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Kwakerjak

Joined March 2012
1,514 followers

A thirtysomething Brony from Pennsylvania with a library degree.

Sequels

  • π
    Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight Sparkle. ("Magic Duel" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)

    13,511 words · 5,780 views · 852 likes · 12 dislikes

Stories (10)

  • Inscape
    When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her.

    29,301 words · 18,852 views · 2,161 likes · 29 dislikes
  • Petriculture
    Twilight tries to figure out how rock farming works.
    6,716 words · 37,284 views · 2,741 likes · 39 dislikes
  • Avocation
    Penumbra seeks gainful employment.
    4,557 words · 6,811 views · 1,191 likes · 16 dislikes
  • Wild, Sweet & Cool
    Rainbow Dash wants to add strength training to her regimen by having Twilight Sparkle ride her.
    34,747 words · 14,564 views · 1,606 likes · 25 dislikes
  • π
    13,511 words · 5,780 views · 852 likes · 12 dislikes
  • Flash Fog
    114,693 words · 13,368 views · 1,516 likes · 28 dislikes
  • Pandelirium
    77,413 words · 7,429 views · 786 likes · 14 dislikes
  • So, Just What Went Wrong, Anyway?
    5,213 words · 3,278 views · 330 likes · 5 dislikes
  • The Final Accusation: A Legal Comedy
    21,338 words · 2,449 views · 351 likes · 6 dislikes
  • Apex
    5,712 words · 878 views · 142 likes · 1 dislikes

Blog Posts (377)


This story is a sequel to Inscape

Penumbra seeks gainful employment. Hilarity ensues.

This is the third story in The Petriculture Cycle. The TV Tropes entry can be found here.

Artwork by Page Turner.

First Published
7th Dec 2012
Last Modified
7th Dec 2012

Comments ( 222 )

#1 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 18h ago · · ·

It is so good to see this up. So so good.

#2 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 18h ago · 4 · ·

Will read after I finish the last 2 updates of Blue Angel. All 27K...

#3 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 18h ago · · ·

DIS IS GOOD

I LIKE THIS

#4 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 18h ago · · ·

Four views and ten thumbs up...seems legit. Anyways, DIS GONNA BE GOOD!!!

#5 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 18h ago · · ·

I loved it. :twilightsmile: I would like to see another story following up to this, maybe not in letter form but perhaps just a slice of life day to day thing?

#6 · Chapter 4 · 93w, 18h ago · 8 · ·

Dammit Derpy. She didn't mean YOUR 'lil muffin.

#7 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 18h ago · · ·

Haha, you really made a Cloud Nine reference? You sir, are full of win! :pinkiehappy:

Loved the story, and it was the perfect length for something like this. Keep it up! :twilightsmile:

#8 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 18h ago · 2 · ·

Telling a big story with few words is very difficult. You've made something really remarkable, here.

#9 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 17h ago · · ·

Another story in the series......HEAD EXPLODES FROM JOY :pinkiegasp: :pinkiehappy:

#10 · Chapter 5 · 93w, 17h ago · 1 · ·

You know, "flank" as "butt" has bothered me for a long time. But I never thought of attributing it as modern Equestrian language butchery. That is clever.

Although, since I'm anal retentively technical, I think dock reffers to the part of the back adjacent to the base of the tail (above the cutie marks). While the backs of the hind legs, past the cutie marks, would be the rump.

A good rule of thumb I use is when they're sitting down, what you see is the dock, what you can't see is the rump.

#11 · Chapter 5 · 93w, 17h ago · 6 · ·

>>1754417 - True, but "rump" doesn't sound very dignified.

#12 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 17h ago · · ·
#13 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 17h ago · · ·

>>1754227

Keep in mind that around 6 of us have already read it.

>>1754469

Hmm, but "dock" as rump is quite the sordid euphemism, no?

#14 · Chapter 6 · 93w, 17h ago · · ·

I had been working with the mayor’s personal assistant for nearly a week

This reads a little funny, maybe needs to be as?

#15 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 17h ago · · ·

I just finished and I have to say I really enjoyed it:pinkiehappy:

#16 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 17h ago · · ·

I like it, that was a great final employment solution.

#17 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 16h ago · · ·

Well done. Each letter was well written, and they all flowed together in the way (it seemed) you intended them to.

Did you actually just put this up today? Because I hadn't seen or heard anything about it until just a few minutes ago...

#18 · Chapter 7 · 93w, 16h ago · 2 · ·

Ah, the joys of customer service. :rainbowlaugh:

#19 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 16h ago · · ·

>>1754860 - Yep. I had intended for all of them to be posted at once.

#20 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 16h ago · · ·

She seems to be acclimating well.

#21 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 16h ago · · ·

>>1754919

Is this... *GASP*

The end of the series?!?

#22 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 16h ago · · ·

It's nice to see a continuation of this series, and I think you did a pretty good job with it.

#23 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 16h ago · · ·

>>1754952 - Probably not.

#24 · Chapter 2 · 93w, 16h ago · 6 · ·

"A co-conspirator, it seems, is better than nopony at all."

:rainbowlaugh:

I lol'd.

#25 · Chapter 7 · 93w, 16h ago · · ·

What does she have against cranberry orange peels? :trollestia:

I love how you/she didn't even bother explaining how it fell apart, just implied massive psychological damage and general mayhem.

#26 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 16h ago · · ·

>>1754628

I'm a horrible person, but....

