stretching her hoof up towards the clouds- daydreaming about the day when she’d finally be able to fly up and touch them. She imagined herself feeling their fluffiness and a small smile crept onto her face. Before she could further drift off, her view was blocked by a familiar hulking white stallion. Snowflake landed on the ground, his thick duffel bag hanging from his shoulder, just as it did every day.
“You ready for another workout?” he asked.
Scootaloo nodded, suddenly deciding that it would be best to workout first and then ask Snowflake about her progress. She feared that pestering him beforehand would only anger him,and the one thing she didn’t want to see him angry- doubly so when he had yet to put her through another of his already brutal workouts.
Just as she turned to follow him into the gym, the door burst open. It smacked the unprepared stallion in the face and caused him to fall onto his flank. The contents of his partially-open duffel bag scattered across the ground.
Scootaloo watched as the white unicorn mare responsible for this incident stormed out into the street, swiftly followed by a blue earth pony whose face was an enraged scarlet.
“Why did you invite me back to your place if you didn’t have any intentions of hooking up!?!” Noteworthy hollered.
The white mare, Rarity, whirled about and scowled at Noteworthy with the utmost annoyance.
“Well! Excuse me for mistaking you for a gentlecolt! I thought that perhaps having the privilege of talking to somepony in a friendly, non-romantic manner would be enough for you. But clearly I was mistaken!” Rarity snarled before she turned with a huff and stormed off, her muzzle held high in the air as if she were part of the Canterlot elite.
Noteworthy scoffed. “Oh please! If that wasn’t flirting then I’m lead violinist of the Canterlot Orchestra!”
Rarity laughed cruelly. “Dream on darling. The way you played that instrument last night, you’d be lucky to find a gig at the Apple family’s reunion this fall.”
“Why you! Come back here!” Noteworthy screamed, following Rarity down the street. “How dare you mock my playing ability! I am an artist!”
Scootaloo shook her head, not sure what to make of what she just saw. She then turned to see Snowflake sitting on the ground, rubbing his head and groaning in pain.
“Snowflake, are you okay?” She asked.
“Yeah...” Snowflake said, still clearly dazed. Scootaloo wasn’t sure if that was a legitimate answer to her question, or if the stallion was just saying the word he said best. Looking about, she noticed the spilled contents of the duffle on the ground.
“Here, let me help you get your stuff back into your bag.” Scootaloo said, getting to work cleaning the mess up off of the sidewalk.
She picked up a small book, a spare headband, and an empty water bottle. She was almost finished retrieving his spilled belongings when she saw a strange, white bottle. Curious, she reached a hoof for it and brought it up before her eyes.
“Wing-Support: The Ultimate Medication for Those Unable to Fly By Natural Means.” She muttered, reading the extremely long label until the words registered in her mind. Her eyes widened in shock and her jaw dropped. Before she could look back down at the bottle to continue reading the fine print on the label, Snowflake snatched it from her and shoved it back into the bag.
“Right.” He said, zipping the duffel to prevent future spills. His face was bright red. “Let’s get a move along, shall we?”
Scootaloo looked up at him with a pair of accusing eyes. “Wait, what was in that bottle?”
“What?” Snowflake asked, feigning confusion. But the slight shakiness in his voice revealed his true fear.
“That bottle.” Scootaloo said, frowning as she pointed at the bag. "Why do you take that medication?"
"Oh! No reason." Snowflake said, his voice even shakier. "It's just to help me recover from my work-outs quicker."
"You're lying." Scootaloo said, her curious expression changing to an angry one. “That’s how you fly isn’t it? Not because you worked hard, but because you take pills!”
Snowflake held out his hooves, shaking his head.
“No, no. Scootaloo, you’ve got it all wrong...”
“Stop lying to me!” She shouted back, causing some passing ponies to stop and stare as the tiny filly started to berate the comically large pegasus. “These pills are the reason you fly, not exercising! Admit it!"
