• E π

    Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight Sparkle. ("Magic Duel" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)  · Kwakerjak
    13,505 words · 5,938 views  ·  862  ·  12  · 

Featured In15

More Stories9

  • E Petriculture

    Twilight tries to figure out how rock farming works.
    6,716 words · 37,826 views  ·  2,769  ·  39
  • T Inscape

    When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her.
    29,281 words · 19,158 views  ·  2,178  ·  30
  • T Wild, Sweet & Cool

    Rainbow Dash wants to add strength training to her regimen by having Twilight Sparkle ride her.
    34,747 words · 14,743 views  ·  1,622  ·  25
  • E π

    Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight Sparkle. ("Magic Duel" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)
    13,505 words · 5,938 views  ·  862  ·  12
  • E Flash Fog

    Fluttershy must deal with an unusually thick fog as it approaches Ponyville.
    123,078 words · 13,857 views  ·  1,548  ·  29
  • T Pandelirium

    Celestia decides to attempt to reform Discord, so she taps a pony with a similar background for the job. ("Keep Calm and Flutter On" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)
    77,357 words · 12,096 views  ·  803  ·  14
  • E So, Just What Went Wrong, Anyway?

    Before Applejack's pep rally, Derpy was acting really weird... even for her. This is why.
    5,213 words · 3,337 views  ·  332  ·  5
  • E The Final Accusation: A Legal Comedy

    A dozen years after ascending to become an alicorn, Applejack rules on the case of Tiara v. FlimFlam
    21,338 words · 2,517 views  ·  356  ·  6

Blog Posts393

  • Wednesday
    Prereader Conversation: Wilderness Survival

    me 8:41 PM

    I just saw a YouTube ad for the new FarCry installment.

    Blackbelt 8:41 PM


    me 8:42 PM

    I'm disappointed that the cover of "I Will Survive" sounds nothing like Cake's version.

    (I've no interest in playing the game myself, by the way.)

    They managed to find an artist willing to record a version of the song that's actually more melodramatic than the original.

    Blackbelt 8:45 PM

    I have zero interest in Far Cry as well

    me 8:46 PM

    Right. I'm just saying that if you're going to perform "I Will Survive" without any irony whatsoever, you'd better have a disco beat in the background, because that's the only way to pull it off.

    MaskedFerret 8:49 PM


    Though, I do confess I love Cake's take on it

    me 8:50 PM

    Methinks I have a decent blog post here. Hang on a second.

    For reference, here's the trailer:

    Here's Cake:

    And here's the original version:

    9 comments · 141 views
  • Monday
    Etrian Odyssey: Untold

    So, I've been playing Etrian Odyssey: Untold on my 3DS for a while now, and I'm really hoping at least one of my readers has as well, because I've run into a problem with one of the bosses.

    I can't seem to beat the Ant Queen on Floor B12... or rather, I can't seem to get rid of the eggs in the room before facing her, because I keep running into the secondary ants that those eggs spawn, and it takes me forever to beat them, which means that the queen has time to lay more eggs that spawn more ants and even if I did manage to get rid of the eggs it would make a difference because my alchemist would be almost completely out of TP which means I wouldn't be able to beat the Ant Queen even if I tried and I am getting so goddamned sick of swearing and cursing at this game and I want to just get on with the dungeon crawling and ARRRGGGH!

    So... is there anyone who can help me out here?

    7 comments · 111 views
  • 1w, 1d
    Flash Fog: Update

    For the past few months, updates to Flash Fog have been happening at a fairly regular pace: about three times a month, since I generally have been setting the 10th, 20th, and 30th of each month as my "goal" dates to get things done. However, the next post might take a bit longer. You see, the story's almost done, but I'm still not sure where the chapter divisions are going to fall in the last few entries (or even how many chapters of story there are, to be honest). Thus, I've decided to write the rest of the story in its entirety before I post it, and therefor, it might take a little longer...

    Then again, I've been thinking about the end of this story since nearly the beginning, so for all I know it might go even faster. In any case, we'll just have to see what happens.

    2 comments · 113 views
  • 1w, 2d

    That's right, it's a teaser cartoon, which implies that another cartoon will follow shortly.

    And for any who doubt that Homestar's back for reals this time, consider that Matt Chapman left his job working on Gravity Falls so he could move closer to his brother (because one doesn't jumpstart an iconic internet site over Skype). I'm pretty sure they mean business.

    3 comments · 104 views
  • 1w, 3d
    Who likes kickass bass lines?

    More like who doesn't like them, amiright?

    Of course I am. Have some Sugarloaf.

    Side note: Sugarloaf would be a great pony name, too.

    4 comments · 110 views
  • ...

This story is a sequel to Inscape

Penumbra seeks gainful employment. Hilarity ensues.

This is the third story in The Petriculture Cycle. The TV Tropes entry can be found here.

Artwork by Page Turner.

First Published
7th Dec 2012
Last Modified
7th Dec 2012

It is so good to see this up. So so good.

#2 · 99w, 18h ago · 4 · · IX. Avocation ·

Will read after I finish the last 2 updates of Blue Angel. All 27K...



Four views and ten thumbs up...seems legit. Anyways, DIS GONNA BE GOOD!!!

I loved it. :twilightsmile: I would like to see another story following up to this, maybe not in letter form but perhaps just a slice of life day to day thing?

Dammit Derpy. She didn't mean YOUR 'lil muffin.

Haha, you really made a Cloud Nine reference? You sir, are full of win! :pinkiehappy:

Loved the story, and it was the perfect length for something like this. Keep it up! :twilightsmile:

#8 · 99w, 18h ago · 2 · · IX. Avocation ·

Telling a big story with few words is very difficult. You've made something really remarkable, here.

