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  • T Inscape

    When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her.  · Kwakerjak
    29,281 words · 19,285 views  ·  2,186  ·  30  · 

Featured In47

More Stories9

  • T Inscape

    When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her.
    29,281 words · 19,285 views  ·  2,186  ·  30
  • E Avocation

    Penumbra seeks gainful employment.
    4,557 words · 7,056 views  ·  1,212  ·  16
  • T Wild, Sweet & Cool

    Rainbow Dash wants to add strength training to her regimen by having Twilight Sparkle ride her.
    34,747 words · 14,827 views  ·  1,629  ·  25
  • E π

    Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight Sparkle. ("Magic Duel" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)
    13,505 words · 6,015 views  ·  866  ·  12
  • E Flash Fog

    Fluttershy must deal with an unusually thick fog as it approaches Ponyville.
    127,920 words · 14,282 views  ·  1,623  ·  32
  • T Pandelirium

    Celestia decides to attempt to reform Discord, so she taps a pony with a similar background for the job. ("Keep Calm and Flutter On" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)
    77,357 words · 12,922 views  ·  810  ·  14
  • E So, Just What Went Wrong, Anyway?

    Before Applejack's pep rally, Derpy was acting really weird... even for her. This is why.
    5,213 words · 3,369 views  ·  333  ·  5
  • E The Final Accusation: A Legal Comedy

    A dozen years after ascending to become an alicorn, Applejack rules on the case of Tiara v. FlimFlam
    21,338 words · 2,554 views  ·  359  ·  6

Blog Posts399

  • Friday
    Prereader Conversation: Silly


    Thanks for the bunny picture.‏


    friend just linked it and i couldnt resist‏


    I get panicked when silly music doesn't help [with a bad mood].‏


    i know that feeling‏


    Usually, silly music makes me happy really quickly.‏


    for me it's friends telling jokes or cute animal pics‏


    Of course, maybe I didn't pick the best silly music.‏ You see, the songs I've been listening to are silly because the lyrics don't match the actual tune.‏ The lyrics are all goofy and happy-go-lucky and squeaky-clean-sunshine, but the actual music is over-the-top aggressive.‏‏

    Ordinarily, hearing someone rhyme‏ "Paul Bunyan" with onomatopoeia for a chainsaw motor ("run-yun-yun-yun") makes me smile every time.

    P.S. - If you're one of my other prereaders, don't worry -- you didn't miss a message where I said I was working on something. This conversation was in Skype, not GDocs.

    3 comments · 93 views
  • Thursday
    Flash Fog: Revision 2

    I've posted the second of the two revisions that I've planned for Flash Fog. This one is a bit wordier than the last one, so I'd just recommend reading it in the epilogue. It's the section about Lyra and Bon-Bon. I know a few people might prefer to have a more detailed description of the actual meeting that Fluttershy mentions, but there was one very huge obstacle to doing it that way: I'm out of material. Given that Lyra and Bon-Bon, being delusional weirdos,* don't change their opinions on humans at all, the actual conversation itself would just be a retread of all their previous conversations, and I simply could not think of any more approaches to the subject that were amusing enough to warrant a full scene.

    * Though, as I've noted before, the final sequence of the first EQG movie demonstrates that there is far more truth in their delusions than anypony (or their author, or that matter) could ever have anticipated.

    5 comments · 125 views
  • 1w, 1d
    Flash Fog: Revision 1

    I've posted the first of my planned revisions to the ending of Flash Fog. Since it's not particularly long, I'll also post it in the quotebox below for those who have already read the original version.

    As Celestia’s sun beat down upon her face, Apple Bloom smiled broadly. She’d completely forgotten that it had been a warm day before the fog rolled in. Nearby, she could see Rainbow Dash transporting Scootaloo in a similar fashion. The fog slid beneath them, though it was a brilliant white now that they were above it. To the east, a great column of white rose over the Everfree forest, expanding outwards like a great vertical fan as the sun’s heat warmed and evaporated the newly reborn clouds, the whiteness gradually blending into the bold, bright blue of the cloudless sky. And to the northwest, the peaks of the Unicorn Range jutted out of the last vestiges of the fog, free to once again bask in the late-summer sunlight.

    If you're wondering why it took so long for me to finish this paragraph, there's two reasons. First, I decided to take a little break from writing after finishing Flash Fog, and second, one of my prereaders wasn't certain whether the description of the dissipating fog was meteorologically feasible. To be honest, I'm not certain myself, so I let it sit for a day or two while I decided whether the allusion to Dante's Paradiso was worth the potential use of artistic license.* As you can tell, I decided that it was.

    * This was a particularly vexing decision since I'm fairly certain that Dante himself didn't bother to point out that he has arranged Heaven in the shape of a fan, since all of his original readers already shared his geocentric worldview. Still, this aspect of the Paradiso was one of the most memorable details in the lecture one of my professors gave on the Divine Comedy, and it still holds a lot of meaning for me.

    2 comments · 131 views
  • 2w, 1d
    The End?