‘Hey! Knock it off, otherwise I’ll make you hold your leg-lifts for two minutes instead of one!” Snowflake growled. Unfortunately for him, Scootaloo saw right through his tough facade to the weakness he tried to mask.
“You can’t scare me anymore you phony!” She snarled. “Tell me the truth, right now!”
“I...uh...” Snowflake started, only to be cut off when Scootaloo took a step forward.
“Tell me!”
Snowflake opened his mouth to respond, but stopped. A look of defeat washed over the stallion’s face. He hung his head shamefully and let out a sigh.
“No...you’re right. The only reason I can fly is... is because of the pills.”
“I don’t understand!” Scootaloo said. “Why would you make me go through all those workouts if you knew they wouldn’t help me? To see me in pain? What exactly were you trying to accomplish? All of that pain you made me go through, all of the soreness, yet you knew that it wasn't helping me fly in any way."
Snowflake looked into the filly’s eyes. For the first time since she met him, it looked like he was about to cry. The stallion’s eyes started to mist, his lip quivered as he fought to keep his composure in front Scootaloo.
“Do you realize how shameful it is?” He whispered so that only Scootaloo could hear. “To admit that the only reason I can fly is because of medication? I couldn’t admit that to you and...I don’t know...” he sniffled a little. “I guess it was just nice to have somepony look up to me. I couldn’t bear to let you down, kid. You seemed so upset about not being able to fly, it would have hurt too much to tell you the truth.” Scootaloo slowly nodded before Snowflake continued.
“And you’re younger, so you might have a chance to fly. If my workouts succeeded in helping you do this, I would have felt... I don’t know, like I had made up for my own failure. Even if I never could fly on my own, I could at least say I helped somepony else achieve their dream.”
Watching the buff stallion’s collapse, Scootaloo’s rage abruptly subsided. She suddenly felt pity for the poor pegasus that lied to her, not anger.
“I’ve always been so ashamed of myself.” Snowflake continued, sitting down on the sidewalk. “All of this working out I’ve done, turning myself into such a grotesque...beast!”
“You aren’t a gross beast, Snowflake.” Scootaloo said, trying to make the giant pegasus feel better. “Don’t say that about yourself, please.”
But Snowflake wasn’t listening. He was buried too deeply in his sorrows as he went on.
“I gained all of these muscles. But I still can’t get over the fact that I can’t fly naturally. I can never forget how everypony laughed at me. How my friends and family abandoned me when I told them I could never fly on my own because my wings would never be normal sized!”
With that final admission Snowflake lost all ability to hold back. He burst into tears, sobbing like a foal into his hooves. Scootaloo trotted to his side and wrapped her hooves around him, trying to comfort him as best as she could, but it was difficult. The massive pegasus was devastated and Scootaloo knew that it would take a lot more than her comforting presence to cheer him up. They stayed close beside each other for a long while before Snowflake’s sobbing slowed to a gentle cry. They both decided it would be best to head home. Scootaloo offered to accompany Snowflake on his flight back, and he accepted. She hopped onto her scooter and rode alongside him as he flew low to the ground. She watch as he continued to silently cry.
The walk was a quiet one, with a lingering atmosphere as bleak as night. Scootaloo shuddered, feeling like a storm cloud was hanging over them as they trotted down the dirt road. She looked up at Snowflake. His face was full of misery, his eyes no longer those of the tough stallion he had been during her workouts.
They finally reached his home. This time, Scootaloo paid more attention to the surroundings. The windows of his home were dark and the only sounds besides her and Snowflake’s breathing came from frogs and crickets around a nearby pond. She also took note of the lack of neighbors. When she first followed Snowflake to his house, she noticed how separated his home was from others, but this was the first time the significance of his separation sunk in. Scootaloo noticed just how alone Snowflake truly was.
“Thanks for accompanying me home, kid.” Snowflake said.
Scootaloo snapped herself out of her daze and turned to Snowflake. “Don’t mention it.”
Snowflake nodded before dejectedly opening the front door and walked inside his home. Stopping, he turned to face Scootaloo.
