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  • T King of Diamonds

    Book 2 of The Ambassador's Son
    209,759 words · 5,342 views  ·  641  ·  20
  • T The Ambassador's Son

    A colt loses his family, Celestia deems his best hope lies not with ponies, but a dragon.
    85,462 words · 11,576 views  ·  953  ·  35
  • E Buck to the Future

    Scootaloo is a small pegasus with big dreams, one dream is to be even more famous than Rainbow Dash
    4,787 words · 7,202 views  ·  219  ·  8
  • E Friendship is Optimal - Firewall

    Sometimes the land of Equestria, under Celest-AI, needs to be protected. Pity they got me. Now, if only I can figure out these pony boots and this headset...
    39,559 words · 1,582 views  ·  152  ·  5
  • T Dexterity

    Spike the dragon, now an anatomical forensics expert, comes back to visit Ponyville, and discovers Rarity is in need of help with a troublesome client. The gentle dragon-shaped pony is only too pleased to assist.
    3,013 words · 1,439 views  ·  151  ·  5
  • E Friendship is Optimal - Yggdrasil

    When you're an immortal alicorn, you need hobbies. When you're an immortal Archon alicorn, your hobbies are worlds.
    1,439 words · 1,643 views  ·  109  ·  4
  • E The Midnight Run

    Some say Earth ponies have no magic... but that isn't true. They are the secret custodians of nature
    3,150 words · 3,000 views  ·  231  ·  15
  • E Nightfall at Sweet Apple Acres

    Morning turns to day, turns to night. The sun sets on us all, even the Elements of Harmony.
    20,598 words · 3,530 views  ·  164  ·  10

Blog Posts190

  • 3w, 2d
    September (cough) state of (hack) the (urgh, snot, splort, groan) writer

    I've been sick for the last three weeks. Frelling magnificent.

    6 comments · 103 views
  • 6w, 2d
    that third thing: c25k

    Told you I was scatterbrained... I finally remembered what that third thing was that I've been doing. It's called 'c25k'.

    C25K stands for 'couch to 5k', as in 'couch potato to 5 kilometer runner'. It's supposed to lead you from being a fat slob sitting in front of the television to be able to run for 30 minutes - or roughly five kilometers - in about nine weeks.

    I've just started week 3, but I've been doing this for about five weeks... blame school holidays ending, trips to Estonia and some really shitty weather for making me repeat (not abandon or postpone) weeks 1 and 2. I have to say though, I think it works. It's scary when you start a new week, and the first attempt at each new week is always worse than the one before it... but I'm doing okay. I'm running the distance.

    If you've ever wanted to get into shape, but just don't know how, then this is the easiest, cheapest way to get into shape I've found yet: all you need is an mp3 player and a pair of sneakers. And clothes - most people look at you oddly if you're not dressed.

    Follow this link and download the podcasts, do what the nice lady says and you'll be on your way in no time.

    6 comments · 77 views
  • 6w, 3d
    Oh mah gawd, it's alive! It's ALLIIVVEEE! (muahahaaa)

    Yah yah, I know: long time no see.

    Well, I thought I should kind of fix that. 'Kind of' because I'm kind of scatterbrained at the moment, don't really have the time to dedicate to a proper entry and a third reason which totally helps explain things. I have been busy in life. The good sort of busy, I guess, which leads to not much writing but doesn't lead to horrible depression and ennui. I've not really had much time to interact here, so... I'm alive. And writing - slowly.

    When it comes out, out and about chapter 10 will be the last. I hope it's as awesome as it is in my head...

    And when it comes out, king of diamonds chapter 28 won't be the last... but it will also be awesome.

    Promises, promises, I know, but almost one thousand people can't be that wrong, can they? Yes, that's right, almost a thousand people think I'm kinda awesome! I'm shocked. I'm also hoping that it's a modicum of talent and not merely having been here forever.