    This blog post deals with the end of the story Flash Fog, which means that if I used spoiler tags over every potential spoiler it would just be an ugly wall of black text. I'm going to do my best to avoid excessive detail, but to be on the safe side, you may want to give this blog post a pass if you haven't finished the story and you actually care about spoilers.

    Alright, folks, I've been reading over the responses to the ending, and I figured that I might as well make a blog post instead of responding to a few repeated points in the comments section. I noticed that some of you had a few qualms with my approach. I'd like to respond to three points in particular (quotations are paraphrased):

    1. "You never actually showed the fog dissipating."

    I literally smacked my forehead when I read this, because I had planned on having Apple Bloom look at the fog dissipating over the Everfree Forest before she turned her head and saw that the mountaintops were now mostly clear (meaning that the wind had blown all of it over the mountain range). Boneheaded forgetfulness on my part; this part will almost certainly be rewritten to include the imagery I already had in mind for the dissipating fog. I'll be sure to inform you in a later blog post if/when this change is made.

    2. "What about Lyra and Bon-Bon?"

    Honestly, it hadn't occurred to me that their subplot, being primarily a form of comic relief, needed any sort of resolution, though upon reconsideration, I can see why that might be desired. At the moment, I have a few vague ideas of how to modify the epilogue to include the fate of SPHERE without it feeling like a blob of exposition that was shoehorned into the conversation between Pencil Pusher and Fluttershy for its own sake, so there's a good chance that this will revisited as well. Again, if changes are made, I'll make another blog post.

    3. "Abrupt."

    This one's a bit trickier. I suppose I can understand why the some of my readers thought that the rescue of the CMC would be more drawn-out and complicated. At this point, all I'm willing to say is that I had planned for their rescue to go off without a hitch since the earliest stages of this story---soon after I realized just how complicated the rest of the story would be, in fact. I don't want to go into a lot of details, mostly because I don't want to shove my personal interpretation of the story down my readers' throats, but I made this decision for thematic reasons, as opposed to any intuition that I needed to "wrap up" the story as quickly as possible. (I was going to write a sentence explaining things further here, but everything I came up with sounded way too pretentious and/or rather blatantly contradicted my stated desire to not shove my interpretation down your throats.) This aspect of the ending will almost certainly not be rewritten, but I hope that those of you who disagree with my decision will at least be able to take some enjoyment from the story as a whole.

    22 comments · 383 views
  • 2w, 4d
    Flash Fog: Final Update

    To any of my followers who have been waiting for me to finish Flash Fog before they start reading it:

    You may now start reading.

    10 comments · 178 views
  • ...

In an effort to keep her mind occupied, Twilight Sparkle decides to delve once again into the grand mysteries of Pinkie Pie. This time, Twilight's focus is on her claims of growing up on a rock farm: like so many things related to Pinkie Pie, the idea that somepony could grow rocks as an agricultural product makes absolutely no sense. However, the investigation eventually leads Twilight to a rather... surprising discovery.

This is the first story in The Petriculture Cycle.

Artwork by Page Turner. Now with a TV Tropes page.

First Published
6th Mar 2012
Last Modified
6th Mar 2012
#1 · 141w, 3d ago · 17 · ·

This is the kind of story that makes me want to jump for joy -- and at the same time, makes me feel entirely inadequate as an author.

You have The Magics!  :coolphoto:

#2 · 141w, 3d ago · 5 · ·

That could work...I mean only an imaginary friend could be like Pinkie.

And I think the statue Celestia was looking at was Discord...who knows..

#3 · 141w, 3d ago · 5 · ·

This is without a doubt the cleverest fic I have ever read! :pinkiegasp:

Wow... just... wow! :pinkiehappy:

#5 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

:| ....Goddammit, this is now my headcanon. This story is AWESOME.

#6 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

Love it:heart:

To good for a oneshort, needs more.

#7 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

Headcanon accepted.

#8 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

They were referencing Nightmare Moon or Discord at the end. (Im sexy and) I KNOW IT!

#9 · 141w, 3d ago · 2 · ·


That's what I had in mind.

#10 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

My god. I love you. You're a genius and I love you.

#11 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

That was awesome.

#12 · 141w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

Oooooh... that was clever. You are a very clever pony and you should feel very clever.


What an idea! An amazing concept coupled with some really heartfelt emotional conflict-- the tings I enjoy the most in a story. Wonderful, wonderful!

And that end... was actually perfect. I shivered a little bit, imagining a sort of camera-pan towards Discord in the garden. Discord as an imaginary friend would make perfect sense. He seems relatively benign for something that embodies chaos. I mean, no one dies, no one is seriously hurt directly by him, and he even surrenders the location to the only weapons capable of defeating him. He's a mean imaginary friend of a god playing a game. A mean game... but still a game.

#13 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

I love this idea so much. I want this to be canon is how much I love it.