“And...I’m sorry that I was so hard on you.” He said, eyes still glossy.
Scootaloo gave him a small smile. “Don’t be. I understand how you felt.”
Returning the filly’s smile with a sad one of his own, Snowflake gave her a small wave and closed the door. Scootaloo turned and walked off. She never felt so confused: Her emotions were as muddied as the water in the delta of a river meeting the ocean. Never in her life had she felt so angry at somepony while also feeling so much pity for them. Beneath it all, she even felt a shred of respect for Snowflake’s ability to open up to her as much as he did- even if it did take him over four weeks to do so.
Overall, she wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about the whole thing. She hopped onto her scooter and drove home, continuing to think about what Snowflake had told her about his family and friends- how they had ditched him.
She started to imagine Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom snubbing her in school. She then thought about her family disowning her. She thought of Rainbow Dash shaking her head, calling her a ‘disappointment’ and a ‘weakling’- something far worse than the cyan mare simply ignoring her.
She tried to shake these thoughts from her head, but couldn’t. Whenever she considered the possibility that she would never be able to fly, it only hurt her more and more. Finally, understanding the internal torment Snowflake must have had to endure, she no longer found her mind filled with conflicting emotions.
For all she felt now was misery.
The next day at school, Scootaloo sat at her desk between Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle as everypony in the class waited for the bell to ring and Miss Cheerilee to start class. Cheerilee was scribbling the daily agenda down onto the chalkboard. While she did this, Scootaloo finished telling her friends about the revelatory experience she had with Snowflake the day before: From the discovery of the stallion’s lie to his confession and the painful history he revealed to her.
“So the big lug wasted yer time, eh?” Apple Bloom asked.
‘Kind of, I guess.” Scootaloo said, looking down at her desk. “But after thinking about it, I decided his fear was understandable.”
“Aren’t you angry at all?” Sweetie Belle asked. “I mean, he did lie to you.”
“Yes, he did lie. And I was mad at him for a little bit.” Scootaloo said, sighing. “But when he finally confessed, seeing him that upset, it just broke my heart. I couldn’t stay angry at him.”
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchanged looks. The white unicorn filly gave a small shrug, as if to suggest Scootaloo’s forgiving reasoning made enough sense. They then turned back to their flightless friend who continued on.
“And it got me thinking. If his life got that bad just because he couldn’t fly on his own. I...” Scootaloo swallowed, wiping her eyes to rid them of the tears. “If I end up the same way, if I can’t fly because of some wing-size disability... I'm... I’m afraid that everyone will abandon me. Just like everyone abandoned him”
Both Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom simultaneously put a hoof onto their downcast friend’s shoulders.
“But ya won’t be abandoned!” Apple Bloom said, shocked Scootaloo would think such a thing. “Not when ya have us!”
“Yeah, we would never do that to you!” Sweetie Belle repeated in a similar tone.
Scootaloo looked up at her. “Even if I never learn how to fly?”
“What in Equestria does yer flying have to do with us being friends?” Apple Bloom asked. “We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders, ain’t nothing gonna change that. Especially not yer flying ability.”
“It doesn’t matter if you stay grounded.” Sweetie Belle said. “We’ll always be there for you.”
Scootaloo smiled, letting out a small sniffle as her sorrow subsided. “Thanks girls. That means a lot.”
"And besides." Sweetie Belle said, pointing at her friend. "You do look really fit. That Snowflake may have lied to you, but it clearly wasn't for nothing."
Scootaloo opened her mouth to respond when the bell rang. Cheerilee addressed the class with her typical ‘Good morning!’ and started her routine. Scootaloo was in much higher spirits- a feeling of relief washed over her as she leaned back into the chair. It dawned on her that it didn’t matter if she never impressed Rainbow Dash. It didn’t matter if she would never be able to fly.
All that mattered was that she could count on her two best friends to stick by her side no matter what. They would always be there to back her up, and now she knew she would never have to doubt that.