    So what have I been doing when not-writing? We-eelll... I've been coding. It might be going somewhere. And once I finish (actually, once it's 'good enough') then I might use what I've learned on something else. Something writing-y related.

    Stay tuned.

    So, what've you all been up to?

    10 comments · 105 views
  • 15w, 19h
    Crystal Fair Con: Day 1: 72 hours remain

    2 comments · 118 views
  • 15w, 3d
    Con day zero: 96* hours remaining

    So: Thursday was the first day of the con for me, same as it was for everyone on staff who wasn't actively involved in any real pre-setup.

    Thursday (super early!) saw Tabitha and Kevin arrive. I believe the flight went relatively well, but at something like 14 hours plus, it was exhausting as heck and the pair understandably needed to decompress and get some energy back. They did that by soldiering through the jetlag like real troopers and enjoying themselves some Helsinki in summer. The only stories I could really tell at this point would be second hand, so I won't embellish - they had fun and that was pretty much that.

    By the way, have I said yet that Tabitha is super-super-nice? And that so is Kevin? Because they both are. Honest. I've seen pissy diva's and pushy little monsters but Tabitha is so awesome and a lot of fun to be around, and Kevin knows his stuff when it comes to the little details that really round out the experience for the guests. If I ever get to do this again, thanks to the little tricks he just flat out does at the flick of a wrist (hoof? I guess he's an honorary pony, though - without being mean, honest - I'd see him more as a sharp-eyed griffon!) I'll be better next year.

    I didn't get to meet Tabitha on Thursday, and to be honest other than walking to a bunch of hotels I didn't care about because I didn't really need to know where they were and seeing a bunch of people I would come to care about but at that moment didn't (no offence, but on Thursday everyone was a stranger in person!) and faffing around at the airport with the sorts of minor schedule mishaps that can occur when Finnair (I think, don't quote me on that) loses an entire effin' plane's worth of luggage, everything went pretty well.

    My target, Anneli, made her way to Helsinki fine, but remember when I mentioned about losing all the luggage?

    Yup.

    You may have seen her joyful reunion with her bright yellow suitcase on twitter from the Friday, because her belongings had a mini vacation of their own in kocha bamba...

    I could have seriously missed Thursday, but I will totally agree that it was good preparation for what was to come...

    *yeah, I know, the actual time the con had wasn't that long, but what'm I gonna do, huh?

    2 comments · 87 views
  • ...
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 3,811

These are the voyages of the... wait, wrong cue card... Ahem. Yes. These are a collection of silly, off-the-hoof stories written whilst bored as a kind of self-hazing experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Some are short, real short, and only one is of any substantial length, but you may enjoy them.

I think they're now complete, until we get new victims... er, pre-readers, who wish to join in.

First Published
12th Jan 2012
Last Modified
5th Aug 2012
#1 · 145w, 1d ago · · · Midnight on the Moon ·

Brilliant.

#2 · 145w, 1d ago · · · Midnight on the Moon ·

I don't have enough hooves to facehoof hard enough for this lol. Hope to see more from you soon Midnight :twilightsmile:

#3 · 145w, 1d ago · · · Midnight on the Moon ·

What.

:facehoof: So silly...:rainbowlaugh:

#4 · 145w, 1d ago · · · Midnight on the Moon ·

LOL

#5 · 145w, 1d ago · · · Midnight on the Moon ·

This is pretty funny, gotta say.  :pinkiehappy:

#6 · 145w, 1d ago · · · Midnight on the Moon ·

oh kay

BAHAHAHA!!! This is awesome and priceless, and I hope all jobs are this good :rainbowlaugh:

The whole "Sethisto-Box" thing makes me wonder, why hasn't there been a Hellriser crossover? Know what? Fuck it, when I'm done with the DMC crossover I'm going to write it. Sethisto is Pinhead. Phoe I guess could be one of the Wire Sisters, Cereal is The Torso, you can be, I dunno CD? Or Butterball lulz and because I'm awesome I'll be Chatter Beast...I'm getting off track here.