#14 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

I'm not going to induct this into my headcanon, but only because I already have a complex setup in place involving Pinkie's sisters, parents, and the various occupational perils of petriculture. Rest assured, I still think that this is still a fantastically thought out and written origin story. Well done!:pinkiehappy:

#15 · 141w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

I've seen Pinkie as a standard pony... Pinkie as a cyborg clone from a colony of outer-space Pinkies... Pinkie as the embodiment of primordial chaos and a danger to all of Equestria... As the grand-daughter of Loki, or as the assistant of Death from another realm, as a killer, as an amnesiac, as an inventor and as a Great Old One...

And now I can add 'imaginary friend' to that list as well.  She Of The Many Origins. :pinkiesmile:

#16 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

Shivers at the last part. Thank you for writing this, you are a genius. I shall be watching you.

#17 · 141w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

This story is good and you should feel good for writing it.

Pinkie-as-imaginary-friend is fantastic, and the Surprise reference is even better.

#18 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

I want to hear about Celestea and lunar making an imaginary friend into a real pony:trollestia:

#19 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

really good story, and  wonderful ending, i hope there will be a story about luna and celestia creating discord ,too

#20 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

and, mind fuck

#21 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·


.....Mind blown

#22 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

I`m impressed.

Well done.

#23 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

Wow.  That was amazing! I love the way you structured the revelation and made it make sense.

#24 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

This is the coolest fan-fic I have EVER READ. :pinkiehappy: Have my thumbs and stars.

#25 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

:pinkiegasp: Wow, that was good! :pinkiehappy:

#26 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

This story is at least 19.3 levels of awesome.

#27 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

Well crap. I don't know what to say about this. It's heartwarming, and a little sad at the same time. That'd be so strange. To have created your best friend, and not have her be merely imaginary.

I only got the part about Discord after comparing some comments and the last few sentences, but that one actually almost brought a tear to my eye. Because that's kind of heartbreaking, because what if he was benign at first, but they got bored in their godhood-ness and forgot about him, only for him to become angry?

#28 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

That was absolutely brilliant. I'm so glad I decided to take the time to read this. :pinkiehappy:

#29 · 141w, 2d ago · 2 · ·


I really don't even know right now. Surprise=Pinkie=My poor brain's utter confusion. Beautifully written though, so congrats on that.

#30 · 141w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

First impression:

Huh, Pinkie must have a sad past or something.

By the end:


#31 · 141w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

This is... plausible, almost. Yeah, damn a mindscrew and a half-and I love it!:pinkiehappy: And the end with Discord and the Elements? Perfect capper.

#33 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

Wow just wow.

#34 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·


#35 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·


Course, this makes TwiPie an incredibly awkward ship. But still, I think this'll become headcanon for me anyway. Also makes Discord more tragic, which is a sad plus. :fluttercry:

#36 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

at first i was all like: this is funny and it's a really good book:pinkiesmile:

then i was all like: hmm so pinkie's just twi's imaginary friend from her fillyhood? well that makes sense.:duck:

then after the end i was just all like: wow they created Discord? and....... 3........... 2..........1 ..... aaaaand MINDFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pinkiecrazy::rainbowlaugh: GOOD NIGHT EVERYPONY!!!!!!!!!!!:twilightsheepish:

#37 · 141w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

My closest theory/prediction was Pinkie coming from the 4th wall. Others included Twi's sister, orphan, and spy from the Griffan kingdom. I was blindsided by the 'Twi's imaginary friend' origin.

Thumbs up and favorited!:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::raritystarry::yay::ajsmug::rainbowdetermined2::derpytongue2::scootangel::twistnerd:

#38 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

:pinkiegasp: I will never look at Pinkie Pie the same way again!

And I LOVE it! :pinkiehappy:

#39 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

3/5. While an interesting idea through and through, the actual content needs cleaning up in several places. I recommend reading a style book.

Try harder. Don't just push for excellency. Push for perfection.

#40 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·




Can they still date? :pinkiehappy::twilightblush:

#41 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

This was shear BRILLIANCE.

5/5 for sure.

#42 · 141w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Wow... This is... New. BUT IT MAKES SENSE! :pinkiegasp:

Mind = blown.

#43 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

3, 2, 1, headcanon updated!

#44 · 141w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Niiice. Not quite up to being incorporated into my headcanon, but still a good story to have and an interesting and original take on our favorite pink cluster of highly-localized insanity singularities.

Very, very good show, sir. Quite lovely.:ajsmug:

#45 · 141w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

O.O ........:derpyderp1::derpyderp2::rainbowhuh::twilightoops::applejackconfused:


This is incredible!  I................


words are inadequate here.   I need something stronger......  Nope, I've got nothing.

Your story is awesome and brilliant.

#46 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

What were they smoking to come up with discord?

Great overall....much better a reason than 'Pinkie Pie is an escaped mental patient' reason more commonly used.

#47 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·


I've seen all sorts of explorations of Pinkie's childhood and her family, but this one's unique. Mind-blowing! :pinkiegasp:

#48 · 141w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

O.O it's all so clear now

#49 · 141w, 2d ago · 1 · ·


This is now my headcanon. FOR-EV-ER.

#50 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

tl;dr :trollestia:

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