Once school let out and after she said goodbye to her friends, coupled with a ‘thank you’ for making her feel less rotten, Scootaloo started home on her scooter. The sun hung high above as Scootaloo rode down the dirt path. The wind passed through the little bit of mane that stuck out from under her blue helmet. She increased her speed, going faster and faster. This is what she imagined it would feel like to actually fly, fast and unbound.
Up ahead she saw a branch- low enough to smack her in the face, but tall enough that her scooter would pass under it. Smirking, she prepared herself to do the move she had done so often. Crouching down, she increased the speed of her scooter until she was about four feet from the branch. She then launched herself into the air, flying over the branch as her scooter chugged along underneath it. Once both she and the scooter cleared it, she landed and immediately gripped the handles. She stopped and turned around, taking a moment to admire her work.
“Whoa! Nice move there squirt!” Scootaloo turned to see the familiar face of Rainbow Dash right in front of her. The cyan pegasus landed on the ground, smiling.
“Thanks Rainbow Dash.” Scootaloo said, still gazing at her hero like she hung the moon- instead of a certain princess of the night.
“You know, I’ve seen you do so many cool tricks on your scooter.” Rainbow Dash said as she pointed at the scooter. “Yet, I've never asked how you learned them."
Scootaloo gave a small shrug, still beaming in pride. “I just practice a lot. No big deal.”
Rainbow Dash nodded. Her smile faded before she landed beside Scootaloo, wrapping her wing around the filly.
"Listen Scoots, I've been meaning to talk to you about something." She said.
"What is it?" Scootaloo asked, turning her scooter off and gazing into her hero's eyes.
Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. "I know that I've been sort of neglecting you over these past couple of weeks, what with my relationship with Thunderlane and whatnot and, well...
Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her head. "Gosh I've never been good at this...but I really feel awful for not paying attention to you- especially after I promised to take you under my wing and teach you how to fly. So, I'm sorry."
Scootaloo smiled, trying to fight back the tears she felt. "Hey, no biggie. It's water under the bridge."
Rainbow Dash looked at the filly and smirked, "Thanks."
The duo exchanged caring smiles when Rainbow Dash looked over Scootaloo's body. Her eyes widened and her wing began to feel around the filly.
"Whoa." She said. "When did you get so muscular?"
"Oh, I've sort of been training for the last couple of weeks."
"I can see that, dang." Rainbow Dash said with a small chuckle. "What work-out have you been doing?"
Scootaloo thought for a second, realizing that there was only one word to describe it.
"A brutal one."
Rainbow Dash laughed, "Well listen, if you're available tomorrow, would you like to meet at the gym? I'd really like to try out this routine of yours."
Scootaloo's eyes widened and her ears perked up. "Really?"
"Of course." Rainbow Dash chuckled, ruffling Scootaloo's mane- earning a small squeal of joy from the filly. "Meet me there at four, any later and it will be packed."
With that, Rainbow Dash lifted off of the ground and gave Scootaloo a small wave before flying off. Scootaloo continued waving to her idol until she was long gone, her smile lasting even longer as she placed her hoof back down onto the bar of her scooter. She looked over her body, and could not help but admire her toned wings and sculpted legs. Her grin grew wider, a giddiness flowing through her veins.
"Huh." She said. "I guess this workout wasn't so bad, after all."
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2.bp.blogspot.com/-yD10WC59PJU/T4AHP6OYkiI/AAAAAAAAA9w/bNg979KFY3Q/s1600/so-cute-meme-face-i3.jpg
88reads description an spits out soda*
RAINBOW IS WITH THUNDERLANE? WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!
1990986
My version of Equestria
I've paired them up quite a bit before, and my Thunderlane and Rumble fic will have them together again (at least that's what I plan)
I like how you portrayed Snowflake, and gave a possible backstory on him. Rather than him being on steroids to gain muscle, he uses them to fly. I personally never thought of that as a possibility, but you apparently did. Well written, and lots of feels.
That was an excellent read.