This story is a bit confusing for me, every line just confuses me more as I read, a little funny though

#9 · 145w, 14h ago · · · The Scottish Ploy ·

Hmm are muffins worth not setting things on fire?

These are great btw.

#10 · 145w, 6h ago · · · Tempest's First Day ·

It's not fair, I wanna work there :twilightangry2: :raritycry: :fluttercry: :flutterrage:

#11 · 145w, 6h ago · · · Tempest's First Day ·

>> Cloudhammer

Don't we all?

#12 · 145w, 4h ago · · · Tempest's First Day ·

Somewhere near a water cooler...

"-And I said to him You can't possibly expect mares to do that wet-look mane! It looks too sultry and it conveys the wrong message to the foals, would you have your daughter have that wet-look? No I wouldn't think so! I blame that sock craze a few months back, I mean c'mon socks, really? Was it some kind of innuendo slash double entendre or some manure like that? You know what kind of mates wear socks? The ones in those triple horseshoe movies, yeah those movies. And I know what you might be thinking, Oh but Teal surely you don't believe all that? And you know what I'd tell you? I'd tell ya to think inside the chimny! Also look back at when the sweater thing also became popular! Sweaters stallion! Think about it! All these sheeponies (sheeple) are just so...mainstream you know? THE POWER OF ANTI-CONFORMITY COMPELS YOU! Ahaha look all I'm trying to say is...that oatmeal is a hellavu drug!"

"Bro all I asked is if you seen my sandwich."

#13 · 144w, 6d ago · · · Concerto - by Siraj ·

another excellent chapter, keep em coming :twilightsmile:

#14 · 144w, 6d ago · · · Concerto - by Siraj ·

*listens to Brian M vs McBunn - Automatic*

Cool-cool-cool-cool-cool :trollestia:

#15 · 144w, 5d ago · · · Tempest's First Day ·

>>127793

... yeah, that's pretty much how it is.

enough caffeine to turn a normal pony so hyper they explode into jam?!

*thinking* Pinkie Pie + The Mecanic's coffee = ∞/∞

What the fuck did I just

looks like extra security is needed to keep the Pink Menace away from this... or Rainbow, either one could rip a hole into the 5th dimension with this stuff haha

Coffemakers & Zuchinnis...cause Quils & Sofas, original. Lul

Anyways I want to be in this

>>134704

There's actually a "code pink" story, but I need to talk to the author to get it approved... :pinkiehappy:

#22 · 143w, 4d ago · · · Solace - by Siraj ·

so much d'aww :rainbowlaugh:

:facehoof::facehoof:

This is why you read twice, approve once :rainbowlaugh:

#24 · 143w, 3d ago · 1 · · Midnight on the Moon ·

:derpytongue2: wat :rainbowlaugh:

#25 · 143w, 2d ago · · · Code Pink - by Polecat ·

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

I can't blame them though, I'd likely react the same way if I saw Pinkie charging my way too.

#26 · 143w, 2d ago · · · The Maid - by Polecat ·

*facehoof* Oh Celestia, why you be such a troll?

:trollestia: problem?

NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE MOON! Although, it'd get me out of this class :rainbowlaugh:

#27 · 143w, 2d ago · · · Code Pink - by Polecat ·

My ass this food will go straight to my plot!

#29 · 143w, 2d ago · · · Code Pink - by Polecat ·

Mane its probably a good judge for Pinkie. Example: Straight? Unhappy with a Cupcakes splinter-fic.

#30 · 139w, 3d ago · · · Midnight on the Moon ·

dafuq?

#31 · 135w, 1h ago · · · The Scottish Ploy ·

I am somehow reminded of the Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night.

#32 · 135w, 45m ago · · · Midnight on the Moon ·

Oh god, this is awesome. :rainbowlaugh: I guess this is why you're sending them to the sun now?