"I'd weigh anchor at her dock, if ya know what I mean." :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::rainbowwild:

>>1754967

:yay:

#27 · Chapter 1 · 93w, 15h ago · 2 · ·

Nice little start, sets up with an idea of what the situation is and just a hint of how this story is going to go.  It's also nice to see some of Penumbra's thought process here.

#28 · Chapter 5 · 93w, 15h ago · 5 · ·

>>1754469

I don't think dignity comes included in catcalls, but I'd understand you not wanting to attribute that towards ponies.

#29 · Chapter 3 · 93w, 15h ago · · ·

Very nice.  This letter format offers for some hilarious opportunities and you don't fail to make use of that and I like how Penumbra feels.  She definitely seems like the character that you've developed given your cannon of her.  

#30 · Chapter 4 · 93w, 15h ago · 7 · ·

You've taken this great opportunity to make some great commentary on the bronies, and this is no exception, actually this is the highlight.  You're creation of all of the 'traditional' Derpy hooves fannon was perfect and you hit on all the right notes.  Plus the little head cannon about wing preeny is actually pretty cool, and I might just have to steal that.

#31 · Chapter 1 · 93w, 15h ago · · ·

Arrivederci! I Sketchy Markks has arrived!

Another petriculture? I can't  wait to see what you have contrived.

Hey, Regidar! in first I have survived!

Erm, maybe it's actually the Author's first... if we believe what's advetised.

#32 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 15h ago · · ·

Nice! :pinkiehappy:

#33 · Chapter 5 · 93w, 15h ago · · ·

We are bronies, we make our own rules, whether its the idea that we can like a show targeted for little girls or calling the completely wrong end of a pony a flank.  Of course the humor is greatly appreciated at the strangeness of some of our terms.

#34 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 15h ago · · ·

Will have to get around to reading this.

#35 · Chapter 6 · 93w, 15h ago · 2 · ·

Nice... this was good this idea of making Mayor Mare actually attuned to her cutie mark is not something seen very often (as she had Twilight Organize Winter Wrap up and Her ridiculous outfit in Luna Eclipsed).  You really gave Mayor Mare a feel that I've never seen or thought about before and I really enjoyed it.  Thanks.

#36 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 15h ago · · ·

Fluffy and fun! I like it. The letter format makes me feel like this correspondence would be great chapter openers for the "real" story, like Ender's Game.

#37 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 15h ago · · ·

The story was well played out and the letter style was unique and provided you a way to poke a lot of fun at a lot of different things.  You had a well developed world and interesting characterization. I've found myself entranced and I loved the whole story.  

Honestly, the only reason I'm not scoring this higher is because of it's style.  It was a nice simple short enjoyable read.  I'd compare this to Portal, and amazing short game that you fall in love with, but because of what it is I don't enjoy it as much as an expertly crafted RPG.

Thus I give this and 8/10 (with 5 being average and not 7).  I'm definitely looking forward to the next story in this series.  

I am curious, are you gonna try and do anything about how badly your story got broken by the Trixie episode? Or are you just gonna leave it as it is?

#38 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 15h ago · · ·

Short and sweet and highly enjoyable.  Nice work!

>>1754967

Awesome!

#39 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 15h ago · · ·

Huzzah! I can now refer to this as 'The Petriculture Trilogy'!

#40 · Chapter 4 · 93w, 15h ago · 3 · ·

"unless you are aware of a career where ruthlessness and a tendency towards megalomania are considered desirable traits."

The Spanish Inquisition?

And poor Penumbra, she might want to consider relocating before a mob of anger Bronies appears at Sugarcube Corner due to her incident with Derpy. :pinkiehappy:

#41 · Chapter 7 · 93w, 14h ago · · ·

Somehow when I read about the barrister position at the end of the last chapter I just knew it was going to turn out to be something like this instead. :rainbowlaugh:

And I love the fact that this chapter is short and to the point.

#42 · Chapter 4 · 93w, 14h ago · 9 · ·

>>1755433

NOPONY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

#43 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 14h ago · · ·

This was a great little series and a nice addition to your two previous stories to this little corner of the MLP fanverse.

Having the entire story done through Penumbra's letters gave it an interesting point of view. I really like the character you've created here and I would love to see more of her in the future.

#44 · Chapter 3 · 93w, 14h ago · 14 · ·

it is apparently not considered a sound business practice to leave one’s customers cowering underneath a table in a pool of their own tears.

Though I've often wished it was:flutterrage:

#45 · Chapter 5 · 93w, 14h ago · · ·

>>1754469 Haunch would work in that context, I think

#46 · Chapter 7 · 93w, 14h ago · 25 · ·

Scones are just the waste product of a cake-fusion reactor, anyway.

#47 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 14h ago · · ·

Another great story. I'm kinda sad to not actually "see" these events happen like with a normal story structure, but this was amusing to read and gave a nice accounting of Penumbra's misadventures. I admit to having some sympathy towards her, as she has some of my own flaws: an inability to understand the STUPID various people who make questionable decisions.

Ah well, good story. Hope to see more about what happens in the Petriculture-verse. :pinkiehappy:

#48 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 14h ago · · ·

I'm sure you knew this would be coming by this point.

http://www.freeimagehosting.net/t/fz9i7.jpg

(I suppose I don't have to tell you to click for big by now.)

#49 · Chapter 5 · 93w, 14h ago · 1 · ·

>>1754469

I find "badonk" to be quite culturally-inclined.

#50 · Chapter 9 · 93w, 14h ago · · ·

Excellent story.

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