Yeaaah!!!! Love it! Cue workout memes: Do you even lift?
Anyway, thank you so much for writing this. Snowflake has always been one of the more under used characters in the fandom IMO. Now all we need is a Lightning Dust fic from you.
Hmm. Interesting. Was this partly inspired by Lance Armstrong? I hope Scoots doesn't ditch Snowflake now. Sounds as though he could use a few friends, and he's been a big help. Also, Thunderlane sounds like a bit of a jerk.
hate thrunderlane love dash and scoots and snowflake is awesome
1991407
Actually I wrote this back in December, when Seether00 gave me the idea so it was done way before Lance Armstrong was part of the discussion.
1991278
Thanks man.
And yeah maybe down the line I shall do a Lightning Dust fic. Should be interesting 
I always like stories that show characters are more than what they appear. And 'Snowflake' in a pink apron while cooking? Classic.
1991455
"Lightning Dust" and "Snowflake" both sound like they could be the names of Ponies who have a drug habit... All you need is a Pony named "Butterfly Kisses" and you've got a gang!
That was a fun one - but poor Snowflake, eh?
I want a sequel; Rainbow Dash versus Snowflake's workout regime.
Nice read, just one question; What did Rarity do in this story? Her whole appearance was kind of pointless.
Honestly the character I felt the worse for was Caramel and he wasn't even in the fic.
I was between chuckling and d'awwing the whole way through :3 cute fic!
2008797
Thanks
This was pretty sweet. Love reading stuff with Snowflake in it. Only a few noticeable mistakes, none are too distracting so it's all good. And you know, at least I can now proudly say I've read a fic that has the line, “YEAH! FEEL IT! YEEAAHH!” in it. But no Sweetie Belle lifting? Aww.
And I like how you wrote Thunderlane in this. Do you ship him and RD a lot, or was it just for this fic? But man, this was some good writing. Great work!
2039745
Thanks
And actually yeah this is actually the second story I shipped Thunderlane and RD. In fact I'm writing another story now where him and RD get together (as well as Rumble and Scootaloo).
epic.
Lol... this was awesome man. Nice job.
2059035
Thanks man, always good to hear from you
2059054 Eh, let's be honest. Probably not lately lol. A few days ago I was on a rampage, and I apologize for that.... I was literally going to just keep making people angry and posting obscene and degenerative stuff to the brony community until I got banned, since that was the only way I felt like I could possibly actually quit since I was pissed off I broke another promise and came back before. You can thank user Csquared08 for preventing that from happening though, he talked me out of it.
Instead of making another frivolous blogpost asking for forgiveness and making a bunch promises I probably won't keep again, I'm actually working on a new fic right now, the genre something I've never tried before. Hopefully through actions instead of words can I really redeem myself this time and improve my pretty awful reputation I've gained within the fandom.
So what I'm saying to you specifically though... is that yeah, I'm sorry I posted some nasty comments on your blog posts a few days ago. It was uncalled for, and I'm really trying to make up for it through actions.
2059090
Dude it's cool. I wasn't pissed at you or anything. I do appreciate the apology, though.
2059110 Well, thanks. That means a lot... because I can see how you easily could be. A lot of other people were pretty mad... and I don't blame them at all. I don't know if you read my blogs or not... but I was basically blatantly insulting everyone. Lost a bunch of followers. Again.
So yeah, thanks for not unwatching me, and I'm really hoping my new story will make a statement that I'm serious about changing my dreadful persona. I actually accepted help on this one... from Art Inspired. I would never have accepted help a month ago... So yeah, I'm hoping it'll be good.
And enough about me... I just realized I'm spamming your comments section... my bad. You keep up the great work on your fics... seriously, this story was really funny.
Great job, and keep up the good work.
2059148
Thanks man, looking forward to your next fic
You should definitely write a sequel to this, if you haven't already. It'd be interesting to see how Rainbow Dash and Thunderlane handle the new routine. Not to mention how other fillies and colts might react to Scootaloo's new strength.