Another story in the series......HEAD EXPLODES FROM JOY :pinkiegasp: :pinkiehappy:

You know, "flank" as "butt" has bothered me for a long time. But I never thought of attributing it as modern Equestrian language butchery. That is clever.

Although, since I'm anal retentively technical, I think dock reffers to the part of the back adjacent to the base of the tail (above the cutie marks). While the backs of the hind legs, past the cutie marks, would be the rump.

A good rule of thumb I use is when they're sitting down, what you see is the dock, what you can't see is the rump.

>>1754417 - True, but "rump" doesn't sound very dignified.


Keep in mind that around 6 of us have already read it.


Hmm, but "dock" as rump is quite the sordid euphemism, no?

I had been working with the mayor’s personal assistant for nearly a week

This reads a little funny, maybe needs to be as?

I just finished and I have to say I really enjoyed it:pinkiehappy:

I like it, that was a great final employment solution.

Well done. Each letter was well written, and they all flowed together in the way (it seemed) you intended them to.

Did you actually just put this up today? Because I hadn't seen or heard anything about it until just a few minutes ago...

Ah, the joys of customer service. :rainbowlaugh:

>>1754860 - Yep. I had intended for all of them to be posted at once.

She seems to be acclimating well.


Is this... *GASP*

The end of the series?!?

It's nice to see a continuation of this series, and I think you did a pretty good job with it.

#24 · 99w, 16h ago · 6 · · II. Ennui ·

"A co-conspirator, it seems, is better than nopony at all."


I lol'd.

What does she have against cranberry orange peels? :trollestia:

I love how you/she didn't even bother explaining how it fell apart, just implied massive psychological damage and general mayhem.


I'm a horrible person, but....

"I'd weigh anchor at her dock, if ya know what I mean." :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::rainbowwild:



Nice little start, sets up with an idea of what the situation is and just a hint of how this story is going to go.  It's also nice to see some of Penumbra's thought process here.


I don't think dignity comes included in catcalls, but I'd understand you not wanting to attribute that towards ponies.

Very nice.  This letter format offers for some hilarious opportunities and you don't fail to make use of that and I like how Penumbra feels.  She definitely seems like the character that you've developed given your cannon of her.  

You've taken this great opportunity to make some great commentary on the bronies, and this is no exception, actually this is the highlight.  You're creation of all of the 'traditional' Derpy hooves fannon was perfect and you hit on all the right notes.  Plus the little head cannon about wing preeny is actually pretty cool, and I might just have to steal that.

Arrivederci! I Sketchy Markks has arrived!

Another petriculture? I can't  wait to see what you have contrived.

Hey, Regidar! in first I have survived!

Erm, maybe it's actually the Author's first... if we believe what's advetised.

We are bronies, we make our own rules, whether its the idea that we can like a show targeted for little girls or calling the completely wrong end of a pony a flank.  Of course the humor is greatly appreciated at the strangeness of some of our terms.

Will have to get around to reading this.

Nice... this was good this idea of making Mayor Mare actually attuned to her cutie mark is not something seen very often (as she had Twilight Organize Winter Wrap up and Her ridiculous outfit in Luna Eclipsed).  You really gave Mayor Mare a feel that I've never seen or thought about before and I really enjoyed it.  Thanks.

Fluffy and fun! I like it. The letter format makes me feel like this correspondence would be great chapter openers for the "real" story, like Ender's Game.

The story was well played out and the letter style was unique and provided you a way to poke a lot of fun at a lot of different things.  You had a well developed world and interesting characterization. I've found myself entranced and I loved the whole story.  

Honestly, the only reason I'm not scoring this higher is because of it's style.  It was a nice simple short enjoyable read.  I'd compare this to Portal, and amazing short game that you fall in love with, but because of what it is I don't enjoy it as much as an expertly crafted RPG.

Thus I give this and 8/10 (with 5 being average and not 7).  I'm definitely looking forward to the next story in this series.  

I am curious, are you gonna try and do anything about how badly your story got broken by the Trixie episode? Or are you just gonna leave it as it is?

Short and sweet and highly enjoyable.  Nice work!



Huzzah! I can now refer to this as 'The Petriculture Trilogy'!

"unless you are aware of a career where ruthlessness and a tendency towards megalomania are considered desirable traits."

The Spanish Inquisition?

And poor Penumbra, she might want to consider relocating before a mob of anger Bronies appears at Sugarcube Corner due to her incident with Derpy. :pinkiehappy:

Somehow when I read about the barrister position at the end of the last chapter I just knew it was going to turn out to be something like this instead. :rainbowlaugh:

And I love the fact that this chapter is short and to the point.



This was a great little series and a nice addition to your two previous stories to this little corner of the MLP fanverse.

Having the entire story done through Penumbra's letters gave it an interesting point of view. I really like the character you've created here and I would love to see more of her in the future.

it is apparently not considered a sound business practice to leave one’s customers cowering underneath a table in a pool of their own tears.

Though I've often wished it was:flutterrage:

>>1754469 Haunch would work in that context, I think

#46 · 99w, 14h ago · 25 · · VII. Barrister ·

Scones are just the waste product of a cake-fusion reactor, anyway.

Another great story. I'm kinda sad to not actually "see" these events happen like with a normal story structure, but this was amusing to read and gave a nice accounting of Penumbra's misadventures. I admit to having some sympathy towards her, as she has some of my own flaws: an inability to understand the STUPID various people who make questionable decisions.

Ah well, good story. Hope to see more about what happens in the Petriculture-verse. :pinkiehappy:

I'm sure you knew this would be coming by this point.

(I suppose I don't have to tell you to click for big by now.)


I find "badonk" to be quite culturally-inclined.

Excellent story.

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