#33 · 135w, 1m ago · · · Code Pink - by Polecat ·

>>356629

Good catch! "Guards! Guards!" was my first discworld novel, and the very idea that something so meta, amusing, relevant and crazy could exist was a real eye-opener. I don't know if it's my absolute favourite, but it is the one I tell people to read first.

#34 · 134w, 6d ago · · · Code Pink - by Polecat ·

>>356750 For me it was Equal Rites. But the Guards series remains joint first with the Wizards as examples of great, comedic but still serious fiction.

I actually saw a play of Guards, Guards once. Was very good. They had a "narrator" character to deliver the footnotes or narration jokes in paused-time. She occasionally adjusted things before the time unpaused again, which was fun.

#35 · 134w, 6d ago · · · Code Pink - by Polecat ·

>>356765

Apparently (and I am inclined to believe it), having a dragon in a play is easier than a normal-sized monster, because you don't have to show the dragon, only what it does. Imagination does the rest.

The idea of draconic manipulations behinds the scenes also haunts Ambassador's Son.

#36 · 134w, 6d ago · · · Code Pink - by Polecat ·

Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the pinnacle of the fan fiction universe. It's all downhill from here. I've had a good run, but that's it for me; I might as well stop trying. Well played, pre-readers. Well played.

#37 · 134w, 6d ago · · · Midnight Coffee ·

Um ill take a Decaf please

#38 · 134w, 6d ago · · · Midnight Coffee ·

Huh?

What even just happened?

Darn you prereaders, getting onto Equestria Daily with this stuff just because you work there!:flutterrage:

Eh, I have no right to complain, since I'm one of the authors who actually has gotten stuff onto EQD.:twilightsheepish:

#39 · 134w, 6d ago · · · Tempest's First Day ·

That office read like a description of the inside of my own mind.

I would so work there. Because then i could bring in explosives and amuse myself on my breaks by exploding bad stories. :pinkiecrazy:

so EQD uses Celectia"s Banana Cannon to send bad fanfics to the moon. but every time Celectia used that cannon to send the ponies to the moon she missed every single time. So I must ask, where are all the fanfics ending up if not on the moon?

#41 · 134w, 6d ago · · · Midnight on the Moon ·

Lol.

#42 · 134w, 6d ago · · · Midnight Coffee ·

"There was a sudden fizzle of angrily-applied winged unicorn princess power followed by the clattering cacophony of four horse-shoes, a bunch of nails and a mostly-full plastic sippy mug hitting the ground."

Oh goodness, the writing here is great. :D

#43 · 134w, 6d ago · · · The Scottish Ploy ·

I love the concept of a story about the shenanagans of the EQD staff. :D

AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! :rainbowlaugh:

A V8-powered coffee maker... So awesome. :pinkiehappy:

This one was full of randomness and insanity and I loved it.

#45 · 134w, 6d ago · · · Code Pink - by Polecat ·

*Reaches end of story collection*

Awww, no more? Oh well, this kept me up late enough anyway.

Good stuff from all of y'all. :pinkiesmile:

#46 · 134w, 6d ago · · · Code Pink - by Polecat ·

Two words you NEVER want to hear uttered together at the EqD office:

CODE HARMONY

#47 · 134w, 6d ago · · · Midnight on the Moon ·

I laughed.

I guess this is what you guys have to deal with every day, eh? :rainbowlaugh:

#48 · 134w, 6d ago · · · Code Pink - by Polecat ·

Sweet Leaf - Black Sabbath

There was weed involved, I just know it.

That first paragraph reminds me of something. Wait a minute.... Is the monty python reference intentional?

Regardless, one of the funniest things I've read for a while. :pinkiehappy:

#50 · 134w, 6d ago · 1 · · The Scottish Ploy ·

“By the pricking of my hooves, something wicked this way moves...” intoned the great and powerful Sethisto in a giggling high-pitched cackle.

This is the greatest sentence ever conceived by man.

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