There's a lot of stories where Rainbow Dash takes Scootaloo under her wing out of pity because Scootaloo is all alone. It's nice to see one where Scootaloo instead works hard at something and earns RD's respect.
Awwwww
So cute.
Good story, However I wish you hadn’t left Snowflake out there in left field. He sounds like a very lonely pony. Leaving him alone again just seemed to be rather a jolt, even with the stories focus being the Scootaloo-Dash relationship.
Nice little story. Good to see Scootaloo with another role model rather than miss Dash.
Great to see Snowflake expanded upon—he's a fun character, and could do with some depth.
Thunderlane manages to come across as a complete jerk without any discernible redemptive qualities. Considering miss Dash's earlier choices of friends, i.e., Gilda, this perhaps should not be too much of a surprise.
I do have a few issues—does
Scootaloo just abandon Snowflake now that miss Dash deigns to look in her direction? That seems to be cruel—his training regime helped her after all.
My second and major issue is your depiction of Rarity, which is severely out of character bordering on the slanderous. True, she has flirted on occasion in the show, but never frivolously, always to help her friends. The central tenet in her own personality is that she is "a lady" and that is certainly not the way a lady behaves. She has much, much more class than that, and seeing her played for laughs as you do here is just wrong, especially as she contributes nothing to the story.
Hmm... it's really hard tostay unbiased to this story because of some stuff I've written myself, but here goes.
Stuff I Did Not Like
-Rarity. She's there for no real reason aside from knocking out the bag. Really did not like her out of character behaviour.
-the setting. Too many things seem fabricated to get Scootaloo into these specific situations. It's good that it's justified, but the degree to which it's all put in makes it feel artificial. It could have worked just as easily with Rainbow Dash being busy with Weather Patrol duties or whatever and the CMC just trying to get a weightlifting cutie mark.
-the dialogues. The kids sound older, Apple Bloom's accent is over-stated, and all in all a lot of the wording just sounds off. Read Sweetie Belle's remarks on her sister out loud. Does she sound ten or twenty? It'd sound more natural if toned down. There are also some occasions where you capitalise 'pegasus' and maybe one or two quotation marks too many.
-the resolution. It's a good concept, don't get me wrong, and I liked the story right up to the ending. If Scootaloo cannot fly at her age and she knows this is not normal, she'd have seen a doctor by now who'd have recommended medication. There is never any question of why she can't fly. Her wings are too small for it, so are Snow Flake's, that's it. The setting of the show doesn't really allow for just that, what with all the magic running around. And even if Snowflake had a legitimate problem that required this medication, there's no indication that Scootaloo has the same thing. It feels like a dud, when it shouldn't have to be. The notion that she'd get abandoned if she can't fly comes completely out of left field, too: she's been friends with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle for a while now without flying. Whatever issues she has with it would either be worked out by now or have resulted in a doctor's visit. She'd know there's medication that does this sort of thing.
Stuff I liked?
- the concept. Scootaloo seeking help from a bodybuilder makes sense, and allows for a very original dynamic.
- the training. It's described well, to the point that I feel for Scootaloo and actually kind of feel bad for not exercising as much
. That said, Snowflake breaking down like that was okay, but not necessary. I liked the apron thing better than the medication thing, to be honest. And I definitely liked that Scootaloo got progress and noticed she was getting stronger. Physical growth, when described properly, makes for some compelling story-telling and it makes the reader feel for the character.
- the aftermath. Scootaloo looking like more of an athlete and getting the attention of her idol, that's good. It's earned, not pity, and it opens up new avenues.
- training partner. Knock Out sounds like a very interesting character, even if she isn't described that much. More, please. Scootaloo having to interact with more dedicated athletes (you know, like the pony she worships), that's great material.
All in all, I liked it. It has issues, I feel, but these don't overly kill the story.
Hi there! You know, Fimfiction now have Bulk Biceps (ex-Snowflake) character tag! You can add it to your story!
I wanted to like this, but the writing needs a lot of work.